Chapter Text
If one were to ask Jungkook about his early dorm life with Bangtan, he would probably recall being painfully shy, being a bit selfish and being extremely sensitive. But he also remembers the nicer memories of the early Bangtan dorm that made his life more bearable in the cruel world he was exposed to at a young age.
Jungkook remembers joining Jimin and Taehyung on their after school trips to the ramen shop. Always a favorite activity of his since he felt like a normal teenager in those moments. He remembers Namjoon-hyung letting him sit and hear his guides to songs he worked on. He remembers Yoongi letting showing him the basics of piano whenever he asked for it. But what he most vividly remembers is his Seokjin-hyung’s constant kindness and care. Seokjin hyung would always try to take care of him whether it be with a warm mean, a game or by inviting him to places and even his own house. And perhaps, years down the road, these memories will remain the highlight of his life.
--
When Jungkook had travelled all the way from Busan to live in Seoul, he knew he would feel lonely and homesick. He knew it would not be easy living in a dorm and he knew it would not be easy sharing with other people. But he did it for his dreams and he did it well, considering all things. But while he did imagine it being hard to live away, he didn’t expect the loneliness to start affecting his performance this badly.
During the early trainee days, before they even got the name bangtan as a potential group, all trainees were constantly working hard to improve themselves. The atmosphere wasn’t cut throat, but it was definitely competitive enough to keep everyone on their toes. It left little time to think and worry about other things.
However, now that he felt relatively secure in his position as a trainee who was potentially lined up for debut, he started to finally breathe a bit more easy. The ease however, brought along the sense of crippling loneliness and homesickness that had been held at bay for so long. It had been a while since he had seen his parents. He wanted to go meet them. But life suddenly seemed utterly full of work, with no escape from the constant stress to be prepared for a debut in the possible future.
The stress and loneliness was making practice and learning burdensome for Jungkook at this point. He no longer felt like he was performing well. His vocal lessons hadn’t seen any improvement the past few sessions. The tasks they were assigned to complete every week weren’t going smoothly either and his dancing also needed more work. Yet he couldn’t find the energy to do that. Everything seemed like a chore. The constant echo of work, work, work was now tiresome and Jungkook could already feel himself burning out. It was not a good sign. Especially so soon after becoming part of a potential debut lineup.
--
*~Jungkook~*
Jungkook wakes up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning. He feels more terrible than he has in forever and he finds his mood plummeting as he gets up to start the insane routine of school and work, like every other day.
Jungkook dislikes school. Not only because he does not enjoy many subjects but also because of the insanely early timing. Anyone could testify that Jungkook did not like waking up in the morning.
He was silent and moody as Jin drove him to school. But that was pretty much a regular occurrence for him recently, so Jin didn’t question him about the behavior. He walked into school, uninterested and walked out with the same mindset. The day was just one big annoyance for him. He only remembers one thing from the day, and that’s because it had added to his already growing annoyance.
Right before he was leaving the class for the dorm, he heard his friends call out to him, asking if he would like to hang out after school. Seeing all of them laughing and excited about hanging out and discussing plans about eating left a sour taste in his mouth as he was reminded once again that his life as a trainee doesn’t allow him enough leisure time to be spending it with his friends. Angry and upset he had mumbled an excuse of being busy and told them to go enjoy themselves. The day was just getting better and better.
His ride home was even more sullen (if possible) than in the morning, and he stubbornly kept his earphones in even when Jin called out to him. He was sure he was going to end up arguing with him for no reason.
Jungkook was taken straight to the bighit building afterwards. He had vocal lessons followed by dance practice. The dance practice was for one of their weekly assigned tasks and like it or not, he still hadn’t memorized the steps yet. A rather slow progress for him.
--
It’s pretty evident throughout the dance practice that Jungkook is not in a good mood. Both Namjoon and Hoseok try approaching him but he stays silent, feeling too in his head to even coherently answer what he’s feeling. This only leads to concerned looks and he can hear each of them asking one another what might be wrong. But every time they approach him, he turns away, unwilling to communicate.
By the end of dance practice, they are tired. Progress is painfully slow and they are a bit behind schedule. It only leads to more stress for Jungkook. The trip back to the dorm afterwards is spent in silence. They all are too exhausted to even be talking and everyone collapses as soon as they finish eating the food that was brought in by their manager.
Jungkook lays awake once everyone is asleep. Thinking about everything that’s been going on and trying to make himself understand that he can’t keep thinking of a carefree life if he wants to be an idol. But it’s hard.
Tired and exhausted, he finally drifts off into a dreamless sleep.
--
Next morning
Jungkook wakes up next morning grateful for the fact that it was a Saturday, but still pretty much disgruntled by the fact that trainee life has no “Saturday”. He finds himself mechanically going through the motions as he gets up, has a bit of breakfast and then sets off with the rest of bangtan to their dance practice room.
They seem to be making better progress than they did yesterday on their dance routine. It’s relieving because Jungkook isn’t sure how long he can keep up the façade of being engaged.
At this point, even a one-day break would be better than nothing.
Oh Jungkook, but you know this is just the beginning. You’re already tiring ou?. How are you going to cope with the idol life, huh? He asks himself. His life now comprised of school, dancing, singing, studio work and sleeping, with daily meals sprinkled in the middle. He thought about his friends talking about going out to enjoy, and sighed. Suck it up, Jeon.
--
*~Jin~*
Jin had been closely observing Jungkook since yesterday and he wasn’t exactly sure what was bothering the boy but he knew he wanted to help. He had seen Jungkook looking disengaged all day. Perhaps it was time he went up to him and finally said something.
Once their schedule is over, Jin strategically corners Jungkook before he can escape.
“Hey Jungkook-ah!”, he says.
“Hey Jin-Hyung!” Jungkook says, clearly not interested in talking. “I’m in a bit of a hurry, you know?”
“Oh really?!” Jin replies, feigning surprise. “Even if I was about to ask if you would like to join me for a game of billiards and some nice food?”
Jungkook stops avoiding Jin’s eyes at this point and looks up like a deer caught in headlights. “What?!”, he asks.
“You heard me. You want to join for a game of billiards and some food? The other members said they were too tired so I thought I’d ask you. But I guess you’re busy, too.” Jin finishes pouting, knowing he had already successfully baited Jungkook.
“N-No. I mean, I can join you if the others are tired. I don’t want Hyung to feel like giving up on his plans just because none of us can spare time.” Jungkook replies earnestly.
Jin suppresses a giggle. Jungkook can be adorable sometimes and now definitely counted as one of those times.
“Then shall we go down to my car then?” Jin asks.
Jungkook only nods and follows Jin.
Half an hour later, they are at this nice gaming room that serves food and bear. Jungkook is already famished so despite acting all aloof throughout the ride, he can’t help but turn to Jin looking between him and the food signs.
Jin smiles. He’s glad to see Jungkook showing any emotion right now. Even if it is hunger.
Jin happily allows Jungkook to order whatever he wants, then orders for himself and pays. They get cozy at one of the tables. Soon their food is being served to them, nice and hot and despite keeping himself composed throughout, Jin can’t help but pounce on the food. The action breaks the awkwardness between the two and they both start laughing and dig in together.
--
*~Jungkook~*
Jungkook feels happy in the moment. He hasn’t felt this happy in DAYS. He feels himself relax completely and feel content with the food, company and environment. Deliberate or not, Jungkook was happy Jin had brought him along. It had taken his mind off of his constant brooding and had finally given him a bit of breathing space.
“So, Jungkook. Do you like this place and the food?” Jin asks, half way through his meal.
Jungkook, who still has his mouth stuffed nods enthusiastically, “Yes!”
“I’m glad you like it. The owner of this place knows me. I come here sometimes to play billiards and just relax. Trainee life can get really tiring. We are always working.” Jin shares.
Jungkook silently eats his food and listens to Jin.
“Have you ever played billiards before?” Jin suddenly asks.
Now that Jin mentions it, Jungkook realized he had never played the game. “Nope!” he replies.
“Don’t worry. Hyung will teach you. We aren’t leaving without teaching you billiards and at least playing one game.” Jin says beaming at Jungkook as if the action will give him the greatest delight.
Jungkook nods. He feels so grateful at the moment for his hyung treating him to food like this. He always felt this age gap with Jin, mostly because, well, there WAS an age gap. He knew that Jin tried very hard to make them all feel like friends. But you couldn’t blame the younger ones for feeling awkward about it either. It was going to take time.
--
After the food, as promised, Jin introduces Jungkook to the game of billiards, along with some of his friends there as well. His friends immediately take a liking to Jungkook and mutually seem to agree on treating him like a younger brother and enthusiastically explaining to him how the game works.
Jungkook finds himself understanding and getting a hang of the game pretty quickly. Both Jin and his friends encourage him and praise him for his skill despite playing for the first time.
Jungkook also doesn’t fail to notice how Jin politely turns down a drink with his friends when they ask him to join them. He knows Jin probably did it out of consideration for Jungkook’s feelings even if he wouldn’t have really minded.
Jungkook, in short was grateful for tonight. He left the place happy and energized. Ready to tackle the trainee life with renewed vigor. He tells himself that this was probably a one time thing. Jin really couldn’t be baby-sitting him every time he wanted to come and relax with his friends.
As they drove back to the dorms Jin turned to Jungkook. “That was really fun right?! We should do it again sometime. Maybe other members can join too if they have time. Oh and before I forget, my parents have been asking me to visit them again, so do you want to join me after our schedule next Saturday?”
If you were to ask Jungkook today, what were few of the most touching occasions in his entire life, he would most probably mention that Saturday as one of them. That day, made Jungkook realize that he had friends right here in bangtan who he can have fun with and enjoy some time with whenever he was feeling overwhelmed. Even more importantly, these people considered him family. Jin-hyung considered him family and he felt most grateful to him.