Chapter Text
Ochako: GUYS
Ochako: OH M GOD
Ochako: GUESS WHO DEKU THINKS IS HOT
Izuku: th
Tenya: URARAKA THIS IS AN INAPPROPRIATE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION FOR THE CLASSROOM GROUPCHAT
Shouto: tell m
Shouto: tell m e
Katsuki: WHO THE FUCK IS IT ROUNDFACE
Tsuyu: Isn’t this private?
Tsuyu: ribbit
Ochako: NO ITS FUNNY I PROMISE
Izuku: thank you for being the only one who actually cares about me, Tsuyu
Tsuyu: No problem Izuku
Shouto: tell me now please
Izuku: thanks Todoroki
Eijirou: I WANNA KNOW
Denki: ME TOO
Izuku: T HANKS YOU GUYS
Katsuki: SPIT IT THE FUCK OUT
Ochako: AIZAWA SENSEI
Shouto: oh
Iida: NOW I CANNOT REPORT THIS CONVERSATION TO OUR INSTRUCTOR
Iida: URARAKA A REPRIMAND MUST BE PUT INTO PLACE
Shouto: I
Shouto: I don’t know how to feel about that
Katsuki: THE FUCKING T E A C H E R
Denki: ME AND KIRISHIMA ARE SHITTING OURSELVES AHAHAHA
Ochako: I KNOW RIGHT HES LIKE 35
Izuku: OKAY NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF
Katsuki: SHUT UR FUCKIN FACE
Katsuki: THATS FUCKING ILLEGAL
Katsuki: AND IMMORAL WHAT THE FUCK
Denki: THE NICEST ONE IN THE CLASS HAS THE DARKEST SECRET LMAOOOO
Izuku: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT
Izuku: FUCK YOU BAKUGOU HE’S A TILF GET OUT OF MY FACE
Eijirou: THE ONE TIME MIDORIYA STANDS UP FOR HIMSELF AND ITS OVER THIS ARGUMENT
Katsuki: DID OYU FUCKIGH CALL ME BAKUGOU
Izuku: YEAH IM MAD OVER THIS
Izuku: U KNO WHAT?????
-Shinsou Hitoshi has been added to the group!-
Izuku: Shinsou, isn’t Aizawa Sensei hot? :) pls dont lie
Hitoshi: H
Hitoshi: hes
Hitoshi: he
Izuku: its okay take your time
Hitoshi: He could strangle me with his scarf things and I would say thank you
Izuku: SEE!?
Katsuki: WHO THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS
Ochako: IM. CRIYING
Ochako: blease tell me who else you’re interested in
Izuku: You’ll just say something else :(
Ochako: I PR OMISS I WONT
Shouto: my body is actively decaying as this conversation continues, I just want you guys to know that
Katsuki: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Katsuki: FUCKING
Katsuki: ICYHOT
Denki: IM SEIZING
Kyouka: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
Kyouka: Midoriya please tell us who else you think is hot
Izuku: that one really, really (really) tall detective with the short dark hair
Ochako: I cannt breathe
Ochako: deku hes like thirtyh
Ochako: Oh my goh
Izuku: YOU SAID YOUWOULDNT SAY ANYTHING!!!
Hitoshi: I would let him raw me
Izuku: Shinsou understands me I’m moving to the gen ed course
Izuku: he’s a better friend than any of you are
Denki: KIRISHIMA IS HYPERVENTILATING AHA
Shouto: I’m very sad
Kyouka: It’s okay lol just be over 28 and it looks like Midoriya will be interested in you
Izuku: What???
Shouto: ah,
Kyouka: LOL OH NO
Izuku: I thought officer Tsukauchi was 32????
Ochako: hhh
Ochako: hhhoh
Ochako: that hurt s
Kyouka: I just witnessed a fucking death
Katsuki: I almost feel fucking bad for this guy
Denki: this kid just got straight curved and he wasn't even trying to finesse
Izuku: WHAT WAS I WRONG ABOUT THE AGE???
Ochako: just sit there and look pretty Izuku it’ll be okay
Shouto: no it won’t
Eijirou: oh my goD
-
Ochako: deku, I have a question
Ochako: other people can answer this but it’s mostly for you Deku
Izuku: yeah?
Ochako: Do you think present mic is hot?
Izuku: uh, no not really I guess
Ochako: wait what
Katsuki: Deku are you fucking lying
Eijirou: what??
Izuku: no not really
Ochako: What’s different about him!? He’s handsome!
Izuku: I don’t really know! I guess I don’t really like his hair?
Ochako: hmm, do you like any other teachers?
Izuku: WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED?
Izuku: also I like how you guys think I’m immediately interested in every man that’s over the age of 20 it’s really flattering and doesn’t make me feel like a degenerate at all
Shouto: Uraraka these conversations just make people hurt, I want you to know that
Ochako: TODOROKI HUSH AND IZUKU IM JUST REALLY CURIOUS BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS REALLY FUNNY
Ochako: you don’t even have to tell me teachers!! Any hero will do!!! :D !
Izuku: I will literally get dragged so hard for this
Izuku: I don’t think I can handle it
Katsuki: yeah you fuckin will
Shouto: my heart hurts but still I read on
Momo: Todoroki, please
Shouto: I am a masochist, it seems
Momo: TODOROKI PLEASE
Ochako: EVERYONE STOP IZUKU PLEASE TELL ME
Izuku: I REALLY DONT WANT TO
Katsuki: FUCKING DO IT
Eijirou: PLEASE
Ochako: PEER PRESSURE ALWAYS WORKS
Izuku: INGENIUM IS REALLY HANDSOME
Izuku: LIKE REALLY REALLY HANDSOME
Ochako: AAAAAAAAAAA AA
Izuku: IIDA I WAS JEALOUS OF YOU FOR A WHILE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT APPRECIATE IT
Tenya: MY. BROTHE R
Tenya: IF I APPRECIATED MY BROTHER LIKE YOU APPRECIATE HIM, I WOULD BE A VERY IMMORAL INDIVIDUAL
Denki: IS THAT A EUPHEMISM I SMELL
Ochako: IM HOLLERING SO LOUD THIS IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER CONVO
Katsuki: DONT TALK ABOUT DEKU LIKE THAT
Katsuki: ITS MAKING MY HEAD HURT WHAT THE FUCK THATS GROSS
Eijirou: don’t hide ur true self,,
Katsuki: FUCK OFF
Katsuki: I DONT WANT TO FUCKING THINK ABOUT DEKU HAVING A FAT FUCKING CRUSH ON FOUR EYES’ BROTHER
Izuku: KACCHAN ST OPP
Denki: okay but is literally no one going to talk about the fact that Todoroki is in the living room being a sad boi
Hanta: I think it’s real funny
Ashido: wildin’
Izuku: Todoroki is upset??? Why?? :(
Eijirou: I feel real bad for Todoroki man,
Denki: yeah fuck dude this is almost painful
Izuku: what????? Is he sick or something??? :((
Eijirou: I’m sweating rn
Tenya: The only thing I am truly curious about is why no one is talking about Midoriya liking my older brother.
Tenya: He is twelve years older than us.
Izuku: I’m sorry Iida, but he’s really handsome. It’s not my fault
Tenya: Why does it seem as if you are not being genuine?
Katsuki: BECAUSE HES AN IMMORAL PIECE OF SHIT
Katsuki: I BET YOU HAVE A FUCKING HARD ON FOR ALL MIGHT
Izuku: NOT REALLY
Izuku: I DUNNO WHY BUT HE SEEMS REALLY FATHERLY SINCE HE STARTED TEACHING US. PLUS I NEVER LIKED HIM LIKE THAT BEFORE
Katsuki: IM FUCKING CALLING UR BLUFF
Shouto: Midoriya I just think that you don’t like blonds
Izuku: TODOROKI!!!! :D YOU’RE BACK AND YOU’RE ALSO RIGHT!!!!!!!
Izuku: THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT INTO WORDS :DDD
Katsuki: TF U MEAN U DONT LIKE BLONDS
Katsuki: BLOND HAIR IS BETTER THAN GREEN HAIR WHAT THE FUC K
Kyouka: I’m screenshotting all of this
Izuku: alright, that’s fair
Izuku: Also Kacchan I’m sorry but your hair is kind of gross
Katsuki: W HAT. THE. FUCK. D. E. K. U.
Shouto: I feel a lot better now for some reason
Shouto: I have no idea why
Momo: Todoroki you’re not subtle at all
Izuku: What would he have to be subtle about???
Ochako: I’m choKING
Ochako: IIDA IS IN MY ROOM AND HES UPSET
Izuku: AW TELL HIM IM REALLY SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO ACTUALLY MAKE HIM UPSET
Katsuki: IM FUCKING UPSET
Izuku: okay.
Katsuki: FUCK YOU
Shouto: I’m feeling real good
Denki: I’m literally shitting my pants right now
Eijirou: that’s hot
Denki: thanks bro, I try
Ochako: Okay wait Deku, this is the last question. Do you think anyone of our age group is hot?
Izuku: ah,
Eijirou: CONDEMNED
Izuku: there’s a few????
Ochako: TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL MEEE PRETTY PLEASE
Shouto: I am intrigued
Momo: SELF LOVE TODOROKI WE TALKED ABOUT THIS
Shouto: that can wait for later
Izuku: Tetsutetsu, Juzo and Yosetsu from 1-B are all really handsome! Same with Yo Shindou and Yoarashi from the hero license tests!
Izuku: Hatsume from support is really pretty too! Tsunatori Pony and Kendou from 1-B are cute too :D
Shouto: I feel a visceral betrayal
Shouto: Yaoyorozu you were right
Ochako: No 1-A boys???? Or girls?????
Izuku: I just thought it would be weird to say over text!
Shouto: There’s a chance !
Ochako: that’s real cute
Eijirou: Literally such a good guy
Eijirou: Midoriya ur my favorite
Izuku: :D
Katsuki: Is everyone fucking forgetting the fact that he likes men 10+ years older than him
Eijirou: Bro we all have our vices
Ochako: don’t kinkshame Bakugou >:(
Katsuki: Literally I hate all of you so fucking much, especially you Deku
Katsuki: Tell me who the fuck you think is hot in 1-A and I might fucking forgive you
Eijirou: HIS STRATEGY REVEALS ITSELF
Denki: IM SHAKING HES LITERALLY NOT SLICK AT ALL
Denki: MIDORIYA BAKUGOU WANTS TO FUCKIN EAT UR DICK LOL
Katsuki: You’re going to die now.
Shouto: Bakugou I will kill you
Shouto: With my actual hands
Izuku: Haha no! I’m sure he just wants to know like the rest of you!
Izuku: Besides I don’t think Kacchan likes boys
Katsuki:
Shouto: I’ll kill you
Eijirou: I’m going to jump off the school roof because the secondhand embarrassment that’s coming from my phone screen is making me feel sick
Ochako: this was supposed to be fuNNY
Ochako: BUT INSTEAD ITS HILARIOUS
Izuku: KACCHAN DO U LIKE BOYS
Katsuki: It depends on who you find hot in 1-A
Shouto: I’m with Jirou and Momo and Jirou wants you to know that she thinks you’re as smooth as sandpaper
Katsuki: Tell earphone bitch to fuck off
Shouto: She said to tell you that she thinks you’re a bitch who can either put up or shut up
Shouto: 100% her words and not mine I promise
Izuku: uh, I think Iida is really handsome! And Kirishima you too! :D Everyone in 1-A is really handsome, it’s actually kind of intimidating
Izuku: And with the girls I think Tsuyu-chan is really cute! Ochako, you’re really pretty too! And Ashido is really beautiful!
Ashido: Literally im gonna give you a fat fuckin smooch at school tomorrow
Eijirou: oh my god Ilove you
Eijirou: this is such an honor
Eijirou: I want a medal
Ochako: I want you to know I literally teared up really hard right now and Iida says thank you too
Tsuyu: Thank you, that means a lot to me
Tsuyu: ribbit
Katsuki: Is it because of my hair
Denki: “babe I can change I promise”
Shouto: I’m hurting again
Izuku: Kacchan, you’re handsome too! I said everyone is handsome
Izuku: Okay except for you Todoroki
Shouto: Literally why though
Katsuki: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Ochako: FCK
Denki: IM SCREENSHOTTING
Izuku: Because you’re pretty! You’re more of a pretty boy! :D
Izuku: Oh no the message was late!
Izuku: Todoroki I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!
Izuku: Todoroki???
Izuku: Oh no! :0 I hope I really didn’t hurt his feelings :(
Eijirou: It’s alright dude he’ll be fine
Izuku: :(
Katsuki: okay but why am I not the hottest
Izuku: I think it might,, actually be the hair,,, maybe ,,
Katsuki: fuck you
Denki: u wish lol
Katsuki: If homicide was legal you would be fucking dead
Shouto: I’m back. I just wanted to say thank you a lot. Thankyou I like feeling pretty
Izuku: You’re the prettiest!
Shouto: you’re my best friend
Izuku: AWW
Eijirou: I’m crying alone in my dark ass room literally this has been the nicest ten minutes of my life because when Midoriya compliments you u know that it’s true
Izuku: :D
Eijirou: This whole conversation radiates pleasant feelings
Katsuki: I don’t feel good
Izuku: Aww Kacchan :( I really do think you’re handsome though!!
Katsuki: wow thanks nice to know I’m fucking ugly
Izuku: Kacchan no!
Katsuki: don’t lie to my fucking face Deku. Say i'm fucking ugly
Izuku: You’re not ugly!!!!
Shouto: You’re ugly
Izuku: you’re not ugly
Katsuki: tell my im fucking ugly or I’ll kill the electric asshole
Denki: WHAT DID I DO
Izuku: Kacchan! You’re not ugly! >:(
Shouto: you’re really ugly
Shouto: when you do the lip thing it makes my stomach hurt
Katsuki: Deku tell me I’m fucking ugly
Ochako: what’s h appening
Eijirou: I DONT. KNOW
Izuku: I don’t think that though!
Katsuki: THEN FUCKING LIE
Izuku: okay :(
Izuku: Kacchan you’re fucking ugly
Shouto: Wow. I feel the same way !
Katsuki:
Katsuki: I think I need to go to recovery girl
Izuku: Kacchan!!! I’m sorry!!!! You told me to!! :(((
Katsuki: don’t talk to me I’m ugly
Izuku: KACCHAN YOURE NOT FUCKING UGLY OH MY GOD
Izuku: STOP FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS IM FUCKING TURNING MY PHONE OFF IM SUCH OF THIS SHIT
Izuku: YOU GUYS BOTHER ME ABOUT THE GUYS I LIKE WHAT THE HELL THIS CONVERSATION WAS ONLY ABOUT MY TASTES FUCK. LITERALLY FUCK YOU GUYS WHAT THE HELL
Izuku: FUCK THIS IM GETTING FOOD
Izuku: IF YOU TEXT ME IM BLOCKING UR FUCKING NUMBERS
-Midoriya Izuku has left the group message!-
Ochako: OH NO
Shouto: Is it bad that I liked that
Katsuki: fuck
Fumikage: I took a single, one (1) hour long nap and I wake up to this
Fumikage: What a mad banquet of darkness
Eijirou: Look what we turned him into. He doesn’t deserve this.
Denki: I just like making fun of Bakugou this is literally all on you guys
Shouto: I’ll track him down, give me thirty minutes
Hitoshi: This is why Monoma hates 1-A
Kyouka: You either die a Midoriya or live long enough to see yourself become a Bakugou