Chapter Text
"This job isn't easy," All might admitted.
Izuku stared dumbfounded at his idol, or at least at what remained of him, hand placed against his mouth as he took in the horrible, horrible scar on the side of the hero's abdomen. It looked gruesome and bad and utterly gross, and for the first time since he said the words 'I want to be a hero', he was hit with the harsh reality of just what being a hero entailed. Dread curled in his stomach as he listened to All might's voice, filled with resignation and a bit of pity. He stared at him with those tired, shadowed eyes. It made Izuku sick.
"Pro-heroes are always having to risk their lives. Some villains just can't be beaten without powers," All might continued. "So no, I honestly don't think you can become a hero without a quirk."
Izuku could practically feel his heart shatter with those words. Just the fact that All might was reiterating the same sentiment that people had been pushing onto him all his life, finding out that everyone who mocked him was right-- it was painful.
"I... I see," he murmured.
"If you wanna help people, there are plenty other ways to do it. For example, you can become a police officer. They get crap because the heroes capture most of the villains, but it's a fine profession."
Izuku's ears were ringing. He just felt numb inside. He couldn't believe... couldn't believe his hero was saying all these things. Couldn't believe how he so easily tore him apart with every word. All might was already leaving, picking up the two bottles of soda where the captured villain was trapped, and then heading to the door. Izuku didn't stop him.
"It's not bad to have a dream, young man. Just... make sure it's attainable. Realistic."
That last word was like a knife in the gut. Izuku could feel all his hurt and pain and disappointment flooding out and forming into tears edging at the corner of his eyes, but a part of him didn't want to let go. A part of him wanted to cling to his dream, cling to hope-- they say anything is possible if you try hard enough, so why... why wouldn't that apply to him as well?
It's just unfair.
"A-All might!" he called out. The hero spared him a glance, the same pity that Izuku was starting to hate brimming in his stony expression. Izuku poured his heart out, wishing, hoping that he could change All might's mind. Not for the first time in his life, he craved validation. He just wanted one person, just one person to tell him it was possible.
"I really, really, really want to be a hero! It's my lifelong dream!" he insisted. "Rather than give up... shouldn't I strive to prove that it is possible to become a hero, even for someone quirkless like me? To give quirkless people the representation we deserve, too! If I work harder than everyone else... if I keep at it, I'm sure--"
All might's expression seemed hesitant, as if he was considering something. But in the end, he simply replied. "Young man, I refuse to see your body amongst the dead in the far future. Villains are more vicious than you give them credit for. The villain attacks you see in your everyday life? Those are merely thugs. Believe me when I say that the underground is far darker, far more dangerous than you imagine. That's the danger heroes fight everyday. It is not the kind of danger you will survive."
Izuku deflated. He bit his lip hard and looked away. He could hear All might's footsteps nearing him again, followed by the sound of puffing smoke that he figured was him transforming back into his buff persona. When he felt the warm hand against his shoulder, he stiffened, bracing himself for more harsh scolding.
The last thing he expected was a compliment.
"I do admire your drive and determination." Izuku hesitated and looked up, meeting his hero's gaze. All might smiled. "To me, you seem like an intelligent and sensible young man. I'm sure you understand my point, and why I feel like it is my duty to tell you this reality, albeit hard to swallow."
Even with a lump stuck in his throat, Izuku nodded. All might's expression softened.
"You are young. You will find other things you are passionate about. And I'm sure whatever path you take in the future, you will chase it with the same vigor you do when you were wanting to be a hero. Let me just offer you a piece of advice, something to keep close to your heart and mind: being a hero is not the only way to become a hero."
Izuku frowned, not quite understanding. All might laughed.
"Young people these days are very passionate about becoming heroes themselves, they tend to forget that society won't function without all the other professions that support it. You say that you've always thought saving and helping people was the coolest thing ever, did you not? Have you ever considered that there are many ways to do that without a hero license? Good doctors save countless lives everyday. Good lawyers protect innocents, good businessmen provide livelihoods, and so much more-- these people are the unrecognized heroes of our time. They receive no hero rankings or awards, but they keep at it regardless. Truly, they are admirable."
Izuku stared, unsure how to feel. Well, now that he thought about it, All might was right. But still, his dream--
"Perhaps becoming a hero was simply not your calling," All might concluded. "And there is no shame in that, young man."
Izuku cried himself to sleep that night.
He will certainly deny it, if anyone ever asked. Crying over a shattered dream that was unrealistic in the first place-- wasn't it kind of pathetic? Kacchan would mock him for it-- well, he already does.
That night, when he was lying on his bed and alone with his thoughts, nobody was around to judge him. That night he couldn't help it, his heart hurt, and it hurt so bad that he just had to let the pain take it's course, biting hard at a pillow to make sure he wouldn't worry his mother as he sobbed hard against his mattress. He couldn't help it-- he has always been a crybaby. Tears had just flowed until the utter exhaustion knocked him out.
That night, he decided he'd let himself cry. And in the morning, when he felt better, he promised himself that he'd pick up the pieces, one by one, and figure out what to do from now on.
The sky the next day was clear and blue, signalling a new morning. A new beginning. Izuku found it fitting. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and took a deep breath, hyperaware of his swollen eyelids, realizing that no-- he didn't feel quite ready to take on the world again just yet. He didn't feel ready to be picked on and mocked to his face that his dreams were stupid. He knew that already, dammit. All might already told him. No need to rub salt to the wound, not now-- now that he felt utterly lost and clueless, unsure how to proceed from this point.
That dream, to become a hero, was the only one he ever had, after all. In his haste to prove to himself that he could do it, in his determination to excel in that path, he had not allowed himself to dream of anything else. For someone so adept at quirk analysis and battle strategy, it was ironic to realize that he didn't even have a plan B.
Now that All might himself had opened his eyes and slapped him in the face with the cruelty of reality, now that his personal hero himself had confirmed that his dream will forever be beyond his reach-- Izuku was lost. He didn't know what he was supposed to do now. If he can't become a hero, what should he become? What other options are even out there? It was scary to venture somewhere outside his comfort zone, outside the only thing he ever knew. What could a quirkless, useless Deku like him even accomplish? He didn't know. All he knew was that deep inside him, the desire to save and help people still lingered.
Being a hero is not the only way to become a hero.
Determination replacing the hollow sadness inside him, Izuku immediately turned on his desktop, eager to start researching. There were so many other careers out there that was more applicable for a quirkless person like him, so many other career paths that he could take.
Someone knocked on his bedroom door, but he barely paid it any mind.
"Izuku, get up, breakfast is ready! You're going to be late for school," his mother said from the other side.
"I'm not going to class today, Mom! I... uh," he hesitated, not really comfortable with lying. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that in a way, it was not a lie at all. "I-I don't feel too well!"
That only made her worry. She slowly opened the door. "Oh no, Izuku-- did you catch a cold?"
"N-No! I..." Izuku hesitated. Inko looked confused as she took in his sorry state-- still in his pajamas, eyes bloodshot and swollen, hair a mess-- sitting in front of his computer. She frowned, walking close to place a hand on his shoulder as she peered at the screen. Izuku could practically feel his ears turning red in shame as his mother took in the tabs he had opened on his browser. She looked very concerned, if a little... relieved?
- Top Ten Jobs for The Quirkless
- What's the right career for you? Online Test
- How to make a Career Choice when you're Undecided
"... Izuku?" Inko asked hesitantly, the hand on his shoulder tightening faintly. Izuku swallowed hard as he anxiously played with the bottom of his shirt. Glancing to the side to avoid her gaze, his eyes landed on his old hero analysis notebooks that was placed carefully on the shelf. It made the edges of his eyes feel hot-- like he was going to burst into tears again. But he wouldn't. He has already cried enough.
"I... ah, I'm just-- thinking of options! Other options. If I don't get into the hero course, if I--" it's not even an 'if' anymore. Maybe if he had trained his body and muscles for years, he would have stood a chance. Maybe if he hadn't wasted his time writing all those analyses and fanboying over every hero he could find-- stupid. He was so stupid.
(He still had months before the entrance exam. He could start now. But no-- no, there's no point in getting his hopes up. Even with a stronger body, he'd still be quirkless. As inspiring as a quirkless hero sounded, it's simply not practical. If by any fluke he managed to graduate, he'd be a liability to his agency. He wouldn't be a powerful hero, much less a number one hero material.)
I'm so sorry, Izuku!
Ah, he should have listened to his mother back then. He was such a naive child. Ah, his heart still hurt. He sighed.
"Mom... I don't think I should apply to UA anymore."
Her green eyes widened. "But... but you said you wanted to be a hero."
Izuku clenched his fist. In his mind he chanted All might's words, using them like a mantra, a source of strength-- being a hero is not the only way to become a hero. He turned to face his mother, looking straight into her eyes, letting his conviction-- albeit still weak-- fuel his words.
"I do. I still want to be a hero. I'm not giving up on becoming a hero." Now, she just looked confused. He hesitated. "Just... maybe not the kind of hero who goes to fight the villains and gets hero ranks and stuff. I still want to help people, save people... but..." he was quirkless, but not useless. Even though he was powerless, he could do great things. He'll believe in it. All might said so. "Everyone wants to become a hero these days. But maybe that's why quirkless people like me exist. Someone has to do the other important stuff, you know? And it sucks that I can't be a hero, it sucks that I don't belong in UA. But I think... I'll manage. I'll find something else. Something else I can be a hero in. Maybe..." he gave her a shy smile. "Maybe even something less dangerous. I know you worry, mom."
Izuku expected a relieved sigh. A tearful hug. An approving smile. But for some reason, Inko only looked more worried. She studied his face carefully, and there was just so little Izuku could do to keep his tears from edging his eyelids again. Ah, this sucks. Ah, he really, really wished he had a quirk, after all. Ah, he wanted to be a hero. An actual hero. He wanted--
"What career paths... do you have in mind?" Inko asked, sitting down on the bed beside his chair. Izuku sniffed as he brushed his tears away with the back of his hand, trying to regain his composure.
"I'm thinking... a police officer. Or a doctor? I think my grades are good enough for it. A lawyer? Nurse? Ah, there's just so many options... I should write them down." Blindly, he reached for his bag, taking out a random notebook and a pen to write with. It just so happened that it was his hero analysis notebook, and as he flipped through the pages, he couldn't help but linger at the design of his costume. Oh... Oh no. His body trembled, wracked with uncontrollable sobs. Oh no.
"Izuku..." he had not seen his mom this sad since the day they came back from the quirk doctor. She was teary-eyed when she pulled him close into a hug. Izuku sobbed harder. "My baby, I'm so sorry. Things have been so hard for you... if only..." If only he hadn't been quirkless. "It's okay. It's okay, we'll figure this out, Izuku. It's okay..."
Izuku stared at the notebook, at the way his tears dropped onto the pages, blurring the ink. Unfair. Life was so unfair. Heroes were his passion, and yet it was a passion he could not pursue. His eyes read the schematics of the suit he was never going to wear, from the bunny-ish hood to the details of the boots. Now that he thought about it, it was silly that he never thought to add more support items. It just goes to show how deluded he was in his own abilities. He didn't even try to make up for all that he lacked.
Not that it mattered-- relying only on support items was a no go. So many things could go wrong, and the items themselves could malfunction, especially with the way the Hero Support industry was like these days. Good support technicians are few and far between. He would hate them to have to waste their time on a quirkless wannabe-hero like him, when they could be helping someone else.
It must be nice, Izuku mused, to have heroes depend on you. It must also feel like you're a hero, too. Helping them save lives, if only indirectly. It must be... nice.
Izuku paused, reaching an epiphany.
No... No, no-- that's a stupid idea. He wasn't... no. He wasn't smart enough for that. Or was he? Maybe. But it's so sudden... Izuku had never considered it before. He did not even know the most basic things about electronics and invention. Not more than what they learn in school anyway. Can he...? No. No, he's not... But...
(There's still months before the entrance exams. He could learn.)
He glanced at the hero analysis notebooks on his shelf. He remembered writing everything he could learn about a hero's quirk, their strengths and weaknesses. More than once, he remembered thinking of ways they could improve around their weak areas, how they could have used support items to achieve it...
He suddenly stood up, the idea in his mind becoming more and more concrete. It was comforting. His mother yelped in surprise, and he shot her an apologetic look, even as his hands were already flying over the keyboard, looking up the schools that offer such a course. Funny enough, UA was still at the top of the list. UA was still his first choice, after all.
This is it, he realized. If he couldn't become a hero, it's the next best thing. He will be a hero in his own right, someone who helps behind the scenes. Someone heroes could depend on.
"Mom..." he clenched his fist, determined. "I think I figured it out."
This is... my path forward.