Actions

Work Header

Do Not Mess With the Duo

Summary:

What if duolingo was a villain and people missed their lessons?

A random idea from discord lol

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

1. Yaoyorozu's French

Yaoyorozu decided very early that this was not her day. She sighed, organizing papers on her desk. She hadn’t gotten much sleep yesterday night, she had been up studying french.

Yaoyorozu originally decided to learn French for Aoyama, since at times, when he was panicked, he would speak in French. She got the help of a few apps, such as Duolingo to help her with her adventure.

She asked Aoyama for a few pointers, “So instead for saying ‘desirez-vous’ I should say ‘voulez-vous’?”

“Yeah, basically.” Aoyama replied, “Thank you for trying to learn my language, mademoiselle!”

Yaoyorozu merely smiled, “Anytime.”

When Yaoyorozu was walking to the store, she got a notification.

French or trench

Yaoyorozu paused and took a look around. Duolingo was just spouting nonsense again, truly nothing had happened.

She kept walking until, “Ow,” Yaoyorozu tripped. “That was weird… That rock was there a minute ago…”

She was really starting to feel creeped out. There were goosebumps on her arm appearing and her breath was speeding up.

“Yaomomo…”

That’s my username on Duolingo! Is he-

Suddenly an owl hooted while Yaoyorozu was suddenly wrapped in green feathers. Her eyes were covered another green feather and she felt herself being carried.

Where am I going? Did he take my phone… who is this??

Suddenly the feather was ripped off causing Yaoyorozu to see a trench. “Oh no…”

French or trench.”

Yaoyorozu thought one thing before she was thrown in, Duolingo.


2. Mineta's Spanish

Mineta comes from a Spanish household, so he had to learn Spanish.

It was required.

“Ahora, digame, qué significa ‘frutas,’ Minoru?” His mom asked.

Mineta stared at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “No sé.”

His mom chuckled, “I guess it’s Duolingo time.”

Mineta’s eyes widened, “No, you can’t!”

“Mineta Minoru, it’s Duolingo time.”

Mineta had ran to the park. There was no way he was doing Duolingo. He sadly sat on the swing all alone, debating his life choices until.

“Té voy a matar a ti y tú familia,” Someone said.

All Mineta understood was ‘tú’. “Yo? What?”

“I want to hear you beg for your life in spanish, hoot,” The creepy thing said as it advanced towards Mineta.

Mineta was terrified and confused. Who was this ripoff villain Hawks? Until a wave of realization hit him.

Green feathers? Spanish? Oh lord it was Duolingo.

“No, no, please-”

Mineta threw balls that Duolingo phased through.

“No, no, stay away-!”

Spanish or vanish, hoot,” Duolingo shoved Mineta into a portal.


3. Kaminari's Russian

Kaminari loved learning languages, he picked up on them pretty easily. So when he started learning russian, he didn’t think it’d be so difficult. He just had a natural grasp on languages.

So Kaminari downloaded Duolingo. It could serve as a good refresher to his memory.

Unfortunately, Kaminari had gotten detention for failing a math class. In his defense, math makes no sense. Who thought that adding letters would be a good idea? Math was supposed to be just numbers, and numbers alone made Kaminari’s head spin.

Needless to say, he missed his Duolingo lesson. 

That didn’t seem like a big deal though. There were bigger things to worry about, like the recent kidnapping of Yaoyorozu and Mineta. It was clear that someone was attacking their class. That’s why they wanted everyone on top condition, and also why Kaminari got detention.

Because he wandered off.

Aizawa was dead tired and done with his class. Two of the members kidnapped, and more are failing, and one of them still thinks it’s a good idea to wander off without teachers, “Kaminari, I need you to understand that-”

And Kaminari zoned out. Was he supposed to be paying attention? Whoops.

With that out of the way, Kaminari was walking back to the dorm when something suddenly banged into his head.

His vision instantly went blurry and he fell to the ground harshly. He looked up to see who had done this and it was a green owl.

Hoot, Russian or concussion.”


4. Aoyama's Japanese

Aoyama was from France, that meant he had to quickly learn Japanese. And unfortunately, that meant using Duolingo as a refresher.

Aoyama hasn’t attended his Duolingo classes since arriving as UA, however. His Japanese quickly ascended to above average and now he was fine. He didn’t need Duo.

But apparently the bird standing before him needs him.

Or more specifically, something from him.

“What do you want from me?!” Fear shook Aoyama to his core.

“I need your nico nico kneecaps,” Duolingo said, “Hand them over.”

“That’s impossible!” Aoyama gasped. He couldn’t just remove his kneecaps! He was a hero student not a surgeon!

“Then I break your nico nico knees.”

“No, please! Spare me!”

Japanese or I break your nico nico knees.”


5. Todoroki's English

Todoroki sucked at English, basically. He won’t sugar coat it, he just sucks. The native English speaker in their class, Kaminari, even admitted he couldn’t help Todoroki.

So Todoroki had to find external sources.

He asked Endeavor, unfortunately.

Endeavor just said, “I’ll download Duolingo and see if I can help you.”

So Endeavor downloaded Duolingo, and quickly, he missed a few lessons.

Endeavor was out on patrol when suddenly a fire extinguisher appeared.

Walking towards it, a small green owl appeared which he quickly realized was the logo for Duolingo.

“You missed your lessons today,” He said in Japanese, they switched to English, “English or extinguish.”

Endeavor let out an angry roar, but suddenly his flames vanished and he was covered in a foamy white substance.

Fuck Duolingo.


+1: English Accomplished

“It was the fucking Duolingo bird,” Endeavor said, “He’s a villain.”

Aizawa looked at Endeavor skeptically, “Duolingo?”

“Aizawa-sensei, Kaminari woke up,” Todoroki said, “He’s asking for you.”

Aizawa walked into Recovery Girl’s office, and greeted Kaminari, “Kaminari—”

Kaminari’s eyes were wide and his breathing shaky, “I—It was D—Duolingo—” He gripped the white sheets around him tightly. “He—” Kaminari gulped, composing himself before saying, “I was w—walking back from the dorms and—”

Aizawa was confused, who the hell was Duolingo?

“He, he appeared, and— and he—” Kaminari stuttered, “H—he had a f—fire extinguisher!”

Endeavor’s eyes widened, “He sprayed me with it!”

“You mean we’re discussing an actual villain?” Aizawa asked.

Kaminari rapidly nodded, “I— I was competing i—in Duolingo l—lessons with Y—Yaomomo—”

“What language was she doing?” Tsukauchi entered, asking, “That could give us a hint to her location.”

“French.”

“Oh no.”

Midoriya came to check on Kaminari, and he saw Aizawa, Tsukauchi, Todoroki and Endeavor, “What’s going on?”

“Duolingo,” Kaminari sounded haunted.

Midoriya gaped, “No, you didn’t skip a lesson, did you?”

“R—Russian,” Kaminari gasped, he started sobbing.

“Oh my god, you got a concussion, didn’t you?”

“Midoriya, do you have experience with Duolingo?” Aizawa asked.

Midoriya quickly nodded, “Spanish, French, English and Japanese.” He added, “I missed lessons in all of them before I deleted Duolingo—”

Endeavor started at the short boy, “Your classmates that went missing were doing French and Spanish.”

Midoriya gasped, “Oh, no— oh nonono—” He asked, “Who got Spanish?”

“Mineta.”

“He’s gone, we can’t get him back,” Midoriya said, “He’s floating through the multiverse, he’s beyond our grasp. But Yaoyorozu might be in a trench—”

Aizawa gulped 5 cups of coffee in less than a minute, “I’m to tired for this shit. Problem child, explain.”

“If you miss Duolingo lessons, Duo attacks you,” Midoriya stated, “The only way you can get away is by appeasing his commands.”

Kaminari shuddered, “Those who get taken, they’re fucked.”

Endeavor cursed, “Fuck Duolingo.”


They looked everywhere for Yaoyorozu, it's been months and they haven't been able to find her.

Until Midoriya suggested, "The only way to get Duo out is by missing a lesson-"

Kaminari quickly exclaimed, "No! We can't lose you too!"

"You weakass fuckers, just fucking cook Duolingo," Bakugo sneered.

"He carries around a fire extinguisher as a weapon," Todoroki deadpanned, "How would we cook him?"

"A fucking fire extinguisher?" Bakugo asked, "The fuck?"

All of Class 1-A was huddled in the common room, plotting how to murder Duolingo.

"Use Kami's electricity!" Ashido howled, "Cook him with that!"

"Kaminari would just get another concussion!" Uraraka argued.

"Okay but is no one going to ask why the fuck there's a green bird flying around with a fucking fire extinguisher?" Shinsou asked, "Like, is this bird on crack?"

Asui said, "If Duolingo hunts down anyone that hasn't completed their lessons then all those missing people cases belong to Duolingo?"

"We defeated the LOV," Bakugo scowled, "Why can't we defeat a motherfucking bird?"

"Because he has the fire extinguisher!" Sero said, "We need to get it away somehow."

Midoriya lit up like a lightbulb, "Bakugo can explode it if we get close to it!"

Aizawa walked into the room, "What is going on here?"

Class 1-A stared at him, "We can defeat Duolingo."

Aizawa has never felt prouder of his students.


"Hoot," The sound resounded through the area, sending shivers up everyone's spines, "Deku784, you haven't finished your English lesson."

Suddenly tape wrapped around Duolingo, and the lights were shut off. Duolingo looked around, "Who's there, hoot?"

"It's me," Midoriya said in perfect English. His eyes were glowing a radioactive green, "Tell me, where is Yaoyorozu Momo?"

Duolingo scowled, "Hoot! I refuse to tell you!"

Midoriya slapped Duolingo, "I'll make you beg for your life in Spanish, Duo. Where is Yaoyorozu?"

"You'll never get her back!" Duo spat, "Let me go, imbecile!"

"Listen up, you mother fucking bubble guppie hawks fusion ripoff," Bakugo came in, a fire extinguisher in his hands, "You will tell us where Yaoyorozu is."

"Or what?" Duolingo challenged.

"Ah, ah, ah," Midoriya smiled sweetly, "English or extinguish."

They whacked Duolingo with the fire extinguisher.

They found Yaoyorozu by the end of the week.

Notes:

I spent an hour writing this, lord end me. Those who thought of this idea, thank you, my writing skills were blessed, It is 3am, and I'm tired, I'll edit this later. Thanks for reading!

Also the peeps I got this idea from are on SilverMistAnimeLover's server.

Series this work belongs to: