Comment on A Study From Stripes (teach me to be loved again)

  1. MidnighttWriter on Chapter 2 Mon 23 May 2022 10:31PM UTC

    I cannot begin to express to you how much your comment meant to me. I really tried my hardest with the first chapter and trying to describe the experience was honestly cathartic. Any time I had tried to explain the experiences I have to other people it always came out rather confusing and vague so it was very helpful to figure it out. I had only ever seen it portrayed a few times in fanfiction and when I did I just knew I wanted to write it.
    My usage of Dazai in this fic was particular because of the way their traumas mix like oil and water. And while I love me some good mentor! Dazai with a side of hurt/comfort I also love the angst that can also follow. I really want to write a fic about the situation with Dazai and Atsushi where he hit him but from Dazai's point of view. I mean he's tried so hard to change his ways and the way that he interacts with Atsushi vs how he interacted with Akutagawa but in the moment it mattered most he fell back on his own habits. Just imagine that night when Dazai's alone with his thoughts and thinking through the day and how badly he fucked up. I'll probably get to that after this fic
    Atsushi's fear of abandonment and failure will be an ongoing theme in this fic. I also really struggle with black and white thinking when it comes to looking at the world so my experiences helped me write this. Honestly, that is just an ongoing theme with this fic, my own life experiences have shaped the way this fic was written and I'm glad that someone else was able to relate as well. Well not relate as in I'm glad you relate to the symptoms shown but relate as in you can see yourself in this character. You know what I mean
    I'm not great at expressing emotions sometimes so I just hope that my excitement from our comment is coming through. When I saw it I instantly texted all my friends to tell them what an amazing comment I got and how excited it made me. So thank you. And I hope the rest of the fic can live up to the first two chapters. Make sure to get some water and look away from your screen if you've been on it for too long and have an amazing day <3

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