Comment on Painting Stars

  1. Signal792 on Chapter 3 Sun 07 Jan 2024 05:39AM UTC

    Woohoo! +7k words in this chapter alone, I've been waiting for this! I haven't read it yet, just wanted to put this out right away before starting.

    Edit: now that I've read it... To be honest, I have no words, I just know that I want to see more new chapters of this. Well... I suppose one minor criticism I'd like to point out is the way Applejack's dialogue was written. You could just spell her words normally and it's up to the readers to do the accent, right?

    Last Edited Sun 07 Jan 2024 10:50AM UTC

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    1. GrimDrago on Chapter 3 Sun 07 Jan 2024 10:38PM UTC

      I was going to point that out too. Especially considering that Applejack wasn't written so clichéd in the earlier two chapters when she talked.

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    2. Hanatawo on Chapter 3 Sun 07 Jan 2024 11:56PM UTC

      Thank you so much for reading! I felt like I had to get the ball rolling and start putting my everything into every chapter from here on out. It was so fun writing the Guitar Hero scene!

      As for AJ, there's a few reasons why I wrote it like that. I felt that with so many characters, her having unique dialogue helps stand her out and lets the reader immediately know who's speaking rather than having to assume or reread. It also makes writing her scenes more fun for me since it's a mini challenge. My editors liked it so I kept the idea for this chapter.

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      1. Signal792 on Chapter 3 Tue 09 Jan 2024 02:52AM UTC

        It also makes writing her scenes more fun for me since it's a mini challenge. My editors liked it so I kept the idea for this chapter.

        That's actually nice to hear, I'm just a bit concerned that it might be a little distracting to read.

        Just make sure you keep your work/writing process enjoyable, try to avoid getting burned out. This chapter really was fun, especially with the other friends/cast of either group and their reactions.

        Speaking of Guitar Hero, how about the game Thumper; I imagine Mordecai getting injured thumbs from it (assuming he plays with a console controller) and Twilight really appreciating the game for incorporating unusual rhythms, maybe even nerd out about it, especially with the story behind the game's development and the devs' history with other rhythm games (like Guitar Hero).

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        1. Hanatawo on Chapter 3 Sat 13 Jan 2024 08:31AM UTC

          I don’t plan for AJ to have as many huge monologues as she did in this chapter luckily, so I don’t think that’ll be an issue. Hopefully anyways, like I said it was written that way to have her stand out.

          Oh for sure. That’s happened to some of my other writing but luckily my editors help a bunch with the creative process and how to structure the skeleton so I’m not as stressed.

          Ohh I’ll have to check it out then! No spoilers but I was planning for Mordo to play some console games with Twi, like Minecraft or one of the games in RS canon.

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