Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A mysterious figure stood in a black void, he was looking at multiple screens. The first screen shows a bunch of people trying their best to contain some strange monsters, extracting energy from them. Then a blue-haired female robot decided to use that extracted energy to make a library.

The second screen shows what happened inside the facility, which focused on the people working. They cried and suffer a lot due to the monsters, one girl with pink hair cried at the loss of her two friends.

(A/N): I know what you're saying, yes I'm aware of the non-binary pronouns of the characters in Wonderlab, but screw it! For my sake and any others' reasonable sake, they'll have regular pronouns to avoid drama, period. No questions asked.

The third screen shows, a black-suited man entering the library, interacting with the residents of the library, especially with the blue-haired female robot.

The fourth screen shows, four people dealing with former humans turned into monsters while solving mysteries.

The fifth screen shows, a broken red-eye warrior fighting through a terrorist building along with his companion.

The final screen, shows the red-eyed warrior again, this time he's accompanying 12 people joined by a person with a clock for a head that is on fire. They're on a bus driving somewhere, with a young girl driving it.

All of these people went through so much, and yet they continued on surprising him where even in the darkest pits they still rise.

"Perhaps it's time to bring them in. Let's see, how they like it to witness alternate realities where some are similar to the City while others are considered people." said the black figure, before snapping his fingers.

The Library...

Roland was just by himself, sitting at a table writing a book.

"Hmm, I wonder what I should write next?" wondered Roland cupping his chin.

Before he can do anything, he was then engulfed by a bright light. It died down revealing Roland was gone, leaving behind the book. Angela then came into Roland's room, to check up on him.

"Roland are you there-" Angela stopped herself and saw Roland is gone, "Roland where did you go?"

Just like with Roland, the light took her away as well. The same thing is happening all over the Library, Malkuth is listing down the books they have before vanishing. Yesod ordered the librarians on his floor to organize some books before vanishing. Netzach is laying on a pile of books, drinking his beer before vanishing. Hod was having therapy sessions with her librarians, before vanishing surprising them. Tiphereth is putting some books on the shelves, before vanishing causing the book she had to float in the air, to fall down on the floor. Gebura is training on her floor before she vanished. Chesed is preparing some coffee for everyone before he vanished. Hokma is reading a book before vanishing. And finally, Binah who is sitting on a chair, calmly drinking tea, before vanishing.

All the librarians in the Library are panicking, and all of the Head Librarians disappear.

The Library is not the only thing, facing this crisis...

Somewhere in the Backstreets...

A bunch of people is walking through some streets.

"Oh god, that was so stressful!" exclaimed Taii.

"C'mon it's not that bad." said Flower, trying to lighten up the situation.

"That cat really ruffled me up! It keeps on running away from us, it got worse whenever we caught it give us scratches to no end!"

"To be honest that cat, is truly a monster, I'm surprised it's not an Abnormality that got escape from L Corp." said Finn.

"Look how about we just go back to the Office and relax for a while, okay?" suggested Ella, they just hope they don't encounter some gangs or Syndicate members.

"Fine, plus we need some more energy if we ever go back to Wonderland again to find her." said Taii, recalling back on an old friend.

They reach the Bloom Office and were about to enter before a bright light engulfed them completely. After it died down, they vanished.

Unknown location...

"Detective are you sure it's there?" whispered Ezra, as they were in a corner along with Vespa and YuRia.

"I'm quite sure, this is the 3rd Abnormality that we encounter this week." said Moses with her pipe, in her hand.

"Then let's get it!" yelled out Ezra.

Vespa quickly clamped the girl's mouth, "Quiet do you want us to get killed?" He glared at her.

"Knowing how unpredictable they are, we might meet our last. Shame I can't see what it do." said YuRia.

"Be prepared." said Moses, preparing her pipe, ready to engage the unknown Abnormality, "And Ezra, I'm cutting your pay."

This caused the blonde-haired to let out comically muffled cries in Vespa's hand making him sigh. Before they can do anything, they we're engulfed by a bright light, making them vanish from their spot. The mysterious Abnormality turned to the source and saw nothing making itself tilt its head in confusion.

On a bus...

Dante is just staring deep into the bus window, it's been a few weeks after the fight with Kromer. He turned to the inside of the bus, and saw the usual things happening, Charon is just humming a tune while driving. Vergilius has his arms crossed with his eyes closed, in deep thought, of course, that doesn't mean his guard is down and still watches over the Sinners. The Sinners are just socializing and Sinclair gets over his trauma.

"Why do I have a strange feeling, something will happen today?" asked Dante himself.

"Hey managed bud, is something bothering ya?" asked Gregor.

Before he managed an answer, he was engulfed by light, vanishing from them shocking the Sinners including Vegilius.

"The hell?!" exclaimed Heathcliff.

"Where did Sir Manager go?" asked Don looking around.

Panic began to erupt among the bus.

"Calm down all of you." said Vegilius standing up, "Whatever's happening we can figure it out."

"Still what happened to our Manager?" aksed Outis.

"Did W Corp do this?" asked Sinclair, getting concerned for his manager.

"Faust senses this is not the work of W Corp." said Faust.

"She is right, this seems the work of another force." said Yi Sang.

"Then who did it?" asked Rodya.

Before they can answer they too get taken away by the light shocking them again.

"The light has taken them away as well!" said Heathcliff.

One by one, all the sinners vanished leaving behind Sinclair, who got nervous before getting taken away. Vergilius narrowed his eyes on this as his eyes turned red.

"Charon stops the bus." said Vergilius.

"Okay, Charon stop-stop." said the bus driver girl.

"*sigh* Looks like I have to contact the high officials for this." said Vergilius, "Whoever's doing this will surely get what's coming to them."

The Red Gaze pulled out a phone and was about to call his superiors until Charon got taken away from the light shocking him greatly, and forcing him to drop the phone.

"Charon!" yelled out Vergilius.

Just like with the others, he too is taken away by the light, leaving behind the bus.

Those who got taken away by the light will witness something, that will change their lives...

You guys can suggest some ideas...

Chapter Text

In a mysterious large theater room, surrounded by many chairs accompanied by a large screen, a flash of light came and it showed all the four groups of the City. All of them are immediately confused and slightly panicked.

"Shit, where the hell did we end up?!" exclaimed Roland.

"I'm not sure Roland, this does not seem to be connected to the Library's power." said Angela.

"Why are we brought here in the first place?" asked Malkuth.

"That... I cannot answer." said the blue-haired robot, shaking her head.

"Whatever it is, we're not alone here." said Yesod, pointing towards the other group.

They saw Heathcliff coming towards them with his usual aggressiveness.

"Oi, did you bring us here in this weird place?" demanded Heathcliff.

"Woah calm down, all of us are just as confused as you are." said Roland trying to reason with the aggressive man.

"You better be telling the truth, 'cause you'll answer to my bat." said the delinquent patting his bat.

Dante and Sinclair quickly came up to their 'ally', trying to calm him down.

"Stand down, Heathcliff!" said Dante.

"Dante's right! We're not here to cause trouble." said Sinclair.

"Is that a living clock?" asked Tiphereth in bewilderment.

Gregor quickly comes to Roland's group, "Heheh sorry about our friend here, he's always aggro."

"We notice." said Hokma.

"It's like if Gebura's aggressiveness got extracted." commented Netzach, quietly.

"I can hear that, you drunken fool." said Gebura glaring at him.

This made the drunkard flinch a bit. Rodya then questioned them.

"So all of you got taken here to this strange place?" asked the gambler.

"I'm afraid so, all of us suddenly got taken away from the Library." answered Hod.

"Library..." said Ishmael, as that felt familiar to her, "Wait a second, you guys are from the Library?! The one that took people away and turned them into books!"

The Sinners were shocked to hear that, as they remember the Library from the City.

"Faust did remember that peculiar 'Star of the City' threat, that got banished to the Outskirts for being too dangerous." said Faust.

"So your gonna start your whole book crusade again huh?" asked Heathcliff ready to fight.

"Hmph, I always wanted to challenge the Library." said Ryoshu preparing her sword.

"Of course not! We're done with that entire thing!" said Tiphereth.

Things are getting escalated a bit too intensely before a certain red gaze and a bus driver girl came in.

"All of you calm down." said Vergilius in a serious tone, causing Heathcliff to freeze as he let out 'tch' before calming down along with some Sinners, "I apologize for some of my subordinates' aggressive actions."

"At least, he cool down his head." said Chesed.

"Hold on the minute, your Vergilius the Red Gaze!" exclaimed Roland.

"You know him Roland?" asked Angela.

"Yeah, he's a Colored Fixer, like me, and a super strong one like Gebura."

The Red Gaze turned to Roland and Gebura, "So the Black Silence and the Red Mist have been taken away as well?"

"Holy shit, those two guys are Colored Fixers!" said Gregor.

"Ooh, I always admired the heroic feats of the Red Mist!" awed Don, with stars in her eyes.

"Great, another one like Myo." thought Gebura in annoyance.

"So Vergilius how are you doing?" asked Roland.

"Doing fine, just watching over a bunch of fools. Still rampaging around the City, killing Syndicates and Offices again?" asked Vergilius.

Roland just let out a nervous laugh, "Eh not exactly, I've moved past that now, just wanting to make a book."

"Then, lucky you that you're trying a new hobby now..."

"Is that one of the former Arbiters?!" exclaimed Sinclair, towards Binah.

"Hoh, your aware of me boy?" asked Binah with her mysterious smile.

"Jeez, you guys are powerhouses having a Color Fixer and Arbiter working for you." said Rodya commenting.

"We get that a lot though." said Chesed chuckling, "Don't worry Binah won't hurt us anymore unless you want to get on her bad side."

"Yeah not risking it."

"Want to see it, girl?" asked Binah mischievously.

"Not thanks!"

Dante is getting confused with this whole ordeal, like other colored Fixers like Vergilius, and an Arbiter. Things are giving him a headache.

"Ms. Angela is that you?" asked Taii, as she and her friends approach her group.

"Taii, your here." said Angela in surprise.

"That's right, we haven't seen you for a long time after L Corp fall during the 'White Nights and Dark Days' incident." said Taii.

"What happened to you and the other Sephirahs after it fell?" asked Finn.

"It's... a long story." sighed Angela.

"So, uh, do you know them?" asked Gregor curiously.

"Yes, you could say they're former employees who work at L. Corp." 

"Former employees..." thought Gregor, looking at them reminding him of a familiar red-haired girl with an eyepatch.

"Still we glad that some personnel made it safe, after that incident." said Malkuth with a smile.

"Hehe, thanks Malkuth." said Flower.

"So, even three strong Colored Fixers got taken here as well?" said a voice.

They saw Moses and her group approaching.

Taii let out a gasp, "You're the Distortion Detective!"

Moses nods.

"I heard of the Distortion Detective, how you can prevent people from turning into Distortions." said Sinclair.

"Really? Now that's a useful ability." said Ella.

"Faust admits, your work is impressive and has exceeded your career." said Faust, recalling Moses' duty.

"Thank you for your compliment." said Moses, bowing.

"Is that a teddy bear?" asked Dante in bewilderment.

"That's right clock man." responded YuRia.

"A talking teddy bear/A talking teddy bear!" exclaimed Dante and Roland.

"Says the sentient clock." said YuRia, shooting back to Dante.

"Touche."

"Sides surely you've seen strange things besides me talking."

"Well I did fight a teddy bear before, in the library." said Roland, rubbing his head.

"One of the Taboo hunters of N Corp, has been taken in, huh?" asked Vergilius.

Sinclair froze hearing that, anything N Corp still triggered him after Kromer, Rodya patted him on the shoulder to calm him down.

"Former hunter, Red Gaze." said Vespa, staring back at Vergilius, "Due to some of my actions, I have been expelled from N Corp and how I will get back is my reasons alone."

"Then you better hope those reasons can get you back on track." said Vergilius before walking away.

"So, uh, now that we sorta introduced one another. Does anyone know why we're here in the first place?" asked Finn.

"From what, I gathered a strange light took all of us. I assume this happened to you all?" asked Moses.

"Yes a huge light in fact, while we were on the bus." said Outis.

"Charon missed Mephi." said Charon sadly.

"Same for the Library." added Hokma.

"Us too." said Flower.

"It's pretty obvious W Corp is not the one to do this, I mean it's pretty strange for them to gather peculiar people here." said Ishmael.

"It could be a Syndicate." added Ezra.

"Or an Abnormality's doing." said Angela.

"Hey guys!" called out Roland, turning their attention to him, "Think it has to do with this large TV screen."

"What does a TV screen have to do with anything?" asked Yesod.

Before anyone can answer, a new voice has been answered.

"Testing... Testing... Is this thing on?" asked the voice.

"Um, who said that?" asked Hong Lu.

"I did, rich boy." said the voice, surprising him.

"So I can assume, you're the one who brought us all in this place, correct?" asked Moses, narrowing her eyes.

"Correcto! Ms. Distortion Detective!"

"Then why brought us here, in the first place? You're here to kill us?" asked Angela.

"Whaaat? Of course not! All of you are here to watch!" said the voice happily.

This shocked all of them.

"You mean to tell me, you gathered all of us just to watch!" said Heathcliff angrily.

"Yes." 

"But why, sir voice?" asked Don.

"Well let's just say all of you deserve it, after suffering a lot. Yes I know all of your histories and I mean all of them." said the voice in a serious tone.

This shocked all of them again since their mysterious captor knows all of their lives.

"But I'm not here to spout secrets. You see this peculiar TV screen shows alternate realities, worlds that have different cultures with some peaceful or chaotic."

"Interesting device that shows alternate worlds." said YuRia.

"Almost like the mirror." said Hong Su.

"So we're just gonna watch this peculiar world about its people?" asked Vergilius.

"Yes, trust me, all of you will learn something from the perspective of these people in different worlds, heck you might relate yourselves to them and share a connection. So what do you say, are you ready to watch?" asked the voice.

All of them are silent for a bit, before responding.

"Very well, let's see what this worlds about." said Vespa.

"Faust is interested to see what type of world it is." said Faust.

"As long it's interesting then, I'm good." said Roland.

"Heh, hopefully, there's action in it." said Heathcliff with a smirk.

"Then let's start! Our first story starts with two particular teams of high-tech soldiers..."

Chapter Text

As soon as all of them took their seats, the screen boots up and began to play.

(Song: "The Blood Gulch Blues")

The screen shows 4 groups of soldiers called the Red team, with an orange soldier riding a military vehicle.

"So these are the high-tech soldiers that the voice told about right?" asked Ishmael.

"It seems so." said Yesod.

"This song seems kinda catchy." commented Roland.

"I kinda dig it." said Rodya.

"Red vs Blue? It seems that there are two opposite teams based on those colors." said Yi Sang.

"And these soldiers seem to be the red team." said Gebura.

The intro song, keeps on continuing revealing more characters like Lopez, Doc, and finally Vic. The intro revealed some action sequences between the two teams, before revealing the title card: "Red vs Blue".

The first episode is called: "Why Are We Here?"

The episode begins showing Grid and Simmons standing on their base.

Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah?

Simmons: You ever wonder why we’re here?

Grif: It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.

"Woah that seems kinda, heavy." said Sinclair, taken back by what Grif said.

"It is one of life's mysterious questions, that we still need to answer." said Binah.

Both stare at each other in silence.

Simmons: ...What?! I mean why are we out here, in this canyon?

Grif: Oh. Uh... yeah.

Simmons: What was all that stuff about God?

Grif: Uh...hm? Nothing.

Simmons: You wanna talk about it?

Grif: No.

Simmons: You sure?

Grif: Yeah.

Some of them laugh at their interactions.

"I already take a liking to these two." said Rodya in amusement.

"Grif seems to be sensitive though, but refuses to admit it." said Netzach with a smile.

Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.

Grif: Mm hmm.

Simmons: The only reason that we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here.

Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.

Simmons: No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo.

Grif: What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.

"Wait aliens exist!" said Taii in shock.

"That's not possible, they do not exist." said Yesod crossing his arms.

"Um, you do know that we fought monsters created from people's emotions right? And some got transformed into one themselves." pointed out Roland.

"He has a point, Yesod." said Hod.

"Don't forget about alternate worlds, my friend." said Chesed

Yesod just remains silent.

"Whoever this 'Master Chief', they seemed to be a great warrior and a hero!" awed Don.

"They did mention, he took down an entire alien armada, which is impressive." said Moses.

"He could be a possible, Grade 1 Fixer." said Gebura, taking a breath from her cigarette.

Zoom in on two soldiers watching Grif and Simmons from atop a cliff, one wielding a sniper rifle and in cobalt armor, Church, the other standing behind him in aqua armor, Tucker.

Tucker: What're they doing?

"And now we're in the Blue Team's perspective." said Ezra.

Church slowly turns around to face Tucker, lowering his rifle.

Church: (aggravated) What?

Tucker: I said, "What are they doing now?"

Church: (frustrated) God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!

"I know, how he feels when answering too many annoying questions." sighed Vergilius, staring at the Sinners, particularly Don.

Don sweats nervously.

Tucker: (defensively) You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick.

"You don't have to be vulgar about it." said Ishamael, the way Tucker rambled is similar to Heathcliff's rants.

Church: (interrupting) Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? (getting angry) That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, “What are they doing?” my answer's gonna be, “They’re still just talking, and they're still just standing there!”

Both fall silent.

"Someone has some pent-up anger inside of them." said Gregor.

"Heh, just like our angry baseball bat hitter." chuckled Rodya.

"What did you say, you gambling bitch?" growled Heathcliff.

Tucker: ...What're they talking about?

Church: ...You know what? I fucking hate you.

"Such friendship, they have there." said Roland chuckling a bit, kinda reminds him of his time with Olivier.

"It seems Church has his hands full right now, in dealing his own idiots." said Vergilius.

Cut back to Grif and Simmons.

Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life... you know, fight them.

Simmons: Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge.

"I highly doubt on whoever is their higher-ups, will put them in charge." said Outis.

"Their attitude is self-explanatory." said Hokma.

Cut to a low angle shot of a soldier in red armor, Sarge, who is seen looking up at Simmons and Grif.

Sarge: Ladies, front and center on the double!

Simmons: Fuck.

Grif: Yes, sir!

"And it seems their boss, has appeared now." said Vespa.

"Let's see how he deals with his troops, hopefully not screw it up." said Dante.

"He better be a good leader, just like with our manager." said Outis.

To be continued...

Chapter Text

The episode begins and it's called: "Red Gets a Delivery"

Pan out on Grif and Simmons, who are approaching another Red soldier (Sarge) clad in red armor.

Sarge: Hurry up, ladies. This ain't no ice cream social.

Simmons: Ice cream social?

Simmons and Grif exchange looks.

"Mmm, Ice cream is delicious." said Charon.

"I kinda want some ice cream." said Flower, wanting some frosted sweet.

"The only, Ice cream that I taste was the bland ones in the Backstreet." said Roland in disgust, recalling the flavor.

"I agree with you, on that one." said Ezra.

"Um, what does Ice cream have to do now?" asked Sinclair in confusion.

Cut to Sarge.

Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?

Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?

"That's not gonna happen anytime soon, Grif." said Gregor, being a former soldier.

Hokma nods at what Gregor said, "War's not easily be done."

Sarge: (Sarcastically) That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!

"Someone's sarcastic." said Heathcliff, with a chuckle.

"It's a reasonable response of a sergeant to those, who are impractical to combat." said Outis, understanding Sarge.

Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.

Sarge: Goddamn it, Private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!

"God! That seems brutal!" said Taii, taken back by what Sarge said.

"The way he speaks seems like, he doesn't like Grif very much." said Faust.

Simmons: Oh I'd do it, too.

This surprised them again.

"That sounds horrible." said Hod, covering her mouth.

Sarge: I know you would, Simmons. Good man. (brief pause) Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

Grif: Crap. We're getting a rookie.

"They're getting a new recruit?" asked Finn in surprise.

"Heh, do you think it's that one soldier named: 'Donut'?" asked Rodya, chuckling softly.

"I bet it is." said Hong-Lu in amusement.

Sarge: That's right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command.

Grif and Simmons exchange looks again.

Sarge turns towards a hill behind them.

Sarge: Lopez, bring up the vehicle.

A large, armor-plated, jeep-like vehicle comes over the rise with Lopez in the driver seat, who pulls up along side the Reds.

"Woah!!!" said all of them seeing the weaponized vehicle.

"It's the weaponized car, that Sir Grif used in the intro!" exclaimed Don.

"Now that's a weapon." complimented Roland with a whistle.

"If that exist in the City, it would cost like thousands of money." said Chesed.

"And can only be used by proper military personnel." said Moses.

"Wish, I can use it." muttered Ezra quietly, thinking if she had that weapon it would be easy for their job.

Simmons: Shotgun!

Grif: Shotgun! (realizes he is too late) Fuck.

"Too late, orange~" teased Rodya.

Sarge: May I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle.

Camera closes in on the front of the vehicle and starts to move left, circling it.

Sarge: It has four inch armor plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.

YuRia was ecstatic hearing the mods within that weaponized car.

"I wish I was there to study it!" thought the bear.

"People in the City, will pay buttloads of cash if they wanted that vehicle." said Roland.

"Wings and Syndicates, will stop at nothing if they have it." said Vespa.

"That is if they don't abuse it much and ruined its interior." said Yi-Sang.

Cut to Grif and Simmons.

Simmons: Why Warthog, sir?

Cut to Sarge.

Sarge: Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.

Cut to Grif.

Grif: I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.

"Um, it kinda does, since it has those horns in front of it." said Sinclair.

Sarge: (after a brief pause) Say that again.

Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.

Sarge: What in Sam Hell is a puma?

Simmons: Uh, you mean like the shoe company?

"They don't know know what a puma is?" asked Ella.

"Either, he's living in a rock or was completely blind-sighted by what's happening in the world, their world to be precise." said Yesod.

"Such a blind man." said Binah.

Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion.

Sarge: You're making that up.

Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!

"He's right you know, it is an actual animal." said Taii.

"How does his mind messed up, not knowing what a puma is?" asked Yesod.

"Just a deranged, sergeant." said Tiphereth shaking her head.

Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.

Simmons: Yes, sir!

"And I thought human meat in restaurants is worst." commented Ezra.

"Disgusting, almost reminds me of those cannibalistic chefs." said Angela, closing her eyes in disgust.

Meanwhile, at a certain cannibalistic restaurant, a woman with white hair and a man with black hair sneezed for some reason. They shrugged before they continued on preparing some 'human' meals.

Sarge: (pointing at the front of the Warthog) Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?

Cut to Grif.

Grif: A walrus.

Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!

"He's not making it up! It's an actual animal!" said Sinclair.

"Wow, he doesn't even know what a walrus is..." said Gebura shaking her head.

"What an idiotic fool." said Vergilius, sighing. How is this 'Sarge' person became a sergeant in the first place?

"It's such a common animal, you know." said Hong-Lu.

"Well for you rich folks that is..." said Roland, the only animals that he knows are the Distortions.

The world 'animal's, reminded Angela of R Corp's special forces.

Cut to a view of the Reds through the sniper rifle scope.

Cut to Church, wielding the rifle, and Tucker, wielding a M6D pistol.

"And the Blue team is now aware of their weapon." said Malkuth, knowing things will get crazy.

Tucker: What is that thing?

Church lowers the rifle.

Church: I don't know, man. Looks like uh.. looks like they've got some sorta car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it.

Tucker: (taken aback) A car? How come they get a car?!

Church: What are you complaining about, man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.

"Tank? Do they mean the one that is called 'Sheila'?" asked Rodya.

"Possible, I'm curious when it's gonna appear." said Gregor.

"Charon thinks, crazy stuff will happen when the tank arrives." said Charon.

Tucker: (disappointed) You can't pick up chicks in a tank.

Tiphereth and Ishmael scoffed in annoyance, when Tucker said that.

"Oh god, Tucker's one of those guys." thought Ishmael.

Church: Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything couldn't you? We're going to get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?

"Yeah, I mean there are no chicks in the canyon, just a bunch of idiots whining about animals or cars!" said Heathcliff.

Tucker: (sighs) What kind of car is it?

Church: (looking through the scope of the sniper rifle) I dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a... uh... like a big cat of some kind.

Tucker: ...What, like a puma?

Church: Yeah, man, there you go.

"At least, the Blue team knows what a puma is..." said Sinclair.

"So basically the Red team are brainless, while the Blue team are slightly smart." said Dante.

"You could say that, clockman." said YuRia, agreeing with him.

Cut to Red Team.

Sarge: So unless anybody has anymore mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're going to stick with the Warthog. How about it, Grif?

Grif: No, sir. No more suggestions.

Sarge: Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?

"What's Bigfoot?" asked Malkuth curiously.

"It could be a monster in their world, their own version of an Abnormality." guessed Roland.

"What kind of monster that's called Bigfoot? Is it a man with large feet, stomping everyone?" joked Gregor.

This brought a few chuckles, around everyone minus a few.

"Heh, nice one." said Netzach.

Grif: It's okay.

Sarge: Unicorn?

Grif: No really. Uh, I'm cool.

Sarge: Sasquatch?

Simmons: Leprechaun?

"Those are some strange names for those creatures." said Dante.

"Charon is curious about the one called, a 'Unicorn'." said Charon.

Grif: Hey, he doesn't need any help, man.

Sarge: Phoenix?

Grif: (sighs) Christ.

Fade to black.

Sarge: Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.

Simmons: Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir.

"Hmm, a chuparcabra..." said Yi-Sang, for some got interested in it.

Sarge: Hey Grif, Chupathingy! How about that? I like it. Gotta ring to it.

"Eh, it sounds to mouthful." said Ezra, not liking it.

"Excuse me, sir voice! Can I be asked a question?" called out Don.

Things are silent...

"Yes?" asked their mysterious captor.

"Can you tell us more about those creatures, that Sir Grif mentioned?" said the blonde girl, curiously.

"Sure, why are you interested in it?"

"I just wanted to know, what they're like and how they different from the monsters we faced."

"Faust is also curious to know about it too." said Faust

"Very well, then..."

To be continued...

(A/N): Not sure, if people in the City are aware of mythological creatures like Bigfoot or Nessie. And I think that animals can be found in the Nests and maybe in the Backstreets(although a poor Zoo to be precise).

Chapter Text

Their mysterious captor then shows all the information and videos about the mythological creatures that were mentioned in the episode. Needless to say, all of them are fascinated by the creatures, with the likes of Don, Flower, Charon, and Hod liking the unicorn.

"Now Charon, likes the unicorn more." said the bus driver girl, liking the magical horse.

"I agree, that magical horse feels righteous and divine, perfect for a hero's steed!" said Don.

"The phoenix with its unique ability to return life and rebirth sounds astounding." said Angela, looking at the files of the mystical bird.

If the phoenix exist, she only desired to be reborn as a human without the cost of others.

"So basically, this Bigfoot is just a giant monkey?" asked Roland in confusion.

"Kinda expecting it, to be a man with huge feet." said Gregor.

"I don't know about you all, but I already like the Chupacabra." smirked Heathcliff, liking its look.

"I agree, its own looks feel devastating." said Ryoshu, admiring the feral nature of the Chupacabra emanates.

"There are however misconceptions about the Chupacabra." said Yi Sang, reading its files, "Some say it resembled a coyote and some said it's a lizard just like what Sarge said previously."

Ishmael is engrossed in seeing the mysterious Nessie, whose own appearance affected the oceans. After looking watching and reading more files about the mythological creatures, they proceed on watching the next part of Red vs Blue.

The episode begins and it's called: "The Rookies".

Simmons and Grif are on top of Red Base. A soldier in red armor (Donut) is walking up the ramp behind them.

"Looks like Mr. Pastry has arrive." joked Ezra.

"Wouldn't him be the same color as Sarge, be confusing? Since we don't know how to tell them apart." said Finn scratching his head in confusion.

"Well he might get a different color, later on, to tell the difference." said Malkuth.

Simmons: Hey, that's not exactly what happened.

Grif: Yes, it is. You said, "I'm not going to the Vegas quadrant," and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for-

Donut: Excuse me, uh, sirs.

Grif: Sirs? (turns to Donut) Ah crap.

Donut: I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge.

Grif: Sorry man, Sarge is at Command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today.

Simmons: Actually, Private, he left me in charge while he's gone.

Grif: You are such a kiss-ass.

"Heh, we have our own kiss-ass right here." smirked Heathcliff, looking at Outis.

"Watch your tone." glared Outis.

"He's not wrong though..." said Dante.

"We also have someone else, who licked another man's boots." thought Angela, looking at Hokma.

Recalling how Hokma, always followed Ayin's ideals in making the world a better place for Carmen.

Simmons: Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should... (clears throat then poorly imitates Sarge) "Git in the Warthog, and crush yer head like a tomato-can."

Grif: That's the worst impression I've ever heard.

Simmons: Okay rookie, what's your story?

Donut: Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens.

Grif: Couple things here, rookie. First off, Private Donut? I think somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?

"Sheesh, even his future comrades think his name is ridiculous." commented Roland.

"Kinda reminds me of the old days back in L Corp, when I was still a rookie." thought Finn, recalling the upper management harshly talking to him.

Donut: This IS the standard issue red.

Grif: Yeah, I know. Listen. Only two kinds of people wear standard-issue armor: officers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer.

"And how do you know, huh?" asked Ishmael with a raised brow, "Says the guy, who keeps on arguing with his superiors for animals."

"There are many ways to identify an officer or a soldier, it's either through their ID or list of rankings if they have one." said Binah.

Donut: (looks at Simmons) Well, he's wearing red armor.

Simmons: No, my armor is maroon. Your armor is red.

"I mean, it is confusing to tell both colors, especially the ones that are closed to red." said Ella.

"It could be similar to how the difference between Aberrations and their prime counterparts." said Taii.

Donut: Well, how do I get a different color armor?

Simmons: I bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap.

"My guess, they do." said Sinclair.

Church, Tucker, and a soldier in standard issue blue (Caboose) are looking at a tank.

Caboose: So I say to the guy, "How're you gonna get the tank down to the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship," and I go, "If you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?"

"Yeah, why can't they use the ship instead? It feels more powerful compared to that tank." said Dante, wondering.

"True, but there's one thing to point out is that the ship required a lot of resources to function and there may be some budget constraints in its weaponry." explained Faust.

"And why the tank, is a much better option since it can use the least amount of resources to operate." said Moses.

Tucker: Hey, kid.

Caboose: Yeah?

Tucker: You're ruining the moment. Shut up.

Caboose: Oh. Okay. You got it man!

Church: You know what? I could blow up the whole god damn world with this thing.

"Not possible, unless it is powered up by a powerful energy source." said Vespa.

"Even if they did have, the required power it would need is a million of those to execute that attack." said Hokma.

Cut to the Reds.

Simmons: Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal.

Grif: I just refuse to call him Private Donut!

Everyone just laughs, hearing that.

"Oh man, they're gonna keep on insulting his name." said Gregor, shaking his head with a smile.

Simmons: We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?

Donut: Absolutely!

Simmons: We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of elbow grease.

Grif: Yeah and uh, pick up some headlight fluid for the Puma too.

Donut: The what?

Simmons: He means the Warthog.

Grif: You do know where the store is, right, Rookie?

"Um, where will they even find a store? They're in a middle of nowhere." said Sinclair.

"It's obvious, this is just a ploy for them to get Donut away." said Vergilius.

Donut: What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure, no problem.

Simmons: Well, get going then.

Donut starts running across the base.

Grif: Other way.

Donut turns around and goes the other way.

Donut: I knew that. Just got turned around that's all.

Grif and Simmons watch Donut running off into the Gulch.

Simmons: How long do you think until he figures out there's no store?

Grif: I say... at least a week.

"What a senseless, fool." said Outis shaking her head.

"Who keeps on recruiting this type of soldiers?" asked Yesod, questioning the high command within red and blues

Donut runs through the Gulch, stops, and turns to talk to himself.

Donut: Elbow grease... How stupid do they think I am? Once I get back to base with that headlight fluid, I'm gonna talk to the Sergeant.

This surprised them seeing how Donut, did not fall for Grid and Simmons's ploy.

"I take it back, he's not somewhat senseless." said Outis.

"But he still follows their idiotic commands." sighed Tiphereth.

Cut to the Blues.

Tucker: You know what? Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece.

"As if they can be easily be picked up." scoffed Rodya.

"Aren't you the sam-" Gregor got cut off by her, who grabs him by the collar of his shirt.

"Finish that, I dare you bug man."

"Listen to the gambler, otherwise you'll see your life to be very short." said Ryoshu, her eyes turning red, "Not even the manager can't brought you back."

"O-Okay shutting up now."

Church: Oh man, listen to you. What're you gonna do with two chicks?

Tucker: Church, women are like Voltron: The more you can hook up, the better it gets.

The females kept on getting annoyed by Tucker's sentence.

Cut to Grif and Simmons.

Simmons: You think that we were too mean to the kid?

Grif: Nah, he'll just wander around on the cliffs for a few hours. What's the worst that could happen?

Donut approaches Blue Base.

Donut: Finally, there it is. ...Oh sweet! They sell tanks!

"Uh oh, this is gonna go wrong in so many ways." said YuRia.

"Well he's dead, can't wait for the action." said Heathcliff, "Even though it might get sucked."

To be continued...

Chapter Text

The episode begins and the title of the current episode is shown: Head Noob in Charge.

"What does noob mean?" asked Don curiously.

"Someone like you." pointed out Vergilius.

"Huh?!"

"He's not wrong Don, 'cause noob means inexperience." said Sinclair, making the hero-obsessed girl slumped in despair comically.

Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing next to the tank outside Blue Base.

Church: Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home.

This got the attention of everyone, hearing that Church has a special someone.

Tucker: Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?

Church: No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out... ah, you know how it works.

"Did something happen between them?" asked Hod in concern.

"Hopefully nothing bad." responded Taii.

"It better not be something tragic..." muttered Roland, getting triggered by his wife's death

Tucker: Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?

Caboose: I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

"Ugh, the way he said it, shows how obviously he can't be married." said Ishmael, getting disgusted at how Caboose's father's message is.

Church: Hey, rookie.. did you just call my girlfriend a cow?

Heathcliff, Gregor, Netzach, Finn, and even Roland laugh at that part, only to be silenced by the likes of Rodya, Angela, Tiphereth, and Outis.

Tucker: No, I think he called her a slut!

Church: I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.

"Like what? Stalking the opposite team?" asked Tiphereth.

"Or argue, through the sniper rifle." added Dante.

Caboose: Great.

Church: See, we've got this General.

Tucker: Right, the General guy.

"Who is even their General? I sincerely doubt they even existed." said Outis, getting frustrated with the military of the Reds and Blues.

Church: ...who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by.

Caboose: When is he coming by?

Tucker: We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.

"How do they even tell the time? They should have some built-in clocks in their suits." said YuRia.

"If they don't have a clock, it means a lot of time has passed them for a long time." said Yi-Sang.

"Of course, they're too idiotic to notice it." said Vespa, bluntly.

Caboose: You want me to stand at attention for a week?

Church: You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.

Caboose: What's so important about the flag?

Church: Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?

Caboose: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?

"Why is the flag important anyway?" asked Ezra.

"Well in my soldier days, flags are considered as a symbol and the very pride of a military faction, losing them is considered a huge loss for all." explained Gregor, with Outis agreeing with him.

"However, their flags felt like they're not close to importance." said Moses.

Church: Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.

Tucker: Well... it's... it's complicated. Uh... It's blue, we're blue.

"Nice, explanation why it's important." said Tiphereth in a sarcastic tone.

Church: It's just important, okay? Trust us. So when the General comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag.

Tucker: Right.

Church: So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him.

"He's getting pretty obvious." said Roland.

Rodya sighed, "I almost feel bad for those rookies."

Caboose turns and heads for the base, but stops half way and turns around.

Caboose: Uh, how will I know when I see him?

Tucker: There's only three of us out here, rookie. He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us.

Church: Now get in there, and don't come out! (turns to Tucker) Man, that guy is dumber than you are.

Tucker: You mean he's dumber than you are.

Church: Wow, Tucker, that was a great come-back.

"Says the guy, with a sucky insult." said Ezra.

Caboose emerges from the base with Church and Tucker in the distance.

Caboose: Uh, Mr. Church? Sir?

Church: Oh my god, WHAT!? (turns to Tucker) Tucker, I swear, I'm gonna kill him!

"Church emotional level is now on their limits." analyzed Meursault.

"Yeah we can see that big guy." said Gregor.

Caboose: Sorry about calling your girl a slut...

Church: ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, GET IN THERE!

"Reminds me of how most of the employees in Lobotomy Corporation, have enough of the Abnormalities." said Flower.

"It was a regular thing back in the day." said Ella.

"Or the unfair jobs in the Backstreets." added Roland.

Tucker: (turns around to laugh) Uh-huh huh huh huh!

Church: (turns around to face Tucker's back) Tucker, are you laughing at me?

"Not very threatening, much." said Gebura.

Donut steps up behind Church.

Donut: Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?

"It looks like, the action between the Reds and Blues is gonna start now." said Hong-Lu.

"All they did are just stand around and talk in useless nonsense." said Angela, shaking her head.

Church:Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I.. I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!

Donut: What did I do?

"Poor pastry man, getting treated crap from both teams." said Rodya.

"Shouldn't Tucker, have seen him coming in their base?" asked Hod in confusion.

"He could be somewhere else, occupying their tank or something." guessed Dante.

Church: One...

Donut: Aw, gimme a break.

Church: TWO!

Donut: Fine!

Donut runs in the base and walks up to Caboose.

Caboose: Wow, you got here fast!

"Shouldn't they be fighting since they're in opposite teams?" asked Ishmael.

"They're incompetent rookies and stupid." said Binah.

Donut: Why is everyone so freakin' rude in this canyon?

Caboose: I'm not, sir. What can I do for you?

Donut: Finally, someone with a little respect around here.

Caboose: Yes, sir! I assume you're here because of this... (turns toward the flag)

"This is gonna get messy for all of the teams since Caboose thought Donut is the general while Donut thinks Caboose is the unknown store clerk in the canyon." said Sinclair.

"They're gonna have an earful later on from their supposed 'leaders'." said Taii.

Donut: Wait, is this all you have?

Caboose: Uh, yes, sir. That's it!

Donut: Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about elbow grease?

Caboose: Uhmm...

Donut: Headlight fluid?

Caboose: No. All we have is this flag.

Donut: Well, I can't go back empty handed. I guess I'll take that.

"Better than nothing, I guess." shrugged Netzach, drinking some beer.

"Hey do you have some spare?" asked Gregor.

The green-haired drunk simply gave him another one, much to the cockroach soldier's appreciation.

Caboose: Sure, that makes sense. I guess.

Donut: (leaving with the flag) Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag.

Cut to Church and Tucker.

Church:Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker.

"Aw yeah, time to see the tank in action." smirked Heathcliff.

"But in the hands of some inexperienced soldiers, it will be chaos." said Angela.

"Charon can drive tank better, compared to them similar to how Charon drives Mephi." said Charon.

Tucker: Me? I can't drive that thing.

Church: You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?

Tucker:I ca- I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle. Don't you know how to drive that?

Church: No! ..Holy Crap! Who is running this army!?

"THAT'S WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW?!" thought all of them, especially Outis.

It's like the entire Head department, is run by little kids.

Caboose: (emerging from the base) Hey! Just wanted to let you know the General stopped by and picked up the flag!

Church: (to Caboose) Yeah! Okay! Whatever, moron! (to Tucker) Why would they give us a tank, if nobody here knows how to drive the damn thing? ...Wait a second... What did he just say?

"They're both dead." said Roland.

To be continued...

(A/N): Do you guys want other characters from their world to join in? (Example: Iori, Yun, San, etc...) I might revived some characters and join in the watching as well, but it's a huge maybe.

Chapter Text

The episode begins and the title of the current episode is shown: Head Noob in Charge.

Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.

Church: Let me get this straight.. You gave this guy our flag?

"Didn't he order him to give it to their general?" asked Hokma.

"It seems both teams recruits, made a huge screwup on their tasks." said Binah.

Outis sighed, "Not even the rookies in my former unit, acted this incompetent."

Caboose: Is that bad?

Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?

Tucker: There, there he is.

Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.

Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.

Rodya chuckled, "Smart, him? The guy who almost fell for his superiors fake out to leave them alone..."

"Yeah, I don't think so." said Ella.

"He better off, being dead in the battlefield for acting ludicrous." said Vergilius.

Cut to Donut looking around the canyon.

Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?

Cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose.

Church: Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.

Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.

Church: Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.

"What defense?" asked Tiphereth, "There's nothing around their bases!"

"Not even a simple turret is protecting their base." said Vespa.

Caboose: Uh, you know.. he came in the back door where you guys were standing.

Tucker: Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.

Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.

Cut to Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.

Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!

Cut to Church and Tucker.

Church: Aw crap.

Tucker: ...

Everyone just stared in silence...

"Such uselessness..." said Angela, shaking her head.

"What a waste of a weapon." said Roland.

Church: (turns to Tucker) ...What?

Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?

"Yeah what's the point of having a sniper rifle, when he can't fucking aim properly?" asked Heathcliff.

"Well... They did use it to spy on the Red Team..." said Sinclair, trying to lighten things up.

"That's still no excuse if he can't use it." said Moses.

Cut to Donut.

Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?

Cut to Tucker.

Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.

Church: Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.

"A teleporter?" asked YuRia in interest.

The word 'teleporter', reminded Roland, Angela, and the other Librarians of a certain train in their world, as they still suffer nightmares about it.

"I'm curious how advanced their teleporter is compared to ours?" asked Taii.

"It could be around level 1 or still in a prototype stage." said Yi-Sang.

Caboose: Right!

Church: Tucker, you ready? Let's go.

Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.

Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?

"Why give them a tank if they don't know how to drive?" retorted Ishmael.

"Or handle a sniper rifle properly." said Dante.

Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?

Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?

Tucker: We threw rocks through it!

Church: Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?

"Just because those rocks have no negative side effect on them, that doesn't mean it is still safe for human use." said Yesod.

"They should at least, keep on testing the teleporter and see if there's a proper result that won't meet a horrible end." said Faust.

Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.

Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a little black stuff.

Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.

Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. (raising his gun at Tucker)

This surprised all of them to see someone like Church threatening one of his members.

"Woah didn't expect him to go that way." said Gregor.

Tucker: You wouldn't...

Church: You know, I look at it this way: Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.

"How does he win? Even if he did kill Tucker, he still has Caboose whose still a nuisance to him. Not to mention, they'll be outnumbered by the Reds." said Dante.

"But since the Reds are also incompetent soldiers, the outcome would still be predictable due to them having no experience in their own equipment." said Meursault.

Tucker: For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.

Church: Duly noted. Now get in there.

Tucker: Crap... Alright. One, two...

Tucker runs through and doesn't appear on the other side.

Everyone was silent, seeing that.

"Well... RIP Tucker, I guess." said Finn.

Caboose: ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...

Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.

"Wow, not even talking about one of their own, who was presumed to be dead." said Malkuth, glaring at Church.

"I doubt he even cares for that and they seemed to be not friends in the first place." said Roland.

"On the bright side, at least he's happy that one annoyance is gone." said Vergilius.

Church runs off the base to chase Donut.

Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!

"Good luck with that, even though there's a high chance you'll fail." said Ezra.

Cut to Simmons and Grif.

Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.

Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.

Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.(Meursault: That's only three bams.)

Grif: Bam. (sees Church through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got a Blue guy on the move out there.

Simmons: Where's he headed?

Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog.

Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?

Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.

"Are they still arguing about the animal thing for the Warthog?!" exclaimed Taii.

"I guess they did..." said Netzach, drinking his beer.

To be continued...

(A/N): What do you guys think of Projectmoonverse reacts to Vanossgaming? Or Projecmoonverse reacts to Transformers?

Chapter Text

The episode begins and the title of the current episode is shown: 1.21 Giga-Whats??.

Cut to Church running up to Donut with his gun pointed at him.

Church: Freeze!

Donut: Hey, why the hell are you shooting at me?! You coulda hit me, dick!

Church: Can it. Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge. I know who ya are. We've been spying on you for three weeks now.

"Spying? All they spied are just the Reds' casual conversations that barely matter to their fight, so it's useless." said Tiphereth, in annoyance.

Donut: I just got here two hours ago. And I'm not a Sergeant, I'm a Private.

Church: Wait a minute, you're not the Sergeant!

"Duh, obviously." scoffed Ishmael, "What gave it away?"

Donut: Yeah, that's what I just said.

Church: Well then how the hell did you manage to steal our flag?

"One answer: Pure idiocy." said Angela with a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Truly idiocy." agreed Vergilius.

"You can't blame, them since they have a lot of misguided wannabe soldiers in their ranks to screw up a simple task." said Roland.

"Aren't both Church and Sarge the same?" pointed out Vespa.

This made Roland silent, "Good point."

Donut: Steal? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!

Tucker comes out of the teleporter between them and now has black armor.

Tucker: Three!

This makes everyone, jolted in surprise, seeing Tucker alive but with a different color.

"Tucker's alive?!" exclaimed Don.

"Well it looks like, he survived their flawed teleporter." said Yesod.

Rodya laughed, "Looks like Church's sufferings have returned."

Church: JESUS!

Donut: HOLY SHIT! Who is this guy?

Church: What in the hell!? Tucker? Is that you?

"Why is he covered in that weird black stuff?" asked Flower getting a bit weirded out.

"Is it black slime that came from the teleporter? Or was it something else..." said Sinclair, feeling uncomfortable.

Moses looked closely, "Hmm, based on my observations, it seemed to be soot."

"Soot?" asked Gregor, "So Tucker got burned inside of the teleporter? How come he doesn't look hurt or didn't notice the pain?

"Faust has a simple answer, it's due to his armor that protected him from the presumed burns of the teleporter. Thanks to it, he barely noticed the burns coming off at him." explained Faust.

"That's one strong armor." said Netzach.

"Still, it's a huge risk, using the teleporter now, since it has many problems thanks to its delayed time of arrival or uneccesarry side effects like the burns." said YuRia.

Yi-Song nodded in agreement.

Tucker: How did you get up here ahead of me?

Donut: And what's with that black shit on your armor?

Tucker: Hey! Freeze, Sarge!

Donut: Would you stop calling me a Sergeant, I'm still just a Private.

Tucker: The Sarge is still a Private? Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time.

Everyone just groaned loudly hearing that.

"Oh.My.God! That idiot!" said Heathcliff facepalming deeply.

"How many brain cells, that he has?" asked Ishmael, "Shouldn't he be aware that, he's been stuck in the teleporter for so long due to a glitch? Not involved in time traveling."

"Time traveling in their teleporter would be impossible to manufacture." stated Yi-Sang.

"Was the time, he get stuck inside that teleported messed up his mind or something?" asked Ella.

Cut to Grif and Simmons getting in the Warthog which has Tejano music playing.

Grif: Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep.

"That music is getting on my nerves." said Tiphereth.

"Why do I feel like, this isn't the last time that music will be played?" thought Dante.

"It kinda sounds... catchy." admitted Ezra.

"And funny at the same time." said Finn.

Simmons: I'll take gunner. (takes gunner position) Let's roll.

Grif: How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car?

Simmons: (calls out as they drive off) Don't worry Lopez, I'll bring her back in one piece.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." said Chesed.

"In the hands of those two, that jeep is good as scrap." said Gebura.

Cut back to Church, Tucker, and Donut.

Tucker: Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you. Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this guy here, he gets promoted to Sergeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they get this new jeep, and I'm all like, "There is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!"

Church: Tucker? What the fuck are you babbling about?

Tucker: I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals our flag while we're distracted.

Donut: Is this guy a retard?

"Oh dang, that's cold! Never thought Donut would say something like that." said Dante in surprise.

"That seemed kinda offending." said Malkuth, frowning.

"I kinda agree." said Sinclair.

Church: (The Warthog's Tejano music gets progressively louder as he speaks) Red? Shut up. Tucker? Listen to me. Ya haven't gone back in time, okay? This IS the guy who stole the flag, he's just not the Sergeant. Turns out he's just some dumb rookie who happens to have the same color armor as him. He got in somehow, just... for God's sake! WHAT IS THAT MUSIC!?

Warthog jumps over the hill right by Church.

"Wooh! That was a close call!" said Roland.

"Almost lost his head there." chuckled Gregor.

"Heh, I would like to see that happen." smirked Binah.

"D.I." nodded Ryoshu.

(Translation: Decapitated Idiot)

Grif: Woohoo!

Tucker: Holy shit!

Church: Son of a bitch! Run! Jesus! Run!

Tucker: The jeep followed me back in time!

"No, it did not." said Hong-Lu in amusement.

"How would the jeep even follow him?" asked Don in confusion.

Grif hops out of the Warthog as Simmons yells and fires at Church and Tucker as they run away.

Church: Ow! Git! Ow! Git! Ow, ow!

Simmons: (in background) That's right! That's right, I got your ass! Get off your ass and run, you cock bites! Right now! Yeah, not so pretty when you gotta run are you! Yeah, that's right! Stay there! You know where your flag is? We're gonna get you! Come on! Don't be a wimp! Come on, Blue! Come on, get out there! I've got a whole barrel of love to shoot you with! Come on! Get out now! Yeah, come on out! I know you like this! Come out where I can get you! Come on! Don't be a wimp! Come on, Blue! Be tough, get out there!

"I didn't know, Simmons has a colorful mouth." gasped Rodya.

"Looks like we're seeing different sides to Reds today." said Ezra.

"Kinda feels like, when Heathcliff rages on in the battlefield." said Dante.

"Shut up, clockhead." said the bad-wielding man.

Grif: What the hell is going on here?

Donut: You know what? I honestly have no idea what's going on. I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane.

"Hate to say it, but I agree with him." said Moses.

Everyone nodded.

Grif: How did you get the flag?

Donut: I don't know, I just asked for it.

Grif: Wait, that worked?

"Yes by pure luck, since it was given to him by another incompetent soldier." said Outis.

"And next time, it will not be easy for him." said Faust.

Donut: I guess. Is it not supposed to?

Grif: I don't know, we.. never even thought to try that. Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there.

Donut: Not until someone tells me what the fuck is go-

Grif: There's no time to explain, rookie! Just take the flag, and go to base! I'll explain everything there.

Donut: Fine!

Donut starts running through the Gulch.

Grif: (scoffs) Back to our base, dumbass!

Donut: Uh, I know. I just got turned around, that's all.

"Nice lie." said Taii sarcastically.

"Almost screwed up, an important mission for them." said Hokma.

Cut to Caboose looking at Church and Tucker through the sniper rifle.

Caboose: Oh man, that's not good. (looks from Church and Tucker to the Warthog) Oh my god, that jeep has a really big gun. (puts down the sniper rifle and looks back and forth) Stay here... Tank... Stay here... Tank... ..Ah, screw it. (runs off to the tank)

"He's getting reckless." said Roland.

"Which might caused his death." said Malkuth.

Cut to Church and Tucker behind a rock with Simmons firing and yelling at them.

Simmons: (in background) Yeah, get going! Take that! I know you like that there! Come out! Come here! Poke your head up! Come on, Blue! Get your head out there!

Church: Well, we'll just wait here. That thing's gotta run outta bullets some time.

"It would be impossible, due to the gun's maximum of hundred rounds firing at a rapid rate. His chance of getting out of there is negative." said Meursault.

"Church is dead." said Charon.

"Why do I have a bad sign about it?" thought Dante, having a nagging feeling.

To be continued...

(A/N): Do you guys think, I should include Seasons 15-18? or not? Since in the upcoming season Restoration those seasons will be retconned.

Chapter Text

The episode begins and the title of the current episode is shown: Check Out the Treads on That Tank

Narrator:  Last week, on Red vs. Blue...

Church backs into to frame from the left.

Church:  Uh, hey dude, we didn't have a video last week. We were at E3, remember?

"What's E3?" asked Dante curiously.

"I... have no idea." said YuRia.

Narrator:  I mean, week before last...

Caboose is looking through the sniper rifle at Simmons in the back of the Warthog firing at Church and Tucker.

Caboose:  Oh my god, that jeep has a really big gun. (puts down the sniper rifle and looks back and forth) Stay here... Tank... Stay here... Tank... ..Ah, screw it. (runs off to the tank)

"Does he even know how to ride that?" asked Gebura, "Because someone inexperience like him, will just cause more casualties, instead of helping his team."

"This team is doomed at the very beginning anyway." sighed Moses.

(Title Screen)

Church and Tucker are behind a rock with bullets hitting the canyon wall behind them.

Church:  My god, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?

"No." said everyone.

Tucker:  You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank.

Church: Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?

"Exactly and now it's the hands of an idiot!" said Heathcliff.

"It's just a complete waste within their hands." said Binah.

Tucker:  Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.

Church:  Well, yeah, but... oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya.

Cut to Caboose hopping in the tank. As the canopy closes, the tank turns on.

Tank:  Hello, and thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila.

"Sheila? That's a fancy name for an AI guide accompanying the tank." commented Malkuth.

"Whoever programmed it, must have a creative side." chuckled Chessed.

Caboose:  Hello. Sheila. Big tank lady.

Sheila:  Would you like me to run the tutorial program?

Caboose : Oh, that'd be very nice. Thank you.

"On the bright side, he's not recklessly using the tank and instead being guided by the AI." said Finn.

"If he can manage to follow it's guides." pointed out Faust.

"Charon wished Mephi had a talking voice too." said Charon.

Sheila:  Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of this Scorpion class tank. Let's begin with some driving.

Caboose:  Okay.

Cut to Simmons firing the Warthog's gun with Grif on the ground behind him.

Grif:  Simmons. SIMMONS!

Simmons stops firing, and steps down.

Grif:  Man, that thing is loud.

"Simmons would be an awful ally when involved in stealth missions." chuckled Ezra.

"Indeed, recklessly firing that Gatling gun without thinking will surely hinder and prove trouble to any ally if managed properly." said Vespa.

Sheila drives by in the background.

Simmons:  ...WHAT?

Grif:  Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out.

Simmons:  OKAY.

Grif:  Keep it down! Jesus. Let's go, before they figure out what's going on.

Cut to Caboose having Sheila stranded on a tall rock and turning to try to get off.

Sheila:  Now that you've mastered driving the M808V, let's move on to some of the safety features.

Caboose:  No, no, wait, go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?

"I take it back, the AI is faulty." said Finn.

"The training program built within it, must have been a glitch or a defect." said Yi-Sang.

"Thou, curious with Caboose, why the tank needs six pedals, instead of the usual four?" asked Don.

"Different vehicles have different controls, especially combat ones that are complex." said Yesod.

Cut to Church peeking out from the side of the rock. Tucker is still standing behind it.

Church:  (whispering) Psst, hey, they stopped firing.

Tucker:  Why are you whispering?

Church:  (whispering) Uhm... I don't know.

Some chuckled seeing that.

"Duh, to avoid getting killed." said Ishmael.

Cut to Simmons and Grif standing at the foot of a cliff.

Grif:  Aw, crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way.

Simmons:  Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep?

Sheila rolls up right behind them.

Grif:  Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day long.

"They're completely dead now, without their jeep." said Netzach.

"Should've at least taken the jeep and driven in a different angle." said Outis.

Sheila's turret looks at Grif, then at Simmons as they speak.

Simmons:  Well, at least that was fun.

"Rest their souls, may they live in a blank afterlife." said Vergilius bluntly.

Grif and Simmons turn simultaneously to see the tank.

Grif:  Holy CRAP. What in God's name is that thing?

"Your own mother, of course." said Tiphereth sarcastically, "It's the tank fools!"

Cut to Church and Tucker looking at the vacant Warthog.

Church:  Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out.

"Are they assuming that the Reds are baiting them strategically when they're still occupied by Caboose thanks to the tank." said Vespa raising a brow.

"He's overthinking this, too much." said Hod.

Tucker:  No they're not, look - they left the jeep. They're gone.

Church:  Well, I don't know about this. It seems pretty fishy, but... alright screw it, let's go get it.

Cut to Sheila's HUD. Her cross-hair slowly homes in on Grif's head.

Grif:  Dude, hold still. I don't think it sees us.

A tone goes off indicating target lock.

"Yeah it sees you bud." said Gregor.

"Let's see how he can escape this predicament." chuckled Ryushou.

Narrator:  Coming up on Red vs. Blue: You've watched them for seven episodes. But next week, the unthinkable! Someone. Will. Die!

They were surprised to hear that, someone will die, although they're not sure to trust it based on the tone.

Sarge:  ...I sure hope it's Grif.

"Possible, he's boxed in with no way out thanks to the targeting system of the tank." said YuRia.

"I'm still curious if someone will truly die, next." pondered Sinclair.

"I still don't buy it thanks to some fakeouts like what happened with Tucker but we'll see." said Rodya.

To be continued...