Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Info

Name: (Name) (Last Name)

Age: 18

Personality: Trust the process

Height: Your Height

Body: Your body

Looks: Your looks, attractive

Now onto love interests, ps Gon and Killua will be aged up for love interests but not to sexualize them (Literally gross wtf I see so many authors do that) also this list is all over the place just ignore that and I take recommendations

Gon (16)
Killua (16)
Kurapika (17)
Leorio (18)
Hisoka (18)
Illumi (18)
Chrollo (18)
Feitan (18)
Shalnark (18)
Shizuku (18)
Phinks (18)
Machi (18)
Pakunoda (18)
Nobunaga (19)
Franklin (19)
Pokkle (17)
Canary (16)
Menchi (18)
Mr Wing (18)
Ponzu (17)
Meruem (18)
Palm (18)
Pitou (18)
Knuckle (?)
Komugi (18)
Kite (?)
Pouf (?)
Candle dude (?)
Morel (?)
Hanzo (?)
Knov (?)
Shoot (?)
Pink Haired girl (?)
Milluki (?)
Amane (?)
Neon (16-18?)
Baise (?)
Jispa (?)
Zazan (?)

Strictly Plantonic!!!

Netero (100?)
Satotz (?)
Bisky (Like 40)
Melody (?)
Quizzing lady (?)
Captain (?)
The Rest of the Zoldycks (?)
Mike!! (?)
Ging(like 30)
Pariston(?)
Aunt Mito(?)

That’s it for now pookies but I do take requests on who to add to the list. Alsooooo before anyones like, “Wtf this list sucks, I hate ‘so and so’!” Just because they’re a love interest doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate those feelings, most of them will just flirt with you for a bit.
Also second heads up, about my updating schedule, I’ll try to update once a week so stay tuned pookies and enjoy the show!!!!
XOXO Author Pinkery <3

Chapter Text

3rd Person POV:

The four teenage boys, Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio were sitting at their lunch table eating.

“Gon, Killua, you guys need to chew your food with your mouths closed, that’s disgusting,” Kurapika scolded the two boys.

“Yeah, you wouldn't want any hot chicks to see you two like that,” Leorio joked, while also chewing with his mouth open. Kurapika rolled his eyes while lightly smacking Leorio on the back of the head.
“Leorio, are you still hitting on that pink haired hag,” Killua asked.

“She wants me so badly,” Leorio responded confidently.

“Are you gonna keep that same attitude when that new girl gets here,” Gon asks, swallowing his food loudly.

“ A WOMAN!?!??!”

“Leorio, stfu,” Killua yelled at Leorio.

“You think she’s any good at chemistry? My dad says I’m gonna need a tutor,” Gon questions.

“Oh, she and I will definitely have chemistry,” Leorio commented with hearts in his eyes.

“Get a life you perv,” Kurapika responded, packing up his bag before the ball rang. They all started packing their bags and went their separate ways to class.

Somewhere on the Freeway:

“Achoo,” (Name) sneezed.

“Someone’s probably talking shit about you,” (Name)’s Mom commented.

“Bitches these days,” (Name) joked.

“Anyways, we’ll be there in 5, so get ready,” (Name)’s Mom informs (Name). (Name) looked out the window, admiring the scenery. However, she saw a weird Cadillac, but that's not what threw her off guard. What threw her off guard was the clown-like twink and his twinky big eyed friend.

“Hisoka, pick up the pace we have to make it to Chrollo’s house before he writes our names in the Burn Book,” the bug eyed twink said to his friend, Hisoka, I think. (Name) just giggled a little before her mom pulled into a neighborhood.

“We’re here,” (Name)’s Mom said. (Name) opened her door before texting someone. Soon, the door opened and she saw her new temporary home. Before she got started packing, she had to look for a family who was renting out a room and she was desperate, so she chose the first one without a question.

“Hey, you must be (Name)? You’re the person my mom’s renting my younger brother's room out to. I’m Wing,” Wing introduced himself to (Name). (Name) smiled.

“Thank you, Wing. Nice to meet you,” (Name) thanked Wing. While she had some weird joke where she was gonna flirt with him, she didn’t want to do that infront of her mom.

“Alright, future lovers. I have a long flight home and as much as I want to hang out with my bitchy daughter and her future husband, I can’t miss my flight. Goodbye, sweetie and Wing guy,” (Name)’s Mom joked, giving (Name) a hug and helping her bring her bags in.

“Bye, Mom.” (Name) waved her mom away. Wing was busy carrying her bags upstairs and into his brother's old room.

“She’s hot,” Wing picked up a picture of his brother, Zushi,”You’d like her. I’m sure you’ll love her as your sister in law,” Wing joked and went back to carrying bags.

“You sure you don’t need help with those bags, Wing,” (Name) called upstairs. Wing felt like a giddy little lad hearing (Name) say his name.

“Nah, I’m good,” Wing said, putting the last bag down.

“So you already registered at Hunter High?”

“I think so. So are schools here, like, strict,” (Name) asked.

“Nah, they’re pretty laid back. As long as you know a little nen, you’ll be fine. I can teach you, if you need any help,” Wing offered, patting (Name)’s shoulder to comfort her.

“I think I’ll be fine, but I’ll probably need help with classes though,” (Name) said, her eyes looking a little scared at the idea of a new school.

“Mk, well school starts Monday. Also, my mom forgot to tell you in the text that we have a pool and dinner’s at 5:30,” Wing informed (Name).

“Wing,” (Name) grabbed Wing's arm,”Where’s your brother?”

“He got accepted into this nice ass boarding school,” Wing responded.

“I’ve got homework to finish, see you around dinner time,” Wing said, getting ready to leave.

“Yeah, see ya, bbg,” (Name) responded.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

I was sleeping, having a peaceful dream when Wing barged into my room.

“THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!”

“Shut up,” I yelled at him, throwing a pillow in his direction.

“Come on, time to wake up for school,” he coos in my ear.

“Fuck off,” I mumble and in return, he rips my blanket off me.

“WAIT, WING-”

“Oh.” Before I could respond he deadpans.

“Wing, I sleep naked,” I defend myself.

“Didn’t know you were cool like that,” he responds before tossing the blanket back on me.

“Get ready, my mom’s making breakfast,” he informs me before leaving the room.

“Nice ass by the way.”

“GET OUT!”

I head downstairs, fully dressed and ready for school. I make eye contact with Wing and gave him a disappointed mom head shake.

“Shame on you, boy,” I smack the back of his head.

“Good Morning, sweetie.” Wing’s Mother greats me.

“Good Morning,” I respond, giving her the morning kiss on the cheek she’s started requesting since I moved in. I turn to Wing’s other Mom and give her the kiss on her cheek too.

“Yo, Wing, I think your moms like me more than you,” I joke and in return he throws a rag at my face.

“You both should head to school early so you can give (Name) the tour,” Wings Mom, Chiyoko, informs us. We get our bags and start to head out.

“Bye, moms” we both yell.

“You wanna drive or me,” I ask.

“You still got that American mentality, so you’d probably drive on the wrong side of the road,” he teases.

“Nah uh, you guys are the one driving on the wrong side of the road,” I respond but he still takes the car keys from me.

“Penis licker,” I mumble.

“What’d you call me?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

We finally made it to school after I sobbed my heart out to My Heart Will Go On.

“God, you Americans are so crazy,” Wing rolls his eyes, locking the car. I get out of the car and notice the amount of people staring at me.

“Wing, call me a dumb fuck or whatever, but are these people staring at me,” I ask, pointing to myself.

“Not everyday they see an American that’s actually hot,” he reponds, adjusting his backpack.

“Hey, my people are hot! At Least the women are,” I argue. He takes my arm around his and leads me into the building.

“Go talk to the desk ladies and ask for a schedule,” Wing commands me.

“I’m not stupid, I had to do this at my old school, cock eater,” I say, rolling my eyes. I go up to the desk ladies and ask for my schedule. The desk lady, who I assume is Mito, from the sign in front of her, hands me my schedule with a smile.

“Good luck, sweetheart.”

“Thank you-”

“No seriously, good luck,” the other desk woman, Bisky, tells me.

“Will do,” I say confused, turning back to Wing. We both look at my schedule.

“Who tf has AP English for a first class,” Wing asks in disgust.

“Me apparently,” I sigh. Luckily, English is easy for me, so this won’t be hard.
Wing leads me to the class and before I can open the door, a twinky cat boy beats me to it.

“Gon, did you take my chocolate?”

“Nah.”

“Believable enough,” the twinky cat boy responds to his friend, who just so happens to have chocolate on his face. They both look at my deadpanned face and bored body on the floor. Just then, my nose starts bleeding from the impact of the door.

“Yo, hag, you’re on the floor,” the twink informs me.

“Oh, fr?”

“Fr.”

Suddenly, realization must’ve hit his friend, cause he offers my hand.

“Killua, you hit her with the door! Apologize,” his friend tells him, helping me up. Before, I can even try to get up, he yanks me up. WTF ARE THEY FEEDING THIS KID?!??!??

“Shi, my bad my bad,” Killua “apologizes” to me.

“Damn, (Name), you gonna let a 1st year disrespect you like that,” Wing asks.

“Stfu-”

“WAIT YOU’RE THE NEW GIRL!?!?!?” They both seem shocked.

“Yeah,” I respond, sounding confused.

“Wow, you’re not god butt fucking ugly,” Killua responds.

“And you’re, like, smart too! Despite being pretty! I’m Gon-”

“Hush, Gon! I’m Killua,” Killua purrs, introducing himself.

“Cool, ig?”

“So you have english with my brother? You poor girl,” Killua wishes me well. At this point, my nose is still badly bleeding and Wing is constantly changing my bloody tissues. Then walks by, a girl with pink hair in a ponytail.

“Yo, bloody girl. I’ve got a tampon in my bag, want it,” she asks, but she’s so fine, I can’t respond well.

“Ofc, mamas. I’m (Name),” I hold out my hand, forgetting it’s covered in blood.

“Machi,” the hottie responds, pushing my bloody hand out of her face and handing me a tampon.

“Thank you,”I respond, giving her a smile, but my face has smeared blood over it. Raising an eyebrow and slightly giggling, she walked away.

“I’ll miss you,” I reach a hand out towards her.

“Let us help you put that tampon up your nose, m’lady,” Gon responds, bowing.

“Nah, I think I’m good,” I say, but it’s too late and now they're trying to figure out how a tampon works.

“Gon, how does this shit work?”

“Idk, I think girls put it in to stop bloody qwueefs.”

“Word?”

“I think she can do it herself,” Wing jokes, taking the tampon from their hands and giving it back to me.

“Killua, who is this?” I look up to see the bug eyed twink I saw Saturday. But where’s his flashy bf?

“Who’s this yummy looking lady?”

Chapter Text

"Hisoka, stop being weird,” Illumi commanded of Hisoka.

“So, who are you? I’m Hisoka,” he said, taking my hand and giving it a kiss.

“Ew, a twink just kissed my hand,”I responded, retracting my hand.

“I’M NOT A TWINK, KYS,” Hisoka yelled at me.

“I mean, apologies, bbg. Swear on my momma, didn’t mean it,” he says, putting his hand on his heart.

“Oh hell nah,” Killua said.

“Can you guys, like, move? (Name) has class here,” Wing asked them, pushing Gon and Killua to the side gently.

“Oh, so you’re (Name)? I didn’t think an American like you would be smart enough to be in this class,” Illumi says.

“It’s literally a course option in America-”

“Hard to believe,” Illumi interrupts me.

“Istg this bitch,” I mumble and head into the classroom. Illumi follows in after having to practically throw Hisoka out of the room.

“Goodbye, my sweet (Name),” Hisoka yells, getting dragged away by a desk lady. We look up to see a weird looking no mouthed guy.

“Hello, my name is Mr Satotz,” the teacher introduces himself.

“How tf is he talking,” I mumble ask.

“Maybe he’s talking through his nipples,” the boy next to me says.

“I’m Shalnark,” the gay looking blonde boy introduces.

“(Name). When tf did you get here,” I introduce and ask.

“I sat down forever ago, you just suck at noticing,” Shalnark responds.

“Shalnark, (Name), shut up and open the book to 145,” Mr Satotz yells. I look down and see were reading Curious George.

“Wtf.”

“Don’t question it, Mr Satotz is dyslexic,” Shalnark informs me. I don’t think that’s how it works…

RINGGGGGGGGG

Finally, I can leave this class. I open the door and see Hisoka.

“Thank fuck, I waited for you and you too, Illumi, ig,” Hisoka says.

“I’m leaving,” I say, walking away.

“Don’t you need help finding your classes,” Hisoka asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“I think I’m good-”

“We’re here,” Illumi informs us, as we were now standing in front of my chemistry class.

“Ok? Bye,” I say, confused on how we got here. I walk in the class and sit at a desk. Looking up, I see Hisoka and Illumi waiting outside the door.

“GO AWAY!”

“But we’ll miss you,” Hisoka responds.

“FUCK OFF!” Finally, they leave. Just when I thought I was done with pervs and weirdos, this lanky dude walks up to me.

“Sup, babe, I’m Leorio,” the weirdo introduces. I silently sob into my hand, then turn to him.

“(Name), now can you please go away,” I ask. Ignoring my request, he sits down next to me.

“Hello, class. I’m your teacher, Ms. Tsubone. Today, you’ll have a lab,” the teacher tells us.

On the first day?

“Find a partner, you failures.”

“So, you wanna-”

“No, kys.” Leorio sulks, but doesnt give up. He takes the safety goggles and puts them on my face.

“Too bad, sweetheart,” he jokes, handing me a labcoat. Great. I grab the chemicals and get to work.

“You’re so hot when you’re concentrating, even hotter than whatever’s touching my hand.”

“LEORIO, YOUR HAND IS ON FIRE WTF DID YOU DO?!?!?!” I get my water bottle and take the lid off to pour on his hand.

“Thanks, babes. I was getting a bit thirsty,” Leorio thanks me, taking my water and drinking it.

“That was for your hand, dumbass!”

“Oh, shit, my bad.”

“LEORIO WTF!?!?” He then goes to a sink to wash off his hand.

“My hand feels so dry now,” Leorio yawns, drying off his hand.

“Just sit still and I’ll finish the lab. Jesus Christ,” I demand. Grabbing the chemicals, I hear Leorio’s voice.

“Yk, we're a lot like bleach and rubbing alcohol, we belong together.”

“LEORIO WTF YOU JUST MADE CHLOROFORM!”

After evicting the classroom, I contemplated if I should just say I’m sick so I can go home.

“Leorio, don’t EVER become a doctor,” I tell him, holding the lab coat tighter to my body.

“About that-”

“(NAME)!?!?!?”

Chapter Text

“(NAME)?!?!?!?” I look up and see my online friend, Ponzu.

“Oh, hey lol,” I responded, taking off the lab coat.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming to hunter high!?!?!?”

“Could’ve sworn I did,” I said, walking over to her.

“C’mon and take me to my next class, pookie,” I joke, latching onto her arm. We start to head to Algebra II, but next thing I know, she’s thrown at a wall and Hisoka is holding my hand in his, giving it a kiss, and offering me chocolates.

“WTF, HISOKA, THAT’S MY POOKIE BEAR,” I yell at Hisoka, running to Ponzu.

“That was actually Illumi who threw her,” Hisoka responds, looking in the direction of Ilumi, who was sticking a pin in Ponzu.

“Dawg, leave my secret gf alone,”I commanded.

“Mmm, too late she’s already walking to her next class,” Hisoka says.

“THAT’S BC ILLUMI IS CONTROLLING HER!!!”

“Don’t get mad, it’ll give you wrinkles. You want to stay young looking don’t you,” Hisoka asks.

“Right, cause you like em young, don’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“We’re here,” Illumi declares.

“HOW TF DO YOU DO THAT?’’

“Get in the class, (Name).”

I look around for a seat and sit next to a girl with bright blue hair.

“Hi, can I sit her-”

“Oh, ofc, pretty lady! I’m Neon! My dad’s the principal.”

Ok y/n I said in my head, rolling my eyes.

“Thanks. I’m (Name)-”

“Ik, I went through your records in my dad’s office. Ik all about you,” she says with an innocent smile. That’s not creepy at all…

“Oh, cool?”

“Sup, bitches. I’m your teacher, Zeno G” the teacher says, throwing up what I think was his impression of a gang sign, but it looked like he was making an asshole with his hand.

“Idrgaf what y’all do today, but do something,” he says, before leaving the class. I was gonna go to the library, but before I can go, Neon grabs my hand, whips out a bottle of nail polish and starts painting.

“Neon, they were literally already painted-”

“Well, they look better in this color,” Neon responds, finishing up my nails. I thought she was done with all this, but then she takes out a lipstick and starts to wipe off my lipstick.

“Neon, what the hell-”

“This’ll look better,” she says, grabbing my face and pulling me close. I look away, hating eye contact. My face was flustered and her bright blue eyed stare was making this borderline scary. She puts the lipstick down and inspects my lips.

“I put too much on, here I’ll fix it,” she says, leaning in to kiss me to transfer some of the product onto her.

“GET YOUR DIRTY RICH LIPS OFF HER!!!” Hisoka yells, running into the classroom and tackling me into a hug. My face is shoved into his big fat tits.

“Hisoka, do you actually ever go to class, or just stalk the halls,’’ I ask, but it was muffled in his chest. He let’s go of me and looks ready to fight Neon.

“How dare you, you homewrecker,” Hisoka yells.

“I’m just being friendly,” Neon responds.

“Too friendly, you bitch!” And thus, they fought.

“Oh hi, (Name),” Shalnark greets at the door.

“Hi, Shalnark. What’re you doing here,” I ask.

“Bathroom break,” he responds, showing me the bathroom pass. I nod my head and we both look at the fight. Just then the bell rings.

“We’re continuing this fight, first thing tomorrow. For (Name)’s love,” Hisoka says, fixing his outfit. Honestly, I was too tired to argue and just packed my bag.

“Bye, Shalnark, see ya tomorrow!” I yelled, running down the hallway.

“So, how was your first d-”

“Wing, car now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

We finally got home and I was beyond exhausted. I grabbed a book and changed into a swimsuit. I head down to the pool and grab a floaty to sit in. Getting into the floaty, I open my book and start reading.

“Nice ass.”

“HISOKA, WTF! DID YOU FOLLOW ME HOME!?!?!?”

“Yuh :3”

“GET OUT!!”

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

“GET OUT!!!”

“But I like the view. :3”

“I’m calling the cops,” I say, grabbing my phone.

“No need for that, sweetie,” Hisoka said, jumping over the fence.

“If you’re gonna be here, get me a drink, bitch,” I say, putting my sunglasses back on. All of the sudden, the drink appears out of thin air.

“Wtf-”

“Drink up,” Hisoka demands, appearing right next to me and putting the drink up to my mouth.

“I can drink it myself,” I say, taking the drink out of his hand. We both hear a rumble behind the bushes and look up.

“Hisoka, Chrollo is calling us to a meeting,” Illumi says, getting out from behind the bushes.

“Oh, hello (Name), do you live here,” Illumi asks, whipping the leaves off his arm.

“Hi, Illumi. Yeah, I live here,” I answer as nicely as I can, but I’m getting kinda tired of these two following me.

“That’s interesting. Anyways, come on, Hisoka,” Illumi demands, picking up Hisoka and throwing him over his shoulder.
Wtf are they feeding the mfers of this country?

“She has a nice ass.”

“She really does!” they both whisper, walking off.

“I can hear you.”

“Nah uh.”

They both walk off or well, Illumi walked off with Hisoka on his shoulder kicking and screaming like a child. Soon Wing walked out to tell me dinner was ready and I put a shirt over my swim suit.

“(Name), what’s your workout routine,” One of Wing’s Mothers, Suzume, asked, taking a bite of her food. Before I could answer, Suzume interrupted me.

“Oh, I’m just kidding, dear. I wish I was as young and good looking as you,” she jokes.

“Sweetie, you’re still very attractive in my eyes,” Chiyoko responds, complimenting her wife. They both start teasing each other and flirting back and forth.

“I think I lost my appetite.”

“Me too.”

Wing and I both head to our rooms, feeling nauseated from their flirting.

“So, what did you think of the school, (Name),” Wing asks me.

“There’s so many twinks, I want to die,” I say, looking a little traumatized.

“No need to call me out,” Wing jokes, putting his hand on his hip and flipping his hair.

“I’m going to bed, goodnight, twinky pop,” I announce, about to close the door on his face, but he looks like he wants to say something.

“Yk, (Name), you’re a really nice person, and you’re really pretty and hot,” he says. His face gets a little red after realizing what he said.

“I didn’t mean that in a creepy way, I meant it in a friendly roommate way-”

“Wing, it’s okay. And don’t worry, you’re hot too,” I joke, closing the door. I get into my cozy pj’s then step into bed. Getting snug as a bug in a rug, I feel a weight next to me.

“Hey, pookie dookie.”

“GO AWAY HISOKA!”

“But, bookie,” he defends, playing with a strand of my hair.

“Go away you fart sucker,” I say, pushing him away.

“Meanie,” he responds. He walks up to my window and faces me before falling out of my window like a vampire would.

Wtf

The next day, I wake up to my blaring alarm clock playing the MLP theme song.

“Fuck off, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” I hit my alarm clock and get ready for school. Walking downstairs, I see Suzume and Chiyoko with a thermometer filled Wing.

“Yo, twink. You good?”

“Dear (Name), it appears our twinky son has caught a cold,” Suzume informs me.

“Hunny, can you get to school on your own,” Chiyoko asks me.

“Yup. Wing, get better before I start rumors about you,”I say, taking the car keys. I start to drive to school and see a limo following me.

Are they headed the same way? I think, looking in the rear view mirror. I pull up to the school with the limo still following me. Getting out of the car, I straighten my outfit and grab my bag. I see Killua,
Gon, Illumi, Hisoka, and two other people stepping out of the limo, then Killua and Gon start walking towards me.

“Sup, (Name). Where’s Wing,” Killua asks, peeking into my car.

“His bitchass caught a cold,” I say, locking the car.

“So, you need help finding your classes today,” Gon asks, checking the car out.

“I mean, sure but I could probably find my way around the school,” I tell them as we start walking to the school door.

“So, you mean to tell me, you, (Name), are fine with finding your classes around a school you’re barely familiar with, that just so happens to have Hisoka in it,” Killua asks me.

“Yk what, I wanted your help anyways. Speaking of Hisoka, I can’t believe you guys were fine with driving him to school,” I respond.

“We weren’t. Gon wanted some fresh air and lowered the window, then Hisoka jumped through the window,” Killua informs me.

“So, (Name), if you’re older than us, do we have to call you (Name)-senpai,” Gon asks.

“Yeah, don’t call me that. I’m not really used to it,” I tell them.

We walk inside and they lead me to my next class, Art. I wave them off and sit next to a tall woman with short blonde hair.

“Is this seat taken,” I ask.

“Of course not, (Name).”

“Excuse me?”

Chapter Text

1st Person Pov:

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, my friend, Shalnark, mentioned you, but he didn’t mention just how hot you are or that fat ass,” the girl responded, but mumbled the last part. Sitting down on my fat ass, she sticks her hand out towards me.

“I’m Pakunoda, sorry to creep you out like that,” she introduces, leaning back a little to look at my fat ass. Anyways. The teacher walks in and he looks very very weird, deformed, ugly, awful, hideous, beastly, gross, frightful, horrid, monstrous, revolting, foul, and unsightly.

“ELLO LADS, I’M YA TEACHER, MR PIKE,” he yells in a heavy British accent. Oh lord. Pakunoda and I slowly turn to each other in fear.

“He’s a brit.” We both speak at the same time. He didn’t give us any assignments and just turned PBS kids on, because he thought that would entertain us. A kid starts to walk up to his desk and whispers something.

“CAN YOU USE THE BATHROOM? CAN YOU USE THE BATHROOM!?!?!?! NEVER IN MY 20000000 YEARS OF TEACHING HAVE I HEARD SUCH BLOODY BLASPHEMY. HOW DARE YOU?!?!? IT’S CALLED ‘THE LOO’ YOU BLOODY SLAG!!!” The kid went back to his desk after that and started sobbing like a little bitch. Pakunoda and I quietly went back to whatever we were doing so Mr. Pike wouldn’t yell at us too.

We heard the bell ring and Pakunoda grabbed my hand then ran out of there, still afraid of the Br*t.

“We made it out,” Pakunoda tells me, still holding my hand.

“Istg he looked at me like he wanted to rematch the Revolutionary War,” I responded, out of breath from the war. (Edit, I meant the run 💀)

“Pakunoda, Skank, what are you doing with my pookie,” Hisoka asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Fuck off you man whore, what are you even wearing anyways,” Pakunoda looks at Hisoka, who was wearing a cropped top that said ‘Top Me’, low waisted jeans, and a pink thong.

“I’m serving cunt, bitch” Hisoka responds.

“More like serving slut, you look like a prostitute,” I respond, judging how high his thong goes. That’s gotta hurt, right? Yk what, he probably enjoys the pain of it.

“Pakunoda and I are gonna be late to our next class, so move, Tramp,” I say, leading Pakunoda away. Looking at my schedule, I see I have PE next and mentally cried. Unfortunately, Pakunoda didn’t have PE with me and we had to go our separate ways. :C

I walk into the gym, after looking for a few minutes.

“(Last Name), you’re late,” the teacher says, calling me out in front of the class.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the gym,” I say, trying to defend myself.

“Whatever, just don’t make the same mistake again,” the teacher demands.

“Alright class, I’m your teacher, Mr Razor. Go get dressed for class,” his dismissed us into the locker room. I start to head down to the lockers and see the pink haired girl who offered me a tampon on the first day.

“Machi, was it,” I ask, taking my shirt off and grabbing my extra shirt. Luckily, we didn’t have a PE uniform, all we had to wear was athletic clothes. Problem was, I don’t fuck with sports, so I didn’t have that many exercise clothes.

“Yeah, what’s it to ya,” Machi responds, putting her exercise shirt on.

“I just recognized you from the first day, that’s all” I defend, putting my shorts on. Turning around and putting my clothes into one of the lockers, I feel someone smack my fat ass. ((Name)’s ass is becoming an icon in this story)

“Okay, body goals. What’s the workout routine,” the girl behind me asked. She had greenish-blue hair wrapped in several red bandages.

“Babes, what,” I asked, looking down at her hands that were STILL on my butt.

“Just kidding, mamas. I’m Menchi,” she introduces.

“The teacher mentioned something about dodgeball, wanna be on the same team,” Menchi asked, finally taking her hands off my butt.

“Sure ig,” I respond. Not like anyone on the other team will want me.

“What about you, Machi,” Menchi asked, turning to Machi with a smirk.

“Fine, but I’m only joining so you keep your pervy little hands off her,” Machi responds, taking my hand and dragging me back to the gym. Menchi giggles a little, following us to the gym.

The teams were split two ways, like every single dodgeball game in the world. On one side, it was me, Menchi, Machi, some kid with a black bowl cut that didn’t look old enough to be here, a bald dude, a lanky dude with chin length brunette hair, and some other randos. On the other side were some other randos, but there were a few that stood out to me, like the guy with the shiniest bald head I’ve ever seen and a girl with pink hair in two large pig tails.

“Alright, take your places,” Mr Razor told us. He then blew the whistle and everyone ran to get a ball. I stood back, I didn’t wanna stand out too much. Within 5 minutes, my team managed to get everyone down except the two that stood out to me.

“(Name), quickly, get a ball,” Menchi yelled out to me. Rolling my eyes, I went to pick up a ball and bent down.

“Yk, I like seeing you from this angle,” Menchi teased, standing behind me.

“SHUT UP!”

“Damn, you got stuck with the Menchi-Machi duo,” the bald guy said, looking at me. I raised an eyebrow, hinting at him to continue.

“They’re great at sports, but they don’t really care about their teammates, so I don’t know why they’ve been protecting someone like you this entire time,” he insults me, laughing a little at the end. He then threw a ball at me, but Menchi threw herself in front of me, sacrificing herself.

“MENCHI, NO!”

“(N-Name), I can’t go on like this anymore, go on without me,” she reached a hand to me, resting in my arms, “Avenge me, please, (Name). I think I’m fading away, so win the game in my name,” Menchi says, slowly passing out?

“WTF?!?”

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

I hold Menchi’s unconscious body in my arms bc I’m strong like that.

“DAWG WTF, COULDN’T YOU HAVE THROWN IT AT SOMEONE ELSE?!?!?” I yell out. Unfortunately his bald ass threw the ball at me with NO hesitation.

“Omfg, this bitch,” I curse, closing my eyes waiting for the impact of the ball.

“Calm your bald tits down, she didn’t do anything to you,” some brunette guy said, holding the ball that was thrown my way.

“I caught it, so your lame ass has to sit out,” brunette dude responded, looking at bald man.

“I’m Sedokan,” the malnourished brunette guy introduced, looking in my direction.

“(Name),” I introduce, standing up and dropping Menchi in the process.

“OW????”

“Ignore her,” I reply. He looks the only normal person here and he’s lowkey fine, but in a twinky way. (Got a love-hate relationship with twinks)

“Jesus Christ, Sedokan. Keep it in your pants! Leave that poor girl alone, she’s not gonna let you hit!” We both look over to see a girl with pink hair in pigtails. He blushes slightly then rolls his eyes. Who said I wasn’t gonna let him hit?

“I’m Leroute,” the pink girl greets me, throwing the ball at Sedokan.

“I was just saying hi,” Sedokan defended, falling backwards after getting hit.

“Whore,” Leroute mumbles, looking at Sedokan.

“Ignore him, he’s desperate for attention,” Leroute informs me.

“Yk, you’re like hot asf. I can see why his twink ass wants you,” she says, accidentally dropping the ball on my side of the court.

“Oh, here. Lemme get that for you,” I say, walking in the direction of where the ball landed and bending over.

“GOD DAYUMMMMMM, shit, mamas, you single,” Leroute yells out, flabbergasted at the size of my fat juicy ass.

“ENOUGH!!!” At this point, I wanted someone to get me outta this game, but my team was winning.

“Hey, buv. Can you tag me out,” I asked some random person, tapping their shoulder.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” They then threw the ball at me. Finally! Walking away I see Machi and Leroute getting competitive.

“Bitch, I’m gonna get you out,” Leroute informed Machi.

“Is it because I’m a dyke,” Machi asked. (I’M A LESBIAN DON’T CANCEL ME)

“Yeah.”

They then threw a bunch of dodgeballs at each other.

“Yk, Machi, you’re really good at this. I bet it’s cause you’re used to dodging balls, lesbo,” Leroute joked. (ONCE AGAIN I’M A LESBIAN DON’T CANCEL ME THEY’RE BOTH LESBIANS IN THIS STORY)

“KYS BITCH!”

Timeskip to after PE:

After what felt like eternity, Machi won and Leroute ran out screaming something about, “I still want (Name).” I got dressed back into my regular clothes and started heading to lunch. I usually sit with Wing but since his loser hot ass is sick, I have to figure where I’m gonna sit. I was thinking about sitting at the library, but they wouldn’t allow food in there, so that’s off the list. Maybe the roof? Walking towards the roof, I see Shalnark running towards me.

“(NAME) (NAME)!!” He yelled out.

“Shal, calm your booty cheeks down, why are you running and yelling,” I ask him, patting him on the back while he catches his breath.

“My friends and I were going to see the Barbie movie later, I was wondering if you wanna come along,” he asked, stopping between words and catching his breath.

“OFC I’LL COME ALONG I LOVE BARBIE AND MARGOT ROBBIE!!!” I yelled out in excitement.

“That’s great! Wait, where’s your boy toy,” he asked, looking up and looking for Wing.

“His twink ass is sick,” I respond, rolling my eyes.

“Oh! So do you wanna sit with me and my friends,” Shalnark asked me.

“Sure, why not,” I say, expecting them to be good people. He grabbed my hand and started leading me towards the back of the school bc that’s not creepy one bit!

“Shal, what’s with the creepy dark back of the school alley,” I ask, looking around for the tiniest bit of sunlight since it was so dark and secluded.

“Don’t worry about it, (Name),” he reasures me, but it wasn’t reassuring, it was creepy asf. He keeps dragging me to the back of the school. Granted, I’m strong and buff asf, so I could win if he tried to attack me.

“Damn, who’s this hot lady,” some weird blonde dude yelled out.

“You don’t have eyebrows, you know that right?” I ask him, pointing at his non-existant eyebrows.

“STFU!”

“LMAOOAGTBYNI”

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

“So was that a personal choice or did you lose a bet,” I ask, pointing at his non-existent eyebrows.

“It’s just genetics,” the weirdo yells at me.

“That’s some fucked up genetics,” I whisper.

“ANYWAYS, (Name), this is Phinks, Feitan, Franklin, Nobunaga, Kortopi, Shizuku, Bonolenov, Uvogin, Pakunoda, and Machi,” Shalnark introduces them.

“Yeah, I know some of them,” I reply, looking at Machi and Pakunoda.

“I thought you had more members than this,” I ask, looking around.

“Well, we do, but the boss is running late, Hisoka and Illumi are banned from eating lunch with us, and our other member is a middle schooler,” Shalnark informs me.

Your other member is a WHAT????

“I’m sorry, you have a little boy in your group? WITH HISOKA,” I yell out.

“Yk, it made some sort of sense at the time,” Shalnark replies, putting a finger up to his chin.

“Hey, d riders, I’m here.” Looking at the source of the voice, I see, who I think is their leader.

“Who’s this,” he asks, looking at me.

“I’m (Name),” I introduce.

“Oh, I’ve seen you around the school before! I also saw you breathe around a Metallica poster before, NAME 10000000 SONGS RIGHT NOW,” he yelled out at me.

“Are you shitting my dick rn,” I ask, deadpanning.

“OMG, YOU’RE SO HILARIOUS,” he then started bursting out laughing.

“Nah, jit’s d riding the new girl,” Feitan mumbled to Phinks.

“I’m Chrollo, lemme know if you ever NEED me,” he introduces.

Wtf? Why’s he bipolar?

“Now, shoo, my sweet darling. Go, so I can move on,” he commands, pointing to the exit.

“Ok-”

“No, stay, my love. For I cannot LIVEEE without your beauty. I’ll die if I have to have my princess leave me,” he yells out, grabbing my hand.

“Damn, must suck,” I reply, retracting my hand and walking away.

“I love to see you go, but I hate watching you leave,” Chrollo whispers.

Wtf is up with these people?
I decided to go to the only place I could get any peace. The Library.

Finally, some place away from these weirdos.

“Hey, (Name)-”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!” Jumping back after getting startled, I see some weird guy.

“Do I know you,” I ask, looking him up and down.

“Oh, my friend, Ponzu talks about you a lot! I’m Pokkle,” he introduces, stepping back to give me some space.

“What does she say,” I ask, a little afraid of his response.

“Well, she says you’re funny, pretty, occasionally smart, and you have a nice ass,” he mumbles that last part, but I hear it.

“I get that a lot,” I inform him, rolling my eyes.

“Well, she means it in a nice way,” he defends, waving his hands around in defense.

“Sure, anyways, do you know where the manga section is,” I ask him, looking around.

“Oh, over here,” he leads the way, dragging me by the hand.

Did nobody teach the guys here manners?

I accidentally forgot that I promised Shalnark that I'd go with him to the Barbie movie after school.

“Hey, (Name), are you ready,” Shalnark asks, waving over to me in his very much full car.

“Actually, I need to change into something pink, so I’ll meet you at the theater,” I yell back, walking towards my car.

“Okay, see you then!” He then drove off, while the people in his back seat were playing shadow boxing.

Driving to the theater after I got my pink on, I see that the parking lot was FULLL.
Great.

After finally finding a parking spot, I went towards the entrance.

“Please, let me,” Chrollo demanded, opening the door for me after appearing out of nowhere.

“Uh, thanks?” I walked inside, looking back at Chrollo to see what he was doing.

“Gawd dayum,” he whispered, looking at my ass.

Can’t catch a break for a single second.

“1, ticket for the Barbie Movie, please,” I request, looking up at the cashier.

“Ponzu, you work here,” I ask her.

“Had to get a job somewhere,” she replies, handing me my ticket.

“Are they hiring,” I question, wondering if maybe I should apply to work here.

“Yeah, they’re desperate for workers. Theater 5 to your left,” she answers, pointing to the theater.

Damn, I could use a job.

Walking into the theater, I look around for Shalnark.

Where is his twink ass?

“(Name), up here,” Shalnark yells out, jumping up and down, waving his hands. Walking towards where they are, I feel someone pick me up princess style.

“Wtf, dawg-”

“How dare you make her walk, Shalnark!?!? Have you no shame? Her precious perfect feet should NEVER have to touch such a floor as dirty and foul as this,” Chrollo yells out, carrying me up to the seats.

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

BARBIE MOVIE SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT:

“You’re so brave, Ken.”

“Thank you, Barbie. Yk surfing isn’t even my job, my job is actually just… beach.”

“This is so us,” Chrollo said, tapping my shoulder.

The worst mistake I could’ve made was sitting next to him.

He better keep that same Kenergy for the end of the movie.

I had seen the movie a few days ago, so I knew what was going to happen, but seeing it again was fine by me.

“Machi, can we switch seats,” I whisper to her, hoping Chrollo doesn’t hear. She raised an eyebrow at first, but looked up at Chrollo who had a weird lovesick look in his eyes and nodded.

After switching seats, I turned to Shalnark to ask him something.

“Hey, Shal, if I’m your plus one, where’s everybody else’s,” I ask, keeping my voice quiet.

“Honestly, I invited you because Feitan was too scared to ask you. Lil Emo man has a crush, I think,” he responds.

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

“Lil Emo man was too afraid to ask ME out,” I ask, sounding doubtful.

“Yup,” Shalnark responds, throwing a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

“What’re you guys talking about,” Chrollo asked, kicking his legs back and forth and playing with my shirt sleeve.

“Boss, get your ass off me,” Machi demanded, looking down at Chrollo who was laid across her lap so he could talk to us.

“Just talking about the movie,” I respond, looking weirded out by how close he is.

“That’s just great. Here, lemme just-” Chrollo than swam over Machis lap and pushed Shalnark out of his seat and sat down.

“Omfg.”

“Much better,” Chrollo told me, whipping some candy off him.

“Hungry,” he asked me, taking Shalnarks popcorn out of his hand and pointing it in my direction.

“I’m good,” I tell him, pushing the bucket away and looking towards Shalnark to see if he was okay.

“Don’t worry about him, just focus on the movie,” Chrollo told me, putting a finger on my chin and pushing my face towards the screen, or at least that would’ve happened if it weren’t for the fact his finger slipped and poked me in the throat, causing my to choke on my drink.

“Oh no, you’re choking, time to give you mouth to mouth,” Chrollo joked, leaning towards my face.

“Move it,” Pakunoda pushed him out the way, getting behind me and started doing the heimlich maneuver.

This is so humiliating.

“She needs cpr, dumbass!”

“The last thing she needs is your lips on her, Boss.”

“Jesus Christ, everyone move it,” a handsome man with long silver hair said, pushing them out of the way.

Yk, maybe today didn’t suck. I got mouth to mouth from a beautiful man named Kite. Oh yeah, I’m now in the hospital bc when you get cpr, your rib cage has to be broken.

“Well, good news Ms. (Last Name), he did fortunately not break your ribs, but you still have to rest up since you’ll be in pain for a while. So, that means you don’t have to participate in pe for the week,” the doctor informed me, handing me a doctors note and discharge papers.

Not even through the first week and I’m in the hospital.

“Ms. (Last Name), you have some visitors,” the nurse told me. I just nodded my head as a way of telling him to send the visitors in.

“(NAME), THANK GOD, YOU’RE ALIVE! I THOUGHT I MIGHT NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN,” before I could even see the visitors, Chrollo was hugging me and sobbing.

“Tits on Christ. GO AWAY,” I yelled at him.

“I love you too, dear,” Chrollo responded, snuggling his cheek onto my cheek.

“Hi, (Name),” Machi interrupted, holding a vase of flowers, while the other members held a large banner saying, “We’re sorry.”

They didn’t do anything, it was all Chrollos fault.

“Hi, Machi,” I responded, smiling her way. The rest of them entered the room, avoiding eye contact bc it was really awkward having their leader crying on me.

“Alright, boss, we have to leav-”

“NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR SOULMATE DYING, INJURED, BARELY ALIVE,” Chrollo yelled at them, clinging onto my arm.

“Chrollo, let go,” Pakunoda demanded.

“No.”

“Chrollo, let go now.”

“No-” Pakunoda then got out a spray bottle.

“Down boy, DOWN! You bad bad boy,” Pakunoda scolded, still spraying Chrollo who was running away at this point.

“(Name), you’re free to go,” the nurse told me, leading the Troupe out so I could change.

Finally.

Walking outside, I see a familiar limo and familiar little cat twink standing next to it.

“Illumi heard what happened and demanded we drive you back to your place,” Killua informed me, rolling his eyes at the mention of his brother.

“You sure it was your brother who demanded to drive me home,” I ask, opening the door.

“SHUT UP! Just get in the car,” Killua yelled out, pushing me into the car.

“Hey, I’m still injured, be careful,” I told him.

“Bitch, man up, omfg.”

The ride wasn’t as awkward as I thought it was going to be. Well, if you ignore Illumi’s constant staring and questions.

“Did Chrollo kiss yo-”

“Would you look at that, we’re here,” I interrupted, opening my door and stepping out.

“(Name), we’re not done with the questions-”

“Thanks for the ride! See ya tomorrow,” I yelled out, running towards the front door.

Closing the door behind me as fast as I could, I let out a sigh.

“(NAME), SWEETIE ARE YOU OKAY?”

“Give her space, dear. (NAME) WHAT HAPPENED??!?!??”

“(Name), where tf have you been?”

The last thing I needed was to be bombarded with questions.

“I’ll explain at dinner, right now I need to rest up, doctor’s words,” I replied, sneaking up the stairs.

I need to lie down, my back hurts.

“(Name),” Wing said, standing at my door.

“Go awayyyyyyy.”

“Why would you hang out with the Troupe? Yk they’re bad people,” Wing asked, sitting on the bed and pulling my head onto his lap.

“They’re not as bad as people say. They’re a lot nicer when you get to know them,” I responded, feeling his hand play with my hair.

“You need to distance yourself from them or it’ll get worse,” Wing instructed, putting a piece of hair behind my ear.

Is he actually trying to manipulate me rn?

“But-”

“But nothing, I want what’s best for your safety and most importantly, you,” he interrupted.

Ig he is.

“Sure,” I told him, lying.

“Good girl, now get some rest,” he told me, getting up and leaving.

Picking my phone up, I called a friend.

“Yeah, Neon, would you mind if I stayed at your place tonight? No reason, just wanted some girl time, yk?”

There was suddenly this new side of Wing that I did not want to deal with now.

Chapter Text

1ST PERSON POV:

While sneaking over to Neon’s house, I almost broke my leg trying to climb down from my room.
How long will it take Wing to notice I’m gone?
Looking up at the window where I just struggled to get out of, I hear a car pull up.

“(Name), I take it? Madame Neon requested we drive you to her house,” the driver said as another man opened the door for me.

“(Name), get in. I can’t wait to start our girls night,” Neon loudly proclaimed, sticking her head out the window.

“Neon, keep it down. How did you even know where I live,” I asked her, stepping into the car.

“Don’t worry abt it, pookie,” Neon replied.

It was an awkward car ride to not her house, but her fucking MANSION.

“Neon, tf you need a house this big for,” I asked.

“Well, I need something to hold all my clothes,” Neon replied.

Omfg, she ate that up.

After giving me the long ass tour of her MANSION, Neon showed me to her room.

“Nice room,” I complimented, impressed by the size of her room.

“Thanks, pookie. My maids will be up soon to drop off your bag,” Neon informs me.

I could’ve brought my own bag up, but okay ig?

After her maids brought up my bag, we started doing each other's nails and talking shit about our classmates while Clueless played in the background.

“Right, and like, listen, Hisoka has a fatty, but he also has more red flags and crimes committed than a fat juicy ass can make up for! Like, if you committed crimes, I wouldn’t blame you cause you have a fat ass and you’re just a silly teenage girl, so like it’s bound to happen that you break a few laws. Yk,” Neon asked, taking the nail polish and applying a base coat.

“LITERALLY! Like, Idk how ppl excuse his behavior,” I reply.

“And he’s ugly to-”

“Ladies, can you PLEASE stfu,” Neon’s Dad asked, walking in.

“Fine, dad,” Neon answered, cleaning up the mess and getting ready for bed.

After an hour of lying in bed and making headcannons abt how fast Chuuya can twerk (It’s 300 mph), we went to bed.

“Good day, m’ladies. It is 6 am, time to wake up,” One of the butlers told us, waking us up.

We struggled to get up, since her bed was BEYOND comfy.

“Neon, we gotta get up,” I inform her in a groggy voice, pulling her arm.

“Go away….,” Neon cried. So, I did the only logical thing, and started blasting the Lego Batman Soundtrack in her ear.

“OMFG, THIS IS MY SHIT!”

“YOUNG LADIES KEEP IT DOWN”

“Sorry, Dad :3”

Then, there was the awkward limo ride, AGAIN.

“So Ms. (Last Name), what do you like to do,” Neon’s Dad asked.

“Read.”

“Read what?”

“Don’t worry abt that.”

We FINALLY made it to school.

“Goodbye, Dad!”

“Goodbye, Neon’s Dad!”

As we started walking towards the door, I noticed many people looking at us. Looking to Neon, who was holding onto my arm, I open the door for her and we walk in.

“They think we’re dating, don’t they?”

“Most definitely,” Neon answers, giggling while snuggling into my arm more.

Greatttttt.

“(NAME), WTF ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!?!?”

Not even 2 seconds into the building and Hisoka’s already harassing me.

“Hey, Hisoka-”

“DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, YOU HARLET!”

“Stop whining, (Name) just prefers me over your creepy ass,” Neon jokes.

I don’t have time for this, I gotta get to class.

“Bye, Neon.”

“Bye bye, (Name) :3. Anyways, as I was saying. SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T LIKE YOU,” Neon started cursing at Hisoka.

While walking to 1st hour, all I could hear was their shouts in the background.

“I HAVE THE FATTER ASS!”

“YOUR ASS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO (NAME)’S!”

“THIS IS WHY YOUR DADDY HATES YOUR SPOILED ASS!”

“AT LEAST I HAVE A DAD! YOUR PARENTS PROBABLY HAD A HEART ATTACK AT THE SIGHT Of YOU AFTER YOU WERE BORN, YOU FUCKING ORPHAN!”

I love AP English :3.

“(Name) we have a substitute,” one of my classmates informs me. I think their name was Canary.

“Who’s subbing for us today,” I ask her, putting my bag near my seat.

“I don’t actually kno-”

“WHATS GOOD HOES?” Looking towards the source of the loud voice, I see our substitute.

“Yo, bitches. I’m Mr. List, but y’all can call me Mr. Pimp.”

There’s no way this little ass boy is our sub for the day.

“Oh no! It’s Mr. Pimp, the man involed in 300 gangs and killed 200,000 people,” someone said, but I feel like “Mr.Pimp '' paid him to say that.

Lowkey, wouldn’t even be surprised at this point if either of those things were true.

“Ok, non-pimps, Ima take attendance,” Mr.List announces, skipping over to his desk, like a little lad would.

“I give up,” I say, sitting next to Canary, who was also in disbelief at the sight of our sub.

“(Name), (Last Name)?”

“Here.”

“That’s a bitchass name, if my parents named me that, I would never show up to school and kms,” Mr. List says.

“Oh, I definitely have that in mind now,” I mumble.

“Good, bc NOBODY should have to live with an atrocious name like that,” Mr. List responds.

“Alright, next. Canary?”

“Here.”

“Nice name, I fw it.”

“Thank you, Mr. List.”

At this point, I was tired and rested my head.

“Tf you relaxing for, (Last Name)? Bitch, y’all gotta read 29 pages of Shakespere and say your opinion on it,” Mr. List asks, calling me out.

Rolling my eyes, I take the packet that was passed back. Looking over it, I notice something is off.

“Mr. List, this is just someone’s MLP fursona?”

“It’s my fursona, dumb bitch.”

“Oh.”

“And what do y’all think abt it :3?”

Chapter Text

1st person POV:

“It’s cool, I guess?”
“Ikr.”

Jesus Christ, this man is insane.

I look up at the clock and see I have 15 minutes remaining. Groaning, I turn to Canary, who is deadass ANNOTATING his fursona.

“Canary, we don’t actually have to do that,” I whisper.

“Ik, but I don’t want him to throw a chair at me,” Canary replies, using her pencil to point at Mr.List, who was throwing chairs at students who didn’t like his fursona.

“...” I then take my pencil and start annotating his fursona.

BRIIIIIIIIIIIIING BRINNNNNNNNNNNG

I start walking to my next class, Nen Training.

Room 2217?

Looking up at the sign, I see the numbers match up. As I sit in a random spot, I see my teacher for the day.

“Hello, class. I’m your substitute, Mr. Hill. I usually teach personal finance and economics, however, your teacher called in sick. Today will mostly consist of a study hall, so work on other class work, while I take role call,” he announces.

Immediately, I could tell this hour was going to be awful.

“Shit, he could teach me some personal things.”

“Fr, like, might need some extra credit after school.”

All I could hear were boys and girls talking about his “hot appearance.”

“(Name)?”

“...”

“Is (Name) (Last Name) here?”

“Here.”

I had to tone everyone out, so I didn’t hear him call my name out.

“So, you’re (Name),” the girl next to me asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Kurapika talks about you a lot,” she informs me.

“Um, who are you,” I ask.

“Baise. I work with Kurapika at the mall,” she introduces.

“Is it fun working there? I’ve been looking for a job recently,” I ask.

“It’s decent. You work long hours, but not as long as movie theater workers.”

“How much do you make an hour,” I question.

“$16.50 an hour, but that’s just where I work. You should put an application in for Popular Materials, you’ll fit right in” Baise suggests, looking me up and down. (Popular Materials is a parody of Hot Topic)

She thinks I’m emo, doesn’t she?

(Another side note, while I don’t choose what you wear and what music you listen to, it will be majorly hinted at that you switch between Goth and Emo style/music)

Before I can get another word in, someone slams the door open.

Is that Feitan?

He throws his tardy pass at the sub and looks around. While everyone is whispering about what he just did, he makes eye contact with me and heads in my direction.

Go away! Don’t draw attention to me!

Everyone keeps whispering while switching between looking at me and looking at him.

Stop looking at me!

Too late. He pulled a chair out from under someone and placed it next to mine. While the other person glared at him from the floor, I tried to maintain eye contact with Baise and ignore him.

“Anyways, if Popular Materials doesn’t work out, try Jasons,” Baise recommends, getting the hint I’m ignoring him. (Jasons is a parody of Spencers)

“Yeah, there’s nothing I’d love more than to be surrounded by vibrators,” I joke. Baise seems to lighten up and relax.

“And with the Workers’ Discount, you can get a bunch of Rose Toy-”

“Shut up, bitch,” Feitan interrupts. We both try to ignore him, but then I feel my weight shift.

This man, deadass, picked up my chair and turned it towards him. Now, I’m extremely close to him.

“Feitan, can I move my seat a little? Our chairs are REALLY close,” I ask, still shocked that he moved my chair.

“No. You have enough room,” Feitan replies. Looking down, I see how close our chairs are.

Jesus Christ, we’re practically scissoring!

“Yeah, but I’d like a little room. Yk, personal space,” I joke.

“No. You no need room,” Feitan answers in broken English.

Oh my god. He’s fucking stubborn.

“You want Popular Materials work?”

“Huh?”

“You want work there,” Feitan asks.

“I’d definitely consider it, yeah,” I reply.

“I work there,” Feitan informs me.

Oh my god, maybe he could put in a good word for me?

“Really?”

“Yeah. You want job,” he asks.

“I mean, yeah! But, like, I want to try Jasons first,” I answer.

“Jasons is shit. If you want dildo, I’ll but it. Work with me,” Feitan demands.

“You’ll deadass buy me something from Jasons,” I ask, shocked at his reply.

“I buy you years worth of toys.”

“Really!?!?!”

I got a little too excited at the idea, but c’mon, a girls gotta buzz one out from time to time.

“Yeah, just work with me,” Feitan says, saying it like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“Let me think about it,” I reply with a big smile on my face.

“I take you to mall after school.”

“Wait, what,” I ask.

“Horny Girl wants horny stuff. I want Horny Girl to work with me. I buy Horny Girl horny stuff,” he responds, looking at me with a questioning look.

“Keep it down,” I whisper-yell.

“Don’t call me that,” I tell him.

“Whatever, Horny Girl.”

He grabs a notebook from his backpack and hands me a pen.

“Write phone number,” Feitan demands, pointing to a spot in his book. Looking closely, I see this isn’t a notebook, it’s a HIGHLY annotated Chinese Character translated cover of a book. I look up at the chapter title and I recognise the title.

The Tell-Tale Heart? This MF is reading the sexiest book ever made. I love Edgar Allen Poe :3

“You a big fan,” I ask him, writing my number down.

“You read? I thought you were dumb. You like his books,” Feitan asked, guienly shocked I’m not god-butt-fucking stupid.

“Yes, Feitan. I’m not a total fuckup.”

“Shocking!”

Chapter Text

1st Person Pov:

TW: Pedophilia, Student-teacher talked abt, I obv don’t condone any of this but it’s a yan story, so it will contain weird things like Pedophilia

As much as I loved talking to Feitan abt Edgar Allen Poe, I still had 3 more classes to finish before I could go the the mall with him.

“2 minutes left, class. (Name), I’ll have to see you after class,” Mr. Pariston called out, staring at me with predatory eyes.

Bruv, there’s 2 minutes left, fuck off. You’re legit a sub, wtf do we need to talk abt?

“Feitan, I’ll see you after school,” I tell him, handing his book back to him.

“Bye, Horny Girl,” Feitan whispered, putting his headphones on and walking away.

Walking towards Mr. Pariston’s seat, I felt immensely uncomfortable.

“Hello, (Name). I think I need to discuss the seating chart with your teacher.”

“What? Why,” I ask.

“You're the only person who’s been able to sit next to Feitan without having a mental breakdown. He’s taken a liking towards you, and I’m worried for your safety,” he tells me.

“Excuse me?”

“You two are adorable together! However, I’m just concerned he’ll try to like stab you in the gut or somethi-”

“He and I get along fine,” I reply in an upset tone.

“Alright, well if you need ANY help, let me know,” Mr. Pariston demands, putting his hand on my arm.

“Yeah, bye,” I answer, pushing his arm off.

Wtf was that?

“(Name),” Feitan whispered, grabbing my arm aggressively.

“Tits on Christ! I almost shit myself to death,” I yelled out, shocked by his presence.

“He make you feel icky?”

“Yeah, but I think it’s just a blonde twink thing,” I answer.

“Shalnark is no as creepy like him. Shalnark is weird though,” Feitan informs me.

“Don’t talk shit abt your homeboy like that,” I tell him.

“Well, I walk you to class.”

“It’s 3 stories up and across the other side of the building,” I inform him.

“I have stamina.”

“Shit let's test that ou-”

“Ms. (Last Name), please keep your perverted comments to yourself,” Ms. Bisky shouted, standing directly behind me.

“What in the God butt fuck?”

“MOVE! You have a class to get to,” Ms.Bisky yelled out.

After Feitan walked me to Art, I felt the presence of a blonde twink.

“OOOOOOH! So, Feitan actually grew a pair and talked to you,” Shalnark asked.

“More like held me hostag-”

“Doesn’t matter, he talked to you!”

“He said he can put in a good word at Popular Materials and then I can work there,” I answered, getting my art supplies together.

“He totally wants you two to make out at the back of Popular Materials. Actually, with the things he says about you, he probably wants to straight up fuc-”

“WTF IS HE SAYING ABT ME?!?!?”

“Nice ass, ya da ya da, sit on his face, and shit like that.”

“OH MY GOD?!?!”

“Too much,” Shalnark gasps.

“Oh no, I’m totally down.”

“Not to be a hating ass bitch or anything, but I’m just saying, I could treat you better than hi-”

“He’s fine asf tho.”

“SO AM I!?!?!”

“I just prefer short guys.”

“I can shrink.”

“...”

“...”

“No, Shalnark. No, you cannot.”

After dealing with the whines of Shalnark, I only had lunch and 1 more class before I would see my little emo rat.

“(Name), please! Just one date,” Shalnark begged.

FUCK! I love it when a man begs.

“Perchance.”

“YOU CAN’T JUST SAY PERCHANCE!”

I’m now on my way to meet Ponzu for lunch.

“GYAT DAYUM!”

“PONZU, WTF!?!?!”

“Anyways, hey bbg. You always carry that fatty around with you,” Ponzu asks, smacking my ass. At this point, I’m so beyond used to it.

“What are you having for lunch,” I ask her, getting my lunch out.

“Shit, that ass bout to feed me and a family of five for the next year<” Ponzu answers.
“...”

“...”

“Thank you for gracing my presence with your fatty.”

“If you keep this up, I’m leaving.”

“WAIT, DON’T BE LIKE POKKLE!”

“Where is your boyto-”

“Idk where her boytoy is, but I’m here, my queen,” Chrollo says, posing dramatically and handing me a rose.

“I’ve been longing for our honeymoon, my love,” Chrollo tells me.

“Since when did we get married,” I ask.

“When we first locked eyes, and later when we locked lips.”

“That was cpr.”

“ALAS, I have longed for your lips smothering mine,” Chrollo wishes, shedding a tear at the thought.

“Actually, do you think I should ask Feitan out,” I ask.

“WHAT?!?!?”

“WHAT?!?!?” Both Ponzu and Chrollo seemed shocked.

“I see….. I now have a rival,” Chrollo whispers to himself.

“Mf, we’ve all been trying to get her. You haved so many rivals since DAY 1,” Ponzu yells at him.

“BACK OFF, SKANK. Anyways, the only way I can prove to her my loyalty and devotion…. Is to battle Feitan!”

“He does not wanna fight your ass-”

“HOLY SHIT FEITAN AND CHROLLO ARE FIGHTING!?!?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!”

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

“Holy shit, they’re actually fighting!”

“Ain’t no way it’s that serious,” I whisper.

“(Name), don’t even. I’d fight over you too, babe,” Ponzu jokes, putting a hand on my waist.

“Yeah, but I actually know you. They’re like strangers,” I reply.

“My dear, (Name). How could you say that about me, my love? We’re 2 star-crossed lovers, destined to be together. Yet, I am a so-called ‘stranger’? Thou will see one day,” Chrollo proclaimed dramatically.

“Don’t you have a fight to win,” I ask him.

“Wait, wh-”

“Rising Sun.”

“(Name), maybe you should stop them from fighting,” Ponzu says.

“Nah, this is mad entertaining,” I answer.

“Plus, Feitan looks hot when he fights.”

“(NAME), I’M GETTING MY ASS KICKED OVER HERE! STOP PRAISING HIM,” Chrollo yells out.

As much as I wanted to see them fight, the hall monitor, Menchi, stopped them.

“Get your shit together. What are you two even fighting for,” Menchi questioned them.

“(Name).”

“(Name).”

“...”

“Never mind, that’s a good cause! In fact, I’ll join.”

TIMESKIP to the principal's office.

“What the hell happened.”

Chrollo, Feitan, Menchi, Ponzu, and I all sat in Principal Netero’s office. Ponzu and I were the only ones who weren’t injured.

“You mean to tell me you guys fought over some girl,” Netero asked.

“Not just any girl, sir. It was (Name)!”

“Not helping Menchi,” Ponzu replied.

“Not to be a hating ass bitch, or whatever. But, why are Ponzu and I here,” I ask.

“You’re witnesses, and you provoked them.”

“How-”

“You shouted, ‘WORLD STAR! WORLD STAR,’ at them, Ponzu. And, (Name), I’m not sure, but you need to keep your bitches on a leash,” Netero explained.

“Keep my wife's" name out your fucking mouth,” Menchi yelled.

“I’ll give this to you straight. You’re getting a harsh warning since college isn’t too far ahead, and … most of you have a clean record. However, if this happens again, you will receive detention,” Netero informs us.

“Yes, sir,” we said.

“Now, leave.”

“Who even reported us,” Menchi asked.

“Most of the school saw it, dumbass,” Ponzu replied, taking my hand.

“Feitan we should fight again, so (Name) and I can have a romantic date in detention. Like the Breakfast Club,” Chrollo whispers.

“He’d have to go to detention too, idiot,” Menchi butts in.

“Why would she like you, if you were the reason she’s in detention,” Ponzu and Menchi curse out Chrollo.

While the three weren’t looking, Feitan grabbed my arm and led me to my next class.

“After class, I take you to job,” Feitan explained.

“Thanks, bae,” I reply, kissing him on the cheek, bc I’m silly like that.

“?”

“Byeeeee,” I said, pushing him out of the door.

“Ms. (Last Name), you’re late,” Mr. Hill spoke up.

Seriously? Why do I keep getting him as a teacher?

“I have a pass,” I replied rudely, handing him my pass.

“Ms. (Last Name), you’re going to have to stay after class for 20 minutes to make up for your absence. I’m tired of you wasting my time,” Mr. Hill told me, grabbing me by my wrist and pulling me down, making him whisper directly into my ear.

Retracting my wrist from his hand, I walked to my seat next to Shizuku.

“Hi, Shizuku,” I whispered, exhausted.

“Who are you?”

“...”

“PAUSE, are you that girl that Chrollo likes? The one with the big butt,” Shizuku asks.

“Maybe? Idk, he might like another girl,” I reply, slowly fading in and out of consciousness from exhaustion.

“GYAT DAMN!?!? Oh, you’re definitely that girl,” Shizuku clarifies, looking at my butt, but at that point I fell asleep.

“(Na-”

?

“(Name)?”

“Hm?”

“There’s 2 minutes left in class,” Shizuku informed me, playing with my hair. By the looks of it, she’d been playing with my hair for a long time.

I have to get out here before Mr. Hill makes me stay after class.

“Alright, you all may pack up. However, (Nam-”

Too late, I ran out of there.

“MS. (LAST NAME), GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE,” Mr. Hill yelled out, chasing after me.

Damn, he wants me that bad, that he’s chasing me? Where tf is Feitan?

I kept running towards the parking lot, hoping to spot him.

Where the hell is he?

All of a sudden, I saw a car speeding towards me.

WTF?!?!?

“Get in,” Feitan said, unlocking the passenger door. I’ve never jumped into a car so fast in my life.

“Thanks for the ride, pookie,” I tell him, panting from the run.

“Ye-”

“Open this fucking door,” Mr.Hill demanded, banging on the window.

It’s NEVER that serious.

“Oh my god, Feitan. GO!”

A./N: Hey pookies, quick question. If I wrote sum smut in this story would y’all freak out? Like if Feitan fingered (Name) at the back of Popular Materials, would y’all go crazy? Or if (Name) and Wing made out? Bc if it’s cool with y’all, I’ll start there and do it with other characters too.

Chapter Text

TW: SMUT, making out, fingering, kinda public? Y’all are doing it in the storage closet (Ik romantic) a lil out of character, Feitans like DEAD silent, reader wears skirt, hickies, Feitan finds clit on ACCIDENT bc I think it’s funny, lil bit of spitting onto Feitans hand, Rushed bc I can’t do this anymore. Lowkey bad bc I can’t stand straight sex. I’ll start sticking with straight making out cause it makes me wanna kms less.
1st Person POV:

Feitan was currently driving me to the mall while blasting Caramelldansen bc he’s chill like that. I’m still surprised he wanted to work with me that badly.

“We’re close,” Feitan spoke up. (foreshadowing the smut?)

“Is that an Edgar Allen Poe bobblehead,” I asked in excitement. He just looked at me for a second then nodded.

“Where’d you get it from,” I asked, playing with the bobblehead.

“Stole it. I steal one for you, if want,” Feitan offered.

“You’re so real for that, King. That’s really what I need right now,” I tell him.

As we pull up to the mall, Feitan does a half-assed job at parking.

“Really,” I ask him, pointing to his car that took up 2 spots.

“Shut up,” Feitan replies, grabbing my arm.

He led me to the store, texting his manager.

“Feitan, stock up the band shirts,” his manager demanded.

“Bitch.”

“WHAT’D YOU CALL ME?”

Anyways…

“And you must be, (Name)? I’m Anita. Feitan told me you’d like to apply,” Anita asked.

“Um, yeah. Unless you’re busy,” I ask, trying to see Feitan go back to the stock closet.

“Mk, so…”

After she interviewed me, she went the talk some things over with the other workers.

“(Name), I’m sorry to bother you, but your twink boy toy is taking so much time in the storage and he’s the only one who brought the storage key today. Could you check on him,” Anita asked me.

“Um, sure,” I reply.

“If he’s smoking a fat blunt, join him or ignore him,” the other worker joked.

!!PAST THIS POINT WILL BE SMUT!!

Knocking on the storage door, I waited for Feitan’s answer.

“Come in,” Feitan answered, opening the door just enough that I could get in.

Damn, he must be doing sum hard shit if he’s acting this weird.

“Hey, Anita just wanted me to check up on you,” I tell him.

“Need help reaching shirts,” Feitan replies, looking mad deep into my eyes, like a blue-eyed person. He pointed to the top shelf, and signaled that he was gonna give me a boost.

“Are you serious? Of course you can reach that,” I reply, walking towards the shelf.

“Get up,” he interrupts, squatting down.

Dramatic ass.

I sat up on his shoulder; his arms holding me by my thighs.

There’s not even anything up here?

“Pookie, there’s nothing up here,” I inform him.

“My bad :3”

Feitan put me back down and I dusted my skirt off.

“I hope they hire m-”

Before I could finish my sentence, he grabbed my face and we started making out.

FINALLY!

We started moving all around the closet, but he led me towards the door and locked it.

Damn, he locked the door without looking. We love a dedicated king.

“I don’t want interruptions,” Feitan whispered, making out and leading me to a corner.

I was so focused on the making out, I didn’t even realize he had lifted me up on one of the boxes. (Kinda like a crate box? Not like a cardboard box)

“You cool with this,” Feitan asked, hands sliding up my thighs and sucking on my neck.

“Fuck yeah,” I reply.

I gotta cover that hickey up tomorrow, but that’s tomorrow.

His hands continued to grope at my upper thighs while sucking harder. Within a matter of seconds, his hands slide towards my underwear and push them to the side. (I DESPISE THE WORD ‘PANTIES’)

Ok, get it, King.

With his left hand pushing my underwear to the side, he puts his right hand towards my face.

“Spit,” he demands. Rolling my eyes at his behavior, I spit in his hand.

And they say chivalry is dead.

He started spreading the spit evenly throughout his finger, then inching it towards my hole.

Omfg shove it in already :c

Feitan glided his thin fingers into me and slowly started thrusting.

“Shut up, is that an Elvira poster,” I ask, turning my face toward the poster. Right as I asked, he pushed his fingers deeper.

Can’t even speak anymore these days damn.

While Feitan fingers me, I look at how they decorated the storage closet.

Like it feels great, but he does NOT need to be this silent.

As he thrusts his fingers in and out, I hear the voices of his co-workers.

“Is the new stock too heavy? If you need help carrying it out we can do it,” Anita called out.

Before I could even think about what to reply with, Feitan started making out with me again.

Y’all know what Ayesha Erotica said…

While making out, he started to pick up the pace.

“Make something up,” Feitan whispers into my ear, leaving more hickies.

“Just opening the crate,” I shout out as best as I can, trying to conceal the moans.

“Yeah, working hard,” Feitan answers back, picking the pace up.

Oh, something’s hard alr

Feitan started thrusting at different angles and swiped his thumb past my clit, making me moan a lil louder than the usual.

“...”

“What? Why are you looking at me like that,” I ask.

“Why you do that?”

“...”

“Feitan do you not what a clit is…”

“... A what?”

“...”

“Just keep rubbing that part,” I gave him fucking instructions on how to rub a clit.

Erm, what the flip.

Feitan FINALLY registered what I had said and started djing my clit like crazy

DAMN!?!?!?

I started feeling my orgasm coming. (Guys I literally can’t do this anymore. Next Smut is gonna be lesbian smut bc I literally feel my mental health declining writing straight smut. I might ask for a co-
writer next time I write straight smut.)

Due to Feitan going all feral DJ on my clit, WHICH HE FOUND BY ACCIDENT, I gripped the crate mad hard. Feitan was a little concerned about why I was gripping the crate so hard.

“Are you gonna-”

Before he could finish, I finished. (Pretend that’s funny)

Coming down from my high, I started fixing Feitan's hair. Or I was, but we were RUDELY interrupted.

!!!!SMUT DONE!!!!!

“OPENING A CRATE DOESN’T TAKE THAT LONG!”

“Anita, it could be a really complicated crate,” the other worker replied.

“NO IT ISN’T!”

After Feitan and I got cleaned up, we ACTUALLY opened the crate.\

“...”

“...”

“This is actually really hard to open.”

“I ask Anita for help,” Feitan suggested, walking towards Anita.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK FOR HELP EARLIER?”

Oh, I got help alr.

Anyways, the aftercare was bomb.

“You mean to tell me. That his aftercare. Was. WINGSTOP!?!?!” So I may or may not have called Neon and Ponzu in the Wingstop Bathroom.

“Y’all, don’t throw shade on Wingstop. But, I gtg. Feitans paying for my wings,” I tell them.

“And they say chivalry is dead.”

Chapter Text

1st Person POV:

“You like your wings,” Feitan asks.

“I’m like actually busting a nut over here. I fucking love these wings,” I reply gulping down a wing like one would gulp down on a dick.

“Oh.”

Sorry, not everyone can be as poetic as thou.

“Prom is come up. Who you go with,” Feitan questions, stealing one of my wings.

“Probably Neon and Ponzu-”

“I just finger you and you go with them?”

“Well, maybe, oh Idk, crazy thought here, you ASK me to the dance,” I sarcastically reply.

“They asked me before the fingering of 87. Yk, cause my life didn’t begin when you dj’d my puss,” I sarcastically elaborate.

“No habla ingles.”

“Cortar la mierda,” I reply. (I just got done with Spanish 3 so I’m not 1000% sure, but that means “cut the shit”)

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

After Feitan and I got done shit-talking, we started to walk to his car.

“1, 2, 3, hit it!” Just as my brain registers the new voice, I look up and see a marching band, Texas Cheerleaders, red white, and blue fireworks, 5 bald eagles soaring through the sky, 2 large American flags, and Hisoka decked out in 4th of July clothes. All while the national anthem was playing in the background.

“(Name) (Last Name), will you go to prom with me? SAY CAN YOU SEE-”

“What the hell am I watching?”

“I thought it’d make you feel more at home? I even almost brought a gun! BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHTTTTTT,” Hisoka kept singing. Which, btw, was in fact the wrong instrumental. He got the lyrics right, but he sang it to the beat of Say It Ain’t So.

“She have date. Me,” Feitan spoke up, squinting due to the bright lights.

YOU TELL EM, KING!

“She doesn’t want your bum ass!” I swear to God if I turn towards the source and see Chrollo.

It was Chrollo.

Chrollo in American flag skinny jeans and a “DILF: Damn I Love Freedom” shirt.

“Feitan, unlock the car door. I can’t do this anymore.”

“I need leave.”

Once we escaped, barely alive I’d like to add, he dropped me off at my house.

“Bye, (Name). Think about prom,” Feitan says his goodbyes before driving away.

Ugh, why do I have to pull so many bitches?

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Heyyyyy, Wing, my man, my homie, my roomie, son of the best gay moms. How are you-”

“Stop avoiding me and my fucking questions. Where have you been,” Wing demands an answer of me.

“Just looking for a job. Yk, get my money up, get my funny up-”

“Stop joking around,” he interrupts.

“I really was looking for a job,” I answer, keeping my distance and giving him vague answers.

“And Feitan, of all people, can apparently help you with that?”

“He works at the mall. Yk, one of the best starter jobs. A lot of other people at school work there too,” I defend myself.

“He’s a bad influence-”

“Why do you care? It’s not like I’m bringing you into anything,” I interrupt his shitty argument.

“You’re grounded,” Wing states.

“Excuse me?”

“I said ‘You’re grounded.’”

“You’re literally my roommate. Even your parents don’t think they have the right to ground me. You’re pissy rules don’t mean shit to me,” I argue.

“Go to your room.”

“Nah, I’m staying with someone else tonight. You’re being an insufferable insecure asshole,” I claim, walking out the door.

I wasn’t quite sure who to go to. Neon’s my friend and all, but she’d try to get me to tell her about the argument.

“Ponzu, can I stay at your place tonight,” I ask, calling her.

“Ofc, my glorious glutious maximous queen, but I’m having a movie night with Pokkle and Menchi,” Ponzu answers.

“Is that (Name)? Gimme that phone,” Menchi yells out through the phone.

“Hi, (Name)!”

“Hey, Menchi.”

“Menchi, calm down. You’re gonna scare her away.”

“If anything’s gonna scare her away, it’s gonna be that dick-”

“Hey, Pokkle.”

“Hey, (Name)!”

After their lil argument, I started to walk toward Ponzu’s house.

“What if we had a really intense orgy-”

“On skibidi, that’s the best thing you’ve ever said,” I interrupt Menchi.

“Ugh, I’m so smart,” Menchi jokes back.

“Sit down, we made some room for you-”

“WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARSSS!”

“(Name), why are Hisoka and Chrollo here? And why is there a marching band behind them?”

“Are those those Texas Cheerleaders?”

“WTF DID YOU FOLLOW ME HERE,” I shout at the two men.

“We thought you didn’t hear our proposal,” Chrollo answered.

“ANYONE IN A 300 MILE RADIUS CAN HEAR THE PROPOSAL,” I yell at them.

“Humble as always, (Name). Putting others before your own well-being,” Hisoka cries a little.

“I DON’T WANT THE COPS CALLED ON ANYBODY!”

“So caring.”

“Nevermind. Pokkle, call the cops.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

The “cops” in question were Illumi and Shalnark dressed in cheap police costumes.

“Big dick back in town!”

“Wrong script.”

“Shit, my bad. Oh, hey (Name),” Shalnark greets me.

“Hey, Shalnark. Why are you guys here and not, oh I don’t know, THE REAL POLICE,” I question, tired of everyone's bullshit.

“Chrollo paid off the police for the entire night,” Illumi informed me.

This bitch

“Illumi, you weren’t supposed to tell her that!”

“Chrollo’s broke ass isn’t paying me enough for this and I’m cosplaying a cop for the rest of the night. I don’t see why this concerns me,” Illumi tiredly states.

Ate.

“I’ll tell the two idiots to leave for now. C’mon Shalnark, we’re getting donuts.”

Like a moth to a flame.

Once they dragged the two American wannabes away, I walked back into the house, where we continued to watch Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Chipwreck.

“Oh my GOD, SING IT BRITNEY!”

“Ugh, so real, Queen. Brittney’s my bias too.”

“Hisoka? Chrollo?”

“DID YOU BREAK INTO THE HOUSE!??!!?”

“So, me, you, prom?”

“GET TF OUT OF HERE!”

“After this song. :3”

Chapter Text

1st person Pov:

“I am NOT going to prom with you,” I tell Hisoka.

“Diva, hear me out th-”

“FREAKKK NO!”

“What if I eat that ass?”

“...”

“Let me take it up with the council.”

After discussing with the council, the council being Menchi, Ponzu, and Pokkle, we decided to keep him as a possible date.

TIME SKIP THE NEXT DAY

“So, have you decided who to go to prom with,” Ponzu asks.

“I’m still deciding, you know? I don’t wanna go to the dance with a sucky person-” Right as I was about to finish my sentence, I sense the presence of a lil emo man.

“You go to dance with me,” Feitan asked, but more like demanded. In his hands was a bouquet of dead roses and a small sign, which half of the sign was taken up by a picture of Edgar Allen Poe.

Why’s this sign lowkey goated?

“Oh my god,” I mumble in surprise he actually put in the effort to ask me out to prom.

“Yes or yes,” Feitan speaks up.

Wow, so many options he just gave me there.

“Erm, let me think about it?”

“Hurry. I have no time,” Feitan informs me.

I have no time? Like the FNAF song?

As I walked to have lunch with Gon and Killua like I promised, I hear the loudest party popper. And because I’m American, I thought it was a gunshot and ducked down into a ball.

“WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME- why are you curled up into a ball,” Leorio asks.

“Chat, I thought that was a freaking AK-47.”

“Damn, you can take the girl out of America, but not America out the girl-”

“YES, BRO. I’VE LIVED THERE FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, IT’S NOT GONNA LEAVE THIS SOON?!?!”

“So, will you go to the dance with me :3?”

“Omfg, I’ll THINK about it. Key word: THINK,” I reply, still shaking.

“Think real hard, bbg.”

“Nevermind, I do wish that was a gun.”

Finally making it to sit with my gang, I think about everyone who’s asked me to the dance.

“(Name), is something bothering you? You look upset,” Gon asks.

“Everyone’s asked me to the dance, but I’m not sure who to go with,” I answer.

“Go with me, bitch,” Killua RUDELY suggests.

“...”

“...”

“So, who’s asked you?”

“Oh, you know, Feitan, Chrollo, Hisoka, Leorio, Mechi, Pokkle, Ponzu, and Shizuku, but she’s probably forgotten about it.”

“DON’T IGNORE ME!?!?!”

“Oh, yeah, Killua too. I guess….”

“Well, you can always go with me :3. I’d love to go with you,” Gon suggests.

“Aw, that’s so sweet. SEE, KILLUA, THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT,” I reply.

“MINE WAS GOOD ENOUGH!?!?”

“NO IT WASN’T!?!?!”

After lunch, I went to my last class of the day, Math.

“Hey, (Name),” Shalnark greets.

“Hey, Shalnark,” I tiredly reply, putting my bag down.

“You good? You look really tired,” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking about who to go to prom with. I’m so tired of everybody asking me to prom,” I reply.

“If you’re that tired, don’t check your desk,” Shalnark says, looking nervous.

Out of curiosity, i reach under my desk. Unfortunately, that set off another party popper.

“HOLY SHIT! AMERICA WON, NOT THE BRITS!”

“...”

“Sorry, reflex.”

“So…. Will you go to the dance with me?”

Are we deadass rn.

Who do I go to prom with?

Walking to my car, I ponder who to go with.

Why the FREAKKKKKK is there a line around my car?

“What the hell is going on here,” I ask.

“It’s a line of people here to ask you to prom,” Illumi informs me, being 14th in line.

“And is there a reason Hisoka and Chrollo are my body guards..?”

“We’re here to protect our queen!”

“Yes, Ma’am! Nothing but the best for you.”

“K then? Y’all can y’all just text me or something? I wanna go home,” I yell out to them.

“We’ve been waiting here since lunch,” Wing yells.

Boy, didn’t we just argue not even a day ago?

“Wing, get the fuck outta here. What the hell, man,” I yell back.

“Worth a try,” Wing says, walking away.

“Everyone go home! Ask me some other time,” I yell.

“(Name), as much as I dick ride you, these people took time out of their day to ask you out,” Chrollo says.

“Right… so, I never asked them to. I don’t owe them time or anything.”

They tied me to a chair. Yes, you read that right. They. Tied. Me. To. A. Fucking. Chair. Then proceeded to make me hear everyone out, to which I told everyone “Maybe,” for OVER AN HOUR!

After driving back to Ponzu’s house, because I’m still mad at Wing, I sat in the kitchen to contemplate what just happened.

“So, have you decided who you’re going to the dance with,” Ponzu asked.

“Yk, I think I’m gonna go with-”

“Go on :3.

“HISOKA, GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE!”