Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The war is over. We are free. The war is over. We are free.

These words Pieck had been silently repeating to herself for days now, within her head, a mantra she clung to like a prayer to the point where the words had begun to meld together into an amalgam that hardly made sense anymore. And yet she kept at it, fervently, as if afraid this new reality would suddenly be snatched from her hands, like it had been nothing but a futile illusion. 

Thewarisoverwearefreethewarisoverwearefreethewar-

Silly me , she thought with a small, bitter smile, stopping herself in her tracks before she spiraled down into yet another long, detached span of silence. Truly, there was no chance anyone was going to fall out of the sky and take her freedom away from her again. 

…But when one had lived their entire life as a slave, how did they come back from it? How did one accept their freedom? More importantly, how did they learn just how exactly to be free? To see themselves not as the inferior shadow your oppressors cast them as, but as their own person, as one who was born into this world and deserved to live in it just as much as anyone else, Eldian or Marleyan or otherwise?

She had no answer to that question, not yet. And that seemed to be the case for her companions, too, most of whom were presently milling about on the ship they’d boarded after concluding the post-war negotiations with Marley, on the way back home.

Home… Liberio had always been her home. Could she and her father truly find a new one in Paradis Island? Had Liberio ever truly been their home? With everything she had seen at that point, it felt a lot more like a cage, a pen to keep cattle in. Then again, the Paradisians seemed to think the same of their own little island, so. Perhaps it was nothing but a matter of perspective. 

Just who could tell? Maybe, for her, Paradis would be an endless open pasture in comparison to the Internment Zone. There were countless repairs to be made after the Rumbling ( fuck you, Jaeger , she thought, then she caught herself, because that name referred to two people, and she was no longer sure which one of them deserved her contempt more). The whole island must have been near-trample, but she didn’t mind the prospect of helping them rebuild, and her Cart Titan would surely make the repairs easier-

She stopped herself right in her tracks again, her long, pale fingers clenching into fists around the metal railing circling the ship’s starboard side. Of course. She didn’t have her titan anymore. That spark of life, of ancient history, that had been steadily simmering within her for eleven years, no longer answered to her call. It was simply no longer there, and she felt its absence, and the quiet it had left behind, like a black hole in her chest.

People cursed the titans- but that was, in part, because most of them did not carry one. She had never given voice to such a thought, obviously, because at best, it would have earned her and her father, and maybe even the rest of her Warrior squad, a one-way trip to Paradis, but Pieck had considered her titan to be a blessing, not a curse. It had been a tie back to countless generations of her people, their memories all opened up like pictures in a storybook for her to admire, to study. She had learned so much from it all; thought she still had time to learn more. And the Cart herself… She was an entity entirely separate from Pieck, from all her predecessors. Like a ball of light within the caverns of her consciousness, with a mind of its own. Pieck had never felt truly alone- even on long, solo missions deep within enemy territories, that light had been with her. 

But now it was gone, like so many of her friends and allies. Now, she thought, she truly was alone. 

She knew it was for the best; nobody would call her a monster anymore. She would no longer be dubbed a devil. Now, she was simply the same as all those other people, just a regular human with no special powers to protect or to destroy. Now, Eldia could finally be at peace. 

She just wished it didn’t make her feel so damn empty all of the time.

Pieck sighed, then lifted her head to look at the soaring clouds above the sea, to feel the salty breeze against her face. She closed her eyes a little, trying not to think, just for a moment, to enjoy being free…

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” 

She opened her eyes and cocked her head just a little, gray eyes meeting blue. Reiner Braun was studying her with the same half-concealed thoughtfulness she currently focused on him. After a few quiet seconds, they both turned back to look at the endless expanse of sea, as if in silent agreement.

“Yeah,” she replied slowly. “It is. One wonders, what could be living in those depths?”

Hopefully not another specimen of whatever it had been that had cursed (or blessed, depending on who you asked)  the Founder Ymir, but that was too bleak and far-fetched a theory even for her, so she didn’t bother bringing it up. Reiner just hummed noncommittally, which made her wonder what his take on the supposition would be. But still, she refrained from asking.

Instead, she said, “How does it feel? To be without the Armoured?”

If anyone could understand her, she thought it would be Reiner. He was the only one left in their little ragtag band to have lived so long with that power, that presence , within him -barring Annie, of course, but she’s been in a coma for, what, five years? Pieck didn’t think it wise to bother her about it. Everyone else -Porco, Berthold, even the Tybur woman with her Warhammer, even Eren Jaeger- was gone, their names and hopes and wishes lost to history. 

( Not everyone , her treacherous mind whispered , there’s one more, one who’s waiting back on the Island. But she preferred  not to think about him right now. Perhaps not ever again).

Reiner held off on replying for a bit, then he shrugged, his expression unreadable. 

“Couldn’t tell you. It feels like part of me is missing… but I feel lighter. Don’t you?”

Pieck considered that.

“I do,” she admitted eventually. “But it’s also… too quiet. Like I’ve been staying inside the same house with someone for eleven years, and now they’ve suddenly moved away. All proof of them ever having been here, erased.”

“Yeah. I get that,” Reiner nodded his agreement. “For me, it’s more like the house itself is gone. The walls I knew so well, the walls I could hide behind, all vanishing like smoke.”

“I don’t hate it.” She mused, unsure whether or not it was a lie, but it didn’t exactly feel like one. “Our terms were nearly up, you know. I could feel that, too. It was… like a heaviness. Like something was dragging me down. I always felt so tired, I had so little will to do anything every time I transformed back into a human. Everything seemed washed out, graying on the edges. Food hardly tasted like anything. I feel so much more alive now, I can see colours and taste and smell everything, and I don’t want to sleep all day anymore. But still… it’s weird.”

“Not the bad kind of weird,” Reiner agreed. “Just… different, right? I don’t feel that crushing hopelessness anymore, either, although that might just be the fact that the war is finally over and that I’m no longer an outcast or a soldier.”

Pieck nodded again, staring off into nowhere. In the end, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from slipping out.

“I wish Porco could’ve lived to experience this, too,” she blurted, and felt Reiner next to her go stiff, hands gripping the rail with enough force to make his knuckles crack. And yet…

“Same,” he murmured, quiet enough she barely heard him. “Bertholdt, too. And Marcel. And…”

Neither said it, but it hung suspended in the air between them: Eren . Pieck didn’t much care about the youngest Jaeger brother having passed on, but she thought she understood what Reiner meant. Eren had sacrificed everything -and everyone- for this kind of freedom. He’d known he wouldn’t live to see it, but he’d nonetheless gone ahead with it. It would have been nice, even for someone like him, to be able to experience the price of all the lives he had sacrificed. Then again, maybe never living to see it was just the kind of punishment the bastard deserved. Jury was still out on that one, where Pieck was concerned. Still, she supposed Reiner knew Eren better than her, and that part of him missed him -perhaps even loved him- no matter what Eren had done. She didn’t think it was her place to begrudge Reiner that.

“Look,” she said instead, breaking the heavy silence that was beginning to settle between them.. She pointed to the horizon, where a faintly green sliver of land was beginning to peek out from amidst the endless blue. “Paradis’ shores. We’re almost there.”

Soon, she thought, the ship would circle around to face the harbour. The rest of the delegation was sprinting to her side to admire the view, too; Armin. Jean, Connie. Sasha. Even Annie, although the island had  never really been a home to her either; yet maybe she was already able to see something Pieck couldn't. Maybe Annie was not as confused about this new life as Pieck herself was. Since she had Armin by her side and all.

Pieck supposes she’s jealous. Just a little bit.

“Everyone is waiting, back at home,” Reiner said quietly, and she huffed, because she kind of knew what he meant.

“Mhm,” she agreed- it was the truth, even if she were not willing to face all of it yet. “Everyone.”

Including the man who had sold them all out, for a selfish dream. The man whom she had once thought she knew. Even loved.

The man known to the world as Zeke Jaeger, surviving brother of Eren Jaeger, eldest son of Grisha Jaeger and Dina Fritz; one of the two last surviving descendants of the King of the Walls.

The man whom Pieck now hated more than anything else left in this world. 

Chapter Text

When the ship got close enough to see the harbour, Pieck realised there was a small group of people waiting on the pier; Gabi, Falco, some of Sasha’s family, even Levi and Mikasa. A few other ex-scouts that Pieck only remembered in passing but guessed they must have been old friends of the original regiment when she saw Armin and Connie cup their hands and shout greetings, Connie even rocking slightly on the balls of his feet. That made her smile, just a little- at least there seemed to still be a spark of life in some of them. Maybe she should take notes.

“Miss Pieck! Reiner! Over here!” Gabi was screaming on the very top of her lungs and -oh, bless the child- rocking precariously back and forth on mister Braus’ broad shoulders where she was perching like a particularly loud, gangly squirrel. It was a true testament to the man's strength that he could lift a fifteen-year-old with such apparent ease, but Gabi had never been very big for her age. Kaya was also standing next to her adoptive father and waving at Sasha, who put three fingers in her mouth and whistled shrilly enough to wake the dead, waving back with her free hand. Jean seemed lost, mouth hanging agape just a little, and Pieck didn’t need to be the genius that she was in order to know that he was looking straight at where Mikasa waited, with her newly grown, lustrous dark hair swaying in the slight ocean breeze.

For some reason it was Mikasa’s hair more than anything else, that drove home for Pieck the fact that they had been away for about three whole years. Pieck suddenly felt very tired, although it wasn’t like they’d spent that time running laps around the Liberio ex-Internment Zone (now New Liberio, open to all). In fact, they had mostly attended formal meetings, stuffed themselves with exotic foods at political parties and smiled in front of a sea of flashing cameras for newspapers all over the world; the Eldian Delegation Assembly, the heroes who had stopped Eren Jaeger and brought along the promise of long-lasting peace. If Pieck wanted to be honest, the first few months had actually been quite fun, but had quickly grown bored of the fanfare of it all, and before long all she could think about was going back home and…

…and what ? She’s thought long and hard about that part, but she still didn’t have a concrete answer. Her options included teaching at a school, or perhaps taking classes herself to become a doctor, the latter of which would prove useful, since she still needed to look after her father. It sounded more appealing, too, because while she had adored the little Warriors back in Marley, she did not think herself capable of handling an entire class full of squabbling children. Goodness, just the thought of it made her feel even readier for a nap than she already was.

Oh, well , she thought to herself as the ship finally put anchor in the harbour. She supposed she had time enough to figure everything out later, after a good night’s (or week’s) rest. For the moment, she would rather focus on what was waiting for her at the pier. Gabi had already jumped down from mister Braun’s shoulders, and she and Falco were running up the ramp as soon as it plonked down onto the pier.

“Reiner, Reiner! Guess what! Uncle Artur is teaching us horse-riding!” Gabi was shouting on top of her lungs (that kid had always talked as if she thought everyone around her was weak of hearing), while swinging her arms around Reiner’s neck. When Falco’s turn came for his customary hug from Reiner, Gabi sprinted away and threw herself at Sasha.

“Where’s my favourite little devil?” Sasha bellowed in matching volume to Gabi’s, and Pieck thought, not for the first time, that the two might actually be biologically related for all their similarities. Kaya and the rest of Sasha’s adoptive siblings had ran up the ramp too, and they were all swarming her, talking over each other and bragging over which one of them had been teaching Gabi and Falco, and their respective families after they’d decided to relocate to Paradis, the most about ranch life. Meanwhile, Armin and Connie and Jean had flocked around Mikasa, hugging and smiling bittersweet, nostalgic smiles. Annie stood a few feet behind Armin, too, hovering at the edges of their little group and seeming hesitant to join in until Armin gently pulled her by the arm, and Mikasa greeted her with a small smile.

Lost in the glee of it all, Pieck smiled, too; for a moment, she casually ignored the fact that she was the only one left without anyone to welcome her. Perhaps she didn’t even want to admit it, for it felt nice, pretending to be part of all this euphoria, that it included her even while she remained standing in the sidelines.

She knew, of course, they considered her one of them. A comrade. A good friend. She just wished her own family were there to greet her as well- not just her father, either. Unfortunately, that was impossible, since most of them were dead, and the one that wasn't, she was not sure she wanted to see. In fact, she was perfectly sure she didn’t, even if a small, treacherous part of her rebelled against that admission.

To her surprise, she noticed Levi wheeling himself over to where she was standing, which made her perk up a little, even though the man looked menacing even during such a cheerful occasion as this. At least somebody seemed to remember she existed.

“Hey,” Levi greeted, stopping a few inches from Pieck. She smiled sleepily.

“Hey to you,” she replied. “How have things been around here? I hope the kids haven’t been causing you guys too much trouble, hm?”

Levi’s eyes -the working one, and the milky white one he’d lost during the war- slid for a moment towards the clamour generated by Gabi, Falco in tow, where the Braus and Braun families chatted and mingled. 

“They’ve been alright. Or- rather, the brats have been causing everyone trouble, so it’s not like I get to complain more than the rest. Negotiations went well, I take it?”

“Cutting right to the chase, I see. You haven’t lost that habit,” Pieck quipped airily, before adding, “everything went well. More than well, actually- stellar . Of course, a few nations are still a little apprehensive, but we’ve secured some trade deals with smaller countries that had also been under the boot of Marley’s rule for decades. We’ve even managed to schedule a couple of cultural exchange projects and tourism initiatives here and there, if you can believe it.”

“Really? What do we even have to offer to tourists other than that giant-tree forest? Speaking of,” Levi’s eyes narrowed, and for just a fraction of a second Pieck swore they were as sharp as his blades had been, cutting right through her, “this shouldn't come as a surprise after three years, but your friend the monkey’s trial is complete.”

His name hadn’t even been properly mentioned, and yet Pieck felt sudden tension coil at the back of her skull, spine twitching slightly as her muscles locked and her fingers clenched reflexively. Yet she kept her face as impassive as she could and she replied, thankfully without a single waver in her voice, “and?”

Levi scoffed at the question, but he didn’t seem surprised by her calm reaction- hell, he even looked a little bit impressed. Now that was something -her composure impressing even Levi Ackerman, imagine that. 

“He’s fine, got off relatively scot-free. Helps that he no longer has any considerable power to speak of- and that our gracious queen is his second cousin thrice-removed or something. I guess she’s excited she’s got some living family left, after all.”

“I wouldn’t let him spend too much time with her. Who knows what ideas he’ll put into her head.” Even after everything Zeke had done, speaking those words still felt a little bit like betrayal, which only made her feel more pathetic. Levi just snorted, though, dismissive of her warnings.

“Don’t fret too much about it. Historia may not look it, but she’s one of the sharpest people I know. There’s no way she’d let that bastard manipulate her. Hell, I’m starting to think she’s the one doing the manipulation. Anyway, she has punished him, kin or not. He isn’t allowed to leave the borders of old Sina, there are guards following him everywhere, he’s obligated to help with the rebuilding efforts, and so on and so forth.”

“Interesting…” Pieck mused; the Zeke she’d known would have already found a trick to scheme his way out of any of this, but maybe without the Beast Titan he truly was in no position to take risks and make even more enemies. Perhaps she could consider the case closed, at least for now, since he was not really her problem to deal with. She had to accept that he was no longer her problem or her responsibility- had never been, really. Still, it felt a little bit… anticlimactic, for everything to be done and over with so easily. She sighed.

“Well, I suppose Queen Historia knows what she’s doing. Anyway- should we get on the train? I’m so tired…”

“There’s one more thing,” Levi warned her then, and added before she had the chance to ask him to save it for later, perhaps for after she;d taken a nap, “he’s requested to see you.”

Aaand there it was . Of course. Things could never be simple with Zeke, could they? She was already regretting her earlier thoughts.

“Why so?” She asked, stalling as everyone slowly started to move towards the locomotive station built a few hundred yards away from the harbour. She put her hands on top of the handles on Levi’s chair with a question in the rise of her eyebrows, and when she received a nod of consent from him she pushed him forward. An excuse as good as any to continue their conversation, slightly further away from the others.

Unfortunately (although not unexpectedly), Levi didn’t seem to have an answer to that . 

“Beats me. Maybe he just feels bad. I hate to say it, but he hasn’t really been a pain in our asses, so maybe he wants to apologise or something. You were one of his comrades after all.”

Apologise? Good luck with that . His betrayal had gotten Porco and Colt killed. It had gotten Liberio and so many of its people trampled to ashes. It had led to the demise of most of the world’s population, although if she were being fair that had mostly been on Eren. Still .

“Did he say when he wants to meet?” She asked instead of voicing any of these thoughts, although her mind was already whirring despite her fatigue, mapping out strategies and possible ways to tackle the situation. Perhaps she should yield to Zeke’s request; perhaps she and the other ex-Warriors could gain something from it. Closure, if nothing else.

Or perhaps she just wanted to personally step on his foot until he screamed. A tempting thought, but contrary to popular belief Pieck had never been a fan of violence.

She might just have to make a small exception in this case, though.

“He left it up to you. To quote: he didn’t want to pressure you into anything .” Levi’s tone had a mocking edge to it, and despite everything Pieck felt a sudden, fierce sense of protectiveness rising in her chest. Sure, she and the other Warriors had earned the right to talk shit about Zeke all they wanted. He had been one of them, after all. But to hear it from somewhere outside their circle… it stung, in a peculiar way she wasn’t willing to dwell on, although she believed Levi also had plenty of reason to personally want to slit Zeke’s throat. The chair, for one. And the demise of his comrades, years ago. If she really thought about it, there should have been a queue of people waiting in line to punch Zeke Jaeger in his handsome face.

Maybe you should stop thinking of him as handsome, for starters , part of her suggested, and she sighed again. That part of her was right, of course, but for all her expertise and bright mind and spectacular analytical and strategic skills, she could yield to it just yet.

It was… complicated.

After that, Pieck found that she didn’t have anything else to say -at least not anything she might want to share with Levi, no offence there- so she just hummed without giving a clear answer, and instead switched to small talk throughout the rest of the walk to the train station. How was Hange doing, were the Grices and Brauns getting used to Paradis, was Niccolo’s new restaurant going well, and so on and so forth. They got in line to board along with everyone else, and soon she found herself next to Armin and Annie, who were very subtly holding hands. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight; aww, look at the little Lionheart finding her match . She truly did find it adorable, and the mischievous part of her filed the sight away to tease Annie about it later, in privacy. She’d missed that kind of thing, after so much formality and politicking.

She left Levi with the other scouts and took a seat next to Reiner and the kids, where they were already getting comfortable in one of the double-seated tables with a view outside the large rectangular windows. This train must have been an improved model, because the last one she’d boarded she recalled having smaller, circular ones. Paradis was making fast progress, then. Good. So long as it was not wasted on weaponry.

Gabi and Falco were full of questions, so Pieck and Reiner talked, trying to answer as many of them as humanly possible. The little ones had so many things to talk about, too; for example, the impressive growth spurt Falco had gone through, to the point where he was now towering over Gabi by more than a head. Gabi punched his shoulder when he mentioned it, insisting that she , too, would get her growth spurt sooner or later, and look at Reiner, she’s gonna be just as tall as he is, and taller even, because Braun women are always tall, and then he’ll see, oh , he’ll be so sorry he made fun of her ! But there was no real anger behind her words, the wild, childish fierceness Pieck remembered already being shaped into something more compact, being honed into determination instead of competition. It was still Gabi, of course, but…

…she’d grown up.

That made Pieck smile, too, and this time she really felt honest doing it. Gabi was simply acting like the young teen she was supposed to be. No longer the child soldier, the future Armoured Titan, a weapon forged and whetted in Marley’s unforgiving grasp. It was beautiful to see, and a great relief. At least she and Falco would get to have a somewhat normal life from here on out, which was more than enough for Pieck.

The entire thing was a happy occasion, really. Even Reiner seemed a bit less gloomy than usual, as he swiped a deck of playing cards out of his breast pocket -a gift from some government official appalled by Reiner’s seriousness, apparently, who tried to teach him how to have some fun. 

And so a game started between the four of them. He lost round after round, to nobody’s surprise, but he laughed, they all did, more than they had in months. 

So, Pieck refrained from mentioning Zeke, having no intention of ruining the mood for any of them. It was hours until the city, anyway, so why worry? She’d have time to think about everything later, after dinner and a good night’s sleep. She could talk to Reiner about it then. Later. 

Soon, others joined in their game, attracted by all the noise they (well, Gabi and Falco) were making. First Connie, who tried to prove to Sasha that he was not stupid, then Jean, because he wanted to impress Mikasa. Armin, Annie and Levi watched from the sidelines, but even the gruff ex-captain looked properly entertained after Reiner bet fifty coins against Connie and lost it all, and buried his face in his folded arms in absolute defeat ( “really, Reiner? Losing to Connie ? That’s a new low”, “what’s that supposed to mean, Sasha?!” ). In the end, Reiner promised to treat everyone to apple pie and warm cider back home, which earned him a loud whooping sound from Sasha, after which she threw both arms around his broad shoulders and squeezed.

“You’re my new best friend”, she declared, and Connie scowled and glared daggers at Reiner, apparently feeling cheated out of what was supposed to be his victory. But he didn’t object to the free treat; even Annie looked thrilled at the prospect.

Pieck laughed, too, and watched -the latter being what she had always done best. But throughout the entire journey, there was a weight in her heart, and a shadow marring all the good fun she was having.

There would be no avoiding it; sooner or later, she was going to have to see Zeke.

Chapter Text

The sun had almost disappeared behind the mountain range at the far north of the island, by the time the train crawled sluggishly inside Paradis Station (situated right at the outskirts of Shiganshina district), choo -ing merrily as it docked. Everyone poured out of it pell-mell, some to catch a carriage ride to the countryside, like the Braus and Gabi’s side of the Braun family, since Reiner and Karina were staying in the city proper with the Grices, others to get the last ferry to other districts. The Grices and Karina lived in the Emrich district, since that was the one closest to Sasha’s village and the Braus family ranch. Connie had relocated with his mother to Trost, the village of Ragako having been practically deserted and trampled to the ground at that point, something that Pieck still felt horrible about whenever she glimpsed Mrs Springer’s haunted eyes. Yet another reason for her to not want to see Zeke- it would bring back the memories of all the horrible things she had done to these people, and that may make her a coward, but she would rather avoid it for the time being. 

Pieck herself just wanted to get to Stohess, where her father lived, along with Annie’s; but Annie was going to stay the night with Armin, Jean and Mikasa, whose homes were in Shiganshina. Well- Mikasa’s was, since she’d spent the past three years rebuilding the old Jaeger house, basement and all, but Jean and Armin wished to spend some time with her after three whole years apart, and Annie had obviously been invited along. Which had left Pieck with the option of taking the ferry or carriage to Stohess all on her own, and after that much time spent in the company of so many people that had become their friends, she wasn’t entirely certain she wanted to spend so many hours alone, stewing in her own thoughts about Zeke, her father’s health, and all that was to come. So she jus stood at the platform dumbly for a few minutes, luggage laying discarded at her feet, unsure of where to go or what to do- until Levi approached her and tapped her arm to garner her attention.

“You could stay with me and Four-Eyes for the night, if you don’t want to travel alone,” he suggested with a knowing look in his sharp gray eye. “Hange’s dying to see you, too. Even if you’re not the Cart Titan anymore.”

Pieck couldn’t help but wince slightly at that, although it was more of a tease than genuine frustration. 

“Hange and their love for titans… I swear they’re the only person I know still thinking about them at this point.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. They’ve been writing a whole book on titans, you know? And guess who’s stuck doing the beta-reading… I’m guessing they’ll want your insight on the Marleyan Titans chapters, so consider that payback for me inviting you over.”

“Well, fair’s fair…” She smiled a little, shaking her head. “So long as I’m questioned after a nice, long sleep. If Hange wakes me before noon, I might just turn into a titan all over again and maul them.”

And that was pretty much how, a short carriage ride later, Pieck found herself looking at the small, picturesque little cottage that was the Ackerman-Zoe household, situated out in the open, near the dense woodland that had used to gaze out towards Wall Maria. Now there was an unobstructed view towards the town of Shiganshina, its habitants’ lit windows twinkling softly against the darkening horizon.

In the welcoming golden light pouring from the cottage windows, Levi lead Pieck through the rickety fence, wheeling himself across the little door that Pieck could see is barely standing. She paused as soon as she was through, trailing a finger across the old, splintered wood and wondering why the last commander of the Scout Legion, and Humanity's Strongest Soldier, hadn’t been afforded better lodgings, perhaps closer to the city proper. But then Levi turned and gestured for her to follow him further in, towards the house.

"Hange keeps saying they'll fix that," he motioned towards the fence with his good hand, "but she's always tinkering away with one thing or the other, so it keeps slipping their mind." 

Pieck rolled her eyes, but in reality she felt a surge of admiration for Hange Zoe's resilience, which was just as commendable as Levi Ackerman's was, if not more. Short one hand, an eye and with one and a half working legs, one would expect Hange to sit around idly and do nothing; she’d earned that much, that was for sure. But as soon as her leg had recovered as much it ever would, as soon as the burns had scabbed and turned into a mosaic of overlapping scars, Hanji had sprung out of bed and gotten to work. The results of that were plain to see, and Pieck spied a little wooden shed that seemed to have been hastily erected at the far end of the garden, hidden amidst rose bushes and other plantlife. She was fairly certain where she'd be able to find the ex-commander, had she needed them.

As if on cue, Levi cupped his good hand around his mouth and called out, "oi, Four-Eyes! We have company!" 

For a moment there was no answer, but then the door to the shed was nudged open and Hange emerged in all their glory, waving at Levi and Pieck with their good arm. Pieck saw no crutch, which confused her at first- but then she caught the glint of something metallic across the veteran’s left shin, and when she and Levi moved closer, she realised there’s a peculiar contraption propping the limb up and keeping it steady. Pieck had half a mind to ask, but then Hange limped across the lawn to meet them, still waving excitedly. 

"Levi, you're home early! And- Oh! You brought the Cart Titan!" 

Pieck frowned at that, and gifted Hange with what she hoped was her most intimidating glare.

"I told you not to call me that. My name is Pieck." Still, she wrapped an arm around Hange’s shoulders when the ex-scout came over for an eager embrace. Hange had almost died trying to save Pieck's ass among those of others, so she couldn’t be too cross with her. Even if she was as annoying and indiscreet as they came. 

Hange drew back and took Pieck in, their remaining brown eye gleaming with excitement.

 "Damn, you look good! Negotiations went alright, then?" 

"Better than expected, yes." Technically, she was not supposed to talk about it yet- classified information and all that. But she firmly believed Hange to be one of the people that deserved to know right away, and the rules be damned. "I can tell you over dinner. My, I'm starving."

"You sound just like Sasha," Levi groaned, proceeding towards the entrance to his home. There were three old wooden steps leading up to the door, but there was a ramp of planks erected next to it for his benefit- Hange’s handiwork, no doubt. "Pieck will be staying with us tonight if you don't mind. There’s some stuff we’ve got to discuss.”

"Of course, of course!" Hange hopped up the stairs with such cheer in their step that it almost masked. “You can take my bed, I'll room with Levi. It's got its own bathroom and all, nothing fancy but I've been fiddling with the plumbing and I think the shower works so much better now..."

They rambled away as they walked into the house, and Pieck threw a side glance towards Levi, who of course noticed, and glared back. 

"What?" He asked, and Pieck shrugged, amused. 

"Just surprised. I expected you two would be sharing a room and all." 

"Huh?" Levi looked genuinely confused for a moment, which was funny in and of itself. "Why would we do that?" 

Pieck blinked slowly, for a moment mortified, thinking she had perhaps misjudged the old scouts’ relationship. 

"Aren't you two... you know?" 

"Huh?"

Good gods, how had this man gotten a reputation as the best of the best?

"Aren't you together?" She clarified with a pointed look, and Levi's eyebrows arched upwards a fraction.

"Oh. Yes, I suppose you could say that." He moved inside, motioning for her to come along before wheeling around and closing the door. 

"But we each like having our own space. Have you tried living with Hange? Their room looks like Marley Harbour after Armin wrecked it. Not to mention they hog all the blankets." 

For some reason, Pieck was not surprised by that. Then again, knowing Levi, he might have been raising all this racket about one article of clothing being left on the floor, or a bedsheet improperly pulled over the mattress. And it was none of her business, anyway, so with her curiosity temporarily sated, she simply chuckled in response and followed along.

The inside of the cottage was plain but lovingly tended to; pretty wooden walls covered with a tapestry of a warm, pale orange on one side and light grassy-green with flowers on it on the other. A wide window under which an old, worn but beautiful velvet loveseat nestled, piled with pillows and knitted blankets in muted forest colours. There was a fireplace to the loveseat’s right, the wall above it adorned with an ODM gear set hanging from a handful of nails, blades crossed, while a few badges and medals were scattered on top of the mantelpiece. In front of the loveseat there was a low, oaken tea table, and a picture rested on the centre. Pieck recognised Levi and Hange, both of them before sustaining their injuries, each standing at the side of a man in their middle, tall and blonde and serious-looking, but with a sparkle in his eyes that was visible even in monochrome. Commander Erwin, she realised. The man she had helped Zeke kill. She swallowed back a knot of renewed guilt.

They crossed a short hallway from the small living room into an equally small but cosy kitchen. This room seemed to be Levi's domain, judging by the squeaky clean shine exhibited by every gleaming surface, but Hange was currently rummaging through the cupboards and setting the small, square table for three. There were two chairs, but Levi waved away Pieck's concerned glance by pointing to his wheelchair.

“I’ll just use my own. Take a seat already.”

Knowing it would do no good to argue with the stubborn man, Pieck obeyed without a fuss and tucked her travelling bag in a corner, and for a moment entertained the thought of offering to help. Then again, she knew both of them well enough by that point to be certain they'd chew her ear off for it. They might not have emerged from the war completely in one piece, but they still had their pride, and anyway they really did seem to be doing just fine on their own. 

Pieck watched as Hange handed Levi a small pile of bowls balanced on their good hand, and he swiftly placed them on the table. Hange pushed the flowery curtains aside with the stump of their other hand with enough ease that showed practice, and the fresh night breeze fluttered into the kitchen through the open window. There were herb pots on the sill, well-trimmed and tended to; Levi's handiwork, most likely. Hange limped, a little awkwardly but surely, over to the stove, grabbing one handle of the casserole with their good hand while Levi took the other end, and they transported the entire thing to the centre of the table with practised efficiency. The perfect coordination of two people who had been fighting by each other’s side for years, long enough to be able to do this without needing to speak.

"You two seem to be doing great." Pieck couldn’t help but smile, and Hange grinned right back. 

"Well, we had each other’s back in battle against giant man-eating monsters for more than a decade. Would be silly if we couldn't handle stew, wouldn't it?" 

"Less talking, more serving," Levi quipped without any real bite in his voice, and Pieck caught the slight upturn of his lips as he glanced at Hanji, who waved their good hand again with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Ah, ah. I'm afraid that's your job, shorty. You've got three fingers more than I do!" 

Pieck felt like she should smother the chuckle that threatened to bubble out of her throat, but then Hange turned to her and chuckled, winking, which seemed to be the cue that this was a familiar, good-natured joke between them. So she did laugh, even when Levi glared at both of them as he filled  their bowls with mutton and vegetable stew, thick with tomato sauce and spices and herbs. The smell alone made Pieck's mouth water, and she remembered she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast on the ship.

"Smells like the one you cooked in the forest," she pointed out, knowing she didn’t need to say more. Hange flashed her another grin.

"I thought you'd notice! I've perfected the recipe, I think. And we have better ingredients now, I’m sure you'll love it." 

Their voice was heavy with pride, and Pieck didn’t miss the way Levi’s expression softened as he beheld the same thing. She hid her own grin behind her spoon as she took a dainty slurp to test the temperature- pleasantly warm and fresh, but not painfully hot. She swallowed, and was unable to contain a loud, guttural moan as the flavour exploded in her mouth. 

“This is the best thing I have ever eaten,” she proclaimed quickly as she shoved another spoonful into her mouth, good manners abandoned. “And I spent the past three years eating steamed oysters and rose-petal cakes, I’ll have you know.”

Hange shoved some stew into their own mouth, and followed up with a closed-lips squeal as they squeezed their eyes shut. 

“Damn, I seriously outdid myself with this one!”

“Modest tonight, are we?” Levi teased with a roll of his eyes, but his eyebrows lifted high enough to almost disappear into his hairline when he tried the stew himself. 

“...Okay,” he admitted, sulking just a little bit, “fine, you win this one. This is heavenly.”

There was a small smile to those thin, stern lips of his as he let go of the compliment, and Pieck had to almost physically hold herself back from teasing him; it was unreal, just how thoroughly smitten this man was, and she wondered if Hange, or even Levi himself, were aware of the depth of it. Probably not, she mused , but it was quite alright; two people who had gone through so much together? Their bond was something going far beyond mere romance or anything of the sort, and most likely she would be unable to understand it in full, so it was definitely not her place to meddle. For now, she was content to simply watch them from the sidelines, happy that her friends seemed to have found so much peace in each other. 

She wondered briefly when it would be her turn to find such peace, too. If she ever would, at all.

“So, Hange, what’s that on your leg?” She asked instead, deciding to push those grim thoughts of hers aside for the moment. Hange finished gulping down a glass of water and leaned forward, eager to explain.

“Alright, so, you know how the nerves in my leg was fucked by the heat of the Rumbling, right?” They mentioned that in the same manner someone might explain tripping on their way down the stairs, waving away the horrific situation and focusing on the matter at hand. “The  doctors said I’d have to walk with a crutch from now on. But I thought, well, that just won’t do. I’m already missing a hand, I need the other one free to do things properly. There has to be a better solution, right? And then I thought about how, when a young tree is broken, you tie a stick to it to keep it steady and straight, so why shouldn’t we be able to do the same with the human body? Like a splinter, but more flexible, so I could walk with it.”

“ ‘Walk’ may be pushing it,” Levi interjected, looking at his partner with a raised eyebrow, but Hange just shrugged him away.

“Serves me well enough, so why not? You should try it on your own bum leg, too,” They suggested, with the air of an offer that had already been made, and turned down, time and time again. Indeed, Levi turned his eye skyward and huffed through his nose.

“Hange…”

“Fine, fine! Pretend I never asked.” Hange turned to Pieck again, batting their remaining brown eye sweetly, the other one covered, as usual, by a black leather eyepatch. “My dear Pieck appreciates my ingenious invention, at least, isn’t that right?”

Dear little Pieck . Somebody else used to call her that, once upon a time. Pieck swallowed down the urge to frown, and nodded. 

“Yes, of course. It really is amazing.” She wasn’t lying about that, at least- she was more than impressed. “So, how does it work?”

“I modelled it after the Scout Regiment’s equipment, to an extent.” Hange shifted in her chair and turned her damaged leg so that Pieck would be afforded a better view of the contraption.

Curiosity winning her over, Pieck leaned closer to inspect; it seems to be made up of two wide leather fastenings, one around Hange’s thigh and the other around the lower section of her calf, a few inches above the ankle. Another pair of fastenings, more delicate than the first, buckled right above and below the knee joint. On each side of her leg there’s a metal rod held together by the leather straps, slightly flattened on the side and able to bend through a gear-like mechanism on each side of the knee. Hange stretched out her leg to demonstrate how the rods clicked in place, the gear locking them in that position so long as the limb remained taut, then as soon as Hange bent her knee the mechanism clicked again, allowing the rods to bend along with the movement of her leg. 

“It’s similar to how we strapped the thunderspears to our arms back in the day, see? It still needs a bit of fine-tuning when it comes to the lock and release, but it’s made my life so much easier. I don’t need the crutch, I get almost no spasms, and I’ve only fallen down two times! Two !”

“It was three times, actually,” Levi pointed out with a shrug, which earned him a one-eyed glare. 

“Yesterday did not count!” Hange whined, pouting at him. “I just slipped on some water! And why was there water on the kitchen floor in the first place, Shorty?”

“Hey, don’t try to pin this on me! I told you I was going to mop, it’s not my fault if you weren’t listening.”

“You always mop,” Hange lamented petulantly. “At this point I’ll need flippers to swim around the house!”

“You tracked gear oil all over the house yesterday, of course I had to mop!” Levi snapped back, then let out a long sigh and leaned back in his chair. 

“Look at us, acting like an old married couple. Pieck’s going to think we’ve lost it.”

Pieck actually thought they were adorable -and indeed bickering like an old married couple. She couldn’t help but laugh. “If I’m honest, it wouldn’t take much convincing from you two. But, hey, at least your cooking is excellent.”

“Aw thank you, sweetheart!” Hange beamed, mollified, then pretended to swoon. “We should have you over more often, now that you’re here for good! The kids, too. We’ll need more chairs, though…”

“You could have a picnic,” Pieck suggested on a whim, surprising even herself at how easily the idea came to her. “The weather is nice in Paradis this time of the year, isn’t it? And we can all help set it up.”

“That’s… not a terrible idea,” Levi agreed, pushing his empty bowl away from him. “There’s a ball this weekend in the capital. We can tell the others then, rather than running around the districts or writing letters.”

“A ball?” Now that’s unexpected , Pieck thought with a frown. “What for?” 

“Oh, Historia’s setting it up for you guys,” Hange supplied nonchalantly, as if merely discussing the weather rather than a major diplomatic and political event. “The Paradis Council are the actual rulers of the country, but she’s still considered an important political figure that they turn to for advice, not to mention seeking her favour.”

“And everyone in the capital likes fanfare, so they didn’t object to her idea, even if it is pretty much a glorified welcoming party for her friends. Good for her, though,” Levi completed the explanation with a shrug, and Pieck groaned.

“Is a week off socialising really that much to ask for?” She wallowed, causing Hange to laugh.

“C’mon, it’s going to be fun! There’s going to be food and music and we can make fun of stuffy rich people,” they said cheerfully, causing Pieck to lighten up a bit and Levi to snort.

“That sure is a way to look at it,” the man replied with a small smirk, and Pieck groaned again.

“Fine. I suppose it won’t be that bad. But… Levi?” She turned to the old soldier, looking at him meaningfully. “What about the… matter we discussed earlier?”

“Oh, right.” It was Levi’s turn to let out an exasperated groan. “Well, today is Tuesday… you’ve got some time to resolve it until Saturday. He’s going to be at the ball, of course, but I suggest you get this over and done with before that. Don’t let him ruin your fun.”

Hange let out a small ‘oof’ , glancing between Levi and Pieck. “Oh, no. Is this about Zeke? Levi told me there was a letter from Historia concerning him the other day, but we didn’t discuss it much.”

“Yeah,” Pieck assented with a small sigh, hanging her head tiredly. Hells, she literally just wanted to sleep this entire thing off. “Apparently he wants to meet. He left the date up to me, though. As if that’s making up for everything he did.”

“Hmm… well, from what Levi told me, he did help you guys bring down Eren in the end, didn’t he? Turned the titan ghosts against the Founder. Which is so cool, by the way, can’t believe I missed that-”

“ Hange ,” Levi cautioned with a tone that brooked no argument. “Not now.”

“Oh.” Hange hunched a little, properly chastised and truly looking apologetic. “Yes, you’re right. Sorry, Pieck, I really didn’t mean to get sidetracked.”

“Of course not. I know.” Pieck smiled softly and lifted a hand, placing it gently on Hange’s shoulder. For all her eccentricities, Hange never did mean any harm with her titan fascination. “It’s alright. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow, if you want. Levi did mention that you’re writing a book…”

“Oh, yes!” Hange’s brown eye brightened, and an almost child-like expression of glee lighting up their features. “I’d love that! But, um… about Zeke, first. I think you should talk to him, and soon. Levi’s right, you shouldn’t let him ruin your fun at the ball. Not to mention, you’re just going to stress about it more if you run from it. Take it from silly ol’ me, running from hauntings of the past doesn’t really help matters.”

Their expression darkened slightly, and they visibly deflated. Pieck’s mind flashed to the photograph adorning the tea table, of the blonde man that was Erwin Smith, the previous commander. Her heart tightened in sympathy for the burdens Hange had been tasked with. 

“You’re right,” she admitted, rubbing Hange’s shoulder gently. “I… I’ll write a letter tomorrow and mail it to Historia as soon as I get to Stohess. I’ll meet up with Zeke before the end of the week.”

“Atta girl,” Hange said softly, and a small smile returned to their face. “And, hey, if you want Levi or me to escort you to the capital, I wouldn’t mind a day out. We haven’t been in a while, right, Levi?”

“Yeah, that’s true,” the man in question agreed, nodding. “Besides, we’ll need new suits. You wrecked both our outfits in the last banquet, spilling wine all over us. What possessed you to get into a drinking competition with that councilman, anyway? He’s a known alcoholic, of course he’d have more tolerance than you.”

“Hey, I’m human, we all make mistakes,” Hange fired back with pretend offense. Pieck laughed softly and shook her head.

“I want to hear that story, sometime,” she said, then pushed herself up from her chair to collect the dishes. When Levi and Hange tensed, preparing to talk her out of it, she simply held up a hand. “Please. I want to thank you for the food. It’s no big deal, I promise.”

And it really wasn’t; she’d missed the simplicity of having a private dinner with friends, the camaraderie of setting and tidying the table by themselves instead of being waited on. She’d missed chatting while doing the dishes, too, so she did exactly that, regaling Hange with details about the ghost titans while washing the plates and utensils they’d used. Hange ended up fervently taking notes in a tiny, crumpled notepad they pulled from their pocket like a magician performing a trick, and Levi butted in here and there to correct something or supply additional information.

It felt so cosy, homely , and it made Pieck feel as welcome as if she’d lived there all her life. She allowed the warmth of that feeling to spread from her heart to the rest of her body, filling her, making her feel safe.

Throughout that comfortable safety, however, the anxiety of meeting up with Zeke Jaeger continued to weigh painfully in the back of her mind, cruel and unrelenting, not unlike the anchor of a sinking ship dragging the vessel to dark, unexplored depths.