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Chapter Text

 Almost 20 years ago, Mark lent his love to Fernando.

 Mark had a pretty girlfriend, but he preferred to spend his weekends with his best friend. They would go out together, or stay in Fernando's cramped apartment and watch the same old movies.

 Mark always left first thing in the morning on Mondays, leaving behind a silent promise to see each other again as soon as possible and a piece of clothing for Fernando to keep.

 Despite having a girlfriend, Mark liked to admire Fernando more than she. He always mentioned the other man's qualities and told funny stories about the experiences they both had. His friends knew the names of Fernando's parents but didn't know Mark's girlfriend's last name.

 His friends thought that Mark and Fernando would end up dating one day, but that never happened.

 Fernando loved Mark, more than a friend. He knew that and he knew that Mark knew it, he also knew that Mark loved him, but not enough to choose him.

 Mark liked to please, so he always let Fernando eat the last slice of pizza or choose the movie they would watch. He reciprocated Fernando's feelings up to a certain limit.

 One night, while they were drunk at Fernando's apartment, the two kissed for the first time. It was at that moment that Fernando was sure that he had never loved anyone the way he loved Mark, that he was his first love. He wanted to know what Mark thought that night, since he didn't mention whether or not he remembered after the terrible hangover the next day.

 Fernando wanted Mark to have more confidence at that time, to explain himself better, to be less cruel when he decided to break his heart.

 Things suddenly changed when Mark showed up at Fernando's apartment on an afternoon when he wasn't supposed to be there. That's why Fernando was confused and worried, as he sensed that the matter was serious. He invited Mark in, but the man stood in the doorway as if his feet were glued to the floor.

 Every time he remembers that day, Fernando believes he can remember every detail about Mark a little more. The dark blue sweater that his mother hated, the jeans with the paint-stained hem (which never came off, even after washing countless times. Fernando doesn't know why there was paint on Mark's pants). The restless hands hanging at his sides, the sweaty forehead, the messy dark hair on top of his head (as if he had pulled out the strands before having the courage to knock on Fernando's door), the distressed look, the chapped lips. Mark's voice sounded weak but firm, in a way Fernando had never heard, when he said:

 “I’m so sorry, Nando. I can’t date a boy.”

 Then Mark announced that he was going to marry his forgotten girlfriend and move in with her in another city. He didn't invite Fernando to the wedding, he just said goodbye. Then he left, as if all those years of friendship with Fernando, the looks, the flirting, the kisses, had meant nothing.

 Fernando knew Mark's family better than his girlfriend, he had a good relationship with Mark's parents, cousins, uncles and aunts. The family dog always sat at his feet when he visited.

 But Mark chose to forget about it and leave with his girlfriend who didn't know that Mark's mother put a photo of Fernando in the Webber family album.

 Fernando watched his first love leave and take his heart with him.

 20 years later, Fernando met someone familiar.

***

 Fernando's job isn't the best, but it's enough. It could be better, of course.

 There was a day when the office workers were all the same age or similar varieties. However, as the years went by, Fernando's co-workers and friends left, some getting promotions, others going to work in other offices. One by one they went, until Fernando was left.

 Currently, he is the oldest employee in the entire sector, the most experienced. He has to deal with younger employees on a daily basis, some respected him for being an older employee and listened to him, others looked at him as if they wanted Fernando to retire and go live in a nursing home immediately. He wasn't that old, he was 42!

 Some more curious people always looked at Fernando's hands, looking for a ring that betrayed his relationship status, or for a photograph on his desk of any children or family members to remember at work, but there was none.

 Fernando liked being the tough employee who had worked at the same company for 10 years, respected and experienced, but he hated how sorry his young co-workers felt for him. There's nothing wrong with being 40 years old, never having married or having a family. Some people prefer to live like this. But just because Robert is 26 and has a wife who just gave birth to twins, wow, Fernando is the late one! How about they discuss Robert needing a promotion to support his two babies?

 Nobody knew Fernando outside the office. They didn't know how many nights Fernando looked at the search on Instagram and considered looking for Mark, just out of curiosity, to find out what he does. Contrary to popular belief, Fernando is quite up to date on memes and social media.

 Anyway, if they knew, they would think it's pathetic that a 42-year-old man is afraid of finding his ex's (ex-friend? ex-almost-boyfriend?) profile on Instagram, after 20 years. Who does this, after all, if not someone who hasn't gotten over the relationship.

 He believes that Mark doesn't even have an Instagram account, he would definitely complain about younger people being addicted to it. The thought makes Fernando laugh. Or, maybe Mark was the kind of guy people called a DILF, posting photos of his face showing off his strong jaw. Mark has always had a masculine beauty that fascinated Fernando. The question of having no idea causes a knot in Fernando's stomach.

 Anyway, despite things not being perfect, Fernando likes his routine. Every now and then he would go out to drink beer with his old co-workers and complain about younger employees who like to prove they know more than him.

 Sebastian, one of his former co-workers, said it was part of being the oldest figure in the office. Nobody invited Fernando to have lunch together because it was the same thing as leaving work accompanied by your father.

“That’s why you left, so Charles could go out to lunch with you without being bullied by his colleagues for it?” Fernando responded acidly, although his playful smile belied his humor. “After lunch, do you take him to play in the playground and buy ice cream?”

 Sebastian just rolls his eyes at his idiot friend and drinks more of his beer, not being hit by the defensive comment.

 One of the boys who works in the office is Charles, Sebastian's boy. For a while, the two worked in the same sector, but soon Sebastian transferred to another building and Charles took his place.

 Fernando thinks Charles is a good guy, he doesn't believe he deserves to suffer all the sabotage his colleagues do to him. The two don't talk, but they share a mutual respect for each other. Sometimes Charles reminds Fernando of Sebastian from a few years ago, this makes him feel good, as if his friend still works with him.

 Sebastian was right with his thinking, no one wanted to be friends with Fernando because he was the oldest, it would be a little weird. Therefore, they put a safe distance between him and respected him. And Fernando doesn't mind, anyway, he prefers to live his comfortable routine, happy not to have to take care of any 20 year olds in the office.

"Fernando?"

"Yes?"

 Fernando raised his head, looking away from the spreadsheet he had been staring at for the last 36 minutes on his computer, a function he did every day in the first hour before truly starting his work. It is important to check the data before entering it into the system.

 His eyes looked at his boss, who hovered with a hopeful smile on his lips, his hand resting on the empty table in front of Fernando's.

“As you may have seen in the email” his boss started to say. Fernando vaguely remembered an email talking about a new employee who would be joining them in April. When he looked at the cheap calendar on his desk, he saw that it was already April 12th. “Today is the day that Oscar will join our office. As I know, you are the best employee to help with his adaptation, and he will also accompany you in your work, so you won't waste any more time checking spreadsheets every day”

 For the first time, Fernando noticed a figure hidden behind the older man's body. His eyes fell on a young boy, white skin, with a few spots on his face, light brown hair similar to his eyes, wearing a poorly ironed blue shirt. The boy looked nervously at Fernando and raised a hand to wave at him.

“Hi, I’m Oscar”

“I'm sure you two will get along great! Fernando felt a little lonely on this side” the last comment was directed only at Oscar, like a whisper that wasn't said low enough “Anyway, Oscar, this is your table” he pointed to the empty table in front of Fernando's “And this is your mentor. If you have any questions, you can ask Fernando” and then he left, leaving Oscar and Fernando alone.

 Fernando faced the boy once again, not believing that he needs to take care of a 20 year old in his office from now on.

***

 Working with Oscar is peaceful, that's what Fernando can say.

 The boy barely speaks. If he hadn't introduced himself before, Fernando wouldn't have known what his voice sounded like.

 He gives Oscar some papers and a pen and asks him to mark only the payments that have been confirmed, responding every now and then when the boy asks if he needs to mark a line or not. Other than that, Oscar didn't speak. If it weren't for his presence and the sound of his breathing, Fernando wouldn't remember that there was someone sitting in front of him.

 Oscar works quickly, so Fernando constantly needs to hand him new tasks to do. The two work in an awkward silence, as the man doesn't know how to make Oscar feel at home. He never needed to introduce anyone to the environment, make them comfortable.

 When the sheets to fill out were finished, Fernando got up and stood next to Oscar to teach him how to use the office system. Fortunately, the boy learned quickly and was soon able to check other data that Fernando needed.

 The two worked well together, which surprised Fernando. Oscar was calm, serene, eager to learn new things. He only bothered the man when Oscar finished his task before him, and he would play with things on his desk or stare at Fernando over the computer.

 When the clock announced that there were 10 minutes left until lunch time, Fernando stretched out in his uncomfortable chair and let out a long yawn. No more work for now, he needs to eat.

“Hey, Oscar” he called the young man.

 Oscar looked up from the values he was checking for Fernando in the spreadsheet on his computer, and replied:

"Yes?"

“It’s almost lunch time, you can continue this in an hour”

 Oscar looked uncertainly at the spreadsheet, then at Fernando, deciding what to do. When he leaned back against the chair, Fernando knew he was victorious.

“Come on, there's a restaurant that all the employees go to” and so, Fernando walked around the office with Oscar following behind.

 Fernando's idea was to make Oscar meet and interact with the other employees. He came up with the theory that the boy kept quiet because he thought it was strange to be friends with someone older, just like everyone else did. So, he would take Oscar to lunch at the restaurant everyone goes to so he can meet other people his age.

 When they arrived, Fernando was right, all the other 20 year olds were there.

“If you want, you can sit next to them. They’re nice” not all of them, but Fernando didn’t want to scare the young man. He strategically pointed to the table where he knew Oscar would be welcomed and speak more than 3 words per hour.

 Oscar waved, but didn't move from his spot. Fernando let him take his own time, then walked to the table he always sat at to have lunch alone. When the man pulled out the chair to sit down, he noticed someone doing the same in front of him. Lifting his head, he saw Oscar sit down next to him and pick up the menu to choose something.

 To say it surprised him would be an understatement. To avoid seeming strange and unwanted Oscar there, Fernando sat in his usual place, but didn't look at the menu. He already knew what he was going to order.

 Instead, he watched Oscar.

 Oscar seemed to look at the options with interest, reading every line carefully. He seemed to have doubts as he frowned, but he quickly made up his mind and went to analyze the drinks.

 Fernando didn't understand why Oscar decided to sit with him instead of meeting other people his age. Maybe he was very introverted and Fernando is the first person he interacts with, so he will follow him everywhere like a puppy.

 When he looks at the other tables, he notices some employees staring at the scene with the same surprise.

“And you, the usual?”

 Fernando wakes up from his trance when he realizes that the waiter is serving them. He looks at Oscar, concluding that he has already ordered, then looks at the waiter and confirms that he will have the usual.

 When they are alone again, Fernando decides to talk.

“So, Oscar, are you already of legal drinking age or should I be worried?” he joked.

 Oscar's face didn't change when he replied "I turned 20 last week"

“Wow, you know how to make a guy feel young” Fernando puts his hand on his chest as if it physically hurt him “Anyway, I believe you will do well in this job. It’s just your first day, but there are nice people who will help you.”

 Oscar nods, averting his eyes to the window. Fernando stares at his jaw, vaguely remembering something. There is no time for him to think as his drinks arrive.

***

 After working for a few weeks with Oscar, Fernando concluded a few things.

 Oscar is a naturally calm person, even when he gets angry about work he seems calm. His face becomes serious, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed. But he doesn't seem as angry as he might feel.

 Oscar is a good boy, he is polite and shares little about his personal life. Fernando likes this, he doesn't feel curious to know about Oscar's life anyway.

 He just finds Oscar's insistence on staying close to him strange.

 Every day the two have lunch together, take their breaks together. When Oscar goes to get coffee, he asks if Fernando wants it. Which forced Fernando to ask every time it was his turn to get coffee, so as not to be rude to the boy.

 They don't talk much, but Oscar still prefers the older man's company over the younger ones.

 Fernando saw the other employees go to Oscar, in the rare moments when he and Fernando were not together. Maybe they invited him to lunch, to hang out with them instead of the annoying old man. Anyway, it ended with Oscar following Fernando around again.

“Maybe he likes you” said Lewis, from the other office, when Fernando shared his situation.

 Fernando made a face “He’s too young”

“Not like that-” Lewis stops to laugh, massaging his forehead with his fingertips “I meant he’s a young guy who’s working in a new place, he doesn’t know anyone. He met you and must have judged you as a good person, that's why he follows you around. You're his mentor, aren't you? So he admires your work.”

“I can't take care of this boy forever, I'm not his father” Fernando snorts, resting his hands on his hips “I need to make him make a friend, just so he can leave me alone. I can’t get any more looks every time Oscar has lunch with me.”

"You do not like him?" this time, Lewis looks at Fernando in a way as if he knew Oscar well enough to defend the boy.

 Fernando hesitates before responding, unconcerned.

“I only care about doing my job correctly, so I need him to do it too. I only worry about that, not him.”

***

 Fernando watches some stories scroll through his Instagram, seeing what people posted during their day.

 He thinks about Mark again, considering letting his curiosity get the better of him for once. Just once, find out if Mark is active on social media, then never again. God, Fernando wanted to know if Mark was even alive.

 He clicks the search bar, taking a deep breath. He types Mark's name, but when he presses the letter W and a profile appears as a suggestion, Fernando closes the application as quickly as possible, like a coward.

 Fernando stares at the ceiling of his room and hates himself for still thinking about the same man he did 20 years ago, or almost so. Mark has always made a presence in the rooms he has been in, he currently rents a gigantic space in Alonso's brain.

***

 As the days went by, Fernando got used to Oscar being part of his routine. Strangely the two work well together. One morning, after the boss passed by their desks and made a useless comment, Fernando made a joke and Oscar laughed. Fernando had to look twice to make sure that the thing on the boy's lips was a smile.

 It took a while, but Oscar stopped being completely quiet. Fernando knew it wasn't thanks to him.

 One day, when the two went out to lunch together, they passed a group of boys and one of them spoke to Oscar.

“Hi, Oscar!”

 Fernando turned to see who it was and wasn't surprised to notice Lando smiling at Oscar. Oscar in question raised his hand and greeted back with a shy smile.

“Hi, Lando” then, he followed Fernando again, perhaps too embarrassed to stay and talk, especially because Lando was not alone.

 It was then that Fernando put 2 + 2 together and concluded that Lando was the right person to make Oscar lose his shyness and let Fernando's shadow do its job again.

"Are you friends?" Fernando asked after the waiter walked away from their table.

“Hum?”

“Lando and you” he specified, a provocative smile on his lips “Are you friends?”

 Oscar stared for a few seconds before replying, with a neutral face “Oh, I don’t know, I only talked to him a few times”

 Fernando murmured in agreement, preferring to leave the matter as it is.

 When they returned to the office, Fernando separated a stack of papers and asked Oscar to deliver them to the neighboring sector.

“That’s their job. You can leave it on the representative’s desk and he will take care of it.”

“Who is the representative?” Oscar asked, holding up the papers handed to him.

 Fernando sighs deeply and closes his eyes, pretending to think.

 He snaps his fingers.

“Lando Norris! I remembered. You can leave it on his desk and he’ll know what to do.”

 Oscar nods and disappears into the hallway, following his destination. Fernando smiles into space, happy that his plan is in development. He doesn't know if Lando and Oscar have things in common, but their personalities must match.

 And by the time Oscar notices, he will have let Fernando have lunch alone again.

 It takes a while for Oscar to return to his table, exactly as Fernando expected. Lando is a chatterbox and Oscar is a listener, he would never interrupt someone from saying something even if he was restless to get back to work.

 When Oscar returns, Fernando doesn't comment on his delay or on the small smile glued to the boy's lips.

 The next day, when Fernando gets up to go to lunch, Oscar says “Ah, sorry, Fernando. Lando invited me to go have lunch with him today. Everything is ok?"

 Fernando is almost moved by Oscar's concern. He shows his best smile to the boy “That’s right, Oscar. Have fun, but not too much, I need you in an hour”

 Oscar smiles briefly and gets up to go find Lando.

Chapter Text

 The sound of keyboards typing with the tapping of hundreds of fingers greeted Fernando that morning.

 He greeted a few people, smiling politely as he walked towards his table. His mouth was dry, in dire need of a fresh cup of coffee.

 Already sitting in his usual place, Oscar was scribbling on some papers, probably checking the goals that should have been achieved last week. His face, as usual, conveyed no hint of what he was thinking or feeling. His concentration was broken as soon as Fernando stopped in front of him.

“Oh, good morning, Fernando” he said. Then, his lips made that strange curve, which Fernando believed was a smile that didn't show his teeth.

“Good morning, Oscar. How was your weekend?”

 As much as he hates to admit it, Oscar brings a familiarity that Fernando can't understand. After a few months of working with the boy, Fernando can no longer stop looking over his monitor to see what Oscar is doing. The table in front of him has been empty for decades (dramatizing) and suddenly there is someone occupying it. Fernando can no longer imagine what that empty place would be like.

 They both like routines and created their own. Oscar arrives early because he rented an apartment closer. He is living alone for the first time, Fernando knows this because the boy explained that he hasn't bought an iron yet because he was saving up for air conditioning. Fernando now teases him by telling him to get a second job because his shirts are increasingly wrinkled.

 When Oscar arrives, he organizes the work they need to do. A few minutes later, when Fernando arrives, because Fernando lives further away and always takes a while to shave, he continues what Oscar has prepared.

 They talk briefly, Fernando complains or teases Oscar about something, then one of the two gets up and goes to get coffee so they can both deal with the day.

 It's strange for Fernando to think that he enjoys seeing Oscar every day at work. Oscar doesn't have anything flashy, not in an offensive way, but the boy easily goes unnoticed. Last week, Fernando counted 4 times that someone bumped into Oscar because they didn't see him standing there.

 But for some reason, Oscar stands out to Fernando. His face is familiar, so Fernando thought about researching Oscar on Instagram and finding out more about who he is. The problem is that he doesn't know more than his first name and thinks it's too late to ask. Maybe he saw Oscar on the internet, or lost it on the streets. Somehow, Oscar has an energy that attracts Fernando.

 During the time they worked together, he managed to gather some information.

 Oscar moved last year into the apartment he rents alone. He's not dating anyone (if Oscar's nights are so similar to Fernando's, eating and watching movies, it's because this boy isn't having sex). He likes going to the beach, and he replied that he didn't know exactly what he would do on vacation, but that his father would probably take him surfing (the same every year), and that he liked that. He has a habit of running his fingers through his hair all the time, leaving it in funny ways that Fernando refuses to point out.

 And that's it. A large amount of NOTHING!

 How will Fernando discover what is so special about this dull boy that makes him want to get him coffee and a cupcake every morning?

“Here” says Fernando, placing the coffee on Oscar's table, and a chocolate cupcake that he bought from the bakery across the street. It's really hot outside, but something (someone) was enough encouragement for him to brave the hot sun and get a chocolate cupcake.

 Oscar's eyes stare at the cupcake as his hand automatically grabs the coffee. Fernando knows they shined the moment he identified the chocolate coating. He looks at Fernando next.

“Thank you” felt like he was receiving a gift he didn't deserve as he bit into the cupcake and his shoulders relaxed.

 Fernando also discovered that Oscar loves chocolate.

 Fernando thought about mentioning to Oscar that an old friend of his did the same thing when he ate chocolate, chewing it with his eyes closed and letting his shoulders slump. But he immediately censored himself.

***

 When Fernando arrived at the office the following week, his heart leapt out of his chest when he saw Oscar's desk empty.

 It wasn't like the boy to be late, and this goes against the routine they created.

 10 minutes later, Oscar came running from the elevator to his desk.

“I’m sorry… I…” he said breathlessly, resting his hand on the table to balance himself.

“Wow, calm down” Fernando was worried about the boy fainting from dehydration in front of him, so he offered him his glass of water.

 Oscar accepted without hesitation, drinking everything in one gulp.

 Taking advantage of the moment, Fernando studied Oscar. His eyes grew wider and wider as the dots connected on the map he created in his mind.

“You got laid!”

 Oscar chokes, pushing the glass back to Fernando as he organizes his desk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Come on, we’ve known each other long enough to talk about these things. I'm tired of hearing about your neighbor who complains about your cats meowing at night, when you don't even have cats” Fernando sat in her chair and dragged forward, whispering over the monitor. Oscar pretended not to see him “You clearly had sex last night”

 Oscar focused his attention on whatever his computer was showing him, looking for a way out of this conversation.

“George said you didn't send the email to the financial sector” he recalled, looking at Fernando critically.

“Unless you had sex with George, I don’t want to know about him.”

"Shit!" Oscar looked around, checking if anyone else was listening to their conversation. “Why are you saying that?”

 Fernando paused.

“Well” he began “By several signs. This is the same outfit you wore yesterday, you look more… you know, after people have had a good sex, happy? And…” Fernando pauses again, controlling himself not to laugh “In addition to those marks on your neck, I think you spent the night in the apartment of someone who doesn't live as close to the office as you do. That's why you're sweaty, you ran a few blocks after throwing whatever money you had into the Uber stuck in traffic.”

 Oscar remains silent, staring at Fernando, probably scared.

“I…” the embarrassment is clear.

“So, tell me everything about her” Fernando clasped his hands under his chin, looking dreamily into space “What she is like. What color are her eyes? If she wants to run away with you to some exotic paradise... How many children are you going to have. I hope she plays the piano.”

 Oscar opened and closed his mouth like a fish, rubbing his hand over his neck in a failed attempt to make the marks disappear. He looks like he regrets going to work that day.

 Fernando felt bad when he realized that Oscar was not just embarrassed, but uncomfortable with that joke. It wasn't his intention to upset the young man so much, so before he could open his mouth to apologize, someone came over and placed a blue folder on Oscar's desk.

“George said to send an urgent email or he will personally come and kill you. Ah, you forgot that” said Lando, taking a cell phone out of his pocket and handing it to Oscar “It fell when you jumped out of the car” he laughed, looking at Oscar in a different way, then looked at Fernando, seeing him for the first time “ Oh, good morning, Fernando” then left, as if he had done something innocent.

 Fernando and Oscar stare at each other in silence.

 Oh my God.

***

“This is totally weird,” said Lewis.

"Yes! Of all the people to choose to fuck, he chose Lando!”

“No, Fernando! I'm talking about you snooping into your co-worker's life. A young co-worker” the man emphasized the word 'young' to see if Fernando understood the strangeness of this conversation.

 Fernando rolled his eyes, playing with his empty glass. He needed more beer.

“Oscar is always strange, I can't understand it. And to put it at the top of my list of things I find strange about him is Lando Norris” he waves to a waiter, signaling that he wants his glass full “Maybe I shouldn't find it strange, I shouldn't be surprised that he wants to have sex with Lando”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Lewis chides him “If you continue to obsess over your young co-worker, I will report you myself.”

"I did nothing!" Fernando defended himself.

"Yet! You want to search for him on social media!” Lewis accused

“It’s what everyone does these days, why am I the weird one?”

“Because-” Lewis growled, pressing his fingers against his temple. “Please tell me you don’t talk about this with anyone else.”

“Relax, there’s no need to be jealous, you’re my best friend”

 Lewis stares at Fernando, irritated.

“Don’t bother the kid because you’re a weirdo. If it’s not me, he will report you.”

 Fernando thought for a few seconds if he could convince Oscar that he is not a perverted old man wanting to investigate him, but an old man with free time when he is not eating or watching movies.

 He concluded that no explanation helps him.

"I'll stop"

 Lewis seems truly grateful to hear this.

"Thanks"

“I’m just going to find out his last name before-”

"Stop!"

***

 To show himself as a better person, Fernando arrived at the office with both hands full of fresh coffee. He handed Oscar a glass and sat down with his.

“Thank you” the young man thanked, without looking away from the monitor.

"You are welcome"

 They sit in an awkward silence until they speak again.

“I'm sorry, Oscar” “I'm sorry, Fernando” they say at the same time.

“Wait, why are you apologizing?” Fernando asked, pointing an accusing finger in his direction.

“Ah…” Oscar didn’t know exactly how to explain beyond: “My mother taught me to always respect the elders and I was rude last time.”

 Fernando doesn't know whether to be offended by Oscar calling him old so naturally or whether to laugh at his polite upbringing.

“Don’t worry about it. I owe you an apology, I didn't want to cross the line and make you uncomfortable. And I’m not old.”

 To his relief, Oscar laughs.

"Right, thanks. And that’s okay, I just didn’t want… well, to be found out like that.”

 Fernando raised his hands against his chest “I don’t have any problems with your sexuality, if that’s what worries you”

“I didn’t- okay, I worried a little” Oscar scratches his head, looking away “I just didn’t want to cause a scene. I'm the new employee and I don't want any rumors to arise about my personal life. I also didn’t want you to lose respect for me after finding out that I was, well, you know, with another guy.”

 If Fernando could go back in time, he would go back to the moment when this whole mess started and instead of teasing Oscar to the limit, he would mess up his hair and send the email that George bothered so much about.

“I still respect you, Oscar. Nothing interferes with that”

 Oscar looked at him, truly happy to hear that.

“That means a lot coming from you, thank you, Fernando”

 Fernando got up seconds later and grabbed his wallet, he was going to buy some chocolate cupcakes.

***

“What are your parents like?” Fernando asked on a Wednesday afternoon.

"Excuse me?"

 The man lifted his head above the monitor and smiled “Ah, you know, about you and your novels. I got curious. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to or if it’s too traumatic.”

“Jesus” Oscar laughed “It’s okay, I, ah…” the boy thought “My parents know, but my father is the one who gives me the most support”

 Fernando frowned.

“When you say support, you mean…”

“That he’s happy for me, he understands me” the second part is said more quietly, Fernando barely hears it “My mother… she loves me, we still talk, she just didn’t seem very happy”

 Fernando finds himself more interested in understanding what the young man means by this, but he doesn't want to ask too many questions and cross the line again.

“When you say that you and your mother still talk, do you say that her and your father live far away or…”

 Oscar takes a moment to respond “They got divorced after I came out, my parents. I’ve lived with my dad ever since, I mean, I moved out recently-”

 Fernando feels bad for the boy. He wants to find this woman and understand and ask what is wrong with her to want to continue this way.

“You don't need to feel sorry for me” Oscar continues talking “My mom loves me, like I said, we still talk. But since I came out, she can't see me if my dad is around.”

 Fernando finds this even stranger “Why?”

 Oscar shrugs, indifferently “I don’t know, she says it’s his fault”

 Every day that passes, Oscar shows himself to be a box of surprises.

***

“So where is your boyfriend?”

"He is not my boyfriend"

“Did you even tell the poor guy that?”

 Fernando and Oscar went out to lunch together that day, when they arrived at the restaurant, the older man realized that he hadn't seen Lando's familiar head of hair all morning.

 Fortunately, Oscar still feels comfortable being around Fernando, and no reports have been forwarded to human resources. The two still have lunch together almost always.

 Since finding out about Oscar and Lando, Fernando has noticed their interactions becoming more frequent at work. Apparently they are not in a relationship, perhaps knowing each other, enough to make Oscar nervous when Lando would flirt with him in front of someone.

 Oscar rolls his eyes, looking at the menu even though he already knows what he’s going to order “I don’t think we’re going to go that far”

"What? Why?" Fernando speaks frantically “It’s not possible that you’re already tired of having sex with him”

 Oscar looks at him the same way Lewis does when he exaggerates what he says. Fernando needs to be more careful.

“Sorry, sometimes I say things without thinking.”

 The boy sighed “I… well, he hasn’t responded to my messages for a few days, so I think he’s the one who got tired of me”

“Shut up” Fernando takes offense in Oscar’s place, looking at him irritated.

 Oscar shrugs, as if he has nothing left to explain.

“It's been 3 days and he hasn't said anything since last time. But it's okay, sometimes it happens. Almost every guy I've ever dated says I'm kind of boring.”

 Fernando wants to punch himself in the face now.

“Shut up, and I'll repeat this until you stop saying nonsense like this” he scratches his beard “You're not boring, Oscar. We're talking about Lando! I know that guy, he's always the one who gets kicked in the ass and not the other way around.”

“Wow” he says.

 Fernando shakes his head, believing that Oscar understood him “See? I don’t believe you’re the problem, what did you say to him?”

 Oscar fishes his cell phone out of his coat, it was unusually cold that day, and opened it in conversations with Lando, thinking why was he sharing this with Fernando anyway?

“Here” he handed over the cell phone, letting the older man analyze it with his own eyes.

 Fernando reads the latest messages and tries to find something that would show Lando's disinterest or that Oscar was being boring. What he saw was nothing more than two young people exchanging some flirtations and how Lando enthusiastically responds to everything Oscar says, even the 'good morning' messages.

 He returns the cell phone “They robbed him and stole his cell phone, there is no other explanation”

 Oscar looks at him skeptically, still a little embarrassed for trusting Fernando so much. “Do you think so?”

“I can’t believe he’s ignoring you on purpose” an idea pops into Fernando’s wicked head “Wait, does he follow you on Instagram?”

 Oscar nods, much to Fernando's happiness.

“Post some stories that will catch his attention, something he likes about you, I don’t know. But do this with your close friends, please”

“Do you think this will make him text me?”

 Fernando nods, confidently.

“I know Lando, whatever is making him an idiot will stop when he sees you posting a shirtless photo” Oscar grimaces “Won't that help? What a shame, it usually works for others”

“I don’t want to post a photo of myself… like this. And won’t a normal one seem like I’m really boring?” a light crosses Oscar's eyes. “Oh, well, if you know him, do you think, I don't know, he's seeing someone else?”

 If he really is seeing someone else and is keeping Oscar waiting, Fernando will pay a less-than-friendly visit to Lando's section.

“No” Fernando replies, but he has his doubts. He has another idea “Well, that sure gets attention”

"What?"

 Fernando smiles.

“You know when people post an old photo and say things like 'Oh, I miss that day at bowling, it was so funny' and tag someone? You can do this, tag a friend, whatever, and make Lando jealous.”

“Does this really work? Or rather, is it a good idea?” Oscar is absolutely right to doubt Fernando.

“If Lando is making you think he's seeing someone else, why don't you make him think something similar?”

 Oscar stared for a second, and then let out a long sigh. He made a decision.

“Shit, I know I'm going to regret it” he mutters, searching for a photo in the photo gallery.

“Do it, Oscar! And then wait a few hours- no, wait a day to respond after Lando texts. Oh my god, if Instagram existed when I was a teenager…”

 It takes Oscar a while to find a photo that he likes. He chooses one, but is undecided whether to post it or not, biting his lip. He shows it to Fernando.

“Is this photo good?”

 In the photo there is Oscar, obviously, next to another blond boy. They are younger than they are now, Fernando assumes, and they are on the beach. The blonde boy's arm is around Oscar's tanned shoulders and they look like good friends.

“So you have a photo of you without a shirt…” Fernando teases, laughing at the other.

“We were at the beach!” Oscar defends himself, picking up his cell phone “Should I post it or not?”

"Who is this guy? If I may ask”

“His name is Logan, he’s my childhood friend. We dated once” Fernando furrows his eyebrows when he notices that Oscar is holding himself back from smiling “Lando knows about him” he explains next.

 Fernando’s eyes widen: “You cheeky boy, I knew there was nothing innocent about you!” he jokingly touches Oscar’s shoulder “Post it right now, tell him how much you miss him and want to see him again”

 Oscar laughs, writing a generic caption for the stories. He shows it to Fernando to check and he can read 'I need another vacation like this 😅@logansargent99'.

"Yes!" Fernando claps, proud of making Oscar take action and stop being ignored by someone like Lando Norris.

 Oscar posts the stories and leaves his cell phone on the table facing up. He looks uncertain all of a sudden.

“Did I do the right thing?”

“Oh, Oscar, you can bet so.”

 It doesn't take long for the cell phone screen to light up, showing a notification. When Oscar looks, he laughs and starts writing something.

“Logan saw and reposted the stories” he says, turning the cell phone for Fernando to see. Indeed, this friend of Oscar, Logan, reposted the stories and added the caption 'NOW!!🥲😂❤️'.

“This is going better than I expected” Fernando says. He sees a chance to do something he promised Lewis he wouldn't do. “If it's not weird, can you tell me what your name is on Instagram?” He doesn't want to seem too eager, but he takes his cell phone out of his pocket to enter the search bar.

 Luckily Oscar is distracted laughing at his cell phone to call Fernando weird and run away “Sure, look for @oscarpiastri81.”

 Oscar Piastri. Interesting.

 He types it into the search bar and immediately finds the profile, clicking follow without hesitation.

“I need you to send me the screenshots of the conversations later when Lando comes back like a sorry dog”

 Oscar laughs, turning the cell phone to Fernando once again.

“I think you can see now”

 In the notification bar of Oscar's cell phone, there was the clear message sent from Lando.

'Hi, Oscar! Sorry it took me so long to respond...'

 Fernando briefly thinks of Oscar as his apprentice, as his boss and friends keep reminding him, and reconsiders everything he's been teaching him. He doesn't consider it wrong at all. Oscar had a problem and Fernando, like a good mentor, guided him to the solution. A solution that Sebastian and Lewis would not approve of.

 But it worked, because Oscar is smiling while ignoring Lando's message, busy eating his lunch.

 Fernando thinks that this wasn't wrong because he would have given the same advice to a friend, or to a son who was having relationship problems. Fernando is scared to think of Oscar as his son. Certainly not, this scenario should never exist.

 Oscar is just a young employee who seeks knowledge and Fernando is his mentor who helps him in a mature way at times. Telling Oscar to reply to George's email with 'fuck you' wasn't mature, but it made the boy laugh.

 Fernando doesn't think he would be a good father. He's too old, anyway. It's more responsibility than he's used to. Even though Oscar is old enough to be his son, Fernando doesn't see him that way, no way.

 A cold draft invades the restaurant, making Fernando's hair stand on end.

“Did you bring another coat? I think it's going to get cold. You should wear gloves, your hands are shaking. Don't you have gloves? Forget it, I definitely have a pair in my drawer, you can have them.”

Chapter Text

 The rumors that the office was haunted by soulless bodies were true. At least they seemed real enough when Fernando saw Oscar for the first time that morning.

 Oscar's hair has grown in the last few months, Fernando noticed. It was as if the boy didn't care.

 In addition to the messy hair, the clear disappointment in Oscar's eyes is noticeable. There were few emotions that Fernando could understand through his usual neutral expression, which undoubtedly bordered on sadness.

“I hope your crazy neighbor didn't die, I liked her” Fernando says when he's close enough, trying to share a little humor with that poor shaken soul.

 He doesn't understand why Oscar is like this, since he excitedly said he was going on a date with Lando last night. Things must not have ended very pleasantly.

“No, she's fine. She still tells me to control my cats. That don’t exist” Oscar rubs his hands against his face and sighs “I’m just tired.”

“Tired because it was a good night, I hope” the smile he expected from Oscar didn't come, so he truly worried “Shit, get this suspense over with. Who died?"

 Oscar snorts, adjusting his posture in the chair. He bites his lip, a habit he has done often, thinking about how to respond without looking stupid.

“Did you know that Lando and Carlos dated?”

 Of course Fernando knew, the whole office knew. But Oscar, apparently. Fernando forgot to mention it, or just didn't think it was important.

“Yes… but what does that have to do with it?”

 Oscar stares at Fernando for a few seconds “He showed up at my date with Lando, and invited other friends. So our date turned into a reunion of old friends, apparently.”

"What?! And what did Lando do?” Fernando gets angry, Oscar wasn't supposed to go back to work the next day with his head down.

“He apologized to me and went to talk to Carlos about the intrusion, when I was alone one of Lando's friends told me that he and Carlos dated in the past” Oscar scratches his head, becoming restless again. He brooded over it, so much so that he could barely sleep. “I think Carlos knows that Lando and I are going out and is… is…”

 Fernando adds: “Sabotaging?”

 Even though he didn't feel like answering, Oscar agreed: “Yes. I noticed he seemed strange to me. Sometimes he's super nice and talks a lot, then he acts weird and wants me as far away as possible. You know what, maybe it’s all in my head, forget what I said.”

"No!" Fernando is perplexed to hear this, especially because Carlos was never a person, well, like that. He didn't know who Lando dated after Carlos, if Carlos acted similarly, but it didn't matter because what happened last night was enough to convince him that Oscar doesn't deserve to go through that. "You can, I don't know, talk to Lando and make things clear between you, no? Lando wants to date you.”

“I believe so” despite the confirmation, Oscar doesn’t seem very confident.

 Fernando has a bad feeling.

"What?"

 Oscar avoided Fernando's eyes and murmured something, but it was very low and the man didn't understand.

"How it is?"

 Oscar starts to get angry about having that conversation.

“I said Lando told me that since he and Carlos broke up, they still, you know, hang out.”

 There is a silence between them that Fernando takes a while to break.

"Sorry? They left together while you and Lando…” from Oscar’s face, Fernando automatically understands the response “Shit! Why?"

"I do not know!" Oscar raises his voice, not very patient again “He says it happened sometimes, but it's only happened a once since we started going out. It's complicated, I don't know” he looks even more tired “I just… I was thinking about it all night. Lando said he likes me, but Carlos is always there. I don't know if I'm crazy or if Carlos really pretends to like me. I just know that in the end Lando will make his choice and it won’t be me.”

“Don't you dare say that, you're much more interesting than Carlos” Fernando considered Carlos a pleasant person until that moment. Who in the world wouldn't like Oscar? “I know Lando likes you and will open his eyes and choose you. If he and Carlos broke up once, it was for a reason.”

“Lando might like me, but I don’t think he likes me enough to choose me.”

 This sentence from Oscar was like a punch in the stomach. Fernando can physically feel himself running out of air.

 He doesn't answer anything after that, deciding to focus his mind on work instead of a certain tall brunette who didn't choose him.

***

 When Mark and Fernando kiss for the first time, they are both drunk. Despite this, Fernando remembers that night perfectly.

 Mark showed up at his apartment with some bottles and said he just wanted to relax, as Fernando had an equally tiring day (and there would be no need to wake up early the next morning) he didn't hesitate to open the door wider and let the other body in.

 They ordered pizza because no one was willing to cook, Fernando chose a movie he liked at the moment and Mark pretended he liked the choice.

 They talked, drank and ate, enjoying the evening normally. Fernando noticed that Mark was a little tense, his finger often played with the details of the beer bottle and he was clenching his teeth between sighs.

“Something bothering you?” When Mark didn't respond, lost inside his own head, Fernando stretched his body over the sofa and touched his shoulder with his fingertips, catching his attention. “Mark?”

"Hmm?" the brunette looked at him confused, then raised his eyebrows to the height of his hair and said frantically “Oh, nothing, eh... nothing. Wait, what did you say?”

 Fernando felt bad “I asked if you were okay”

 Mark opened his mouth and then closed it, thinking about how to respond. His face returns to tiredness, seeming to give up on an internal battle.

“I don’t know, Nando. I'm feeling strange today, sorry I'm not very chatty” he laughs dryly, touching the spout of the bottle to his lips as he speaks, already a little drunk “Actually, I just came here to hear you talk. I thought it would make me feel better.”

 Even with the worry and those strange things his stomach does, Fernando smiled and playfully slapped Mark on the shoulder.

“Okay, I can keep talking. Do you want to hear about the dream I had last night?”

 Mark smiled, nodding positively and sitting more comfortably on Fernando's sofa.

 The night continued. The coffee table was cluttered with half-empty pizza boxes, bottles piling up on top, and the two of them talking and laughing as they became more drunk.

 Fernando never found out what made Mark like that, however, he was happy when he was Mark's choice to go to at this complicated time.

 At a certain point, neither of them cared anymore about the movie that was on TV. Fernando remembered a new topic after the last one ended and Mark barely blinked as he looked at him.

 Without allowing himself any moment of hesitation, Mark corrects his position on the sofa and approaches Fernando suddenly, forgetting the empty bottle he was previously holding.

 Fernando stops talking, scared by the sudden change in behavior and approach of his friend. The hairs on his arms stand up when his eyes line up with Mark's. He doesn't move away, though, he doesn't want to move away.

 For a second, Mark let Fernando make the decision whether to walk away or not. When Fernando didn't, Mark leaned over and pulled the other man's face closer until their lips met.

 It was a somewhat clumsy kiss, they both felt excited and were confused due to the alcohol. First it was a simple touch that quickly progressed, Fernando couldn't keep his hands to himself and soon grabbed Mark with the same intensity.

 Fernando had shaved that morning, Mark had not. That's why Mark's beard itched Fernando's face and he melted at the sensation.

 When they broke apart for air, there was a wild look in Mark's eyes. Fernando never saw him like this.

 He wanted to ask so many things. Why are you kissing me? What made you want to kiss me now? Is it just because we're drunk? Have you ever wanted to kiss me before? And your girlfriend?

 But most of all, there was: Can we do it again?

 As if he could read Fernando's mind, Mark wasted no time in taking possession of those lips again. It was as if he had tasted water for the first time after a disturbingly hot day.

 That strange feeling in the pit of Fernando's stomach grew and he found himself fascinated by a new feeling. He was in love with his best friend, in the purest way he could. After that kiss, no other would compare and perhaps would never be able to love another person equally.

 Mark spent the night. They don't talk about the kiss the next morning.

***

 If Fernando is asked if his meeting with Lando by the coffee machine was planned, he will claim that it was just a coincidence that the two of them were in the same place at the same time.

 It's not common for their paths to cross, but it's always good to talk to your co-workers from time to time.

 Lando is there first, Fernando approaches slowly and shows the friendliest smile he can.

“Good morning, Lando!” he says excitedly.

 Lando certainly couldn't hide his surprise that Fernando seemed so happy to see him, but he returned the smile.

“Good morning, Fernando. Too much work today?”

 Fernando shrugs “The usual”

 They sit in silence, waiting for the coffee machine to finish doing its work. Employees have complained that it always takes a long time for the coffee to be ready and that they have to buy a new machine. Lando never realized how slowly he actually took until that moment, when he anxiously wanted to go back to his table and escape the gaze Fernando has on him.

"So, are you okay?" Fernando asks casually.

"Hmm? Yes, of course. And you?" Lando responds, switching from holding his weight from one foot to the other. Fernando notices the young man's tension, as if Lando knew why he was there, but doesn't feel empathy for him.

“Okay” he responds “Do you come from a good family, Lando?”

"What?"

“Ah, I’m just curious. I heard you have some brothers and sisters, don’t you?”

“Yes…” Lando narrows his eyes “My family is good, yes”

"Good. And do you intend to work here forever or do you have any ambitions? I don’t know, maybe a higher position”

“I- Fernando, are you really okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” he is obviously smiling yellow “Sorry, I'm being nosy. Just wanted to chat while we wait for this stupid coffee maker to do something right.”

“No, I mean, it’s okay. It just surprised me” Lando turns his face to the side and coughs, taking advantage of the few seconds to think if he really needs that coffee, and then looks back at Fernando “We can talk. How about we play 20 questions? You must know this game”

 Fernando pretends to find the provocation funny at his age “Of course! You can start"

“Okay…uh, what’s your favorite color?”

"Triangle. Are you using Oscar as a distraction?”

 Lando chokes on his own saliva and needs a few seconds to compose himself. “What the fuck?!”

 His exalted tone of voice attracts some attention from the surrounding employees, which makes the young man uncomfortable. Fernando doesn't care, he measures Lando up and down.

 Lando swallows hard, feeling the full force of Fernando's controlled fury, but he doesn't look away.

 Brave or foolish. Fernando hadn't decided which of the two was the boy's case.

 Perhaps courage and foolishness were closely related when it came to him.

“You and Oscar have gotten closer in recent months, which is none of my business, obviously” Fernando clarifies “But Carlos has been disturbing my colleague's peace, which interferes with our work, and if my work is harmed because you are trying to make your ex jealous so yeah, now it’s my business.”

 Fernando feigns apathy, saying that Oscar's hurt feelings don't affect him. He thinks he can hide very well that he doesn't care that much about Oscar.

 Preferring to believe that what bothers him is seeing young people being stupid getting in the way of his work is easier than believing he sees a bit of himself in Oscar.

 It's as if the film is repeating itself and Oscar is playing the role of Fernando in this story.

 Painfully, Fernando doesn't want to see what happened before again.

“I’m not trying to make Carlos jealous!” this time Lando reacts, affected by the accusation “I- not that it’s any of your business, but I really like Oscar”

 Fernando wants to laugh, but some voice inside him convinces him that Lando is being sincere.

 He doesn't know why he would expect anything different.

“Then get rid of Carlos, for the love of God, make a choice. If I need to correct Oscar again for forwarding a wrong email because you left him without a response, I will choose for you myself.”

 It's not like Fernando has any authority on the matter, but if Lando takes too long to respond, Fernando will advise Oscar to end any relationship between them and tell him to find someone else more decent. Something he should have done himself a few years ago, when friends of his gave him the advice.

 The closer Oscar gets to looking like young Fernando, the more afraid Fernando feels.

 Lando is not pleased with Fernando's words, but agrees to take action. He knows it's not fair to Oscar.

 Finally the coffee machine stops, finishing filling the cup.

 Before Lando can do anything, Fernando reaches out and takes the cup and takes a sip, claiming that coffee. Then he turns his back and leaves.

***

“Lando invited me on a date” Oscar says, looking at the landscape through the car window as Fernando drives.

 Fernando does a good imitation of someone who is surprised by the news “Wow, that’s good, isn’t it?”

 It took 2 days for Lando to call and ask Oscar out. Oscar was never interested in golf in his life, but Lando assured him that he would teach Oscar everything he needed to know.

 Oscar nods “I feel nervous, we didn’t have a real date last time” damn Carlos “I’m also nervous because my dad is coming back from a long work trip and is going to visit my apartment for the first time”

 Fernando laughed “Are you worried about him noticing the decoration? Your father was 20 years old, his apartment certainly looked worse.”

 This makes Oscar laugh “He said he wouldn't notice if something was missing unless it was very essential, like a fridge or bed. He spent more time sleeping at his friends’ apartment than his own, anyway.”

"See? You have one more point than him, you sleep in your own apartment” Fernando parks the car in a space close enough to the entrance of the restaurant “Now come on, my stomach has already started eating that organ that no one cares about”

“The appendix?” Oscar asks, opening the car door.

“Yes” Fernando reflects “You know what, I think it’s okay for my stomach to eat it anyway”

 That day, Fernando decided to go to lunch in a different place and promptly invited Oscar. They moved a little away from the office, but the place would be worth it.

“I used to come here when I was younger. I can't believe I said that.” Fernando guides Oscar between the tables and chooses a place for the two of them. The restaurant is already very old, with memories of university students who made the place their second home decorating the walls. Young people who came from far away and missed home claimed that Mama's food tasted the same as the food at home.

“Why did you bring me here?” Oscar asks, looking at the menu with interest. There weren't things very different from what he already knew.

“I believe that after the week you've had, what you need is a good plate of food from Mama” Fernando waves to a waiter who walks towards them “And if you behave, I'll buy you ice cream later”

 Oscar laughs, not believing the promise.

 They place their orders and chat. Fernando tells some stories from his youth, how that place was incredible a few years ago and that his friends loved going there. He says he got drunk and fell off a table and broke his wrist.

 He shows Oscar the scar.

“My best friend was desperate, he drove to the hospital holding the steering wheel with both hands like this” Fernando imitated the funny pose, acting out driving a steering wheel while scared and drunk.

"And you?" the boy asked laughing.

"And me? Oscar, I couldn't stop screaming! That’s why my friend was so desperate.”

 Fernando feels happy remembering that night. Mark was so worried, he didn't leave Fernando's side for days. Even with his brain confused, he asked the doctor questions and promised to make sure Fernando rested.

 For a week, Mark lived with Fernando. He woke up every night to check that Fernando wasn't sleeping on his wrist in a cast.

“Sometimes my father tells me stories from his youth. The way he lived, it seems like he was wild.”

“Most university students 20 years ago were like this. We liked to believe we had 9 lives.” Fernando sighs nostalgically: “Then we get older, we get married and have children and we have stories like this left to tell the next generation. I know that you are very calm and your parents raised you well, that reassures me” he rests his hand on his chest where his heart is, acting relieved. In a way, he really is. If he heard from Oscar that he got drunk, fell and broke his wrist, Fernando would also need to be hospitalized for having a heart attack.

 Oscar laughs more, making his eyes crinkle even more “Yes, my father certainly wouldn’t be proud of that. He tells me to do what he says and not do what he did.”

“That man is a wise man” Fernando replies.

 They sit in comfortable silence for a while, until Oscar interrupts.

 His voice is hesitant when he asks, “Did you never want to, I don’t know, get married?”

 Oscar is the first young person in the office brave enough to ask Fernando this. If he was anyone else, he'd offer a sarcastic comment and be done with it.

 But it was Oscar, and Fernando wants to be honest.

“I wanted to” he confesses “But I believed that if I couldn't spend the rest of my life with this person, I couldn't spend it with anyone else”

 Instead of mocking the dramatic old man, Oscar looks at him sympathetically. It seems like he wants to ask more.

 Fernando feels a great need to confess to Oscar that he is also attracted to guys. To this day, Oscar was the only one brave enough to tell Fernando a raw part about him. The older man feels like an imposter for pretending he doesn't want to tell Oscar.

 Maybe it's because if he says it, there will be something else for Oscar to identify with. The last thing Fernando wants is for Oscar to end up like him.

 Fernando pays the bill and tells Oscar to go get him some ice cream from the freezer, at the back of the restaurant.

“I was serious” he says.

 When Oscar is away, the man at the register talks to Fernando.

“I knew you would be one of the first to return to this place”

 Fernando looks and realizes that the man is the son of the previous owner, who is resting in peace. He's older, obviously, with some wrinkles on his face. The last time he saw him, Fernando remembered him working for his mother as a waiter, carrying heavy trays with his thin arms.

“Jeremy! I haven’t seen him in years.”

 Jeremy shrugs “I’m still here, you guys that way though”

 Fernando scratches the back of his head guiltily “Yes, I’m sorry. This place is still amazing”

“I try my best to keep the essence alive. My mother built this place to be a family environment, but it welcomed more drunk college students than happy families” they both laugh “Anyway, you were family. My mother told me and I agreed with her, you would leave but one day you would return, this time with your children.”

 Jeremy nods towards an Oscar deciding which ice cream to choose for himself and Fernando, because he would obviously choose one for Fernando too.

 Fernando blushes “A-Ah, no, he is not-”

“He seems like a really good kid, you did a good job” Jeremy praises, and before he can ask about Mark, Oscar returns and Fernando throws all the bills he has in his pockets to pay for the ice creams. He holds Oscar's arm and the two quickly leave, with an excuse about being late.

"Are you okay?" Oscar asks inside the car, looking worriedly at Fernando.

“Nando, are you okay?!” Mark asks for the fifth time, looking scared at his friend who is crying and screaming from the pain in his wrist. His eyes show sincere concern.

Fernando needs a minute to catch his breath, suddenly Oscar looks a lot like Mark. Maybe it was the eyes, the worried way of speaking, the scenery of the car. He takes the ice cream that Oscar brought him, closes his eyes and tastes the chocolate, slowly relaxing.

Oscar doesn't look like Mark.

Oscar is not his son.

Now he understands how chocolate always calmed Mark.

When he opens his eyes again and looks at the young man beside him, Fernando is fine.

“Yes, Oscar. I just met an old friend and felt nostalgic.”

Mark held Fernando's good hand, periodically giving it comforting squeezes, to remind Fernando that Mark is still there even though he can't see him thanks to his closed eyes.

Mark has a chocolate bar, of course he does. He breaks off a piece and puts it in Fernando's mouth. The hospital room is cold, but Fernando feels warm. The chocolate melts in his mouth and he calms down, content to have Mark with him.

Maybe the reason Fernando avoids eating chocolate is because the candy always makes him feel like he still has Mark.

Chapter Text

 Oscar and Lando walk along the golf course.

 Oscar is a little hesitant, worried that he'll embarrass himself because he's never played golf before. At least not in a serious way. Lando is almost always talking, ensuring that everything Oscar does is perfect, or close to it.

 All signs indicate that this date will be better than the last. Lando apologized several times for Carlos, who never went to Oscar regretting crossing the line. This time Oscar hopes to return to his apartment without his pockets heavy with disappointment.

 Lando likes explaining instructions to Oscar, the way his brown eyes light up every time he speaks. Sometimes he behaves like an idiot, but the bunny smile assures him that he is going the right way.

 Lando didn't think Oscar was the type of person to look twice at when he met him. He thought it was funny that the new employee followed Fernando everywhere, however, as he noticed that his head turned more often towards the table where Oscar was having lunch, he realized that the new employee had something that attracted him.

 Carlos and Oscar didn't look anything alike, so there was no point comparing them. Perhaps what drew Lando's attention to Oscar was precisely that.

 And, of course, he was cute in a nerdy way.

 When they actually talked for the first time, Lando tried his best to make a good impression. Oscar listened to every word he said, nodding every now and then to show he understood. Sometimes Lando talked too much, and by the time he realized it was too late.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t even let you speak.”

 Contrary to what he expected, Oscar's cheeks turned a little red when he confessed, his face forcedly neutral.

“It's okay, I like hearing you talk. What did Max say about the printer?”

 There were a few things he discovered about Oscar every day, one of his favorites was how Oscar's eyes widened every time Lando playfully flirted with him in front of the others. As time passed, Oscar got used to it and felt comfortable enough to roll his eyes in front of Lando, but his red ears never changed.

 Realizing he was attracted to Oscar wasn't a surprise.

 Lando noticed that Oscar seemed to like him too, so it was easy to invite him to his apartment with the innocent excuse of needing help fixing the shower.

“Remember when you said your dad taught you basic things about fixing other things?” Lando said one afternoon, biting his lip excitedly, “Do you mind helping me with my shower? It’s making a weird noise and I barely have any water.”

 Oscar, like the good person he is, agreed to go that same day.

 Lando wasn't a horrible host, he offered water and tried to make Oscar comfortable by lending him his slippers.

 The shower, in fact, needed repair. Oscar asked if Lando had a toolbox and soon got to work. The blue-eyed man thought about letting the other work, preparing something for them to eat later and maybe watching a movie on the couch, but he couldn't move away from the bathroom door. Somehow, seeing Oscar roll up his sleeves to his elbows and stand up to fix his shower was very appealing. Don't blame him, Lando couldn't stop watching!

 Lando never felt the need to bite the people he dated, not even Carlos. But something about Oscar awakened this desire in him, perhaps it was because, in Lando's mind, Oscar appeared to be delicious.

“Sorry to take up so much of your time, it’s late. What do you think about us ordering a pizza as payment?” Lando asked.

 Oscar knew that if he stayed for dinner, it would be even later to get back to his apartment, which wasn't very close. If that was the case, he would have to spend the night, and that was exactly what Lando wanted.

“Just don’t put pineapple on pizza and we’ll be fine.”

 The two sat on the couch to watch a movie while they ate dinner. Lando got them some beers, wanting to make Oscar less tense.

 As the hours passed, Oscar could no longer hide his yawns. Lando noticed and got up to fix the couch for Oscar to sleep on. Before separating and each going their own way, Lando called Oscar to his room to lend him some comfortable clothes to sleep in.

“You won’t sleep well in those pants” might have been an excuse to see some skin on those thighs, but Lando didn’t feel the least bit guilty about offering Oscar a pair of shorts.

 They didn't look very different, but Lando's outfits filled the right places at the Oscars.

 For a brief moment, Lando realized he hadn't made any advances beyond small flirtations. In the morning Oscar would leave and they would perhaps be alone again for a while. In an act of courage, Lando put his hand on Oscar's shoulder, bringing him closer.

“Good night, Oscar,” he said, his voice sounding lower and huskier with anticipation. When he started to move away and saw Oscar's body leaning towards him, not wanting to lose his approach, any self-control went out the window.

 Lando's hand moved up his neck until he cupped Oscar's jaw, his thumb moved against his cheek, so close to his lips. Lando's eyes went up to look at Oscar's brown ones, which were already looking at him, so it was Oscar who made the first move and kissed him.

 Lando would use the excuse of kissing him goodnight, then everyone would move away and sleep in different rooms. But they both knew they wouldn't part anytime soon after tasting each other's lips.

 Oscar's skin began to tingle, the same way it does when a hand that's about to tickle gets closer and closer. He feels like a puppet, letting Lando hold him and kiss him however he wants, and Lando loves it.

 At some point Oscar's knees touched Lando's bed and he found himself falling, breaking the kiss with a startled sigh. Above him, Lando laughed, wasting no time in climbing onto the bed next.

“It's a shame you won't be wearing my clothes any longer” Lando said before kissing Oscar's lips again, this time biting, like he wanted previously.

 And he wasn't lying when he said that, because he soon positioned himself between Oscar's legs for balance and used both hands to lift the shirt up to Oscar's chin. The way Lando looked at him made the younger man think of Lando as a predator in every way.

 Lando bit his favorite parts, lingering longer on his neck and thighs. After hearing the sighs and low moans that the other let out, he wished that Oscar would never leave.

 The next morning the two shared the newly repaired shower. It was completely Lando's fault that they were late, he couldn't help it.

 Lando felt an overwhelming desire to date Oscar, to see him in his apartment every day and make him feel so good. His mistake was telling Carlos that he invited Oscar to his apartment days later.

 Lando was so angry, he told Carlos, after dragging the other man to his room, how stupid that was. Carlos pretended he didn't understand that it was a date, so he invited himself and called Lando's other friends too.

 Oscar later claimed he needed to leave. So quickly he arrived and then left. Lando felt bad for being a coward and not kicking Carlos out the moment he showed up at his door.

 The two didn't speak to each other after that, Lando decided to give Oscar some space and think. He and Carlos broke up for a reason, but they met sometimes when the need of not having a date knocked on their doors. Lando dated Carlos a few times while dating other people, he did this before inviting Oscar to his apartment for the first time. But after tasting the taste of Oscar's lips, he didn't want to know about kissing anyone else.

 It's complicated to explain, maybe Oscar didn't understand and thought the worst of Lando.

 Before asking Oscar out on his failed first date, Lando was dealing with the dilemma of getting into a new relationship again. He liked Oscar, a lot, but his insecurities were about not meeting the other person's expectations.

 But when he saw Oscar's stories with Logan, Oscar's friend and also his ex, an ugly pang of jealousy tightened his chest and he stopped being an idiot and went to respond to Oscar's messages.

 The worst of all was when the fucking Fernando Alonso went to talk to him about his situation.

 He heard from other employees about how Fernando had softened over the last few months towards the new employee, and from what Oscar told him they had a friendly friendship. Lando was curious to ask if Fernando was the type who liked to date younger guys, but he never did. But after that conversation, it became clear that Fernando saw Oscar as a nephew to protect.

 Another time, when he worked up the courage, he asked Oscar for a second date. Golf. Oscar said yes. This time, Lando didn't say anything to Carlos.

 Luckily for them, this second date is being everything the first wasn't.

 Inventing reasons to touch Oscar, adjusting his posture, was Lando's gold mine. The way Oscar was encouraged by the compliments made him save some for later.

 Things go better than expected, Lando wins and kisses Oscar, claiming that there will be more opportunities for him to learn how to play well. Maybe one day he can compare himself to Lando.

“You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

 Lando laughs more, accepting the kiss that belies Oscar's anger.

 They go to eat at a restaurant and Lando shakes Oscar's hand across the table.

“Don’t look now, but on your right is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

 Even though he found it a little strange, Oscar turned his head to the right, curious to see who Lando was talking about. His eyebrows furrow and he's about to call Lando crazy because he doesn't see anyone other than a glass wall separating them from the outside. When he looks at his reflection and understands, his ears are already heating up.

“That was cheesy” Oscar says, unable to smile anymore due to the pain in his cheeks.

 Lando laughs loudly, shamelessly “It’s the truth!” his hand plays with Oscar’s fingers “I saw this scene in a movie”

“Why am I not really surprised?”

 They talk, eat, laugh and feel fulfilled. In addition to the desire to have Oscar in his bed again, Lando feels the immense desire to comb Oscar's hair with his fingers, count how many moles he has and make those eyes crinkle when he smiles. But not just any smile, that open-mouth smile that shows his big teeth

 Oscar is very happy, very very happy. His eyes can't look at anything other than Lando, he got dirty a few times because he wasn't paying attention while eating. It's as if the other glows and he is mortally drawn to the light.

 They end the date at Oscar's apartment. He invites Lando to spend the night and he accepts. Like a good host, Oscar offers water and lends his slippers to make Lando more comfortable.

***

 Fernando couldn't shake the feeling that something horrible was going to happen.

 He arrived at the office like any other day, but there was a subtle change in the air.

 The day continued with the previous expectation, while nothing happened Fernando wanted to pull out his hair strand by strand.

 Oscar was visibly happy. As much as he wanted not to worry, Fernando looked at the boy's table more times than usual.

“As much as it's nice to see you smiling, it's starting to scare me,” he says.

 Oscar's smile only grows and he licks his lips.

 Fernando looks at him in a provocative way.

“Should I be worried? Seriously, you smiling in silence is scary.”

“I’m just happy” Oscar responds simplistically, but when he looks up and realizes that Fernando is interested in talking, he can’t resist keeping it to himself “Lando and I are officially dating”

 Before Fernando congratulates him, the other continues speaking.

“And my dad is coming to visit me today, he’s going to meet Lando.”

“That's amazing, Oscar! I'm proud of you” finally Lando made the right choice “I believe that from what you told me, your father will accept your relationship. Sure, Lando is a bit annoying, but there wouldn’t be a better son-in-law.”

 Oscar laughs, rolling his eyes “He already met Lando via video call, now it will be in person”

“And your father liked him?”

“He said if I’m happy that’s what matters. Lando is worried, he says my dad is intimidating.”

 Looking at Oscar's face, Fernando thinks, if his father looks like him there's no way he can be intimidating. But Lando is weird anyway.

“Everything will be fine, don’t worry” even if he can’t know that, Fernando guarantees.

 They went about their day normally, but that flea behind his ear continued to bother Fernando. He busied himself with working as hard as possible to forget. Near the end of the day, he separated some papers and put them in a blue folder, handing them to Oscar.

“To your delight, these documents need to be delivered to Lando’s sector” he raises both hands to his face and, in a totally immature way, simulates making his hands kiss “Don’t take too long to come back”

 Oscar laughs, picking up the folder “Don’t worry”

 From now on, some things happen very quickly and others very slowly.

 Oscar walks down the hallway, head down, reading the documents he needs to deliver. Coming towards him, Carlos walks with a steaming cup of coffee. Oscar isn't paying attention and Carlos isn't caring.

 It's a matter of one wrong step and the coffee cup wets Oscar's papers and his white shirt, just as Carlos' shoulder bumps into him.

"Fuck!" Oscar screams, panting, for several reasons: because of the fright, because of the ruined documents and because of his chest being wet with hot coffee.

 This attracts almost everyone's attention. Fernando turns in his seat, just in time to see Oscar's face contort as he tries to pull the fabric of his stained shirt away from his skin.

“Shit, man” Carlos says “You should pay more attention”

 A wave of fury overcomes Fernando. He looks with so much hatred at Carlos that he fears his face will be stuck in that expression forever. Before he can do anything, Oscar reacts.

“Classic, Carlos”

 There is a silent pause. Carlos' eyebrows furrowed, the empty cup forgotten in his hand.

"Sorry?"

 Oscar lifts his head and his expression is blank, not painful from the coffee burn or upset about his ruined work. Empty, which leaves it with an air of superiority.

“It's classic for you to act in such a way, you know? It's not the first time you've sabotaged a colleague because you couldn't deal with your insecurities.”

 Fernando is almost certain that Oscar is talking about Charles.

 Carlos opens his mouth to defend himself, but Oscar is still talking. He lifts his chin to face the other man properly.

“I didn't want to be you, it would be shameful to have to clean up this mess after wanting to fight with a 20-year-old boy. Some people are not as mature as they appear to be” and then, Oscar places the folder with the ruined documents against Carlos’ chest “And I certainly don’t want to be you when it comes to explaining to the boss what you did with it”

“Oscar!” Lando appears, running around the tables and running towards his boyfriend “Shit, your shirt. Did you get burned? Is it hurting? Come on, I can lend you one of my shirts.”

 He ignores Carlos, as if he wasn't even there, and grabs Oscar by the shoulders and moves them away. Fernando can see Lando murmuring some things in Oscar's ear, fanning his hand over the stain on his shirt to cool the heat that is no longer there.

 Carlos stands still, shocked and embarrassed.

 As he sees Oscar's silhouette disappear at the end of the corridor, Fernando feels proud of who that boy is.

***

 Later that same day, Fernando is lying comfortably on his sofa. His TV is showing a movie that he stopped caring about a long time ago and there are some dirty dishes in the sink that he pretends he will wash soon.

 He dedicates this hour of his night to using social media and finding out what other people did during the day.

 Lewis posted a photo at the gym. Sebastian posted a storie of the book he is currently reading, with a song playing that Fernando doesn't know. Fernando discovers that his friend Jenson is going to be a father again and quickly comments on a congratulatory message.

 Again he wonders what Mark must be doing.

 Tired of feeding the ugly feeling that grows within him, Fernando decides to put social media aside for today.

 He had just made that decision when a new photo appeared on his feed that Oscar had posted.

 Without thinking twice, Fernando placed his finger on the screen twice and liked the photo. Only then did he realize.

 Oscar was smiling without showing his teeth, wearing a cap from some team that Fernando didn't know. Beside him, with his arm around his shoulder, is a man who holds Oscar in a hug. The caption says:

'I missed you, dad 😁'

 Dad.

 Something that felt like panic stirred in his blood.

 His eyes didn't deceive him. Oscar really was Mark's son.

Chapter Text

 The unexpected always happens.

 When he was sure that he was helpless, Fernando sat still, more still than he had ever been in his life, and began to think about the best thing to do.

 He stared at that photo for long minutes, updating the image he had of Mark in his head. He has aged like wine and seems to have enjoyed keeping his beard. His smile is the same, very similar to that of the employee who worked in front of Fernando in the last few months.

 All this time it was Mark. Oscar's father, Mark. Mark was Oscar's father.

 Mark who likes to take his son surfing on vacation, who divorced his ex-wife years ago, who made an intimidating impression on his son's new boyfriend, who is so close to Fernando suddenly, the same Mark that loves chocolate and that broke Fernando's heart years ago.

 Same damn Mark.

***

 Fernando wants to know why Mark left, but maybe he never should.

 He was shocked yesterday and he is horrified today.

 Last night was a blur, he doesn't even remember sleeping or not.

 Fernando is standing, still, hesitant, outside the sector where he works, the same room where he shared stories of his life and created bonds, without knowing it, with the son of the man who was the cause of all the anguish.

 It was too late to run for help.

 Fernando allowed himself to breathe a few times to compose his emotions. Losing his emotional control before even seeing Oscar is not a good idea. If he let the boy see how scared he is, he would definitely worry and ask questions.

 He was only sure of one thing: he couldn't confront Oscar.

 This wasn't about him after all.

 In his usual place, Oscar was writing hurriedly on his keyboard, causing an annoying noise that Fernando was already used to. When Fernando got close enough, the boy raised his head and showed his usual strange smile.

“Good morning, Fernando” and then he wrote again.

 The man stared at Oscar for a few seconds, seeing him in a whole new light.

“Good morning, Oscar”

 For the first time in months, he hated his familiarity with Oscar.

 A dark cloud landed above his head, when he breathed it felt like his lungs were filling with toxic air. The same air irritated him, which made him irritated with everything around him.

 Indecision placed its claws on Fernando, confusing his common sense.

 He thought he was supposed to hate Oscar. If he had known that Oscar was Mark's son, he would have never given him advice, been petty, and been happy after Lando broke the younger boy's heart. He would be happier if he knew that Mark's son went through the same thing as him, just as miserable, and that this would serve as a kind of karma for everything Mark put him through.

 If he had discovered this information earlier, everything would be different. He wouldn't like Oscar, wouldn't get close to him and much less care about him. Maybe he would find a way to send him out of the office or he would resign himself, anything to keep himself away from another Webber who would cause him problems.

“You were a few minutes late, I thought you didn't have time to eat breakfast because of your rush” Oscar laughed, obviously noticing the older man's unshaven beard, as he approached Fernando's table without the man noticing “I went to buy those chocolate cupcakes. You always buy some, so I believe you like it” then he showed a cupcake as if showing a magic trick and left it on Fernando's table, in a kind gesture of providing something to fill his stomach. Afterwards, Oscar returned to his table normally, oblivious.

 Fernando looked at that cupcake, then looked at Oscar.

 He sees a bit of Mark in the boy, his Mark. The one who was kind and concerned, who thought about Fernando's well-being, who laughed at his lame jokes and who, whenever he thought it was necessary, shared a little chocolate to make Fernando feel better.

 When he bites into the cupcake and tastes the frosting, Fernando is sure that in no universe would he be able to hate Oscar. Not his Oscar.

 Fernando hides his face behind the monitor so the boy doesn't see his red eyes. Why did Oscar have to be Mark's son? How cruel does the universe have to be to do this to him?

 He fears for the day he loses Oscar too.

***

 Fernando cares more about Oscar than he feels anger towards Mark.

 He tried to casually ask about how Lando reacted to meeting his father-in-law in person.

“He asked several times what kind of dessert my father likes to bring for dinner” Oscar began saying, trying to hide his passionate smile “I said he was simple and would settle for anything, but Lando insisted. He wanted to make a good impression. When my father praised the pie and asked if he knew how to cook, Lando got nervous because he bought the pie before coming to my apartment, and ended up dropping the bottle of wine on the floor.”

“Wow” is a torture for Fernando to hear, he would have laughed if he didn’t know the identity of Oscar’s father. But his tone of voice is convincing, because Oscar continues telling the story, excitedly.

“Yes” he laughs “Lando wanted to die right there, because the bottle of wine was imported and my father brought it. But he was nice” Oscar organized some papers on his desk absently “Everything was perfect, my father enjoyed meeting Lando”

“That’s good” Fernando replies.

 Oscar looks up and looks at Fernando. The man can feel a bead of sweat run down his forehead as those familiar brown eyes stare at him. Unfortunately for him, the boy is wearing his neutral face, so Fernando isn't sure what he's looking for.

 Mark was always good at reading Fernando.

"Are you ok?" Oscar asks, frowning. “You look… sad.”

 Apparently, Oscar too.

“I didn’t sleep well last night” is not a lie “Maybe I need to sleep more when I get home” is not a lie either.

 Oscar remains silent for a few seconds before returning to work, looking at the monitor as if he's hurt that Fernando doesn't want to open up to him. Instead of looking at the man with those sad eyes, he looks at another email from the finance department.

“You can tell me if something is bothering you- I mean” he corrects himself “I know you must think I'm a kid and you've definitely dealt with a lot of my shit, always talking about Lando and my problems... I just want to say that, well, I can hear you too.”

“I don't like talking about myself” Fernando searches his brain for the quickest answer he can, capable of justifying everything he has omitted from Oscar before.

“I don’t like talking about myself either” Oscar says “But maybe… my dad always says we talk more when we feel safe with someone” his ears turn red and he fumbles to get up from his chair “What do I mean, well, uh... you can trust me too, or not, it's fine. Sorry. I'm going to get coffee, I'll bring yours right away” and then he disappeared down the corridor, walking quickly until he disappeared from Fernando's sight.

 Trust too.

 Oscar feels safe talking to Fernando.

 Of course, it's not just anyone that Oscar would talk so openly about his problems. When Fernando thinks that he barely heard Oscar's voice in the first few weeks, and that now he hears him speak every day, a wet feeling clouds his brain.

“Maybe he likes you,” Lewis once said.

 Shit, Fernando feels the weight of this feeling as if he were holding 30 bags of sand in his arms. Oscar trusting and liking him is something very valuable.

 Oh no. His eyes are getting wet again like he's a damn teenager.

***

 When Fernando is protected inside his home, he opens Instagram and clicks on Oscar's profile. He looks for the same photo that brought back old feelings (and even worse new ones) and checks to see if the boy had tagged Mark's profile.

 The answer is yes.

 He clicks, determined, leaving no room for his cowardice now.

 Mark's profile is nothing like he imagined.

 Apparently, Mark is a businessman who travels a lot for his work. In addition to the photos with businesspeople shaking hands and photos of Mark wearing a nice suit, there are more domestic photos. Mark with dogs, Mark on vacation, videos recorded of teams that Fernando doesn't know and, of course, photos with Oscar.

 Fernando looks at each one.

 He sees photos from when Oscar was younger. Oscar sitting on Mark's shoulders with his thumbs up, Oscar eating ice cream while smiling (with his chocolate-smeared face) at the camera, Oscar hugging Mark while holding a Father's Day card. There aren't that many photos to see, apparently Mark isn't very active on the internet, but there are enough for Fernando to see how Mark loves being a father.

 Subtitles are always a domestic thing.

'Game day with my best friend 💪'

'Best vacation ever! 🏖️'

'I said whoever won at Mario Kart would eat ice cream on the sofa while the loser washed the dishes. Guess who's watching SpongeBob in the living room... 🍦'

'Oscar didn't really like his new haircut, I think it's the rebellious phase coming hahaha 😰'

'Happy birthday, son. I love you. And no, my gray hair isn't because I'm old, it's just charm 🤫'

 And my god, Mark really looks hot with the gray hair.

 The first photo on Mark's profile is one where he holds a baby in his arms, wearing a green nurse's outfit. That Mark looks more like the one who lives in Fernando's memory.

 The caption says:

'Remembering the day my son, Oscar Jack Webber-Piastri, was born. My light, thank you'

 Fernando could have made so many jokes if he had discovered earlier that Oscar's middle name was Jack, but now his attention focuses on another observation.

 Oscar took his mother's surname. Of course, Piastri-Webber seems a bit strange, so the second alternative was the best. The question that is going through Fernando's head is that, after 20 years, he finally knows the surname of Mark's girlfriend (ex-girlfriend and ex-wife), finally being able to give an identity to the woman that Oscar rarely talks about.

 Mark left to marry Nicole Piastri and have a child with her.

***

 Sebastian always tells Fernando not to go to the bar when he's sad, so Fernando drove to Mama's. Later, when Fernando tells the consequences of his actions, he will use as an excuse that Sebastian advised Fernando not to go to the bar, he never said anything about Mama.

“Another one, please” he says to a young waiter who is serving him that night, pointing with a finger at his empty beer bottle on the table.

 The poor waiter will soon hate serving Fernando, he is a crying drunk.

 He doesn't know if he'll be able to look into Oscar's face tomorrow and pretend that he didn't know his father, that his father is not Fernando's first and only love. The young man will ask questions that Fernando doesn't want to answer.

 Obviously he knew that Mark didn't stop in time, as he saw it: he got married, had a son, a career and grew old. He moved on, whereas Fernando trapped himself 20 years ago. It's shameful to admit. Pathetic.

 Many 'what ifs' haunt Fernando's head. What if he had moved on, would his life be better? What if he had never met Oscar, what would have changed? What if he had gone after Mark, after the taller one turned his back, and grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him like a puppet, demanding to know what had suddenly changed, begging Mark to stay… Would Mark have stayed?

 The young waiter leaves another bottle on the table and leaves.

 Jeremy is nowhere to be seen, which is good, Fernando doesn't want to talk to anyone.

 Maybe he should accept Lewis' proposal and go work with him. Oscar doesn't need him anymore, he's already an experienced employee and, if you ask Fernando, even better than him. There's nothing keeping him in that office, no one would really miss him and he's not even passionate about his job. He can get a better salary.

 But if he leaves, he'll never see Oscar again.

 Perhaps his connection with the young man is because he is Mark's son. Something supernatural lured Fernando into the perfect trap. Even without knowing it, Fernando just enjoyed sharing his days with Oscar because something brought the familiarity of his days with Mark. Oscar is not Mark. If Fernando moves away from him, he won't miss him so much.

 It was fun while it lasted, boy. Goodbye.

 Fernando then remembers how Mark left without explanation, how he hated that. If he does the same to Oscar, he won't be hurting Mark, but Oscar.

 He never felt the need to put a photo of someone next to his computer, someone to remember, or an abstract drawing of a horse (but which the child says is a tree) to smile and know that there is a little being waiting for him in home.

 In all these years, Fernando has never been a father and now he feels the weight of regret.

 If he had been a father, he had been the father of another child, he wouldn't be hurting to think that Oscar was the closest thing he had to a son.

 Separating from him is… unacceptable.

 When did Fernando become so sentimental?

 The restaurant's front door opens and closes, signaling that a new customer has arrived. He is alone and walks slowly between the tables, looking around carefully, probably looking for an empty seat with a solitary table for at most two chairs. Away from the bathroom, please.

 Fernando saw the man's head come out from behind a pot with an absurdly large plant. He didn't see the face, but he recognized the man by the back of his head and the movements of his back and arms. It doesn't matter how, but he wouldn't be mistaken about the hands, which so often held his with affection.

 The man's body turned.

 Fernando's blood stops circulating in his veins when his eyes meet the man's alarmed gaze, a few meters away.

“Fernando” says the man, looking as scared as Fernando feels.

 It was with bitterness in his heart that he responded.

"Hi, Mark”

***

 It's time to tell the other side of the story.

 Almost 20 years ago, Mark met Fernando at college.

 When he wasn't busy with his part-time job or studying, he was at Fernando's apartment. They watched the same old movies and ate pizza. A boring routine, anyone would say, but it was perfect for any lazy college student.

 Fernando was funny, but he also made bad jokes. Mark laughed at anything that came out of the other man's mouth because it made Fernando's smile get even wider.

 Mark's parents liked Fernando immediately. When Mark brought him home and introduced him as his college friend, everyone treated him very well. His mother held his arm affectionately and pulled him to the kitchen to have a private conversation.

“You should bring him more often, I liked him” she said.

 Mark knew what she meant by that, but he preferred to ignore what was hidden between the lines and continued inviting Fernando to dinner with his family without any ulterior motives.

 Mark talked about Fernando to anyone who asked. Fernando is sarcastic, not mean. He refuses to accept that he has terrible taste in jokes and movies. He wears the clothes that Mark forgets (on purpose) in his apartment as if they were his own. Fernando speaks without thinking and this embarrasses people.

 Mark's mother thought that one day Mark would introduce Fernando as his boyfriend instead of his friend, after all, the family dog has already gotten used to him. But that never happened.

 Mark had problems with his confidence and liked to make people happy, so he cowardly never wanted to change the good relationship he already had with his friend.

 One night, when Fernando got drunk and fell off the table, breaking his wrist, and Mark had to anxiously drive to the nearest hospital, when he held Fernando's good hand and took a chocolate bar for Fernando from his emergency pocket, he was sure he had never loved anyone the way he loved Fernando.

 One day, when he woke up 12 minutes later and had to rush to class that morning, Mark met Nicole.

 Nicole was beautiful and calm, she had brown eyes that fascinated Mark. She was lost, it was her first day, and she asked him for help. Mark arrived another 20 minutes late because it took him a while to work up the courage to ask for her number.

 They went out a few times, and it was fun. Nicole was an only child and a bit spoiled, incredibly smart and funny when she threw out some random scathing comments.

 Mark asked her to be his girlfriend, she said yes. Fernando didn't act any differently after finding out, but he also didn't approach Mark's girlfriend.

 Nicole was a great person, Mark felt guilty a few times that he found himself thinking he would be having more fun if he was with Fernando at that moment. And the times Mark kissed Nicole and imagined someone else, he condemned himself as an even worse person.

 But he liked her, so it didn't make sense for him to keep thinking about Fernando. The feelings he had should go away.

 Nicole didn't like Fernando because she believed he changed Mark.

“You always come back different after going out with him” she said once, stroking his head which was resting on her chest.

 Mark wondered if that was really true. He felt different with Fernando, but it was a good thing. Nicole made it seem like it wasn't.

 One time Mark and Nicole got into a fight when Mark said the wrong thing. He made the mistake of defending Fernando and saying that Nicole was worrying about things that didn't make sense.

“He looks at you with those passionate eyes! I'm warning you because I love you, Mark. Your friend is not what you think”

 Maybe it was the time, after all, people had a lot of prejudices 20 years ago and Nicole came to realize that Fernando was different. She worried that he might influence Mark, since Mark always returned to her arms differently.

 Mark didn't like fighting with Nicole, so he left and went after something strong enough to make him forget. No beer seemed to be able to make him swallow that lump stuck in his throat, so, following that voice inside his head, Mark went to Fernando's apartment. Only he would make him feel better.

 It was that night that they kissed.

 Mark knew he loved Fernando in a different way, in a way he never loved anyone else. After that kiss, he was also sure that Fernando felt something, but he wasn't sure if it was the same intensity.

 They didn't talk about it, Mark went back to Nicole the next morning.

 But more kisses between them happened, and against all common sense, Mark didn't regret being an asshole to Nicole. He liked Nicole's small, delicate hands, but he loved Fernando's big hands. He liked her brown eyes, but he loved Fernando's green ones. Kissing Nicole was good, but kissing Fernando was sensational.

 He wanted to break up with her and be brave once in his life, however, things don't always go the way we want.

 It's true that he didn't know where, how or when the lightning would strike, but knew something was about to happen. Nicole has been strange the last few weeks, very needy and demanding attention from Mark. When he said things might not be the same from now on, Nicole left, strangely silent.

 But the next day she came back, but not alone.

“Do you think you can get my daughter pregnant and not take any responsibility?” Nicole's father said.

“Wait-”

“I demand that you be the man you intend to be” the older man grabbed Mark's arm angrily, he wasn't very tall but he was strong, and his angry face was enough to silence Mark “You graduated a few months ago and still works at that shitty place. I will give you a job, but I demand that you marry my daughter and be the father you should be to that child.”

 Mark couldn't face Nicole at that moment, everything seemed to happen so fast that he didn't believe it was real. Would he be a father? Is Nicole pregnant? Will he get married?

 All of Mark's dreams and life decisions, any control he had, were stolen from him in that moment.

 There's a house, Nicole's father said, in another town. It's big enough and there are rooms for kids, it's close to Mark's new job and he can have the perfect commercial life. A house, a pretty wife and a chubby baby to raise.

 When he was alone with Nicole for the first time, he paid attention to her. Nicole touched her hands a little below her belly, where a small bulge was present. She was calm, as if she was oblivious to all the chaos that would be from now on.

“How did you get pregnant, Nicole?” Mark asked, feeling very, very weak. He was lucky to be sitting down, if not, he would have definitely fallen to the ground by now “We always use protection”

 Nicole stopped, looked at him and spoke, smiling like an angel.

“Accidents happen, I think we forget once”

 To end that shitty day with a flourish, Mark drove to Fernando's apartment to say goodbye to him forever. One of the conditions for Nicole not to say anything, whatever she knew, was that Mark must keep his distance from Fernando.

“I’m so sorry, Nando. I can’t date a boy.”

 Mark left his heart behind, for Fernando to stay and do whatever he wanted with it.

***

 Mark felt a fever of excitement the day Oscar was born.

 He endured many things during these months. His mother was surprised by the sudden move and the wedding, when the Webber family found out about the baby, Mark's mother almost fell over. His family asked about Fernando when he obviously didn't give any more news. As best he could, Mark said they wouldn't see each other again.

 Nicole liked to pretend that everything was perfect, she had everything she ever wanted: a house, a husband and a baby. She cried with joy when she found out she was pregnant with a boy, while Mark didn't know exactly what he felt.

 They talked about names. Nicole, always determined. Mark, always wanting to please. He let her surname prevail, which made his father-in-law happy.

“I like Oscar” she said once, crossing names off the list “And you?”

 Mark was in the kitchen preparing dinner, listening to his wife say out loud names that she thought were good.

“Me too” and it was true, it seemed like a good name.

 Nicole murmured happily, circling the name on the paper.

“We need a middle name, only Oscar Webber-Piastri seems empty”

 Mark dared to say “Can I make a suggestion?”

“Of course” she replied nonchalantly.

 He swallowed hard, missing a glass of water nearby. “It doesn't really sounds good, but what do you think of Nando?”

 Nicole is silent.

“Oscar Nando?” she repeats, testing the name “It’s not pretty”

“It could be a nickname we call him”

 She thinks a little more, still silent.

 Mark walks over to where she is, setting the table for dinner. He manages to read over her shoulder, writing Oscar Nando Webber-Piastri.

“Maybe” she finally concludes.

 Mark feels a little victorious.

 All the effort over the past 9 months seems to be worth it when Mark holds Oscar in his arms for the first time.

 It is so small and sensitive that Mark believes he can break it just by breathing too close. Oscar has an iron lung from how hard he screams and cries.

 Of all the dreams Nicole took from him, only one was she able to grant: Mark's chance to be a father. He considers it his main profession and loves it with all passion.

 Nicole's parents arrive at the hospital first to meet Oscar, and when they ask for the baby's name, Nicole responds.

“Oscar Jack Webber-Piastri”

 Mark wakes up from the trance of staring at his son in his father-in-law's arms to look, a little irritated, at his wife.

“I thought-” “My name!” Mark and Nicole's father say at the same time. The second is genuinely happy with the news, while the first, not so much.

“I thought we could honor my dad” Nicole says innocently, looking too pretty after a 7 hour labor “The next baby could be named after your dad”

“Yes” Jack, Nicole’s father, celebrates “This is going to be great”

 There will be no other babies, Mark guarantees.

 From now on he will live only and exclusively for his only light at the moment, his son, Oscar.

 After everyone leaves and Mark is able to hold his son again, he admires the little button nose that slips out of the soft blanket. He doesn't first notice Nicole taking a photo of them.

“I love you more than anything” he whispers, watching the air of your breath push against the tiny eyelashes of that being that is a part of him “And I will try my best”

***

 Mark dedicates most of his days to the Oscars. His work and travel are the only things that separate them, but when Mark returns, he loves the feeling he gets when his son runs across the lawn and jumps into his arms.

"Daddy!" he screams in Mark's ear, and it's the best feeling ever.

"Hey buddy!" he squeezes Oscar back into the hug “I missed you so, so, so, so much!”

 Oscar breaks away from the hug and opens his arms in the air as wide as he can. “And I missed you this very, very, very much!”

 Mark and Nicole make it work for Oscar because he's the only thing that connects them.

 Mark tells stories about his travels and brings Oscar various gifts. Whenever he comes back, he tells us about Oscar's favorite character from his stories.

“You and Nando went to Japan!? But that’s…” 5-year-old Oscar reasons “Too far!”

“We went, this is our job” Mark invented a character to entertain Oscar from his boring work stories. Any resemblance to someone is not a mere coincidence “We know Godzilla”

 Oscar's brown eyes widened.

"Serious? Did you fight him, daddy?”

"Me? No! But Nando yes, he is very brave. Or idiot”

 Oscar laughs “Nando is the best! When can I meet him, daddy?”

 Mark strokes his son's hair affectionately "When you became as big as Godzilla, but you need to eat broccoli for that"

“Eww!” Oscar grimaces, automatically put off by the idea “Does Nando eat a lot of broccoli?”

 Mark laughs remembering Fernando's height.

“Only if it’s on a pizza”

 The years pass and Oscar matures, Mark and Nicole strive to do the right thing, but some things come to an end.

 Mark signed the divorce papers more happily than he should have shown, confusing the lawyer. Everything he did was for Oscar and exclusively for Oscar, he would avoid anyone who stood in the way of his son's happiness. When Nicole got angry about Oscar saying she liked a boy and blaming Mark on top of that, he didn't hesitate to call his lawyer the next morning.

 Divorcing Nicole was experiencing freedom after many years. Even so, he couldn't go after Fernando after so many wasted years.

 He continued as best he could. Oscar graduated and started working in an office, he always updated Mark at night when he arrived at his new apartment, which he proudly managed to rent. Mark was eager to meet and also return to the city where he has so many memories. As soon as he returned from his trip, this would be possible.

 He was also excited to meet his son's new boyfriend, Lando. He is a funny and curious young man, he tried his best to make a positive impression. He did it, congratulations.

 Now that he's back in the city, Mark couldn't miss the opportunity to return to the restaurant that was the setting for many stories. He went alone, wanting to explore and discover what had changed. Maybe he could bring Oscar someday and tell more stories.

 When he entered, he noticed that the place was still as similar as he remembered. As he was alone, he calmly walked between the tables to find a lone table with at most 2 chairs. His head spun and he felt like he was being watched, what he didn't expect was to see a ghost from his past.

“Fernando” he says, panting.

 The man doesn't seem very excited.

“Hi, Mark”

Chapter Text

 Fernando is very lucky that he isn't prone to fainting, otherwise he would have already hit his head on the table by the time Mark spoke his name.

 The two stare at each other in silence, not knowing what to say next. Each is dealing with opposing and conflicting emotions. But the 'almost' that exists between them haunts equally.

 For all these years, Fernando created different scenarios of what he would do when (if) he saw Mark again. In most of them, the two fought, Fernando shouted at Mark and took out all his pain with harsh words. In others, Fernando would jump into Mark's arms to feel that he is real and cry, rambling against the other man's chest how much he missed him.

 Now that he's a victim of fate, playing with him as if playing with a pawn in a game of chess, he's not sure how to react. At the same time as he wants to punch Mark's handsome face, he wants to kiss him and tend to his injuries.

 Mark is the first to break the silence.

“I didn’t know you were still here”

 Maybe if he had met Mark in line at a supermarket, he wouldn't have felt half of what he feels now. But of course, it needed to be in their restaurant.

“And I didn’t know you were alive.”

 Mark shivered, visibly uncomfortable, not knowing how to continue after starting the dialogue. One voice tells him to run, another tells him to stay.

 Fernando hates how Mark hesitates, how he stands there like a stranger and starts to attract attention. Mark is too tall to go unnoticed in the middle of a restaurant. The same waiter who served Fernando earlier approaches and asks where Mark would like to sit.

“With me” Fernando replies, surprising the other man and himself.

“I'll bring a menu” the waiter says, but Mark dismisses the offer and orders a glass of water with ice for now. He needs a cool drink to swallow that old lump growing in his throat.

 When Mark sits down, Fernando changes his posture and leans his back against the back of the chair, retreating from any proximity. Mark rests his hands on the table and looks away, thinking.

“So,” Fernando says, his voice is hoarse and bitter. He soon needs to eat something if he doesn't want to get drunk too quickly, which is about to happen. “What brought you here?”

“You don’t want to have a small talk with me, Fernando” Mark says, still keeping his gaze away “It’s been many years-”

“You don’t know me anymore” Fernando interrupts “Many things change in 20 years. People change addresses, jobs…” he pauses “Have children”

 Mark sighs.

“I can give you an explanation if you want”

“You can’t even look at my face!” Fernando exclaims.

 When Mark turns his head, he sees how tired the other man looks. His unshaven beard, disheveled hair and red eyes give the wrong impression of the Fernando that Mark remembers. His Fernando smiles, he doesn't have a frown on his face when he looks at him. This makes Mark feel bad.

“I had my reasons” Fernando scoffs, and this has started to irritate Mark too “I did what I thought I should do” he insists.

“You played with me, Mark.”

“I loved you, Fernando”

 There is silence again.

 The waiter arrives with the glass of water and moves away from that tension.

“You left” Fernando points out again.

"I needed"

“Of course, to have the perfect life you always wanted, right? Or the perfect life your girlfriend wanted, after all, you always let her control you.”

 Fernando is being cruel on purpose. He wants to get some reaction from Mark, he wants him to scream and get up, throw a drink at him and leave like a dramatic scene from a Mexican soap opera.

 But Mark isn't like that, Fernando knows.

 Only Mark was able to see through Fernando and understand that even when they fought, Fernando wasn't serious when he was cruel.

“Yes” Mark nods “I allowed that to happen”

“I will not feel sorry for you”

“I hope not” Mark takes a deep breath, picking up his glass of water for the first time and taking a long drink. He takes advantage of the seconds that Fernando waits to organize what he has to say “I just want you to know that I prioritized what I thought wasn't so terrible”

“You chose her”

“I chose my son”

 Mark is trained in arguing with Fernando, he knows how to trigger responses that leave the other man wondering what he can respond to next.

“Nando, I…” the nickname slips out without his consent “Please, let me explain what happened. Don't argue with me, just listen. Then I'll answer any questions you have and disappear from your life, forever, if that's the case. But please, I beg you, let me explain.”

 Mark looked at him pleadingly, and at the same time showed such courage and determination that Fernando found himself giving in.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

 And then Mark begins.

 Mark opened a large drawer that had been locked for all these years and told Fernando everything. He emphasized that he loved Fernando and wanted him, but Nicole's pregnancy was his biggest hurdle to cross.

“If I broke up with her, I would never meet the baby. Knowing that I had a son I didn't know would haunt me for the rest of my life. I was also afraid that she would do something against you, because she was already suspicious about us.”

 He shares his thoughts from that time and how Oscar was the only comfort he had in those years when he felt trapped in a life he didn't want. He told stories about 'Nando' to keep the memory alive and share some of his past with his son.

“I tried to give him your name,” Mark says, smiling sadly.

 Fernando's eyes widened and he corrected his posture, leaning towards Mark.

“That was brave, that bitch hated me”

 Mark laughed some more.

“I wanted to at least try. To have something of you with me, since I have nothing left.”

 Regarding Fernando's biggest nightmare, Mark says he regrets not choosing him, but he doesn't regret choosing Oscar.

“So…” Fernando says, slowly so that the words are well absorbed and understood by the other “You never chose her?”

 Mark shakes his head hard, as if the idea of choosing Nicole was so terrifying that he needed to get it out of his mind.

“She was never an option”

 Fernando processes the response. He doesn't care if people see two old men crying while talking about feelings. They have a story and the time has finally come to fill in the gaps.

“I would have chosen Oscar too” Fernando admits, and it’s true. If the night ends with him and Mark hating each other for the rest of their lives, Fernando would still try to keep in touch with the boy. Screw Mark, Oscar has nothing to do with this.

 20 years ago, Mark left his first love behind when it meant he could have his son. Now, 20 years later, Fernando would give up Mark if it meant he could continue to see Oscar smile when Fernando buys him a cupcake.

 The intensity of first love is never forgotten, even if it is remembered with pain or not. You can replace a love, but not a son.

 Fernando became too attached to Oscar to easily accept giving up on him.

 He understands now. Mark felt afraid of losing his son before he could even have him.

“You would like to meet him. Oscar is a fantastic boy” Mark says, his proud father smile suits him perfectly. Fernando feels bad thinking about some universe where Mark didn't have his precious boy.

“I, well, maybe I do,” he admits.

 Mark laughs, not quite believing it.

 Fernando nods confidently, “It's serious” and to prove his point, he looks for his cell phone in his pocket and looks for Oscar's Instagram, showing that he follows the boy and liked some photos.

 Mark gets a weird look on his face, but not in a bad mood. Just… confused.

“Do you follow my son on Instagram?”

 Fernando nods “Yes. It took me a while to find out who his username was, Lewis even said that I should stop chasing the boy.”

 Mark’s frown intensifies: “Were you chasing Oscar?”

“I work with him” he explains, but it's too late when Fernando realizes he explained everything wrongly “Wait, no, it's the opposite. I started working with him and I was trying to find his Instagram.”

“Why did you want to find out his Instagram?”

"Do not look at me like that! You know I’m not a pervert!”

“You said a lot of things change in 20 years!”

“I haven’t become a pervert in 20 years!”

 People start to stare at their table with confused expressions, in a few minutes they went from a sentimental moment to Fernando desperately trying to explain himself to Mark.

“Look, it’s a long story. There was something weird about Oscar, no offense, and I wanted to know if I knew him from somewhere, because he seemed familiar to me. Young people use Instagram all the time, so I wanted to check out his Instagram to see if I’d seen anything that-”

"Fernando"

“I swear to god I never found Oscar attractive. Not that he’s ugly!-”

"Nando"

“Mark, come on, you know I would never-”

"Nando!" Mark leans his body forward and holds Fernando's shoulders. The second man freezes, unsure whether to focus on Mark's hands on him or the green eyes in front of him.

"...What?" Fernando asks.

 Mark laughs. A real laugh. His eyes crinkle and his smile grows as his shoulders shake. As Fernando is being held by one pair of hands, he also shakes a little while the other laughs, staring in confusion.

“You… you’re still the same” Mark says, with a nostalgic tone in his voice “I know you’re not a pervert, I was just messing with you”

 Fernando takes Mark’s hands away from him, annoyed “That wasn’t funny, I was genuinely worried that you thought I was being weird”

“You make jokes with others all the time” Mark makes a mental note to ask about Fernando's work later.

“Yes, but it’s not funny when it’s me.”

 For the first time there is no tension as they are silent. Fernando admires how much Mark's face has changed, the gray hair and expression lines, still being Mark himself. And Mark does the same, noticing that Fernando stopped growing his hair and kept his beard, different but still handsome.

 Oh, how they missed each other.

“You are not longer married” is not a question.

 Mark smiles, showing his hand without a ring “No”

“That's good, I didn't want any crazy person to show up here. Can I buy you a drink or do you have someone waiting for you at home?” Fernando flirts playfully, testing the waters.

“Uh, well, I have a son, but he’s old enough to fend for himself.” Mark plays back.

 Fernando whistles “Wow, you sure look like a DILF.”

"A what?" Mark asks confused.

 Fernando laughs loudly and raises his hand, signaling to the same waiter from before that he wanted more beer and something to eat.

“Don’t worry, handsome. You’re still my type”

***

 It's easy to feel like a college student again. When he and Mark, after finding safe ground to talk, share memories over beer, everything seems lighter.

 Fernando feels young again, filled with a delicious nostalgia that allows him to laugh louder. Unsurprisingly, he got drunk first.

 And Mark is there, drinking and laughing with him just like old times. It seems like time has stopped and they have never changed, Fernando imagines that it can harm him later, but he can't help but drink in more of this illusion. Mark never left and nothing changed.

 Mark asks about Fernando, what he's done in recent years, if he's dated anyone else. If what Mark says is true, Fernando knows he hasn't dated anyone else after Nicole. By the way those lips press together when he asks, Fernando also concludes that the other man is uncomfortable with possible confirmation.

“I can't lie that I've stayed pure for 20 years, Mark,” he says, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“No, I know” Mark hurries to respond, fumbling a little with his words. This behavior reminds Fernando that Oscar does the same thing when he gets a little nervous. “It makes total sense, actually.”

 Mark wants to ask something, he opens his mouth and closes it a few times before finally saying.

“But, are you thinking about someone? Because, well, I know I haven't had a good experience before. But I would be happy if you let me prove that I'm better.”

 Mark is the type of person who knows about many things, his intelligence has always fascinated Fernando. He has always used this to his advantage to show how he loves people. If something was broken, he fixed it. If Fernando wanted to know a different analogy to use in his college work (which needs to be delivered in 3 hours), Mark knew (and Fernando got a high grade thanks to that). If they were going on a trip, Mark knew where there were gas stations and hotels to spend the night, and he never took a wrong turn.

 These little things make Mark seem smarter, like he manages to always be helpful. He was never good with words, showing that most vulnerable part of him.

 He, as much as Fernando hated to admit it, was right most of the time. But there was something about Mark that was the main trigger to make Fernando fall in love with him.

 Mark hated being vulnerable, but he admitted it when he didn't watch a movie or read a book. He admitted when he couldn't fix something, didn't know a clever analogy or didn't know how to get to such a place. This was his most frank way of showing himself to be vulnerable.

 Now, sitting in front of you, Mark is brave in admitting he wasn't the best before and is confident in saying he will do different now.

 Things with Mark were always simpler, Fernando gradually abandoned his hesitation when he remembered that Mark never lied to him.

 Yes, he ran away (and it wasn't because he wanted to).

 He said he couldn't date a boy, yes (and it wasn't entirely his fault, again).

 But he never said he didn't love Fernando. Or that he stopped loving.

 Instead of responding appropriately with a 'yes' or 'no', Fernando responds with:

“Do you want to come and see my new house?”

***

 Fernando feels 22 years old again when he enters his house, stumbling along the way, while holding Mark's face against his own.

 They try not to rush, they try to take it easy and enjoy the small sensations. But it's been so many years that they both feel touch-starved.

“Beautiful decoration” Mark says jokingly, barely opening his eyes to see what pictures decorate the wall or what color the sofa is, following Fernando like a dog being pulled by a leash.

 Fernando laughs between the kiss “Wait until you see the room”

 They only stop kissing when they are on the bed and are taking off their shirts. Fernando stops, studying how the other man's body has changed over the years. When he looks at his jaw, his mouth waters.

“Nando” Mark grumbles and wakes Fernando from his trance, touching his body and impatiently taking off his clothes. Fernando lifts his hips to help take off his pants and then starts to undo Mark's belt.

“I want to swallow you whole” he says.

 Mark lets out a breathy laugh, running his hand through Fernando's short hair. His eyes light up when he realizes there's still hair to pull out.

“You always say things without thinking”

“I don’t like to think before I speak, I like to be as surprised as you are” so he leans in so his height compares to Mark’s. His smile can be described as devilish “You know I have a dirty mouth”

“Fuck, I missed you so much” soon they kiss again.

***

 Fernando slept late and woke up when his sleep ended.

 He thanked god the curtains were closed, his head felt like it would explode any second.

 Groaning and burying his head deeper into the pillow, he waits for his thoughts to make some sense.

 He was sad and went out drinking, Sebastian would hate to find out, and then came home with a tall, hot brunette.

 Fernando just prays that he's with the right tall, hot brunette.

 An approach behind him makes him realize that Mark is also waking up. He rubs his face against the back of Fernando's neck and breathes deeply, hugging him. His beard scratches Fernando's neck and he loves the feeling.

“Good morning” Mark greeted him affectionately, trailing kisses down his neck. His voice is hoarse from lack of use and when he moves, oh, Fernando remembers that they are both naked.

 If his head didn't hurt so much he would fuck Mark again.

“Good morning” Fernando replies “My head is killing me”

 Mark laughs, still pressed against his back.

“I’m fine, do you want me to get something for you?”

 Fernando nods, not feeling like he can say much “There are some pills in the kitchen. Shit, you’re older, how you’re not dying too?”

"What do you mean?" Mark responds jokingly, giving him one last kiss on the neck before getting up from the bed. Fernando misses body heat. When he looks in the direction Mark left, he notices the man walking in just his underwear with his beautiful back disappearing through the door.

 Everything went so well that it doesn't seem real. It's bad to be the kind of person who always waits for the other shoe to drop.

 Fernando waits, listening to Mark walk around his kitchen and explore the cabinets. When he returns, he has with him a pack of pills in one hand and in the other hand he holds a cup of coffee.

“Thank you” Fernando sits on the bed, accepting the fresh coffee. He takes a sip and delights in the bitter taste.

“No problem” Mark separates two pills and puts them in the palm of the other man's hand, which he then swallows with coffee. He sits next to Fernando's feet and caresses his knee over the blanket.

 The closeness, the care, it’s all very familiar.

 Mark's eyes are downcast, avoiding eye contact, but his hand is steady as he holds Fernando's knee.

"What are you thinking?" Fernando asks, putting the cup aside and looking for a piece of clothing that can bring him a bit of dignity.

 Mark gets up and looks for a shirt and underwear on the floor for Fernando, who accepts without hesitation. Only when he puts on the shirt does he realize it belongs to Mark. The other man doesn't seem to notice or care, sitting back down.

“I…” he sighs “I liked last night”

 Fernando smiles “Me too. I mean, my head hurts and I missed work, it's going to have some consequences, but I enjoyed yesterday's adventure. It made me feel like I was 20 again” he tries to make a joke when he feels the mood change between them.

“Yes, so... I don't want it to be just a adventure” Mark's eyes look Fernando up and down, as if he wanted to assess whether what he was going to say was too provocative “If you no longer feel anything for me, that's fine, but I can't keep it casual. I came back this time to stay, I need to make sure we both want the same thing. I need to know if you want me- it's pathetic to admit, shameful for someone like me, and I know it'll take a while for you to forgive me after so many years, I-” he takes a deep breath “I've really changed, Nando. I can do better”

“No, Mark. You haven’t changed”

 Mark lowers his head and closes his eyes, swallowing the rejection he knew was a possibility of receiving. A pair of hands cup his face and lift him up, bringing him closer. He feels Fernando's breath hit his closed eyes and smells the freshness of coffee.

“Mark” Fernando’s voice is pleading, his fingers outline the other man’s face as if holding a rare and valuable jewel “You are right about many things, but about this you are wrong. You haven’t changed, you’re still the same old Mark” a pause “My Mark”

 Fernando's eyes are Mark's favorite part, he has always loved the contour of his eyebrows and how the eyelashes embellish his green irises. When he opens his eyes and sees just that, he feels like everything is going to be okay.

 Fernando continues speaking in the face of silence: “I fell in love with Mark 20 years ago, and he was the one I thought about all these years. I missed him so much. Your hair is gray, you have a son and you work a much better job, but you… you are still him.”

"Nando-"

"Shut up. I have kept this inside me for many years and I need you to hear me. You broke my heart, Mark, and I have never been able to forget that feeling because you were the only owner of my love. But you came back and I can't think anything other than that you're still my Mark, the one I always loved” he kisses those lips that made him feel so much like number 1 in the world “I forgive you”

 All he ever wanted was to have Mark and here he is, willing, giving his heart to Fernando to hold. The world is giving them a second chance to do right this time, opportunities like this can't be found anywhere.

 A sob escapes from inside Mark, he leans in to continue kissing Fernando, between the kisses he says “I love you, I love you. I’ve only ever loved you, I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you” a kiss “I love you”

"I will stay. Forever"

 They press their foreheads together, enjoying the feeling of relief bubbling inside them. Fernando feels very happy.

“If you break my heart again, I will kidnap Oscar.”

 Mark laughs, but when he leans in to kiss Fernando again, the other man pulls back and gives him his best judgmental look that he learned from his favorite co-worker.

"I am serious"

***

 The two take advantage of that day to make up for lost time, with lots of kisses, hugs and caresses. And other things.

 They behave like a couple of teenagers just in love, unable to keep their hands off each other and smiling all the time.

 When they're snuggled up on the sofa watching a movie (which Fernando picked), Mark's phone lights up with a new notification.

“Oh, I forgot to tell Oscar,” he says, quickly typing a reply to his son. Fernando tilts his head to read what they are talking about.

[Oscar]: Hi dad, how are you? I didn't see you this morning and until now you haven't sent me a message

[Oscar]: Do I need to call the police? Have you been kidnapped?

[Mark]: Hi Osc! It's okay, I wasn't kidnapped

[Oscar]: That's what a kidnapper would say...

[Mark]: Deposit 1k if you want me to go into detail…

[Mark]: 🤣

[Mark]: I'll explain at night, don't worry. I love you ❤️

[Oscar]: Ok… I love you too ❤️

"You are very cute. Ew” Fernando pretends to be disgusted by the exchange of messages.

 Mark laughs “You’ll get used to it”

“I’ve never seen anyone communicate with emojis like you, it’s a bit…” Fernando thinks “Cute”

"Cute?"

“Yeah, like, you're every sugar daddy businessman, but you write in a cute way. It's interesting for his character” he explains.

“Why do you keep calling me those things?” he asks, laughing.

 Fernando sighed dramatically, placing a strand of Mark's hair behind his ear "I need to teach you so many things..." an idea appears in his head "Oscar must be wondering about me, after all, I didn't tell him I was going to miss work today"

 The information reminds Mark of that detail: “Yeah! You and Oscar work together.”

“Yes, Lando is there too. I need to control the lovebirds in love. There is Carlos, but he is not a problem anymore”

 Mark furrows his eyebrows “Who is Carlos?”

“Ah, you must know, he bothered Oscar for weeks, he even threw hot coffee on him once” despite hating this whole story, Fernando tells it in a relaxed way, but when Mark's face hardens, he realizes he said too much “Oh, you don't know”

“He did what?!” Mark started to get up, as if he were going to fight Carlos at that moment.

“Calm down, daddy bear, your baby is safe” he holds Mark's shoulders and makes him sit like before “Oscar is big enough to take care of himself, he put Carlos in his place. You would be proud, I was”

 This calms his nerves a little, but Mark is still upset that Oscar didn't tell him he was being harassed at work. “Why did this happen?”

“It’s a long story, but!” Fernando changes the subject, smiling like the devil “What I wanted to do now was send a message to Oscar, explain that I'm fine, whatever”

“Ok?”

“Yes, but I don’t have his number. We’ll send it to your cell phone!”

 Mark’s eyes widen and then narrow in suspicion. “What exactly do you want to do, Nando?”

 It's useless to pretend to be innocent when Fernando is talking to someone who knows him so well “Let's send a photo together, give him a little heart attack”

“Wait, are you sure? I've never introduced any boyfriend to Oscar, and he knows you, I thought about doing it in a more formal way-”

"I'm your boyfriend?"

 Fernando and Mark stare at each other in silence for a few seconds.

"Yes? I mean, only if you want to-” Fernando shuts him up by kissing his lips fervently.

“We can have an announcement dinner and an apology dinner for Oscar later, I just want to play with him a little” Fernando explains “It will be an innocent photo, just the two of us together. Nothing serious”

 Something in Mark's nature makes Fernando feel safe knowing they can do this together. Not only will he, Oscar's coworker and mentor, come out to him, but also Mark, Oscar's father, will come out to his son with another man.

 They will need to explain themselves when they unload all the baggage they are carrying, but Fernando trusts that Oscar will understand. He will be shocked at first, he may need time to process everything, but he will understand.

 Fernando finally feels safe to open up to Oscar. It's like taking off a bandage.

 Mark sighed, opening his cell phone camera “Okay…”

 But Fernando is a masochist who starts by slowly removing the edges.

 They take a photo together, completely normal. Nothing to suspect if you don't imagine it being strange for these two people to be together.

[Mark]: [photo] Fernando said hi, we'll explain later!

“It’s done” Fernando says, satisfied.

 Mark scratches his head “Yeah, it’ll be a few hours before he responds-”

 The phone glows, showing a new notification.

[Oscar]: What?!

“I think he's ready to find out” Fernando says, having fun imagining the calm Oscar pulling his hair and trying to maintain his posture at work after that photo “Maybe we can have our first dinner tonight”

***

 No one can understand the anticipation that Fernando felt on the way to Oscar's apartment.

 They showered before leaving and, unfortunately, Mark had to wear the same clothes as the day before. Fernando bit his lip, not paying attention to the music playing on the radio or the cityscape outside the car. Mark rambled on about how they could do this, whether they should cook dinner or order something, looking for the best way to make the environment pleasant for his son.

 But Fernando's imagination was occupied with scenes of possible reactions that Oscar would have. He feels nervous but happy, so he deludes himself with most scenarios where Oscar is happy for them and doesn't ask as many questions. But he will ask questions and Fernando understands that the boy deserves answers.

 Mark has an extra key, so they can get into the apartment. Fernando walks around the place, studying the environment for the first time. He notes that Oscar bought an air conditioner, and laughs.

"What?" Mark appears behind him, smelling his freshly washed, shampoo-scented hair.

“Nothing” Fernando turns around, running his hand over Mark’s chest “You should take advantage of the fact that he’s not home from work yet and go change your clothes”

 The older man grimaces when he remembers wearing dirty clothes. He kisses Fernando on the lips one last time before disappearing down the hallway “I won’t be long”

 And then, he goes back to exploring.

 The apartment is not very big in itself, but the kitchen has enough space for a table with 4 chairs and that in itself is attractive. There are dishes washed early in the morning, by Oscar, on the sink and two pots of cactuses on the window. There is a 2-seater sofa in the living room and an armchair, with a TV hanging on the wall.

 Following the hallway, where Fernando believes the bedrooms and bathroom are, he sees some photos on the wall. He stops and looks.

 Mark and Oscar, on the beach. Oscar and Nicole, in some restaurant. A photo of Oscar with dogs. Oscar and Lando. Oscar and... there's a post it covering the person's face- oh, and Logan. Fernando thinks it was Lando who put that there.

 He returns to the living room, not wanting to go any further into Oscar's private quarters. Mark is taking a long time to return, contrary to what he promised.

 There are coats hanging near the front door, which Fernando glances over his shoulder every now and then, expecting Oscar to return at any second. He thinks about giving up snooping around and sitting down, but something among the coats catches his attention.

 In the pocket of one of them there is a pair of gloves that Fernando knows very well, after all, he himself gave them to Oscar once. Not that he missed them, just... seeing that the boy kept them makes his heart skip a beat, which is extremely dangerous considering Fernando's age.

“I’m back” Mark reappears, this time wearing clean clothes.

 Fernando puts the gloves where he found them and walks towards the other man “You took your time, I didn’t think it would be so difficult to choose an outfit”

“Well, the clothes weren't the problem” he says, his tone teasing “But someone decided to punish my neck last night and I was covering it up”

 Fernando furrows his eyebrows, feigning innocence “Oh, no. It would be a shame if Oscar found out that his father has sex.”

“Don't say things like that in front of him, it embarrasses him” Mark laughs, removing the other's treacherous hand that was trying to touch his neck closely.

"I know"

"What?"

"What?" Fernando repeats.

 Suddenly, the sound of keys in the door catches their attention. Mark holds his breath without realizing it and squeezes Fernando's hand with his.

 When the door handle turns and it opens, reality hits Fernando like a bolt of lightning.

 He will tell Oscar that he is dating his father.

***

 When Oscar entered his apartment, he took a look around and quickly discovered where they were. Fernando didn't understand what feelings were overwhelming him, for a second he feared the worst, but soon a touching look of affection appeared on his young face.

“Dad” he greeted Mark, as he hung up his coat with the others, then looked at Fernando, his face written with more confusion “What’s going on?”

“Let’s sit down first, it’s a…very long story” Mark says.

 The three sit down, Fernando and Oscar on the sofa and Mark in the armchair. Fernando's first reaction was not to want to sit near the boy, but when the boy didn't seem to be disgusted by being close to him, Fernando stayed.

 Fernando says and does things without thinking. His first instinct when the opportunity arose was to play a joke on Oscar and then reveal everything he hid, which is crazy and he should have planned better.

 Mark wanted to take it easy, but he also followed Fernando. However, stopping to reflect on the explanation they were going to give, he knew very well that if he discovered such a fact about his co-worker and his father, his relationship with those people would change. Also, Oscar and him are 'friends', but dating his friend's father totally changes the situation.

 He considers his relationship with Oscar safe enough to tell that side of him, in his most raw and truthful way. He hasn't been 100% honest before, but he believes the younger man will understand because, well, Oscar has a good heart. And he's Mark's son, if that's any better explanation.

“It's a lot, there are two sides of the same story that you need to know. But do not worry!" Mark is quick to clarify when his son's eyebrows furrow. “You can ask questions and interrupt us if something isn't explained clearly, but I ask, please buddy, that you understand that none of this is your fault.”

 Even though he had no idea what was coming, Oscar calms down after that speech. He has no reason to doubt his father.

"Fine"

 And then they start to explain.

 Mark evidently left out parts of the story where he felt completely unhappy with Nicole. Like it or not, she was still Oscar's mother, and the boy loves her and she loves him back (in her own way). Perhaps, if one day she finds out that Mark and Fernando are together, she will have the maturity to leave any grudges behind and will continue to provide peace for her ex-husband. If Nicole could, she would have done everything differently, but unfortunately, or fortunately, we cannot change the people around us.

 Fernando also skips some parts where he had very bad thoughts about Oscar's father, but explains in the most frank way he can what it was like to deal with such uncertainty over the last 20 years. Mark listens carefully, controlling himself not to hold Fernando's hand with his and apologize again. The look Fernando gives him says enough, Mark doesn't need to apologize right now.

 As the story continued, Oscar's face changed. Surprise, affection, shame, sadness, relief manifested.

 There was a moment when Oscar looked at Fernando and the man was sure the boy was going to cry, so he raised his hand to comb his hair but hesitated. Finally, he patted his shoulder instead of his head, trying his best to convey that everything was okay.

 When they were finished, the boy struggled to say a few words.

“It’s… a lot” he stares at his lap “It’s difficult to absorb everything so quickly”

“You don't need to take it all in right now” Mark consoles, then his green eyes widen slightly “Oh, damn, you couldn't even drink water, shower or change your clothes. We just lock you in here and dump you all this information. You didn’t eat anything either, did you?” He says everything hurriedly, a little anxiously.

“Uh, no-”

“I can cook something, or we can order something” he starts to ramble again, getting up from the armchair to look for his cell phone and find the number of a nearby restaurant.

“Mark” Fernando, noticing his boyfriend’s restlessness, tries to get his attention “You don’t need to think about that now-”

“It’s okay, Nando. It’s just that Oscar is tired, damn it, we should have waited before attacking like that.”

 The difference between Mark and Fernando when their emotions become intense is that Fernando keeps everything inside himself and Mark is as transparent as water. He's worrying too much, completely different from the calm of a few hours ago.

 Fernando starts to get up and go to calm him down, but Oscar is faster. He walks towards his father, his approach noticed but his intentions ignored.

“You should go take a shower while I order food, would you prefer pepperoni pizza or-”

 Oscar hugs him.

 It's a tight hug, where Oscar buries his face in the older man's shoulder and breathes in deeply the familiar scent. Mark is slow to react, with his arms raised in the air and holding his cell phone, but when he understands that his son is hugging him, he slowly hugs him back.

“You're always worrying about me, even after confessing that you had to abandon the one you loved most to take care of me” Oscar snorts, annoyed with his neglected father himself “I hope you know that I'm eternally grateful for everything and I love you, dad. I just want you to be happy”

 If Fernando thought Mark seemed vulnerable when he asked for forgiveness and was honest about his feelings, it's because he hadn't yet seen Mark fall apart after Oscar said that to him.

 There is something in nature that allows a 1.84 man to cry like that, without feeling that expressing his love for another man threatens his masculinity.

 Mark hugs Oscar tightly and kisses the top of his head repeatedly, mentally thanking the universe for allowing him to be his father.

 Fernando's eyes burn, he feels like an intruder witnessing that scene, but he doesn't want to leave. Seeing two of the people he loves, he knows he loves, right in front of him makes Fernando feel predestined to become the happiest man in the world.

 What other person, other than a father, could speak of the pleasure he feels in seeing his son interact with those who also care so much about him.

 Oscar breaks away from Mark's arms to look at Fernando. The sight of those brown eyes went straight to his heart.

 Fernando isn't the biggest fan of hugs, but he forgets that the moment Oscar walks back to him and he opens his own arms, welcoming the boy willingly.

 Oscar's head rests on his shoulder and for the first time Fernando feels the courage to raise his hand and stroke his hair, with tenderness and affection, his son's hair.

 They stay like that for a while, until Fernando can no longer avoid making a funny comment.

 He whispers in Oscar's ear, "If you tell anyone in the office that I cried, I promise you will never eat another cupcake again."

 Oscar laughs.

***

 They spent a few hours talking in the living room, the combination of the three made for a lot of fun topics. Oscar and Fernando don't share the same blood, however, Mark watches the two talk with familiarity, it's as if they were relatives. That's the only explanation he feels when they have the connection they have without knowing each other for so long.

 This surprises him when he remembers that Fernando and Oscar have known each other for less than a year. Maybe it was destiny, when it's meant to be, it will be.

 They eat pizza while watching TV in the living room, sharing their first dinner together. Oscar goes to the bathroom and Fernando follows Mark to the kitchen, to 'help' wash the dishes.

“Oscar will be back soon” Mark warns when Fernando doesn’t move away after another kiss “And I need to wash these dishes”

“Leave those dishes there” Fernando says, grumpily, grabbing Mark’s face and bringing it back to him for another kiss “I’m more interesting”

 Mark laughs “I can’t disagree with that”

 They kiss some more, until the oldest of them pulls away and looks more serious.

“Nando, this between us is serious, isn’t it?”

 Fernando takes a few steps back “Why? Do you think it’s not serious for me?”

“I want it to be as much for you as it is for me” he snorts, moistening his lips “I… I can finally live what I've always wanted, but I only want that if it's with you. I'm a man with a lot of baggage, I've been married, divorced and I have a son, Nando. I want you more than anything now, I can't pretend my past doesn't exist.”

“You are my past” Fernando says, getting closer again “And I love you” he holds Mark's hand, kissing each knuckle on his finger “I love Oscar. I love anything that comes with my Mark. So yes, for me it's serious” close enough, he kisses him “I would never joke about that”

 Instead of responding, Mark grabs Fernando and pins him against the refrigerator. The way they kiss makes Fernando remember the first time, how Mark's eyes were wild and he was hungry.

 Fernando presses his hips together and smiles because he already feels a volume, but frowns because he has a strange shape.

“Wait, wait” he breaks the kiss “What is this?”

 He feels Mark's pants until he feels that strange shape that is definitely not the other man's penis. Fernando reaches into his pocket and pulls out a kitkat bar.

“You’ve got to be kidding” Fernando laughs breathlessly “What is that?”

“Uh… my emergency pocket?”

 Mark is the only person Fernando knows who keeps a chocolate bar in an 'emergency pocket' and not a condom.

“That’s why I love you” and then Fernando pulls him in for a quick kiss, because Oscar is already back.

***

“So… I was thinking” Sebastian says one day as they go out to the bar together, staring into his almost empty glass of beer “I'm going to take Charles to the playground this Saturday, I think it would be fun if you brought Oscar. After they play, we can buy ice cream. What do you think?"

 Fernando laughs loudly, his shoulders shaking.

“Okay, okay… I get it now” he replies, sharing a friendly look with the blonde man.

Chapter Text

 The months passed and when Fernando realized it, it was April again.

 He was aware of the delicate balance he needed to maintain between being Oscar's superior in the workplace and a loving stepfather at home. The whole situation was unique as they both shared the same space.

 During working hours, they maintained a professional relationship, focusing on the tasks and goals to be achieved.

 But when they were outside of work, the older man took on a father figure that Oscar didn't know he needed. His father and Fernando were remarkably different, but they complemented each other. This combination also had an effect on how they dealt with Oscar.

 Fernando missed several significant moments in Oscar's life, which, on the other hand, Mark had the privilege of witnessing. Despite this, what comforts him is knowing that Oscar chooses to talk to him about new significant moments that arise.

 Oscar trusted him to share his problems.

 Oscar told him when he and Lando started dating.

 And other examples, of course, but that doesn't mean that Fernando doesn't miss being able to experience Oscar's growth.

 That's why he's so nervous for the weekend.

“It’s just a party” Mark says, trying to reassure his boyfriend.

 Fernando looks at him as if Mark had said the most absurd thing ever.

“It's the first birthday I've celebrated with Oscar, almost 1 year since we met. It's easy for you to say that, you've experienced 20 birthdays with him, and I've had none” he turns back to the store shelf displaying a variety of balloons “Which color do you think he'll like best?”

 Mark sighs and walks over, pointing at the blue and red balloons.

“When he was a kid he was obsessed with Spider-Man.”

 Fernando nods, picking up a package of red balloons and a blue one.

 Mark said he doesn't need to throw a party, but Fernando wants to put together at least one memorable decoration and take Oscar to dinner. Oscar, in this case, doesn't yet know that they are going out for dinner on his birthday.

 Lando knows about the plan, he's going to distract Oscar until he can take him home and see the surprise, then the two couples will have dinner together at Mama's. Fernando trusted him and hopes not to be disappointed.

 All of Fernando's friends who are already parents can't understand why he cares so much about choosing the right balloons for someone's 21st birthday. This is because, obviously, all these friends were present in their children's lives from the first day of their lives.

 For Fernando, it's as if Oscar had been born on April 12th, almost a year ago, which was when he became aware of his existence. All parents throw exaggerated parties on their children's first birthday, for Fernando it is that, Oscar's first birthday with him.

"Which one?" he shows Mark two banner templates saying 'happy birthday'.

 Mark points to the one Fernando holds in his right hand. When he looks at Fernando, he thinks how excited he looks about putting together a little party. 20 years ago, when it was Mark shopping for decorations for Oscar's freshman party, he didn't have anyone to share his excitement with.

 Fernando is doing his best and carries Mark down every aisle, pointing to items in the store that he finds interesting or ugly and laughing at them. He decides to cheer himself up a little more and make this experience good for his boyfriend too.

“When we're done here, we need to choose which cake to buy” Mark remembers, looking at the items that filled the shopping basket as if checking if it's okay.

 Fernando scoffs with a laugh “This part isn't difficult, Oscar loves anything with chocolate. Reminds me of someone” he affectionately strokes Mark's chin, playing with his beard with his fingertips.

 This gesture tickles and Mark pulls his neck back while laughing “Hey, chocolate is a flavor you can’t go wrong with”

“A little basic. At least you're not vanilla worshipers” Fernando's eyes widen when he sees something behind Mark. The older man turns his head, seeing a Spider-Man poster.

“Are you going to-” he tries to ask, but Fernando is already answering.

"For sure"

***

 Oscar covers his mouth with one hand, yawning, as he patiently waits for the coffee machine to finish pouring his second cup of coffee.

 Luckily it's Friday, which means the weekend is closer than ever and he needs a break.

 Just a few more hours and he'll be able to go find his bed.

“See if it’s not the birthday boy”

 Oscar turns his head and smiles when he sees Lando approaching him. The curly-haired boy stops next to him and watches with disgust as the coffee machine takes a long time to fill the cup, then looks at Oscar and shows a bright smile.

“Are you anxious about tomorrow?”

“To be honest, I can’t imagine doing anything than sleeping, Lando” Oscar says, holding a sigh “I’m exhausted”

 Lando's smile fades and he looks at his boyfriend sympathetically. He reaches out and plays with some of the overgrown strands of hair on the back of Oscar's neck, even though it's against office rules to show affection. But no one really cares about the rules, except for George.

 Oscar relaxes his neck and lets himself enjoy the affection.

“We don't have to do much” Lando says “If you want, we can stay in my apartment, cuddled up on the sofa watching a movie. I just want to spend your birthday with you.”

“I’m going to sleep all day, baby.”

 Lando's smile returns to his lips, he lowers his hand a little and massages Oscar's tense neck, who holds back a moan.

“It’s okay if you sleep, I just want to be with you. I can give you a massage all over your body, so you can relax…” Lando's voice gets lower as he speaks “I'm going to give you a relaxing birthday, I'm going to make you feel the best- uh, hi, Fernando !”

 Lando turns away from Oscar as if running from fire, laughing nervously at the older man who has suddenly appeared.

 Oscar also wakes up from his trance and looks at him with red ears.

 Fernando shows his best smile and talks to Lando “I came to see if Oscar got lost along the way with my coffee, apparently you're the one distracting him. Again"

 Lando lets out a tense laugh “Never! I was just, uh, talking about our plans for tomorrow.”

 Fernando blinks, then looks at Oscar “Oscar, would you mind taking our coffees to my table and waiting there? Lando and I will talk about some emails.”

 Oscar looks between his boyfriend and his stepfather and waves, grabbing the cups and quickly escaping from there.

 When he is out of sight, Fernando speaks again “What are you going to do tomorrow?”

 Lando makes an uncomfortable face and takes a step back “I don’t like talking about my intimacy with your son, with all due respect”

"It's not that!" Fernando snorts “Where are you going to take him? I need to know to have everything ready”

“Oh!” he finally understands “Well, Oscar is too tired, from what he told me, so we will stay at my apartment. When everything is ready, send me a message and I’ll come up with an excuse to take him home.”

 Fernando nods, happy that his plan is going as planned “Alright, I'll let you know. Thanks"

 Before he can turn to leave, Lando grabs his arm.

"Wait! I wanted to talk to you about something” he says agitatedly.

 Fernando looks at him expectantly, but also impatient to get back to his table soon.

"What?"

 Lando licks his lips.

“I haven't bought Oscar a gift yet, I'm… not sure what I should get, actually. Do you have any tip?"

“Why would I know? You are his boyfriend”

 Lando rolls his eyes “Yeah, but you’re his dad”

 Fernando opens his mouth but soon closes it, the other's comment shocks and moves him with the same intensity. Realizing that he caused such feelings in the man, Lando soon explains himself.

“Oscar always calls you that, that’s why I said it too”

 Fernando coughs, composing his emotions.

“Well…” he decides to help “Do you love him?”

 Lando positions himself defensively “Of course I love him, very much”

“So don’t think about money or what would be better to buy. If you really want to give him something, try something that makes him understand that you want him and that you will love him forever. Something meaningful and valuable, you understand?”

 Lando widens his eyes and stutters, hesitantly asking “Are… are you serious? Will he like this??"

 Fernando nods positively.

“Coming from your heart, he will definitely accept it”

 A new light shines in the boy's eyes, he agrees decisively.

“If you approve, then fine” Lando turns his back and disappears from Fernando's vision quickly, finally having found a perfect gift idea. Fernando laughs after he finds himself alone.

"Weirdo"

***

 Oscar gradually wakes up to the sensation of something wet touching his face between intervals. When he's awake enough, he realizes it's Lando kissing him.

 He opens one eye and sees his boyfriend smiling.

“Good morning, did I wake you up?” he asks with false innocence.

 Oscar laughs, rubbing his face against the pillow and taking a deep breath.

“Don’t worry, I would wake up soon to that smell” he turns around, smelling the ready-made breakfast in the air “Did you cook?”

 Lando nods excitedly and jumps out of bed to grab a tray of pancakes he made earlier. “Your dad said you loved having breakfast in bed on your birthday, so I made one of your favorites: pancakes with nutella.”

 Oscar sits on the bed and slowly absorbs all that information. “Wait, when did my dad tell you that?”

“Me and Mark Webber are practically best friends now, we're always talking about you” Lando puts the tray on Oscar's lap and sits next to him. He runs his hand through his boyfriend's messy hair, who refuses to use a comb, and kisses those lips he loves so much. “Happy birthday, now eat. I didn’t stand in front of the stove at 7am for nothing.”

 Oscar laughs and soon starts eating. He closes his eyes, relaxes his shoulders and sighs as he feels the chocolate melt on his tongue.

"It's delicious. Thanks"

"What? Is Lando the best boyfriend in the world? Oh, Oscar, you flatter me so much. Look how red my cheeks are.”

 After Oscar swallows all the food, he laughs loudly and with his mouth open, then leans in to shut Lando up with a sweet kiss. He feels that he is indeed very lucky to have Lando with him.

***

 Oscar is entitled to some birthday privileges. He just wanted to relax, enjoy Lando's company and do simple things. When they sit on the sofa, Lando takes the opportunity to give his boyfriend a shoulder massage, just as he promised.

“You are a terrible professional” Oscar says.

"Me? Why?" Lando asks, pretending not to know what the other was talking about.

“Because you kiss my neck more than you massage me”

 Lando laughs, giving one more kiss to one of the dots he found on the other's neck. “Ah, that's part of Oscar's special birthday package.”

 Oscar laughs “Not professional yet”

 Lando opens his mouth to tease more, but a new notification that flashes on his cell phone screen catches his attention. When he reads Fernando's message, letting him know that everything was ready, he takes his hands off Oscar and jumps in place as if he had been scared.

 Oscar looks at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Is everything okay?”

"Yes! I mean, uh… Actually, I remembered that…” he pauses, thinking about how he's going to get Oscar to Fernando's house now.

 The youngest waits, encouraging his boyfriend to continue.

 Lando, like Fernando, has the characteristic of saying things without thinking about the consequences.

“Fernando’s house is on fire”

 Oscar widens his eyes, scared, and quickly gets up from his seat, going to look for his cell phone.

"How?!" he shouts from the hallway.

 Lando gets up too and looks for his car keys “Uh, so, it was actually the microwave that exploded and caused a small fire”

“Why did he warn you and not me? No offense” Oscar returns, looking at his cell phone and finding it strange that he hasn't received any messages.

“I don’t know, Fernando is old. Do you want to go to his house and see if he and your dad are okay?”

 Oscar is already opening the door “Let’s go”

 Lando celebrates internally, being careful not to forget to take a very important item with him.

***

“His house looks good” Oscar says as soon as he steps onto the sidewalk, walking quickly towards the entrance of the house.

 Lando, disguising his anxiety with a smile, agreed, “That’s a good thing.”

 Oblivious to his boyfriend's intentions, Oscar didn't think about knocking before entering the house. When he crosses the doorway, he is surprised by his father and Fernando screaming.

"SURPRISE!"

 The look of shock on Oscar's face turned to confusion, then he looked at Lando, who was smiling carefree, then at his two dads, and then at the balloons and…

“Is that a Spider-Man poster?”

 Fernando smiled, proud of his joke “Yes!”

“No fire happened?” he asks again.

"Fire?" Mark and Fernando ask in unison, looking to Lando for a satisfactory answer.

 He just shrugged, without guilt “I needed to get him out of the house, that was the only faster thing I thought of”

 Oscar looks at him accusingly.

“Fernando organized most of it” Mark says, approaching his son and guiding him towards his stepfather “He wanted to make your day special”

“I mean… yes, I thought about some details” Fernando responds humbly.

 Oscar looks at him affectionately “Even on the Spider-Man poster?”

“Your father helped a little. Sorry if it seems… a lot, I’ve never done this before.”

 The boy smiles, truly grateful “I wasn’t expecting a party, thank you”

 Fernando ruffles his hair “Don’t say thank you now, we’re still going out to dinner together”

***

 Fernando and Mark didn't bother blowing up balloons for nothing, even though they were going out to eat somewhere else, Fernando made a point of recording that day with some photos and making Oscar blow out the candles on top of the chocolate cake.

“Here you go” Mark brings a small wrapped box from the room and hands it to his son “Your birthday present, congratulations buddy” he hugs Oscar and kisses his forehead, taking the opportunity to whisper just to him “Did your mom call?”

 Oscar responds, equally whispering “In the morning, after I had breakfast”

“That’s good,” the man says, satisfied and not wanting to ask any more questions.

 Mark remembered Oscar talking about a book a few weeks ago, so he made sure to buy it for him as a gift.

"Dad!" Oscar looks at him with shining eyes “How did you remember? I thought you weren’t even listening.”

 The man opens his mouth to respond, but Fernando appears with another box, eager to deliver the gift.

“My turn!” he says.

 Oscar laughs and lets Lando hold the book and poke around, muttering a polite 'thank you' to his father before opening Fernando's gift.

 Everyone, with the exception of Fernando, waits expectantly.

 When Oscar opens the box and sees what's inside, he throws his head back and laughs openly. Fernando's smile widens, while Lando and Mark look at each other in confusion.

 Their confused faces only intensify when Oscar takes the object in hand.

“An iron?” Lando questions.

“It’s an inside joke of ours” Fernando explains, finding himself very funny.

“Ah, you saved my shirts. Now I need to learn how to use it properly” Oscar puts the gift back in the box, his face hurts from smiling so much in a single day.

“I’ll give you your gift only at the restaurant, it’s the best gift ever!” Lando says, then turns to talk to the 2 older men “No offense”

 Fernando rolls his eyes, accepting to hold Mark's hand when it is extended to him.

“Well” says Mark “I think we can go to Mama now and enjoy the second part of this birthday”

“Hey, isn’t all my effort to keep him at home worth the first part of his birthday?” Lando asks, as if it's hard to keep Oscar in bed all day.

***

 From the day Oscar was born, Mark dreamed of taking him to his favorite restaurant. An extra to this dream was Fernando being with them. Now, it includes adding a fourth chair for Lando, after all, he's part of the family too.

 Visiting this same restaurant on Oscar's birthday makes older men emotional because it all has a deep meaning to them.

 Oscar told Lando the whole story between his father and Fernando, which he heard and also had a wave of emotions. Who knew there would be a day when Lando would see Fernando Alonso with different eyes, as a man much more than a pain-in-the-ass co-worker, but also someone who wanted a family.

 He and Oscar needed to reduce their 'chance' encounters in the corridors and at the coffee machine, it's difficult to flirt when his boyfriend's stepfather works in the same environment as them.

 And, of course, Lando wanted to make a good impression on Mark from the first day he met him, if he could get the approval of, he repeat, Fernando Alonso, then he would feel more confident about being welcomed into the family.

 Lando loves Oscar, very much. They started dating a few months ago, but he's sure that what he feels is so intense and will last for years, just like Fernando's love for Mark. And he believes Oscar feels the same way.

 After Fernando talked to him and gave him his blessing, Lando thought, why wait? It would just be another way to bring him closer to the family.

“Oscar” nervousness leaves him breathless, he smiles when his boyfriend looks at him.

"Yes?"

 Lando holds his hand tenderly, playing with his fingers before starting the speech he rehearsed the night before in front of the mirror.

“I love you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I am very happy to be celebrating your birthday here with you and your family.”

 The mention of them makes Mark and Fernando stop pretending they weren't listening to the conversation, they both pay attention to what the curly-haired boy has to say.

 Oscar's ears turn visibly red, as they always do when Lando spews praise at him.

“I… love you too” Oscar is more aware of his parents watching and is embarrassed to know why Lando is saying all that now. Maybe he should stop drinking “But why now?” he asks in a breathy laugh.

“Well, I talked to Fernando about it and with his permission I was more sure that this is what I want” Lando explains shyly.

“What is he talking about?” Mark whispers.

“I have no idea” Fernando responds in a whisper, finding it all strange.

 To satisfy everyone's doubts, Lando lets go of Oscar's hands to reach for something in his pocket. Fernando's eyes widen as he finally understands what is happening.

 Lando takes a small red velvet box out of his pocket and shows a wedding ring inside.

 Oscar's eyes double in size and he covers his mouth in surprise. From the commotion, some people who were dining near them began to watch and gasp equally.

“Oscar Jack Webber-Piastri, will you marry-”

"NO!" Fernando and Mark scream at the same time, throwing their bodies on the table in an attempt to prevent Lando from finishing his sentence. The table pushes Lando and Oscar's chairs back, resulting in the 4 of them falling to the floor hard.

"The ring!" Lando screams, dragging himself across the floor, looking for the lost object.

 Fernando groans painfully “Did that fall hurt more than it should have or are we old?”

 Mark caresses his sore knee and responds “Both.”

"I found it!" Lando finds the ring and turns to talk to Oscar, but he hesitates when he sees his boyfriend sitting on the floor, holding his arm, face contorted in pain.

“Babe, are you okay?” he approaches his boyfriend, touching his head carefully “Are you hurt?”

 Mark and Fernando ignore the waiter who runs towards them and get up, heading towards Oscar and Lando.

“Osc, what happened?” Mark asks worriedly.

 Oscar groans painfully and indicates the arm he is holding.

“I… I think I broke my wrist.”

 Just then, Jeremy shows up to check what happened. He analyzes the scenario and lets out a breathless laugh.

“Oh my god, I feel like I’m having deja vu.”