Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Was he… dead? It can’t be. He could still hear from a far away place, Kurama frantically calling his name.

He still had so much to do as the Hokage.

What about the new regulations at the academy? He wanted to make Iruka sensei the director, he gave so much of himself for his student and for the institution.

What about the truce between the villages? They indeed reach a state of peace after the war, common enemy and all that jazz. But through time, ripples started to show after the villages got back on their feet. And he was heavily conscious of the fact that his presence alone was a rampart beetwin peace and their bubbling ambitions. What will come of that ?

What about the new train rail project?

What about Kakashi sensei? Iruka sensei? Konohamaru? Lee? Chôji ?

Who’s going to keep company to Ayame on late nights?

Who’s going to buy all of Ino’s flowers on a whim?

Keep company too Lee on his darkest night?

Make Gai sensei laugh out loud when Kakashi sensei was on a mission and he could feel his phantom pain creeping up all at once ?

Who’s going to take care of the framed picture of Shikamaru in his home office? It needed to be dusted every three days. He needed to go to his grave to change the flowers before they fade. Will somebody change them for him?
He wanted begonias this time. Shika would have hated those.

He still had so m… wait? It wasn’t so bad. In some place, in the afterlife maybe he’ll meet Shika or his parents. Dying doesn’t seem that bad now.

But when did he ever get this kind of chance ?
Never. At least that’s what he thought.

His whole body was painful. He could hear bribs of sentences and almost taste the pungent smell of alcohol. He’s not a big drinker nor does he know one.

"You little shit. If you don’t have any money to pay don’t come near my shop!"

Huh? It’s been a while since he’s been talked to this way. Who on the village would talk to him…WHY WAS THIS MAN SO TALL?

"Excuse me.." he tried.
"NO EXCUSES! There is nothing you could say to make your existence forgiven! What an abomination!"

Now, WHY WAS HE SO TINY? So feeble? He looked at his hands. Cute little? Hands?
"What the…"

Okay he needed a moment cause he doesn’t feel his lungs at all. He ran in a small alley instinctively to manage his episode. He just needed to go somewhere dark. In the shadows, that’s where he needed to be, where he felt safe.

Still, this was out of hands. He thought he finally died, overwhelmed and overworked. But he was there, looking really tiny in a dirty alleyway, in a familiar dirty alleyway. From where he was he could see the four hokage’s heads, tsunade, Kakashi and his, nowhere to be seen. It’s not reassuring, at all.

He can feel his breath quicken.
"No. Not now"
He needs control. He doesn’t know what is happening. He doesn’t know where he his. Is he under a genjustsu? He needs control. He needs control. He can’t afford to…

"Naruto?"

And like this voice was the last straw, he was caught in another frenzy. His head was spiraling, His breath short. His heart was hurting. And he passed out. Again.

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the sky. Blue. Peaceful. He could hear the birds singing.

"You're in the past" Kurama said in his mindscape.
"He can’t be…"he whispered. Overly aware of the unfamiliarity he felt moving his limbs.

"Naruto?" He heard HIS voice, for a second time. If it was a «see your life flash in front of your eyes» situation, he officially hated it.
"Hey! Shrimp i am telling you that you’re not dead! I did not disappear!" Kurama said, frustration clear in his voice.

If it was true then…

"What a drag man. Where is Chouji when I need him?"
He could hear the other whisper.
He wanted to cry, scream, or probably both. But he refrained from doing so.

"Shikamaru" he called tentatively, cringing a little bit at his own voice, a child voice, accompanied by a break typical of the aftermath of his episodes.

"Man you sound wrecked."Shikamaru said. And he felt wrecked. He was in the past. How did it happen? Why did it happen? Did his desperate pleas reach a bored god who decided to humor him?

Whatever it is, he is thankful. Even if it’s some kind of dream or an illusion, he is thankful. Even if he had to live again all the horrors of his life he his thankful. Because Shikamaru is there, and well.

"How old are you?"he asked Shikamaru.
"I’m 9 years old, like most children of our promotion. Did you hurt your head when you fell?"

9 years old. It was an eternity ago. He was not even a Genin yet. He was an airhead at that time, full of yearning. Yearning for recognition, friends, parents, a better home, an emotional connection to anything that wasn’t jiji-san.

He looked at Shikamaru’s face, unbothered as ever, unburdened of the years of fighting and the consecutive losses. Just his lovable lazy genius.

He was certain it was an illusion. Still…

"Do you want to go eat ramen with me ?" He asked.
"Pfff. Yeah… I guess"

He could feel himself being revitalized. Like a flower, he was basking in the sun. Taking in anything he could. So for the first time after a long time, he genuinely smiled.

"Are you sure you can walk ? I mean…"

He could feel all the bruises on his body. But he knew that Kurama would do the work. Moreover, nothing in the world could stop him from hanging out with Shika. So they stood up and headed for Ichiraku.