Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Elsa’s form vanished into the woods above him, [Greed Subaru] waited a few seconds until he was sure that she was truly gone, then took a deep breath and exhaled tiredly.

“Well, that was quite something,” the voice of Echidna echoed in his mind.

“Right? So, let’s begin trying to explain that. From the top.”

“Well, she acted pretty differently from how we’re used to seeing her… And she left equally soon too…”

After waking up alone in the woods, [Greed Subaru] was forced to march through the thick woodland in search of anyone or anything that might give him a clue about his whereabouts.

This was the most stressful part—his first loop, where everything was new.

He had stumbled upon Elsa, and they had conversed. From what he gleaned from their brief exchange, she was confused as to whether he was the “real” Natsuki Subaru. It was certainly a strange thing to ask. Why would [Greed Subaru] be anyone else?

In any case, whatever their conversation had been, it was cut short by Elsa herself. She had suddenly looked toward the foliage, almost worriedly, as if sensing someone was there. At the very least, that was what she had told him.

It had seemed like she wanted to tell him more, but she chose to disappear into the cover of darkness as quickly as she had appeared.

“Maybe someone’s coming over? I don’t know who could be dangerous enough to force her to hide…”

“Or maybe it wasn’t something dangerous at all. Perhaps she simply wanted to remain unseen by whatever it was.”

The voice came from his pendant—Echidna, the contracted Witch of Greed, speaking in his mind.

“Well, whatever it is, it’s probably something scary, huh?” He reached for the dagger hidden in his clothes, just to check if it was still there.

Sensing his actions despite having no real way of seeing them, Echidna continued. “Are you already thinking about starting over?”

He didn’t respond to her and instead moved closer to where Elsa had disappeared. Although he hadn’t been planning to, he nonetheless took out the dagger. Even if he wasn’t ready to use it just yet, it was reassuring to have something to face whatever had frightened Elsa.

Of course, given the circumstances, he knew he could only put up a token amount of resistance to whatever it was.

Then he heard it—the harsh rustling of leaves and the cracking of branches. It was completely different from Elsa’s silent retreat into the forest. This sounded more like an enraged animal crashing through the undergrowth, rapidly moving toward his location.

He considered running, as the forest was dense enough to hide in. But it was better to face whatever this was head-on, to know what he would be up against next time.

It wouldn’t matter either way. He heard one final loud crash right beside him. Whatever it was had arrived, breaking through the foliage next to him. [Greed Subaru] hid his knife and turned to the source of the crash with anticipation—or at least as much anticipation as he could muster now. At this point, he thought he could no longer be surprised by anything this world had to offer.

Yet, even he couldn’t help but gasp in shock at what he saw emerge from the bushes.

It was a carbon copy of him. The figure wore his old tracksuit and was covered in leaves and broken branches, along with a few bruises and cuts. It took a moment for their eyes to meet, as the copy was busy brushing off the leaves and sticks clinging to him.

But then their eyes locked. He could easily identify the anger in the copy’s gaze, currently directed straight at him.

Before [Greed Subaru] could say anything, the copy opened his mouth and spoke in a voice unmistakably his own.

“Why…” His voice trembled, yet there was conviction behind it. “Why are you giving up so easily?”

…

“Now this is interesting.” Echidna’s voice echoed directly into his mind, though he was too shocked to fully register it. “Yes, this is going to be very interesting indeed…”

“You two… are you sure this isn’t a prank because I’m the newest one?” [Lust Subaru] was obviously dubious about the whole situation, but seeing the faces of the other two, it was hard to dismiss their words as a joke.

“You’re married to Emilia and Rem, and Rem is pregnant.”

Repeating his words from another time, Subaru didn’t even bother to look at the astonished king, focusing entirely on the terrified form of his other counterpart. It wasn’t fear, but more likely shock. Subaru had managed to be free of the curse for nearly a whole year, and experiencing it again had been horrifying. He could only imagine how it would feel to have been free from the cold curse and the experience of dying for so long, only to have it thrust upon him again.

He tried to reach for [Sloth Subaru’s] shoulder, seeing him shaking and his teeth chattering in fear. He wanted to offer reassuring words or a comforting hug, but he refrained. It was better for [Sloth Subaru] to regain his bearings on his own, and Subaru didn’t even know what to say in this situation.

Luckily, [Lust Subaru] broke the tension. “So, you both died... Are things that bad? Is something going to attack us?”

Subaru turned to the king, his hand still resting on the trembling father’s shoulder, though it didn’t seem to help much.

“Yeah. Elsa is nearby... and she got us.” Subaru decided it was better not to mention how he had met his demise by his own hand last time.

“E-Elsa? She’s alive here?”

Subaru shook his head. “No. My Elsa is dead.” It felt strange to call her his Elsa. “And apparently yours is too, right?”

[Lust Subaru] nodded, then turned to the still-recovering [Sloth Subaru]. “Then maybe his Elsa is still—”

That was enough to snap [Sloth Subaru] back to his senses, though before he could respond, Subaru interjected.

“No. It wasn’t his Elsa, and it wasn’t the Elsa from that other guy either. By the way she acted, it was like an entirely different Elsa altogether.”

An Elsa who knew him, who worked under him, and followed his orders. How had that come about? Had he somehow forgiven her and hired her? Had he befriended her too? It seemed unlikely, but not impossible.

He wondered what kind of man this [Subaru] was, to be able to do such a thing.

“Other guy?” the king asked, perplexed.

Subaru paused to think about what he had just said.

“Right! That other guy! He’s going to stab himself unless we stop him!”

“Huh?!” “What!?”

[Sloth Subaru], now fully snapped out of his daze, moved forward.

“B-but… I thought you said he was killed by Elsa?”

Even though he had Returned by Death as well, [Sloth Subaru] hadn’t been there when they discovered what [Greed Subaru] had done to himself.

“That’s what I thought too. But when we found him... there was no doubt. He stabbed himself. He probably did the same thing the other time too.”

This revelation did nothing to calm [Sloth Subaru] and only further confused the king.

“Wait, wait, wait! Other time? You mean this isn’t your first time Returning by Death?”

“It’s the first for me,” [Sloth Subaru] said, his brow furrowing. It was his first death in forever. “But this guy’s already on his second try.” He paused. “Or maybe more…?”

“No, this is my second time since all this started,” Subaru confirmed.

“Good...” [Sloth Subaru] sighed in relief. “Then, do you know why that guy’s going to… why he’s going to do that?”

“That’s exactly what I’m planning to ask him.”

With determination clear on his face, Subaru turned to the still-flabbergasted king. “Hey, you can move quickly with your Soul Marriage thingy, right?”

The king blinked in confusion. “Huh? Uh… I guess I can. But don’t expect me to move like Julius or Reinhard.”

“As long as you can get us to the other [Subaru], it’s fine.”

“Um... carrying both of you might be tricky...” he said hesitantly.

“That won’t be necessary,” [Sloth Subaru] spoke up. “I’ll go search for help at the mansion.”

Subaru looked at him incredulously. “A-are you sure? That’s how you... how Elsa—”

[Sloth Subaru] gave a small, slightly forced, reassuring smile. “I know... which is why I want to ask,” his smile grew into a grin, “Did it look like anyone at the mansion came to check out what was going on?”

“Yes,” Subaru affirmed, not yet grasping where he was going with this.

“Well… I thought maybe they somehow noticed my Shamak from afar. It was large enough to pierce through the forest, right?”

Subaru snapped his fingers. “Oh! Yeah, maybe that was it!” His excitement quickly faded, though. “But maybe doing that will just make Elsa reach you faster...”

[Sloth Subaru’s] whole body shivered at the thought. Still, he remained determined. “F-fine. I’ll use it as a last resort. But I’m still going.”

Subaru didn’t know what spurred his fellow looper to act like this. If it were fear of Elsa, surely he wouldn’t have volunteered to do the same thing that got him killed.

Regardless, Subaru nodded in approval. He knew better than anyone how even small changes in a loop could make a difference, like taking the same road twice.

“Then it’s settled. Don’t die.”

[Sloth Subaru] smiled again, this time genuinely. “Same to you.”

As the father left, Subaru turned to the king. “I know this is sudden, and you’re probably very confused, but—”

[Lust Subaru] raised his hands. “Hey, no need for that. I don’t get it all, but... there’s no doubt you two are me.” He thumped his chest with a fist. “So, where do you need me to carry you, boss?”

“Over there.” Subaru pointed. “And, ugh... drop the ‘boss’ thing, please. Garfiel is already enough—whoa!”

Suddenly, Subaru found himself lifted off the ground... in a bridal carry.

“H-hey! Isn’t there another way to carry me?” Subaru protested, embarrassed by the pose.

“Sorry, carrying someone like this has become second nature to me. Just endure it.”

“Arg! If it’s a girl, I’m fine with being carried, but this is reserved for love interests! Not some dude! Especially not myself!” Subaru screamed as he endured the king’s smug grin.

“Pfft!”

Subaru turned to see the source of the muffled laugh. [Sloth Subaru] hadn’t left yet either.

“No, no, no! This is so humiliating!”

Deciding to spare him further embarrassment, [Lust Subaru] held back his laughter and prepared to jump.

“Alright, hold on tight. I’ll try to avoid crashing into trees, but... sorry in advance.”

Subaru blinked twice. “Huh? What—AHH!”

And just like that, they leapt into the forest. It was a mighty jump, but not as impressive as something Garfiel or Emilia might do. Nevertheless, the king took them in small leaps toward where [Greed Subaru] was.

“Ah!” They both got smacked by leaves. Subaru spat out the ones he accidentally swallowed.

It was a rough trip. They constantly crashed through branches and foliage. The fire blazing in [Lust Subaru’s] eyes didn’t make him immune to getting leaves and twigs all over him, though at least his long flowing cape didn’t get caught on anything.

Despite the discomfort, Subaru forced himself to stay alert. It was hard to gauge the distance given their movement, but the last thing he wanted was to overshoot their destination.

“S-stop!”

Landing one final time, Subaru broke free from the king’s grip and fell to the ground. He quickly surveyed his surroundings but couldn’t be sure they’d gone the correct distance. He could only hope they were close.

Stumbling out of the bushes, Subaru made his way clumsily into a clearing. He managed to stay upright and steadied himself. And it seemed he was in luck.

In the clearing, [Greed Subaru] stood, alive this time.

Subaru froze, stunned by the sight. His eyes... they were the same lifeless eyes Subaru had seen in his corpse. The same dead expression now appeared on someone living. He had the same eyes when he stabbed himself and died, as he did now. He didn’t even seem surprised to see him.

Something more than discomfort stirred in Subaru at the sight of those hellish eyes, his eyes, looking so dead.

He had planned to ask a lot of things when they finally met. But considering the situation, the only thing he could ask was...

“Why…” His voice trembled with doubt and fear, yet he spoke with conviction. “Why are you giving up so easily?”

Finally, those lifeless eyes showed a flicker of emotion. Subaru saw a hint of surprise. And when [Lust Subaru] stepped out of the foliage as well, it added to the shock. But [Greed Subaru’s] cold gaze remained, irritating Subaru.

[Greed Subaru] recovered from the shock quickly. Or at least that’s how it looked to Subaru, as his gaze returned to the normal ‘dead’ one, infuriating Subaru even more.

He had a lot of things to scream at him, most of it not pretty. But before letting himself get swept up in the moment, he had to stop [Greed Subaru] from being swept up in the moment himself.

“W-wait!” Subaru spoke before [Greed Subaru] even had a chance to begin. “Before anything, just know… Whatever you’re trying to do, it won’t work. You won’t be back.”

He was vague enough with his wording just in case. But [Greed Subaru] seemed to understand, as this time, much to Subaru’s delight, those cold, dead eyes actually widened in shock. In fact, his whole body recoiled at the words.

“H-how can you…”

Subaru carefully approached the other him. “I… I saw it.”

Another shadow of surprise crossed his face, but it was quickly snuffed out. Those cold eyes became more calculating. At least, Subaru thought they did. Despite supposedly being more or less the same person, Subaru couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on in the other ‘him’s’ mind.

[Greed Subaru] clutched his pendant as if it would calm his nerves. Considering his voice stopped trembling, it seemed to have worked.

“So? You’d better start explaining yourself.”

The sudden standoffish attitude threw Subaru off. “W-wha—” Subaru shook his head. “No way, I asked you first!”

[Greed Subaru] smirked. “Well, whatever you thought I was going to do, I simply won’t do it anymore. That’s what got you so agitated, right?”

Subaru grumbled but relented. What he had to say was extremely important, after all.

“Alright, alright. But you must promise to come with us. It’d be way better to explain—”

“Nuh-uh.” [Greed Subaru] interrupted him. “You explain first. Then I’ll decide if I believe you and go with you.”

Even though it was a reasonable demand, it nevertheless irritated the other two. [Lust Subaru] angrily stomped forward. “Listen, we don’t have time for—”

“No, it’s fine,” Subaru interrupted him. “I can tell him. Just be warned, it’s not something simple to wrap your head around.”

“I can see that.”

And so, Subaru began to explain everything he knew about the current situation. Considering he’d already had to do this a couple of times, he had a bit of experience now.

It was a little jarring that [Lust Subaru] had joined the newcomer in attentively listening and asking questions. Obviously, their talk with him had happened in a previous loop, so he was also looking forward to understanding more about the situation.

And [Greed Subaru] seemed to take note of this.

“Wait. If I’m correct, only you—” he pointed at Subaru—“have… returned.” [Greed Subaru] was purposely vague with his words.

“Well, yes. But there’s another guy, another ‘us,’ who also returned with me.”

[Greed Subaru] turned to look at the king, who just shrugged. “That’s how it looked. The both of them, so eerily in sync…”

[Greed Subaru] seemed to consider everything he’d been told. Again, it was hard for the other two to decipher what he was thinking. Were those cold, dead eyes hiding a calculating mind, or did they simply reflect how tired he was? Perhaps both.

Then, completely out of the blue, he asked, “My parents. What are their names?”

Both Subarus looked at each other before nodding, and then they spoke at the same time. “Natsuki Kenichi and Natsuki Naoko!”

“And they’re not just your parents, they’re our parents,” Subaru huffed.

[Greed Subaru] didn’t even blink at their answer. Subaru was close to snapping when [Greed Subaru] spoke again.

“In my homeland—our homeland—what’s the tallest mountain?”

Again, the two Subarus were blindsided for a moment before confidently answering in unison.

“Mount Fuji.”

They both grinned at [Greed Subaru], feeling victorious, but he showed no sign of annoyance. He hummed and closed his eyes, tapping his chin thoughtfully until he finally smirked.

It was the first time Subaru had seen him show emotion, and it looked absolutely terrifying on his face. Subaru had always been self-aware of his scary eyes, but he never could have imagined how truly awful they could become. He kept those thoughts to himself, of course.

[Greed Subaru] took a deep breath and declared, “Alright. Last question.”

Seeing that their little quiz was coming to an end, both Subarus exchanged one last worried glance. “Alright, shoot,” [Lust Subaru] said.

Then, in a completely monotone voice, [Greed Subaru] asked, “In the Pleiades constellation, which star is the closest to Celaeno when moving southward?”

This was a difficult question. Most people wouldn’t be able to even begin to recall such information, and even those who lightly studied the subject might struggle. For the natives of this world, answering would be basically impossible.

“Electra.” “Electra?”

When both men gave the same answer simultaneously, there was no doubt of their claim as Natsuki Subaru.

“Yeah, it’s Electra, right?” “Yeah, that’s right!”

As both excitedly began to reaffirm their answer and their shared love of astronomy, they lost sight of [Greed Subaru] for just a moment.

“Elsa! You’re still here, right? Come out.”

“Wuh—What are you doing!?” Subaru screamed. For a few seconds, there was no sound other than the cold night wind. Then, in an incredible act of stealth, Elsa practically materialized from the foliage, landing right next to [Greed Subaru].

“That was an interesting talk you all had,” Elsa said dryly. Subaru couldn’t recall her ever looking… frustrated before. The closest had been when she looked at him with disgust that one time…

I don’t like thinking about that…

Subaru dismissed the dark thoughts and tried to speak, but [Greed Subaru] spoke first.

“So, you heard everything, right?”

Elsa eyed them suspiciously. “Do you really believe what they said?”

“The only other way for them to know the answers they gave me would be if this were all a dream. In which case, you’d be a dream apparition too.”

Subaru didn’t think he’d ever seen Elsa lose her composure. Even on the verge of defeat, she had never appeared as uncomfortable as she did now. She had the power to plunge a dagger into all of them in an instant, yet here she was, looking lost.

“Elsa… well, you’re not my Elsa.” The cold way [Greed Subaru] said that made her flinch. Her. Elsa. The same Elsa who had killed him and [Sloth Subaru] without hesitation. And she flinched at his words.

“And I’m not your [Subaru]. Since you happen to be looking out for him, we should join these guys in looking for them.”

His blunt way of asking left almost no room for argument. It was more of an order than a request. He seemed to lack any fear of her, something neither Elsa nor the other Subarus appreciated.

“This certainly seems like an elaborate trap to lure me into going with you…” Elsa said dejectedly. But then, her face regained that small, wicked smile she was known for. “Especially since there’s someone else fleeing into that mansion in the distance, correct?”

Both Subaru and the king stiffened. Once again, she had detected [Sloth Subaru]. But this time, Subaru wouldn’t allow her to chase after him.

“Yeah. And as you may have guessed, he’s also one of us. Also, a Natsuki Subaru.” Even now, that was a weird thing to say. “But he’s not the Subaru you’re looking for.”

Elsa seemed to have completely regained her usual composure. Subaru didn’t know if he actually liked that, but he had to use it to his advantage.

“With him, we’re already up to five of, well, us. This is a pretty strange and dire situation, so I’m sure none of us would hesitate to help another version of ourselves, right?”

[Lust Subaru] smiled and stepped forward. “Exactly! What kind of man would I be if I let an alternate version of myself suffer alone?”

Only then did Subaru notice the king still had a hand firmly on the hilt of his sword. At the very least, it seemed it wouldn’t be needed right now, but it was good to have a fallback.

If Elsa sensed any hostility from them, she didn’t voice it. She turned once more to [Greed Subaru] while still eyeing the two of them.

“It’s so strange. Each of you looks different from the others, and from him… But at the same time, I can’t deny that you’re the same… Fufufu. How wonderful~”

“Still, I don’t have a guarantee that you’ll actually help me, do I?”

[Greed Subaru] turned to Subaru, as if asking for confirmation. Subaru bit his lip. Last time he’d given an answer, it had been a lie, and she had sensed it. Even now, [Sloth Subaru] was heading toward the mansion to seek help.

“No, but trust me—trust us. We really want to help you.”

This time, he genuinely wanted to help her, so he hoped his desire was reflected in his voice.

[Greed Subaru] nodded. “At the very least, I intend to find these other versions of me, regardless of whether you accept or not. So why don’t we help each other while doing so?”

“It’ll be weird working with you, I’ll admit,” the king said. “But I’m sure we can get along.”

Elsa was certainly high on the list of people who had inflicted suffering on Subaru. But if he could forgive someone like Roswaal, then perhaps he could work with this Elsa too.

And speaking of which…

“Yeah! Plus, I’m sure Meili would love to—”

Then, in a sudden flash, Elsa appeared right in front of Subaru. But he felt the cold sensation of her kukri blade in his throat long before his eyes managed to recognize her.

“What did you do to Meili?” Each word was emphasized by her slightly pushing the blade into his neck. Subaru quickly realized he had screwed up.

“M-my Meili! Not yours!” Subaru raised his arms in surrender. He could hear the sound of [Lust Subaru] unsheathing his blade, but it was hard to focus on that while staring into the angry eyes of Elsa.

He had always known Elsa had a soft spot for Meili. For however twisted their relationship had been, there was a sliver of affection between those two sisters. But he never imagined he would see Elsa truly angry.

“Your Meili, is that so?” she said, her blade still resting dangerously close to his throat.

“Y-yes! We took her in, and we’ve been taking care of her. I swear, nothing bad has happened to her!”

While pleading his case, Subaru glanced at the king, silently urging him to stand down. The king hesitated, clearly torn about what to do, but thankfully, [Greed Subaru] stepped in, gently placing a hand on his arm to stop him.

After a tense and terrifying silence, Elsa spoke again. “And what happened to your Elsa, might I ask?”

Subaru swallowed hard. He knew lying was pointless. “She… she’s dead.”

Finally, Elsa released him, letting him drop hard onto the ground. She towered over him, her expression as cold as ever.

“Oh? And perhaps it was you who killed this Elsa?”

“N-no! B-but it was... a friend of mine.” Subaru really didn’t want to bring Garfiel into this, but if he wasn’t completely honest, things could get much worse.

Elsa turned away, not just from him but from the other two as well.

“I see. And will this other me, this other Elsa… come back to life too?”

The question left Subaru stunned. “…Back to life?”

…too?

Elsa turned slightly, giving each of the three Subarus a passing glance, lingering on [Greed Subaru] for a moment.

“I’m sorry, but I won’t be joining you after all.”

Subaru trembled as he stood up, unsure if her return to a more natural tone was a good or bad thing.

[Greed Subaru] reached out. “Elsa. In this bizarre situation, we should all stand together—”

She cut him off with one of her frivolous, unsettling laughs.

“Fufufu~ Yes, I agree. That’s why I’m going to find my Meili and my Subaru first.”

“But—” [Greed Subaru] tried to argue, but Elsa interrupted him again.

“And then I’ll certainly return... to find your Meili.” Her gaze shifted to Subaru, a clear threat in her eyes.

“Elsa, please—”

Despite [Greed Subaru]’s attempts, none of the three could get another word in before Elsa leapt onto a nearby tree branch, her speed far beyond anything they could hope to match. She turned back one final time, that wicked smile still plastered on her face.

“When I return, I wonder… will we be enemies or allies?” She giggled. “Fufufu~ I’m not sure which one I’d enjoy more~”

With that, she vanished into the foliage, leaving any hope of catching her behind.

For a long moment, there was only tense silence. Eventually, [Lust Subaru] placed a hand on Subaru’s shoulder.

“Well, that’s that. What happens next?”

Subaru looked at him incredulously before realizing what he meant.

“Well, this is as far as I’ve gotten. So... I guess that means we did it. Elsa’s gone, and we saved the other me...” He turned toward [Greed Subaru], only to see him brandishing his dagger once again.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t even think about it!” Subaru lunged toward him, but [Greed Subaru] coldly sidestepped, sending Subaru stumbling to the ground.

“Relax. Think of this as reassurance, in case you truly aren’t who you claim to be.”

[Lust Subaru] scoffed. “What, do we need to answer more star-based trivia for you to finally trust us?”

[Greed Subaru] remained silent, standing over Subaru as he struggled to his feet.

“You call that a success? Letting her leave like that?”

“Well, seeing as how we’re still alive—something you didn’t exactly help with—yes, I’d call it a success.”

It was clear [Greed Subaru] disagreed, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

“Oh, and just so you can really put your mind at ease...” Subaru straightened up and struck his usual confident pose. “My name is Natsuki Subaru! And I can Return by Death.”

[Greed Subaru]’s eyes widened in shock, clearly astonished at how easily Subaru had spoken those forbidden words, something Subaru silently appreciated.

“How can you—”

“And considering you played a pretty big role in making me need to use it in the first place, you’d better not have any more objections about coming with us. Got it?”

Having narrowly escaped death once again, it was time for Subaru to explain things to his newest counterpart.

Though, maybe that could wait until after they got some dinner first.