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Chapter Text

~Six Years Post Krang Invasion~

"If you love her you should tell her."

"She's a convicted criminal! We don't belong together!"

"How do you know she wouldn't be willing to change that part of her life for the right person!?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Listen, Dee..."

Donnie turned his back to Leo, leaning hunched over his computer desk as his brother put his hands out, an empathic look on his face, his body language relaxed and displaying the loving concern he felt for his bro as he tried to reason with him.

"When I look at Kendra, I don't see a criminal mastermind anymore, I see someone who's doing what she does because she feels she has to, someone's who's stuck. Maybe . . . I don't know, she wants to get out of that life but she doesn't know how." His voice softened when Donnie's tense composure did the same, and he added: "Just talk to her bro. What do you got to lose?"

After a brief pause, Dee huffed out through his mouth in contempt, and in a sour tone of voice he replied as a statement and not a question: "How about my dignity."

Leo huffed out of his mouth, but his was more akin to a laugh, and with a crooked smile on his face he tried to lighten the mood by commenting in a joking tone: "You always say you fall for the cute, mean girls."

Donnie turned his head slightly to look at his twin brother out of the corner of his eye, and his tone softened a little when he replied: "Of course. I can't fall for just anyone, I do have my bad boy image to uphold after all."

Both brothers smiled, but then the weight of the world seemed to come crashing down on Donnie's shoulders, he whipped his head back around to stare blankly at the computer keyboard in front of him, and his composure tensed all over again.

"Remind me why I told you about this?" he asked in an obviously annoyed tone.

Ploughing right over Donnie's attitude, Leo tipped his hip to the side to rest his hand on it and his smile grew when he replied with his usual cheerful attitude:

"You didn't bro, I figured it out for myself. Remember the night we stopped the Purple Dragons robbing that tech store? I saw that twinkle in your eye!"

But his light-hearted response didn't elicit the reply he was expecting. Instead of relaxing or replying in kind, Donnie tensed so much his tail curled up under his shell, his eyebrows furrowed in anger as he glared at the keyboard as though that was the cause of all his woes; and clenching once of his fists in preparation of slamming it into his desktop, he barked out the harsh words: "There was no twinkle in my eye because I" *BANG!* "do not love her because shes a CRIMINAL!"

Raising his voice in response to Donnie's angry tone and gesturing vividly to the room in general with his hands, Leo countered back with the words: "Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone to get out of that life when they've been a convicted criminal since they were a teenager! No one wants to give somebody a second chance when they show up at a job interview with a criminal record!"

At his words Donnie whipped around, glaring daggers at Leo, and - gesturing even more wildly than his brother had been - he raised his voice louder when he forcefully demanded: "You're a mutant turtle who lives in the sewers and you're trying to tell me about how hard it is for a human to get a human job in a HUMAN WORLD!!! What's next!? BAKING lessons!!?"

Breathing heavily through his scowling mouth Donnie stared Leo down. But instead of challenging him further Leo surprisingly softened his composure and his voice when he replied: "Trust me Dee, I saw the way you looked at her. And I saw the way she looked at you. She likes you, too. Why don't you just give her a chance? See what she's capable of? Maybe she'll surprise you. It's amazing what someone will do for love."

Instead of reciprocating by softening his composure and tone of voice, Donnie clenched his fists, gritted his teeth; and deciding this conversation was over he screamed so loudly at his brother the vein in his head throbbed and his eyes were squeezed shut when he yelled:

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE!!?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say with the way the entire atmosphere changed in an instant. So-much-so that even before he opened his eyes Donnie could feel the shift in the air. And when he did open them he saw Leo's staring back at him, absolutely no angry tension being held anywhere in his body with his mouth hung open in shock.

But why?

His response didn't make any sense!

What did he know about love?

When Donnie saw the look on his bro's face - the way he stared back at him with hurt in his eyes that were glossy and looked about ready to overflow with tears - he straightened up his stance from his surprise, unclenched his fists, let his tail drop down limp behind his back, and maintained eye contact with his twin in one of their stand-offs.

The silent stare-off lasted for a moment before Leo surprised him yet again by uncharacteristically being the first to look away - his cheeks blushing a bright red and his entire countenance falling as he gently hit the side of his fist against his leg over and over as a type of nervous habit, standing uncomfortably as if he was a balloon and Donnie was the needle that deflated him.

"Uh, yeah, you're right. I uh . . . *ahem* don't know what I'm talking about."

He abruptly spun around and briskly left the room, leaving Dee behind dazed and a little confused.

What had happened?

Or, more importantly...

What was Leo hiding?

Chapter 2: Bella-Notte

"...her nickname was Bella-Notte. It means 'beautiful night'...Her eyes dazzled like a starry night sky, that's how she got her nickname. They were the most . . . beautiful set of eyes I ever saw." 

Chapter Text

Donnie approached the counter at a pizza joint located inside a Hidden City arcade, where Leo was sitting hunched over on a stool, an untouched slice of pizza and glass of pop sitting in front of him.

When he saw a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye Leo sat up a little, staring at his twin brother with his eyes popped wide open in surprise and blurting out the phrase: "How did you..."

His face fell, a frown creased the corners of his mouth, and he reached up behind his neck to feel around for and pick off the latest tracker his genius techy brother somehow managed to discreetly stick to the inside lip of his shell.

Holding it up for him to see, he asked in a very unamused tone: "Really? Another tracker?" before flicking it with his finger, shooting it out across the busy arcade where it landed somewhere Donnie could easily locate and pick up later.

Leaning back over the counter and picking up his slice even though he didn't have any intention of eating it, he mumbled: "How many of those are you gonna keep sticking on me before you get the hint?"

"Can I sit down?" was the only reply he was given.

"Nothing's stopping you," was the bland response Donnie received.

Donnie sat on the stool beside his obviously downtrodden twin, looking at the side of his face with those big black eyebrows on his purple mask furrowed from a mixture of confusion and concern.

Without saying another word to his brother, Leo opted to put the untouched slice of pizza back down on the plate and then picked up a paper napkin to wipe the grease off his hand.

The silence stretched on for a moment, with neither turtle really knowing how to start this potentially uncomfortable conversation. So eventually Leo let a tiny grin come on his otherwise bitter-looking face, and without looking up from his slice he decided to try to keep things light by commenting in a quiet but slightly pleasant voice: "It's hard to find a good pizza place in the Hidden City. Most spots don't know how to cook human food right."

(Hueso’s didn't count, of course, because his yokai restaurant was above ground in New York)

Now that his brother had started things Donnie felt more comfortable speaking up, so he repeated his previous question that he had screamed out in his lab, but in a tender tone of voice when he asked: "What do you know about love, Nardo?"

"Heh, Nardo. I haven't heard you call me that in a long time," Leo replied, letting out a single laugh. But it wasn't one of his usual light-hearted 'I'm about to wow you with one of my lame one-liners' type laugh. Instead it was an uncharacteristically bitter laugh, before he answered Donnie's question in a sour tone of voice with the words: "I already told you," as his way of saying 'back off!'

"How about you try telling me the truth this time?" Dee responded, and although his voice came out with a softness to it, there was also a firmness to his tone that told Leo he was not backing down from this subject.

So - without raising his voice but with an obviously annoyed inflection - the slider defensively snapped: "Why'd you come here, Dee?" with both of them knowing he really meant: 'why are you suddenly taking an interest in my life now after all these years?' and his tone of voice clearly conveying his strong feelings to his brother that he didn't have any right to stick his nose into his personal affairs after six years of apathy (beyond routinely trying to stick trackers to him, but that was more for his brother's safety as opposed to being emotionally invested in Leo's comings and goings).

Donnie's posture looked to be just as deflated as the turtle sitting next to him as he opened his mouth and sucked in a breath of air to reply; but instead he was cut off when a gray cat yokai (who was the owner of the restaurant/arcade) walked out from the kitchen and up to the slider from behind the counter, reaching out to gently rest his hand on top of Leo's.

Dee closed his mouth, opting to silently watch this curious interaction when the cat yokai quietly and sadly asked in a surprisingly deep voice considering his ordinary size: "Why do you keep circling back here, kid? You got a whole lot of life left to live."

Leo very briefly glanced up at the yokai he knew well before putting his eyes back down on the pizza, and in a tone of voice to match the one just spoken to him, he replied: "I told you, it's the only good pizza place in town."

Without giving a word of reply, the middle-aged cat softly patted the green turtle hand underneath his and then turned to walk away and tend to his work. But he stopped when Leo called out: "Hey Francesco?"

"Yeah?" the yokai named Francesco asked, turning his head slightly but not looking at the mutant who once dated his daughter.

"I don't blame you for what happened."

Donnie watched on with confusion as Francesco looked down uncomfortably on his hands as he fidgeted with a cloth, before replying: "I blame me." Then, after another contemplative pause he added: "You know I don't blame you for not being there. Right?"

Leo simply replied: "What you said," indicating he blamed himself for some sort of accident that apparently happened at some point - one that Leo's family had absolutely no knowledge of.

"You still coming over for dinner? Melody's making her speciality."

"Yeah."

"She put fresh sheets on the spare room bed in case you want to stay the night again."

"I'll tell her thanks when I get there," Leo replied as his way of saying yes, he would be spending the night.

With that the quiet conversation was over, Francesco walked away from what Donnie didn't know was a regular interaction between the two of them, leaving the two turtle brothers alone once more.

Donnie stared at the side of Leo's face again, not knowing where to start - which one of the many questions spiraling around inside that genius mind of his to pick first.

But he didn't have to pick any of them, because Leo spoke before him, volunteering the information he was wanting without being asked.

Nodding his head toward a framed picture on the wall of a black cat yokai who was a young adult around their age, and who had piercing black eyes - he told Donnie much more than his mere words conveyed when he softly said: "Her name was Francesca, she was named after her dad. But her nickname was Bella-Notte. It means 'beautiful night'."

Fondness mixed in with pain of heart and swirled around with sadness from a combination of the tone to Leo's voice and the way he carried himself.

He had loved her. Donnie could see it in his eyes - on his entire face - from the moment his twin brother looked up at the photo.

His heart sank in his chest as he joined Leo in gazing at the picture on the wall.

The invasion had changed all of them - but especially Leo.

They all knew he blamed himself for Raph's death on the day of the krang invasion, and he blamed himself for starting the invasion in the first place by losing the key.

They all coped in their own ways, but apparently the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Like their father had done for decades as his way of coping with the terrible tragedies he had to face throughout his life, the previously out-going, energetic, 'faceman' Leonardo took to withdrawing more and more ever since that day - leaving for lengthy periods of time to be by himself.

But none of them ever suspected he was actually living a double life.

A dozen and one emotions flashed up in Donnie's heart and mind at the thought - everything from anger and rage for being kept out of this side of his twin's life he didn't know existed, to shame and embarassment for feeling that way now that Leo was opening up to him. But in the end he settled on something that was in the middle of curiosity and sadness, so decided to shut his mouth when he was about to snap at his brother and instead continued silently staring at the side of his face - noting the way Leo's eyes sparkled as he sat back a little, admiring the photo on the wall.

The photo of someone he once had loved.

Of someone he loved and who had, at some point, died.

And he was glad he didn't say anything when a grin formed on Leo's face as he gazed at the photo of his beloved Bella-Notte from a fond memory, just before telling his brother:

"Her eyes dazzled like a starry night sky, that's how she got her nickname. They were the most . . . beautiful set of eyes I ever saw." He swallowed down a lump in his throat from the pain of heart he felt, and continued on without prompting.

"The first time I saw her she was standing there."

Donnie glanced away for a moment when Leo pointed at the cash register on the other side of the counter and continued on.

"Arguing with her dad. At first I thought 'who does she think she is, yelling at her dad like that in front of everyone!' But then she turned and looked at me. Our eyes met and I..."

Leo swallowed down another lump before his contenance fell and he suddenly was pulled out of his own inner thoughts from the realization of exactly who he was opening up his heart to.

Donnie was here, sitting beside him, and for some reason that reminder filled him with nervousness that showed in the way he curled in on himself and went back to hunching over the counter, looking down on his plate of untouched food and shutting his mouth instead of continuing his thought.

"Why didn't you tell us?" came the factual question that carried a hint of something with it, that Leo figured was a mixture of annoyance for being left out along with sadness - or maybe outright pity - directed his way.

"I wasn't trying to hide it from you."

This time Donnie sounded quite peeved when he gestured to the picture on the wall and questioned: "Oh really? You weren't trying to hide it from us!"

Leo looked up at him but never once lost the softness to his body language or the way he carried his sadness that draped across his shoulders like a brightly-colored flag as Donnie raised his voice in a fluster, demanding in a somewhat high-pitched tone:

"You just happened to fall in love with someone and, what, I can only assume you two dated - for how long?"

Leo swallowed down a nervous lump but maintained his soft composure when he looked in Donnie's eyes and replied: "Two years."

"TWO YEARS!!!?" Dee repeated in an obviously angry tone of voice now. "And you never once thought to tell us!"

Donnie was standing now, his fists clenched and breathing heavily through his scowling mouth because of the way his heart was pounding inside his turtle chest, staring Leo down and waiting for a reply.

With a dismissive shrug of one shoulder as though this whole situation was no big deal, Leo calmly replied: "It never came up."

That dismissive reply got a fiery response from Donnie, who significantly raised his voice when he forcefully repeated: "IT NEVER CAME UP!!!?"

Once again gesturing vividly to the photo on the wall - and turning a few heads their way from other patrons eating in the restaurant section of the arcade - Donnie yelled so loudly at his brother that his voice came out sounding hoarse from the sore throat he was giving to himself:

"YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL YOU DATED FOR TWO YEARS AND THEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND APPARENTLY DIIIED. BUT YOU DIDN'T ONCE TELL US BECAUSE IT 'NEVER CAME UP'!!?"

"Yeah. But she wasn't just my girlfriend - we were engaged the last three months."

"YOU WERE ENGAGED!!?"

Leo locked eyes with Donnie, never raising his voice, never tensing his body, and the two of them stared at each other for a moment before Dee came to the conclusion he would be the only one yelling - that Leo wouldn't be drawn into another one of their occasional heated arguments this time that seemed to start shortly after the world almost ended. So he relaxed his composure, dropped the scowl on his face, and the vein in his head stopped throbbing.

Then Leo shocked him once again by continuing to look straight into Donnie's eyes, telling him the blunt, honest truth when he said: "Everything changed between us after the invasion, Dee. Yeah I know we still live together even though we don't have to and we talk sometimes, but..."

He let out a heavy sigh and put his head down for a moment before resuming eye contact with his twin brother, leaning his face in a little closer to tell him with firmness to his otherwise soft voice: "Pops blames me for Raph's death. He told me in the heat of anger one night about a month after the invasion, when we were arguing." Hunching his back and casting his eyes down now, he lowered his voice and continued: "He apologized almost right away and tried to take it back, but you can't take something like that back. Once it came out in the open I..."

He changed his mind on what he wanted to say mid sentence, cleared his throat, and continued.

"He wouldn't have said it if he didn't feel it. We have't gotten along since. He avoids me and I've been avoiding him - I can't look him in the eyes anymore. That's why I don't hang around home much. That and . . . well I know you blame me, too."

Donnie opened his mouth to object, but then closed it again without saying a word.

Leo sat back a little, grabbed his glass of pop as an excuse to look away from his brother, stared down on the fizzy contents, and added: "You don't have to tell me. I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. Just like I see the love in your eyes every time we fight the Purple Dragons and you look at Kendra."

This time it was Donnie who completely deflated. His arms dropped down and he stood stooped over ever so slightly, opening and closing his bottom lip as though he was stammering over nonexistent words that didn't seem to want to reach past his throat.

Leo was right.

As much as he wanted to deny it to himself, deep down there was a part of Donnie that did blame him for their big brother's tragic death.

Then, resting a hand on the counter, he plopped his turtle bum back down on the stool beside his brother - not confirming Leo's accusation, but not denying it, either.

Leo drank a mouthful of pop before reaching down for the slice of pizza, and this time he brought it up to his mouth to take a bite - but moreso to fill his mouth up with food so he had an excuse not to fill the uncomfortable silence following his truthful statement with more words.

Dance music thrummed in the background, yokai came and went from the cash register on the end of the counter where they ordered slices to go, customers were served, pizzas were sent out, dirty dishes were sent back, arcade machines dinged and whirled and popped and jived behind them with little jingles to attract attention, the chatter of friends and patrons filled the air, waitresses came and went . . .

and Francesco walked back and forth from the till to the back room where the pizzas were made, but didn't in any way interact with the two turtles who sat next to each other for the next three quarters of an hour in a tense silence. One that the dad of Leo's previous girlfriend fiancé knew it would be best not to interrupt.

Eventually, after both of them were deep in contemplative thought, Donnie let out a big sigh, slouched with his shoulders slumped, and sucked in a breath of air before saying:

"I don't blame you, Leo."

"You don't blame me, but you blame me," Leonardo blandly and immediately responded without a second's hesitation, staring blankly ahead at the arcade prizes lining the shelves behind the counter where they were sitting.

"Yeah," Donnie softly admitted, kind of understand his twin brother's thinking.

"It's the same thing," Leo bluntly told him.

"No it's not," Donnie firmly countered, gritting his teeth a little.

"Heh, it's literally the same word," Leo commented - trying to deflect with a little humor to his tone of voice.

"That doesn't mean it's the same thing!" Dee 'explained'.

"Now who doesn't know what he's talking about?" Leo replied in a somewhat light-hearted tone that still managed to betray his heart ache.

Raising his hands from frustration in a motion like he wanted to strangle his twin brother, Donnie crossly responded: "I know you know that I know what you mean!"

This time Leo slumped his shoulders a little, quietly responding: "Yeah," before taking another sip of his pop.

There was another brief moment of silence before the blue-clad turtle let out the impactful statement: "It is my fault he died."

"You might be partly to blame for him getting mutated but it's not your fault the krang made him..."

"And it's my fault she died."

He nodded once more in the direction of the photo of the yokai he apparently once loved, before downing the rest of his pop and rising as he pushed the plate containing his lonely pizza slice across the counter, nodding up at the owner of this establishment as a way of saying 'see you later' to lett him know he was done and not just walking away for a bathroom break or to play in the arcade with plans of coming back to finish it later (like he was prone to do because he came here frequently and stayed for hours at a time).

Donnie rose as well and stayed beside Leo as he walked toward the machines and took out some yokai coins from his belt pouch to jingle them around in his hand.

"What do you mean it's your fault?" Dee softly asked him, trying to glean information as tactfully as possible and keeping his eyes on his bother as Leo causally glanced at the screens of each arcade game he passed - walking toward one in particular.

Leo didn't say anything, instead he continued walking on in silence until they arrived at a ninja fighting game. Once there he put a coin in and stuffed another one in Donnie's hand - indicating he wanted his brother to stay and play a game with him.

At first Dee looked down at the shiny coin his brother gave him with a frown as Leo went through the selection screen, unsure if he should stay after that frank admittance that he did - in some ways - blame his only twin for what happened to Raph. But all it took was his brother briefly glancing at him from the corner of his eye - looking all hopeful that Dee would stay - to make up his mind. So he slipped the coin into a second payment slot and Leo's tense shoulders relaxed and fell a little as he picked out his character.

Unsurprisingly Leo chose a fighter who used a katana and Donnie chose one with a bō.

For the first few minutes there was only the sound of background noise and buttons clicking as the two turtles fought each other in game.

It took about three rounds of fighting and another two coins added to the slots before either one of them spoke, with Donnie being the first one to break the uncomfortable silence this time, with the two simple words:

"What happened?"

Leo clicked at his buttons, keeping his eyes laser-focused on the screen in front of him as he carefully contemplated his next response and how much information he was willing to share.

"She fought in the Battle Nexus," were the only words that needed to be spoken.

They fought each other in game. Two more coins were added to the machine, three more rounds were restarted and the same characters were once again selected.

But there was much more to Leo's story that needed to be told, so he eventually opened up some more.

"Her dad wanted her to stop - that's what they were arguing about when I first met her," he told Donnie, both of then never once taking their eyes off the screen or slowing down with the button mashing.

"But she enjoyed the thrill and the fame. Plus the money's good for champs like her."

Another round down. Leo won yet again.

"At first it wasn't a big deal. I tried to convince myself I wouldn't get too attached, that I was only dating her for a distraction from everything else."

Leo won another round. There was one more left before two more coins had to be reinserted.

"But eventually I started to see things her dad's way. I didn't want to lose her. So I tried talking her out of going back. But she was just as stubborn as I can be when I want to."

Donnie won the next round.

Leo - being the only one of them who brought yokai coins - took out two more from his pouch and handed one out to Donnie without looking at his brother.

His twin accepted it without looking at him.

Two more coins were put in.

Three more rounds were started.

"It took me a year before she agreed that fighting in the Nexus was no good for her in the long run, but she had to keep going for a few more months to fulfill her contract with Big Mama - because no one backs out of a deal with Big Mama and gets away with it. So her dad made a pact with me. I would sit in and watch every one of her fights - use my rad mystic powers to help her if it ever looked like she wasn't coming out on top - and he would lay off, let her finish her contract without all the arguing. . . . And he wanted to give me free pizza in return. Not that I was doing it for the pizza, but you get the point."

An uncomfortable silence filled the space between them as Donnie and Leo continued clicking buttons and fighting their characters on screen - with Don's tension growing in tandem with Leo's as he visibly tensed his body more and more with each passing moment.

Leo won, a new round was started.

"Big Mama was not happy her champ refused to sign a new contract and I knew she was going to get back at her, so I made certain never to miss a fight."

They fought in silence.

Donnie won a round for a change.

Another fight started and Leo finished his sentence:

"Until I did."

Leo paused in his speech again. Biting his bottom lip he quietly thought over that day, until Dee asked him: "Why did you miss the fight?" his hesitant voice coming out so quietly he wasn't sure if Leo heard him over the dinging of the busy arcades and buzz of the crowds all around them.

Speaking with an angry tension to his voice and running his words together a bit from his somewhat rapid rate of speech, Leo indicated he did hear what his brother asked him by saying:

"Do you remember that night last year when Mikey wouldn't listen to us and snuck away to try and destroy the krang key in a mystic incinerator, but it didn't work and then that Rampaging Rhino gang stole it from him and he went after them alone so we wouldn't find out, so they hit him with a sleeper spell and turtle-napped him, and then you were alerted to weird readings from his tracker and we were sent on a wild goose chase all over the city trying to get him and the key back? And then I reemed into Mikey for what he did and you guys barely saw me for the next three months?"

Donnie wanted to reply but instead he cleared his throat from the sudden tension held in it at the realization that was the day Leo's fiancé died.

So he cleared his throat a second time and tried again, only getting out the word: "Yeah." But with a crackle to his voice because his throat was still tense.

He remembered Leo was exceptionally angry (furious even) - that day, even moreso than Donnie thought reasonable considering the seriousness of that whole situation with their turtle-napped brother and the indestructible key they almost lost (again) that could have turned out really, really bad.

"Big Mama must've known I wasn't there to help her and she used the opportunity to rig the fight."

The dinging from their arcade machine and grunts of two ninja characters fighting on-screen filled the silence between them once more.

Not another word was spoken.

Leo won the final round.

The game ended and the title screen flicked on but he didn't take out anymore coins. Instead he stared blankly at the screen - hanging his head a little with his hands dropping to his sides as Donnie stared at the side of his blue-masked face.

They stayed like that for . . . well neither one of them really knew how long. It wasn't until a short, young pastel pink and white panda yokai who had been standing behind them for some time - waiting for her turn to play the game - broke Leo out of his trance-like state by snapping: "Are you two gonna play again or not?"

Instead of leaving or in any way replying, with a growl of anger Leo drew back and punched the arcade screen - intentionally being careful not to cause any damage to Francesco's equipment but unintentionally spooking the panda enough that she abruptly tucked tail and left.

(Not that he cared, he barely even registered she had been there)

Then, in a cold, quiet, spiteful voice Leo told his brother: "I was gonna kill that spider but Francesco talked me out of it. Said scum like her isn't worth getting blood on my hands, that I shouldn't stoop to her level and I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I let her turn me into a murderer. And I suppose he's right, but..."

Leo abruptly stopped mid sentence and glared at the arcade screen, fists clenched tightly and looking like he was about ready to either curse and scream, break everything in sight, take off to exact revenge...

...or perhaps burst into tears.

With a hatred to his tense voice that wasn't there before, Leo told his brother: "I can't say there aren't days I don't think about portalling into her office and giving her a taste of her own medicine."

Then, just like that, without warning the heartbroken slider abruptly decided he was done with this conversation - that he needed some alone time to cool down before he actually did do something he'd later regret. So a bright blue portal opened up directly in between him and Dee so his twin didn't have an opportunity to try and reach out to stop him.

Then, as quickly as it appeared, the portal snapped shut with his brother already on the other side before Donnie even had time to finish crying out: "WAIT!" and he was left alone in the crowded arcade, not sure where to go from here beyond knowing this conversation was not over by a long shot.

Chapter 3: Better to Have Loved and Lost...

"I wouldn't change things, Donnie. If I went back in time knowing she was gonna die in two years - that I'd haveta live the rest of my life missing her - I would've dated her all over again... If you love Kendra, you should tell her."

Chapter Text

Leo was gone for a full night and the better part of an entire day before he finally returned home late the next evening, whistling to himself as though he didn't have a care in the world and heading to the kitchen - where he cheerfully greeted his oblivious little brother who was sitting at the table, eating some leftover lasagna with red pasta sauce lining the corners of his mouth.

Leo walked past Mikey up to the fridge and opened the door to stick his head in, trying to find something to eat. Then, after swallowing his monster-sized mouthful of supper, Mikey turned his head around to face his brother, asking: "Were you out all night again?"

Tapping his finger on top of the fridge door to a rhythmic tune that was stuck in his head, Leo scanned his eyes around - hoping for something to catch his eye - and casually replied: "Uhhh yeah, something like that."

"Really Leo?" Mikester blandly questioned, raising one brow skeptically and insisting: "Either you were out all night or you weren't."

"I guess I was then," his red-eared slider brother replied in a nonchalant tone, making up his mind and reaching into the fridge to take out what was left of the chocolate cake his little brother baked two days prior, to eat that for supper.

"Where do you even go?" Mikey questioned, with Leo merely offering the vague reply: "Around."

He laid the cake on the counter before reaching in for the milk, and Mikey decided to drop the subject and took another big bite of his food - but only because he knew from past experience that questioning Leo more would only result in them spinning around and around in circles without end and without getting a straight answer out of him first or last.

Besides, they were adults now so Leo didn't have to answer to anyone, and there had been a tension between the two of them for a while now (that Mikey couldn't wrap his mind around - not knowing why). So-much-so that the youngest of the family walked on eggshells around Leo because he was afraid if he pushed his buttons too much his brother would up and move out.

They already lost Raph and although things were often tense at home since the invasion they were all still together and he didn't want to lose another brother.

When Leo spun around to close the fridge door with the milk in hand he saw Donnie was standing in the entryway now, staring at him with one of his big eyebrows raised and tapping his foot on the floor as though he was waiting for his twin to start a potentially serious conversation.

But his brother who was an expert at hiding behind a facade of smiles and humor greeted his twin with a big grin plastered across his face and a pleasant: "Hey bro, wanna split the last piece of cake?"

Predictably Donnie's serious tone of voice did not reflect any sort of light-hearted jesting when he replied: "What I want is to continue the conversation you rudely portalled away from yesterday."

Huffing out a single laugh and looking up at him with that grin on his face growing, Leo acted like he genuinely didn't know what Donnie was talking about with the casual words: "What'rya talking about bro?"

Dee saw when Leo quickly flashed his eyes down to look at their younger brother who was chowing down on his delicious meal, and although he knew that was his way of saying 'not in front of Mikey!' he was in no mood for games right now so instead clenched his fists and yelled with an angry scowl on his face:

"I mean the conversation we had about..." "O-kay! Yeesh, drop the attitude would you? If I knew you'd get that mad over getting skunked in that arcade game I would've gone a little easier on you."

Leo casually rested a hand on his hip and playfully rolled his eyes with Mikey chewing his latest mouthful of food and innocently looking up at his brothers who were prone to arguing over trivial matters from time to time (ever since the day they lost their eldest, Raphael).

Mikey didn't question anything that was happening around him, instead he simply picked up a paper towel to wipe the sauce off the corners of his mouth, watching as Leo led the way to Donnie's lab - leaving the cake and milk abandoned on the counter. Then, when he managed to swallow his mouthful of lasagna he called out to his blue-clad bro: "I want the next game, Leo!"

Leo indicated he heard him by waving back at him without turning around, and then he and Donnie disappeared around the corner, heading to his twin's soundproofed lab, where they could talk in private.

By the time they got there Donnie's anger had mounted to the point that Leo saw the vein in his forehead was throbbing when he spun around to glare at him as his blue-clad brother shut and locked the door behind them.

But Leo's composure was totally different with the way he casually rested a hand on his hip and smiled at his clearly angry bro, asking: "What's up?" in an overly casual tone of voice as though he actually didn't know what this was all about.

"What's up!? 'What's UP' he asks!!!" Donnie practically growled out at him. Then, thrusting an angry finger at his brother, Dee demanded: "What's 'up' is that you told me you were ENGAGED to a GIRL you DATED for TWO YEARS who DIED NINE MONTHS ago and never ONCE told us about her until YESTERDAY but that was only because I CORNERED you at that ARCADE!!!"

Blowing raspberries with a playful roll of his eyes Leo deflected by casually objecting: "Pfft! We weren't at the arcade brainiach, you found me in the pizza place inside the arcade, and you didn't corner me..." he crossed his arms loosely, gave his brother a smug grin, and finished with: "In case you forgot I was sitting at the middle of the counter, not in the corner, bro."

Donnie's eye twitched and his upper lip lifted up into such a big scowl it showed off his pearly whites.

"You. know. that's. NOT. what. I. meant!" he sharply countered, clearly enuciating every word.

With another playful roll of his eyes Leo tried deflecting again by mumbling: "Whatever Dee," and turning around with the clear intention of leaving both this room and the conversation behind.

"Wait."

Although already gripping the handle to Donnie's lab door, Leo stopped himself from opening it because of the unexpected pleading tone coming out of his brother's previously angry voice.

They stood there in silence, Leo keeping his hand on the door handle and Donnie staring at the back of his blue-masked head, neither one saying a word - Donnie afraid he would push his brother away even more if he said the wrong thing and Leo deep in thought, deciding if he really wanted to have this conversation or if he would prefer to portal away to the Bahamas for the next month or so until this whole thing blew over.

In the end he decided there was no point in trying to run from it because no matter how long he was gone Donnie would be right here, awaiting his return so they could pick up where they left off. So he let his hand fall off the handle, and dropped his shoulders from the overwhelming sadness infiltrating his heart.

That sadness showed through in his tone of voice - along with an annoyed inflection - when he asked his brother:

"What do you want from me, Dee? It's over, she's gone. Talking about it won't bring her back."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Donnie inquired, repeating the question he asked of his brother at the arcade, but speaking even more softly than the heart-broken turtle who wouldn't turn around to look at him.

"You never gave me a reason to want to tell you," Leo replied in all honesty.

The silence resumed, this time with Dee thinking deeply over his interactions with his twin brother over the past five years and coming to the conclusion he was right. He hadn't exactly been someone Leo could open up to ever since the day of the invasion when they lost the glue that bonded their family - their figurative rock that strengthened their brotherly relationships - their protective big brother who pulled them together through any trial, no matter how severe - Raphael.

"So what were you planning? To just marry her, move out, and hope we never noticed?" Donnie next questioned, really struggling to understand his brother's line of reasoning that made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever.

Gently bouncing his slumped shoulders once from a singular bitter laugh he let out, Leo replied quietly but with a hint of attitude: "No, of course not," as though the answer was obvious and that had been a ridiculous question to ask.

Afraid of pushing his twin away like he had been doing without conscious thought for the past five years, Donnie chose his words carefully - reciting the question in his head before very tenderly and softly asking out loud:

"Well then what were you planning?"

"I was gonna tell you," Leo immediately replied without a second's hesitation. "Before the wedding," he quickly tacked on before Donnie's lips finished parting from the question he was going to ask but was now already answered.

Donnie sucked in a sharp breath through his mouth.

Leo flopped his arms down, threw his head back, and groaned loud and long with an annoyed eye roll before letting out the whiny, exasperated words:

"Uuughhh, yeeeeesss! I was gonna invite you to the wedding, too!"

"But?" Donnie questioned, satisfied with Leo's answer to his second unasked question.

. . .

Leo straightened up and stuck his hand into his belt pouch to fiddle with the yokai coins inside, shutting his mouth and thinking over how he wanted to word this.

Donnie waited patiently - never taking his eyes off the back of his brother's head - until Leo was ready to speak again, and told him:

"Buuut, I guess . . . I . . . didn't want..."

He took his hand out of his money pouch to hold it up to his mouth when he cleared his throat. Then he put it down by his side like the other one, with the only indication that he was mentally holding tension in his relaxed body showing through in the way his tiny green turtle tail flicked around in jerky motions behind his back.

Donnie continued waiting patiently, with Leo wishing he would interrupt or say something - anything - to give him an excuse to turn tail and split from this conversation mystic portal style. But when no such thing happened he eventually cleared his throat again and told his only twin brother in the world:

"I wanted to keep my two lives separate for as long as possible."

"Whhhhy?" came the confused - almost whiny - reply.

Leo just shrugged, clearing his throat again, but this time it was because of the tension he was holding there from trying hard to fight back the tears evoked from the memory of losing the person he was deeply in love with.

Despite shrugging at Donnie's question, Leo indicated he actually did have a reason for keeping his home life far apart from the double life he had been living in the Hidden City when he volunteered the information:

"My life is a mess, Dee, but there . . ." He swallowed a lump in his throat, a single tear escaped his eyes, and his bottom lip trembled ever so slightly when he opened his mouth to continue.

"When I was with her, oh everything felt right. Her friends like me, her parents like me - I get along with her whole family even her crusty old uncle who doesn't like anybody. I felt like I finally had a place where I belonged again, and I guess. I was afraid. of *ahem* . . . ruining that."

"But you're our brother Leo! This is your home! You belong here with us!" Donnie tried to object, gritting his teeth after the words came out of his mouth from the realization that over the past six years Leo hadn't been treated like he was a genuine part of their once close-knit family by anyone other than Mikey - who the slider had pulled away from ever since the night he had been turtle-napped, with none of them knowing until now that the real reason he did so was because he held a grudge against his little brother for his foolish decision that inadvertently played a part in the death of his beloved Bella-Notte.

"Do I?" came the calm yet firm rebuttal.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room once more, Donnie didn't know how to answer and Leo felt like he was done with this conversation (at least for now); so he put his hand back on the door handle, and without turning around gave a point of advice before leaving.

"I don't regret being with her - I wouldn't change things, Donnie. If I went back in time knowing she was gonna die in two years - that I'd haveta live the rest of my life missing her - I would've dated her all over again. Heh," his shoulders bounced slightly for the second time since this conversation started from the nervous laugh he let out, and as a side note he added: "If I could go back in time I would've stop what happened so I didn't lose her, but still, you know what I mean."

Then, turning his head just a little to catch a partial glimpse of Donnie from the corner of his eye, he told him the impactful words:

"If you love Kendra, you should tell her. I promise you, no matter what happens after that point you won't regret saying those three words. What's the worst she can do? Tell you to get lost? Laugh in your face? Try to kick you butt or sic her tech on you? At least you'll know how she feels. It's better than taking that to your grave bro. And maybe one day she'll be with someone else and you'll have missed your chance. Then what? Do you honestly believe you won't spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if' and regretting it if you didn't speak up when you had the chance?"

"Leo..."

"Then again it's your life, do whatever you want. After all, what do I know about love? I'm just a dumb turtle who lives in the sewers," Leo interrupted in a deflated voice with a little bit of a sarcastic tone thrown in at the end of his rhetorical question.

The door swung opened and he swiftly left, not bothering to close it behind him and going to his room for a place to be alone that didn't take him far away from the family he still had - the family he still loved and wanted to be close to despite everything that happened over the years; with Dee stretching a hand out toward him and opening his mouth but opting in the end not to try and stop him.

They could talk about this more in the future, perhaps even work at trying to repair their frayed bonds together.

But not now.

Now Leo needed his space and he had a lot to think about, too.

So he just stood there, staring at the partly open door where his brother had been standing no more than thirty seconds prior...

...his brother who he had no idea had loved and lost...

...his brother who professed it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

And now he knew what he had to do.

~Two Days Later~

"Othello von Ryan," came a sour-sounding, feminine voice.

A dark figure stepped out from the shadows of a taller building beside the one Kendra was atop on this cool autumn night.

Unthreateningly holding his bō upright with the butt end of it resting on the rooftop, he looked at the back of her head as she sat on the edge, her legs dangling over the sidewalk far below, and he silky hair blowing in the wind.

Resting a hand on the ledge and turning her head around to look at him with a glint to her eyes and a smirk on her face, she calmly stated:

"I'm not here to rob the place."

"I know."

Kendra let out a condescending laugh, looked him up and down, and stood to face him - sticking her hands in the pockets of her Purple Dragons jacket because of the cool wind that kept brushing past, and questioning: "Where are your brothers? Don't you always go on patrol together?"

"I'm not on patrol and I came alone," Donnie told her, his eyes twinkling at the sight of the one he loved despite the fact that she was a convicted criminal from her youth on - and her fully dilated eyes likewise catching the city lights and adding to the overall beauty of her appearance because of they way they twinkled when she looked at him.

But maybe Leo was right - maybe she was stuck and did want to get out of that life.

Maybe he could be the one to be by her side, helping her along the way (if she wanted).

There was only one way to find out.

With a shrug of one shoulder and shivering a little from the cold bite to the autumn air, Kendra parted her lips and asked:

"Why are you here?"

Twirling his bō before sheathing it on his back, he stepped ahead a little closer to her, and replied with a tender inflection to his tone when he told her the words:

"Can we talk? There's something important I need to tell you."