Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Jackie Taylor has created a group chat 

Jackie Taylor has added Shauna Shipman, Natalie Scattorcio, Charlotte Matthews, Taissa Turner, Vanessa Palmer, Misty Quigley, Marisol Ibarra, Laura Lee, Allie, Rachel Goldman, Melissa Hat, Gen, Akilah, Crystal

Jackie Taylor changed the group name 

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝 

Jackie Taylor: Hey team! I’ve decided since i’ve finally got the JV girls numbers we can start having updates and all other fun stuff in here! 

Jackie Taylor: oh wait

Jackie Taylor has removed Allie

Natalie Scattorcio has left the group 

Jackie Taylor has added Natalie Scattorcio to the group

Natalie Scattorcio has left the group 

Jackie Taylor has added Natalie Scattorcio to the group

Natalie Scattorcio has left the group 

Jackie Taylor has added Natalie Scattorcio to the group

Natalie Scattorcio has left the group 

Jackie Taylor has added Natalie Scattorcio to the group

Natalie Scattorcio has left the group 

Jackie Taylor has added Natalie Scattorcio to the group

Natalie Scattorcio: LET ME LEAVE FUCK 

Jackie Taylor: No! 

Natalie Scattorcio: Why did Allie get to leave but not me 

Jackie Taylor: Allie didn’t leave i kicked her Because Allie literally can’t play soccer anymore, No reason for her to be here 

Natalie Scattorcio: I want to leave.

Charlotte Matthews: Nat it’s fine 

Natalie Scattorcio: Okay

Natalie Scattorcio: Yay 💗

Vanessa Palmer: what is up with these gay bitches 😹

Vanessa Palmer: AND WHY IS MY LEGAL NAME ON HERE WHAT THE FUCK

Vanessa Palmer has changed 14 nicknames

Writers Block: Okay really? 

Background noise: HAHAHA

Background noise: oh 

Senorita Alpha: Van

Batvan Mobile: Yes

Senorita Alpha : Why is mine this 

Batvan Mobile: Because you are our Captain meaning our Alpha and the only class we have tg is spanish so 

Senorita Alpha: oh touché

Queer Kamala: What the actual fuck Van

Batvan Mobile: Someone called you that after walking by your presidential poster 

Third Eye Open: oh well hello 

Batvan Mobile: Am I…wrong?

Background Noise: can we spin back to my username? 

Batvan Mobile: No 💜

Senorita Alpha: Who is beetle fart 

Beetle Fart: VAN WHAT THE FUCK 

Batvan Mobile: It’s Melissa! 

Gen-ius: Wait i love mine 

Beetle Fart: I DONT LIKE MINE VAN PLEASE

Snow White: AYYYYY LETS GOO 

Golderwall: Is this because I like wonderwall

Batvan Mobile: And because your last name is Goldman 

Lady Hamilton: I love mine!!!

Autistic & Lesbian: This is only half correct and you guys will never know which it is 

Batvan Mobile:  Lesbian 

third eye open: Lesbian 

Writer's block: its Lesbian 

Background noise: Lesbo 

Beetle fart: Lesbian 

Gen-ius: Lesbian 

Snow white: Lesbian 

Lady Hamilton: Lesbian 

Queer Kamala: Lesbian 

Golderwall: Lesbian 

Senorita Alpha: Lesbian 

Double O Quigley: Lesbian 

Headband Fein: Lesbian

Headband Fein: and okay mine is accurate!

Autistic & Lesbian: Ihy all

Background Noise: can you please change mine 😕

Batvan mobile: Fine. 

Batvan Mobile changed one name 

Yellow-Jacket: this isn’t even creative 

Batvan Mobile: Yes it is, because you’re always wearing the stupid smelly yellow jacket 

Yellow-Jacket: Van i want mine to be silly 

Batvan Mobile: ugh fucking fine 

Batvan mobile changed One name

Batvan Mobile: Better?

Perezhiltonreborn: Yes

beetle fart: IF WERE CHANGING NAMES PLS CHANGE MINE VAN PLS 

batvan mobile: WHAT NO ITS SO GOOD 

beetle fart: i am never inviting you over again 

batvan mobile: then who will you hang out with

writer's block: hello? 

batvan mobile: that doesn’t count you guys are dating 

beetle fart: at least she wouldn’t call me beetle fart 

writer's block: don’t lie beetle fart you know i would

beetle fart: i’m never inviting anyone over again 

beetle fart has left the group

Bat Van mobile: Aw beetle fart :(

Autistic & Lesbian: great if she can leave can I too

Senorita Alpha: No because i’m adding her back 

Senorita Alpha has added Melissa

Melissa: Yay no more beetle fart! 

Batvan mobile has changed one name

BatVan mobile: Welcome back beetle fart 

Beetle fart: Damnit

Senorita Alpha: great can we stop bullying our teammates 

perezhiltonreborn: sure anything for you my love 

perezhiltonreborn: what the hell…

beetle fart: what the hell is up with this gay shit Mari

perezhiltonreborn: shut up beetle fart 

Writer's block kicked Perezhiltonreborn 

Snow white: Um hello?!

Senorita Alpha: why did you do that Shauna

Writer's block: she told Melissa to shut up 

headband fein: Well in mari’s defense, melissa called her gay, we don’t even know if Mari is happy! 

Queer Kamala:….Laura Lee?

Headband Fein: Yeah? 

Queer Kamala: do you think gay means…happy? 

Headband Fein: Does it not? 

Batvan Mobile: No it’s basically what me and tai are 

Writer's block: and what me and Mel are 

Third eye open: and what me and Natalie will be

Autistic & Lesbian: uh what?

third eye open: shhhhhh 

Headband Fein: Does it mean dating? 

Batvan Mobile: It means liking the same sex

Headband Fein: I thought that was Queer and Lesbian

Batvan mobile: There is more than one so those count too 

Headband Fein: I’m still gonna use it in the definition of happy! Thank you anyway Van!

Batvan Mobile: Oh

Batvan Mobile: Okay.

Senorita Alpha has added Mari Ibarra

Batvan Mobile has changed one name 

Writer’s block: Mari. 

Perezhiltonreborn: Yes

Writer’s Block: Apologize to Mel. 

Perezhiltonreborn: oh..Sorry?

Beetle fart: thank you mar 

Writers block: THAT WASN'T GENUINE ENOUGH

beetle fart: Baby it’s fine 

Writers Block: No, apologize very genuinely please Mari 

perezhiltonreborn: FUCKING FINE 

perezhiltonreborn:I’m very sorry Melissa….

perezhiltonreborn: Huh

perezhiltonreborn: what is Melissa’s last name?

Batvan Mobile: Woah….ive….never thought of that

Senorita Alpha: Wait, I know this! 

senorita alpha:….

Senorita Alpha: Why don’t I have Melissa’s last name in my phone, it’s just “Melissa Hat” 

Beetle fart: Oh okay cool so i’ve only ever been Melissa Hat to you guys

Writers block: I know it

writers block: I know this….

Writers Block: Holy shit 

Gen-ius: unlike you fake bitches i know it

Gen-ius: Uh oh 

Gen-ius: MELISSA WHY HAVE YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOUR LAST NAME

Writers Block: OR ME WHAT

Batvan mobile: or me :( 

Senorita Alpha: IT'S NOT IN MY COACH NOTES EITHER 

Snow White: I don’t think she’s ever mentioned her last name 

Golderwall: Yeah she never mentioned it during JV

Autistic & Lesbian: We had a class together last year, and there was a sub… but before she could get to the last name Melissa shouted here…very awkwardly it was actually Funny as Fuck 

Batvan Mobile: Why do you have to be so fucking awkward mel?

Headband Fein: Maybe if we ask her nicely she’ll tell us!

Senorita Alpha: Melissa! :) If you don’t mind me  asking, what’s your last name?

Beetle Fart: Fuck you all i’ve told many people including every single one of you my last name, so i’m not telling you until you get it 

Batvan mobile: @doubleoquigly what is Melissa’s last name?

Writers block: @doubleoquigly 

Headband Fein: @doubleoquigly

Autistic & Lesbian: @doubleoquigly

Senorita Alpha: @doubleoquigly

Golderwall: @doubleoquigly

Snow White: @doubleoquigly

Gen-ius: @doubleoquigly

Queer Kamala: @doubleoquigly

perezhiltonreborn: @doubleoquigly

Third eye open: @doubleoquigly

Writers block: there is no way Misty is doing anything better right now 

Queer Kamala: I’m kind of ashamed of you Shauna 

Writers Block: What?!

Batvan Mobile: Lowkey yeah is she not your gf… of two years

Writers Block: STOP PLEASE I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY DO NOT DO THIS. 

Beetle Fart: it’s okay shauna! 

Writers Block: IM GONNA GO CRY FUCK ALL OF YOU 

Writers block left 

Beetle fart: guys what the heck :(

Gen-ius: Where is crystal? 

Queer Kamala: Why?

Gen-ius: well if we think Crystal is probably with Misty 

Snow white: You’re so smart Gen! @LadyHamilton

Batvan Mobile: Maybe they’ve gone gay and are kissing without their phones on

Headband Fein: Or they’ve gone straight and are crying 

Batvan Mobile: boi 

Senorita Alpha: omg can she just come to the chat 

Senorita Alpha:  @LadyHamilton

Lady Hamilton: Yes?

Gen-ius: FINALLY.

Batvan Mobile: WHERE IS MISTY 

Lady Hamilton: Right next to me? 

Queer Kamala: Where is her phone? 

Lady Hamilton: Also right next to me?

GolderWall: CRYSTAL TELL HER TO CHECK HER FUCKING PHONE 

Queer Kamala: Woah

Gen-ius: What was that rachel? 

Snow white: Like that genuinely scared me

Senorita Alpha: Could use that energy on the field you know 

 Golderwall:Sorry I don’t know where that came from

Reply to: Could use that…

Golderwall: Also Ouch?

Batvan Mobile: maybe Lots third eye can see Melissa’s last name 

Autistic & Lesbian: Don’t encourage her third eye 

reply to:maybe lots third….

Third eye open: no pun intended hahaha! 😂 

Third eye open: get it because my name is third eye open

Batvan mobile: i got it

third eye open: oh okay

third eye open: anyway i already tried to find out her last name nothing came up 

doubleoquigley: Hello! =] 

Gen-ius: quigley.

doubleoquigley: Yes?

Batvan mobile: do you by chance have our last names anywhere

golderwall: specifically a certain hat wearing lesbian 

Beetle fart: okay you know my first name fucking use it 

golderwall: you’re right, her name is beetle? 

reply to: do you by chance have….

doubleoquigley: I do! required for the manager!

doubleoquigley: I’ll go pull it up! 

Batvan Mobile: I don’t say this often, Thank you Misty. 

doubleoquigley: you’re…welcome?

Queer Kamala: I’m sorry for not knowing your last name Melissa. 

Snow White: Yeah we have been friends for like two years i should know. 

Beetle Fart: it’s okay it happens 

Gen-ius: then why did you private text me and say you’re mad at me 

Beetle fart: because you’ve known me and my family for the past 11 years bitch 

Beetle fart: you went to my brothers wedding

Gen-ius: SHAUNA DOESN'T KNOW IT AND SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Beetle fart: well i can never be mad at her, the only reason every one knows her last name is because Jackie goes around shouting it everywhere 

Senorita Alpha: I do? 

Batvan mobile: Boi

Batvan mobile: where is quigley 

doubleoquigley:here! i’ve got the book! 

Queer Kamala: Alright let’s hear it

doubleoquigley: Taylor J. Turner T. Palmer V. Shipman S. Ibarra M. Scattorcio N. Matthews C. Goldman R. Whitmore L.L. Reyes B. Ramirez R. Perez G. St Clair K. Johnson A. N/A M. 

Senorita Alpha: that just reminded me 

Senorita Alpha has added Robin, Brittney. 

Senorita Alpha: Sorry for not adding you guys i’m so sorry 

Batvan Mobile changed two names 

Sleepeatcryrepeat: it’s all good

Onewordwonder: Oh 

Batvan Mobile: see yours is really accurate

Gen-ius: pause who’s the K? 

Autistic & Lesbian: we don’t have anyone with the first name K? 

Queer Kamala: we haven’t for a while too 

Senorita Alpha: guys what the hell

Autistic & Lesbian: what

Golderwall: it’s kristen you guys.

perezhiltonreborn: uh who?

third eye open: is that like Misty’s other personality 

Senorita Alpha: well in a way yeah, it’s crystal, her real name is kristen 

Autistic & Lesbian: how the fuck did you do that lot 

Snow White: Literal Witch what 

Third eye open: thanks i try

Queer Kamala: i’m sorry we haven’t been calling you the right name @ladyhamilton

Lady Hamilton: it’s okay! i like crystal the pistol!

Batvan Mobile: QUIGLEY MELISSAS ISNT EVEN THERE DUDE.

doubleoquigley: Melissa’s isn’t there?!

doubleoquigley: MELISSA

Batvan Mobile: DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LAST NAME

Gen-ius: I don’t think so 

Queer Kamala: has she ever told anyone it 

Gen-ius: Obviously not….

Beetle Fart: what the fuck I have????? It was in the christmas card my family sent to uh idk ALL OF YOU LAST YEAR???

Autistic & Lesbian: I kind of just skimmed through that… you were less important to me last year 

Beetle Fart: Fuck you the fuck 

Senorita Alpha : I HUNG THAT UP ON MY WALL! IT WAS REALLY CUTE 

Beetle Fart: you told shauna you hung it up and covered everyone else’s face but Nathan’s? 

Senorita Alpha: Irrelevant

Senorita Alpha: I HAVE THE CARD I'M GONNA GO SEE THE LAST NAME 

Batvan Mobile: oh my palms are sweaty 

perezhiltonreborn: weak arms are heavy! 

doubleoquigley: Mom Spaghetti?!

Batvan Mobile: who knew Quigley knew rap 

Lady Hamilton: I did!

Queer Kamala: Okay Jackie hurry up dude they’re going silly 

reply to: What the fuck i….

Autistic & Lesbian: my dog ate this card lol 

Third eye open: You don’t have a dog? 

Autistic & Lesbian: Obviously not anymore…

Third Eye open: Oh….

headband fein: Rest in Peace 🙏

Batvan Mobile: Pieces* 

Third eye open: WHAT 😭

Autistic & Lesbian: I had to get my dog cremated 

Autistic & Lesbian: she just put it into very bad words 

Batvan Mobile: No, I said it how it was supposed to be said?

Golderwall: JACKIE HURRY UP 

Senorita Alpha: are you fucking kidding me 

Gen-ius: WHAT? 

Senorita Alpha: the part with her last name was ripped off. 

Batvan Mobile: WHAT ARE YOU JOKING 

Gen-ius: I’m going to your house Melissa 

Beetle Fart: pardon?

Gen-ius: I’m going to ask your mom 

Beetle fart: my parents are on vacation thanks 

Beetle fart: Which i told you last week 

Gen-ius: Oh.

Batvan Mobile: Even I knew that? 

Beetle Fart: Can we add Shauna back @senoritaalpha she wants back in 

Senorita Alpha: If you tell us your last name 

Beetle fart: seriously? 

Beetle fart: Fine

Beetle fart: it’s Brewer my name is Melissa Brewer

Senorita Alpha: WHAT? I HAD THAT DOWN FOR ALLIE? 

Beetle Fart: Allies last name is griggs dumbass 

Senorita Alpha: I KNEW THAT I THOUGHT SHE HAD TWO LAST NAMES LIKE ALLIE BREWER-GRIGGS 

Gen-ius: I KNEW THAT TOO? WHAT HOW DID I FORGET 

third eye open: it fits her lowk 

Autistic & Lesbian: omg that does fit you it’s so lesbian 

Beetle fart: Nat?

Autistic & Lesbian: Yeah?

Beetle fart: take a look at your name on here and remember you're the one with the lesbian username 

Autistic & Lesbian: I’m never sharing my joint with you again 

Beetle Fart: NO I'M SORRY PLEASE

Batvan Mobile: but you will with me still right?!

Autistic & Lesbian: ofc

Beetle fart: NO DONT SMOKE W OUT ME THATS HOW WE BOND YOU GUYS STOP PLS 

Senorita Alpha: i’m gonna pretend I didn’t read that and remind everyone that this is a group chat for soccer! 

Queer Kamala: girl you were just screaming about Melissa’s last name.

Snow White: well it’s like a reveal it was big

Perezhiltonreborn: JUST GOT TO THE GC BREWER IS CRAZY?!!

Beetle Fart: Jackie can you fucking add shauna back 

Senorita Alpha: Oh right 

Senorita Alpha has added Shauna Shipman

Batvan mobile changed one name 

Writer's Block: GUYS I FIGURED OUT MELISSA'S LAST NAME 

Writer’s Block: ITS BREWER 

Writer’s Block: IT WAS IN MY PHONE 

Autistic & Lesbian: Someone’s late to the party 

Writer’s Block: Oh she told you damn it 

Beetle Fart: No good job babe you figured it out on your own! <3

Third eye open: where’d shauna go 

batvan mobile: oh shit you broke her Beetle fart.

Smokers and Twinks 

Mama: Wanna meet up at the lake and go smoke? 

Papa: when have i never?

kiddy fart: HELL YES 

Chapter Text

12:45 pm

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝 

Batvan Mobile: NATALOW LIKWS LP

Third eye open: uh what? 

Third eye open: van? 

Senorita Alpha: I swear if you guys are fucking high right now 

beetle fart: Noiiiiiioi wrre mobt 

Senorita Alpha: i’m supposed to believe that? 

Batvan Mobile: Yra(

Batvan Mobile: Yea?

reply to: Uh what? 

Autistic & Lesbian: Irs nirhing Littie 🩷

Senorita Alpha: Tai Shauna Lot? do yall have their locations

third eye open: why would you assume i had nats location 

Senorita Alpha: well do you?

third eye open: yes……

Queer Kamala: they’re getting high at the lake

Writers block: how’d you figure out the smoking part 

Gen-ius: you put three stoners on a lake together with weed, what do you get? three stoners high at the lake 

perezhiltonreborn: literally fork found in kitchen bro?

Queer Kamala: Me and Shauna are coming to get you guys @beetlefart @batvanmobile @autistic&lesbian

Autistic & Lesbian: Cwn lotrie come tto?

Third eye open: sure love 

BatVan Mobile: ONG IOGM GUSYS

BatVan Mobile: MEKSISA MSISSLE NAME US SOMBREK 

Gen-ius: Boi no one knows what you are saying

Beetle Fart: VSN SHYT RHE FICK IP

Beetle Fart: OH SJIT NSTLAIE JSUT JMPED IJN THE WATE RBRB 

Golderwall: @thirdeyeopen go get your girl

Third Eye Open: What do you think I'M doing oml.

Third Eye Open: Why did she jump in the water Melissa?

Batvan Mobile: Sge ssid uts vercaue yu calkwd her lpve

Writers Block: this pains me seeing you try to type

1:00 pm 

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES 🐝

perezhiltonreborn: @Writersblock @QueerKamala @thirdeyeopen hows it going with the three amigos

Gen-ius: I bet 10 dollars Natalie’s crying

Lady Hamilton: bet 

Queer Kamala: At a red light right now, i’m driving my car obviously Vans right next to me sleeping, Melissa has her head in Shauna’s lap sleeping, Shauna’s also sleeping and I don’t know about Lot and Nat because Lottie’s driving Nat back in Vans car 

Third eye open: Natalie is not crying gen 🙄 

Third Eye open: Oh shit never mind she’s crying

Gen-ius: and now shes gonna ramble on about how pretty you are 

Third eye open: she’s not….never mind typed too soon 

Third eye open: and she just randomly passed out in the middle of it

Gen-ius: and now she’s gonna fall asleep oh yep see

Snow white: Gen are you the one with the third eye dude?

Gen-ius: no Melissa Van and Natalie get high together at parties a lot and she does the same thing every fucking time 

Golderwall: can confirm i’ve gotten high with them before 

Senorita Alpha: Rachel??! 

Lady Hamilton: I remember that! She was crying more than robin does on a daily basis….

sleepeatcryrepeat: hello?

Gen-ius: well she’s not wrong 

Queer Kamala: Vans up 

reply to:No Melissa Van an….

Batvan Mobile: Don’t lie you join in too sometimes 

Gen-ius: Yeah you right 

Batvan Mobile: Shit that was the most beautiful nap ever 

Snow White: Better then when you and rob had a smoking contest and you passed out mid hit 

Batvan mobile: OH SHIT THAT ONE WAS PEAK

Headband Fein: AND SHE CRIED BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Batvan mobile: I remember Tai telling me Misty had checked on me mid sleep 

doubleoquigley: Yeah as high as i was I felt you passing out mid hit was a bit of a concern

Perezhiltonreborn: THAT WAS THE TIME MELISSA AND ME GOT INTO A RAP BATTLE CONTEST

Senorita Alpha: have you all gotten high together?! 

third eye open: pretty much 

Senorita Alpha: without me? :(

Gen-ius: Well yes?

Senorita Alpha: who’s all smoked together?

Batvan mobile: well me mel and nat do it all the time together. it doesn’t matter who joins in we  WILL smoke together. So there’s us, Tai and Shauna cause well duh, Lottie, Gen, Mari, and Rachel join half the time, Robin Britt Crystal and Misty are like a few times 

Senorita Alpha: You invited Quigley before me! 

Queer Kamala: She’s actually great company when high 

reply to: You invited Quig…

doubleoquigley: oh gee thanks 

Batvan Mobile: and then Akilah and Laura lee on the occasion 

Senorita Alpha: AND LAURA LEE?! SHE DOESN'T EVEN SMOKE?

Headband Fein: i do when im tense and need to relax, very good feeling 

Senorita Alpha: why can’t you just meditate

headband fein: because getting high makes you relax quicker 

Senorita Alpha: have you gotten high all together before 

Batvan mobile: yea like once or twice 

Senorita Alpha: and you guys never invited me?

Queer kamala: nope

Senorita Alpha: WHY?!

onewordwonder: well you are our captain….youre also jsut really uptight so we just thought you wouldn’t be able to relax even if you were high 

Batvan mobile: was that…

golderwall: MORE THAN ONE WORD?!

Writers block: BEST MESSAGE I COULD WAKE UP TO OML BRITT CLOCK THATT 

Queer Kamala: BABIES FIRST WORDS 

Headband Fein: a miracle tbh

Gen-ius: SPIT ABSOLUTE BARS AS WELL OMG

lady hamilton: spoke like shakespeare actually 

sleepeatcryrepeat: IM CRYING

sleepeatcryrepeat: THAT WAS SO GOOD 

reply to: IM CRYING 

perezhiltonreborn: we know 

snow white: BYE

Senorita Alpha: fuck all of you i am not uptight the fuck

Writers block: boi let’s not lie you got mad when your notebook was turned “the wrong way”

Senorita Alpha: IT WAS! 

Writers block: my point exa

third eye open: not the gl

perezhiltonreborn: stop why did both there sentences glitch out 

Gen-ius: STOP THATS SO FUNNY 

writers block: sorry there was a fuck ass speed bump 

writers block: it woke mel up 

Thirdeyeopen: surprisingly it didn’t wake Natalie 

reply to:MEKSISA MSISSLE N….

beetle fart: i’m so glad no one questioned this 

Batvan mobile: what is that? 

Batvan Mobile: oh wait 

Batvan Mobile: GUYS OMG 

beetle fart: NO VAN STOP 

Batvan Mobile: MELISSAS MIDDLE NAME IS FUCKING SOMBRERO 

Gen-ius: WHAYTTTTTT

Queer Kamala: What the fuck 

Queer Kamala: That doesn’t even make sense you’re not hispanic at all 

Sleepeatcryrepeat: LMAOO 

perezhiltonreborn: AHAHAHAHH 

perezhiltonreborn: IS THAT WHY YOU WEAR THAT FUCKASS WARN OUT UGLY AS FUCK NO GOOD PINK HAT ALL THE TIME? 

golderwall: oh well okay no need to do all that

snow white: i don’t know if all those extra words were necessary 

Gen-ius: mari has beef with a fucking hat what the hell

Autistic and Lesbian: fuck lottie just screamed laughing at Melissa’s middle name 

doubleoqugley: Hi Natalie! :3

Autistic and Lesbian: Hi misty!!! :)

Autistic and Lesbian: that’s the only face i know 

doubleoqugley: it’s okay 

Autistic and Lesbian: anyways Melissa’s middle name is stupid as fuck i actually loled 

onewordwonder: I knew her middle name 

batvan mobile: TWO TEXTS IN ONE DAY?!

perezhiltonreborn: AND MORE THEN ONE WORD 

perezhiltonreborn: WHAT DID WE DO TO GET THIS SURPRISE 

reply to: I knew her mid…

beetle fart: oh shit i forgot you like knew that about me 

beetle fart: i thought it was the coolest middle name ever when i told you and robin that 

Gen-ius: when were you friends with robin and britt

Beetle fart: we’ve been friends since middle school when they were 6th and i was 7th? i was like their mom 

gen-ius: @sleepeatcryrepeat @onewordwonder ????

sleepeatcryrepeat: I REMEMBER YOU TELLING US 

sleepeatcryrepeat: i forgot about that holy it’s been awhile 

gen-ius: yall weren’t like best friends or something right 

Batvan Mobile: or like a trio who smoked a whole lot 

Autistic & Lesbian: Van they were 12 and 13 

Autistic & Lesbian:….

Autistic & Lesbian: you guys weren’t a trio who smoked a whole lot right…

sleepeatcryrepeat: no we were on the same club soccer team so we weren’t the closest, we just talked a lot at soccer

onewordwonder: But we were making like oaths about some shit and we had to say our full name and she well said her middle name

batvan mobile: okay britt stop saying full sentences it’s scaring me 

lady hamilton: i thought you were mute 

Gen-ius: BYEEEE 💀 

reply to: IS THAT WHY YOU…

Beetle fart: fuck you asshole I actually started wearing the hat regularly because my brothers shaved off all my hair when i was 9.

Gen-ius: that’s tragic wth 

perezhiltonreborn: did you look like calliou?

beetle fart: what the hell sure

Batvan Mobile: SHE JUST SHOWED ME A PHOTO SHE DID HOLY SHIT 

beetle fart: Shauna just asked if i got hung by my underwear when i was younger. 

Autistic & Lesbian: AHAHAHHAHAHA 

Gen-ius: THATS FUCKING FUNNY 

doubleoquigley: That’s silly -:_:-

third eye open: well what’s the answer 

beetle fart: …..

beetle fart: I did 

Snow White: LMFAOOOOO

Gen-ius: AHAHAHAHAH

golderwall: HELLO?!!!! 

queer kamala: switched cars from Shauna and Melissa to lottie and nat and they are dying laughing 

headband fein: why the heck was lottie typing so much what?!

third eye open: priorities 🤷‍♀️

Batvan mobile: can we get back to the topic that Melissa’s middle name is hat in spanish 

doubleoquigley: as cute as that is I would also like to know @-@

writers block: watch yourself quigley 

beetle fart: thanks misty…. it’s not really interesting, my moms water broke on their trip to mexico with my four brothers, i wasn’t expected for another week so they didn’t have baby stuff for me, nothing but a few hats because they found a baby hat shop, anyways after my mom gave birth a few hours later my dad put one of the hats they got, on my head, it happened to be a sombrero, later the doctor came in with the hat still on my head, the doctor asked the name they chose my dad said Melissa, and the doctor continued to point and my dad thought he was pointing at the hat so he said sombrero? they found out later he was telling him to continue the name and the doctor thought they did it on purpose but they thought it was cute so they left it

Senorita Alpha: how do you know this?

Beetle fart: they got it all on camera sadly…

Batvan Mobile: YOU WERE MISTAKENLY CALLED MELISSA SOMBRERO

third eye open: wait that doesn’t make sense you aren’t even aloud to fly pregnant 

beetle fart: but you’re allowed to drive sadly 💔

Headband Fein: this is peak comedy!

perezhiltonreborn: okay Ai…

Autistic & Lesbian: OMG IF SHAUNA IS THE ONE TO PROPOSE TO MELISSA SHAUNAS GONNA HAVE TO SAY “Melissa Sombrero Brewer” THATS SO SILLY 

Lady Hamilton: it’s kind of poetic in a way…

Gen-ius: her name is shakespeare 

Golderwall: just shed a tear 

reply to: OMG IF SHAUN…

writers block: and id be happy to say it a million times boi

doubleoquigley:not to break up the chat but reminder that you guys do have practice from 6-9 

batvan mobile: WE WHAT?!

Autistic & Lesbian: OH WERE COOKED WERE COOKED 

Queer Kamala: oh thank you misty! i forgot! 

perezhiltonreborn: YOU GUYS WERE TOLD WE AHD PRACTICE?!

Batvan Mobile: I don’t want to go to fuckass practice 

Batvan Mobile: Melissa skip with me 

Beetle Fart: But i want to go practice

Batvan Mobile: boi be quiet no one actually wants to go to practice 

beetle fart: well i do 

Loml?! 🤍

2:45 pm

Lover 🩷: I actually don’t want to go to practice, i just want to like cuddle and watch movies but Jackie’s scary 

Me: well then stop texting from the other room and come here before we have to get ready

Lover 🩷: can you sleepover?!

Me: Depends if you’re gonna take up my offer first 

Lover 🩷: Let me finish the snacks 

Me: we don’t have all day love 

Me: cmon sir sembrero beetle fart 

Lover 🩷: SIR SEMBRERO BEETLE FSRT?!! shauna  :( 

Me: okay okay i’m sorry, i love you and your name 

Lover 🩷: i love you more

Me: oh yeah? Come show me 

no tears for queers!

4:16 pm

bleachedbitch: guys i don’t want to go to practice 

queerforJesus: i literally prayed we didn’t have practice 

gingergay: i would rather stand for two hours than go to practice 

perezhiltonsdaughter: isn’t that what you do 

gingergay: yes but id rather do it for fun 

gingergay: tais making me go 

bossyqueer: i forgot about these names

bossyqueer: yes im making you go tf 

gingnergay: like what even is the point bro im abt to be emo 

gingergay: LIKE WHY DO WE HAVE PRACTICE 

Gen-likesgirls: ginger gay is about to ginger snap 

scarybiboi: can you guys be quiet i'm in the middle of something

nicelezgirl: or we can just mute the gc babe so it won’t make noise you know 

scarybiboi: oh…thanks baby that’s a good idea! 

gingergay: ew they’re getting freaky before practice wtf 

queerforJesus: How do you know that 

gingergay: because it’s Shauna and Melissa

queerforJesus: point taken

thegayspirits: you’re just mad Tai won’t let you guys get freaky rn

gingergay: and at least i would have someone to do it with!

perezhiltonsdaughter: CLOCKED

thegayspirits: mari don’t start you are simping over the team captain

perezhiltonsdaughter: psshhh no i’m not?

Gen-likesgirls: mari…

perezhiltonsdaughter: FUCKING FINE I AM

ginger gay took a screenshot 

perezhiltonsdaughter: NO VAN DELETE THAT

gingergay: well look at the time! we’ve gotta be at practice in about 30 minutes! see ya there!

perezhiltonsdaughter: VAN

Chapter Text

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES!🐝

9:08 pm 

Gen-ius: Best. Practice. Ever. 

Autistic & Lesbian: NO it wasnt. Please Please god rem0ove tris rppractive from eberyones vrain

Beetle Fart: Okay take a break, learn how to fucking spejdeoewi

Perezhiltonreborn: Why'd she just type nonsense 

Third Eye Open: Because i hit her phone out of her hand, and then flicked the back of her head 🤷

Beetle fart : WHICH REALLY HURT

Third eye open: Don’t be a baby

Gen-ius: uh oh 

Third Eye Open: What

Gen-ius: Nothing, you chose a risky path my friend 

Third Eye Open: What does that mean

Gen-ius: You'll see!

My lovely beautiful funny silly one of a kind girlfriend! 💗

9:10 pm

Lover: Hey baby

Lover: where are you right now?

Me: HELLOOOOOOOO

Me: Im at the park with Lottie and Van and then i was gonna head over to pick you up

Lover: Which park?

Me: The one by the music store

Me: why you wanna hang out 

Me: Please

Me: come to the park

Lover: I'm coming don’t move 

Me: Yes ma'am 🫡

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝

9:15 pm

Batvan Mobile: Shauna is chasing lottie around the park 

Batvan Mobile: and Melissa is chasing after Shauna for her to stop 

Gen-ius: Could've called that one

Gen-ius: Actually I did but I chose not to tell her.

Third Eye Open: YU KNEW

Gen-ius: you’re the one who chose to slap the phone out of her girlfriends hand 

Batvan Mobile: HA LOTTIE TRIPPED 

Batvan Mobile: AND MELISSA TRIPPED OVER LOTTIE HAHA

Batvan Mobile: oh shit they’re not moving.

Autistic & Lesbian: WHAT

Autistic & Lesbian: If lottie dies i’m murdering you 

Autistic & Lesbian: Van! 

Snow White: and now none of them are responding great 

Senorita Alpha: why are they even at the park right now 

perezhiltonreborn: maybe to get some sun?

Senorita Alpha: Mari it is basically pitch black outside 

perezhiltonreborn: sunlight from the lamp posts?

Queer Kamala: I’m calling Van.

Senorita Alpha: if they are even slightly concussed I will be punching you myself tai.

Queer Kamala: Then you would have three injured girls?

Snow white: oh clocked 

Senorita Alpha: i’m going Alpha that’s it 

Autistic & Lesbian: oh shut the fuck up NEVER say that shit again.

Autistic & Lebsian: What did van say @queerkamala

Queer Kamala :…. 

Queer Kamala: want the good news or the bad news first

Autistic & Lesbian: THE GOOD NEWS.

Queer Kamala: damn i was really hoping you would say bad

Queer Kamala: there isn’t any good news, the bad news is that Van didn’t answer

Autistic & Lesbian: hmm…

Autistic & Lesbian: was it… like… she hung up on you quickly or did it ring and just no one picked up

Queer Kamala: the latter?

Autistic & Lesbian: bitch

Autistic & Lesbian: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN 

Queer Kamala: I don’t know i’m just using slang

Queer Kamala: she didn’t hang up it just rang

Autistic & Lesbian: Cool didn’t help 

Queer Kamala: You asked?!

Queer Kamala: I’ll text Shauna 

Queer Kamala: she probably feels like an asshole

Gen-ius: There going to the hospital

Golderwall: did you…like have a vision…or…

perezhiltonreborn: or she’s just an actual genius 

Queer Kamala: clearly not if she used the wrong ‘there’ 

Gen-ius: 💔

Gen-ius: I checked Mel's location.

Gen-ius: at least that’s where it looks like they’re going 

Autistic & Lesbian: HOSPITAL?

Autistic & Lesbian: I’m gonna kill Shauna

Queer Kamala: hey asshole let’s not forget Melissa also tripped and wasn’t moving as well  

Queer Kamala: you know like her actual  girlfriend??

doubleoquigley: hey gang! they just arrived at the hostpital! 

golderwall: how do you know that 

doubloquigley: shhh 🤫 

doubleoquigley: does anyone wanna head to the hostpital with me and Kristen?

Autistic & Lesbian: Who’s kristen

onewordwonder: I don’t know but i’m guessing robin knows who it is because she’s crying more

golderwall: when is she not?

sleepeatcryrepeat: crystal

golderwall: what 

perezhiltonreborn: she’s not crying when crystal?

gen-ius: seems like the answer she gave 

gen-ius: also misty me Rachel and Akilah are going so we will meet you there

perezhiltonreborn: wait can i come with you guys 

Snow white: YEAH! 

snow white: i mean

onewordwonder: boi

onewordwonder: me and rob are heading over right now 

reply to: who’s kristen

Senorita Alpha: are we deaduzz rn?

Autistic & Lesbian: well are you gonna answer? 

doubleoquigley: kristen is crystal nat. 🤗

Autistic & Lesbian: Thank you Misty

Autistic & Lesbian: wait if her names kristen why do we call her crystal 

Lady hamilton: you all got it wrong the first day and i was gonna correct you but then you guys started calling me crystal the pistol 

queer kamala: and you know what, I RESPECT you for that. 

Senorita Alpha: Alright so Robin and Britt are heading over together, kristen and misty are heading over as well, Mari Akilah Gen and Rachel are heading over together also, so can u pick me up tai

Queer Kamala: yeah

Queer Kamala: I can also come pick you u nat? 

Senorita Alpha: Alright sounds good 

Autistic & Lesbian: Gotcha

Senorita Alpha: Where’s Laura Lee?

Queer Kamala: huh…. I haven’t thought about that

Snow White: Probably sleeping like a normal person would at 9:30 pm

Senorita Alpha: touche

senorita alpha: alright i’ll see y'all at the hospital.

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝 

10:00 pm 

Autistic & Lesbian: can’t believe the receptionist yelled at us for being too loud, it’s like we’re a fucking soccer team duh?

Queer Kamala: I think it’s just because it’s 10 at night and we came in with a lot of commotion 

Autistic & Lesbian: huh

Autistic & Lesbian: that makes a lot more sense then I thought 

perezhiltonreborn: She’s staring at us with daggers help 

Gen-ius: it’s because we’re sitting next to a professional cryer and the gayest people on earth

Queer Kamala: its crier idiot and the receptionist literally has the rainbow flag in that cup holder

perezhiltonreborn: also maybe the fact that Misty and Crystal won’t stop fucking singing  

Lady Hamilton: ITS FUCKING HUMMING. 

Gen-ius: FUCKING STOP

Lady Hamilton: FUCKING FINE 

Queer Kamala: Also Robin is aloud to have emotions Gen.

sleepeatcryrepeat: thank you 💔

Senorita Alpha: Okay but actually Robin sweetie you need to calm down please stop crying

gen-ius: oh crap

golderwall: wow okay….

 doubleoquigley: wow sometimes you really do just need to ask!

Autistic & Lesbian: i didn’t think that would work

Headband Fein: Hey why is my phone blowing up what happened

Golderwall: Laura Lee!!!

Headband Fein: What happened?

Autistic & Lesbian: we’re all at the hostpital because Shauna decided to chase lottie around a park because Lottie hit the phone out of Melissa hand, then Melissa was chasing after Shauna to get her to stop 

Queer Kamala: and for some reason Lottie decided to pull her phone out during it and tripped, Melissa tripped over lottie and then non of them answered 

Senorita Alpha: which is kinda like…. damn the phones right there can’t you just pull it out and send a quick text?

Queer Kamala: Well Shauna’s probably freaking out you know, and Van well her phones on DND…

Autistic & Lesbian: BRO I TOLD HER TO TURN THAY SHIT OFF..

Queer Kamala: Scattorico. Do not yell at my wife.

sleepeatcryrepeat: WAIT PLS STOP YELLING AT RACH OTHER NO

perezhiltonreborn: Yeah pls don’t start this, that’s like the whole reason we’re here because of wife wars.

Senorita Alpha: Yeah why can’t we all just be straight? like me?

No tears for queer’s! 

10:10 pm

bleached bitch: did she seriously just say that 

tearsforqueers: actually pmo wdym why can’t we all be straight 

queerfortears: right 

Gen- likes girls: stop she thought she ate with that line 

bossy queer: her not knowing she’s also gay is so silly 

queerfordeers: Maris freaking out right now 

perezhiltonsdaughter: please Akilah we do not need to mention this i will fucking scream

queerfordeers: hmm mari is totally normal rn actually

perezhiltonsdaughter: thank you 

bossy queer: oh shit jackie’s looking at all of us with a weird look 

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES!! 🐝 

10:13 pm 

Senorita Alpha: You guys are texting in a group chat without me aren’t you :(

headband fein: pshhh what no….

senorita Alpha: Laura Lee ur not even here and i know ur ass is lying 

Batvan Mobile: Yeah she’s lying 

Queer Kamala: VAN

perezhiltonreborn: SHE'S ALIVE 

Gen-ius: I don't think it’s the right time to say that Mar…

perezhiltonreborn: right sorry…

Autistic & Lesbian: VAN WHERE ARE YOU GUYS 

Batvan mobile: I can’t disclose that info

onewordwonder: boi 

Golderwall: Van were all in the fucking waiting room for you guys where are you 

Batvan mobile: ITS UNDISCLOSED.

Senorita Alpha: fine ig we have to find a new goalie 

perezhiltonreborn: i’m never watching a movie with you again if you don’t say something twink 

Autistic & Lesbian: Van you will never get weed again if you don’t tell us where you are and what’s going only lllappdp

Batvan Mobile: NO NOT MY WEED

Batvan Mobile: omg we’re on the third floor, Mel room 2105 and Lot in 2107, I recommend coming into lots first and then Mel...

Gen-ius: what why

Gen-ius: what happened to mel 

Golderwall: omg she’s on life support i knew it.

snow white: darn.

doubleoquigley: that’s devestating :/

Autistic & Lesbian: tough loss.. mel was a good one

Senorita Alpha: One of our best defenders actually. bummer…

Batvan Mobile: what no mel isn’t on life support it’s because Shauna is like balling and Melissa is trying to calm her down

Autistic & Lesbian: why is shauna playing basketball at a time like this 

perezhiltonreborn: bro sport hopper wtf she doesn’t even like basketball

lady hamilton: lowk disrespectful going into a hospital room and just playing basketball 

queer kamala: guys Van meant bawling…like crying

sleepeatcryrepeat: but that’s like lowk my thing wth

gen-ius: damn rip crying robin time for you to be a scary bisexual

Senorita Alpha: So wait what’s the damage to lottie and mel..

Batvan Mobile: oh uh…

Senorita Alpha: Van…

Batvan Mobile: okay so the good news lottie just twisted her hand and is in the okay to play soccer still! 

Senorita Alpha: AND MEL?

Batvan Mobile: maybe she should tell you idk…

Senorita Alpha: THEN GET HER ON HER PHONE

Beetle fart: Hey guys 

Gen-ius: MELLL

Beetle fart: Shauna is gonna type a message on here rq

Beetle fart: hey guys i just want to say i’m sorry jackie… 

Senorita Alpha: FOR WHAT?

Beetle fart: well you see not so so so long ago i was chasing after lottie because she was being a dick to my gf and i was just trying to be a good gf and i chased her around and then she tripped and then my gf tripped

snow white: did this not just happen less than an hour ago?

Beetle fart: and all though lottie is okay… Mel uh… she uhm… her knees cap kind off… isn’t a cap but more of caps if you will… it shattered into a few pieces and it fractured… and out for a little over six weeks…

Senorita Alpha: What. 

Beetle fart: but hey at least i have this bad ass looking black eye!  

Chapter Text

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES!! 🐝 

Saturday, 12:34 pm

autistic & lesbian: i have decided to come forward

autistic & lesbian: and reveal a secret ive been keeping from you all 

doubleoquigley: oh she’s doing it yay! :->

doubleoquigley: she’s a lesbian!!

golderwall:how the h do you know that’s what she was gonna say

perezhiltonreborn: I thought she was already out? 

Third eye open: NATLAIES A LESBIAN?!!!!?

third eye open: WHATTT ACTUALY

third eye open: CHAT IS THIS REAL

batvan mobile: oh we’re doomed 

batvan mobile: great going quigs 

doubleoquigley: not yet lottie but that's my guess!

headband fein: what if… she’s turned to Jesus! 

headband fein: HALLELUJAH!

queer kamala: laura lee…

snow white: you think our…natalie…turned to…Jesus?

headband fein: why not?

golderwall: like OUR natalie….

perezhiltonreborn: loves to drink and show up to practice high Natalie? 

gen-ius: turning to Jesus?

headband fein: well if you put it that way:(

Senorita Alpha: It’s okay ll i’m with you dw

perezhiltonreborn: oh yeah…i’m with you too ll :)))

gen-ius: 🇬🇧🚬

perezhiltonreborn: what?

Batvan Mobile: HAHHAHAHAHAHA

Batvan Mobile: THAT WAS FUCKING FUNNY GEN

gen-ius: I learn from the best 🤷‍♀️ 

Queer kamala: That was very funny. 

perezhiltonreborn: WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Golderwall: I love you sm right now gen that was golden

snow white: that was so niche i love it 

Lady Hamilton: what are we talking about 

reply to: 🇬🇧🚬

Doubleoquigley: This!

Doubleoquigley: which is very funny 

Lady Hamilton: oh

Lady Hamilton: HA

perezhiltonreborn: I SWEAR TO GOD TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS

headband fein: mari :( 

perezhiltonreborn: oh shit i’m sorry ll

headband fein: it’s ok, i would also like to know what gen meant

Senorita Alpha: it means a cigarette from britain ! 

Queer Kamala: Jackie…

Golderwall: Oh that’s not

sleepeatcryrepeat: 😭 

Snow white: oh no ur so dumb you made robin cry

batvan Mobile: Jackie pls tell me ur joking

Senorita Alpha: GEN SENT A FUCKING CIGARETTE NEXT TO A FUCKING BRITISH FLAG OF COURSE IM GOING TO FUCKING ASSUME ITS A CIGARETTE FROM BRITIAIN NOT EVERYONE CAN BE IN ON UR STUPID LITTLE FUCKASS JOKE WITH WHAT THAT FICKING MEANS VAN HOLY FUCKING FUCK SHIT 

Senorita Alpha has left the group

Writers block is now Admin

Queer Kamala: Bruh

Autistic & Lesbian: oh wow

third eye open: did not see that one coming

Batvan Mobile: i just asked if she was joking what 😭

headband fein: all because of some emojis :( 

onewordwonder: jackie crashout wasn’t on my 2025 bingo card

golderwall: why is she soccer captain when she’s obviously the president of the drama club.

Lady Hamilton: we could use some of that dramaticness in drama actually 

perezhiltonreborn: guys wth :( now how am i supposed to interact with her

Gen-ius: uh talk to her? 

Gen-ius: lowk ur fault because you were acting like really gay mar 

batvan mobile: couldn't have kept it in ur pants could you mar

perezhiltonreborn: can we just get her back in here and you guys could apologize or something 

Autistic & Lesbian: wait guys i still wanted to tell everyone what i was gonna announce

queer kamala: girl 

Batvan Mobile: Really?

gen-ius: we know ur lesbian Natalie let’s move on!

Autistic & Lesbian: Fuck you gen, i will not confirm nor deny that but the real reveal is im going to stanford for soccer! i got in bitches!

Batvan Mobile: WHAT??? THATS SO COOL DUDE!!

headband fein: congratulations natalie!

Queer Kamala: That is so exciting Natalie!

Doubleoquigley: Oh i’m sorry for assuming you were lesbian Nat, that is so Kewl you got into stanford! 

Gen-ius: oh shit that’s sick ash 

Autistic & Lesbian: And i wanted Jackie in here so she could know that her being team captain has paid off

Golderwall: wouldn’t it have been the coaches

Autistic & Lesbian: No because the coaches didn’t convince me to go to practice everyday Jackie did 

Autistic & Lesbian: and also Lottie but

thirdeyeopen: my affect 

Snow White: I’m so proud of you Nat!

sleepeatcryrepeat: Omg 😭 all the seniors are leaving 😭 what are we gonna do bro

Gen-ius: oh shit… i didn’t even realize that 

perezhiltonreborn: you mean… huzz is graduating and leaving me? bro 

Batvan Mobile: Girl shut up

Batvan Mobile: you know who i feel the most bad for

Gen-ius: is it who i think it is

Batvan Mobile: A certain hat wearing lesbian?

Gen-ius: Bingo

Golderwall: wait why are we feeling bad Melissa

Lady Hamilton: I feel most bad for me bc i’m being separated with Misty 

doubleoquigley: Well actually I’m a Senior?

Lady Hamilton: Actually

Lady Hamilton: Okay never mind no more feel bad for me

Gen-ius: No one did?

Batvan Mobile: I feel bad for Mel because her 

and Shauna have been dating since the beginning of time and now like what are they gonna do

gen-ius: huh idk

Headband Fein: Call?

Golderwall: Not possible neither of them can keep their hands off of each other 

Autistic & Lesbian: Yikes that’s got horror movie written all over it 

Batvan Mobile: Real 

Queer Kamala: Hey speaking of Shauna and Melissa, where are they? 

Queer Kamala: Neither of them have texted in here all day

Batvan Mobile: Wait yeah

Batvan Mobile: do you guys know what they were supposed to do today 

perezhiltonreborn: Idk but can we get shauna in here so we can add her back

snow white: Girl 

Autistic & Lesbian: We should just leave the two be they are probably hanging out 

Batvan Mobile: Ur probably right whatever

Loml?! 🤍

12:25 pm

Me: Hey Baby

Lover 🩷: HI BABYYYY!!!! 

?Me: Can we talk

Lover 🩷: Like over text? or like irl

Me: Irl would be the best i think

Lover 🩷: Okay… ur really scaring me shauna 

Me: I’m really scaring myself too. Just come over asap

Lover 🩷: Yeah ofc i’ll be there soon 

Lover 🩷: I love you 

Me: Ilyt 

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES 🐝 

1:00pm 

Beetlefart has left the group 

Gen-ius: uh wtf??

Batvan Mobile: What the fuck 

Headband Fein: do you think she read the messages of us feeling bad for her and she got upset and left? :(

Batvan Mobile: No she wouldn’t do that

Batvan Mobile: @Writersblock do you know what happened 

Writers Block: dk 

writers block has left the group 

Autistic & Lesbian is now Admin

autistic & Lesbian: WHAT THE HELL?

Golderwall: this is really weird

Doubleoquigley: hmmlike unusual

Autistic & Lesbian added Jackie Taylor 

Batvan Mobile changed one name 

Senorita Alpha: I’m sorry i just stormed out of the chat like that, that’s mb

Batvan Mobile: we have bigger fish to fry Jackie 

Senorita Alpha: Why what happened 

Queer Kamala: Melissa and Shauna both left the group chat for no reason

Gen-ius: well there is probably a reason we just don’t know 

Senorita Alpha: what the fuck 

Senorita Alpha: Maybe we should try private chatting them?

Batvan Mobile: Yeah good idea 

Batvan Mobile: Wait Melissa just texted

Stoners & twinks 

1:06 pm 

Kiddy Fart: anyone down to get high

Mama: Mel…

Papa: first tell us why you left the gc

Kiddy Fart: BOOO you guys are lameeee,why does it matter why i left? 

Kiddy Fart: Wtv i’m js gonna get drunk by myself 

Kiddy Fart: I’ll be doing A LOt bu my self now

Mama: What?

Papa: Oh shit 

Papa: she broke up w you 

Papa: didn’t she 

Kiddy Fart: bingo

Mama: WHAT?

Papa: Dude i’m so sorry mel

kiddy fart: whabtever 

Papa: why’d she do it 

kiddy fart: she said she had been “contemplating” for a few days now about it and how we should be on our own for a while and if we really were soulmates the world would bring us back together 

Future Wife (she doesn’t know it yet) 

1:08 pm 

Baefy: dude

Baefy: dude

Baefy: DUDE

Me: yes

Baefy: Shauna broke up with melissa 

Me:what

Me: How do you know 

Baefy: she just told me and van 

Me: no

Me: what

Me: no

Me: WHY

Baefy: Melissa said she apperantly had been contemplating it for a few days because shauna’s going to college and Melissa not 

Me: THATS SUCH BULLCRAP 

Me: Tai and Van are going to two different places and they literally alr have a four year plan 

Me: some bullshit excuse from shauna 

Baefy: well it sucks on both because they both really loved each other

Baefy: you could like tell from a mile away 

Me: yeah 

Baefy: Oh she texted again 

Stoners & twinks 

1:10 pm 

Papa: Like how’d it go down 

Mama: Ur making her act out how she just lost the love of her life?!

Papa: just wanna know for research. idk??

Kiddy Fart: she texted me saying come over and she was acting really strange and when i said I love you all she said back was ilyt

Papa: that bitch

Kiddy fart: calm down i still am in love with her

Kiddy Fart: got to her house she brought me in and told me to sit on the couch, she said Mel you know i love you forever and i nodded and she said you know all i want for you in life is the best and i laughed and said this sounds like the start of a break up, and stupid fucking me she looked at me and then looked down, And then proceeded to tell me how she’s clueless on how it would work when she would be in college and i would still be here, and then started ranting about how she’s sorry and how she still loves me a lot and how she wishes me the best and if it’s meant to be we will be brought back together. I blocked most of that out because i felt like audibly killing myself for most of it. she then grabbed my cheek and said she still loved me and then kissed me, i kissed back and we were jsut sat there. until i couldn’t take it anymore and got up and left.

Papa: dude 

Mama: I’m so sorry 

kiddy fart: it’s wtv right? just a lost of time for no reason because i literally feel like i wont survive a full new day

Nerdy for soccer!

1:05 pm 

Tai: Shauna…

.Me: Leave me alone Tai

Tai: shauna what happened 

Me: I BROKE UP WITH HER THAYS WHAT HAPPENED! alright

Tai: Shauna why the fuck would you do that??

Me: Because i’m scared, i’m so in love with her that it scares me to death, it scares me that i’ll go off to college and she’ll find someone better than me. I'm so in love with her and I can't risk losing her. I had to tai i just had to

Tai: But you fucking didn’t?

Tai: dude do you know how in love she is with you?

Tai: I swear sometimes when she’s with me and Van i feel like i’m going to go death with the amount she talks about you 

Tai: You just broke up with someone who even when ur not in the room your the only girl she has eyes for

Tai: You really messed up 

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES 🐝 🐝 🐝 

1:15 pm 

Batvan Mobile: alright i have news 

Gen-ius: what happened?

Doubleoquigley: this is scaring me idk why

golderwall: rip the bandage what happened

Autistic & Lesbian: They broke up 

Headband fein: good joke 

Headband fein: what’s the real reason 

Batvan Mobile: all serious ll 

Batvan Mobile: Shauna broke up with Mel

Headband fein: uh what. 

Headband fein: on god? 

Batvan mobile: sadly yes

Senorita Alpha: IM SORRY SHE DID WHAT?

Green & Pink 

1:20 pm 

Jax 💗: SHAUNA MARIE SHIPMAN 

Jax 💗: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING 

.Me: oh they told you

Jax 💗: OFC THEY TOLD ME

Jax 💗: Shauna.. you have to fix it 

?Me: How jax

Me: Hey mel i’m deeply inlove with you but i broke up with you because i felt like if i left for college you would realize im worth nothing and find someone better but i realized it was a mistake now pls get back together with me

Jax 💗: Sounds like a solid plan tbh 

Me: No it isn’t. Now if you excuse me i am going to rot until i die 

Jax 💗: BROTHER

Jax 💗: okay i’ll just take matters into my own hands.

Me: Jax pls. can you just leave it alone for a little

Jax 💗: Fine 

Jax 💗: i’ll give it a week

six days later

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝 

Friday, 1:20 pm

Senorita Alpha: this is killing me 

Senorita Alpha: and i wasn’t even in the relationship 

Sleepeatcryrepeat: we’re children of divorce 

Queer Kamala: This is bad. They’ve never not talked for this long 

Autistic & Lesbian: yeah this is like too much right before tournament season starts

Gen-ius: That’s what you are worried about?

Autistic & Lesbian: actually yes, as much as i love both mel and shauna, we still have a tournament to play and try to win and having two really good players in a slump is not helping, but we have to let them resolve it themselves 

third eye open: when she’s smart and logical holy 🤤 

third eye open: sorry not the time continue 

Senorita Alpha: nats right..

Senorita Alpha: and not right at the same time 

Autistic & Lesbian: uh what 

Senorita Alpha: about letting themselves revolve it. We have to give them a little push. 

Golderwall: but how 

Snow white: yeah mel has not shown up to any practices this week 

Lady Hamilton: yeah we have Ap euro together and she showed up only once

Lady Hamilton: and when she did she had headphones in hood up and head down

Batvan Mobile: I have ap lit w her and she was there four times but that’s earlier in the day and she has a class w shauna right before ap euro so that’s probably why 

Headband Fein: this is really sad 

onewordwonder: I have that class w her and shauna, shauna went up to Mel once and melissa just walked out 

doubleoquigley: maybe we can lock them in a room together and try to get them to hash it out?

batvan mobile : are you crazy

Senorita Alpha: wait that’s not a bad plan Misty

batvan mobile: why like why why does everyone always take her side 

Gen-ius: girl 

Queer Kamala: ur gonna lock the two in a room together jackie?

Senorita Alpha: not particularly, more digital type…

Gen-ius: this is really freaking me out. like actually 

Gen-ius: I stopped by Mel’s house the other day to check on her and her mom said she hadn’t even come out of her room to eat all week, and seemed like she was too drunk to care.

Golderwall: i caught her crying in the bathroom at school, ran out when she saw me 

Batvan Mobile: this is just really too much for her 

Untitled Text

1:45 pm 

Jackie Taylor added, Melissa Brewer and Shauna Shipman 

Jackie Taylor Renamed the group chat 

get back together text?!??

Ss: this was ur big plan?

jt: yes 

mb: why am i here 

mb: oh

mb: hi baby 

mb: i meant shauna fuck sorry 

ss: it’s ok 

ss: i’m leaving this is clearly awkward jackie 

jt: NO. YOU WILL NOT LEAVE UNTIL YLU GIYS GET BACK TOGETHER 

ss: why would we get back together through text 

jt: THEN DO IT IRL IDK. ALL I KNOW IS YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER TOO MUCH TO DO THAT 

mb: jackie she is going to college and I'm staying here, it would never work. 

jt: did she tell you that

mb: quite literally 

jt: oh 

ss: that’s not the reason mel.

mb: then what is it huh? u too good for me or something?

ss: i’m not saying it over text. 

mb: okay? so don’t say it at all then? 

ss: no mel pls can i js explain myself? 

mb: why? u alr broke up w me.

ss: pls just come back over mel, i’ll explain it pls 

mb: fine. i’m coming.

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝 🐝 

2:00 pm

Batvan mobile: update?

Queer Kamala: jackie started a get-back-together gc

Batvan mobile: oh lord 

Doubleoquigley: any progress?

Senorita Alpha: last i know Mel is going over to shauna’s as we speak 

Golderwall: that’s better than not talking

Gen-ius: betting they’re back together by like 5pm

Headband Fein: no way they last that long apart

Snow White: y’all are too optimistic

reply to: no way they last tha…

Batvan Mobile: well they alr have…for a whole week 

perezhiltonreborn: van that was probably the worst week of their lives be fr

Gen-ius: is anyone else worried abt mel? she seems off 

Batvan Mobile: Gen she is quite literally going through a break up

Gen-ius: yeah i know, but she hasn’t been eating, been drinking a whole bunch, skipping school, this can’t be good for her

Third eye open: no i notice too. it’s like… bad

Autistic & Lesbian: all we can do is pray jackie’s plan works 

Stoners & Twinks

2:23 pm

Kiddy Fart: van nat 

Kiddy Fart: idk what’s happening

Kiddy Fart: my hands are shaking

Kiddy Fart: can’t breathe properly

Kiddy Fart: can someone pls talk to me rn

 Kiddy Fart: i’m at shauna’s and i don’t feel right

Kiddy Fart: like my body’s moving slower than my brain

Kiddy Fart: i’m trying to walk to her room and everything feels heavy

Papa: mel??

Papa: what do you mean not right?

Mama: what’s happening?? are you okay?

Kiddy Fart: idk

Kiddy Fart: i haven’t really slept the past few days

Kiddy Fart: or eaten much

Kiddy Fart: i thought i was just tired but now i feel dizzy

Kiddy Fart: everything’s kind of spinning

Mama: what happened with shauna 

Kiddy Fart: i got here i was alr feeling light headed and then like we talked for a little bit but i came in here when i felt like i couldn’t fucking breathe

Kiddy Fart: i’m just gonna sit down for a sec

Kiddy Fart: heading into shauna’s room now

Mama: mel no wait go get her

Mama: please don’t go quiet on us

Mama: mel?

Mama: MEL??

Papa: she’s not answering

Papa: fuck

Papa: should we text shauna???

BUZZ BUZZ B*TCHES! 🐝 🐝 

2:45 pm 

Batvan Mobile: okay someone add shauna

Batvan Mobile: NAT ADD SHAUNA 

Gen-ius: WHY? 

Batvan mobile: *Insert screenshot*

Gen-ius: oh shit that’s not good

third eye open: omg she just stopped answering?

Autistic & Lesbian: Okay i’m doing it 

Autistic and lesbian has added shauna shipman

Shauna Shipman: oh uh hi guys 

Shauna Shipman: what’s up?

Autistic & Lesbian: where is mel?

Shauna Shipman: went to the bathroom why?

Batvan Mobile: and she’s not out yet?

Shauna Shipman: No why….

Shauna Shipman: just heard a loud bang one sec

batvan mobile: dude this is not good

Headband Fein: pls lord let mel be ok

Onewordwonder: robs crying a lot omg

shauna shipman: Someone call 911.

Shauna shipman: Mel just passed out and hit her head 

Shauna shipman: there’s blood.