Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Being an Avenger is complicated. Natasha has known this for a while, but lately, things have seemed off.

Natasha would know, her intuition has never steered her wrong. Even if her friends think she's being weird, she knows she can’t be paranoid, at least not this time.

“Nat, I’ve got a couple of papers for you to sign for the court.” Pepper's kind and put-together voice covered Natasha’s thoughts, stealing her attention from them.

Papers were not uncommon recently with Natasha being the first avenger to go through the pardoning process just a couple months after the fight in Germany.

It was currently her, Tony, and Pepper living in the tower and the rest were planning to come back once Natasha was pardoned.

Natasha was so excited for her family to move back together, so why does she feel like she's dreading something?

She takes the papers from Pepper and goes to her room to sign them. It takes a good minute, but she goes back downstairs once she’s done and finds Pepper in the kitchen on the common floor.

“Hey, Pepper, I’ve got those papers signed. Where do you want them?” The redhead asked politely.

“Just put them in my office please. Thank you so much for cooperating with all this paperwork by the way, I feel I’m constantly just handing you paper after paper and I’m sorry. We should be pretty much done though,” Pepper lightly ranted as she cooked.

“Oh, and I’m cooking dinner for the three of us so just come back down once you’ve put the papers up. Thank you again!” Pepper finished her small ramble.

“Of course, Pepper. Thank you for doing all the hard legal work for me. And for the dinner,” Natasha replied before making her way to the floor Peppers office was on.

She dropped the papers off and headed back downstairs where dinner was being put on the table. 

Tony came down the stairs shortly after Natasha found her seat, smiling as he spoke rambunctiously. “How's all the papers going, Red?”

Natasha smiles back at him slightly, mainly mockingly because of the nickname. “It's going fine, much better than being on the run,” she says with a raise of her eyebrows and tilt of the head.

The three continue to talk lightly over dinner until Tony remembers something. “Ah, Ms. Widow, is it too soon for a mission?” 

Natasha’s attention is snatched by that sentence. Why would Tony be handing out missions? That’s pretty much Steve and Fury’s field. 

“Depends. Who’s assigning me?” She asked curiously. “Me, any problems with that?” Tony scoffs, as if she shouldn’t have dared question his ability.

When Natasha shakes her head, Tony provides some details. “You’re really just gonna download some info off of a computer from some base that has to do with whatever you did in Budapest.”

The mission itself seemed very easy, but the circumstances were strange. First she’s had this bad feeling for a couple days now, and now she’s going on a mission tied to the infamous Budapest?

That mission was supposed to end right where she left it. That was the end all be all, but now there was another mission correlating with it? Ten years later?

She swallowed her doubt and shock, complying for her job, even though she really shouldn’t be going on one yet with the lack of other avengers. 

When she asked how come this couldn’t wait until there were better conditions, Tony just asked if she would want less people to know about this mission.

Truthfully, she did, because if more people knew about this mission, there would probably be more people that would know about Budapest as well.

Tony told her to come to his lab the next day so he could give her coordinates and hopefully have Happy convinced to fly her. She would fly out the day after that.

And that’s exactly what happened. The coordinates were somewhere in Western Russia, Happy was gonna fly her, Tony would run comms from the jet. Everything was set up and the mission itself was simple enough.

The day rolled around fast, Pepper even gave her a little pep-talk (pun-intended) since she knew Nat was nervous with the ties.

“I’ll be here when you come back, and you’ll only be gone two days. You’re gonna do great. All of you will!” The woman said as the three started loading up on the jet.

“Thank you, Pepper. I’ll see you in a bit,” Natasha said before the jet closed and she took her seat. The flight was long but peaceful. Minus the egotistic billionaire who couldn’t help a couple sensitive jokes.

They landed safely and the mission was put into full swing just a couple hours later once night fell.

Natasha bullied her way into the base, taking down a couple guards at the entrance easily. She sprinted through the halls, on the search for a database.

“There’s a room up there on your right. It has the computer with the database. Get in and get out.” Tony communicated through her earpiece.

“Got it.” She replied with a grunt as she took down a guard that had come at her from another room.

She got into the room by picking a lock and grabbed the hard drive from her pocket, putting it into the computer. She turned around as she heard a pair of footsteps coming, being faced with two more guards which she took down easy enough.

She turned her attention back to the computer to be sure she didn’t miss anything, clicking through files. 

She was stunned for a moment when she found a picture of someone. Someone she knew. 

It was a picture of the little blonde girl who had been her sister. She looked very young in the photo, but upon looking through the file, that was the most recent picture of her.

She had bruises all over herself and looked at the camera fearfully, her face pale. Her hair was wet and she looked so much like the six year old that was ripped from Natasha’s hands.

She looked younger than she should be. Natasha quickly did the math, realizing that she would be about 27 years old present day. In this picture, she didn’t even look 15.

Natasha had always wondered if her sister had survived the red room. By the looks of it, she didn't even last ten years since the red room updated the pictures of the girls once a year.

Her emotions overwhelmed her as she looked into the traumatized eyes of her ‘sister’. She should have known the girl wouldn’t last long. She was such a loud, happy toddler and was very clumsy.

Natasha had thought there was some hope for her, though. She had spent the days playing with her trying to integrate things she would need. 

She showed her how to wield gun shaped sticks properly, how to do basic gymnastics and ballet, how to sneak around downstairs at night, and other things in an attempt to prepare her. 

Apparently it wasn’t enough. The guilt began weighing heavy on her.

Her spiraling thoughts were interrupted.

“Nat? Natasha? Can you hear me?” Tony sounded concerned. “Yeah, I can hear you. Sorry.” Natasha forced her voice to stay steady.

She couldn’t bare the information she just found out, though. Her baby sister was gone. Yelena was confirmed to be dead.

“You’ve gotta get out of there, the files should be downloaded by now, right?” Tony asked in her earpiece. He still sounded concerned.

He knew she had some killer PTSD from her upbringing. But that’s not what this was. She was experiencing grief. She’s had to grieve plenty, but this was different. Different from even her fake mothers death.

She looked at the computer, her eyes pulling away from the young girl’s picture. “Mhm, it's done.” She murmured before pulling the hard drive out and pocketing it.

She sprinted her way back out, focusing on the guards she had to take down rather than the confirmed death of her sister.

But apparently, she wasn’t focused enough. She was swept off her feet by an enemy and took a hard blow to the face.

She performed her kip-up before drop kicking the guard and ferociously punching a second one in the groin as she stood.

She continued her way out, making it back to the jet without any other fights.

Tony immediately knew something was off. Natasha boarded the jet all spaced out and handed the hard drive to him without a word before taking her seat.

“Just tell Happy to get us home.” She said when Tony asked what happened in there.

“Don’t wanna talk to me, huh?” He asked with a smirk. His smile fell when Natasha gave him a look.

“Alright, alright. I’ll tell Happy to make it snappy.” He replied, his arms up defensively as he went to the cockpit.

The flight went the same, Natasha spaced out and Tony concerned, trying to talk to her and take her mind off whatever happened but just being ignored or given a look that told him she would hurt him if he didn’t knock it off.

The plane landed midday the next day. Tony got a nap but Natasha didn’t get a wink of sleep. How could she when she had so much to blame herself for? So much to get lost in her own head with?

She was so out of it that she didn’t notice they had landed until Pepper was standing in front of her. “Nat? Hey, what’s going on?” She asked, her tone and expression laced with worry.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Natasha said, standing and slipping by Pepper. “If you don’t want to I won’t force you to, but you really look like you need to talk to someone.” Pepper insisted.

Natasha debated it, “I guess. Can we talk somewhere private?” Natasha asked, although the only people in this tower were her, Pepper, Tony and for now, Happy.

“Of course, let’s go to your room,” Pepper suggested. Natasha nodded and they headed there quietly.

Neither of them spoke until Natasha was sitting on her bed and Pepper pulled the chair from her desk over. “So, what happened?” Pepper asked carefully.

“I had a sister.” Natasha blurted, getting that part out first since the only person that knew about Yelena was Clint.

Brief shock washed over Pepper’s face. Pepper and pretty much all the avengers just assumed she had no family. “Yeah?” She prompted, listening carefully.

“She went to the place I did too. She was taken from me and I haven’t seen her since.” Natasha tried to censor to an extent. Pepper only knew the things about the red room that Nat released to the public.

“Did you see her today?” Pepper guessed in an attempt to make it easier for Nat to elaborate. Tears brimmed her eyes and she swallowed back the lump in her throat.

“I saw a picture of her,” Natasha corrected. “She was so young. Too young. She should be in her late twenties but she was barely a teenager in that picture,” she explained with a voice she failed to keep calm.

“And that was the most recent picture of her.” Natasha finished. Her voice breaking made Pepper’s face pull into a frown and her eyebrows press with concern.

“Oh, honey,” the older woman sympathized, leaning closer to put her hand over Natasha’s. “I’m sorry.” 

Maybe Natasha shouldn’t have talked about it. It felt a bit better to tell someone, but she didn’t need pity and she definitely didn’t need to cry in front of Pepper.

But here she was with a tear falling down her face. “I wanna be alone,” she whimpered out. “Okay,” Pepper said softly, accepting her wishes. “Let me know if you need anything at all.”

Once her door shut, Natasha laid back on her bed and curled up against the wall. She was raised to be tough and never show weakness, but she crumbled at the loss of her sister.

She wept for a while, she didn't even know how long, but she apparently cried herself to sleep. She woke up and looked at her clock. It was midnight.

She was hungry and needed food after the mission, so she went to the kitchen on her floor of the tower and cooked herself some ramen. She ate and watched her favorite movie to try and cheer herself up.

When she was done, she found a hard drive on the counter with a note. 

Nat, you should look through the file on your sister again. I know you might not want to, but I found some information that contradicts what you said earlier. -Pepper

Natasha picked the hard drive up reluctantly and took it back to her room, plugging it into her laptop. She scrolled through the files until she found the one about Yelena.

She opened it, swallowing back a sob as she saw the picture of her baby sister again and was reminded how young she was when she died.

She read through the file through teary eyes, quickly finding what Pepper must have been talking about.

The picture was captioned, “White Widow, 2016.”

That couldn’t be possible. It is 2016. Yelena was born around 1989, she should be much older in this picture.

She looked further into the file, currently in shock. She just spent a day grieving her sister, and she was just told the picture she thought was taken years ago was taken sometime this year?

She didn’t know what to think. She found some info in the file, however. She learned that Yelena was deemed the best child assassin in the world, the date of her hysterectomy was two months ago, she was experimented on and put under mind control--much to Natasha’s horror--, and…cryofrozen? For fifteen years.

She was taken out multiple times for missions and training, so she had aged some since she was frozen, but she’s only about 14 years old, maybe younger still, from what Natasha could tell.

Natasha didn’t know how to take this information. Not only was the red room still active, but her sister never got out. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks but she proceeded to look further.

Yelena was scheduled to be put into surgery that would make her mind control permanent in a week. The scientists had perfected it, and while it was currently able to be broken through with time, it would no longer be possible to reach Yelena through it after the operation.

They had already done it on many widows, but Dreykov did not want Yelena dead. He loved her too much.

Natasha had to grab the nearest trash can to vomit into when she read that part. For one, Dreykov is alive. And for two, he loves Yelena enough to want her alive.

He didn’t care about his widows like that, and Natasha knew he didn’t love her like a father.

Natasha couldn’t take it anymore. She shuddered over the trash can, her white-nuckle grip on its rim only tightening as she tried to gain control of her breathing.

She was no stranger to panic attacks, but this one was unbearable. She threw up again until she fell backwards, unable to do anything but curl up into a ball as she sobbed.

She must’ve caused so much pain. How could she? This was all her fault. Everything that had happened to Yelena—and every other widow still with the red room—was her fault.

Her chest was tight and she couldn’t breath and she felt like she would surely die here. She had to pull herself together but she couldn’t.

She was so helpless lying here in a sobbing ball. She reached up to her laptop and ripped the hard drive out, throwing it across the room.

This all had to be a sick joke. This wasn’t really happening. Yelena was probably better off actually being dead. 

Natasha, once again, didn’t know how long she laid on the hard ground sobbing, but when she got up and went to the bathroom to clean herself and her mess up, she knew what the next step was.

She took a shower to get all the sweat and grime off before grabbing her full-clearance keycard and walking out of her room with a purpose.

Despite her state, she was going to get Yelena. She had to, and she had a one week deadline to get it done. She had the coordinates from the hard drive and she had a contact for whatever she may need. 

She also hoped her friend wouldn’t mind her borrowing his jet.

Chapter Text

Natasha left a note on the common floors’ fridge, she at least wanted them to know where she was in case something went wrong.

“Out on a mission, very confidential. If I’m not back in two weeks, come find me, I’m borrowing your jet.”

She finished it with roughly the coordinates of where she was going and signed it with an hourglass symbol, striding out to the deck and boarding her jet at 1:13 A.M..

The jet had still been checked off after the mission like it would if the Avengers were still fully functional, so she knew she had enough supplies.

She had to make a call before she was in the air, however. She dialed the number on her phone, relieved when her intended contact answered.

“Mason speaking? Who’s this?”

Natasha couldn’t help her smile from the slight sense of security this gave her, making her feel like this plan could actually work. “Hey, it’s Natalie? Remember me?”

“Oh! It’s good to hear from you. What do you need?”

The private contractor's familiar voice flooded Natasha’s ears, “you know me so well. Uhh I need a safe house.”

She finished with the details quickly and Mason said he had an open place in a reasonable spot, complete with a vehicle and hidden weapons if she so needed them.

She then flew the plane with the skills she’s had since she was 11, it not being anything too demanding of her, though it did resurface the memory of escaping Ohio.

Even though it was late and her face was tearstained, the biggest thing on her mind during the whole flight was finding her sister.

She found a place to land that was well hidden and grabbed some supplies from the jet to take to the safehouse.

It was well into the day in Russia, so the sun being up helped give her the energy to start working on her already-slightly-thought up plan.

She had coordinates for the place Yelena was being held at currently, and she knew she was out of cryo freeze until the operation. 

Nat had a decent amount of info to work with. More than enough for an ex-widow, SHIELD agent, and current Avenger like herself to find Yelena and get her out.

The question was: would she alone have enough power and strength to get in, take the base down, and escape with someone who would possibly still be fighting against her?

She had no clue what it would take to get Yelena out of her state, and she wasn’t even completely sure how this brainwashing works, or how conscious Yelena would be.

The thought came to her whether Yelena would remember her or not. Natasha was only her sister for 3 years. Yelena has been in the Red Room and gotten her brain fucked with for 21 years.

She couldn’t think about it too hard, knowing that would distract her and she would worry about that too much. Right now she could only think about getting her out.

Not about after getting her out, not about what her sister would think of her, just getting in, ‘kidnapping’ Yelena, and getting out.

After a few hours, Natasha couldn’t keep her eyes open. She was jet lagged and exhausted from both the mission she had been on and not getting good sleep after and spending many hours crying and grieving.

She double-checked the safe houses’ safety since you could never be too sure, then found her way to bed. 

It was hard to sleep knowing where Yelena was at the moment, but she needed to be ready for the big fight if she wanted to make it out.

After she got her eight hours, Natasha suited up, ate a good meal and loaded the car with everything she would need including: guns, knives, other various weapons, food, water, handcuffs, tasers, and a first aid kit among a couple other things.

She got in the car, getting ready to face the hell hole she thought she killed ages ago.

-

Natasha pulled up near the coordinates, not getting too close so she wouldn’t be detected yet. She first got out of her car and grabbed a sniper rifle from her trunk.

She laid on her stomach, aiming through the scope at the base, which was unsettling to say the least. It was like her body knew by just looking at the place what it was.

She singled out an entrance and snuck her way in without being detected using her useful skill set. She wound up in a crawl space, but it was definitely a way around still.

She in no way had a layout of this place, so it was up to pure luck for her not to poke her head out where she wasn’t supposed to.

She got out in a hallway that unfortunately was identical to the others she’s seen so far. She walked through it, reading the labels on the door in hopes for an indication.

She heard footsteps after she had walked a couple feet down the hall, stopping in her tracks and going silent, pressing herself against a wall.

She watched as a girl with a bag over her head was dragged through the hallway perpendicular to the one she was in. The girl's hands were bound behind her back and she was being dragged by someone wearing armor: a guard.

She was lucky that they seemed to be set on something, because the guard didn’t even notice her. She shadowed behind them, hoping they would lead her somewhere.

Natasha watched from the corner of another hall as the guard took the girl into a door that read “операционная” (operating room).

The woman thought for a second as the door shut behind the pair. She didn’t know if she should risk it all to go in there and see if Yelena was there, or if she should play it safe and keep looking elsewhere.

She ended up walking down the hallway the operating room was situated on, walking past the door and keeping her head down as she walked past the window looking into the operating room which was there for a reason Nat couldn’t explain.

Her curiosity got the better of her and she looked into the room. The room was full of beds, restraints, and medical equipment that just couldn’t be humane.

Natasha had only been in that room once and it was for her graduation ceremony. She wondered how often Yelena had to go to the operating room with the whole mind control thing.

She resisted the urge to swear under her breath as she saw the girl getting the bag taken off of her head and being strapped to the hard operating table.

The girl looked like she was barely an adult, her black hair falling past her shoulders and her tan skin being revealed as the guard stripped her in preparation for surgery.

Natasha looked away for the girl's privacy and continued walking down the hall. She knew she only had a limited amount of time before she was spotted and killed.

She sped up her pace, looking into the rooms as she passed by until one caught her eye. It was labeled, “терапия” (therapy).

Natasha doubted that meant actual therapy or anything good. She looked through the window to see an electric chair and a young girl being forced into it by multiple guards, clearly distressed and resisting.

Natasha was staring intently because the girl’s hair was blonde and she was convinced it was Yelena. She gasped as the girl was hit and then kicked in the legs, causing them to buckle and making her fall on her butt.

The girl was facing Natasha now and Natasha couldn’t believe her eyes. It was Yelena. She was on the verge of crying and in fight or flight, but her face was almost the same as it was when she was six in Ohio.

Natasha moved to try to open the door after she watched the guards hit Yelena, but it was locked. She took a step back and ran up to it, kicking it open with pure strength and adrenaline.

Everyone in the room stopped and turned to the intruder, including the youngest on the floor.

Natasha drew her pistol, making the guards grab theirs too. She shot at them, but the bullets ricocheted off of the armor. “Yelena!” She called out, but the girl looked at her with hate.

Nat quickly charged at the guards. There were only two of them, so she took them down with a couple combos and turned to Yelena. Yelena wasn’t in the same spot, though.

Natasha holistered her gun, holding up her hands up to show she wasn’t a threat. “Yelena, I know you’re scared, but I’m not here to hurt you,” she spoke softly and calmly as she scouted the room for where Yelena could be hiding.

She was caught slightly off guard when she was tackled from behind and shoved against the wall, Yelena’s knife to her throat.

Natasha couldn’t risk it and needed to disarm her. She didn’t know if it was the pure hate and rage in the girl's eyes, but her autopilot kicked in and she shoved Yelena off of her and kicked her.

The woman stepped back to put distance. “I won’t hurt you. I’m your sister, remember me?” She asked, her hands out to try and get Yelena to stand down.

“I don’t know you.” Yelena spat in Russian. Pain squeezed Natasha’s heart at the words. Her baby sister didn’t remember her.

“Yes you do.” Natasha said firmly but still gently, matching the Russian as well. “No!” Yelena yelled as she sprinted at Natasha.

Natasha had no choice but to fight her. Yelena threw a punch right at Natasha’s face that the woman ducked, grabbing Yelena around the waist and spinning around with her to disorient her slightly before pinning her down.

“Please don’t hate me.” Natasha mumbled under her breath as she held the screaming, fighting girl down and placed the handcuffs on her.

This was dangerous but it had to be done, or they wouldn’t get out. Natasha pulled her up, trying to be as gentle as possible while handling the aggressive girl.

“C’mon, Yelena. Let's get you home.” Natasha said in an attempt to sooth her. “I am home, traitor!” Yelena was still shouting the angry Russian words at Natasha.

Natasha didn’t know what to do, but they had to move. She was trying so hard to get Yelena to cooperate.

She was so small though, at least a head shorter than Natasha and practically skin and bones with a decent bit of muscle.

She pulled Yelena along and through the hallways hastily until she was confronted by guards. 

She let go of Yelena to fight them, able to steal one of their rifles and start dumping the mag on the hoard of soldiers. Once they were stunned, she attacked, judo-flipping multiple and killing all of them.

Yet again, she turned around to a missing kidnapee. “Damnit.” She murmured, out of breath. She ran down the hall, searching for the head of this base to take them down before she found Yelena again.

She took down countless guards on the way. It took a toll on her and she was more sore after every wave of them, but she knew she could finish this job.

She eventually found what looked to be an office on the third floor. She rammed through the door with a large gun she took from a dead guard's body.

In the office, she found him. Dreykov, not guarded by anyone. He looked like he was waiting for her, so she walked right in confidently.

She laughed as she looked at the insufferable man. “You’re sick. You know that?” Natasha said, her words venom from her mouth.

“How so, Natalia?” His dumb, gross voice asked from where he was at his desk. “‘How so?’ God, have you ever taken a second to self-reflect?” She spoke with hostility and purpose.

She was gonna end him, right here, right now.

“I have, actually. I do it every morning, these girls-“ he starts, but Natasha doesn’t amuse him. “These girls that you have taken? These girls that you have chemically altered? These girls you have raped? These girls that you have forced to do your evil because you’re too cowardly to do it yourself?”

She could go on, but she had a rogue widow she had to keep in tow so she lifted her pistol, aiming at his leg. She wouldn’t give him the luxury of a quick death. Not after all the painful ones he has caused.

But her gun isn’t working. She looks at it and tries again, sure the safety is off. She squeezes as hard as she can but the trigger is stuck.

“What’s going on? Aren’t you gonna kill me already?” The General’s voice teases like nails on a chalkboard. “Is the safety on?”

Natasha looks at him in disbelief. She was about to kill him and he was teasing her for it. She shoves the gun back in her holster and lunges at him, but something stops her.

Her body physically could not move closer to him. “What are you doing?” She accused. ”I am not doing anything, Natalia.” He said, staring at her dumbly.

Dreykov suddenly lunged out and punched her. She grunted slightly but turned back to look at him. “It’ll take more than that.” She said with a shit-eating grin.

“Will it?” Dreykov said. “Well, your wishes.” And with that, he opened the door and there was Yelena again. “Give her hell, White Widow.”

Yelena ran at her and Natasha countered her force, using it to lay her out on her back. She tried to be gentle, but her assailant was trying to fight to the death, so it was a little hard.

The two tumbled around for a while, Natasha’s nose started bleeding and she could guess it had been broken in the midst of the fight. So far, she and Yelena were each other's match. Neither could beat the other.

Until the General moved closer and Yelena was distracted for a split second. Natasha punched her in a spot and with force she knew wouldn’t maim or leave lasting effects, but it did knock her out.

Natasha forced herself not to flinch at the sight and the guilt. She instead turned around, still crouched on the ground, seeing Dreykov walk towards her.

She was weakened by the exhausting fight, and she feared Dreykov was about to end her as he lifted his leg to kick her. 

But she refused to go out because of such a weak, cowardly man. She readied her gun, and this time, when she pulled the trigger, the sound of the gun rang through the room.

The General fell to the ground with a groan of pain and Natasha gathered the strength and stood up to loom over him.

He was alive but his hand was cradling his leg and he was practically crying like a child. She used all her remaining energy to kick and punch him before taking the butt of the rifle she acquired and killing him with blunt force.

She checked for a pulse even though she knew he couldn’t have survived that force, her eyes lingering on the dent in his head. There wasn’t a single indication of a heartbeat or breathing.

Last time she tried to kill him, apparently she failed. She never checked the body, but now she could be sure.

She then ran back over to Yelena, who this time was right where she left her. Natasha scooped her up in her arms easily. The girl truly was just a child.

She fit perfectly in Natasha’s arms, cradled bridle style to be carried home. Natasha knew she was malnourished and smaller than she should be, wondering the last time the girl had a good, filling meal was.

It took a second to truly feel it, but the sisters were reunited. This time, nothing would separate them.

Chapter Text

Natasha stared at Yelena who was knocked out across the backseat, but they were now in Natasha’s car. Natasha was stuck with a bit of an ethical dilemma.

She really didn’t want Yelena to wake up all aggressive while she was driving or for her to freak out try and open the door, but she really didn’t want to sedate her either.

She knew her being knocked out from the punch wouldn’t last much longer, so should she just wait until she wakes up first?

Natasha decided to drive and just stay off main roads until Yelena woke up, which wasn’t for another hour.

Natasha was driving down a dirt road when Yelena jerked awake, coiling in on herself as she looked around the car frantically.

Natasha pulled over quickly and turned the car off, turning to look at Yelena and putting her hands out in front of herself to show peace.

Once Yelena laid eyes on Nat, she started trying to unbuckle herself, but she was too frantic to manage. “Yelena, hey, shh,” Natasha tried to calm her, but Yelena just looked up at her in horror.

“No, no. You’re not—you’re not real! Go away!” Yelena covered her face with her hands as she yelled out in Russian.

Natasha shook her head. “Yelena, shh. It is me. I saved you from the red room. You’re free.” Natasha said, once again matching the language.

Yelena physically recoiled at the words, peering up at Natasha with her glassy, hazel eyes. “What?” She said with disbelief, staring at Natasha as if she was searching for something that told her she was lying.

“You are free. I killed the General. I am your sister, remember me?” Natasha spoke gently, her mother tongue comforting herself after the recent couple of days she’s had.

Yelena’s gaze seemed distant and glossed over, and she didn’t look like she believed a word Natasha said until she mentioned being her sister.

“Natashka?” The girl said slowly, dreadful confusion in her tone. “Why am I being tested?” Natasha could only watch as the girl slammed a hand against the glass window and yelled out to someone nonexistent. “I have proved I don’t love her! I have proved that I know she is a traitor! Let me out!”

Natasha let the girl scream for a moment, her whiny voice and the words it spoke like a dagger to the woman’s soul, causing tears to prick in her eyes.

Natasha listened as she learned from the girl’s suspicions. Yelena must’ve been conditioned to believe Natasha was a traitor and wouldn’t return for her, if her pleas were anything to go by.

Natasha reached a hand out, trying to show Yelena that not only was she real, but she wouldn’t hurt her. “I’m truly here, Yelena. I took the Red Room down. Can you please calm down?” Natasha asked gently.

Yelena’s head jerked to look at Natasha’s hand. Now that Natasha had her attention, she let out a soft, two note whistle.

Yelena’s eyes seemed to soften with awe and realization and she reached out to Natasha’s hand, brushing her own fingers over it. Yelena frowned and reached her hand up to Natasha’s face.

Natasha would have flinched had she not known what Yelena was checking for. Instead, she allowed it when the girl raked her fingernails over her temple and forehead to check for a photostatic veil.

“Nattie?” The childhood nickname coming from Yelena’s small voice made Natasha’s heart pound. She finally saw her little sister realizing she did come back for her.

“Yes, Yelena. Yes. It’s Nattie, you’re safe.” Natasha said, not expecting it when Yelena lurched forward and wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug.

“You came back! Oh my god, you really did this time??” Yelena’s excitement spilled over. “Yes, I really did. I swear. Cross my heart promise.” Natasha said calmly, very happy that in that moment she remembered the promise she and her sister would make when they were small.

Yelena let out a small whimper at that, melting into Natasha more. She clinged to the woman, grabbing fistfuls of her shirt and burying her face against the crook of her neck as if Natasha was about to disappear right in front of her.

Natasha held her, rubbing her back gently as the girl sobbed and tears began to soak her shirt. “I’m taking you home, little sister. I promise. You are free.”

Natasha thought the words would soothe her but the younger one's breath hitched as she barely croaked out, “the red room is my home,” pitifully. 

“No, no, that place is gone. I’m gonna bring you to my home instead. It will be safe.” Natasha spoke gently, by now having switched to English out of curiosity of whether Yelena would follow suit or if they would just start having a bilingual conversation.

It seemed to be the latter as Yelena continued with Russian. “Your home? In the West? It’s safe?” Yelena said statements but spoke them as questions, so Natasha confirmed them.

“Yes. It is in the West and it is safe. But first, we‘re gonna stay at a safe house.” Natasha stuck with just that, not wanting to spring the idea of Yelena meeting Natasha’s friends on her just yet and keeping it one step at a time.

She figured if she could focus on getting Yelena to understand that the red room is gone first, bond with her more, then play the next part by ear, the two would be at home—together—soon.

Luckily it seemed the hit to the head already took her out of chemical subjugation, making the previous first step easier.

It reminded Nat of when she did that very thing to Clint, only a lot harder and with that purpose rather than trying to just barely knock him out.

Yelena nodded in response to Nat, but stayed quiet. The pair stayed like this, Natasha turned around from the driver’s seat and Yelena on her knees and fully leaned against her from the backseat while sobbing as she took everything in for a while.

It wasn’t until Yelena’s sobs slowed and she looked down at the tear-stained shirt in disgust that Natasha looked at the clock and saw it had been an hour.

Yelena ducked her head down in shame. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry! I don’t- I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” 

Natasha took Yelena’s face in her hands. The girl flinched violently and Natasha frowned. “Punish me however you wish, I want to do better.” Yelena said, her voice hoarse from all the sobbing.

Natasha kept her hands on Yelena in order to show that doing that did not mean she would hurt her. “Yelena, I would never, ever, punish you for crying, okay?” Natasha asked to be sure Yelena heard her, coming back to Russian to be sure the point got across clearly.

Yelena stared up at Natasha, not daring to speak but her expression conveying her disbelief and confusion.

“You are safe with me. That means I will never hit you or punish you. Especially not for showing emotions.” Natasha told her that like it was an oath, but she knew the girl would not believe her. Not for a long time after what the red room did, but she could start instilling it now.

At Yelena’s silence, Natasha turned around to face the front. “Do you want to sit in the front seat?” Natasha asked the question in English and casually, as if everything was normal.

Yelena nodded, so Natasha got out to open her door since it had the child lock on. She also didn’t want to risk Yelena running because as much as she wanted to pretend her sister was back and not under mind control anymore so everything is fine, it didn’t work like that.

Yelena moved to the front passenger seat and Natasha retook her spot in the driver’s seat. “Put your seatbelt on please,” Natasha said as she buckled her own.

Yelena immediately nodded and quickly reached to buckle herself in. “Yes ma’am.” The girl said immediately, the Russian still sticking to her rather than the language her big sister had spoken.

Natasha frowned slightly at the obedience and started the car. “Y’know, you don’t need to call me ‘ma’am’. I’m your sister.” Natasha said with a small smile so Yelena wouldn’t think she was mad.

Yelena gave Natasha a look of confusion but settled into her seat anyways, nodding her head slightly in acknowledgement.

Natasha wondered if the girl’s English was any good still with how she hadn’t quit with the Russian yet. Natasha wondered how often she spoke English in the Red Room, which she could assume wasn’t a lot.

But instead of asking and prodding Yelena more, she decided to give the girl a break before they got to the safehouse.

The sisters sat in comfortable silence for the last small stretch of the ride, Yelena visibly relaxing a little more every couple of minutes.

Soon enough, Natasha pulled into the isolated driveway of the safe house, putting the car into park and turning it off. “This is it. Ready to get out?” Natasha asked carefully.

Yelena turned to look at Natasha with some sort of bewilderment. Yelena hadn’t been able to make choices for years. Why was she being asked if she should get out of a car? And why wasn’t she able to answer?

At her clear confusion, Natasha unlocked the door. “C’mon.” She said simply and softly as she brushed it off and got out of the car.

While she definitely didn’t think such a rhetorical question would be so hard for Yelena to answer in the moment, she knew Yelena had to be—for lack of better words—very fucked up right now, so she didn’t hold her to it.

Yelena followed Natasha’s lead, eyeing the house suspiciously. “It’s okay, Yelena. It’s safe here. I checked it over and over again before I went out for you.” Natasha said, trying to calm the young girl down at least a bit.

Yelena eased a bit and looked up at Natasha from where she was walking very close to the redhead's side. “I trust you, big sister. I would follow you to the edge of the world,” Yelena said honestly and devotedly.

Natasha smiled at the girl despite not expecting that reaction. Having Yelena’s trust already was a huge relief, Natasha had thought it would take a while to earn it. Of course, she didn’t take into account that the girl would likely be desperate for someone to latch onto since she was very much a child still.

Natasha couldn’t deny that part of her had expected to find Yelena as a full grown adult. That part of her couldn’t fathom her sister, who she had been relatively close in age with, would be over fifteen years younger than her all of a sudden.

Natasha held the door for Yelena as she walked in. Yelena hesitated only slightly to get a glance in the place before following Natasha in.

Natasha went to the kitchen, knowing Yelena was probably starving. “What do you want for…dinner?” Natasha said, unsure of the time.

Yelena shrugged. “Why are you speaking like an American?” Yelena said unsurely, referring to the near constant English and the American accent.

Natasha shrugged in response, noticing the way Yelena changed the subject. She realized Yelena probably didn’t know what she could ask for and didn’t wanna say the ’wrong’ answer.

“We can talk after I get food cooking.” Natasha said as she rifled through the fridge, “How does Kielbasa and potatoes sound?”

Yelena eyed her, wondering why Natasha wouldn’t just cook and lay the food in front of her. “I like Kielbasa.” Yelena said, approving the meal.

Natasha nodded and got the ingredients out as she spoke. “I’m speaking English to get you used to it, there will be a lot of it in America.” Natasha explained it softly.

After a couple beats of silence, Yelena spoke again. “What if I’m not good at it?” Her voice was slightly fearful and when Natasha turned to glance at her, her face flushed.

Natasha smiled at her softly to come off as less of a threat. She never wanted to seem threatening to her sister. “That’s okay. I can help you, and they don’t care about accents or anything there,” Nat said reassuringly.

Yelena still seemed nervous but took the answer. “Okay…” she said before falling back into silence. The only sound that filled the room was the sizzle of the meal in the skillet.

It didn’t take terribly long to cook despite Natasha’s unskillfulness. Natasha took the skillet to the table and grabbed bowls and forks.

Yelena sat right next to Natasha, but she didn’t mind at all. She actually liked that her sister was trying to be so close to her because not only did Natasha need the reassurance that she was back, but it also meant Yelena really did trust her.

The two started eating in silence, many questions remaining unasked from the both of them. Natasha was trying to give Yelena a chance to engage, but quickly realized if she wanted conversation, she had to start it.

Yelena was poking around at her food after taking just two bites when Natasha spoke up. “Do you like the food?” Natasha knew she wasn’t the best cook, but she doubted the reason Yelena wasn’t eating quickly was because of that.

“Yes.” Yelena said immediately and with obedience before she looked at her sister and seemed to remember who it was. “You’re no chef, Natasha. But it’s better than anything I’ve had in a while.” She said, though she was timid despite the sentence seeming to be teasing.

Natasha chuckled softly, looking at Yelena. “I’ve been told I’m not a good cook, but I haven’t set anything on fire yet, so I can’t be that bad.” Natasha replied, lightening the tone.

Natasha was rewarded with a small smile from Yelena, which she hadn’t really come by yet. Natasha was already so proud of the progress and they had just gotten home.

Yelena didn’t eat very much, poking at her food and only ending up eating a quarter of the food. Natasha doubted it filled her up, but didn’t wanna push her.

After they ate, Natasha grabbed the plates and washed them. Once she finished, she sighed as she saw Yelena sitting at the table, still wide awake despite the pitch dark outside of the window.

“Are you ready for bed yet? I’m exhausted.” She asked, even though she was positive she knew the answer.

Yelena’s eyes widened slightly but she didn’t answer. She just stared at Natasha for a second before looking down.

Natasha’s face softened slightly. She hated seeing her baby sister like this. She didn’t know what the red room did or how they altered her brain, but it must’ve been bad.

Yelena couldn’t even answer a yes or no question. She had already proved how intensely she trusted Natasha, so Natasha ruled that out with a grain of rice since Yelena could just be struggling to say no or may not know how to follow an unclear ‘order.’

But Natasha didn’t think it was that. She made it clear that she did want to go to bed, so as a widow, Natasha would have answered yes. Yelena, however, didn’t even indicate an answer.

Natasha approached her slowly. “Yelena, if you’re not ready for bed we can stay up and watch a movie or something. If you are tired, we can go to bed though. I’m not trying to order you around. There’s no right or wrong answer.” Natasha made it clear that Yelena could answer however she wanted.

Yelena looked up when Natasha stepped forward. “I don’t know.” She whispered, glancing away from Nat again.

“That’s okay. Do you wanna watch a movie?” Natasha internally cursed herself when she asked another question which was clearly the reason Yelena was struggling in the first place.

She tried to play it off by already walking towards the TV. “C’mon, I’ll show you one of my favorites,” she said with a smile, glancing back at Yelena who had started following Nat.

Natasha grabbed the remote to the small TV and sat down on the couch. She patted the spot next to her for Yelena and started searching for the movie she wanted to watch.

Yelena timidly sat down next to Natasha, leaving some room between them but not more than half a foot. “What movie is it?” The younger one asked curiously.

Natasha smiled at her engagement which she hadn’t seen in a bit. “It’s called ‘Lilo and Stitch,’” she answered with a smile as she clicked the little icon on the TV.

Yelena wrinkled her nose, “Why did Lilo need stitches?” She asked, and it took a lot of power for Natasha not to burst out laughing at her sister’s confusion.

“She didn’t, Lena,” Natasha started, her tone light so Yelena wouldn’t think she was scolding her. “It’s just a name.”

Yelena tilted her head slightly. “That’s a really weird name.” Natasha chuckled and nodded. “I think so too. It’s not the name of a person, though, so it’s not as weird,” the woman replied.

She pressed the play button and the movie started.

Yelena made a couple confused comments at certain parts and seemed to not understand the premise. She made a comment that she didn’t get why they would make something so fake, but she did seem to like it overall.

By the time they were halfway through the movie, Yelena was full on cuddling with Natasha. Natasha had laid back against the arm of the couch so Yelena could lay her head on her chest.

Yelena liked the way she could hear Natasha’s heartbeat. It was grounding and helped her remember where she was. She’s never really felt heartbeats in this way in the red room and it reminded her that she was free.

Natasha loved the weight of her little sister on her. It was like the warmest weighted blanket in the world and she was so relieved that her sister was back.

The weight of her head on her chest told Natasha that Yelena was here. Yelena was safe, and nothing would ever take her from her again.

Natasha felt like everything would be perfect from now on, and nothing could ruin this for her.

Chapter Text

Yelena had been thrown for a loop. She nearly had whiplash from everything that had happened in the matter of a day.

She honestly hadn’t even processed it yet, she just knew she was with her sister somehow and her heartbeat was incredibly soothing.

She wasn’t really able to follow the movie that was playing on the screen because it was weird and a bit confusing and she kept zoning out because she found it hard to focus in general, but she found the parts she was able to pay attention to very amusing.

She hadn’t fallen asleep, but she was more relaxed than she had been in ages. Wherever she was right now was way better than where she was a mere couple of hours ago.

Natasha slowly and gently combed her fingers through Yelena’s hair and rubbed her back in calming motions. Yelena could tell Natasha was about as relieved to have Yelena “home” as Yelena was to be free.

“Free” was a very weird word. Yelena certainly didn’t feel free. She was still haunted. She still felt attached to the mind control and detached from her body. She still felt a looming presence taunting her.

She wondered how far Natasha’s house was. She wondered if it was far enough. She hoped it wasn’t too far. And she really hoped Natasha would keep her promises.

Yelena had been teased in the red room by someone else wearing Natasha’s face, by holograms, by voice recordings, and by news articles about Natasha’s defection to SHIELD and then about her joining the Avengers.

Yelena’s greatest enemy was the Avengers. They were a group of people who thought they were powerful enough to protect the world. They took her sister and they killed people that did wrong.

Yelena was a person that did wrong. Yelena would surely be killed by the Avengers.

She hoped Natasha would take her far from them. She never wanted to face them or speak with them or even hear about them. She wondered if her sister even talked to them still, she had heard of the civil war.

Yelena could feel the change in Natasha’s breathing and the stilling of her hand about an hour into the movie. She knew she had fallen asleep, and Yelena was pretty shocked because of it.

Natasha wasn’t in a bed. There was nowhere to handcuff her to, what would the madames think? Natasha had also just fallen asleep during the movie. Was she allowed to do that? Yelena thought they were supposed to be watching it. What would happen if the General saw this?

Yelena could feel her mind drifting away from her body as her worry rose. She felt like she was losing control again. It felt like mind control, she could see through her eyes but they were just windows for her to peek through and watch as her body did what it was told.

But she wasn’t being told to do anything and she was just lying there on top of Natasha, stressing and freaking out in the reserve of her own head.

—

Natasha woke up to the song of the end credits playing. She took a deep breath and took her hand off of Yelena’s back.

She felt like something was off. Yelena was oddly still. She looked down at Yelena’s head that was still on her chest. The girls' eyes were just looking straight ahead and they looked so lifeless and dull.

Natasha sat up, careful not to spook the girl, she didn’t know what mental state she was in. “Yelena?” She said softly, her voice slightly raspy with sleep.

Yelena didn’t respond in the slightest, so Natasha rubbed her back slightly while she spoke again. “Yelena, are you okay? Can you hear me?” She asked, but still received no response.

Natasha ran a hand over her face to wipe the sleep from it. She had to think of what to do or what triggered Yelena to just look like a shell of herself. Did she fall asleep and wake up from a nightmare? Did the movie scare her? Did she hear a noise?

After quickly filtering through the possibilities, she tried the only solution she could think of and she didn’t know if she was completely stupid for it or if it would actually help.

She pulled Yelena closer and hummed the first song she could think if softly. The teenager was still rigid, but she fit so perfectly against Natasha like this that it at least gave Natasha a bit of peace of mind and comfort.

Yelena’s hollow eyes fluttered and she looked up at Natasha a couple minutes later. Her wide, hazel eyes stared up at Natasha like a doe. “What—where are we? Why are you here? Who are you?” Yelena's Russian voice slipped out of her mouth quickly as she leaned back to better look at Nat.

Natasha shushed her softly, “it’s me, Yelena. It’s Natasha. It’s okay. You’re at a safe house, you’re free from him.” Natasha made sure she spoke barely above a whisper and with a kind voice in Russian, but Yelena still looked at her like she had three heads.

Yelena’s eyes looked like they came into focus a little more, she was actually looking at Natasha and not through her. “Thank you. I thought you forgot about me by now, but you came back for me. Thank you, Natalia,” Yelena’s voice sounded less like she was talking to her big sister and more like she was talking to a God.

Natasha just smiled and nodded, “of course. I never forgot about you, little sister. I never went a day without thinking of you.” And it was the truth. 

Yelena believed her and clung to her, wrapping her arms around Natasha in a tight hug. “I thought of you too. They told me about you, as well. They told me about how you defected to SHIELD and then how you joined the Avengers. I didn’t think you would even want to look for me.”

Yelena’s confession hurt Natasha. She had never meant for Yelena to think she had betrayed her. She thought about contacting her but told herself Yelena was somewhere out there, a grown adult living a normal life. But the knife was twisted when she found Yelena as a teenager, and it felt like it was just twisted and twisted and twisted yet again.

“I knew I’d find you one way or another, I just didn’t know how young you were. I thought you were an adult, Yelena,” Natasha’s soft, lullaby-like Russian cooed. After a second of letting her words sink through to Yelena, she looked down at her, “you must be tired. Let’s get to bed.”

Yelena nodded and stood up, getting out of Natasha’s lap so the woman could stand too. Natasha started walking but quickly noticed her little sister wasn't following. She looked back and recognized the same horrible look in Yelena’s eyes.

“C’mon. We need to get to bed, it’s late,” Natasha made her tone neutral, kind enough to not sound forceful but firm enough to test her theory that Yelena was in a state similar to mind control. She hoped she wasn’t still under any actual chemical mind control and that this was just her mind resorting to what it knew or even just a dissociation episode.

Sure enough, Yelena put one foot in front of the other and followed Natasha. Natasha didn’t know how to feel.

Once they got to the room, Natasha realized Yelena may not be comfortable sleeping in the same bed as someone else. “Yelena, are you okay with sleeping in the same bed as me or would you like me to sleep on the couch?” Natasha made sure to phrase it carefully.

Yelena didn’t even acknowledge that Natasha had spoken, looking straight ahead and standing right next to Nat. “Yelena? Look at me,” Natasha said, and sure enough Yelena obeyed like it was an order.

Natasha let out a clear two-note whistle. Something in Yelena’s eyes changed in a way Natasha knew meant she was back with her. 

—

Yelena suddenly realizes she's looking at Natasha. She realizes quickly what had happened and chokes on her words for a second to figure out what to even say while trying not to cry. “Fuck, I’m-I’m sorry. I don’t…know what happened,” Yelena whispered, her voice quivering slightly.

Natasha nodded with understanding that Yelena couldn’t fathom after coming out of mind control. “It’s okay, Lena. Are you alright?” Natasha’s too-soft-voice asked.

Yelena didn’t know how Natasha wanted her to respond so she just shrugged and looked down. She didn’t know whether Natasha wanted her to lie and say she was okay because that’s all anyone ever wanted from her. They wanted her to be alright so they could take it a step further.

They would never do anything to help her or to stop if she wasn’t alright, but if they asked, then it was usually a trap to get her to admit her weakness. But Natasha wouldn’t trap her? Yelena trusted Natasha. She guessed that was why she went with expressing her confusion rather than lying.

“Let’s go get some water before we get in bed,” Natasha’s voice suddenly came across. Yelena looked back up, tilting her head because how could she get in bed with her sister? “We’re…getting in bed?”

Natasha’s face seemed to drop and Yelena could practically hear her heart skip a beat. “No, Yelena. Never. I never want…” Yelena could see Natasha debating how to put it along with her disgust for having to speak of it. “Yelena, I would never, ever want to have sex with you. I’m sorry for confusing you, I should’ve phrased that better.”

Yelena had to admit she felt ashamed for even thinking that, let alone it being her first reaction. She didn’t understand Natasha’s apology because wasn’t she the one that had misinterpreted something? She accepted it anyway with a nod. Her sister is safe.

Natasha swallowed thickly before restoring her calm, reliable demeanor. “Let’s go get some water,” she said, and Yelena immediately noticed the change to English.

Yelena didn’t hate English that much. But she had no reason to like it and speaking it could be difficult. She could understand it almost completely, just forgetting a couple words here and there, but speaking it had changed since the Red Room.

Yelena nodded and followed Natasha when she started walking to the kitchen. “Do I really have to speak that language?” Yelena asked, refusing to change to English to ask about speaking English.

Natasha nodded. “Yeah, why? I know you said you’re not good at it, but do you not like it?” Natasha asked, no infliction in her voice that indicated she was teasing Yelena.

Yelena got defensive quickly, “I’m fine at it!” She raised her voice at Natasha, who was filling a cup with water. “Of course you are. I know you are, Yelena. I just wanna know why you’re so against speaking English.” Natasha’s voice was too calm and not harsh enough.

Yelena had just yelled at her! Why wasn’t she mad? Yelena should be getting beat for this but Natasha didn’t seem to care at all. All Natasha cared about was de-escalating apparently.

Yelena tried to calm herself from the unnecessary outburst, taking the half-full cup from Natasha and taking a sip before deciding how to respond. “I haven’t spoken English in a long time. I don’t think I’ll remember enough to fit in.”

Natasha hummed with acknowledgment and nodded as she took a sip of water herself. “I appreciate you telling me that.” Yelena tilted her head slightly. Why was Natasha being so confusing? First she doesn’t care that she admitted to not being alright, then she doesn’t care that Yelena misinterpreted something, then the voice raising, now she APPRECIATES Yelena admitting weakness?

What if Yelena needed her English for a mission in order to keep her cover? Could she pull off the accent well enough? Would she remember the grammar and speech patterns? Enough phrases? Enough words?

“Lena?”

“Hm?” Yelena looked up at Natasha, realizing she must have missed a question. “You were getting lost again.” Natasha said with a somber smile. “I’m right here.” Yelena pointed out.

Natasha nodded and smiled slightly wider. “In your head. You do that a lot,” Natasha mentioned. Yelena didn’t know how she should respond to that, her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment. “Sorry,” she settled on, as she shifted her weight around nervously. Natasha gently shook her head.

“Don’t be, we can work on it.” Before Yelena could protest, Natasha continued, “I was asking if you wanted to practice speaking some English?”

Yelena looked up at her sister while taking another sip of her water. She meant to say something after putting the cup down, but couldn’t find any words. Not in any language, she just stared at Natasha again.

Yelena didn’t like the way her vision started changing. Everything seemed to be moving further away from her and she knew she should be answering a question but she just couldn’t and she couldn’t see Natasha’s face very clearly but she knew she had to be annoyed.

Yelena fought to stay present, reaching for her water and taking another sip which seemed to do the trick. She blinked a few times and could see well enough again just in time to hear Natasha.

“We need our rest. Let’s just go to the room and sleep, we can worry about practicing tomorrow.” Natasha didn’t sound annoyed. She sounded kind of concerned again, actually.

Yelena nodded and got out of her seat, following Natasha’s lead who was setting her cup in the sink before walking back to the bedroom.

Once they got there, Natasha started looking through a bag. She was pulling clothes out and handed one pile to Yelena. “Here, these are clean and more comfy,” the older woman said before standing and walking towards the bathroom.

Yelena had already started unbuttoning her pants, not seeing anything out of the ordinary in undressing out in the open. They undressed around other widows all the time in the red room without it being suggestive. Nudity was just casual there, and Yelena didn’t know any different. Natasha looked back to explain as Yelena was already undressing, “I’m gonna go in the bathroom to change. Just for privacy. If you want to go in the bathroom to change you can when I’m done, but if you feel safe doing it out there you can.”

Yelena looked at Natasha with slight confusion but just nodded and continued changing in the bedroom as Natasha closed the door to the bathroom.

Yelena liked the clothes, they were comfy but a bit big, a stark contrast to the tight catsuits and outfits the General liked her to wear and what was practical for missions. 

Natasha walked back out a couple minutes later. She put her dirty clothes next to the bag and then walked over to the bed. She would double check with Yelena about sleeping in the same bed, but the likelihood of receiving an answer was slim to none and she didn’t wanna confuse Yelena anyway. Yelena never said she was fine to share, but Natasha made it clear she didn’t want anything to become of it.

Natasha didn’t want to admit it, but she needed Yelena. She needed to feel her presence and hear her heart beating and listen to her breathing.

Yelena stepped closer to the bed, slightly anxious because of the deja vú this gave her. She trusted Natasha, it was more the motion and familiarity of getting into the bed than the person she was getting into bed with that scared her. 

She heard Natasha speak in soft Russian, her voice cutting through the anxious buzz in Yelena’s ears. “You’re safe, I’m right here. You trust me, remember? I’m your sister.”

Yelena wanted to bolt.

Her wide eyes stared at Natasha who must’ve noticed her instinct because she was standing up and slowly getting closer. 

Natasha stepped forward. Yelena stepped away. Natasha froze to let Yelena process what was happening and try and figure out what to do. Yelena started to feel like there was a huge weight in her chest.

Yelena couldn’t help but start trying to gasp air into her lungs increasingly rapidly, stepping back further when Natasha tried to get close again. Her back hit the wall and the girl flinched violently. Her ears were filled with static and she couldn’t tell what Nat was trying to tell her but she kept getting closer and Yelena could not move.

“Yelena, you need to sit down. Try to breathe in slowly, you’re having a panic attack” Natasha spoke calmly in Russian but nothing she did helped. Yelena kept hyperventilating and she was staring at Natasha.

She couldn’t breathe. She was breathing so fast but nothing seemed to reach her lungs. She was desperately trying to slow down but she just couldn’t. Natasha’s voice was nothing but slurred, static-like mumbles to her ears.

Yelena tried to stay standing so she could at least have the advantage of being able to run. But she couldn’t, she found her body resorting to what it knew to do in this setting and she couldn’t stop it, especially because her mind started playing tricks on her and she could swear there were men waiting on her. She slid down the wall and to the ground then, through her quick, shallow breaths, started speaking hurried, broken Russian words.

“Please, d-do whatever you want, just-..just don’t hurt me. I’ll help you feel-“ she gasped for air repeatedly as tears started falling down her face and Natasha kneeled in front of her. “I’ll help you feel…s-so good…j-just don’t..don’t hurt me…” 

Natasha was making a soothing shushing noise but Yelena’s breathing was too loud in her own ears and her heart was beating wildly against her rib cage. Yelena’s voice trailed off as she descended further into a flashback.

She was still breathing impossibly quick but didn’t fight back when Natasha pulled her against her. Her body went limp against the older woman’s and her eyes closed. She could feel the way Natasha’s chest rose and fell with each gentle, slow breath she took and Yelena eventually realized she had mimicked it while she had been focused on the flashback.

Her breathing was much calmer now and she was brought back to her senses slowly as the flashback left her. She was clinging to Nat, breathing in her scent and feeling her heartbeat. She felt sick, but at least she was calm.

Natasha didn’t make them move. She sat there calmly, humming softly and rocking Yelena back and forth gently. Yelena loved it. It was soothing and as much as she hated that she was being babied, she couldn’t help how nice this was.

She wasn’t a child. She wasn’t small anymore and she didn’t deserve the tenderness she was being cared for with. She shouldn’t be here, in Nat’s arms. But she was, and currently she didn’t even care about it that much, she was just trying to recover.

She didn’t know what happened or why. She didn’t mean to freak out like that and she felt so weak for letting it happen. And she was exhausted. “Nat, I’m tired.” She whispered, feeling safe enough with her big sister to admit to a disadvantage that could be used to kill her.

“I bet. It’s late and you’ve had a really long day.” Natasha’s soft voice whispered back. “Let’s go to sleep,” she said before standing up, picking Yelena up too. Yelena was much too exhausted to fight back or even care that she was being picked up like a child.

Natasha carried Yelena to bed and tucked her in before sliding into bed next to her. She was hoping for a peaceful night's rest, for Yelena to be so tired that she fell asleep quickly and slept through the night. But of course, it was never that easy.

“Nattie?” Yelena’s tired and confused voice questioned. Natasha hummed softly, “hmm?” “Nat, I don’t have any handcuffs.”

Great. Natasha forgot all about that. Widows slept handcuffed to beds, and Yelena hasn’t known anything else in years. She surely wouldn’t be able to sleep without handcuffs.

“I don’t have any, Lena.” Natasha tried to sound as neutral as she could, but she could still feel Yelena squirm slightly. “I need them. They will be mad if I’m not cuffed.” Yelena said, almost starting to panic again.

Natasha moved to grab one of Yelena’s wrists and held it up towards the head of the bed, similar to how it would be if she was handcuffed. “No one will be mad. It’s just you and me here, but if it makes you comfortable, this is the best I can do,” Natasha compromised.

Yelena settled down again, her tired body sinking into the bed now. Natasha felt like she could breathe now, glad her quick thinking solution seemed to work out.

Natasha wasn’t able to fall asleep quickly with the position she needed to sleep in, so she could sense when Yelena fell asleep a couple minutes after settling for Natasha’s hands rather than handcuffs.

It was incredibly rewarding, knowing Yelena trusted her enough to fall asleep so fast. Yelena had spoken her declaration of trust already but now she was showing it to a huge extent, and Natasha was proud.

Widows didn’t fall asleep around just anyone. It was an easy way to get killed or kidnapped, so they all learned that they had to be REALLY picky about who they let themselves sleep around. It was an ultimate feat of trust.

Natasha was able to fall asleep eventually. Her position was uncomfortable but she definitely felt safe. She loved being back with her little sister, even if this was never quite how she imagined it.

Chapter Text

Yelena woke up in a very confused and almost dazed state.

She wasn’t in handcuffs, there was someone in the bed with her and she was wearing clothes that weren’t her’s.

In her sleep riddled mind, she found it fit to get up. She was sneaky enough to get out of the bed without alerting the other warm body and found her way to a window in the room.

She was on the first floor and it seemed like she was in a rural area. It was still very dark out—probably the middle of the night—and she obviously had realized she wasn’t under mind control by now.

No mind control, no handcuffs, no serious injuries? Dead middle of the night without any other houses around? Seemed like it was the perfect time for her to escape the Red Room.

She couldn’t remember the last time she wasn’t under mind control so this was extremely liberating and she probably shouldn’t even be making her own decisions right now but she could, so she did. She started trying to open the window but alerted the stranger in the bed.

She saw them move out of the corner of her eye and without another glance towards them, Yelena smashed her elbow through the window to break it and jumped through it immediately. She started running and, without looking back, she could feel that she was being chased.

Being chased only sent a surge of fear through her but also made her want to turn around and go back since she knew she had been caught anyway. If she kept running she would only be found later on and would either be killed or harshly punished, which wasn’t an ’if’ it was a ‘when’.

Yelena went with the logical choice and stopped running, turning around and putting her hands up in surrender. Her breath was visible as she panted heavily in an attempt to regain her breath.

As the figure got closer, Yelena sank to her knees and kneeled. “I’m truly sorry! P-please punish me, I never want to leave,” Yelena begged and swore, “madame, however you wish, just beat me and it won’t happen again. Remind me to stay!”

Yelena was shocked when rather than receiving a beating while she was down, the madame sat in front of her and tilted her chin up so she could see her. Yelena was begging tears not to fall and trying not to shiver as she laid eyes on her madame or handler or target or whoever it was!

Only it was none of those. It was her big sister, staring at her with big, green, sad eyes. “Yelena, it’s okay. I’m here,” the woman said softly before letting out a familiar two note whistle.

Yelena flung herself forward to hug Natasha, using the hug to hide her own tears but also because she felt like she was being rescued all over again. It was an intense feeling and Yelena wasn’t good with those. But Natasha seemed to be. The woman brushed her hands through Yelena’s hair and spoke in a soft, reassuring voice.

“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe, Lenochka. You’re free and no one will hurt you.” Natasha whispered in Yelena’s ears. Yelena listened closely as she silently cried. Before long the silent cries became strangled sobs as she tried to contain herself but just couldn’t. Natasha remained unwavering despite Yelena crying louder.

Her big sister kept humming softly and occasionally whispering in her ear until Yelena’s cries got quieter and the cold night chill nipped at them noticeably. “Yelena, we’ve gotta get inside. It’s too cold out here.” Natasha said, especially wanting them to get inside because they were both in t-shirts and PJ pants and she could feel Yelena shivering.

“I’m not cold.” Yelena said stubbornly, remembering the cold nights the young widows would spend outside for survival training and how she would be punished if she dared to ask for thicker clothing or to be taken back inside

Much to Yelena’s surprise, Natasha agreed with her and came up with another reason. “I know you aren't, but I am.” Yelena quickly realized staying out here would mean making her sister cold because of her own want to show she was strong, and she felt selfish.

Yelena stood up slowly when a sudden stabbing pain sprouted in her elbow and ran through her arm. She didn’t even flinch, however, being so used to pain she almost needed it to function anyways, not to mention feeling she must hide her weaknesses and anything that could make Natasha mad at her. Without looking at the wound that must be on the back of her elbow/upper arm because otherwise Natasha would have seen it, Yelena knew she had gotten glass stuck in her in the process of smashing the window.

Yelena was suddenly very aware of all she had just done and especially the fact she had cried. AGAIN. When Natasha caught her staring at the soaked fabric on Natasha’s shoulder, she put an arm around her and started walking back. “Everyone cries, Yelena. It’s okay. I cry sometimes.” Natasha made the switch to English to reassure as Yelena leaned into her side. Luckily, the glass was in her arm on the far side and Natasha’s hand was resting on her shoulder.

Yelena wrinkled her nose and looked up at Natasha. “You don’t cry. You’re so strong.” Yelena said, sure of it. Natasha shook her head, “Like I said, everyone cries. It doesn’t make you weak to show your emotions. We are humans and humans have very complex emotions and sometimes our reactions are to cry, or get angry, or even run away.”

Yelena glanced up at Natasha, her glassy, tired eyes blinking slowly. “They made me something that isn’t human, though. They turned me to machine, a weapon.” It was Natasha’s breath hitching and her heart lurching that made Yelena look down at her feet and cling to the pain of her slick, throbbing arm.

Natasha slowly reached out to lift Yelena’s chin, stopping her movement when Yelena flinched minutely and then gently convincing her to look back up. “Yelena, you are still human. What they did was wrong, but now you are free and they are gone. You can express yourself and be a human again.” Natasha said, her voice gentle so it didn’t sound condescending to go against what Yelena said.

Yelena supposed she did like English after all. Natasha sounded just like the little blue haired girl she used to be. It was soothing and familiar - maybe even more convincing than Russian. “I don’t know how.” Her accent was thick and her pronunciation was definitely off as the girl switched to English, making her flinch in fear of being hit like previously when she couldn’t nail a language she learned mere days ago for a mission.

Yelena knew her sudden language switch surprised Natasha, but the woman hardly acknowledged it and just continued with the conversation. Yelena was relieved by it, leaning closer to her big sister. “You can still learn how. It will take time and a bit of trial and error, but I’m gonna be right here with you, my sweet girl,” Yelena peered up at Natasha at the new nickname.

She didn’t hate it. No, not at all. The nickname was sincere. Yelena was Natasha’s, but not in any way she had been anyone’s girl before. This was different. It was endearing and maternal.

The conversation came to a peaceful end now that the girls were reaching the house. Natasha suddenly remembered that Yelena had slammed her elbow into a window, shattering the glass. The woman looked down at the girl who had an arm covered in blood. “Oh, Yelena. Why didn’t you tell me?” Natasha asked worriedly but still calmly as she beckoned to the bloodied arm while they rounded the house to get to the front door.

Yelena was ashamed and didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to provide her previous answer, feeling quite silly about it now because she really did trust Nat and shouldn’t have hid something that hurt, so she stayed quiet and ducked her head down. She realized she forced herself to think that she hid it from Natasha because of different reasons, but really she didn’t want her to fix it.

The pain was familiar and a part of her needed it. Yes, her body was still in pain from the abuse of literally yesterday and the starvation she still couldn’t force herself to overcome, but that kind if pain was different.

Natasha gently reached out and grabbed Yelena’s arm, carefully inspecting it. “Shit, Yelena. You got yourself good,” Natasha said with a soft but worried tone. “C’mon, inside.”

Yelena followed Natasha inside and to the kitchen without another word. She sat at the table while Natasha went to grab a first aid kit. When Natasha came back, she instructed Yelena to put her arm straight out on the table.

Yelena hesitated because this made her think of the medical treatment in the red room. What would Natasha do? Was there even less harsh ways to heal wounds than the way the red room did? Natasha gently spoke up again to remind Yelena what was happening.

When Yelena looked at Nat nervously, the woman spoke reassurances. “It will only hurt while I pull the glass out and if it needs stitches, but it shouldn’t hurt that bad. I can give you some pain medicine if you want?” Natasha offered, but Yelena quickly shook her head. She wasn’t trying to be drugged. Even if it was simple pain meds, she hated being on drugs. She had been forced to do too many in the red room, whether it be for medical or experimental purposes.

Natasha had to bring Yelena back out of her head again, but was still being incredibly patient. “Hey, no pain meds. I get it, Yel. Let’s get this over with so we can go back to bed, hmm?” Natasha’s soft voice lulled Yelena into a sense of safety and because of the trust she had for her sister, she put her arm on the table, giving Nat a clear view.

Natasha counted to 3 before she pulled out the glass. Yelena attempted to suppress the flinch and bit on her lip to stop herself from groaning in pain. Natasha was shushing her softly and humming some song quietly as she continued working on the arm.

Yelena needed stitches, but she handled it very well. She had gotten plenty of stitches before, even stitching herself up a couple times, so it was familiar and she knew what to expect. Natasha carefully cleaned all the blood up when she was done and wrapped the wound in simple gauze and a bit of medical tape.

Once it was all cleaned up, Natasha stood up and gently hugged Yelena, kissing her forehead softly. Yelena basked in the affection, leaning into the touch. She hadn’t received such a tender kiss in so long, let alone one from her big sister. 

“Let’s go to sleep, c’mon Yelena,” Natasha whispered as Yelena slowly stood up. She hadn’t lost a significant amount of blood, but it still made her feel weak. Natasha took a step closer so she could wrap an arm around Yelena’s shoulder and pull her in gently.

The two went to the bedroom and Yelena realized all over again she would have to sleep without handcuffs. It caused her distress but ultimately, Natasha calmed her enough to get her to sleep.

It was amazing how Yelena could sleep while being in such pain. She basically had a stab wound and was barely phased. It was a testament to how much she had to endure in the red room, how much pain she had to hide and how normalized it was.

Yelena was able to sleep on and off, though she would repeatedly wake up from night terrors. She screamed multiple times that night and cried too much. It was like a cycle. She went to sleep, woke up as soon as she got into REM sleep, sobbed, screamed, and flailed her arms around in an attempt to fight while Natasha comforted her, then she would fall asleep out of pure exhaustion. Natasha knew it had to hurt her injured arm, but it was the least of Yelena’s worries.

-

Yelena woke up for the day at 10 am. Enough of the exhaustion had melted away from her and she was already upset with how late in the day she woke up. Natasha assured her it was okay and they had no other plans. Even when Yelena asked about training, Natasha said no. Yelena was still speaking English even if she wasn’t very good at it. She was still scared and nervous about it but she wasn’t as opposed now.

The girls eventually got to the kitchen and Natasha started cooking some brunch. Yelena was unfamiliar with the term so Natasha explained it and they talked some more while she cooked. They didn’t talk about anything specific or anything that mattered, mainly about what they should do for the rest of the day and it concluded that they would simply rest.

Yelena didn’t understand how someone could be so unproductive and lazy, but felt more comfortable when Natasha suggested going on a run later to get some energy out and get breath some fresh air.

The brunch was good, Nat had made bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches and they started talking again. Yelena realized the slight change in her sister’s tone after a moment. 

“Yelena, at my home in America, we are gonna be living with some other people.” Natasha was beating around the bush and Yelena could tell. She just took another small bite of her food, having eaten three bites now while Nat had eaten half her sandwich. It felt weird to fill the hunger in her stomach when she hadn’t done anything special to earn it.

Natasha sighed, “the Avengers are like family to me. We are living with them. In Avengers tower.” Natasha was clearly unsure of how Yelena would react but there was no other way to explain it.

The girl tensed up right when she heard the word “Avengers” and tensed even more when she heard she would be living with them. “Like the ones you left me for?” Yelena said, suddenly more upset than she should be.

Natasha glanced away for a second, regretting bringing it up even though she knew it had to be done. “Yelena…” she started, but was cut off. “Family? You left me and found a different family because I was too hard to get to? I wasn’t worth it?” Yelena switched to Russian out of anger as she accused harshly, getting up from her seat.

“Yelena, please sit down.” Natasha feared Yelena would bolt again. “That’s not what I meant,” the woman said very calmly. Yelena scanned her very closely before huffing in frustration.

Natasha was right, that wasn’t what she meant by that. Yelena trusted her, she should at least hear her out. The girl sat down and rubbed at her eyes to try and get her stubborn, angry mind to focus and listen. She looked down in shame and waited for Natasha to continue.

Yelena wasn’t looking, but could feel Natasha’s gentle gaze. “Thank you. Can I continue?” She asked, and it was a genuine question. Yelena just nodded. “Can you answer with words?” Natasha encouraged gently. “Yes.” Yelena replied back.

Natasha nodded, “okay, I’m sorry that you feel like I left you for the Avengers but that isn’t what happened. I needed out. I couldn’t stay in the red room any longer-“

“And I could?”

Natasha swears her heart breaks more everytime Yelena does this. Especially now that Yelena’s lower lip was slightly wobbling the same way it did when she was a toddler and the anger had left her tone.

“No. You couldn’t. That’s why I tried to get you out too. I thought I did, Lena, I really did. I thought everyone got out and I have thought that for a very long time. I didn’t know he was still alive until I found your file in a computer a couple days ago because I killed him years ago. I blew up nearly a whole city to kill him too, I still don’t know how it didn’t work.”

Yelena looked up at Natasha again, her eyes completely serious with conditioned professionalism. “He knew you were coming. You got out and he knew so he prepared.” Yelena was able to explain it simply which was surprising to Natasha because that meant Dreykov probably told her.

Natasha took a breath to gather her bearings before she spoke again. “I had no clue. I took measures to ensure I got him, we stalked him for days... I’m sorry Yelena, I should’ve done more.” Natasha said, genuine, raw sorrow and sadness in her voice.

She truly was sorry, Yelena could tell. But could you really forgive someone for that? Natasha had left her in H E L L. Yelena wasn’t even a human in there. Yelena nodded to signal Natasha to continue—to say that she couldn’t say she forgives her, at least not yet.

Natasha took the hint and swallowed the hurt. “Like I was saying, after I got out, there was only one place for me to go. I had the perfect skills, I had someone on my side and it was a way to fix the blood I spilled. I became an agent of SHIELD. Later, they recruited me to become an Avenger and I got very close to the other Avengers. We mostly all lived together in the tower, our headquarters, and it’s been like that until recently.”

Natasha was very steady with her voice as she explained and she was watching Yelena closely for any signs of the emotions she was feeling. Yelena couldn’t listen to everything Natasha was saying. Yelena noticed her own attention span was short and how her brain physically couldn’t process half the words. It was like the movie last night, how she couldn’t focus. She was able to focus for a couple seconds before her brain gave out and she zoned out for a second or two, then she had to keep piecing together the holes of the conversation. The longer she needed to focus, the longer she would zone out.

Yelena nodded, swallowing a bite she had taken of her sandwich. “And that is where we go?” She asked, looking up at Natasha again. “Yes, we are going there. I was thinking tomorrow we would get to the jet and find our way back home,” she answered, “but if you need another day we can stay another day here. I just think it is safer to get home sooner.”

Yelena didn’t know how to feel about this whole situation because on one hand: she fully trusted Natasha, but on the other: she didn’t like the Avengers and if she was being honest, it was scary.

Yelena just shrugged and shoved her half eaten sandwich away from herself. “I am full.” Natasha picked up both their plates since she was already done with her sandwich even though she knew Yelena was not full. “Think about it. If you have questions, ask.”

“I do not want Avengers. We stay here.” Yelena said as she turned to look at Natasha. “We can’t stay here, I have work and a home in America. Why don’t you wanna meet them? They are all nice, they won’t hurt you,” Natasha said as she started hand washing the dishes.

Yelena supposed Natasha wouldn’t take her to people that would hurt her, but she was still nervous. She trusted her sister, but not these Avengers. “They hurt bad people, no?” She asked, tilting her head. “Well, we do, but that doesn’t affect you. You aren’t a bad person.” Natasha spoke and glanced over at Yelena.

Yelena noticed the way Natasha said “we” when she talked about the Avengers. It made her realize she had been talking to an Avenger this whole time. Still, Natasha was her sister so it made it feel different. But maybe it wasn’t? Yelena didn’t know how to look at it.

Yelena shrugged. “I am,” she mumbled in response to what Natasha had said. Natasha set the dishes down to dry and walked over to Yelena. “No, you are not. You are not a bad person, Yelena. You were just controlled by one but that is not your fault,” Natasha said, speaking firmly to get the point across but the expression on her face was soft and comforting.

Yelena looked down at her hands, picking at the skin around her fingernails nervously. “It doesn’t change what happened.” Yelena stated, wishing her voice was less quiet and timid. Natasha put her hands over Yelena’s, causing her to flinch slightly but also getting her to quit picking her cuticles. “It doesn’t,” the woman agreed, “but was it your fault?”

Yelena looked up, confused. “Yes.” She said like it was obvious. “Lena, did you choose the people you wanted to hurt, make the plans to do it, gather the load out, then follow through with the plans willingly? All on your own terms?” Natasha asked specifically.

Yelena thought about it for a second before speaking, shame in her voice. “In training, sometimes I did all-“ Natasha had to interrupt. “Not in training. You were only doing that to survive, it was kill or be killed.”

“Then no, but it was my hands.” Yelena said, her voice breaking slightly. She has never been proud of most of her kills, regretting almost all of them. Her eyes were filled with unspoken guilt and fear. Natasha pulled her in for a hug, carefully wrapping her arms around her and whispering in her ear. “You had no choice. I forgive you. We forgive you. The Avengers will not hurt you for anything ‘you’ did because it wasn’t truly you.”

Yelena could feel tears brimming in her eyes at the thought of forgiveness. She was a murderer, an elite spy, but in her sister’s arms, none of that mattered.

Chapter Text

“Here, put this coat on,” Natasha told Yelena as she took the coat from her hand. Yelena shrugged it over her shoulders and moved towards the door.

“Now we can go?” Yelena asked, ready to get some of her energy out. She had trained every morning she wasn’t in cryo-freeze in the red room, so it was something like a relief to be able to go on a run.

Natasha nodded and beat Yelena to the door, opening it for her before following her out. Yelena looked out at the baron landscape in front of her. Well, baron except for the frosty grass, dirt road, and the car in front of her.

Natasha took the lead and started jogging down the dirt road. Yelena followed, but tried to rush the pace. “Yelena, slow down. Stay with me, it’s gonna be a long run,” Natasha warned, but Yelena of course thought differently. “You’re going too slow, if I can go faster, I should,” the girl argued.

In the Red Room, falling behind the group while they were out on runs was unexceptional. This made it somewhat prestigious to be towards the front.

Yelena wanted to assert that over Natasha, wanting to impress her and show her that she was still physically capable of anything even if she kept showing weakness through emotions. Maybe if the Avengers didn’t like her at first, she could exchange her favors for their tolerance and then she would be able to stay with Natasha more.

That’s what everything was. Favors and competing to earn them. Yelena wasn’t about to fall behind just because she had been rescued, she needed to earn Natasha still. At least it felt like it, like the stakes were that high.

That’s why Yelena almost didn’t notice it.

The sisters had just ran to the bottom of a hill since they were in a part of the run with small hills. “Lena, you’re out of breath, fall back with me. This run isn’t to push you, it’s to get some fresh air. Just enjoy it!” Natasha said with a cheerful tone, trying to get Yelena to loosen up.

Yelena turned around to look at Nat, this being the fourth time she was told to slow down. “Let me go faster!” She said before gasping for breath, “I’m not child, I won’t break!” Yelena exclaimed before she did see it: the thin, red stream of light leading right to the back of Natasha’s head.

Yelena jumped forward without a second thought, the bullet barely missing them as the two toppled to the ground. Yelena sprawled herself over Natasha, using herself as a shield. Yelena looked up, understanding it must have come from the other side of that hill. “Nattie?? Are you okay?” Yelena asked to which Natasha nodded quickly. “Yeah, you?”

Yelena nodded as well. The bullet luckily hadn’t struck either of them, but obviously the bullet didn’t appear out of thin air. Yelena got off from on top of Natasha and both the Widows rolled to lay on their stomachs and look at the top of the hill.

They were both deadly silent, trying to listen for the shooter’s movements as they regained their breath. They heard the gun reload, “Marksman rifle, high caliber,” Yelena concluded based on the deep sound of the reload and the actions she could hear taken to reload. Natasha nodded in agreement and moved to crouch. Yelena did the same and they both moved forward slowly.

A woman suddenly launched herself at Yelena, engaging in the immediate spark of combat. The woman launched into a take down move, hanging onto the small girl around the neck and sweeping her feet while forcing her own weight backwards, causing Yelena to fall and smash her face against the dirt. The younger one quickly moved on top of the woman and pushed her back down. Yelena threw a punch, dodged a counter, and pinned the woman, giving herself enough time to figure out why Natasha wasn’t helping her.

It turned out Natasha was busy fighting another woman, only that one had a dagger and was slashing out at Natasha rather than using less lethal measures like the woman that was fighting Yelena was doing. These women must be Widows. That was the only thing Yelena could think of because not only were they dressed like them, but they fought like Widows too.

Yelena was just about to look back down at the woman when she felt the cold barrel of a handgun on her stomach. “I do not want to hurt you, White Widow. We only want to take you home, protect you from this petty traitor.” The woman said. She was pinned beneath Yelena yet still had the upper hand because of the gun aimed right for her stomach. That’s not to say Yelena couldn’t turn this around, had she only been given a chance.

Natasha was suddenly swapping places before Yelena could fix it herself, pushing Yelena off the dangerous widow. The gunshot rang out immediately but the only thing Yelena could understand was that Natasha and her had switched opponents. Yelena was now fighting the one with the dagger and Natasha was against one with a gun.

Yelena’s new opponent took the second Yelena was distracted by the gunshot to slash at her forehead, not very deep but effectively blinding the girl with her own blood. Wounds to the head bleed a lot no matter how deep it is and applying a tourniquet was out the window.

Yelena wiped the abundant blood out of her face as she struck out to the Widow. The Widow put her knife away and Yelena assumed it was because she wasn’t trying to kill her, she was trying to return her to the Red Room. Damnit, Yelena knew it. She knew she wasn’t safe. She knew it was a matter of time before they wanted her back. Her and the Widow began exchanging blows and ended up wrestling on the ground. 

Yelena couldn't make time between fighting to wipe her blood very often, but she could fight blinded. It was a lot harder than usual though and she couldn’t even try to keep an eye on Natasha. She knew it was a shootout going on by the sounds. God, the shots were deafening, and not just literally. Yelena had to listen to all the many shots while only seeing the red liquid that contaminated her eyes and could only pray for each shot that it wasn’t the one to take her sister down. And pray she didn’t catch a stray.

Yelena had no clue what happened by the end of it. She just knew it ended with the Widow she was fighting going limp in her chokehold. She wiped the pouring blood from her eyes to quickly find Natasha who had also delivered the last blow to her opponent recently.

Yelena rushed over on unsteady legs, having lost quite a bit of blood by now, not just from the forehead cut alone, but she had also popped all her stitches in her elbow and it was practically spewing. “Natasha! What was that??” Yelena asked in a panic, the feeling of the Widow’s limp body still freshly engraved in her memory. Collateral damage on her hands.

It was the way Natasha slowly looked up and even slower pulled her hand away from her side that worried Yelena. “Damn, are you okay??” Yelena asked before she noticed the excess blood staining Natasha’s side. Natasha took a step towards Yelena. “Back to the house, now. Come on. We need to-…we need to get in the car..” Shit this was not good. Nat was slurring her speech and struggling with words.

She had definitely lost too much blood already, but she still started trying to walk and all Yelena could do was follow her and match her quick pace even if it was likely only quick because Natasha was still in shock. But that’s okay, so is Yelena. Both the sisters put pressure on their own wounds, Yelena on her arm since that one was easier to put pressure on. “Are you okay, my sweet girl?” Natasha asked Yelena, reaching out with her blood-covered hand to try and wipe some of the blood off of Yelena’s forehead.

Yelena nodded, her ragged breathing and uneven walking betraying her, “I’m fine. They-they want to take me back!” Yelena could not contain her own fear of going back. “They tried to kill you because you were in way, but they didn’t try and kill me because I’m supposed to go home.”

Natasha knew it was true and they were both so beat up, not to mention there was likely more Widows coming. There wasn’t much comfort that could be offered, but Yelena could tell Nat was trying. “I know, I won’t let them. You won’t be taken from me again, I swear, Lena. I swear.”

They both understood what was happening, or at least they both knew the pieces of the puzzle. Those women were black widows. They were still under mind control, though it’s unclear who is controlling them since Dreykov was definitely dead, but it was clear that they needed Yelena back. Natasha is probably not a target necessarily, she is likely just in the way.

The walk was agonizing as both the girls limped and tried to stop themselves from bleeding. Yelena needed to keep pressure on her popped stitches but also couldn’t see unless she was pretty much constantly wiping away the mixture of sweat and mainly blood from her eyes and forehead. Natasha wasn’t doing so well but was forcing herself to stay together for Yelena.

Yelena figured they were almost ¾’s of the way to the car when Natasha had started walking too slow and was hunched over, not able to hold her own weight. Yelena wiped the blood from her eyes one more time before she wrapped an arm around Nat and let her lean on her for support. Natasha was reluctant since Yelena was hurt too but ultimately didn’t have a choice because of how hurt she was and how much blood she lost.

“It’s okay, Nattie. Come on, we’ve gotta hurry,” Yelena urged and Natasha groaned in pain but started trying to walk faster. Yelena could hear  footsteps start running up on them and had to start running with Natasha. Natasha almost yelled out in pain, clutching her abdomen as she stumbled to keep up.

Yelena could only hope her adrenaline would be enough to get both herself and her sister to the car, she knew they had both lost more than enough blood for the symptoms to kick in. 

They were being chased and couldn’t run fast on their unsteady legs, but did get a head start. That being said, Yelena took Natasha’s widow's bytes from her wrist and put them on her own before just barely being able to let go of Natasha by the car then immediately having to leap into the next fight.

It was one widow who wasn’t armed with anything but a knife. Yelena was able to wipe the blood from her eyes before she started fighting again though, which was a plus. She surged forward and landed a punch to the Widow’s jaw but was then kicked in the ribs. She was able to catch the Widow’s leg before she got it beneath her and flipped her to the ground. On her way down, the Widow was able to slash Yelena’s leg but before she could retaliate any more, Yelena delivered a shock to her with the Widow’s bytes and knocked her out.

Yelena wiped her eyes and got back to Nat as quickly as she could, helping her up quickly. “I’m back, fuck! Are you okay?” Yelena asked frantically, getting Natasha in the passenger seat. “I’m fine…” Nat said with a very weak voice and a grimace that betrayed her. “You-you can’t drive, Lena. You’re hurt too..” Natasha said, grabbing Yelena’s uninjured arm before she could walk over to the driver’s seat.

“What? You’re gonna drive?” Yelena said sarcastically. Nat looked at her with an unsure look but let go of her arm. Yelena quickly got in the driver's seat and started the car, wasting no time to pull out of the driveway. Every movement of her arm hurt terribly and her vision kept getting covered by blood, not to mention she’s only driven a car, like, once, but she had no choice but to drive. At least she could rest her wounded leg, though it was currently bleeding down to the floor and getting all over. So was her arm. But more than that, Natasha’s stomach was bleeding. The woman was doing a good job holding pressure, though.

Yelena ripped off the sleeve from her coat and ripped it in half, tying a tourniquet right above her knee and another on her arm while still keeping control of the car.

Natasha whimpered in pain as the car hit the bumps on the dirt road. She became more lethargic by the second, so Yelena figured she should talk to her and ask questions to be sure she stayed awake. It was probably better for both their sake’s anyway, Yelena needed to stay alert too. “Sky looks like it’s getting cloudy, you think it will rain?” Yelena started and watched as the heavy-eyed redhead forced herself to look up slightly.

“Probably snow,” Nat replied simply, furrowing her eyebrows. Yelena nodded, “yeah, maybe. When was last time you saw snow? Aside from Russia?” She asked, bringing the hand that wasn’t holding onto the wheel up to her face to wipe some blood away. She winced in pain and her ears rang a bit, blocking out Nat’s answer. She did hear it when Nat muttered, “you’re hurt…” like she was just now noticing the girl drenched in blood.

Yelena shrugged. “It happens,” she said, peering over to see the soaked spot on Natasha’s side before sensing something was off and looking in her rear view mirror. There was a tactical truck moving quickly up on them from behind. Yelena swore and stepped harder on the gas. “Nat, where is jet?” She asked hurriedly, this time not just to keep the both of them alert.

Natasha groaned and shook her head, falling more lethargic. “Nat, seriously,” Yelena stressfully swiped the blood from her eyes, “where is it?” She raised her voice slightly but only to be sure she was being heard clearly. “The jet?” Nat mumbled as she looked to Yelena, who now had to keep both hands on the wheel and her full focus on the road because they were nearing 75 miles per hour at this point.

“Yes, the jet. Where is it?” Yelena pressed harder. “Up in the….the field. There’s lefts…” Natasha said nearly incoherently. Luckily, to Yelena’s trained ears, she could make sense of the words and adjusted her attention to make left turns and find a field.

She was still keeping a decent distance between their car and the truck, but Yelena couldn’t risk trying to shoot at them. She knew there was a rifle in the backseat and she hoped it was loaded, but there was no way she could stop controlling the car with their speed.

Yelena had gotten the chance to ask Natasha one more meaningless question and ended up tearing off a shirt sleeve to stuff into Natasha’s wound. Packing gunshot wounds helps with clotting and stops the bleeding, something Yelena really should have thought of earlier. But, after she got that situated, the truck started shooting at them. Yelena could see the jet, luckily, but it was still a good walk away.

First, the rear window got shot out, causing Yelena to swerve which jolted both of the sisters. It hurt Yelena’s slash and stab wounds so bad that she couldn’t imagine what a gunshot wound to the gut would feel like. Yelena was also pumped so full of adrenaline and it only spiked more at the gunshots, which she could almost say she was lucky for because she was sure that was the only reason she hadn't started going symptomatic and lethargic like Nat or passing out or anything.

It still caused more harm than good with them being shot at, their back right tire got shot out and Yelena was so inexperienced with driving cars that she spun out immediately. She was able to brake quick enough for it not to hurt her or Nat too much, luckily.

Yelena moved quick to grab the rifle, which, just like she had hoped, was loaded and ready. Yelena needed to protect Natasha but also herself because she was their real target and she would do no good saving Natasha’s life if she was back in the red room.

Yelena cleared her vision, painfully hoisted the gun up into position, and faced the pain of walking and controlling a gun with tourniquets and wounds. She pushed through, shooting at the truck that was still driving towards her. The truck was armored but when she hit a tire with enough rounds it popped and the truck came to a quick stop without losing control like Yelena had.

Yelena watched with horror as the heavily armored Taskmaster stepped out of the vehicle.

She was the one Widow Yelena knew could overpower her. Despite knowing it would be in vain, Yelena shot at her, and sure enough not only was her suit bulletproof, but she quickly wielded her shield and blocked the bullets too.

Yelena swore under her breath, knowing the fight would not be going in her favor, but she was still gonna fight tooth and nail for her sister.

Yelena threw the gun down and charged forward, sliding underneath Taskmaster’s arm when she went to tackle her. The girl gritted her teeth as she felt her wound on her leg be pulled further apart by the friction of sliding on the ground, dirt going into the open wound too.

Taskmaster quickly turned around as Yelena stood up. “Stop fighting, I’ve sent multiple widows after you already and you are clearly injured,” the suited woman said firmly and near-robotically. Yelena was struggling to even stand but shook her head.

Yelena moved to disarm Taskmaster of her shield but Taskmaster slid to dodge, not having as much momentum as Yelena did but still copying her defense. 

Taskmaster stood and came at her, pinning her to the ground before pulling out a pistol and forcing it into Yelena’s mouth. Yelena heard the gun click and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt Taskmaster’s cold, armor-gloved hand aggressively wipe her eyes free of blood, at least for the time-being. “Look at me, White Widow. That is a command,” Taskmaster ordered harshly, pushing the gun further into Yelena’s mouth as she spoke.

Yelena’s body refused to disobey and her eyes snapped open, staring into the eerie mask of the much stronger widow.

“There is a chip. A chip in the back of her neck and it tells her what to do. That was Natalia’s fault, she blew my daughter to pieces. Just look at how hard she is to look at now…”

The back of her neck. Yelena needed to get the chip out of her neck, Dreykov had bragged about it one day when Yelena drank with him.

Yelena listened as Taskmaster ordered her to get up so she could take the gun out of her mouth. Yelena obeyed and then Taskmaster ordered her to start walking, which she did and Taskmaster followed right next to her.

After about three steps toward the truck, Yelena collapsed. Taskmaster hardly flinched, knowing Yelena hadn’t passed out so she kept walking and simply said, “get back up” but before she could even finish the sentence, Yelena had already stood up and stepped towards her silently and ejected the chip.

Yelena watched as the woman fell to her knee but she couldn’t watch much longer because she needed to get back to Natasha.

Yelena turned around and got to the passenger seat—also grabbing the gun on her way back just in case—with the little strength she had left, then forced herself to conjure up even more to hoist Nat out of the car and support most of her weight as they walked the couple of yards left to the jet.

It opened up automatically and a strange robot voice came over the speakers when Yelena entered with Natasha. “Welcome, Black Widow,” it said, “would you like to engage the automated return home protocol?”

Yelena did NOT want to meet the Avengers, especially since she was hurt and kind of defenceless, but it was her only option. She had nowhere to go or else Nat was going to die and Yelena probably would too. 

Yelena was nowhere near an expert but she figured it probably needed Nat’s voice to work. She nudged Natasha who gasped slightly at the pain it caused but was luckily able to call out, “yes, engage.”

The robot continued, “confirmed. I will take control once the jet is in the air.”

Yelena took Natasha to the cockpit with her and sat her in the copilot chair. Yelena had never flown a jet like this and usually didn’t fly herself for missions, but with her adaptability she was sure she could figure it out. It wouldn’t be her first time flying a jet, anyway. She has flown a couple times and was taught by the best, Sir Magnovosky.

She was able to get the jet in the air and then took Natasha back to the seating area. She sat her down and went to find the first kit she was really hoping this jet had.

She found it and meticulously fished the bullet out when she couldn’t find the exit wound. She put the Quick-clot in the wound and wrapped it up tightly until it stopped bleeding through the gauze, the next best thing she could do from stitches.

She gave Natasha an antibiotic to stop infection then had to decide which wound of her own to care for.

She didn’t have enough materials after cleaning Nat’s wound and dressing it to patch up all her own injuries, so she helped what she thought needed it the most and ignored what she didn’t.

Her forehead was only bleeding sluggishly by now and it wasn’t nearly as deep as her other cuts, so she left that be, and the cut on her leg was longer and more painful but not as deep as the stab wound on her arm. She decided to fix up her arm a bit by wrapping it and re-tightening the tourniquet and was also able to put a grand total of two steri-strips on the slice in her leg, which did practically nothing but was better than literally nothing. She also re-tightened that tourniquet too.

Yelena found a bottle of water and some beef jerky that she was able to get Nat to drink and take a couple bites of. “You need strength back, it tastes good too,” the girl said and she pretty much forced the small piece into Nat’s mouth but she did end up chewing and swallowing it.

She drank the water no problem but made sure to leave some for Yelena, which the girl drank easily after smelling and tasting a small amount to ensure it hadn’t been spiked. She did the same with the beef jerky even though both items had been sealed, she just had to be safe.

Both the sisters had eaten and got their wounds healed as much as they could, now the only thing to do was wait until the jet landed and keep each other awake.

That would be a bit tough as both the Widows had lost a lot of blood, making them loopy and lethargic, and Yelena was terrified to meet the Avengers.

She gripped her gun close to her and feared for when the jet would land. She did not want to let anyone near Natasha.

Chapter Text

Everything had gone by with a blur and Yelena had only just barely begun coming out of survival mode when the jet landed.

Yelena had continued to do everything she could for Natasha but couldn’t keep her stable. She kept her big sister alive, yes, but it was a true struggle and Nat was falling in and out of lethargic consciousness.

When they landed—which Yelena was too out of it to even notice—Natasha was on the ground and Yelena was putting pressure on her wound and taking her pulse. While she was kneeled down, the main door to the jet opened automatically.

Yelena startled so hard she fell backwards and scrambled for her gun; she had luckily left it right behind her. Once she looked up again, her eyes landed on a scrappy looking man with fancy sunglasses, a tidy goatee and nothing but pure confusion and concern on his face.

“Pep, you’re gonna want to come here…” the man called back to the outside of the jet with disbelief. Yelena aimed the gun towards him the second he tried to take a step forward. She panted with panic and fatigue as she gazed down the sight of the gun.

The man stopped once he saw the small girl point the large gun at him, putting his hands up in surrender and speaking in an oddly teasing voice. “Listen, Blondie, you seem pretty messed up but you also seem to have my friend there. How about we put down the—“

“Shut up! Stop, get away from her!” Yelena began to yell at him, her voice unfortunately snitching about her true condition. To her great surprise, the man stepped back. “I’m away. Wanna tell me what ha—” 

Yelena didn’t know what on Earth happened next but she saw a person running towards her sister, screaming the woman’s name, and Yelena immediately opened fire.

Instead of the bullets landing and doing their job, a strange, red light-seeming thing surrounded them and they all fell pathetically to the floor. Next thing the young girl knew she was somehow thrown multiple feet up and slammed against the back wall of the jet with the mysterious force and a suspiciously large amount of strength that absolutely winded Yelena when she hit the wall.

She let out a grunt of pain and wheezed for air once she landed on the ground, tensing up as her full body bruise gained its own full body bruise. The girl felt nothing but pain and her ears were ringing harshly, but above it she could hear who she presumed was the same man yelling, “damnit, Wanda! I told you to stay away until it was safe!”

Yelena tried to breathe air into her impossibly small-feeling lungs but all she did was produce a sad wheezing sound. She looked up and saw that the person that had run onto the jet, supposedly ‘Wanda’, was kneeling by Natasha now, clearly yelling frantically but it was too mushy for Yelena to decipher with her ringing ears.

Yelena tried to get up but stumbled. She settled for grabbing the gun she had dropped a foot or two away from where she fell and rather than aiming it, tucked it against herself so it couldn’t be taken and yelled, seeing as the bullets wouldn’t do shit anyway.

“Get off of her! She’s hurt!” Yelena pleaded, fresh blood trickling down her face yet again. She then could only watch as another redhead walked in on the bloody mess that was the jet.

This new woman was older than the one currently kneeled over Nat. That girl was probably just barely in her 20’s while the one that just barged in was roughly the same age as the man.

The woman gasped, “Tony! What is happening? Is she dead??” The woman was panicking and was about to walk toward the sobbing red-magic girl before Yelena aimed at her. “Not another step! Get away!” She screamed and inched forward painfully and slowly.

The oldest woman put her hands up, shock washing over her face. “Who are you?” She asked with the same panic she had exhibited when yelling at ‘Tony’.

“Alright timeout. Baby here is the one that’s gonna tell us what’s going on. C’mon kid, what is this?” The man pressed. Yelena was bewildered by the nickname. “Baby?” She repeated. “Well, yeah, look at you. You’re tiny, probably like 12, ergo Baby. Now, what are we looking at?” The man discussed, gesturing with his hands.

Yelena zipped her lips, glancing at Wanda who was holding Nat’s hand now, begging her quietly to wake up. 

The oldest woman realized by the hate in Yelena’s eyes that the girl wanted Wanda to get away from Natasha. “Wanda, come over here, sweetie,” the woman urged. “No! Nat…Nat is gonna die, Pepper!” Wanda yelled in protest. Yelena flinched. “The girl is only gonna help us if you get away. Come here,” ‘Pepper’ continued to convince her.

Wanda let go of Natasha’s hand and slowly walked over to Pepper. “Alright, Baby that’s your cue.” The man continued to press. Yelena didn’t like him. Men alone frightened her enough, she had yet to meet one that didn’t want certain favors and to use her.

“Tony, you’re not helping,” Pepper said before putting her hands up and taking a slow step towards Yelena. Yelena trained her gun back to Pepper immediately. “Hey, no. You’re hurt and scared, I get it.” “I’m not hurt!” Yelena interrupted before Pepper could get the rest of her speech out.

“You’re literally bleeding, Blondie. At least I assume you’re blonde, all your hair is blood red,” the man Yelena assumed was named Tony exaggerated. Pepper gave him another look and Yelena rolled her eyes. “No! Shut up! I’m not hurt, she is!” Yelena said, her voice still unbelievably loud to make up for how exhausted and pained she sounded.

These were the people Natasha trusted. Yelena had to remember that. “We know. Can we take her to medbay to help her?” Pepper said, and the softness of her voice reminded Yelena of Natasha. Yelena had to force herself to nod because it’s what Natasha so desperately needs but she just does not want anyone to come near her, especially not the man.

Pepper and Tony started walking forward and Yelena snapped to aim at Tony. “Not him! Stop it!” Yelena shouted and was yet again surprised when he really did stop walking. “Wanda, will you help me carry her?” Pepper asked but before Wanda could even open her mouth, Yelena was objecting. “No no no! Fine! The man can help! Not her!” Yelena yelled and watched as a look of sadness washed over Wanda’s face.

Yelena was scared of her. She knew the red stuff came from her and didn’t know how. The unknown is terrifying and Yelena wanted to distance herself from it as much as possible and also did not want to be chucked against a wall like a ragdoll again. She desperately yearned for control over the situation and was far from it with Wanda’s magic in the way.

Pepper nodded and her and Tony stepped forward. Yelena held herself back as they picked up Natasha’s limp body. She couldn’t help the whimper that slipped past her lips as they carried her sister’s body off the jet. “Stay there, Baby. Wanda the Wiggly Woo is gonna watch ya,” the man called back as he was exiting.

Wanda seemed to have objections but was quickly shut down, “you’re the only person to do it and she is an armed intruder, kid or not.” Yelena looked up with an innocent head tilt, not wanting to be kicked out and taken away from her sister. “She is also covered head to toe in blood, make sure she doesn’t pass out,” Tony added before finally leaving.

This left Yelena and Wanda alone on the jet that was covered in blood and with enough tension between them to strangle a cow. Yelena glared at Wanda, her injured arm too sore to hold up the gun but still keeping her other hand on the grip to be safe.

Wanda was looking at her but Yelena could tell she was already about to start crying again and Yelena’s glare must’ve been the last straw. Wanda let out a strangled sigh and avoided eye contact. Yelena could easily tell when people cried silently—the hitch in their breath, the subtle sniffling, the body language—but it didn’t take an elite spy to know Wanda was crying.

The woman just let herself sob and sniffled as she put her head in her hands. Yelena didn’t know what to do and frankly didn’t care about the woman so she stayed put and continued skeptically and hostilly staring. She could not trust Wanda one bit and therefore couldn’t take her eyes off her. Even if it made the teen particularly uncomfortable to watch a young woman cry.

A few minutes later the magic girl was done crying and looked back at Yelena. She was caught off guard by the immediate and firm eye contact Yelena forced and tried to look elsewhere. “Uhm…so what happened?” The woman asked with that raw tone that just screams ‘I just cried and I’m about to cry again!’

Yelena noticed the accent though. It was similar to her own though still far from the same. She could pick apart the dialect if she hadn’t lost so much blood and wasn’t fuzzy in the head from it.

Yelena scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “You think I am going to tell you that?” she nearly laughed at the stupidity of the magic-girl.

Wanda just pressed her lips together and nodded. “Alright then. What about your name?” She just kept pressing for some reason.

Yelena needed to give her a reality check. Why would she think she would tell her anything??

“You actually just threw me across jet using red lights. I’m not telling shit,” the girl said defensively. 

Wanda’s eyes seemed to widen slightly at that. She was silent for a moment before she was able to come up with a comeback. “You shot full-auto at me…so..” she practically whispered.

“Self-defense,” Yelena shrugged. “I told everyone not to come in.”

Wanda looked at Yelena like she was making up lies. “How was I supposed to know?”

“Probably the big gun a bloody teenage girl was wielding being pointed at entrance.” Yelena deadpanned. “But of course that is just hint.”

Wanda threw her arms up too quickly, clearly getting worked up by the girl who was honestly enjoying the slight mind games. Yelena was startled by the quick movement, though.

The girl flinched and aimed the gun again instinctively. This led to Wanda holding her hands up, this time in a genuine show of defenselessness rather than out of exasperation.

Yelena knew it was fake though, the woman wasn’t anywhere near defenseless.

Yelena suddenly felt lightheaded, even more so than she already did. It was too much to handle, so she had to scoot up against the wall and rest against it. She tried to be subtle about it but was so lightheaded it did actually feel like she would die, so the effort was likely for nothing.

That thought was confirmed when Wanda asked, “are you okay? Should I call a doctor over?”

Yelena’s eyes snapped open immediately and the adrenaline rush from hearing the word the girl had associated so much with pain and suffering enabled her to not pass out and she even sat up more and picked the gun up again.

“Don’t you dare!” She yelled immediately, and Wanda shied away, ducking her head down and putting her hands up. “Okay, I won’t,” Wanda said barely above a whisper.

Yelena fell back against the wall again but kept her gun in her hands. “If you do, I will find a way to hurt you. And I will go for your parents, your siblings, your cousins, anyone. Anyone you are related to,” Yelena threatened. She could not let the Avengers perform surgery on her. She didn’t know what they would take or what they would put in her or how bad it would hurt.

She didn’t even know if she’d come back from that operating room and she saw vulnerability in the woman that she could take advantage of to avoid dying. Or just a lot of pain.

Wanda seemed struck hard by what Yelena had said. “I said I won’t.” She restated firmly, suddenly not interested in looking directly at Yelena.

It wasn’t until fifteen minutes later of dead silence, Yelena barely staying conscious, and a gun steadily pointed at Wanda that Pepper came back.

She approached slowly and whispered something to Wanda. Whatever she had said made Wanda get off the jet. Yelena trained her aim on Pepper next.

Pepper looked at Yelena before she spoke, and when she did, her voice was pure and soft and filled with anything and everything Natasha filled her voice with when Yelena had freaked out time and time before.

“Hi, my name is Pepper,” she said slowly. Yelena was very confused. She knew Pepper’s name was Pepper; other people had just called her that. Yelena settled for silence rather than words, waiting it out until Pepper said something else.

It didn’t take long for her to continue. “What’s your name?” She asked. God, again with people asking about her. They should know she wasn’t in any mood to answer. “We need to know so we can help you,” the woman further pressed when Yelena remained silent.

Yelena shook her head. “Where is Natasha?” She questioned with a hoarse, exhausted voice that she was now not bothering to hide. She was so tired. And hurt. She needed her sister.

Yelena noticed her Pepper had taken a small step closer while she was talking. “Natasha is getting fixed up,” Pepper answered.

Yelena strained her eyes looking for anything that would hint that Pepper was lying. She couldn’t, but that didn’t fix her distrust. “I won’t believe anything until I see Natasha,” Yelena stayed firmly.

Pepper sighed slightly at the small defeat. “Natasha was shot through the abdomen—“ “The bullet did not perforate her intestines, kidneys, or any other vital organs.” Yelena interrupted tiredly, refusing to be told her sister wouldn’t make it. That was a reality she couldn’t face and knew she wouldn’t anyways.

“Yes, it didn’t. Which is why our technology is gonna make her good as new in no time. We just want to help you too. So, what’s your name and can you put the gun down?” Pepper spoke, still just as calm even though she was definitely frustrated.

Yelena did not give her name nor did she put the gun down. She was also rather adverse to receiving help.

Pepper gave up at this point. She of course had the idea that this girl could very well be the girl her and Nat talked about earlier, but she really couldn’t risk pushing the girl with the gun too hard.

She just wanted to help her, though. She was so little and so hurt and Pepper just wanted to shower her with motherly love and heal her wounds.

But right now, they were at a standstill. Pepper couldn’t do anything to de-escalate the girl and get her to put her gun down and Yelena refused to give any information or to put the gun down and receive help and medicine.

Chapter Text

Pepper stared at the young girl.

That was all she could do after all. The girl was dying and would not let her close. She had tried, trust, she had tried.

All she got was threats followed by silence and a cold glare.

This girl was not going to budge and if Pepper kept pushing she would only exert the girl and could even get shot by her.

So she waited. She waited to hear from Natasha and in the meantime, she watched the life and color drain from a kid’s body. Pepper could see the tourniquets. She was sure they were better than nothing but the wounds still bled sluggishly and were open to infection. Sepsis could set in fast and it wasn’t a joke.

The girl's eyes were empty and painfully sad. Pepper could see the way the girl had dissociated and could only hope the girl would be able to keep herself conscious like that.

It took an hour. A full, painful, practically lifeless hour for Natasha to limp over.

She was alive but she needed the help from Tony to stand and had an IV bag of blood dripping into her wrist.

Natasha looked very shocked by the sight of the youngest, her eyes widening and tears brimming. She forced herself to quickly gather her bearings and restored her ever-serious face.

The girl was so lost that she didn’t even notice Natasha at first, but that gave Natasha the chance to talk to Tony and Pepper.

“She is not dangerous. She is just scared and a child, not an enemy. Trust me. I need to be alone to talk to her. Do not let any doctors come in before I say so,” Natasha said quickly before nodding to Tony to get him to let her walk on her own.

Pepper and Tony left with a simple “yes ma’am,” from Tony and a, “be safe,” from Pepper.

——

Natasha woke up in a hospital bed. Well, not quite. It was Avenger’s Tower, but she was in Medbay. She had blood going into her veins via an IV and had all sorts of wires to monitor her vitals.

She groaned in pain and reached down to her abdomen where she vaguely remembered getting shot. With that, she also remembered her sister getting hurt too.

Her stomach was wrapped up but showed no signs of bleeding. It was definitely sore but it didn’t feel like she had actually been shot anymore. It was more dull and throbbing than the sharp, constant pain it had been.

She looked up frantically, hoping maybe Yelena would be around. She didn’t find Yelena, but instead found a particular red headed witch. Her demeanor quickly shifted to be more laid back and soft, not wanting to scare the younger woman she thought of as a little sister.

“Hey, Wands,” Natasha said softly, leaning back a bit in her bed to seem less frantic.

“Hey, Tasha,” Wanda replied, forcing a smile. Natasha knew when she faked smiles. Natasha also had some other important matters and questions, but she couldn’t just ignore Wanda’s obvious sadness.

Natasha furrowed her brow. “You alright?” She asked carefully. Wanda shrugged. “I used my magic and hurt someone,” she admitted sheepishly. Nat immediately tensed but quickly masked her fear that it had been Yelena that was hurt.

“Who did you hurt?” Natasha asked, not trying to make it seem like she was upset with Wanda. Thank God she was good at doing that. “The girl that came in with you.”

Natasha immediately cursed in her head. She had been praying that wasn’t it because now Yelena had gotten hurt even worse and was probably very scared of this place and all the people here. More so than she already was, anyways.

“How bad?” Natasha asked as she swung her legs out of bed so she could sit on the foot of the bed. “I…threw her? Across the jet…” Wanda sounded very upset with her own actions. “But because she was shooting at me,” she justified.

Nat was about to comfort her more but Tony walked in. “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey,” he exclaimed, making his presence known. Nat glared at him because of him just being the way he is. So unserious in the most serious places.

“What? You’re not happy now? We fixed your little uh…gunshot wound. Used the same stuff we used for Clint when he was shot,” Tony explained. Natasha was glad. That meant she was practically healed now and could get to Yelena.

She still couldn’t stand Tony’s tone. Not at a time like this, at least. “No, I’m not happy because in the BEST case scenario that little girl on the jet is still bleeding out,” Natasha said, not quite ready to give up Yelena’s name just in case.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, she is. Pepper’s with her now but we haven’t really done anything because she just holds us at gunpoint every time. And she’s already proven she’ll open fire if we get too close, she did on the witch,” he explained and gestured to Wanda.

Natasha started trying to get up, still a little unsteady on her feet. Luckily Wanda stepped forward to help her. “I need to get to her,” Nat stated. “Careful, you’re still getting a blood transfusion, Tasha,” Wanda reminded her worriedly.

“Hey FRIDAY, get someone down here to take all this shit off Nat,” Tony ordered, the ceiling replying with a “yes sir, Doctor Helen Cho is on the way.”

“She better hurry. I’m serious, I need to get to that girl,” Natasha said with urgency and determination in her voice. “No kiddin’. The baby needs a doctor bad,” Tony said.

Just then, Helen walked in. “Hello, Natasha. I would like to explain everything I did, is that okay?” Natasha immediately shook her head. “Maybe later, I just need you to get the wires off me and let me go to the landing strip,” she explained quickly.

Helen hummed in thought. “You should be okay, but the blood transfusion is still dripping and you need that,” she confirmed and began taking off the pads immediately, sensing the urgency.

“I do have to say, that girl saved your life. If she hadn’t packed the wound, taken the bullet out and wrapped you up, you would already have an infection and would likely be dead,” Doctor Helen said as she took care of the vitals.

Natasha nodded. “She’s smart. The thing I’m most surprised about is her letting you guys take care of me,” Natasha said, leaning against Wanda still for support.

“Who is she, anyway?” Wanda asked curiously. She wasn’t hostile at all but she was slightly bitter. Still, she was mainly just curious and concerned.

Natasha sighed. “I’ll tell you later. She is very important to me and I need to get her to accept medical help. ASAP,” Natasha was even reluctant to explain that much. She just needed to keep Yelena safe and with all this court stuff and the pardonings and everything, this tower wasn’t as stable as she would like it.

Natasha was about to start walking towards Yelena with Wanda’s help, but Tony stopped them. “I’m sorry but I don’t think she would react well if she saw you with Wanda,” he said, for once being serious.

Nat sighed slightly. “I need help walking and she doesn’t like men. I know she doesn’t, it would scare her,” she stated firmly.

Wanda was clearly upset by the discussion, shame and guilt filling her form as she was slapped yet again by the reality that she had hurt a little girl, and it was more than physically.

“When she had to choose between me or Wanda carrying you off the jet, she specifically chose me,” he said truthfully.

Natasha sighed heavily but when she looked at Wanda, the younger woman confirmed Tony’s statement.

Natasha walked down to the jet with Tony’s help but when her eyes landed on her little sister, shock and fear filled her.

Yelena was crumpled against a wall, gun in hand out of fear. Her skin was pale and clammy and you could see the sheet of sweat covering her. Her face, an arm, and a leg were all covered in varying stages of dried and some fresh blood.

Her eyes were shallow and empty and her breathing was slowed.

Natasha had to tighten up and put on her strong face. She had a word with Tony and Pepper before they left and then she kneeled in front of Yelena.

“Lena? I’m here, my sweet girl,” Nat spoke softly and just above a whisper so as not to frighten the young Widow.

Yelena’s eyes seemed to focus up, making contact with Nat’s soft, green eyes. “Nattie-“ Yelena struggled to whimper out, her fatal injuries no longer worth even trying to hide, especially since it was Natasha.

“Hurts…it hurts..” Yelena whined, Nat quickly but softly shushing her. “I know, I know Lena. I can help. You’re gonna be okay,” she reassured, moving to slip an arm under Yelena’s legs and around her shoulders to get her in position to hold her, but Yelena reacted violently. She tried to shove Nat’s arms away and she cried out in pain.

It took a lot for Natasha to stay collected and continue pulling her closer. “I know, I know it hurts. I’ve gotta carry you, though.” Natasha was very calm and even though she really shouldn’t, she managed to pick Yelena up.

Yelena squirmed and Nat struggled to hold her. “Lena, I’m gonna help. Trust me,” Nat soothed. Yelena listened but looked up at Nat with those sleepy, glassy eyes. “What are they gonna do to me?” Yelena asked fearfully.

She was scared of the Avengers. They couldn’t see her like this because if they did, they would put her down. She was useless now. If she hadn’t healed herself yet, she wouldn’t be able to ever and it would just be a waste of resources for them to do it.

Natasha looked deep into Yelena’s eyes, trying to find the trust. “They are gonna help you. I can’t help you on my own now, we’ve waited too long. You need blood,” Natasha explained. Yelena was growing far too exhausted for this.

“Just help…Don’t let them hurt me,” Yelena pleaded, giving in. She had to be concussed—whether it be from being thrown by Wanda or from one of her numerous fights or even all of the above—and that made it hard to think. It hurt so bad.

“It-it hurts…” she whined yet again. All Natasha could do was hum softly and try to soothe her by saying how “I know”, and “it’ll be okay”.

Natasha was able to carry her but the limp weight was hard to manage. She had to drag along her IV drip too, but she was able to use an arm that was holding Yelena to drag that too.

The girl gripped Natasha’s shirt for dear life, her face resting in the crook of Natasha’s neck as she tried pulling herself closer. She needed to feel the safety.

Yelena was so out of it that now Natasha had to ask her questions to at least keep her awake. She needed to be awake but not too alert because if she was, she would never let Natasha do what she was about to do.

Yelena despised doctors and medical treatment and Natasha knew it would be a big trigger.

Natasha brought her to the medbay and laid her in the bed Nat had just been in. Maybe when she woke up distressed, the smell of Nat would help calm her.

Natasha yelled at FRIDAY to get Doctor Helen back down. The AI obeyed and the doctor was down quickly. Natasha was holding Yelena’s hand, whispering to soothe her and trying to explain to her where she was.

”Is this the girl?” Doctor Cho asked quickly as she set her clipboard down and got gloves on. Natasha looked over and nodded, about to speak before Yelena’s grip on her hand tightened and she whined out. “They’re gonna hurt me, help Nattie. Help me!”

Doctor Cho doesn’t speak Russian, so she continued stepping forward to try and help comfort her. Yelena flinched slightly but her body was too weak to fight.

Natasha shushed her gently, speaking in a soft voice. “It’s okay, I am helping you, Lena. Just let us,” Nat was basically begging her to at this point. It wasn’t like Yelena could fight against them and she was too weak to protest, but Natasha hoped she could understand that they were actually helping her, not doing whatever the Red Room did.

“I’m not the Red Room, she’s not the Red Room,” Natasha whispered before she turned to look at Doctor Cho.

“Her name is Yelena, she has a laceration on her forehead, the back of her arm, and her leg. She probably has some broken ribs. She has lost a lot of blood and has been bleeding continuously for a good couple hours now. I’m not sure exactly how long because I was not conscious myself,” Natasha explained, trying to hurry but also knowing the time wouldn’t go to waste because Doctor Cho needed to hear it before she could treat her.

“Okay, can you step out while I trauma naked her?” Doctor Cho asked. Natasha had to cut her some slack because the woman had no clue where Yelena had come from or what she was to Natasha.

“I need to stay with her the whole time.” The redhead said firmly. Doctor Cho nodded and opened her mouth to speak but before she could get another word out, Nat continued. “Don’t trauma-naked her while she’s awake. Get an IV in and sedate her before you do anything else.” The woman spoke in a whisper so Yelena wouldn’t hear and get scared.

Natasha didn’t particularly like being bossy, but she definitely had to be bossy and picky when it came to her baby sister, especially when she was so hurt and defenseless.

Doctor Cho luckily agreed immediately, knowing she was in no position to tell the patients what to do.

The doctor got the IV in and all it took was Natasha holding Yelena’s arm and distracting her.

Of course, she flinched when the needle went in, but it was a big deal that she didn’t really fight it or the doctor. Natasha even feared Yelena would rip it out or something.

Yelena was already so close to passing out that it barely took any time for the sedative to kick in and in the meanwhile, Doctor Cho had already started getting the crappy makeshift tourniquets off the girl's limbs. 

Natasha watched like a hawk, her protectiveness over Yelena getting the better of her even though she trusted Doctor Cho bunches.

Doctor Cho cleaned the wound on Yelena’s forehead and it didn’t even need stitches, just a lot of steri-strips. She cleaned and stitched up the stab wound on Yelena’s arm, having to thread out the stitches that were already there but had busted. It was difficult to put new stitches in because of the holes already in her skin, but Doctor Cho was talented and managed.

It was while Doctor Cho was dressing the wound that Natasha spoke up for the first time since the Doctor had started working. “Can’t you fix her with the advanced tech?” She asked, gesturing to her own abdomen where she had just been healed with that.

Doctor Cho shook her head, keeping her eyes and focus on dressing the wound. “I can only use that when the wound is lethal,” she explained.

Natasha was confused. “But her’s IS lethal. She was bleeding out,” the woman reasoned.

Doctor Cho sucked her teeth in thought. “Let me rephrase that. I only get to use it on deeper, longer term wounds. So like your gunshot that would’ve taken months to heal, or a more serious stabbing that caused more severe damage. A stab like this doesn’t warrant such advanced medical technology, this will still heal in a relatively short amount of time without it. Same with the slash on her leg.”

Natasha understood and reluctantly backed off. She would’ve liked to still be able to use the technology on her sister so she wouldn’t be in so much pain, but she guessed she could see the point in not.

Doctor Cho finished dressing her arm and moved to the slash in her leg. This wound was longer but not as deep. It still needed stitches, but this one was much easier to stitch up seeing as there were no previous attempts at such.

Doctor Cho started dripping the blood transfusion through the IV as soon as all those major wounds were properly tended to, then she cut all her clothes off to do a full body assessment. Afterwards, she concluded that Yelena’s ribs were definitely bruised and more than likely, one or two were broken, but they needed an x-ray to be sure. She also checked her eyes and sure enough, her pupils were blown and reacting slowly to light. She had a concussion.

She redressed Yelena into a hospital gown and despite noticing all the many, many scars on the young girl’s body, she only mentions one set. The three lines on her stomach, still pink and healing.

“Did she have surgery on her lower stomach? These look like…” Cho didn’t want to say what she was thinking, but there was only one thing those scars could be. Luckily she didn’t have to because Nat quickly made a statement.

“Hysterectomy scars…Please don’t put it on her file.” Natasha wasn’t asking, she was telling. She didn’t want this personal information being put on any documents.

“Ms. Romanoff, I’m sorry but if she is missing an organ, or even a whole organ system, it needs to be recorded for the future,” Cho tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t budge.

“No. I am telling you to turn a blind eye. I don’t just throw that kind of thing around, when I say it, I mean.” Natasha felt bad because she loved this doctor but this had to be done. No one could know about this and it was too sensitive. “Do you really think there is a good reason to tell everyone that a child got a hysterectomy?” Natasha said to hopefully solidify her already chilling argument.

Doctor Cho looked like she really did want to agree, but this was a serious thing. “Hipaa will—“ she started but was cut off by Nat’s cold and extremely serious glare. She decided to pick her battles and turned a blind eye.

“Well, my assessment and treatments are done. Alert me when she wakes so I can check on her, please,” Doctor Cho finished before exiting, scribbling down on her clipboard as she walked out.

Now Natasha had a ticking time bomb to watch. Yelena would be unimaginably scared and angry when she woke up and Natasha can only hope she doesn’t completely lose it.

Chapter Text

Go away.

Yelena was done with the lab coats and the blurred lines.

“Go away,” she mumbled from her cell when a scientist asked her some questions. She didn’t want any of it.

“White Widow, you know I love you right?” The scientist asked. He wanted her to call him Doctor Kip. He was an American. He was blonde. His eyes were brown. He was bigger than her.

“Yes sir,” Yelena shuddered out. “Good. You love me, don’t you?” He asked. “Yes sir,” Yelena repeated obediently.

Doctor Kip took his keys out and unlocked the cell door. “C’mon, Widow.” He lured her.

She followed even though she knew where she would go. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gripping hard as he marched her through the hallway.

“I love you, that’s why I am doing this. It will help you. You don’t need to worry about any useless connections. You’ll be a real widow,” he stated.

Yelena couldn’t help but freeze up. She wasn’t given enough slack for that and had to force herself to walk. “I’m graduating today?” She asked.

Doctor Kip nodded, “yes.” Yelena was confused. She was supposed to have another couple years, why now?

Next thing she knew she was thrown against a stretcher without another word and strapped down to be rolled through the halls in front of the other widows. An example and reminder that they were next.

-

Yelena woke up to a similar situation. She was in a hospital bed and everything was very bright and the scent burned her nose.

She wasn’t held down this time and while her instinct was to bolt, she found herself getting too dizzy from just sitting up quickly. Her head pounded and she couldn’t do anything.

She closed her eyes and prepared to accept her fate. She pulled on her hair to try and relieve the pain and waited to be shoved back onto the table.

After a moment, it happened, but it was too gentle. A soft hand pushed gently on her chest and a hand on her back kept her leaning back slowly and gently. She opened her eyes to see which doctor this was, because it wasn’t Doctor Kip.

It wasn’t a doctor at all. It was her sister. Suddenly the previous couple days’ events came rushing back and she was so confused.

“Natalia?” She questioned in a whisper. Nat nodded. “It’s me, Yelena.”

Her eyes darted around the room nervously. Why was she back here? “W-where am I?” The girl asked fearfully.

Natasha shook her head. “This is Avengers tower. We are in the medbay, not the Red Room.” She confirmed firmly yet softly.

Yelena shook her head. “What? Why?” She asked as if her head wasn’t pounding and her whole body wasn’t throbbing.

Natasha smiled slightly to lighten the mood. “You got in a couple fights and you’re hurt,” she simplified. “No! I’m not hurt, Natalia! I’m-I’m still useful!” Yelena began pleading.

Natasha’s small smile quickly fell to a concerned frown. “Of course you are. You saved my life, Yelena,” Nat stated seriously. “You’ll be all better soon. They said as soon as you get all the blood in, you can leave the bed. We will go to my room.”

Yelena shook her head and closed her eyes again. “No-…No, what?” She was trying not to cry, but clearly not hard enough. Natasha was suddenly pulling her closer and Yelena leaned into the touch.

It was so confusing and such a dramatic change from any medical attention she had received before. She simply couldn’t process this. And all her emotions came out in sobs, not to mention the physical pain that contributed to the crying.

Her fingers gripped Natasha’s shirt tightly, balls of fabric held in her hands tightly to pull herself closer. Natasha kept holding her close, rubbing her back soothingly.

The crying only worsened her headache but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop until she heard it. She may be crying, but she was more on edge than ever.

She heard the noise before Natasha even heard it, the younger girl’s head turning and her cries silencing a second before her big sister turned around too.

It was that fucking witch.

And she was just standing there, snooping in the doorway. And she looked like she was about to cry. She also seemed very scared and stepped backwards under Yelena’s glare.

“Wanda, would you please tell Helen that Yelena is awake?” Natasha asked calmly, “tell her not to come in yet though, I’ll tell her when.”

Wanda nodded and walked away quickly.

“That’s Wanda. She’s worried about you,” Natasha informed the younger girl softly. “Why was she here?” Yelena demanded, sniffling the tears back.

“Like I said, she is worried about you. And me,” Natasha repeated. “Wasn’t so worried when she threw me against a wall.” Yelena grumbled in Russian, no longer in the mood to be vulnerable and just converting it all to anger.

Natasha pulled Yelena back against her, resting her head on her chest. Yelena couldn’t help but sink into her again. “My sweet girl, she was just as scared as you were,” Natasha explained softly, keeping the calm in the situation.

“I was protecting you!” Yelena yelled defensively. “I didn’t know her and I told everyone not to come close!” She continued despite Natasha trying to shush her.

“I know, Lena. It’s okay. Shh,” Natasha kept needing to de-escalate, bringing Yelena closer to her again when she got tense and angry. “You did what you thought was right and I’m proud of you for protecting me.”

The fight left Yelena’s body at those words. “You’re proud of me?” She asked quietly, her widened eyes staring at a spot on the wall.

She could feel Natasha nodding even though she wasn’t looking at her. “Yes, you saved my life, sweet girl. I couldn’t be any more proud of you.” The woman whispered genuinely and kindly.

Yelena didn’t know what to say, so the sisters sat there in silence while Yelena just calmed down in general.

Silence until Yelena realized she was not in the same clothes and she didn’t feel pain. She didn’t feel pain, meaning they had drugged her, and she was in different clothes, meaning they stripped her.

Yelena was suddenly aware of her IV. It was pumping blood and saline into her. She quickly reached for the port to yank the IV out. Natasha tried to stop her but wasn’t quick enough.

Yelena threw the tubing to the side, blood and saline spilling to the floor. Yelena stared in shock at her wrist and started hyperventilating.

This was very frustrating for Natasha, but she understood that Yelena only did that because she was scared. “Yelena, it’s okay. It’s medicine,” Natasha shushed.

Yelena shook her head, scooting back against the headboard to get away from Natasha. “N-no-…I don’t need it!” Yelena attempted to inform Nat before her eyes went blank.

Natasha thought the girl was having another dissociation episode and almost started pulling the girl closer until she started scanning the room quickly. Before Natasha could even tell what was happening, Yelena’s hands grabbed a scalpel and it was stabbed into her thigh.

Nat gasped and grabbed it, which prevented it from cutting too deep, but then, through tears, Yelena stuck her fingers in the wound.

Natasha panicked and tried to get her to stop by grabbing her hands. “Yelena, stop. What are you doing?” She asked, panic but not anger in her voice.

“Tracker—My tracker! That’s how they found us earlier,” she explained through gasps for air before taking her fingers out of the wound and with them, a small device. She threw it at the wall closest to her with enough force to break it. Natasha was totally shocked by what just happened.

At least she did it in medbay where they had all the materials to patch her up. “Lena, are you okay??” Natasha asked worriedly. Yelena had frozen by now.

She started questioning what ‘medicine’ was pushed while she was passed out. What drugs did they give her? Was she high right now? How long was she passed out for?

She felt the touch of Natasha’s hand on her shoulder and looked down to see her holding pressure on the new stab wound on her thigh with a washcloth.

“Hey, I’m gonna stitch this up, okay? You shouldn’t feel it as much because of your painkiller,” Natasha told her slowly. “What am I on? Am I high?” Yelena asked hurriedly.

Natasha stayed calm but looked down at Yelena with concern. “You’re on toradol, it doesn’t make you act or feel high apart from the numbness.”

Yelena didn’t know what toradol is, but knowing that Natasha knew exactly what she was given made her feel a lot better, same with the fact that it wouldn’t make her feel high.

She couldn’t hold onto the present anymore. She let herself space out, retreating to behaviors she was forced into previously to cope with all the big, scary things happening right now.

Once she focused up again, she immediately noticed that the IV was back in her wrist, only this time it was in the opposite one. When she tried to reach for and tug out that one in a panic, she was brought to the reality that her hand was being grabbed by someone.

Her body reacted before she even had time to think. Her other arm—same one with the IV—reached across and punched whoever was holding her hand in the face.

The person grunted and their head turned away from the force. Another pair of hands grabbed her arms to hold her down. Yelena knew she didn’t recognize that first person, but she had her eyes squeezed shut now and couldn’t see the new person.

She hadn’t realized she was hyperventilating and freaking out until she finally heard her sister’s voice cut through the sound of her own ragged breathing. “Yelena, take it easy. Slow your breathing. It’s me, it’s Nat. Open your eyes and look at me.”

The voice was soft and gentle and everything that embodied Natasha, but Yelena still followed it like an order. She opened her eyes but was still unable to control her breathing.

Someone had touched her and held her down and there was more people than just Nat in the room and there is still an IV in her arm and she was definitely not safe-

“I’m not the Red Room. She is not the Red Room, she is my doctor. Look at her, Lena. She is my doctor and I trust her,” Natasha conveyed quickly but gently. She was frantically trying to calm the young one because she had to be checked out to get out of the room and Doctor Helen had only gotten a quarter of the way done before Yelena came to her senses.

While Yelena was just thrilled that Natasha trusted the doctor, she personally didn’t. “Sh-She’s gonna hurt me,” Yelena gasped out. Natasha shook her head and pulled Yelena closer.

“Shhh, it’s alright. She won’t hurt you. She is not the red room, you need to understand that, Yelena,” Natasha said, firm in her comfort.

Yelena eyed the doctor who wasn’t making any moves to advance yet. She looked around the room and saw quite a bit of scary medical equipment. It made her even more nervous, so she stopped looking around.

“Yelena, look at me,” Natasha asked gently. Yelena did, with teary eyes. “Thank you,” Natasha praised with a soft smile, “do you trust me?”

Yelena thought that was a silly question. Of course she did, she had already expressed it multiple times. “Yes,” Yelena replied without hesitation.

Natasha’s reassuring smile didn’t fall or lessen as she continued to speak softly. “Then I need you to trust me in keeping you safe. I won’t let her do anything hurtful to you and if you need a break or dislike something specific she is doing, tell me and I will let you have a break or see if she can avoid what you don’t like. You just need a general check up before we can go to my private floor.”

Yelena tucked her face into the crook of Natasha’s neck and tried to subtly dry the tears that had diminished. She also noticed that she had almost stopped hyperventilating because of how focused she was on Natasha’s voice.

She supposed she believed everything Natasha said and saw the reasoning. She nodded silently but didn’t move off of Natasha. “I can sit in the bed with you, but she needs to be able to see you,” Natasha said, moving to gently encourage Yelena off of her.

Yelena obeyed reluctantly and the doctor took a slow couple of steps closer. “My name is Helen Cho, I’ll be giving you a checkup today,” the woman introduced herself, holding her hand out for Yelena to shake.

Yelena just looked from the hand to the woman’s face and upon realizing the girl wasn’t gonna shake her hand, the doctor put it down and quietly said, “that's okay.”

The woman’s face was forming a mark from where Yelena had punched her. Yelena didn’t feel bad nor did she care. She was and is scared.

She grabbed what looked like a fabric-like pair of handcuffs, except it only had one cuff and it had a tube coming out of it and some sort of meter on it. Yelena tensed, fearing they would restrain her for punching Helen in the face. 

Natasha rubbed her arm soothingly and the doctor started explaining the handcuff. “It’s just a blood pressure cuff. It goes around your arm and fills with air then I slowly let the air out and listen for your pulse.”

Yelena looked at it, analyzing the authenticity of the explanation. She looked at Natasha who gave a reassuring nod. Yelena wanted to ask if it would hurt but hadn’t been told to talk therefore it wasn’t her place.

The doctor advanced and placed the cuff around Yelena’s arm. She told her that her arm needed to be relaxed and straight and that it would squeeze a lot but won’t hurt, which answered one of Yelena’s unasked questions.

Cold metal pressed underneath the cuff and even though it was the simplest medical check ever, Yelena couldn’t look. She looked straight ahead and focused on Natasha rubbing her opposite arm.

She had to remember Nat gave her her word. She wouldn’t let her get hurt, it would be okay.

The doctor hummed with approval and commented something positive about Yelena’s blood pressure before putting the cuff away and putting the stethoscope around her neck.

The rest of the check up went something like this: the doctor would ask her questions, look at a wound or bring out some simple device, Yelena would stress over it and look to Nat for reassurance, Nat gave reassurance, Yelena answered the question quietly or allowed the doctor to do what needed to be done and feared for her life the whole time.

It was painful and mentally exhausting, but the checkup was done and the doctor went to take Yelena’s IV out. Yelena didn’t let her so the doctor had Natasha do it. Then the girls were free to go, both done getting blood and okay enough to leave the room.

Yelena could finally breathe a little easier. Only a little.