Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1 —------ Bucky

When the Sentry had caught his metal arm, later tearing it off, Bucky was reminded of another he had once met. A teen in a red and blue suit that talked too much and crawled on walls. Spider-boy or something. The memory flashed through the back of his eyes as he remembered the boy catching the metal arm with a nerdy exclaim of, “Dude, you have a metal arm!” Bucky asked himself, after the fight with The Void, once the team was in the tower and safe, what had happened to the spiderling and where he was now.

Bucky had ended up asking the rest of the team inconspicuously if they knew of the young vigilante, or hero. They weren’t exactly helpful, to say the least. Well except for Yelena. She ended up asking her friend or whatever, Kat Bish, about spider-boy. Kat was helpful and revealed that he was still active, somewhat.

The light ringing of an overhead bell nudged Bucky back into reality. He stepped forward into the dimly lit cafe, the air smelling of all different kinds of coffees with a whiff of some sort of pastry. The shop was small, homey, the walls were painted a tan color, with the counters a redwood blend. There were but two booths filled and three workers that could be seen.

Bucky stepped up after reviewing the menu and checked the current barista’s nametag. Peter, was the guy’s name apparently. This Peter looked to be like 15, he seemed so young. His eyes were round and brown, with his hair being a similar walnut brown. He looked plain, well except for his eyes. They were familiar, like a mirror looking back at Bucky, or like those of the team that had forged through pain and mistakes. They were old, too old for a kid to wear.

Blinking, Bucky noticed Peter’s mouth moving, ah, he had spaced out. Luckily, he was able to catch the tail-end of the boy’s sentence, “-for you?”

Oh, he was asking for the order. Bucky blinked again before ordering a simple black coffee with a tiny bit of cream. The brunette raised an eyebrow at the order but only asked for his name.

“Bucky,” He answered Peter, passing some money into the boy’s awaiting hands and walking to a secluded booth. Once Bucky had sat down he got back to thinking, even though this cafe is small and definitely not well known, anyone would recognize the Winter Soldier, or now Bucky Barnes from “The New Avengers” as Val had dubbed the dysfunctional team. But, Peter, he still asked for his name, curious. There was also a strange feeling etched into the teen’s expression, Peter seemed to be sad at the sight of Bucky, yet there was recognition. Even more curious.

“Black coffee with cream for Bucky!” A familiar nerdy voice rang out. Bucky blinked and tried to remember where he’s heard that voice before as he stood up and walked to the counter. Oh, that’s right, It’s Peter, the barista who had taken Bucky’s order, of course he would recognize the teen’s voice. After all, it was just a few minutes or so ago. These spacey thoughts and brain is why Bucky had needed a coffee.

Bucky sat back down and took a sip of his coffee, surprised by how good the simple order turned out to be. His mind went back to wandering, despite the tangy taste of the coffee. It was a true test of strength to catch the metal arm that connected to Bucky’s scarred shoulder. Steve had struggled even with his shield, no, it’s Sam’s now. Yet, this spider-kid had caught his arm without a strain. Weird.

Something crinkling in front of him made Bucky blink out of his mind once again. God, he’s spacey. When Bucky looked up he saw where the noise had originated from, it was Peter, standing right next to his booth in the corner with a clear-like white plastic tube.

Peter extended his hand holding the plastic before setting the tube onto the table with a small smile, “these help me when I get…. spaced after The Void incident.”

Peter stood there awkwardly for a minute, probably waiting for a reply, before speaking again, “you can have all of them.”

Once Peter had walked away and Bucky had finally stopped staring at nothing, he inspected the clear tube. Oh, it’s crackers. Carefully he opened the bag before slowly biting into the cracker with caution, he slowly chewed one of the pieces. It’s salty. And surprisingly good. Hmm. Bucky grabbed another and another and ate, they were good, really good.

Once he ate enough crackers and drank all of his coffee Bucky stood up and threw the empty cup away before walking back into the bustling of the familiar New York streets. Somehow, Bucky’s mind was clearer, less foggy and he was actually in the present. He once again could study the people curling around him, their steps hitting the cement with a slight pound that played in sync. Bucky could notice anything coming towards him and hear every sound again. Oh. Maybe Bucky was out of it after the scenes he had watched, played out in the same way in a never ending cycle. Round and round. Over and over again. All in The Void. Huh.

Bucky safely made it back to the tower and headed up to the common room via elevator. Ava is probably anywhere and everywhere. Yelena is most likely hanging in the vents, possibly napping. Alexei is definitely taking his nap and Walker is usually watching his family from afar. Bob, being Bob, is most likely washing dishes. Bucky snuck a cracker into his mouth as the elevator door opened and he found Ava lounging on the couch with some weird space movie playing on the flat screen TV. The woman curtly nodded in his direction before returning to her show.

It was always quiet in the tower, each person who called the building home preferred silence to a bustling environment. The TV’ s buzz and humming was but one of the only sounds that could be heard in the silence.

Bucky carefully sat on the couch, respectful keeping his distance from Ghost before clearing his throat and awkwardly asking, “Where are the others?”

Ava swiftly picked up the remote and paused the TV, her hair not moving an inch despite the movement. The woman turned her attention to Bucky and hummed softly, “Walker is where he always is, Guardian is grocery shopping, and Yelena and Bob are playing games on Yelena’s floor.” Huh, Bucky had been wrong about what most everyone had been doing.

Bucky nodded in understanding before slowly standing up and stepping towards the kitchen. Once in the kitchen he scoured the cupboards for crackers of similar taste to the ones gifted to Bucky by Peter. When he ended up empty handed Bucky walked back over to Ava and asked, “Do you have Alexei’s phone number?”

Bucky ended up having to head down to Yelena’s floor when Ava shook her head. Maybe they should all exchange numbers eventually. He pressed the button for Yelena’s floor and waited for the elevator to ding with the sound of arrival.

Bucky stepped onto the wood floor and found Yelena and Bob perched on top of the kitchen island with playing cards in their hands. Bob pounded the island with a triumphant exclamation of “31!” Yelena sighed in defeat as she laid down her cards.

The blonde noticed his arrival first with a nod in his direction. Bob, noticing the nod, turned his head to see Bucky, “Hey Bucky.”

“Hello, Bob and Yelena,” Bucky replied before turning almost all of his attention fully to the blonde, “can you text Alexei for me?”

“Depends,” Yelena replied, her smooth Russian accent rolling off of her tongue, “What do you want to say?”

“Can you ask him to pick up some crackers that are like salty while he’s out?” Bucky asked.

Yelena hummed while she shuffled the cards they had been playing with, “yeah sure.”

Bob turned to Bucky with a small grin etched into his features, “Bucky, you should join us for a game.” Bob reminded him of a puppy, huh.

With a small pause to think Bucky decided, why not? “How do you play this again?”

So Bucky sat on a chair like a respectful human being while Bob and Yelena lounged on the island like freaks. Yelena finished shuffling the cards, passing them out, while Bob explained how to play 31 and the rules. It was pretty easy to pick up actually.

While waiting for her turn, Yelena had pulled out her phone, most likely texting her father.

After playing a round, Bucky decided to play another, what was supposed to be one game turned into many. It got him thinking. Maybe Bucky should go to the cafe again someday soon. Maybe get to know the nice boy with the sadness swimming in his eyes. Peter.

Chapter Text

Peter Parker had hoped that he was done facing people from his past. Or anything to do with what happened before the spell. He had made sure to avoid any place likely to have Ned and MJ, he never looked at portraits sprayed onto buildings of his past mentor. He made a schedule that avoided Happy when visiting May while she rested in the ground, for a mistake Peter had made. Peter tried his best to run from his past.

Then The Void happened, Peter had to relive his worst moments. He watched Ben die again, he held May in his arms as she died, He watched the moment life had fleeted from Tony’s eyes. He saw the moment he said goodbye to MJ and Ned. Peter was trapped in a hallucination, again, where he stumbled through rooms of the worst things he’s seen and done. He felt the weight of cement crushing him from when the Vulture had dropped the building on Peter. He remembered Mysterio and he watched as his face was strewn on screens across the world declaring him public enemy #1.

Phrases repeated through his head as he crumbled to the floor of May’s apartment before it got destroyed by the Green Goblin. The words circling around even as he shook with the force he covered his ears with.

“We won Mr. Stark, we won.”

“Just you and me.”

“I’lm gonna find you and tell you everything.”

“I wanna kill him.”

“Please don’t go.”

“I don’t feel too good.”

“You’re gonna forget who I am.”

“My name is Peter Parker and I…. would like a coffee.”

Peter had done his best to outrun his past but it kept on chasing him.

When Bucky Barnes stepped into the small Cafe Peter called his place of work and safe place, he knew that he had to speed up. They were gaining traction and Peter was losing stamina.

Of course Peter knew that the New Avengers had formed and moved into The Tower. Which upset Peter, he just missed the times he hung out there, in the lab with Tony and Bruce, climbing in the vents with Clint, drinking hot chocolate with Nat. Playing cards with Wanda. He didn’t want a new team living in the same building his unconventional family had lived in, but Peter couldn’t stop them from moving in, if he tried.

Peter had immediately recognized Bucky, it wasn’t hard anyway. Memories flashed in the back of his head, of the Civil War, of the start of Tony and his relationship. The start of the best part of his life but the build up for the worst. Of course Peter could never regret helping Tony. He could never wish to reverse the time he spent building a new family, he just wished to reverse the time he spent blipped where he couldn’t help. Maybe Nat would still be alive, Tony too. It was too late now.

The worst part was, Peter immediately noticed the fogginess, the emptiness, of Bucky’s eyes. It was hard not to. Bucky seemed lost, stuck. It was against Peter’s nature to not help, that was why Peter had gifted Bucky the tube of salty crackers, even if it was supposed to be Peter’s pack for the day to keep himself focused. Peter knew the feeling of drifting endlessly for hours, even before The Void, the feeling was familiar. He couldn’t not be of help.

He can only hope Bucky never shows up at his cafe again. He can only hope no one else comes into the cafe. Running, it’s what Peter’s been doing and what he will continue to do.

“Hey Pete, can you cover for Lily Saturday?” Emery, Peter’s boss and the owner of Founders, asked.

“Yeah,” He hummed. It wasn’t strange for Peter to cover for the others that worked at the small cafe, he was typically free except for later in the afternoon when he started his other activities….. spider type hobbies.

Spider-Man was about the only part of his past that he would never run from. He couldn’t. It wouldn’t feel right. Peter has learned time and time again that if you could’ve helped and you didn’t, the result is on you. After all, with great power comes great responsibility. He would never try to run from the duties he needs to fulfill, Spider-Man is how he keeps himself going.

Tony had tried to tell Peter time and time again to be more selfish, to care about his well being more. But of course, Peter has a thick skull that is impossible to penetrate with words. Tony and Bruce once ganged up on Peter when he ended up in the MedBay everyday for a week. Really, they made it seem like a much bigger deal than it ever was. But, now, Peter misses when they’d bicker, he missed when the team had movie nights or when Cap burnt toast so many times he got banned from being around the toaster.

In moments of silence or anything resoundingly quiet, Peter found himself imagining what it would be like if he could still live in the tower with his family. If everyone was still alive and Peter Parker actually existed. What would’ve happened if he was never an idiot and given Beck Tony’s glasses. Maybe May would be alive, maybe he could still hangout with Bruce, and bother Happy. Maybe MJ and Ned would still be his best friends, maybe they’d hang out almost everyday and drive everyone insane with how much trouble they got into.

Maybe doesn’t bring anyone back. Maybe doesn’t reverse the spell Dr. Strange placed. Maybe doesn’t make MJ and Ned remember him. Maybe doesn’t help. Peter had to stop being delusional and start living in reality again.

Hope and maybes are the reason why he had to run. Peter will get better and forget about the thoughts and dreams that could never come true. He can, as long as he can keep running and never see Bucky or anyone else again. As long as Peter can forget about those useless fantasies.

Or maybe just maybe he can join a new family.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3—----- Bucky

By the time Alexei had returned from shopping, Bucky was already back on his floor lying on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. Not really seeing anything at all. As of right now, there wasn’t much to do in the Tower. The only real source of entertainment was the TV and staring at nothing, well unless you wanted to play card or board games with pretty much just yourself.

It was actually about 2 hours after Alexei had gotten back that Bucky had gone up to the Common Floor to see if anyone was there. Alexei was cooking something or other in the kitchen while Yelena tossed a rubber ball up and down. She was lying down on the living room floor and continually throwing the red ball up, catching and repeating.

Bucky stepped around Yelena and walked to the kitchen. He looked around and noticed that there weren’t any groceries on the counters. Oh, they must already have been put away. Bucky lightly tapped Alexei on the shoulder, causing Alexei to stop his humming to some song and turn around.

“Ah! Bucky!” Alexei proclaimed, puffing out his chest and flinging out his arms. “Welcome to the kitchen!” He said it like Bucky had never been in the kitchen at all, like ever.

“Did you get the crackers?” Bucky asked as his only reply.

“Ah, yes my friend!” Alexei answered joyously before spinning around and grabbing a cardboard box from the closest cabinet. He set it down on the counter in front of Bucky. “Here are your American snacks!”

Bucky inspected the box before walking back to the elevator with a muttered, “thank you.”

“Dinner is in 10 minutes!” Alexei called out as Bucky pushed on the button to his floor and stepped into the elevator.

Once on his floor Bucky opened the box and pulled out the plastic filled with the newly bought crackers. He ripped open the bag roughly, causing crackers to go flying around wildly. The thin squares clatter on the floor and crack, sending crumbs everywhere in many different directions.

“Shit,” Bucky swore as he placed the now near empty box onto the counter and grabbed one of the surviving crackers from the bag. He took a bite of it and started to chew as he began slowly picking up the now scattered crackers.

He paused when he noticed how different the taste was from the ones he had eaten earlier. The snacks were not salty at all. Alexei must have grabbed the wrong box. Double shit.

Bucky sighed as he sat on the floor, surrounded by the broken crackers, and leaned against his kitchenette island. He just stared up at the ceiling while he grabbed for one the crackers off the floor with his metal hand. The metal locked up and his false fingers couldn’t grasp the thin piece. God, he wanted to punch something. He hated when anger bubbled up at the simplest and most non-important things.

Bucky gave up trying and just decided to stare at a wall in misery. He thought it was getting better. But maybe it never was and never could.

An elevator dinging rang through Bucky’s ears but he barely heard it.

“Wow, you look like shit,” a familiar Russian voice rang out. It almost sounded like Nat for a second.

Bucky decided to not reply to Yelena’s comment, choosing to instead not move an inch from where he had been sitting for the past few minutes. He felt a body settling down next to him.

“What even happened? Need a cleanup on aisle Bucky?” Yelena spoke again, clearly trying to fill his silence. When he still didn’t reply she sighed, “anyways… Alexei says dinner is ready and he’s gonna force all of us to eat no matter what.”

“So let’s get your big hunky self up and moving, or you can watch as ants eat these crumbs while wallowing in your sorrows,” Yelena continued on, standing up while holding out her hand for Bucky to stand as well.

With a sigh Bucky took her hand and helped himself up. Once he was standing, Bucky tried to flex the fingers of his metal arm. He could move them again.

Silently Yelena led him up to the common floor and past the living room until they arrived at the table. It was crowded with members of the New Avengers in each chair, plates scattered in front of each person.

“Ah Bucky, Yelena, you have arrived! Please sit!” Alexei boasted.

Yelena hummed as she weaved around the filled chairs to an unoccupied chair to the right of Bob and the left of Walker. Bucky choose the empty seat next to Ava and the edge of the wooden dining table.

“So how was everyone’s day?” Alexei asked cheerily.

No one actively tried to engage with him though. Muttered, ‘good’,and ‘ok’s were scattered around the table.

The rest of the dinner continued in a similar manner of awkward attempts at conversation made by Alexei and noncommittal answers. But sometimes silence was better.

~

The next morning Bucky decided to go back to the cafe. He was hoping that Peter would be there again as he wanted to ask about the crackers. Or maybe just make sure the eyes he had stared at were not a hallucination. That Peter did have a haunted look in his eyes. That Peter was like him and many others.

The overhead bell rang as he entered once again. This time though, Bucky was more mentally present. Maybe not fully.

He stepped up to the counter, luckily there was no line. When Bucky made it he noticed that Peter was the one behind the counter again. That’s good.

Peter looked up as Bucky approached and smiled, but it didn’t quite make it to his eyes. It seemed strained. His eyes too. They looked dead again. Haunted, old, hurt. Bucky didn’t imagine it then.

Peter tilted his head to the right slightly, “What can I get started for you?”

“Another black coffee,” Bucky replied as he moved his eyes away from Peter’s to stop himself from staring.

“A bit of cream again?” Peter asked, pulling a coffee cup from the counter and writing on it.

Bucky nodded and they stood in an awkward silence for a second before Bucky cleared his throat, “um, what brand were the crackers from yesterday?”

Peter smiled again, it got closer to his eyes but it never fully reached again. He scoured the counter for something before swiping up a writing pad and the pen he had used to write on the cup previously. “They were Saltines, they’ve got a blue box.” Peter scrawled something onto the pad before ripping the page out and handing it to Bucky.

“Those are some more snacks or foods that help,” Peter hummed as he turned around and got to work on the black coffee.

When Bucky looked down at the paper that was somehow transferred into his hand, he noticed that there were actually quite a few snacks. There were mostly crunchy chips and different brands of salty crackers. Huh.