Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's bright. 

And then it's dark again.

And then it's bright again. Light shining through the window to her room. Yet the heaviness never seems to leave her body. Why? Why must she be trapped in this cycle now? It was hard to think. It was hard to move. The smallest of movements were painfully tiring, her body already stiff from the hours on hours of unwanted stillness. It should be easy- to simply do the very thing she's done repeatedly without issue before. Just get up from the bed, and it'll be fine.

And yet she couldn't.

She was dizzy, exhausted- she was severely thirsty— but walking to the fridge to tear into a blood pack was somehow the hardest thing in the world at that moment. It was hard to keep her eyes open. A sickly feeling in her parched mouth. How long had she been here? A whole day? Two days? No, if she was absent from park duties for that long someone would've probably broken into her room just to check on her. The family was under her care. And yet, the irony of currently being unable to even get out of her own bed was really something.

Her head hurt. 

She closes her eyes again.

The next time she woke up was to the knock at her door, getting increasingly louder as she drifted back into consciousness. Struggling to open her eyes once more. 

"Lady Sancho?"

A voice came from outside the door, followed by another few knocks.

"Your grace? Are you in there?"

It was the Priest. Another few knocks followed by silence. She wished she had the energy to reply- but she couldn't even get up these past… hours? What time was it?

Moving was so difficult.

She manages to shift, finally. After psyching herself up for it for a few minutes. Taking a deep breath as she hauls herself into a sitting position. Immediately, the splitting headache and dizziness take over- making her wince a bit from the pain. The knocks persisted, another call for her name in concern coming from the outside.

Her family was well aware of moments like this at least. It used to happen frequently, back when the rebellion was still a fresh memory in their minds. The bouts of sleepiness overwhelming her came less over time.

Yet in the cases it did flare back up, it was still equally as bad as before.

Sancho eventually manages to swing both legs over the side of the bed to plant her feet on the floor, shaking and weak. It felt like she was learning how to walk again. She supports herself with a hand on the wall, slowly making her way towards the door to at least unlock it. The door opens slowly and she backs away, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up a little more. Gregor peeks into the room, Sancho giving him a nod in acknowledgement.

"Sleep issues again I'm assuming, your grace?"

His relieved sigh that nothing worse had happened came first; then the question in a gentle tone, and she nods once more. She wishes she could say something, to not look so… blatantly exhausted. But things have been stressful as of late. The world felt a little more bleak than it usually already does. Just the idea of even opening her mouth was tiring.

She gestures kind of vaguely to let the other in, shuffling towards the fridge to get a pack for her thirst as the Priest entered and settled on the side. Her movements were rough, stiff. Gregor headed over to help her with the blood pack after noting how she struggled a bit with it. She collapses onto a chair and sighs heavily as the blood finally wets her throat. And for a moment, it felt like she wasn't just struggling to stand just now. Like the invisible weights have just suddenly been lifted from her body.

Sancho channels all her scattered bits of focus onto the movements of drinking from the pack. The rest of the time in between her sips was spent staring down at the table in front of her, desperately just trying to muster any amount of alertness. 

This period of hardship will pass. It always did. It was still going to be possibly a while of this song and dance, but it will go away on its own. She just had to hold out until then.

Sancho never noticed Gregor taking a seat by the table until he suddenly spoke once more.

"I shall… let Lady Rodion and Outis know so we may help with your work as needed, if that is alright."

"Yes," her voice was hoarse and almost akin to a mumble. Sancho clears her throat before repeating her words.

"That will be appreciated… how long… how long have I been asleep?"

"It's currently about 4 in the afternoon, about 20 minutes to 5."

18 hours. She had been drifting in and out of an unrestful, torturous sleep for 18 hours. Sancho lets out another heavy sigh, trying to unruffle her messy and tangled hair with her free hand. Taking another big sip from the bag.

She felt… slightly better. The throbbing headache was still present and not doing her any favors, but the blood was definitely helping a bit. Even if it only temporarily helped alleviate her hunger. That, and the fact she was at least sitting up made being awake a little less painful. 

Gregor merely watches her quietly, adjusting his glasses as Sancho finishes her drink.

"Lady Rodion was attempting to find you today," he begins again as Sancho crumples the bag idly. "She was thinking of inviting you to spend some time together, if you would like to take her up on the offer."

In truth, despite how painful it was- she wanted to go back to sleep. Everything happening as of late has been rough, and that was just the easy choice.

Though of course, that was not truly her only want right now. Spending time with her family sounded alright. Besides, she was getting tired of breathing the same air only circulating in her room at this point. Fresh air would be doing her good, even if not by much.

"Is it still-?" 

It had been about 8 hours or so since her usual wake up time, after all.

"Though she has been searching for the entire day- I'm sure she will be understanding about your current state and will happily still have an open invitation."

Sancho considers, before she tosses the empty pack into the trash from her seat and standing back up. It was best she went now, before she had the time to change her mind and possibly give in to the drowiness again. She had been so tired last night, she didn't really change out of her usual clothes anyway. 

Gregor gets up as well, pushing the chairs in before following behind Sancho as she made her way toward the door. Once again she tried to make herself look at least presentable; adjusting her suit, untangling her hair…

She pauses at the door for a moment like she has forgotten something, looking back slightly at the Priest.

"Thank you for dropping by,"

He nods, expression mostly unchanged. 

"Of course, your grace. If you require assistance, I shall… always be here,"

She scans his face for a bit, and he clears his throat with an awkward smile.

"I… I promise I am not merely saying that as a stock phrase, despite my old duties."

Good enough for now. Sancho gives a weak smile back, before finally walking out the door.