Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You were so close to the stairs leading to freedom, when a whole group of guards came between you, and what would have been the way out. Everything felt hazy.

One of the guards walked towards you, gun raised and aimed at you. Instinctively you raised your hands in the air. Adrian didn’t. Instead, he handed you his glasses, and when the guard was close enough, he managed to disarm him. To both your luck, none of the guards were very well trained or heavily armed. You ducked and they missed their shots. You weren’t sure if everything was moving at double the speed, or if you were only moving at half speed.

Adrian grabbed the gun, immediately taking out the two guards with firearms with two clean headshots. You felt like you were watching a movie, nothing seemed real. Finally, your instinct kicked in and your body moved on its own. You ran towards another guard, landing two punches before he kicked back. You managed to grab his leg, bringing him down. You pressed your hands on him, but nothing happened. He grabbed you by the wrists, pulling you off him. Just in time you guarded yourself with your arm, the knife he’d swung at you leaving a deep cut in your forearm. You didn’t even register the pain. You landed a powerful kick, making him drop the knife. You grabbed it and with a well-placed stab, you’d severed his carotid. You felt the warmth of his blood spill over your fingers.

Meanwhile, Adrian had taken out two more guards. There were only two more left and in a fast, coordinated attack you took them down in just a few minutes. Adrian turned to you, eyes going wide as he saw the blood.
“Are you ok?”
You nodded. “Yeah, most of it isn’t mine. Go, I’m right behind you.”
You sprinted up the stairs, every few feet, Adrian turned around to see if you were still there.
Orpheus would turn around after all.

When the cold mountain air finally touched your face, you took a deep breath. But there was no time to recover, you needed to run. In a matter of minutes, the whole Shangri-La security would be after you.

The air burned in your lungs, twigs scratching your face as you sprinted through the woods. It was still dark, and it took you every bit of concentration you could muster to not trip over branches and roots. Your legs were giving out. The dizziness was getting worse. Something was very wrong. You were ready to just let yourself fall, the thought of lying down and getting swallowed up by the forest floor seemed like heaven by now, when Adrian stopped.
“There is a cave, we’ll hide out in there until we manage to get in touch with the team.”

As soon, as the starry sky above you disappeared behind the rocky ceiling of the cave, you fell to your knees. In the blink of an eye, Adrian was by your side.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He muttered, while searching you for injuries. When he saw your arm, he ripped a strip of fabric from his shirt, tying it tightly around the cut. Then he took your face in his hands again, scanning your face. Pure terror started to spread in his chest. Your eyes weren’t focusing on him.

“Hey, hey, talk to me!” The desperation almost made him choke. Never had he ever been this scared, never for himself and never for anyone else. For someone who always said he didn’t ‘have feelings like most people do’ there were a hell of a lot of feelings going haywire inside of him right now. Finally, your eyes found his.
“It’s fine, we got out.” You felt how heavy your tongue was.

Adrian sat with his back against the wall of the cave, cradling you in his arms, while simultaneously trying to find that damn satellite phone. Finally, he’d found it. With cold, sweaty fingers he tried to set up the connection. Then, after he’d almost given up, there was a voice on the other end.

“Vigilante? Where are you, what happened? Why are you calling so late, is everything fine?” It was Harcourt.
“We got out, we need you to pick us up. We got the plans, but…” His voice betrayed him.
“But what!? Adrian, talk to me!”
“She got exposed to the drug, and she’s not well, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help her.” He was choking. Surprised, he realized his cheeks were wet. “What do I do, what if she dies?”
“She won’t. We activated your tracker, we have your coordinates, we’ll come and get you, hang in there, just make sure she stays awake. We won’t let her die; I promise you that.” The last part was unusually soft for Harcourt, like she knew what you meant to him.

Adrian put the phone to the side. Now all he could do was wait. He couldn’t start a fire, as cold as it was, the smoke would betray your position. He took your hand into his, to hold you, and to his horror it was ice cold.
“Hey, hey, look at me. The others are coming, hang in there, ok? Please, for me, please, please don’t die…please don’t die.”
You opened your eyes, looking up at him. “I fucking jinxed it.”
“What?” He gave you a perplexed look.
“The night before we left, I shouldn’t have said all that shit, I jinxed it.”
“You fucking listen to me, this is not your fault, we’re gonna get out of here and everything will be fine.” Adrian didn’t have the heart to say it out loud, the thing, you yourself were suspecting since you couldn’t burn the guard.

While you were lying there in Adrian’s arms, the dizziness started to subside. You felt the wound on your arm pulsate and you were so, so tired, but slowly but surely your head was getting clearer.

In anticipation of the cold weather in the mountains, both of you had three layers of clothes on you, two undershirts and thick, knitted sweaters. Yours was sliced up the arm and soaked in blood. Although you had regained some cognitive function, you had started to shiver uncontrollably. Even if Adrian tried to keep you warm in his arms, it was no use. If he didn’t do something, you would freeze to death until the others found you.

He sat you up. “Ok, listen, your clothes are wet, and your freezing, we need to get your temperature up.” He gestured for you to lift your arms. You obliged. Carefully, he undressed you, first the sweater, then the shirts until you were down to your bra. Adrian wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but he could swear there was a light blue tint to your skin.
“Alright, come over.” He had taken off his shirts as well, keeping only the sweater, so that now, when you crawled into his lap again and he put the sweater over you too, your chest was pressed against his, skin to skin.
“I saw this in one of those survival shows, it’s like the best thing you can do to stay warm. Kind of like penguins.” Adrian commented.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck. He was warm, his skin so soft and he smelled like Adrian, aftershave and sweat, like home. He was holding you in a tight embrace.
“I’m so, so sorry…” He whispered. He could feel his voice tremble again.
“What for?” You whispered against the sensitive skin of his neck.
“For all of this, I had a bad feeling about this, I should have said something to Harcourt, I shouldn’t have left you alone, I should have been with you.”
“Don’t do this right now. This is not your fault.”

Adrian swallowed hard. You were right, he couldn’t let himself fall into a shame spiral, he needed to be strong, for you. He was drawing small patterns on your back to comfort you. A small sigh escaped you and he could feel your breath on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Are you cold?” You whispered.
“No, you’re just…really close.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Even if you had wanted to, there was no way you were moving.
“No, it’s not, if you don’t take into account the circumstances, it’s pretty nice actually.”
He looked at you. Your head was laying comfortably on his shoulder, and your eyes were closed again.
“Hey.” He nudged your head, prompting you to open your eyes. “Don’t fall asleep.”
“I’m just…so tired.”
“I know. Tell me something, anything.”

You could feel the effects of the Mithridate, it was making you tired, but it also felt a bit like being drunk. Even with everything that was going on, in a strange way, sitting like this, pressed against Adrian was kind of a turn on. Your inhibitions were slowly fading. If you’d been able to move…God, the things you would have wanted to do to this man. Instead, you started talking.

“You wanna know what they put me in prison for?”
“You killed those guys working for Luthorcorp when they tried to kidnap you, right?”
“Yeah…that’s not all. You know my mom sold me out to them, but I got away, I was on the run for a while.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“What you don’t know, and I never told anybody this, but at some point, I knew it was only a matter of time before they would catch me and lock me up. I went back home. I confronted my mom.” You made a small pause. Talking was exhausting. You could feel Adrian’s eyes on you.

“She was scared shitless when I showed up. She thought I was somewhere locked up, if not at Luthorcorp, at least in some prison. In the beginning, I just wanted to talk to her. I just wanted to know how she could sell me out like that. We started arguing. I think she was genuinely scared of me. She came at me with a kitchen knife. I panicked and I…it was an accident, I just wanted to stop her. Well, I did.”
You closed your eyes again, this time not because of the tiredness, you didn’t want to see Adrian’s reaction.

He gently bumped his nose into yours, making you look at him.
“What happened then?”
“We had a neighbor, Becky Miller, she came over to talk to my mom, she saw the whole kitchen covered in blood. She called the cops. They didn’t really care what I had to say. First thing I got collard, and then they took me straight to Belle Reve. In the beginning there were talks about putting me into Arkham, they thought I just came back to kill her as pay back. Lucky for me, they decided against it.”

Adrian placed a small kiss on your forehead. “I’m so sorry all that shit happened to you. But you know this is not your fault, right?”
You scoffed. “Kind of is. If it weren’t for me, those people would still be alive, my mom would still be alive. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking hated her guts for what she put me through, but she was still my mom, you know? There is like this strange discrepancy between the parent that lives in your mind, the version you want, and need, the one you deserve, and then there is the one right in front of you, who looks exactly the same, but all they do is fuck you up.”

Adrian freed one of his hands, cupping your cheek, stroking it lightly. He was getting really good at this whole comforting thing. You could feel tears stream down your face. At this point, if anything ever would happen between you two, you were sure you would immediately start crying as a pavlovian response to him holding you.
“There are these moments…” You continued. “Where I just wish my mom was here, but like more the concept of a mom, than who she actually was, does that make sense?”

Adrian nodded. “We need to change the subject; this is bumming you out. I need you to be as little bummed out as possible right now.”
“I don’t have that many funny stories, I fear. The only nice thing in this situation right now, is you.” You snuggled up closer to him.

Adrian licked his lips. An idea had formed in his head, and like with a lot of his ideas he was not sure if this was a hundred percent hit or miss. “You wanna elaborate on that?”
You raised your head to look up at him. “Elaborate on what?”
“On how nice this is? Because I think it’s really nice too…not the kind of thing friends would do.”

You let out a laugh. A little weight lifted off his chest. You put your head back on his shoulder, where it was warm, and you could feel his heart beat faster.
“Actually, I think this would be one of the only things friends would do. This is kind of a life-or-death situation, I think under these circumstances, friends would do a lot of things. Anyway, since when do you care what friends do and don’t?”
“I generally don’t, just thought you’d find it funny. And you did.”

“Yeah…you’re right. Anyway, the things I sometimes think about you, are definitely not things you think about friends.”
“Like what?”
“Like kissing you. I think about kissing you a lot. It’s just…complicated, you know?”
“Complicated how?” He needed to keep you talking.
“Like…I do wanna kiss you all the time, and touch you, because it feels really, really good but then I get super scared that something changes and I somehow fuck it up, and then I pull back and I don’t want to hurt you either so I’m kinda torn between wanting to rip your clothes off and wanting to run in the opposite direction. I mean, look where we are. This shit wouldn’t have happened if we’d kept it professional. At least I know that I get distracted when you’re near me and…I don’t know.”

Adrian scanned you. “Alright, this is bumming me out now, let’s go back to the kissing part?”
You let out a small laugh again. “What else do you want me to say? Do you think about kissing me?”
His voice was low. “Yeah, I do. A lot. And I also think about a lot of other stuff to do to you.”
You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “Like what?”
“I would like to kiss your lips, then your cheek, your jaw and down to your tits.” He placed a soft kiss on your neck. You shifted to adjust for the knot forming in your core.
“I want to run my fingers over your stomach and take off your bra. I want to touch you in all the places, that make you moan and beg for more.”

“Fuck, I didn’t know you thought about me like that…I thought you said you don’t think that much about sex.” You whispered.
“I don’t think a lot about sex, but I do think about sex with you, because I want to feel every inch of you, I want to make you feel good…so good…and I want you to moan my name and beg for more and I want you to know you’re mine, and mine only.”

Somehow, Adrian’s plan to turn you on in order to get you to warm up had not only turned him on, but also escalated into something a lot more emotional than he had anticipated.
“I want to be as close to you as possible, I want to see your face when you feel me and I want to leave bruises on you, so everybody knows…” Now it was his turn to shift to get more comfortable.

You could feel him getting hard and you moved just a little closer so he could feel the friction.
“When we get out of here, I want you to fuck me until I see stars.” You whispered back und you felt him tense under you.
“You’re not you right now, let’s see when we get out of here, ok?” Talking to you about his fantasies was one thing, but making actual plans was something entirely different. Not, that he wouldn’t have wanted you, but he knew that right now, you were not in your right mind. A big part of him feared, that you were only saying this because you didn’t think you’d get out of here, or because the situation had you feeling especially vulnerable or the Mithridate was messing with your mind, making you more susceptible to everything.

You sensed something was up. “Adrian?”
“Hm?”
“What is it? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to put any pressure on you, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Adrian almost laughed. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything, if anything, I should be sorry. This is not really fair to you, you lost a lot of blood, you’re in shock. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea…”

You raised your hand, pulling his face down so he was forced to look at you.
“Listen to me.” You began. “Firstly, this was a great idea, because guess what, I’m not cold anymore. And, secondly, I’m pretty sure you’re in shock too, so we’re even. I do mean what I say, the only difference is, that right now I have no problem saying them out loud to you. And I don’t really want to think about those consequences for now. All I know is, that I care so much about you and I never, ever want to do something you don’t like. So, if you tell me, that you do like this, I’m in, truly I am.”

Adrian watched your face; your cheeks were flushed. His eyes slipped to your lips, but he caught himself in time.
“Ok, listen.” His voice was raspy. “We keep talking, but nothing else. I don’t want you to regret anything later. This is too important to me to fuck it up like this. And I know I’m good at fucking things up because I don’t think, but this…this is…”
His lips were hovering over yours. By now you felt almost feverish. You didn’t move to close the distance between you. You just hovered there, almost touching his lips.
“That sounds like a deal.”

You shifted again against him, a low moan escaping him from the friction.
“You need to stop moving, I can’t take it.” He plead, breathless.
“I can’t help it…” Now you were teasing him. “I just wanted to make myself comfortable.”
“Bullshit…ahh.”
“How can you expect me to stop moving when you make these pretty little sounds?”
“We have a deal…”
“I am honoring that deal, I already sat on your lap before, I’m not taking it any further.”
“You drive me fucking crazy.” Now it was him burying his face in your neck. You felt his hot, quick breath on you. In response you moved against him, very slowly, but deliberately. You could feel his teeth grazing your skin. When you dragged your nails down his back, you felt him bite down. A sigh left your lips and the pressure form his jaw increased ever so slightly.

“You’re gonna leave a mark, the others will see…” You reminded.
“Sorry…” He started kissing the spot, as if to apologize to your body as well. This got you a lot more riled up than you thought was possible.
“Fuck, Chris was right, you really do have a talent for finding weak spots.”
Adrian lifted his head, looking at you. “What?”
“He told me you were responsible for the improvements in my suit.”
“And he said I was good in finding weak spots?”
“Yeah like, in the armor, or in a suit to be exact…and I guess you’re good at finding my weak spots too.””

A grin grew on his face and almost immediately faltered again.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
You gave him a serene smile. He was right, you were not all there but now, instead of dread and horror, warmth and need had filled your insides.
“Because he told me not to tell you.”
“So, why are you telling me now?”
“Because now, I don’t really have a filter, so when this is over, please pretend you don’t know I said that, ok?”

Adrian nodded. “Do you want me to pretend about the rest too?”
You lightly ran your nails over his back again. “No, the rest I want you to remember. And as shit as this situation is, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, because I don’t think I would have had the courage to tell you all of these things otherwise. I’m not the best at making myself vulnerable. And I’m glad you know now. I care about you so much, every time I look at your face, I feel like my heart is about to melt. And if anything ever happened to you I would burn the whole world to the ground.”

He stared at you for a second. It had to be the drugs talking. There was no way, anyone would actually feel this way about him, and then tell him about it this unbothered. Every word you spoke had the potential to absolutely end him. He was sure you didn’t even know how much power you held over him. He wanted to give it to you, hand you his heart on a silver platter and then thank you when you would crush it in your hand.

Before he could answer, you heard voices outside the cave. You pressed your hand against his mouth, staring into his eyes. His mirrored the worry in yours. You were in no shape to defend yourself, if they found you, you were fucked. You could feel his heart beat like that of a hunted rabbit. You leaned over to whisper in his ear.
“Not a sound. And if they find us, you do everything to get out of here, you need to get the plans to the others.”
He made a muffled sound in protest, but you kept pressing you hand over his mouth.
The voices grew louder, but you still couldn’t make out what they were saying. But one thing was for sure, you were fucked.