Chapter Text
The air in Pope Leo XIV’s private study was thick with the smell of old paper and brewing espresso. Stacks of books and annotated manuscripts formed unstable towers on the mahogany desk. In the center of this scholarly chaos sat the Pope himself, a man with a sharp, thoughtful face creased in concentration.
Across from him, Cardinal Luis Antonio “Chito” Tagle leaned forward, his usual gentle smile on his lips as he traced a line of text with his finger.
“This passage in Gravissimum Educationis,” Chito said, his voice warm and melodic. “The one about the state's duty to ensure access to education. Your Holiness’s draft beautifully expands on it, but maybe… a hint of Ratzinger’s hermeneutic of continuity here? From the editorial notes of the ‘History of Vatican II’ project, I remember a nuance…”
Pope Leo’s eyes, usually focused and serious, softened. He didn’t look at the text but at Chito. “Ah, you would remember that. Your service on that board was before my time, but its brilliance has long preceded you. I find myself,” he paused, picking up his espresso cup, “constantly relying on the foundations you helped create.”
“Your Holiness flatters an old scholar’s memory,” Chito said, though a little blush touched his cheeks.
"Please, Chito. In this room, we are two theologians wrestling with the Spirit. And the Spirit,” the Pope said, taking a slow sip, “seems to speak most clearly through your insights. It’s why I asked for your help. No one else understands the heart of this Council, or my own, quite like you do.”
Cardinal Tagle looked down, a genuine, flustered smile breaking through. “You make it sound as if the Council fathers and I shared biko over dinner. Though I confess, working with you on this feels just as… collaborative.”
From their posts by the door, the two secretaries watched the exchange. Marco, young and new to the papal household, leaned toward the veteran, Edgar, his eyes wide.
“Are they… always like this?” Marco whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. “All the ‘your brilliance,’ ‘your heart’? It sounds less like a theological debate and more like my grandparents when they’re being sentimental.”
Edgar, a man who had served Pope Leo even before pontiff and had seen everything from tantrums to miracles, didn’t turn his head. He kept his eyes fixed on a point on the far wall with calm expression.
“Yes,” Edgar whispered back, his voice like a dry leaf. “Get used to it. This has been going on since the Synod on the new bishops in ‘24. His Holiness calls it ‘doctrinal refinement.’ I call it the world’s most learned and prolonged courtship. Just be thankful they’ve moved on from quoting Augustine at each other. That was particularly elaborate.”
Back at the desk, Leo stood and moved to a bookshelf, pulling down a heavy, leather-bound book. He brought it over and placed it gently in front of Chito, his hand lingering on the cover, close to the Cardinal’s.
“This is the original annotated galley proofs from the International Theological Commission, from your time there, under our beloved Emeritus. I had it brought up from the archives. I thought… perhaps we could look at the section on the ‘right of conscience’ together. Your marginal notes, I’m told, are enlightening.”
Chito looked up at Leo, his gaze meeting the Pope’s. The air between them buzzed with unspoken words and sixty years of Church history.
“To revisit one’s youth with such a guide,” Chito said softly, his fingers brushing the cover where Leo’s hand still rested. “It is a rare privilege. I am at your service, Your Holiness.”
Marco glanced desperately at Edgar, who merely gave a slow, weary blink.
“See?” Edgar murmured. “Now it’s marginal notes. Just wait until they start debating the gendered language of the Holy Spirit in the original Greek. It lasts for hours. I’ll order more espresso.”
The soft scratch of Pope Leo’s fountain pen filled the silence after the secretaries’ whispered exchange. He was jotting a note in the margin of his draft, his brow furrowed in concentration.
“You are right, Chito,” Leo said without looking up. “The Ratzingerian nuance is essential. But we must be careful not to let the secular press see it as a retreat from the Council’s openness.” Finally lifting his gaze, he had a playful glint in his eye. “You always had a talent for leading us into complex, but beautiful, theological thickets.”
Cardinal Tagle laughed, his warm, genuine sound brightening the room. “Me? Oh, Your Holiness. I merely point out the path. You are the one who must clear it for the whole Church. That’s a heavy burden.” He reached for his coffee cup, a soft, mischievous expression on his face. “Though I remember you carried many of Joseph’s heaviest books back in the day. Your shoulders are… used to it.”
This time, Marco didn’t need to whisper. He shot a wide-eyed look at Edgar, who replied with a subtle sigh and a slow, confirming nod.
Pope Leo set his pen down carefully. “Some burdens are a privilege. And some,” he said, lowering his voice, “are lightened by the company one keeps.” He pointed to the monumental text before them. “This document… feels less like a burden and more like a conversation. With the Council fathers, with the faithful… and with you.”
Chito seemed to warm under Leo’s words, with posture softening. Despite the grey in his hair, he looked young to Marco. He looked like a man being seen.
“The feeling is mutual, Santo Padre.” Chito replied, the formal title slipping out with deep affection. “Working at the level of ideas with a mind like yours is a gift. It reminds me why I entered theology in the first place. The pursuit of truth, in charity.”
“In caritate veritatis,” Leo murmured, He held Chito’s gaze. “The two are inseparable. Charity without truth is just sentimentality. Truth without charity is coldness.” He paused, allowing the weight of the phrase to settle between them. “You have always shown that balance for me, Chito. A warm heart, never compromising a sharp mind.”
Edgar sensed the conversation was reaching an intense level of personal theology, so he decided to step in. He took two quiet steps forward.
“Your Holiness? Your Eminence?” he said, his voice steady and neutral. “The Prefect for the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith is scheduled in twenty minutes. Perhaps a short break?”
The spell was broken. Pope Leo blinked, as if returning from another realm, and straightened his white cassock. “Yes. Of course, Edgar. Thank you.”
Cardinal Tagle leaned back, a small, private smile lingering as he began to gather his notes carefully.
“Will you still be in Roma tomorrow, Chito?” Leo asked casually, though the question was anything but.
“I am, Santo Padre.”
“Excellent,” the Pope said, rising to his feet. “Join me for dinner. We can continue our conversation. This draft is due to the printers in a week, and your insights on the section regarding Catholic universities are, I suspect, crucial...”
“I would be honored, Your holiness,” Chito said, standing as well. “I’ve been thinking about that section. I think I have a few ideas you might find stimulating.”
As Cardinal Tagle made his way out, bowing slightly at the door, Marco stared after him, then at the Pope, who was looking at the closed door with deep, quiet contentment.
Once they were alone in the anteroom, Marco turned to Edgar, disbelief written on his face. “Dinner? ‘Stimulating ideas’? This is… this is…”
Edgar placed a firm hand on Marco’s shoulder, guiding him down the corridor.
“Fr. Marco, Mio Amico,” Edgar said, his voice carrying the weight of experience. “By the time they’re debating the transubstantiation of a shared glance over antipasto, you’ll be an expert. Now, come on. We need to inform the Swiss Guard and the kitchen. And for the love of all that is holy, we must ensure the wine is a Barolo. His Holiness becomes especially eloquent about the nuances of grace when they serve the Barolo.”
Chapter 2
Notes:
You may find traces of heavy theology within these lines. If any notion calls for clarity, you are most welcome to ask. This work flows solely from my own reflections, perhaps imperfect, yet earnest in its pursuit of meaning and feeling.
Chapter Text
The private papal dining room was a far cry from the austere study. Warm lamplight pooled on the polished walnut table, glinting off the simple but elegant silver and crystal. A single rose in a crystal vase provided a splash of deep crimson.
Marco, having been given the unprecedented task of selecting the wine under Edgar’s exacting supervision, now stood fidgeting with a napkin. “Should we… stay? To serve the courses? What if His Holiness needs something?”
Edgar, who was performing a final, microscopic inspection of the place settings, didn’t look up. “The only thing His Holiness will ‘need’ tonight is to not have two gawking secretaries witnessing his attempt to explain Christology through the medium of tiramisu. Our duty ends at the door.”
A soft chime echoed through the apartment. Edgar’s head snapped up. “That’s him. Places.”
Cardinal Tagle entered, looking slightly windswept and more vibrant than he had in the formal study. He had exchanged his formal house cassock for a simple black suit and clerical shirt, a small but significant relaxation of protocol.
“Your Eminence,” Edgar said with a deep, respectful bow, which Marco hurriedly mimicked.
“Fr. Edgar, Fr. Marco,” Chito greeted them, his smile easy. “Thank you for preparing this. It smells wonderful.”
Before Marco could even form the thought of offering to take his coat, Pope Leo emerged from his private quarters. He, too, had shed his white papal simar for a simple, stark white cassock—still unmistakably papal, but a more personal, at-home version.
“Chito,” Leo said, his voice warm with welcome. “Please, come in. Make yourself at home.”
As if on cue, and with a naturalness that stunned Marco, Cardinal Tagle smiled and began to shrug off his suit jacket. “Thank you, Santo Padre. It is good to be here.” He handed the jacket to Edgar, who received it as if it were a sacred vestment.
Leo watched him, a fond look in his eyes. “It is a shame I cannot reciprocate so easily. It’s not as if I can remove this,” he gestured to his own white cassock, “and cease to be the Pope.”
Chito’s eyes sparkled as he took his seat. “Perhaps not. But you could be… less formal. It is late, after all. And it’s just me. No one would mind.” His tone was light, but the suggestion was intimate.
Leo considered for a moment, then glanced at Edgar. A silent communication passed between them. “You know,” the Pope said, “you are right. Edgar, would you accompany me for a moment?”
“Of course, Your Holiness.”
Marco, utterly lost, stood frozen by the door as Edgar followed the Pope out of the dining room and into his private bedroom. Inside, Leo went directly to a simple armoire and pulled out a well-worn, soft black cardigan and a pair of dark grey trousers.
“A rebellion, Edgar?” Leo asked, a rare, almost boyish grin on his face as he began to change.
“A long-overdue one, if I may say so, Santo Padre,” Edgar replied, holding the white cassock as the Pope swapped it for the comfortable clothes. He watched as Leo, now in the simple trousers and button-down shirt, pulled the cardigan over his shoulders. Then, to Edgar’s amusement, the Pope stepped in front of a small mirror and ran a hand through his silver hair, trying to tame a recalcitrant curl.
“Do I look… presentable?” Leo asked, uncharacteristically self-conscious.
Edgar felt a surge of deep, paternal affection for the man he had served for decades. He allowed a dry, teasing smile to touch his lips. “Your Holiness, if I may be so bold, you look like a distinguished university professor about to have a very pleasant dinner with his favorite colleague. Which is, I believe, the entire point.”
Leo chuckled, a free, relaxed sound. “You know me so well.”
Back in the dining room, Marco had been nervously straightening the same rose for the fifth time when the door reopened. He looked up and his jaw nearly dropped. The Pope, in simple black and grey, looked… ordinary. Human. Happy.
“My apologies for the delay,” Leo said, resuming his seat opposite Chito.
Cardinal Tagle’s smile was brilliant and full of genuine delight. “Now, Bob,” he said, emphasizing the name with profound satisfaction. “Now, you look at home.”
As Edgar gently but firmly guided a stunned Marco out of the room, closing the double doors behind them, the last thing they heard was the Pope’s reply, warm and soft.
“I am, Chito. I truly am.”
Outside, Marco stared at the closed doors. “He… he changed his clothes.”
Edgar patted him on the back. “Yes, Fr. Marco. He did. And tomorrow, you can start drafting the memo on the theological significance of a good wool cardigan. Now, let’s go. Our work here is done. The rest is between them, and the Holy Spirit… though I suspect the Holy Spirit is just enjoying the show.”
The rich, ruby depths of the Barolo swirled in Pope Leo’s glass. “The Augustinian in me is always wary,” he began, his voice a low, thoughtful rumble. “The human mind, in its pride, can mistake its own clever constructions for the architecture of divine truth. A Catholic university must be a place that guards against that. A fortress of doctrina christiana.” He took a sip, his eyes, sharp and blue, fixed on Chito over the rim of the glass.
Cardinal Tagle leaned forward, his elbows on the table, a gesture of such un-papal-household informality that it was, in itself, a kind of flirtation. “Ah, but the Ignatian in me sees it differently, Bob,” he said, using the intimate name with a gentle daring. “We are to find God in all things. Even in the seemingly profane. Is not a university the ultimate laboratory for that search? Not a fortress to keep the world out, but a… a heart, pumping the blood of faith into the veins of every discipline. A feeling for the faith, not just an intellectual assent.”
“A feeling?” Leo raised an eyebrow, a classic Augustinian move of skepticism. “Sentiment is a fickle guide, Chito. It was Augustine who taught us to look inward, to the inner master. The truth resides within, but it must be disciplined, ordered by the intellect, illuminated by grace.” He paused, letting the words hang. “Your ‘heart’ pumping faith… it risks becoming… messy.”
“And is love not messy, Bob?” Chito countered, his eyes sparkling. He took a deliberate sip of his own wine. “The love of Christ for his Church? It is not a tidy syllogism. It is a scandal to the Greeks and folly to the Gentiles. A university that follows this Christ must have the courage to enter the mess, to find the traces of the divine in the chaotic, beautiful struggle of human inquiry.” He gestured with his glass. “This Barolo… it is not a tidy wine. It is bold, complex, with a tension between fruit and tannin. It is… stimulating. Would you relegate it to the cellar for being too messy?”
Pope Leo couldn’t suppress a smile. He looked at Chito, at the passionate, joyful intelligence in his face, and felt the rigid walls of his own Augustinianism soften at the edges. “You use the language of the senses to argue for the transcendence of the intellect. A very Jesuit trick.”
“It is not a trick,” Chito said softly, his gaze holding Leo’s. “It is an encounter. The Spiritual Exercises are not a philosophy text; they are a guide to a personal encounter with Christ. That is what education should be. An encounter. An intellectual and spiritual affair of the heart.”
The phrase landed between them, heavy with double meaning. The fire crackled in the hearth.
“An affair of the heart,” Leo repeated slowly, swirling the wine in his glass. He looked from the deep red liquid to the deep brown of Chito’s eyes. “You speak of a riskier path. Augustine sought the rest of the heart in God alone. You Jesuits seem to find God by setting the heart perpetually, restlessly, on fire.”
“Perhaps,” Chito murmured, his voice dropping to an intimate register that barely carried across the table. “But is a heart on fire not closer to the God who is a consuming fire? Closer than a heart simply… at rest?”
For a long moment, the only sound was the pop of the embers in the fireplace. The theology had become so personal, so thinly veiled, that it was now the very substance of their flirtation. They were no longer talking about universities; they were talking about themselves.
Leo finally broke the gaze, looking down at his glass with a small, conceding smile. “You would have made a formidable opponent at the Council, Chito. You argue with the relentless hope of your order. It is… a difficult light to resist.”
“It is not meant to be resisted, Bob,” Chito said, his smile gentle but unwavering. “It is only meant to be… encountered. Now, tell me more about this ‘disordered’ intellect you are so worried about. I find I am fascinated by the things you wish to put in order.”
The main course—a simple roast lamb with rosemary—sat largely untouched between them. The true sustenance was the conversation.
“You speak of the ‘disordered intellect’,” Chito continued, leaning so far forward the space between them felt charged. “But what is disorder but a system we have not yet understood? Grace is not a cage that forces chaos into line. It is the key that unlocks the pattern. It reveals the hidden order, the logos, in what seems like madness.”
Leo felt the argument like a physical touch, a challenge that thrilled him. “A dangerously beautiful sentiment, Chito. It verges on… universalism. It suggests that every stray thought, every errant desire, contains a secret, divine spark waiting to be fanned.” He mirrored the Cardinal’s posture, closing the distance. “That is a fire that could consume a man, not just illuminate him.”
“Perhaps some men are meant to be consumed,” Chito countered, his voice dropping to a hushed, provocative tone. “Ubi amor, ibi oculus. Where there is love, there is insight. The desire for understanding, the eros for truth… is that not a holy fire? Should we not, as you said earlier, enter the thicket?” He held Leo’s gaze, unwavering. “Even if it means getting lost for a while?”
The air grew thick. Leo’s breath caught slightly. This was no longer about universities.
“The Confessions,” Leo began, his voice a low rasp, “are a map of a man lost in the thickets of his own desires. Augustine’s restlessness only found its end in the absolute, the unchanging. In You, God.” He emphasized the word, making it personal, direct. “Not in the tantalizing, flickering shadows of creation.”
“But what if,” Chito whispered, his hand resting palm-up on the table, a gesture of both offering and invitation, “the ‘You’ is not found by turning away from the shadows, but by recognizing that the light which casts them is the same light that illuminates the end? Contemplativus in actione. To find God in all things… is to find that every desire, rightly ordered, points back to its source. Every eros is a potential agape.”
He was speaking of desire. Holy desire, yes, but the word hung in the air, stripped of all its academic pretense.
Leo felt a flush of heat that had nothing to do with the Barolo. Chito was not just debating him; he was undressing his soul with theological precision, laying bare a longing that was as intellectual as it was visceral.
“To ‘rightly order’…” Leo echoed, his eyes dark and intense. “That is the work of a lifetime. A rigorous, often painful, asceticism. It requires a… a director. A guide who is not afraid of the fire.”
Chito’s smile was soft, knowing, and utterly devastating. “Or perhaps, Bob, it requires a companion. Someone to stand in the fire with you. Not to quench it, but to help you understand its nature. To feel its heat… together.”
He picked up his glass, his eyes never leaving Leo’s. “The Spirit is a fire. The Word is a fire. Why should the space between two minds seeking truth be any different? Why should it not be… a refining flame?”
Leo was silent, utterly captivated. The carefully constructed defenses of a lifetime, the intellectual fortifications of his Augustinian faith, were being dismantled not by force, but by an irresistible, joyful warmth. He saw in Chito’s face not an opponent, but the embodiment of the very ‘stimulating idea’ he had invited—a living, breathing, beautiful challenge to his entire way of being.
He slowly reached for his own glass, his fingers brushing against Chito’s as he did so. The contact was electric.
“A refining flame,” Leo repeated, his voice barely audible. He clinked his glass gently against Chito’s. “Then let us… continue our studies. Let us see what is forged in this particular fire.”
The clink of their glasses seemed to hang in the air, a sacred bell tolling the start of a new rite. Leo did not pull his hand back. He let his fingers rest against Chito’s, the coolness of the crystal a stark contrast to the warmth of the touch.
“This ‘refining flame’,” Leo began, his voice low and intimate, “it suggests an alchemy. A transformation of the base self into something… purer. More precious.” He paused, his thumb subtly shifting to brush against Chito’s knuckle. “But the process requires the base material to be utterly dissolved. To lose its form. That is a terrifying prospect for any element… or any man.”
Chito’s breath hitched almost imperceptibly. He turned his hand slightly, allowing the contact to become a more deliberate intertwining of their fingertips on the tablecloth.
“Is it loss of form,” he countered, his voice a husky whisper, “or is it the discovery of its true form? The gold does not know it is gold until it has passed through the fire. It only knows the dull constraints of the ore.” His eyes were deep pools of kindness and daring. “Perhaps we are all ore, Bob, clinging to a shape that is not our own. The flame is not destruction. It is… liberation. An invitation to become what we are truly meant to be.”
Leo felt the words seep into him, a theology of desire that felt more real than any encyclical. “And what if what we are ‘meant to be’ exists only in relation to the fire itself?” he asked, his gaze dropping to their connected hands before returning to Chito’s face. “What if the gold’s true purpose is not to be a coin or a crown, but simply to reflect the beauty of the flame that forged it?”
It was as direct as he had ever been. The metaphor was now transparent.
A beautiful blush rose on Chito’s cheeks. He leaned in closer, the space between them vanishing.
“Then the flame is blessed,” Chito murmured, “for in revealing the gold, it too is revealed. Its heat is given purpose. Its light, a canvas.” He used his free hand to gently trace the rim of his wine glass. “The Song of Songs… it is not a treaty. It is a poem. It speaks of the ‘flames of Yah,’ a fire that is both terrifying and all-consuming in its love. ‘Love is strong as death… its flashes are flashes of fire.’ Perhaps theology has been too afraid of the poem, Bob.”
“The poem lacks the precision of doctrine,” Leo breathed out, his own heart hammering against his ribs like a frantic bird. He was the Pope, the defender of doctrine, and here he was, being seduced by a psalm.
“Precision can be a cage,” Chito whispered, his face now so close Leo could feel the warmth of his breath. “But a poem… a poem is an open field. It is a space where the heart can run, can gasp, can praise without the need for a single footnote. Do you not ever tire of the footnotes, Bob? Do you not wish, just once, to write the poem?”
Leo’s resolve, the very bedrock of his identity, shattered. He saw no heresy in Chito’s eyes. He saw only an invitation to a deeper, more terrifying, and more beautiful truth.
“I…” Leo’s voice failed him. He swallowed, his throat dry. “I do not know how to write the poem, Chito. I have only ever written… footnotes.”
Chito’s smile was infinitely tender, a sun breaking through clouds. He gave Leo’s hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
“Then let me teach you,” he said, his words a soft vow. “The first line is always the hardest. It begins with a single, honest word.”
The room was silent, waiting. The fire crackled in the hearth, a sympathetic echo of the flame between them. Leo looked at their joined hands, then into the eyes of the man who had just offered him not a theological argument, but a salvation of the heart.
He took a breath, ready to speak his first, honest word.
The word that escaped Leo’s lips was not a word of doctrine or theology. It was a name, spoken with the reverence of a prayer and the vulnerability of a confession.
“Chito.”
It was enough. It was the first line of their poem.
A profound stillness settled over Chito, his playful daring softening into something awestruck and deeply moved. He had scaled the Augustinian walls and found not a fortress, but a man.
“Yes, Bob?” he whispered, his thumb stroking the back of the Pope’s hand, a gentle, rhythmic benediction.
“I have spent a lifetime… ordering my thoughts,” Leo began, his voice raw, the careful cadence of the pulpit gone. “I believed that if I could structure the universe with the right logic, the right syllogisms, I would find God waiting at the end. A perfect, silent conclusion.” He looked down at their hands, a sight more theologically disruptive than any heresy. “But you… you speak of a God who is not a conclusion, but a… a presence. In the mess. In the… the feeling.” He almost flinched at the inadequacy of the word, but Chito’s grasp tightened, encouraging him.
“It is not a weak word, ‘feeling’,” Chito said gently. “Not when it is the feeling of the heart resting in God. The Sentire cum Ecclesia… to feel with the Church. It is an Ignatian principle. It is a knowledge of the soul, not just the mind.” He leaned in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial hush. “What is your soul feeling now, Bob? In this moment, with the fire and the silence and the wine? Forget the footnotes. What does the poem say?”
The directness was breathtaking. It was a confessor’s question, but one posed to a Pope by the one person who dared to see past the white cassock to the man inside. Leo felt the last of his defenses crumble.
“It says…” Leo’s breath hitched. He looked up, and his eyes were glistening in the firelight. “It says it is tired of being alone at the summit. It says it has been… cold.”
The confession hung in the air, more intimate than a kiss.
Chito’s expression melted into one of immense compassion. He slowly, deliberately, lifted their joined hands and pressed his lips against Leo’s knuckles. It was not a gesture of submission, but of anointing.
“The summit is an illusion,” Chito murmured against his skin, his words a warm caress. “God is not in the thin, cold air of the peak. He is here.” He looked around the warm, intimate room, his gaze finally returning to Leo, blazing with conviction. “In the here. In the shared bread, the shared wine, the shared silence between two friends. Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.”
Where charity and love are, God is there.
Leo felt the truth of it in his very bones. It was a more powerful conversion than any he had ever experienced. The weight of his solitude, a burden he had carried for decades, seemed to lift from his shoulders. A single tear escaped, tracing a path down his cheek he did not bother to hide.
Chito reached up with his free hand and, with infinite tenderness, wiped it away. His touch was electric, a sacrament of its own.
“The poem does not have to be written alone, Bob,” Chito whispered, his face now so close their foreheads were nearly touching. “Let us write it together. Let the next line be… a rest. A simple, shared rest.”
He didn’t move to pull Leo towards the bedroom, or to any other physical conclusion. The consummation he offered was far more profound: the dissolution of loneliness. The simple, staggering gift of presence.
Leo closed his eyes, surrendering to the warmth of the hand in his, the voice in his ear, the presence that filled the void in the room and in his soul.
“Yes,” he breathed out, the word a sigh of relief, a benediction, a beginning. “A rest.”
And for the first time in a very, very long time, Pope Leo XIV, the successor of Peter, the Vicar of Christ, simply allowed himself to be, to feel, and to be held—not by the unyielding structures of doctrine, but by the merciful, messy, and infinitely beautiful flames of a love that was, at last, human.
The massive, spotless kitchen was silent save for the hum of a commercial refrigerator. Marco stood frozen, holding a tray of unused dessert plates, his eyes wide with a mixture of duty and panic.
"They've been in there for... I don't know," he whispered, as if the walls themselves might report back. "What… what do you think is happening?"
Edgar was calmly pouring three glasses of a very nice grappa that wasn't on the official household inventory. He handed one to Marco, who took it mechanically, and another to a third man who had just slipped in—Daniel, a sharp-eyed man in his forties who had served Pope Francis and now assisted Leo's team. Daniel had the air of a man who had seen it all and found most of it mildly amusing.
"Right now?" Edgar said, taking a slow sip. "Based on the progression, His Holiness is likely explaining the Augustinian concept of ordo amoris—the right ordering of love. Very intense. Very serious."
Daniel nodded sagely, leaning against the marble countertop. "Ah, but that’s when Cardinal Tagle will counter. He’ll smile, that gentle, devastating smile, and say something like, ‘But Bob, does not right order sometimes emerge from a holy disorder? Like the Spirit at Pentecost?’”
Marco’s jaw dropped. “He calls him Bob?”
“Only when the theological foundations are being gently shaken,” Edgar confirmed. “It’s a sign of the conversation reaching a certain… depth.”
“And then,” Daniel continued, warming to his theme, “our Holy Father will lean back, steepling his fingers. He’ll quote a dense passage from De Trinitate, and the Cardinal will laugh, a warm, joyful sound, and accuse him of using Augustine as a defensive wall.”
“A wall against what?” Marco asked, utterly lost.
“Against the unsettling, incarnational joy of the Jesuit perspective,” Edgar stated matter-of-factly. “It’s a classic dynamic. The Augustinian mind seeks the perfect, eternal City of God. The Jesuit heart finds God in the messy, beautiful streets of the human city. Their dialogues are a… a spiritual courtship.”
Marco’s mind was reeling. “A courtship?”
“Of ideas, Marco,” Daniel clarified, though his eyes held a glint of deeper meaning. “They are not debating to win. They are conversing to meet each other, intellectually. They are building a bridge between their two theological worlds, and the construction process is… profoundly personal.”
“Right now,” Edgar added, “they are in the most delicate phase. The formalities have fallen away. They are speaking the language of their most deeply held convictions. It’s a mutual unveiling of the intellect. It requires immense trust.”
Marco stared, trying to comprehend. He was now visualizing a slow, careful building of a beautiful, invisible structure across the dinner table.
“And the Pope allows this?” Marco asked.
“He doesn’t just allow it, he initiates it,” Edgar said. “He’ll present a tightly wound doctrine, and then just… wait. He wants it to be engaged with, to be met by a different perspective. It’s how he feels… understood. It’s a meeting of minds that is, in its own way, as intimate as a meeting of souls.”
The three men fell silent for a moment, the only sound the distant hum of the Vatican at night.
“So,” Marco whispered, trying to piece it all together. “You’re telling me that in there, right now, the Supreme Pontiff and a Cardinal are… are…”
“Engaged in a deeply personal, spiritually exhilarating encounter of minds that transcends normal human interaction and flirts with the sublime?” Daniel offered.
“Yes,” Edgar confirmed with a knowing smile on his lips. “Exactly that. Now, stop looking so terrified. This is how great documents are born. And why we,” he added, topping up his grappa, “stock the good Nappa. We are not mere secretaries, Marco. We are the guardians of the space where such rare encounters can occur.”
Marco just nodded slowly, deciding then and there that the Vatican was a universe of nuances he was only beginning to perceive.
Chito’s hand still rested atop Leo’s, a point of contact that felt both grounding and electrifying.
“A rest,” Leo repeated, the word a sigh of profound relief. He looked at their joined hands, then around the room, as if seeing it for the first time. “For so long, I have thought of rest as a cessation of work. A necessary pause to regain strength for the next battle. But you… you speak of it as if it were a state of being in itself.”
“It is,” Chito said softly, his thumb tracing slow, absent-minded circles on the back of Leo’s hand. “It is the Gaudium et Spes of the soul. The joy and hope that comes not from a lack of struggle, but from being fully present within the struggle, and knowing you are not alone in it.” He paused, his gaze unwavering. “You carry the whole Church, Bob. Is it so wrong to let one friend help you carry your own soul for an evening?”
The question was so gentle, so disarming, that Leo felt another piece of his carefully constructed armor fall away. He had spent a lifetime building walls of doctrine and discipline to protect the vulnerable man within. Chito was not attacking the walls; he was simply asking the man inside if he might like to come out and sit in the sun for a while.
“It feels… unfamiliar,” Leo admitted, the confession a risk greater than any theological gamble. “This… allowing.”
“Then let us make it familiar,” Chito murmured. He gave Leo’s hand a final, gentle squeeze before releasing it and leaning back in his chair, a picture of easy grace. He gestured to the forgotten lamb. “We should eat. Even a Pope must tend to the needs of the body. It, too, is a temple.”
Leo laughed, a real, unforced sound that felt foreign and wonderful in his own ears. “You are a relentless pragmatist, Chito Tagle.”
“I am a pastor,” Chito corrected gently, his eyes smiling. “And a pastor knows that a hungry man cannot hear the homily.” He served a portion of the lamb onto Leo’s plate, then onto his own. The simple, domestic act felt more intimate than any of their lofty metaphors.
They ate for a few moments in a comfortable silence, the only sound the soft clink of cutlery on china. The conversation had shifted from a dazzling duel of intellects to a quiet, shared communion.
“This document,” Chito said after a while, “Gravissimum Educationis… at its heart, it is about formation. Not just the filling of minds with facts, but the shaping of whole human beings. It is about helping them find their song.”
Leo nodded, listening intently.
“You cannot teach a bird its song,” Chito continued, his voice thoughtful. “You can only create the conditions—the safety, the silence, the space—where it feels secure enough to sing the one already written on its heart.” He looked directly at Leo, his meaning clear. “Perhaps that is the true work of the Church. And perhaps… it is also the work of friendship.”
Leo put down his fork, utterly disarmed. Chito had done it again—taken a grand ecclesial concept and turned it into a personal, breathtakingly beautiful truth.
“You see the universal in the particular, Chito,” Leo said, his voice thick with emotion. “You look at a document on education and see… us. You look at a tired Pope and see a man who has forgotten his own song.”
Chito’s expression was one of immense compassion. “I see a man who has been singing a very complex, very beautiful cantus firmus for the entire world,” he said. “I am only suggesting that perhaps, tonight, he could allow himself to hum a simpler melody. Just for a little while.”
And in that moment, surrounded by the quiet warmth of the room and the warm feeling of Chito’s friendship, Pope Leo XIV, the successor of Peter, allowed himself to do just that. He let the weight of the papacy settle, not disappear, but become a shared burden. He leaned into the rest, into the simple melody of a shared meal and a understanding gaze, and found it to be the most profound theology he had ever encountered.
They stood by the large window overlooking the sleeping Vatican Gardens, the stars a dusty glitter above the dark silhouettes of cypress trees. The world outside was silent, holding its breath.
“It is a different view from here,” Leo murmured, his hands in the pockets of his trousers, the linen shirt soft against his skin. “From the official apartments, you see the geometry of power—the square, the colonnade. From here… you see the garden. The mystery.”
Chito stood beside him, close enough that their shoulders almost touched. “The hortus conclusus,” he said softly. “The enclosed garden. A symbol of the soul, and of Mary. A place of fertile, protected intimacy with the divine.” He glanced at Leo. “It is a privilege to be invited into this one.”
The flirtation was there, woven into the symbolism, a sacred language only they could speak with such layered meaning.
Leo turned his head to look at him. The intellectual fire had banked to a deep, smoldering warmth. “The gardener must tend it alone most days. It is a rare grace to walk in it with a companion who understands the nature of the soil.”
They stood in a comfortable silence for a long moment, the unspoken thing hanging peacefully between them. Finally, Chito sighed, a sound of contented resignation.
“It is getting late, Bob,” he said, his voice laced with a gentle regret. “I should not keep the Holy Father from his rest.”
A slow, playful smile touched Leo’s lips. “And what if the Holy Father wishes to be kept?”
Chito laughed, a soft, breathy sound. “Then he would be a very poor example of the virtue of prudence he is always writing about.”
“Prudence is often the enemy of joy,” Leo countered, his eyes gleaming in the dim light. He let the statement hang, a dangerous, delightful admission. “But you are right, of course. The world does not stop for… for a walk in the garden.”
The goodbye was a slow, deliberate ritual. They moved from the window towards the door. Chito retrieved his suit jacket and put it on, the simple act feeling like the closing of a sacred volume.
“Thank you, Bob,” Chito said, his voice sincere. “For the conversation. For the trust.”
“Thank you, Chito,” Leo replied, his own voice low and full of unspoken feeling. “For the… stimulation.”
They shook hands, a formal beginning that quickly dissolved. Leo pulled Chito into a firm, lingering embrace. It was the embrace of colleagues, of brothers, but also of two men who had shared something profound. Then, as they drew apart, Leo initiated the beso, the customary cheek kiss.
But he did not aim for the cheek.
He moved his head so that his lips brushed, feather-light, against the space just beside the corner of Chito’s mouth, a breath away from his lips. It was a kiss of air and intention, so fleeting and yet so charged that it sent a visible shiver through the Cardinal. It was a pontifical blessing and a profoundly human caress, all in one.
Chito’s eyes were wide, his breath caught. A slow, deep blush spread across his face. “Santo Padre…” he whispered, the title a prayer and a protest.
“Walk with me,” Leo said, his own heart hammering. He did not wait for a response, but simply opened the door and led the way out into the corridor.
The two Swiss Guards stationed outside the papal apartments snapped to attention, their faces models of stoic discipline. But their eyes, for a fraction of a second, betrayed a flicker of utter shock. There was the Holy Father, not in his white cassock, but in a simple shirt and trousers, his hair slightly mussed, personally escorting a visibly flustered Cardinal Tagle down the hall. It was an image of domestic intimacy so starkly out of place in the marble formality of the Apostolic Palace that it was almost scandalous.
Leo paid them no mind. He was a lion in his den, seeing his most treasured guest to the gate. He walked Chito all the way to the private elevator, a final, public declaration of esteem—and something more.
As the elevator doors slid open, Leo simply said, “Until our next… study session, Cardinal.”
Cardinal Tagle, having recovered some of his composure, bowed his head, a smile playing on his lips. “I will prepare my notes, Santo Padre.”
He stepped into the elevator. As the doors closed, their eyes met one last time—a silent exchange of shared secrets and promised continuations.
Leo stood there for a long moment after the elevator had departed, the ghost of a kiss near his lips and the warmth of a shared garden in his soul, before turning and, under the stunned gaze of his guards, walking back to his rooms, looking more like a man and less like a monument than he had in months.
Bob stood for a long moment before the heavy, polished door of his private dining room, the ghost of Chito’s presence still warming the air around him. He could still feel the imprint of that near-kiss, a sacred tremor on his skin. The silence of the corridor was profound, a stark contrast to the vibrant world of words and warmth he had just inhabited.
The silence was broken by the soft, hurried scuff of leather soles on marble. Edgar, Daniel, and Marco rounded the corner, their faces a mixture of professional concern and poorly concealed curiosity. They stopped short at the sight of the Pope, still in his simple, at-home clothes, looking more serene and unburdened than they had seen him.
Marco, ever the eager and now thoroughly initiated novice, was the first to break the silence. He clutched a notepad to his chest like a shield.
“Your Holiness!” he began, his voice a little too loud in the hush. “We… we came to see if you required anything. Did you and His Eminence… that is to say, should we take notes on any of the… the points of discussion? For the document?”
Edgar closed his eyes for a brief, pained second. Daniel bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.
Pope Leo turned slowly. His sharp, intellectual features were softened by the dim light and the lingering emotion of the evening. He looked at Marco, at the earnest, bewildered young man desperate to codify the unmodifiable into a memo.
A slow, deep smirk spread across Leo’s face, a rare expression that transformed his entire countenance. It was followed by a soft, genuine laugh that seemed to surprise even him, a rich, little sound that echoed softly in the hall.
He looked from Marco to Edgar, his gaze knowing and faintly amused, as if sharing a private joke with the veteran secretary.
“Notes?” the Pope repeated, the word laced with a warmth that had nothing to do with theology. He shook his head slightly, his eyes drifting back towards the closed elevator doors for a fleeting second. “No, Fr. Marco. Not tonight.”
He turned back to his staff, his expression settling into one of profound peace. “It is late. You have all served well. Go and rest.”
He paused, his smirk returning, just a ghost at the corners of his mouth. “I will… I will give you the notes tomorrow.”
With that, he gave a final, dismissive nod that was also a blessing, and turned, slipping back into the solitude of his apartments, leaving the three secretaries in the corridor.
Marco stood frozen, the notepad hanging uselessly at his side. He looked at Edgar, his eyes begging for interpretation.
Edgar simply placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder and began steering him down the hall. “Come along, Fr, Marco,” he said, his voice dry as dust. “When the Holy Father says he’ll give you the notes tomorrow, it means the document is going to be brilliant, and we will all be working very, very hard. And it also means that some things,” he added, with a wisdom born of decades, “are not meant for notepads, but for the heart. Now, let’s go to rest.”
He sits in the silence of his study long after the door has closed. On his desk lies the draft of Gravissimum Educationis. He picks up his pen.
Before, the text was a structure of logic, a fortress of doctrine to be defended. Now, he sees the spaces between the lines. He sees the hortus conclusus, the enclosed garden of the soul that must be tended with care, not just pruned with law. He writes of education not as the imposition of form, but as the creation of conditions for a song to emerge.
His mind is not on the document, but on the man. The gentle pressure of Chito’s hand. The shared silence that was more eloquent than any encyclical. The daring, dangerous brush of his lips so close to that smiling mouth.
He had spent a lifetime building a city of God in his mind, all perfect, ordered streets. Chito Tagle had not torn down a single wall. He had simply opened a gate to a wild, beautiful, and untended garden within it, and invited him to walk there.
The document he will publish will be stronger for it. More human. More true. He picks up the phone, a sudden, impulsive decision. "Edgar? A note for tomorrow's schedule. Please send a message to Cardinal Tagle's secretary. Inform His Eminence that I found his insights on the 'holy disorder' of the Spirit... profoundly illuminating. And that I look forward to continuing our... collaborative study."
He hangs up, private smile on his face.
The work continues. But the worker is renewed.
The car glides through the sleeping streets of Rome, but Chito Tagle feels wide awake, every nerve humming. He leans his head against the cool window, a smile he cannot suppress playing on his lips.
He touches the spot on his face, just beside his mouth, where the Pope’s lips had brushed. It still tingles. It was not a kiss. It was a theological proposition. A question posed in the silent language of intimacy: What if?
The entire evening replays in his mind not as a debate, but as a sacrament. The bread, the wine, the word made flesh in a look, a touch, a confession of loneliness from the most powerful cleric in the world. He had gone to the Vatican to discuss a document on education. He had ended up hearing the Pope’s personal Confessions.
He thinks of Bob—not Leo, not the Pope, but Bob—standing in his simple clothes, shocking the guards, a lion seeing off his mate. The image is seared into his mind, more powerful than any public appearance. It was a glimpse of the man he knew was there, the man he had just, perhaps, helped to set free for a few precious hours.
His phone buzzes. It is a message from his secretary, relaying the Pope's comment about finding his insights "profoundly illuminating."
Chito laughs aloud, a joyful sound in the car. He types a quick, simple reply to be sent first thing in the morning.
"Please inform His Holiness that the feeling is entirely mutual. And that this particular scholar is always at his service for further... illumination. I will pray for his rest."
He puts the phone away, looking out at the city. The work of the Church is vast, its burdens heavy. But for the first time in a long time, Cardinal Tagle feels not the weight, but the incredible, beautiful, and slightly scandalous lightness of grace.
The door to their shared, comfortable sitting room clicked shut, and Marco finally let out the breath he felt he’d been holding since dinner service began.
“I need a chart,” he announced to the room, slumping into an armchair. “A flowchart. Or a liturgical calendar marking the stages of… of that.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of the papal apartments.
Daniel was already at the small sideboard, pouring three fingers of whiskey into a glass, they needed a drink, again.. for some reason. “Stages? Fr.Marco, you can’t chart a mystery. What you witnessed tonight was not a process. It was a theophany.”
“It was two old men flirting using the documents of Vatican II as a dating service,” Edgar corrected drily, accepting a glass from Daniel. He took a slow sip. “And we are its humble, underpaid acolytes.”
“But the notes!” Marco persisted, his voice rising in pitch. “He said he’d give us the notes tomorrow! What notes? The notes on educational reform, or the notes on the… the..?!”
Daniel choked on his whiskey, coughing and laughing at the same time. “The Acta Apostolicae Sedis does not have a section for that, I’m afraid.”
“Let me save you the anxiety, Fr. Marco,” Edgar said, settling into his own worn armchair with the sigh of a man who has shepherded a miracle to its conclusion. “Tomorrow, His Holiness will hand us a revised draft of Gravissimum Educationis. It will be brilliant. It will be infused with a pastoral warmth that was absent in the first three drafts. It will quote Augustine and Ignatius of Loyola in the same paragraph, and it will somehow work. And we will type it up, send it to the printers, and never speak of the specific… dialectical methodology… that produced it.”
“But the guards saw him!” Marco whispered, as if the Swiss Guard were gossiping tabloid journalists. “In his shirt!”
“The guards have seen Popes through plague, war, and schism,” Daniel said, waving a dismissive hand. “They can handle the sight of a Pope in casualwear. Their vow is to protect his life, not his dress code.”
A comfortable silence fell, broken only by the clink of ice in glasses. Marco finally took a large gulp of his own whiskey, the warmth steadying him.
“So… this is normal?” he asked, his voice finally calm.
Edgar and Daniel looked at each other.
“No,” they said in unison.
“This is not normal,” Edgar clarified.
“This is… sui generis,” Daniel added with a grin.
“It is a unique and singular event that will probably happen again next week when they ‘study’ the document on the liturgy,” Edgar finished. “So, no, it is not normal. But for them?” He shrugged, a gesture of ultimate surrender. “This is just… Tuesday.”
Marco nodded slowly, the last of his resistance crumbling. He looked from Edgar’s resigned wisdom to Daniel’s amused acceptance.
“Right,” he said, finishing his drink. “Get used to it.”
“Now he gets it,” Daniel said, raising his glass in a toast.
Edgar simply smiled, a rare, genuine expression of camaraderie. “Welcome to the Vatican, Fr. Marco. Where the Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways, and we’re just the ones who have to make sure there’s enough Barolo in the cellar.”
Chapter Text
The secretaries' office was in a post-lunch lull. Marco sorted correspondence while Daniel proofread a translation of a speech. Edgar stared at his computer screen, looking profoundly tired.
Daniel glanced over. "You have that look, Padre Edgar. The 'someone used the wrong typeface on an encyclical' look."
"It's worse," Edgar murmured, still focused on the screen. "It's the Tagvost fans."
Marco looked up sharply. "The what?"
Daniel rolled his chair over to Edgar's desk, eager for gossip. "Ah, the digital hive mind. What are they saying today?"
"Who are they?" Marco asked, confused.
Edgar sighed and turned his monitor to show a Twitter feed from an account without a profile picture. "This," he said, pointing, "is my burner account. For... situational awareness."
The feed was filled with tweets in a dizzying mix of languages. Marco's jaw dropped. "They... they have analysts? They call them Tagvost?"
Daniel explained, as if this were normal. "A ship name. The Filipino shippers are particularly passionate."
"Shippers?" Marco squeaked.
"People who support a romantic relationship between two people," Edgar said flatly, sounding like he was reading death notices. "In this case, the Supreme Pontiff and the Prefect of the Evangelization." He scrolled down. "And it gets worse."
He clicked on a link to a site called Archive of Our Own.
"What's this?" Marco asked, leaning in.
"A repository of transformative fan works," Daniel said, barely hiding his excitement. "Mostly fiction."
Edgar clicked on a story titled “The Doctrine of Flirtation” and quickly scanned the summary. "Good Lord. This one has you in it, Marco. You're the 'wide-eyed, innocent secretary who is the only one who sees their true love.'"
Marco let out a sound like a deflating balloon. "I don't want to be in it!"
"Too late," Daniel said, patting him on the back. "You're a fan favorite. They call you 'the beacon of chaos.'"
Edgar scrolled further, his face showing horror. "This one is... it’s a very detailed extrapolation of what might have happened."
"Close the tab! Close the tab!" Marco whispered, covering his eyes.
Edgar calmly shut the browser. "This is the reality of the modern Church, Marco. Every papal gesture, every shared glance, is analyzed and turned into a narrative by a global audience with too much time and a surprising understanding of Christological controversies."
"So what do we do?" Marco asked, looking pale.
"We do nothing," Edgar stated, returning to his official work. "We ignore it. We never, ever acknowledge it. His Holiness must never know this exists."
"Absolutely," Daniel agreed. "The last thing we need is for him to stumble upon a story where he and Cardinal Tagle debate the hypostatic union as a metaphor for their relationship."
"But... what if he already knows?" Marco whispered, a terrifying thought occurring to him.
The three secretaries fell into silence.
From the hallway, they heard Cardinal Tagle's clear laughter, followed by the Pope's deeper chuckle as they approached.
Daniel broke the silence, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Well," he murmured, "if he does know, he certainly doesn't seem to mind."
Edgar buried his head in his hands. Marco looked like he would be sick. The digital world of #Tagvost was one thing; hearing the very real evidence of it was something else entirely.
Daniel wheeled closer, excitement bright in his eyes. "Oh, you've only seen the surface, Padre Marco. You have to understand the key events in the Tagvost Cinematic Universe."
Edgar pinched the bridge of his nose. "Padre Daniel, must we?"
"It's for his education!" Daniel insisted, pointing to Edgar's burner account. "Show him the Ring."
With a sigh, Edgar pulled up a blurred, zoomed-in video from the installation mass.
"The Ring Moment. Basically what started it all. It’s actually about the candy during the conclave, but we’ll discuss that later." Daniel narrated dramatically. "The hashtag about the ring moment was #Luvostnapagmamahal."
Marco squinted. "What does that mean?"
"It's a Tagalog portmanteau. 'Luvost' from Luis and 'vost' from Prevost, and 'pagmamahal' means love. So, 'Much Love.' The analysts," Daniel said, gesturing to the screen, "wrote dissertations on the symbolism. The Pope, the ultimate authority, allowing himself to be assisted with his most sacred symbol of office by the man from the Global South. It was a gesture of vulnerability and trust."
"It was a man helping another man with a piece of jewelry, the jewelry is well.. the Fisherman's Ring." Edgar countered, his voice flat.
"Your lack of poetry is a tragedy, Padre Edgar," Daniel sighed. "Now, the Button Saga." He gestured for Edgar to continue.
Edgar pulled up a photo from a lighter event—a "baby bishop" school for new appointees. Pope Leo was shaking Cardinal Tagle’s hand, and Tagle whispered something to Pope Leo before reaching for his button, deftly fastening the second button of the Pope's cassock, which had come undone.
"The second button," Daniel said quietly, as if revealing a secret. "His holiness went all red and the fact that Cardinal Tagle was the one to fasten it? The Tagvost fans lost their minds."
Marco was now completely absorbed; his earlier horror turned into fascination. "And the third one? The 'venerated most beloved brother'?"
"Ah, the verbal canonization!" Daniel exclaimed, clapping his hands softly. "That was from a letter of appointment. Standard protocol is 'Venerable Brother.' His Holiness, in his own handwriting, added 'most beloved.' It read, 'Venerated Most Beloved Brother... Special attention of esteem and affection.'"
Edgar finally turned away from the screen. "And I spent two hours on the phone with the Prefect of the Pontifical Household explaining that no, it was not a new official title, and yes, it was doctrinally sound, and no, we would not be issuing a correction."
The laughter from the hallway grew louder before fading toward the Pope's study.
As silence settled in the office, curiosity gripped the secretaries. Daniel broke it, whispering mischievously. "He mentioned the Archive. The specific tag. This is cultural study."
"We are not cultural anthropologists, Daniel. We are secretaries," Edgar stated, staying in his chair. "Our duty is to ignore this digital mess."
"But the specific tag," Daniel pressed. "It's a clear link to the... mythos. We need to understand the narrative!"
Marco, despite himself, found his cursor hovering over the browser. "Just... just a quick look? To understand the themes?"
Edgar groaned deeply. He didn’t consent, but he didn’t protest further either.
Daniel pulled his chair closer as Marco, with shaking fingers, typed in the URL. The screen loaded, revealing the Archive of Our Own page. The trio leaned in, scanning the works.
"The Rock and The Beloved," Marco read aloud, his voice reverent. "Inspired by comments about how Prevost was destined to be pope, the new Peter, the Rock upon which the Church stands, while Tagle was meant to be the Beloved, the most faithful apostle."
A heavy silence fell. This wasn’t just fluff; this was serious fan theory.
"Good heavens," Edgar murmured, his disdain replaced by shock. "They're assigning apostolic typology. That’s... a sophisticated heretical framework."
Daniel whistled. "Peter and John. The Rock and the Beloved. That’s poignant and disturbingly accurate for their public roles."
"Click it," Marco urged, now fully invested.
He did. The story was a series of vignettes. The prose was lyrical, focusing on the weight of office and the comfort of a shared glance.
"They write his internal monologue very... Augustinian," Daniel noted. "All struggle and doubt. And Cardinal Tagle’s is all... gentle, piercing insight."
"1973," Marco read next, his voice dropping. "Two math majors trying to solve this hard problem: is loving each other a sin?"
This one hit differently. It wasn’t about Popes and Cardinals; it was about two young men, Bob and Chito, in a dorm room, facing something far more personal than any theological dispute.
"Oh," Daniel said, his humor gone. "That’s... sounds heartbreaking."
Edgar said nothing, but he didn’t look away. The image of a young Robert Prevost, wrestling with his heart and faith, felt more intimate and invasive than any fantasy about the Pope.
The last story they looked at was "Caramel, Your Eminence?" The youngest cardinal-bishop found himself unsteady as his votes kept rising in favor. The youngest cardinal-bishops offered him a treat.
"A treat?" Marco asked.
"Ahh, the candy..." Daniel said softly. "The sweetness offered during immense, terrifying pressure. It's about the Conclave."
Suddenly, the office door swung open.
All three men jumped. Marco fumbled with the mouse, trying to close the tab but accidentally highlighting a line from "The Rock and The Beloved":
This time, the silence wasn’t light. Luis knew he should respond, but discussing his position relative to Robert’s responsibilities as pope felt too much to bear.
Standing in the doorway was a junior clerk from the Gendarmerie. "Padres? A question about the security roster for the garden walks..."
His gaze drifted to the screen, taking in the deeply theological and strangely intimate sentence.
Edgar was the first to recover. He reached over and calmly pressed the power button on Marco's computer monitor, turning the screen black.
"The internet," Edgar told the bewildered clerk, his voice steady, "contains many unconventional spiritual reflections. We were doing a comparative analysis of modern ecclesial literature. You may send the roster to my inbox. That will be all."
The clerk, utterly confused, nodded mutely and left the room.
The three secretaries stood in profound silence. They had set out to find gossip but had instead discovered poetry, tragedy, and a surprising public yearning for an intimate story between the Rock and the Beloved. In its own way, it was far more unsettling.
Daniel finally broke the silence. "Peter and John," he repeated, shaking his head in awe. "I'll never be able to see them the same way again."
"None of us will, Daniel," Edgar replied, his voice heavy. "None of us will."
A new, terrifying thought struck Marco. "They... they can’t possibly know about all this... the hashtags, the buttons... can they?"
Daniel's grin turned wicked. "His Holiness? Unlikely. He thinks 'DM' stands for 'Dominus Misereatur.' But Cardinal Tagle?" He leaned in conspiratorially. "The man is famously pastoral and connected to the people. He has a team that monitors social media. There's no way he is unaware of the fans."
The implication hung in the air, more shocking than any fanfiction. One half of the so-called "ship" might actually know he was being shipped.
Edgar stood up and closed his laptop. "That’s enough digital archaeology for one day. I know there are more moments and talks about it, but we have a Church to run. And Padre Marco," he added, fixing the young secretary with a stern look, "if you value your sanity and your job, you will never, ever search for… Not Sage For Work."
But it was too late. Marco's eyes had already glazed over. His mind raced, lost in a world of papal rings, sacred buttons, and a beloved brother. The Vatican was stranger than he could have ever imagined.
After talking in the study, The garden ultimately became their refuge. There, among the ancient, silent stones and the blooming roses, they could let go of their heavy titles after a long service.
“They're writing about us, you know,” Chito said, his voice light but his gaze keen. They were on their bench, tucked away by the bower. The late afternoon sun lit up the edges of Chito’s face.
Leo, who had been staring at a stubborn weed pushing through the gravel, didn’t look up. “The journalists always write about us, Chito. It’s their job, just like criticism is mine.”
“Not the journalists,” Chito clarified gently. “The people. Online. They have stories. They call you the Rock. Peter. And me…” He paused, a faint blush on his cheeks. “…the Beloved. John.”
Now Leo looked up, meeting Chito’s sharp, Augustinian eyes. He expected to find teasing, but instead saw a vulnerable, surprising honesty. The air between them shifted, feeling heavier and more sacred.
“John,” Leo repeated, letting the name linger. He studied the man beside him—the gentle strength, the unwavering faith that felt less like a fortress and more like a welcoming home. “The one who leaned on Christ’s breast at the Last Supper. The one He entrusted His mother to.” He let the weight of that comparison settle around them. “It’s a powerful comparison.”
“So is being Peter,” Chito responded. “The Rock on which everything is built. The one who must be strong for everyone.” He leaned in, his gaze intense. “But even Peter needed John. Even the Rock needs the Beloved to sit beside him, to hear the cracks forming.”
Leo felt the truth like a physical blow, a sweet, painful ache in his chest. This was no longer just flirtation hidden in theological terms. This was the essence of what they had been circling for years, named openly with the help of unknown writers online.
The space between them on the bench, once a respectful distance, now felt like a gap begging to be crossed. The sounds of the city beyond the walls faded into a distant hum.
“During the Conclave,” Chito said, his voice just above a whisper, “when your votes kept rising… you looked like a man facing condemnation. I offered you a caramel. Do you remember?”
A slow, genuine smile broke through Leo’s seriousness. “I remember. It was the only sweet thing in a room filled with fear and ambition.” He paused, the memory vivid. “You were the only one who saw the man, not just a potential Pope.”
“I have always seen the man,” Chito said. It was the simplest and most profound confession.
Then Leo moved. It wasn’t a grand gesture, but a small, clear one. He reached out and placed his hand over Chito’s, resting on the sun-warmed stone of the bench. Their fingers intertwined—one bearing the weight of a ring of ultimate authority, the other known for a gentle, pastoral touch.
“They aren’t entirely wrong, those writers,” Leo murmured, stroking Chito’s knuckles. “The Rock is worn out. And he finds rest not in solitude, but in the company of the Beloved.”
Chito turned his hand up, fully grasping Leo’s. The touch was electric, a surge of understanding and repressed affection finally connecting.
“Then let the Beloved,” Chito replied, his voice thick with emotion, “offer his company. Not just in the garden, but in the study, in the Consistory, in the lonely hours of the night. Let him be the one you don’t have to be the Rock for.”
In the dappled light of the Roman afternoon, surrounded by the scent of roses and earth, Pope Leo XIV, the Rock, leaned slightly towards Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle, the Beloved. It wasn’t a kiss or an embrace, but a silent, profound surrender. A rest. The final piece in a decades-old puzzle, finally completed.
They sat there, hand in hand, as the sun began to set. The walls of the Vatican rose around them, not as a prison, but as the walls of a garden, enclosed and sacred, sheltering a love that was finally allowed to simply exist.
The gentle pressure of their intertwined hands seemed to hold them steady against the weight of the confession they had just shared. The silence felt comfortable, but a new, shared curiosity buzzed within it.
A slow smile finally spread across Chito’s face. “So,” he said, shifting from a serious tone to a more curious one, “how did the Rock, who I’m pretty sure thinks ‘Wi-Fi’ is some sort of heresy, find out he was the subject of online fan theories?”
Leo let out a soft, rusty chuckle but didn’t let go of Chito’s hand. “You’d be surprised what a man picks up while he is supposed to be praying in his private chapel.” He leaned in closer, dropping his voice to a whisper.
Chito’s eyes widened in shock. “You have a burner account?”
“A lurking account,” Leo corrected, with a hint of authority. “It means I watch without taking part. I find it instructive. It gives a clear view of the sensus fidelium in its most unfiltered form. I came across the term ‘Tagvost.’ I looked into it.” His eyes sparkled with mischief and awe. “I read the one about the conclave scenes one and the meetings before it. It was surprisingly accurate in its emotional insight, even if the historical details were off.”
Chito was speechless for a moment before bursting into laughter, a genuine sound that filled their quiet corner. “Diyos ko! You! Reading about yourself! What’s your username?”
“Anonymity is the point, Chito,” Leo said, clearly enjoying the moment. “And you? How did you find out about our global fan club?”
His laughter faded into a warm, breathless smile. “One of the relatives sent me a text that said, ‘Tito Chito, you and the Pope have great chemistry on television. The internet says so. Even included a flattering photo.” His expression softened. “Didn’t mention the stories, just the feeling people got. But after your confession about lurking, I’m starting to wonder if that relative is in that space too.”
“The feeling,” Leo repeated, savoring the word. “That’s a very Tagle way of expressing it. My research was more analytical. I have seen charts about my lingering glances. Apparently, they peak during debates on ecclesiology.”
Chito started laughing again, softer this time. “So the world sees what we have carefully avoided naming. And the Pope himself is watching, taking notes.”
“It seems that way,” Leo agreed. His expression grew serious again, but warmth lingered. “They see the Rock. They see the Beloved. They see the friendship. But they don't really know what is happening.. and those are ours, Chito. Not for their stories. the lurking account will never tweet about those.”
“No,” Chito whispered, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. “Those are ours.”
He looked down at their joined hands, a sight that could have broken the internet, then back up at Leo. “So, Bob,” he said, playfully challenging him. “Now that I know you are secretly watching your own fandom, what’s the verdict? Are we living up to the narrative?”
Pope Leo XIV, the Supreme Pontiff, the Vicar of Christ, and the secret lurker, looked at the man he loved, his eyes clear and his decision made.
“The narrative is lacking,” he said softly, stroking Chito’s hand. “It has the shape, but not the substance. It can’t capture this.” He lifted their joined hands slightly. “No story could. So, we’ll let them have their fun. And we,” he said, standing and gently pulling Chito to his feet, “we will have our own reality. I assure you, it’s infinitely better.”
As they walked out of the garden hand in hand, Leo added, almost as an afterthought, “We, my beloved, will always know the true canon.”
Chito just shook his head, laughing softly, as they stepped out of the shadows and into the light of their own very real, and now mutually acknowledged, story.
Back in the secretaries' office, the mood was one of tense speculation. The Pope had been in the garden for nearly an hour. Cardinal Tagle had been seen heading in the same direction twenty minutes later.
Marco was pacing. "What if they're arguing? What if the fanfiction was wrong and it's all a big theological rift? What if the 'Beloved' is actually challenging the 'Rock' on the finer points of neo-Augustinian thought?"
Daniel, who was calmly playing a game of solitaire on his computer, didn't look up. "Padre Marco if they were arguing, we'd hear it. Or at least, Edgar would get a terse message on the secure line demanding the complete works of Tertullian. Silence from the garden is a good thing. It means they're... synchronizing."
Edgar was staring out the window that offered a distant, partial view of the garden path. He couldn't see the secluded bench, but he could see the entrance. His phone buzzed. He looked down.
Edgar quickly locked his phone, a faint flush on his cheeks.
"Anything?" Daniel asked, noticing the movement.
"Nothing," Edgar said, his voice a masterclass in neutrality. "The garden is... quiet."
Just then, two figures emerged from the path in the distance. Pope Leo and Cardinal Tagle were walking side-by-side back towards the Apostolic Palace. They were too far away to make out any details, but their posture was easy, their steps unhurried.
Marco rushed to the window, pressing his face against the glass. "They're coming back! They don't look like they're arguing! Do they look like they were arguing?"
Daniel came to stand beside him, squinting. "Hard to say. They're not throwing manuscripts at each other, which is a positive sign. But look at their gait."
"Their what?"
"Their walk, Padre Marco, their walk!" Daniel said, pointing. "See how they're moving? It's a synchronized, relaxed pace. That's what we in the business call 'Post-Doctrinal Harmony.' It's a very good sign for the document."
"But we can't see their hands!" Marco fretted. "What if they're clenched? What if they're not speaking?"
Edgar remained at his desk, not bothering to look. He had already seen all he needed to see on his burner account. He opened a new file on his computer, ready to receive the undoubtedly brilliant, pastorally warm, and theologically unified draft.
"Gentlemen," Edgar said, without looking up. "The collaborative study session appears to have concluded successfully. The 'notes' will be forthcoming. Now, if you don't mind, we have a Church to run. And Marco," he added, finally meeting the young man's frantic gaze, "for the love of all that is holy, stop analyzing their gait. Some mysteries are not meant to be solved by secretaries. They are only meant to be filed."
As the sound of the Pope's and the Cardinal's approaching laughter finally drifted down the hall, Marco finally stepped away from the window, a slow, dawning realization on his face. He looked at Edgar's serene acceptance and Daniel's knowing grin.
"Right," Marco said, a newfound wisdom in his voice. "Just... file it."
Marco’s soul felt like it had been through a theological washing machine set to "agitate." The phrase "vulgar display" and "vanilla and lavender" played on a loop in his mind, each repetition feeling like a minor violation of the First Commandment. Daniel’s suggestion of an exorcism was starting to feel less like a joke and more like a legitimate medical necessity.
“I’m going,” Marco announced, standing up on slightly wobbly legs. “I can’t work like this. I need… absolution.”
“A wise choice,” Edgar said, not looking up from the ecumenical notes, which now seemed like a haven of pure, unsullied doctrine. “Try the confessional in the grotto. It’s usually quiet this time of day.”
Nodding mutely, Marco fled the office. He hurried through the marble corridors, his footsteps echoing his frantic heartbeat. He needed to confess his own sin—the sin of having read that… that text, and the subsequent, horrifyingly vivid images his brain had conjured. He took a shortcut through, less-traveled hallway that passed by the private entrance to the Papal Apartments, hoping to avoid running into anyone.
It was there, as he rounded a corner, that he stopped dead.
There, just outside the heavy, polished door, stood Pope Leo and Cardinal Tagle. They were not in a formal farewell. They were close, so close that the white of the papal cassock and the black of the cardinal’s suit seemed to blend into one silhouette in the dim hall light.
Cardinal Tagle was smiling, saying something too soft for Marco to hear. Pope Leo’s hand was resting gently on the Cardinal’s arm. Then, in a movement that was both tender and decisive, the Pope leaned in.
An intimate meeting of lips, a brief and profound seal on a conversation Marco knew he was never meant to witness. It lasted only a second, maybe two, but in that span, Marco’s entire understanding of the universe recalibrated. The "Rock and the Beloved" was not just a story. The "vulgar display" was… a possibility. A terrifying, beautiful, and utterly real possibility.
As they parted, Cardinal Tagle’s hand came up to briefly touch the Pope’s cheek before he turned to leave. He didn’t see Marco, frozen in the shadows.
Marco didn’t move, didn’t breathe. He watched as Pope Leo stood for a moment, a look of serene, unguarded peace on his face—a look Marco had never seen before—before he slipped back inside his apartments.
The hallway was empty again.
Marco’s legs finally unlocked. He didn’t run. He walked, with a strange, newfound calm, straight past the grotto and towards the main basilica. His original confession was now obsolete. He had a new one to make.
He slipped into a confessional, the dark, familiar space feeling more alien than ever.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he began, his voice shaky. “It… it has been one day since my last confession.”
“Go on, my son,” came the patient voice from the other side of the screen.
“I… I have borne false witness in my heart,” Marco stammered. “I have been a… a vehicle for scandalous thoughts. And I have… I have seen something I was not meant to see. Something… hallowed.”
He took a deep breath, the image of the kiss burned into his mind. He knew, with a certainty that settled deep in his bones, that he would never speak of it to another living soul. It was not his story to tell. It was a mystery, in the truest sense of the word.
“And for these sins, and for all the sins of my past life, I am heartily sorry.”
He received his penance and absolution, the words a balm on his shocked spirit. As he left the confessional and stepped back into the vastness of St. Peter’s, the world looked the same, but he was different. He had peered behind the curtain of history and doctrine and seen something simple and human.
And he finally understood what Padre Edgar meant.
Some things weren’t for filing. They were only for keeping, in one’s own heart, and in the silent, merciful gaze of God.
Fin.

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