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Dirk: My Human Dinosaur [Discontinued]

Summary:

Yeah this is something new im trying out. It might be fun.
In this AU Dirk is a neanderthal of sorts. He wears a dinosaur for clothing. Velociraptor mongoliensis to be exact. (like this http://sta.sh/0256ct339cux ) John finds him, or rather Dirk finds John while the boy was on his way back home from Dave's place. John is then followed home after feeding the crazy spaz dino boy. At first John was completely against the idea of keeping another human as a pet like figure. But after Dirk's show of capable intelligence and human speech, John decided to give it a shot. No one really knows where he came from or how he came to be, either way he’s totally Wild.

Notes:

The timeline is really extremely non cannon and all the kids are teenagers around the age of 16-18. depends.

Chapter Text

Dave and John were in the middle of a heated game of Halo 4. Of course John was winning. Finally time ran out and the screen showed John's screen name and the words Winner. “Yes, in your face dude! That was five times in a row!" John cheered pointing his fingers in Dave's face. Dave sighed heavily and dropped his controller on the floor defeated. He then looked at the time and smiled. " Welp, I guess you did win. Oh hey, look at the time, you were supposed to leave an hour ago." Dave pointed out smiling at the clock. John jumped up from the couch, " Oh gosh! I almost forgot, I gotta get ready for school tomorrow." John cried grabbing his bag by the couch and rushing towards the door. “See ya later." Dave called as John went out the door.

The walk from Dave's place was always simple. John had the whole route memorized. He would go over a bridge, pass by a few big business buildings, some neighborhoods, and he'd be home. Today however John indirectly chose to go a different route. “I’ve never been this way before. Maybe, I'm lost?" John moaned looking at his unfamiliar surroundings. The street names were all weird, plexpotpourri, fannystreet. Just plain weird. John stopped to see if he could find his way back to reality. Suddenly there was a noise, as if a trash bin has been knocked over, followed by a low groaning noise. John looked around confused and now a bit scared as well. The noise sounded again only this time without the metal clatter, and then again, growing louder each time. Finally John had grown tired of the noise. He searched for an object to hit whatever it was producing the sound with. It wasn’t much, in fact it was a piece of crap. A sliver of a glass shard. If used in the right way could prove highly dangerous.

The noise was now ever closer then before, John held the glass in his palm, at the ready. John turned around slowly to face a pair of beaming red eyes. They were low to the ground, like an animal, definitely not anything human. Now the growling noise was right upon him. John strained his eyes a bit to see what his attacker was in the dimly lit streets as the sun was going down. Whatever the creature was it was big, maybe the size of a person. It seemed to be an avian-like reptile thing John couldn't really see, and at this point did he really have time to be specific? The strange creature roared viciously its long tail dragging the ground limply. “ Nice big, whatever you are. I don’t want to have to cut you.” John whispered trying to keep his voice steady.

John took one last look at his antagonist, it seemed to move almost like a human, its four legged movement was a bit off. Kind of even forced. The creature even looked human towards the mid section. If John wasn't in immediate danger he could almost make out a human shape. It looked frail and hungry, maybe that could work to John’s advantage. “Hey big guy or girl, I bet your hungry right? Here, um chicken.” John said pulling out some leftover lunch from his visit to Dave’s house. The creature stood at attention then, in fact it charged at the boy. The thing was fast if John hadn't thrown the piece of meat he might have lost a finger or two. The beast leapt up and caught the morsel in mid air, landing on its back feet and using its front legs to hold the scrap. The animal, or whatever it was began to tear into the meat effortlessly, the sickening crunch of the bone was all John could stand to watch. Using the food as his distraction, he slowly backed out of the corner he had been placed in far enough to break into a full run for home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John slammed the front door shut, locking it behind him. He even checked twice to make sure it was closed good and tight. “Whatever that thing was it’ll never get me in here.” John muttered to himself starting to calm down. Suddenly there was a loud THUMP at the door. John froze in shock for a moment, then turned to look through the peephole. At a first glance there was nothing there. When John tried a second look he got a big surprise. It was the creature again! It was passing back and forth in front of his doorstep. John quickly turned back around pressing his back up against the door, his breathing now rushed again. Had it followed him home? Did it want more chicken!? John was freaking out now thinking of possible solutions. At that moment something buzzed in his pocket. John almost jumped out of his skin in terror, until he realized it was just his PDA. It was Jade; she must be messaging him to see if he’d made it home yet. John didn't have time for her at the moment so he sent her an IOU message. “Hey Jade. Can’t talk right now, there’s some crazy mutant reptile bird on my front porch. Get back to you latter.” is what he had sent her.

John looked through the peephole one more time. This time however, there was once again nothing there. John sighed in relief; he wanted to make sure it was gone. He opened the door by a little crack. Bad move. As soon as he did the beast was on the door in a second, pushing against John’s weight, trying to get in. The creature was remarkably strong. Too strong. In a matter of moments it had pushed John out of the way and was in the house. The thing was running around like an animal with rabies. Or a crazy wild animal. At one point John had to climb on top of the table to avoid its crashing and stomping around. It was sniffing at everything; it put anything it found in its mouth. It had ravaged the kitchen in a moments notice and was making its way to the rest of the house. John waited a few moments before coming down off the table. “Great, now I have a rabid beast tearing my house apart.” John moaned. John looked around for something he could use for protection, he would need it if he was going to brave that thing. At last he found the perfect weapon. A rolling pin. It was wooden and had textured little indents perfect for smashing that things brains out. John smiled pleased with his swift weapon choice; he placed it up on his shoulder in attack ready position and slowly made his way upstairs.

Chapter 2

Summary:

In this AU Dirk is a neanderthal of sorts. John finds him, or rather Dirk finds John while the boy was on his way back home from Dave's place. John is then followed home after feeding the crazy spaz dino boy. Things are starting to go down.

Chapter Text

The hallway was covered in claw marks from top to bottom. Several things along the way had been smashed or knocked over. Hand and foot prints littered the floor as well as the wall. “Oh man Dad's going to kill me." John moaned holding his pin closer. As John reached the possible epicenter of the destruction a familiar sound was heard, like someone was bouncing on a bed. The room it was coming from was his own. John, not daring waltz straight into the room where the noise was stirring from, he peeked around the door to see what exactly was going on in there.

The rouge creature was tearing at the bed sheets, ripping up the pillows and all sorts of other furniture. The room was just as much of a mess as the hallway, everything was a complete disaster. Claw marks on every inch of the room from top to even the bottom. John looked back over to the beast that had invaded his bed; it had made a makeshift nest out of the ribbons, and tatters of the woolen sheets. It wasn't asleep, just laying there, its eyes intently fixed on John's every movement. John gulped, “Ok. You're going to have to leave....Now." John muttered making his way to the bed. Now, within the light of the house John could completely make out the shape of his aggressor. It or rather he was basically all but human. In fact the only thing that had made him seem like a monster before was the clothing he was sporting, which wasn't much. He was mostly naked with only a loincloth for any protection what-so-ever. He was wearing a dinosaur like head for a hat the eye holes allowed him to see, sporting its wings like arm wrappings.

John stared cross eyed at this new development. Carefully, he made close steps towards his destroyed bed. The neanderthal raised up a bit as he did. He started to growl the closer John got. He bared his teeth, John stopped a few inches from the covers. “Alright, you seem human enough, so you must know what I'm saying." John whispered being sure to keep his distance. The boy just stared at John a confused look in his eyes, he had even stopped snarling. There was a temporary moment of silence. “Hello, do you understand me. Great, let’s try this then, Get out." John said using finger motions to display walking. The dino boy made an incoherent clacking noise from his mouth, possibly with his tongue. John stared in disbelief of what he'd just heard. John was about to say something else when he heard the front door downstairs open. “Son, I'm home!" John's dad yelled.

At the sound of the yell, John's intruder growled and attempted to rise up out of the bed. " Gah, no no no you can't go downstairs. No better, you WONT go downstairs. If my dad sees you I'm a dead man." John cried grabbing the boy and trying to push him back. “John? What's with all the noise? Is something wrong?" Dad yelled from downstairs. John was yet again in a panic. He was spinning around the room, trying to figure out how and where to hide, his "guest". His guest in question had stopped his snarling only to stare at John, who was making a very interesting fuss, confused. “Ok, um how about you just stay there." John thought out loud. John grabbed up some leftover scraps of bed sheets and threw them over the creature. John then stuck his head out the door and yelled, “I’m fine Dad! Nothing to worry about up here; just keep doing whatever it is you were doing!" John yelled down. John waited for a response but there wasn't one. He sighed, “Dad must have changed his mind." John muttered closing the door. As he turned around the beast from earlier was right behind him. John screamed, or at least he would have if he hadn't remembered his dad downstairs.

The boy was standing directly in front of John, staring him in the face. He was basically John's height and the dinosaur head made the effect even more surprising. The boy was extremely close to John's face, sniffing him harshly. “Um, do you need something? If not could you back up a bit?" John whispered trying to back out of the corner he'd been backed into. Every step John took back the dino boy would come forward to follow him. John had been backed into a new corner now “Fine you can stay, but just until Dad leaves the kitchen. Then it’s out you go." John muttered pushing him away. He took one last peek out into the hall. He couldn't hear Dad downstairs, so maybe he could get rid of his intruder now. John looked back to see if his guest was still behind him as he ventured out into the hall. Of course, it was. Sniffing away at its previous trail of destruction.

As the two cautiously made their way downstairs John kept an eye out for his dad. For the most part the hallway was safe, but when John peeked around the corner before the kitchen he was faced with a problem. A BIG problem. John's dad was still in the kitchen, he was reading the paper. He must have brought it in with the mail. “Great Dad's still in there. Maybe I can sneak you-" John started to whisper as he turned around he noticed the dino boy had disappeared. Turning back around quickly John realized just where his "buddy" had gone. Standing inches behind his dad, sniffing, was the dino boy. "Oh, my glob." John mumbled starting another panic.

Chapter 3

Summary:

John decides to give the little monster a bath AND A NAME!? Somehow this Dino boy is a bit more attached to John then he is it.

Chapter Text

“Oh my GLOB!!" John shrieked in whispers. The dino boy was sniffing at mail next to Mr. Egbert on the counter. I would be only a matter of time before he turned around and saw the foul beast. “Well now, hello there little fella." Mr. Egbert said with a bit of a chuckle. He reached out his hand to touch the boy's head when John screamed " WAIT NO!" he called loudly, stopping his fathers movements. Even the neanderthal looked up in surprise. When John realized he had the attention of everything in the room he cleared his throat, “Um, what i meant to say was, uh." John stuttered trying to think of a quick excuse. Mr. Egbert let out a chuckle, " You don't have to explain son, i trust you. So who's our new little friend here." the older man laughed connecting his hand with the dino head. Amazingly enough he was able to keep his fingers, as the boy only made this animalistic purring noise. On the inside John sighed in relief, " His name is, Di-no, Dirk! Yeah Dirk!" John said making up a name. Mr. Egbert smiled, “Dirk huh. Charming. So you dressed him up in a funny outfit? Cosplay, I think that's what the kids call it these days." he muttered turning back to his paper.

John sighed in relief again, this time out loud. "Dirk? What a stupid name!" John growled to himself. What had dared him to think up a stupid name like that? What dared him to lie to his father like that? Why didn't he tell the truth? It would all be over now if he's just told the truth from the start. As Mr. Egbert sat down at the nearby table with his pipe and paper, John looked around viciously for "Dirk". The boy in question was sniffing about the kitchen. Actually climbing the counter-top even! Maybe John could snatch him up and scurry back off to his room before dad could get another look. In fact, that's exactly what John did. Quickly rushing over to Dirk, he snatched him up from under the arms like a stray cat. Although he was quiet difficult to lift, for Dirk was a bit bigger then John, he managed to lift the heavy boy over his shoulder. Avoiding claw and teeth all the while. Just inches from the upstairs steps, Mr. Egbert called to John again, " Oh and son, you might want to give your little buddy a bath. He's kind of strong. If you know what I mean." he said wrinkling his nose as if hinting something. John nodded slowly understanding well what his father meant. He also knew what it entailed. Did he really have the guts to do something that personal? Would "DIRK" even let John touch him like that? The whole thought made John shudder, he looked back to see why Dirk was coming along so nicely. Before he could even get a good long look back he heard a loud snoring behind him. It was loud and hot and in his ear. “Ok, Dirk, I'll get rid of you later, but for now... I guess I'll bathe... you." John muttered shivering at the thought.

John had managed to walk Dirk all the way upstairs and into the bathroom. “The tub was pretty big, it should be able to accommodate his size”. John thought starting to turn the faucets. The squeaking noise instantly awoke Dirk from his nap in the corner. His eye's shot open, that crystal red gleam, like gemstone, zeroed in on John. Dirk stared for a few moments until he noticed the rushing water and steam, his eyes widened with realization. Dirk began to growl inhumanly slowly rising to his four legs like an animal. John jumped when he felt Dirk's heavy breathing on his skin. “Um, hi... Dirk. Guess what? You’re going to get a bath." John his voice cracking at the end. He turned his head slowly one eye open for fear of what he might see. Moments after he did Dirk let out a ferocious, almost inhumane growl. His surprisingly sharp canines dug into John's shoulder. Wait, Canines! John screamed in pain, trying to stand, he fell backwards into the tub with a large splash. Dirk who was still connected to John by the shoulder fell in with him. The instant Dirk hit the water he let out screams and cries as if the water was killing him. For a moment John was sputtering and coughing up excess water when he noticed Dirk splashing about as if he was drowning, he stopped and stared. Actual tears started to well up in Dirk's eyes as he cried out, possibly pleading for help. “Wait... hold on your not drowning just calm down." John giggled scooting forward a bit.

As John cautiously moved forward, Dirk almost instantly flung himself into John’s arms. Tears still streaming down his half covered face. John blushed a bit and for a moment cracked a smile. Quickly, John pushed Dirk back " Hey now. Don't get all clingy on me. Your here for a bath nothing else!" John remarked trying to sound possessive. John looked across the tub at Dirk who was now calmly staring back into John's eyes. For some odd reason, it seemed that Dirk felt at peace as long as John was also at peace. “Um so i guess, we can start from top to bottom, or something." John muttered half to himself. Dirk merely stared at him, tilting his head slightly like a confused puppy. John slowly maneuvered his hands to reach for Dirk's dinosaur hat thing. As his hands neared the eye holes, close to the snout Dirk flinched back, putting his pearly whites on display as he did. John shrank back, but only for a moment. " Calm Dirk. I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to help." John confessed softly slowly bringing his hands back up. This time Dirk sat still, allowing John to touch the roof of the fake head. It was still covered in rough fur and because he was wearing it, still felt warm. John placed his hands tightly around it and started to pull. Dirk moaned and growled a bit, but otherwise remained still. At about halfway off of Dirk's head the boy lurched back pulling himself away from John. “What you do that for!" John growled trying to grab the Dirk's head back. Yet again did he make a strange clicking hiss noise from his mouth.

John glared, he was not about to take no for a answer. “Fine, we'll do this the hard way." he growled. He propped himself up on the edge of the tub. Dirk watched as John reached for the soap and a bathroom scrubber. Using his other free hand he quickly grabbed for Dirk's head, causing the boy to flinch. That was all the opening John needed, he swiftly pulled the dinosaur head off and discarded it to the floor. John stared amazed at what he'd reveled. He was right, Dirk was perfectly human. He had dark blond spiky hair; it was actually well kept in one direction, flaying out towards the back. John marveled at Dirk's seemingly flawless face, all except a few freckles around his nose. At least it seemed flawless until John took notice to a scar under Dirk's left eye. It looked deep, almost scary. John reached out a hand to touch it but Dirk quickly turned away. “Oh, don't do that. I won’t hurt you, I promise." John whispered softly. Dirk growled, shook his head in disapproval. John drew his hand back when he snapped at it, as if further implying "no don't touch."

John gave a heavy sigh, to some extent understanding Dirk's personal space. “Fine, let’s get these arm pad things off then." John muttered. Dirk allowed John to take those off with ease, and much less of a struggle. Once they were off John brushed his hand against Dirk's skin. It was a brighter color there and much softer than the rest of his body. John was completely unaware that he was actually feeling up and down Dirk's body. Now placing his hands around the tight muscles of his arms, and slowly moving towards his chest. Believe it or not, but Dirk was actually quite lean. Slowly John moved his hands casually up to Dirk's face. Dirk flinched when John brushed his fingers along the rim of the dark scar. Dirk moaned and growled, a bit upset with the attention he so obviously did not want. John closed his eyes and continued to feel around Dirk's surprisingly soft body. His hands were slowly moving down, further and further until he heard the sound of Dirk's moaning grow louder and more strained. John opened his eyes and shrieked looking down at where his hands had gone. “L-lets um... give you a bath now..." John muttered blushing profusely. Dirk leaned in closer to John, rubbing his soft spiked hair against John's soaked shirt chest. “Um... I didn't mean to touch you down there if that's what you’re thinking." John stuttered lathering up some soap. Dirk ignored Egbert's confession and continued to rub himself against him.

[To Be Continued]

Chapter 4

Summary:

Somehow this Dino boy is a bit more attached to John then it is him. Finally the day is coming to an end. Dave called, he wants his stuff back! But John still has his own problems. Dirk is still here and he's making a bigger mess!

Chapter Text

John washed all the dirty places, and the not so dirty places on Dirk's body. The whole event itself was actually quite enjoyable for both parties. John actually had fun bathing Dirk like a dog, and in turn Dirk enjoyed John's giggling and touching him. At one point he'd even tried to imitate the giggles with his own various noises. Finally the deed was done. "Alright Dirk, here's your towel, and here's mine." John sighed handing Dirk a towel to dry himself off with. John took his own towel and started to rub himself down from bottom to top, not noticing the intimate stare he was receiving from Dirk until he looked over. “Um... is something wrong?" John muttered a bit startled from the staring. Dirk only continued to stare, clutching his towel closely in his hands. John's cheeks grew red as he blushed from all the attention. Dirk's eyes grew wide as he watched John become flustered. "You, don't have to stand there and stare at me like that you know. It's creeping me out seriously." John almost cried out covering his rosy cheeks with his bath towel. Dirk walked over to him calmly, raising his hand to touch John's face. This time, John flinched, making Dirk pull his hand away swiftly. “Please go away... You’re making me uncomfortable." John said with a bit of a timid smile. Dirk backed away from John, as if understanding his plea. John sighed to himself and turned around to grab the lotion, when he noticed Dirk wasn't behind him any longer.

John spun back around quickly, the door was swung open wide. Beads of sweat rolling down his face, “Crap," John screamed, running out into the hall, " Now there's a crazy nude kid running through my house." John moaned aloud. And to make matters worse, John's dad was still at home. John heard a familiar scream, "JOHNATHAN!" Mr. Egbert hollered. John winced at the call, feeling his father's anger. Taking a deep breath, John walked back downstairs. He was ready for whatever punishment his dad would serve. When he arrived in the kitchen, John was faced with the most strangest of sights. Mr. Egbert was standing next to Dirk, holding the boys hand. The towel John had given Dirk was neatly tied around his waist. Mr. Egbert had a strong fatherly look in his eyes, when he noticed the remorseful and worried look in John’s, it faded. “Dad, I’m really sorry. I should have told the truth-“John began to ramble on until his father hushed him. Ruffling his hair, Mr. Egbert smiled, “It’s alright son. I understand, but next time you and your little buddy here want to run around the house in the nude, please try not to do it when I’m home.” Mr. Egbert chuckled. John gave an apologetic nod, still barley understanding why his father was being so lenient. Mr. Egbert ruffled Dirk’s still wet hair and went on about his business through the house.

John watched his father leave the room with a smile, the moment he left John tackled Dirk to the floor. "Don't ever do that again! You could have gotten me in big trouble!" John whispered angrily shaking Dirk violently, banging his head again the kitchen tile. Dirk struggled and clawed at John's arms trying to free himself. Finally, John stopped when the PDA in his back pocket jingled. Both boys jumped, John to look at the message, Dirk to see what the sound was. To John's surprise there were two messages, one from Jade, this was no surprise and the other from...Dave? John looked over both messages. Jade was saying how upset she was about John's rude text this morning, while Dave,

TG: Yo John, you left some of your crud at my house
TG: And by some I mean all
TG: meet me in the park sometime tomorrow
TG: I'll give it to ya then.

John looked back over the message again, trying to think of what he could have possibly forgotten. "Crap!" John screamed as he remembered what he'd forgotten. John ran back upstairs, leaving Dirk in the kitchen by himself. John ran into his room and fled to his backpack, the only problem being it wasn't his backpack. No, it was Dave's backpack. John slapped his palm into his face; with a heavy sigh he threw the bag back down to the floor. “How could I have picked up DAVE'S bag?" John yowled pulling his hair frustrated. At that moment Dirk rushed in, on all fours, he tackled John to the floor. Growling and snarling, Dirk began racking through John's hair with his claws. “Ahh! Dirk what the hell are you doing!" John screamed shielding his face. John pushed Dirk off, sending him flying into a pile of clothes upside down. John jumped up from the floor and looked himself over, complaining and cursing the whole time. Dirk, still upside down on his head, stared at John with big wide eyes. "You could have killed me you crazy psycho!" John yelled stomping his foot down. "I bet I have all kinds of scars on my body now..." John growled looking at his skin. To his surprise, his body was perfectly fine. Not a bit of his skin had been torn, bruised yes but otherwise no blood. John looked over to Dirk with q puzzled glare, and then rushed over to the upside down boy. He grabbed Dirk's wrist and observed his fingers. “How? You have raptor claws or something!” John questioned. Dirk growled at John’s touch, pulling his hand away.

John straightened Dirk back upright, a smile forming between his lips. Dirk jumped up again, though a bit slower this time, figuring he must have startled John the first time. He started to run his hand through John's hair as if he was searching for something. John started to giggle as Dirk's nimble digits fingered his dark roots. That's when the thought crossed John's mind, “Oh, I get it. You were just trying to protect me." John remarked within giggles. Dirk seemed to do a little nod as he continued to search through John's scalp. John burst into laughter; Dirk jumped back and ran underneath John's bed so quickly he almost seemed invisible. “Wait come back, I was only laughing. There is nothing in my hair I promise." John said still giggling. Dirk slowly crept out from under the bed looking around quickly to make sure it was safe. John shook his head in disbelief, and then remembered the horrid state of his room. Everything was still a terrible mess. John clutched his head again, " Oh crud I forgot YOU did all this !" he growled pointing a finger at Dirk who had found a nice comfortable spot in the ripped pieces of bed. John glared at Dirk angrily then decided it wasn't worth it when the boy spun in a circle and laid down to sleep as if he was a dog. John waited for Dirk to drift into a deep sleep before sneaking out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. It must not have been quite enough for after a few steps John heard a frightening noise from behind his door.

It was a fairly familiar sound of infinite destruction. John winced as the sound of splintering wood echoed loudly through the hall. As quickly as the noise came it left. Slowly, John peeked back into the room. To John's surprise his room wasn't destroyed any further, instead Dirk had created a makeshift bed out of the tatters and cotton of John's bed. Dirk was sitting in the middle of the nest singing a strange tune, making that weird noise from before. John frowned and walked over to Dirk's little spot. As he did, Dirk stopped singing and stared at John. “Don’t tear up anything else you got that.” John growled in whispers. Dirk growled back however, baring his pearly whites. John didn't back down, he continued his argument with a glare. “Tomorrow I’m going to go get my stuff back from Dave, and you are going to beat it.” John finished flicking Dirk on the nose. Dirk sneezed, fell over backwards and laid there as if John had killed him. John shook his head and left for the guest room his dad had prepared for obvious reasons. “Tomorrow… He’ll be gone.” John muttered silently to himself as he walked into the room. He climbed into bed already nodding off. “ Gone?” John moaned pulling the covers over himself. Was this really the right thing to do?

Chapter 5: Special V-Day Chapter

Summary:

Happy Valentines Day everybody! Including John.

Chapter Text

Dirk snuggled up to John. He was making a soft purr like noise from his throat, and rubbing his dino skull against John's rib cage. John had just come in from the outside world and he was holding something behind his back. "Hey buddy! You know what today is?" John asked rubbing Dirk under the chin with one hand. " Valentines Day. I'm gonna ask Jade to come over later and join me for a bit." John explained. Dirk tilted his head a bit confused. John giggled and held out a small box of chocolates to Dirk. "You can have only a few, the rest are for me." John warned playfully. Dirk sniffed the box trying to figure out the contents of the gesture. He looked up to John for an answer. John made hand signals for eating until eventually, Dirk got it. He reached into the box and pulled out a piece of chocolate, then shoved it into John's mouth.

John looked at Dirk surprised. As he started to laugh Dirk came over and pressed his lips against John's, concealing the candy with a kiss. John moan and grunted in disagreement as he felt Dirk's tongue swirl around in his mouth. That was when John realized it wasn't a kiss and that the crazy boy was trying to eat the chocolate while it was still in his mouth. He tried to pull away but Dirk held him tight. Finally, Dirk allowed John to pull himself free after he'd gotten a good piece of the chocolate. John wanted to hurl but when he saw the thankful look in Dirk's eyes he started to smile and laugh. This caused him to accidentally swallow the rest of the chocolate. He instantly started to cough and gag. Dirk saw this and wondered if something was wrong.

Taking another piece of chocolate, Dirk placed one end of it in his mouth, then quickly, but carefully, he lifted John's chin and closed the distance between their lips again. Just like last time this wasn't a kiss, Dirk was trying to share a new piece of chocolate with John. John realized this quickly and took a bite before things got any weirder. John swallowed the chocolate again this time without choking. He looked over and saw Dirk staring as if waiting for him to say something. " Um... thanks. I think." John muttered. After those very words Dirk's expression changed. Turning to leave, he seemed satisfied with himself, taking the rest of the chocolates into his mouth,

"Hey," John cried, " some of that was mine!" John growled. Dirk turned back around and looked over to John with a worried look in his eyes. He started to come back, his mouth still packed with chocolate. At this John realized the grave mistake he'd just made.

[End] ~Happy Valentines Day~

Chapter 6

Summary:

Finally, after a long awkward day and a freakish night, the day has passed and John is ready to deliver! Will he get rid of Dirk like he'd planned last night? or does he have more feelings for this boy than he originally thought.

Chapter Text

A few hours into the night, John had missed his own bed and found himself unable to get to sleep. Lucky for him, there was a TV in the guest room. Cause what guest didn't want to watch a little TV. John found the remote and flicked it on. Everything was a bright mass of blur and color. He'd forgotten to put his glasses on. John cursed his faulty vision and turned to the night stand beside the bed to retrieve them. From the corner of his eyes he noticed a large black figure quickly dart across the TV. John quickly pushed on his glasses and turned back around to see who, or what it was. The room was dark with the exception of the TV. The sound of delicate footsteps could be heard. John looked towards the sound only to be freighted by none other than Dirk once again. Dirk had somehow climbed into the bed unnoticed and was staring into John's blue eyes, from a rather close venue. John yelped loudly and pushed Dirk back out of the bed. Dirk hit the floor with a thud and a short disemboweled grunt.

The sound scared John and he immediately looked over the bed. Dirk was lying out on his back, either dead or unconscious. John hoped for better than the worse. “Dirk, please don't be dead." John moaned reaching a hand down to touch the boy. Inches from Dirk's face, the boy's eyes shot open. Dirk snapped at John's extremely close fingers playfully, getting close enough to barley touch the tips every time John would bring his fingers close. “You can't sleep either can you Dirk?" John giggled bringing his fingers down again. After a bit more teasing, John sat back up in bed. Laying his back against the head board, he patted his hand against the mattress, implying for Dirk to join him. Dirk took the hint rather well and jumped into the bed next to John. John ruffled his companion’s hair and picked the remote back up. “Let’s see what we can find on late night tele.” John suggested.

After some many hours of flicking through channels, John was finally starting to nod off. Every time John had changed a channel Dirk had watched his every movement. When John had finally fallen asleep, Dirk carefully took hold of the remote in his hands. Examining it carefully he pressed the first button that looked similar to the one that made the pictures change. Unfortunately, it was the volume instead. The TV basically blasted throughout the room. Dirk yelped, almost dropping the remote. He fidgeted with it until the sound was basically muted. Dirk breathed a heavy sigh, and then tried another button. This time it changed the channel. Slowly, Dirk went from channel to channel till he finally stopped on one that caught his eye. It was some sort of strange romance movie. Of course the movie had to be on the nasty sex scenes. The man on the screen was talking romantically to the female. Dirk watched wide eyed and enamored with the scene as the male actor kisses the female actor. The female actor said some sappy stuff back and the male kissed her again this time harder. He pressed his hands against her breast and laid her down on the bed. Dirk watched everything the actors did with vigilance. The actors fondled one another and made obscene noises as they worked each other over. The noises became so loud that eventually John was woken up by them. “Dirk, what the hack are you watch−” John began with a bit of a yawn. He stopped in shock of what his eyes were witnessing. John quickly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath he took back the remote from Dirk, or at least he tried too.

John’s eyes were closed so he was completely unprepared when Dirk put his lips up against John’s, his tongue lapping the inside of John’s mouth. John moaned trying to break free from his sticky situation. Dirk was holding them both together with all his strength, pressing his full weight onto John. John had no clue Dirk was this strong? He knew Dirk was buff but this strength was unbearable. In desperation, John bit down on Dirk's lip as hard as he could muster. Dirk recoiled back growling and hissing in pain. John cursed and spat out blood and excess saliva. "What the hell did you do that for?" John screamed. Dirk drew back and stopped growling. “Well out with it! You tried to suffocate me you idiot!" John yelled seething with rage. Dirk looked at John shocked and from the loud voice. The noise of the TV in the background increased as the woman screamed out in climax. John glared at the program then back at Dirk who had begun watching it again. John sighed and grabbed Dirk by the cheeks turning his head towards him, away from the TV. "Listen to me. You can’t copy everything you see. Especially what’s on TV?" John explained. Dirk just stared, genuinely confused with John's words. John gave a disappointed sigh. He'd hoped Dirk understood him. John couldn't blame Dirk for trying to learn something new. After all it did seem like he knew nothing about humans. John pet Dirk on the head and placed the remote out of sight. “Go to sleep Dirk. Cause in the morning… just sleep ok.” John muttered falling back asleep. Dirk yawned loudly and snuggled up against John until he was comfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John woke up to complete darkness. Darkness and something extremely heavy onto of him. He felt crushed under the weight of whatever was on top of him, it was very painful. John moaned, trying to move or at least push whatever it was off of him. The large object was warm and fleshy. Thinking for some moments John grew realization of what was crushing him. Dirk. This interaction was slowly becoming a problem. John had to figure out how to ditch Dirk or be burdened with regret. Dirk snored loudly on top of him, John sighed in relief feeling Dirk's bare chest. At least it wasn't his back end. John shuddered at the mere thought of it. John sat perfectly motionless, even if he wanted to move, Dirk's constricting weight, which was slowly tightening around him, would not allow it. "This is ridiculous." John growled trying to shift Dirk off of him. Finally, after a bit more struggling Dirk moved a bit. John heard him yawn overhead and decided to help in the waking process. Pushing lightly on Dirk's chest, John was able to alert him of his presence."Dirk, you're lying on my face. AND crushing my body." John moaned his voice muffled. Dirk yawned again, readjusting himself onto of John's stomach. John sighed in relief as Dirk moved to a more comfortable position. "Thanks. You ready to go back home today?" John asked him ruffling his bed head hair. In response Dirk yawned once more. Placing his chin on John's chest he started to lick John there, getting his chest soaked with saliva. John giggled as Dirk's pink muscle ran up and down his body like an animal. Eventually, he stopped fully satisfied with the moistness of John's chest.

John looked over at the clock on the nightstand. It was already a bit after noon? Gosh, he had slept in quite a bit it seemed. John looked down to his PDA and saw Dave had messaged him again. He was saying he'd made it to the park and was waiting, and getting tired of waiting too. Luckily, the message wasn't all that old so if John hurried he might be able to catch Dave there. He messaged Dave back, saying he was on his way and that he might have a friend. Although, this might was highly unlikely as John was planning to ditch Dirk back where he'd found him. John climbed out of bed; feeling completely satisfied that he would be getting rid of his "problem" soon. Very soon. John looked back at Dirk who was still lying in the bed, upside-down, staring. For some odd reason John thought he saw a hint of dread and sadness in Dirk's eyes "Dirk, you're going home today. Aren't you happy?" John asked a bit worried.

Dirk rolled over right side up again, crawling out of bed he made his little dinosaur noises again. However, this time it seemed tiered and more distant then it's usually happy chime. He made his way over to John and gave a heavy sigh. John pet Dirk on the head and started out of the room. Dirk followed behind him, mimicking his upright movement. John reached his room and picked up Dave's bag. “Here,” he said taking some clothes out of his drawer. Dirk stared down at the articles and tilted his head confused. “Put them on like mine. You can borrow these until I get you home, K." John said putting the clothes on for Dirk. The boy struggled a bit and even tried to bite John before realizing he wasn't trying to suffocate him. Dirk didn't want to take off his fake tail so John had to fix it so it was hidden inside the pants. John backed up and made a canvas with his fingers and sighed, " Its a bit tight but, I guess they'll work." John muttered picking up Dirk's dinosaur mask from the floor."Here, while I was giving you a bath yesterday I washed this stuff a bit." John said handing Dirk his dinosaur head back. It was clean now and didn't smell like blood and rotting flesh. Dirk placed his head back on and smiled happily. John stared at that smile for a bit as Dirk reequipped himself, and for a moment he felt he was doing something wrong. John shook the feeling off quickly and started for the front door. Dirk followed obediently, unaware of John's plans for his fate. Pulling out his PDA, John messaged Dave. He was on his way. "Hey Dad I'm going over Dave's for a bit bye!" John yelled closing the door behind him.

Chapter 7

Summary:

Now John's actually putting his plan into action.... wonder how this will work out. Either way John makes it to the park to return his mistakenly stolen goods.

Chapter Text

John had the plan all mapped out. He'd find his way back to the alleyway Dirk came from, put him back there and then make a break for the park where Dave should surely be waiting for him. Every now and again as John walked, he would look back to make sure Dirk was following him. Of course, he was which, was a good thing. At some point or another John began to recognize the weird street names yet again. “We’re almost home Dirk, well your home. Can you feel it yet?” John asked trying to get some kind of reaction from his strangely silent follower. When John received no response however, he looked back to see what was up. Dirk was quickly looking back and forth, a worried look John could only see from the eyes. John swallowed his saliva a bit unsure, he turned back around and continued walking. After a bit John too began to notice how eerie this neighborhood was. Everything was quiet. It must have been the last time he came but this was so much stranger. ” Dirk, maybe we should turn back.” John muttered turning to his follower.

When he looked back Dirk had stopped some time ago because he was much farther away, on all fours and growling angrily at a random mailbox. John shook his head and ran over to Dirk who kept his gaze and growl steady. John placed a hand on his shoulder and looked over at the mailbox. There was nothing wrong with it as far as he could see, “Dirk what are you staring at that’s creepy. “ John muttered pulling at Dirk trying to get him to move. John sighed and thought of a plan, he began to walk back away from the mail box, pretending to leave Dirk behind. Eventually, after a bit more walking Dirk slowly moved away to follow behind John, steadily looking back at the mailbox. As the twosome left the scene a pair of eyes watched them as they left. “My target has been found.” A voice laughed from within the mailbox.

John moved as quickly as he possibly could away from the strange streets and back into civilization. Dirk had started into a run as they neared the park. “Wait up Dirk you’re leaving me!” John cried trying hard to keep up with the boy. Dirk must have heard him because he soon began to slow his pace, looking back steadily to see if John had caught up yet. Eventually, John did catch up. Breathing heavily as he rested his arm on Dirk’s shoulder. “Ok, you’re gonna have to stop doing that. Also this is a park, with normal people, so this thing is going to have to come off.” John said pointing to Dirk’s dinosaur head a bit out of breath. Dirk groaned out his disapproval and tried to walk away. John quickly yanked him back, flipping him over onto his back. “Let me take it off!” John whispered angrily trying not to make a scene. Dirk however did not care if he was making a scene one way or the other. He cried, growled and howled out into the sky as John struggled with taking his head piece off. Some residents of the park looked while others just passed and pointed fingers. John realized this and got off of Dirk. “Heh, he’s just playing folks nothing to see here.” John yelled to the nearby people as he got up.

Dirk smiled a satisfied grin that John could see as the head mask was halfway on now. John looked around and tried to spot Dave, after a bit he found him. He was sitting on a park bench playing some handheld video game. John sighed in relief then looked down at Dirk who was still on the ground. “Stay!” John whispered sternly, pointing an angry finger at Dirk. Dirk drew back appalled that John had yelled at him. With a snort Dirk picked himself off the ground and stomped off. John shook his head in disbelief then thought for a few moments of this opportunity he’d been handed. It was perfect he could ditch the damn thing at the park and see no more of it. Forever! With a happy skip, John made his way over to the bench where Dave was sitting.

As John sat down Dave placed his game away and held up John’s backpack. “This I believe belongs to you.” He said playfully holding the bag up towards John but just a little out of his reach. John sighed knowing what Dave wanted when he held out his free hand. “I guess I was in such a hurry the other day that I was paying literally no attention.” John giggled taking Dave’s pack off his back and handing it to him. Dave nodded satisfied by the action and handed John back his own bag then patted him on the back. “Good job John. You did well to come here when you did.” Dave said sarcastically.

John chuckled and stretched himself out on the bench. “You won’t believe what I was up against yesterday.” John groaned out loud. Dave shrugged, “Nope, not until you tell me wise guy.” Dave chided playfully. With a sigh John began to tell Dave about his strange trip home. “And the freakiest part of that entire yesterday was this really weird kid.” John whispered. Dave looked at John with a very questionable stare, although John couldn't see it on behalf of his shades. “Really John, you got spooked because of some weird kid? Wait, explain to me how weird.” Dave muttered becoming interested.

Chapter 8

Summary:

Well Dave and Dirk have been introduced to one another and things seem to be going well.... Wait. Is Dirk trying to TALK! No, that can't be right?

Chapter Text

"It was terrible Dave. The dastardly thing followed me home. Don't even ask me how he got in." John muttered finishing his explanation. Dave nodded silently then placed his chin in the palm of his hand, his elbow on his knee. "I'm telling you Dave, that Dirk, he can do some of the most inhumane things." John moaned leaning his head over onto Dave's shoulder. All of a sudden Dave began to laugh causing John to look up from the sudden movement. "I'm guessing that's an example of one of those inhumane things." Dave chuckled pointing out. John looked up and saw the human boy raising his leg to pee on a tree. John’s eyes widened in shock and horror at the action that was about to take place. “DIRK No, no, no! Humans don’t pee on trees!” John shrieked jumping up off the bench. Dirk looked up surprised and slowly lowered his leg down back to the ground and stared. “So that’s your little buddy, huh. Why’s he wearing that…Thing on his head?” Dave yelled as John ran over to Dirk. The boy growled and started to back up defensively. With a glare John grabbed hold of Dirk’s ear and started pulling him back towards the bench were Dave was still sitting. Sitting back, down John let go of Dirk’s ear feeling that this was a safe distance away from any trees.

Dave shook his head in disbelief at what he was seeing now up close. With a sigh John decided it would be best to introduce the two. “Dave, this here is Dirk. Dirk say hello to Dave.” John introduced in a degrading baby talk fashion. Dave glared “John, that thing is not a baby, thus and there for you WILL NOT use that tone ever again.” Dave muttered stressing the words “will not.” John giggled knowing Dave was right, Dirk however didn’t seem to mind the baby talk. In fact, he’d hopped into John’s lap at the finish of the sentence, not paying Dave any attention. John giggled as Dirk tried to give him sloppy wet tongue kisses on the cheek. Dave shivered with repulsion as the scene played out for a bit longer. Finally he came to a conclusion that this had to stop. “SO EGBERT,” he yelled loudly to get John’s attention, “What do you suppose you should do with him? I mean you can’t keep him, its inhumane and just…weird.” Dave muttered still feeling a bit disgusted. John stopped Dirk from administering his loving kisses to stare at Dave with a sincere unsure look. Dirk noticed how John was looking over at Dave and to him, it didn’t look happy. Dirk growled protectively feeling that Dave had said something to offend John.

John pet him on the head, “Its ok Dirk, I’m fine,” John giggled, “and I’m not really sure Dave. I mean I found him, or he found me but I kind of don’t want to let him go. I’ve know he’s only been with me for a day and a half but really that short amount of time feels like forever.” John admitted still petting his buddy on the dinosaur skull. Dave sighed, “John that sounds absolutely insane. BUT, if that’s how you feel about it I can’t tell you not to. I have to warn you thought this does count as kidnapping even though we don’t know where that thing came from.” Dave explained scooting a few inches away when Dirk started to stare. John looked over to Dirk who was still sitting protectively in his lap, Dave was right but he just didn’t know how to let him go. After a small moment of silence Dirk suddenly seemingly out of nowhere started trying to articulate. Like most babies it started out in small choppy pieces, “Whoa, Dirk are you ok! Are you chocking?” John asked a bit worried for this behavior was fairly new. Finally after a bit more struggling, Dirk managed a small bit of a word, “J…Joh...Joan.” He managed to struggle out. John’s eyes lit up with amazement while Dave just stared confused. “OMG! Dave he just said my name! Or at least he said something close but I’m sure it was supposed to be my name!” John beamed.

Dave shook his head in disbelief, “Cute, he’s trying to learn how to speak I guess.” He muttered. John placed a hand on his chest and began the baby talk once more. “Hi Dirk, my names John. Can you say John?” he said softly pointing to himself. Dirk slowly nodded and tried the maneuver again, this time with a bit more success. “J-J…John. John?” Dirk strangled out finally. John’s eyes lit up with wonder and he absent-mindedly hugged Dave next to him. “Did you hear him Dave? He said my name!” John cheered still holding Dave until the Strider grunted in his palm. John blushed, “Oh, um sorry about that Dave. Forgot you were right there.” He said not realizing he was hugging Dave. Dirk stared for a moment then tried out Dave’s name, after a bit he began saying the two names with much more fluency pointing to each boy respectively, until finally he pointed to himself looking up at John expectantly. “Oh, you want to know your name?” John asked Dirk who nodded and pointed to himself again. “Name?” Dirk said slowly. John giggled, “Your name is Dirk. Can you say Dirk?” he said again slowly trying to sound out the words for Dirk. Dirk nodded, “Me Dirk. Dirk” he repeated patting himself on the chest. Then he started to go over the names again.

That’s it!” John shouted startling both Dave and Dirk. “I’ll teach Dirk how to be human. How to read, write, you know all that stuff! He’ll be just like you and me.” John explained. Dave gave John an un-amused look, “But John, he still pees on trees. Are you sure you can handle something like… him?” Dave remarked point a finger at Dirk who in turn snapped at it. John nodded “Sure I can. Sure it’ll be hard. Sure I might think about giving up a few times, but he needs us Dave. Look at him.” John monologue’d taking Dirk up into a hug at the end. Dirk noticed John’s pink rosy cheeks and looked over at what he assumed was the cause. Dave. With a tilt of his head he tried to speak again, “J-John loves Dave?” he murmured pointing to each boy respectively. Both Dave and John looked up in shocked surprise now blushing together. Dirk made a kind of smug smirk at the two. “No no John, there is no we. You are not about to pull me into this nonsense.” Dave groaned crossing his arms. Dirk looked down at Dave’s folded arms and repeated the maneuver with an extra added growl. John laughed, “See you’re teaching him already! Come on Dave, I can’t do this by myself. Dad would never let me keep him. Bro seems like a pretty laid back guy, I’m sure he won’t mind. Plus you’re my bro, soon he’ll be our bro. don’t you want that Dave?” John begged giving Dave puppy eyes. “No not really.” Dave said snidely. John looked away with a look of genuine depression. “Gosh Dave, I just thought, never mind.” He muttered becoming silent.

With a sort of a sigh mixed with a groan Dave looked over to Dirk who had already become distracted and was chasing a bug in a nearby grass patch. “Fine Egbert, I’ll help BUT, if Bro says he has to go, he has to go.” Dave explained patting a supportive hand on John’s back. John squealed happily and hugged Dave. “Good, he’s ours then. Dad probably won’t let him stay overnight anymore, so I’ll teach him in the daytime and you can hold onto him for me till the next day.” John explained standing up. Dave jumped up as well but for a completely different reason. “Whoa no, I agreed to help you teach the darn thing. I am not a baby sitter for your freak dog.” Dave argued. John sighed, “But Dave, you have too. Dirk having a place to stay is a vital stage in this rehabilitating process.” John explained starting another session of puppy dog eyes. Dave sighed again, “If you think you can get him to come over here, I’ll take him with me I guess.” Dave muttered a bit upset. John almost jumped with joy running over to Dirk he screamed, “Yes!” Dirk leaped to his feet defensively with a growl, he calmed once he’d noticed it was John jumping around. He was leaping so much that he tripped over a grass knot and fell onto the ground, albeit still laughing. Dave stood over him a sarcastic smirk forming on his lips. “Am I going to have to take back my earlier offer for your well being that is obviously in peril here?” Dave chuckled flopping down in the grass next to John.

Dirk tilted his head a bit confused, after a bit of close observance he decided to join the two. Laying his head against John’s stomach chin first, the three boys sat just there in the grass of the park. Dave rolled over and began a sort of boyish tickle fight on John’s stomach. John laughed and giggled trying his best to fight back but ending up a failure in the end as Dave was much faster with his hands then John had anticipated. All the movement had caused Dirk to be pushed off. As John and Dave laughed it up, Dirk however was not pleased. The sounds they were making were something he recognized as happy noises, however, the movements they were making were something new. Now he was paying especially close attention to their hands. Finally he was confident he had the motions down, with a powerful tackle Dave was on his back in moments. Dirk growled a toothy grin spread across his cheeks. Dave stared up into Dirk face, sharp gleaming red eyes, much like his own, stared down at him. At some point Dirk noticed this himself and stared back down at Dave. As he pulled out a hand to reach towards Dave’s face he was pulled back harshly, “Dirk no! Dave is not something we maul to death!” John growled defensively holding Dirk back. Dave picked himself off the ground and began brushing the grass off his pants and shirt. “Ok John, I feel it’s time to establish some ground rules.” Dave declared with a hint of a growl himself. “We don’t do NOT in any form or fashion touch ME!” Dave screamed stomping his foot angrily.

With a sigh John took hold of Dirk hand and placed it into Dave’s palm. “He has to touch you Dave. How else will you two get closer to one another?” John muttered pushing the two forward in the direction of Dave’s house. “Come on you two let’s start for home that way you two will have all the rest of the afternoon and tonight to get to know one another.” John suggested starting to lead the way. Both Dave and Dirk stared at one another with confused silence then ran to catch up with John.

Chapter 9

Summary:

Hey guys its me again! I know i'v been gone for some time but hey here we are the next chapter!

So this time John and Dave are headed are for Dave's apartment. Along they way they run into..... Jake!? What is he doing with that gun!? Any who once that's all over Dirk doesn't seem to attached to Dave's place. In fact he doesn't seem to like it at all. This could turn out too be a LOOOONNNGGGG Night.

Chapter Text

Dave and John talked all the way back to his apartment. Mostly the conversation was about Dirk and how Bro would totally “flip his shit.” Dave adjusted his shades, “So let me clear this one more time. You John will be keeping this throughout the day and teach him stuff.” He asked referring to Dirk as the “this.” John nodded with a bit of a giggle, “yup and if you have time, when I drop him off at your place you can teach him stuff too. “ John suggested patting Dave on the back reassuringly. Dave rolled his eyes unamused but continued onward anyhow. Upon reaching about the corner before Dave’s apartment, Dirk began to growl. “John, I think your little buddy is tiered of walking.” Dave whispered. John looked back to see hat Dirk had now stopped completely and growling. “Dirk its OK, I know this street is unfamiliar but we’ll be fine.” John said in a bit of a low hushed tone so not to startle Dirk or make him think he was yelling. Suddenly a gunshot rang out, Dave and John both reflexively ducked from the sound Dirk on the other hand let out this loud, shrill, slightly inhumane cry. John slowly opened his eyes and noticed Dirk had reverted to being back on all fours. He was growling at a bullet for some odd reason.

“What was that? Think whoever it was, was aimed at Dirk?” John whispered still a bit shaken. Dave stood up trying to act cool and calm about the whole situation but really he was just as shaken as John. The boys look around trying to figure out or catch even a glimpse of who had shot at them. Suddenly Dirk growled viciously and took off like a large cat that had just spotted his game. For a moment John just stood there staring confused until Dirk disappeared around the corner, only then did he take chase. Quickly taking Dave’s arms he ran calling out for Dirk to come back. “Oh Dave, what if right now in the middle of this horrible end of town we lose Dirk? We have to find him before he gets hit by a car or something.” John moaned trying to push himself onward. Dave rolled his eyes underneath the safety of his shades. “Look John, he’s ok I’m sure. He probably just saw some alley cat and ran after it.” Dave replied trying to slow John down. After a bit of thought John did slow down, seeing as how Dave’s statement actually made some sense. “I know Dirk hasn't been with me but for only like, a day and a half but_ I feel something between me and him Dave.” John started to explain.

Suddenly Dirk’s familiar inhumane growls sounded out close by. John recognized them, they were rushed and angry. “That sounded close. I think he’s over here.” Dave cried out. This time Dave pulled John around the corner, the two arrived just in time to see a rather startling scene. Dirk was on top of another teenage boy about John and Dave’s age. This boy, just like John, was wearing black rimmed glasses, a grassy green jacket and a pair of Khaki brown shorts. Dirk had this boy pinned and was threatening to claw his throat out, striking at him again and again with reckless abandon. The boy in question was struggling to get Dirk off, however he wasn’t screaming for help or anything of the sort. He seemed to be wrestling with him, trying to shove Dirk over onto his back. Dave looked at the battle a bit confused, “Jake?” he muttered half to himself. At that moment John let go of his hand and called out, “Dirk stop it!” John cried rushing over to the disastrous brawl. Upon hearing John call for him Dirk looked up for a moment in that direction. That was all the distraction Jake needed, using his free hand he hooked Dirk once in the chest to push him off and then again with his other hand he jabbed him again twice. Once in the throat, the other dead center in the jaw.

Dirk reeled back in pain, with a shriek’ish loud howl. John ran over and grabbed Dirk up in his arms before he could muster up another strike. “Dude, Jake I’m so, so, so sorry! Dirk just got a little startled that’s all, I’m sure he didn't mean it. Honest.” John began to explain. Jake glared over at Dirk who was struggling against John’s weight, to some extent he was winning. Snapping, making animalistic growls and snarls, Dirk tried everything make himself seem vicious. Dave stood back a few feet from the noisy teen; he raised a brow in suspicion when Jake began to thumb at the gun in its holster by his waist. Finally he spoke up, “You wouldn't happen to have been the guy who shot at us earlier would you Jake?” Dave asked propping his shades up on his face. Jake looked up finally to acknowledge Dave’s presence. He walked straight past Dirk and smiled, “Oh mister Strider, I didn't notice you there for a moment. What with this wily ol’ beast snapping at me, how are you today my old chum?” Jake asked obviously trying to change the subject.

Dave decided to humor him for a moment, a cunning smirk now form on his lips. “Oh I’m fine. Well how about you? Seen any good game lately, around here some place perhaps?” Dave asked wearily taking a step forward to shake Jake’s hand. Jake took the gesture proudly, “That’s good to hear, and unfortunately I haven’t found much game this week. Although there is this one rather annoying beastie I’d like to get my hands on.” Jake sighed trying not to sound too anxious. Dave saw through it. At that moment John came over to the two, he’d calmed Dirk down by this point and wanted to see what they were going on about. Jake glared down at Dirk as the boys came over. “So what brings you on this end of town Jake?” John asked anxiously. Jake tried to put on a fake smile, “Oh I was just passing through. Nothing much to see here really, I’d intended to go visit Dave’s place while I was on this end of town but he’s here now so that ends that.” Jake said with a sort of laugh. John smiled, “Well that’s a relief you didn't have to go all the way over there and then back, huh.” John inquired with a nod. Jake nodded back in response then turned to leave. “Oh Jake hold on!” John called to him. “Jade left me this really angry message earlier. Tell her I’m sorry OK?” John asked in a hopeful tone. Jake only waved back in response to John’s request, quickly making his way down the quite street.

Dave shook his head and started to walk again. John and Dirk followed. “Egbert you know Jake’s the one who shot at us earlier right?” Dave asked suddenly. John looked over to him, a confused expression now dawning on his face. Dave only needed that one face to know how clueless John was about the whole ordeal that just went down. With a sigh he just let it drop and decided to strike up a new conversation. “So, what’s the first thing we’re gonna teach this bad boy anyways?” Dave asked actually seemingly enthusiastic about the idea of training Dirk. This was a subject John could get into, “Oh well I was thinking we could teach him to form sentences and stuff first. Then we could work our way into all that complicated kindergarten junk like math and science and shapes. Oh but wait all that’s important too.” John rambled on. Dave chuckled, holding back the smirk on his face was a bit hard when your best friend was going on about teaching a teenage human like a babe. Finally the threesome reached Dave’s apartment. John had decided to stay and chat for a little bit. However when time came for John to leave the two nearly had to tie Dirk down just to get him to stay in Dave’s apartment. “I should probably get home. Dad will get really antsy if I’m not home before 12:00. Good luck tonight Dave!” John called on his way out the door. As Dave closed the door behind him all he could hear was the sound of ripping felts, plastic, and maybe even a little rubber. The squeaker on one of the smuppets was pressed so hard it sounded like it was going to explode. Slowly, Dave turned around to see the catastrophe Dirk had made of the small apartment living room in less than a few seconds. At that moment Bro comes home, "Hey Dave I saw John on the way up here, said you had something to tell me." Bro muttered opening to front door.

This was going to be a long night.

Chapter 10

Summary:

SO, Dirk and Bro become wantonly engaged with one another, not that Bro wants it. The two have a bit of a rough start and it turns out that Lil'Cal got caught in the mix up. Oh well these two will get along eventually I suppose.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Taking a deep breath Dave stood up straight waiting to be harshly reprimanded, However, Bro did no such thing. In fact the older man’s face went blank one could even say white. Quietly he stood there, facing Dave and the destruction that was they’re living room, or rather his living room. When Dave noticed no immediate action was being taken he decided to use the opportunity to explain himself. “Bro! You’re home so soon, I can explain how ANY of this happened you see it’s a really funny story.” Dave began with unsure timid chuckles in between. Bro just continued to stare, not moving a single muscle. Dirk too was staring unsure who this new person was or whether or not to attack. His crisp blood red eyes snarling brightly. Suddenly, with the speed of something like a lightning bolt, Bro had backed Dave up against the wall in less than the blink of an eye. “Ok Dave, explain to me then. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SMUPPETS!” Bro yelled with vicious anger. Dave felt vulnerable, completely at Bro’s mercy, which Dave knew Bro didn’t have, trapped between a rock and a hard place. Dave’s courage and man grit was slowly waning, ebbing away as Bro continued to push and prod him further against the wall. Dave didn’t want to strife with his brother today, but he also didn’t want to get the living hell beat out of him for not speaking up. Suddenly all the worry and present fear mysteriously vanished when he heard Bro’s yowl of pain, however new fears replaced them as he spotted Dirk attached to his brother’s rear end. Dave cursed under his breath for the outcome of this event would surely be severe. For a moment, or six, Dave stood back and watched, thinking this the wonderful and extremely valid opportunity to make his escape. On the other hand he remembered how much of a cruel hot head his brother could be when he was angry. For some moments more Dave continued to watch Bro spin around wildly trying to hit at Dirk, all the while scooting himself out of the corner.

Finally Dave decided it was about time to end this bizarrely hilarious scene and call Dirk off. Using his fingers Dave made a loud whistle. Both Bro and Dirk stopped but only Dirk rushed over to Dave’s side. Bro rubbed his sore ass and glared over at Dave, despite the triangular shades Bro sported on his face Dave still felt the cold disapproving stare. “What the HELL is that thing doing in my apartment Dave?” Bro yelled stomping his foot down with an angry finger point. Dave held up his hands, “Whoa, whoa calm down Bro he was only trying to help. Those pants you’re wearing ARE really atrocious.” Dave snickered petting Dirk on the head. Dirk seemed to emit a purr as he kept a focused eye on Bro. “isn’t he sweet. John said I can keep’em in the evenings. I think I’m going to like that now.” Dave said snidely as Bro walked past him slowly against the wall. Once he was successfully across the room in what the Striders called the kitchen area he shot another dark glare at Dave, thus prompting a protective growl from Dirk. “Look Bro, I’ll be honest with you. Egbert found him not me. Apparently he wants to keep the thing but his Dad won’t hear it…or at least he thinks he won’t hear it.” Dave started to explain. Bro slammed his fist down on the counter top, “I won’t hear of it either if it keeps trying to eat my ass all day.” Bro grunted. At the sound of the slam Dirk jumped back to attention growling. That was all the warning Bro needed. With a deep breath he decided to let his nerves calm down. “Alright. I’m chill now, lay to me slow ok. Gotta have time to process the utter bullshit you’re about to slam into my brain.” Bro sighed leaning against the counter now.

It wasn’t much of an explanation because to be honest Dave himself didn’t truly know the whole story. He only knew the bits and pieces John had told him that afternoon. It was dark out now and about eight or nine a ’clock. By the end of the story Bro and Dirk had somehow come to terms with one another. Of course Dirk openly expressed his likeness of Bro by sitting himself next to the older man. “So, you and the little Egbert-boy are really planning on teaching this thing, Huh?” Bro asked raising a brow. Dave nodded slowly, “At least that’s HIS plan, and at first I wanted no part of this crazy idea. But then the more he explained it the more I became interested.” He explained some more. Dirk laid his head down on Bro’s lap and threatened to playfully nip him in the thighs. Swiftly Bro pushed the boy out of his lap and onto the floor. “You two do know how completely illegal and inhumane this is and sounds right? Dirk here is a person…or at least I think it is.” Bro said sternly rising up from his spot on the futon. Dave looked around as if searching for an imaginary answer. Bro shook his head and looked down at Dirk who was still in the same spot, on his back, were he had pushed him off only a few moments ago. “Look Dave I don’t have anything against you or John’s little game but while you two are playing it make sure he stays far away from me.” Bro sighed making his way back into the kitchen area. Dave smiled keenly knowing he’d won.

With a confident yawn and stretch Dave got up himself now. “Well I guess I’m off to bed night Bro.” he said scratching his chin. Bro at the time was thankfully drinking a glass of water, so when the stream of the liquid came spewing out the stain was mostly invisible. Dirk looked up at Bro confused as to why he just released that strange fluid from his mouth. “DAVE! You take your buddy to bed with you!” Bro yelled gaining no answer for a response. Bro rolled his eyes and with an unamused sigh he looked over to see what Dirk, who was now on his two feet, was doing. What he discovered made his jaw drop in pure shock. Between not even two seconds ago and now Dirk had gotten ahold of Bro’s puppet Lil Cal and was sending the poor thing for a loop by one arm. Growling and snarling like a dog, Dirk pulled and ripped into Cal’s delicate stitch work. “HOLY SHIT! No bad dog, dinosaur, whatever the hell you are. NO!” Bro screamed quickly darting over to Dirk’s position and grabbing ahold of Cal’s other hand. To be honest it was a pretty dumb decision for once Bro had a good grip Dirk swore he was playing and decided to pull a bit harder, shaking his head vigorously. In a matter of seconds Lil Cal’s left arm came clean off, with a harsh fabric ripping noise. Both Dirk and Bro were sent flying backwards from the release force, sent into opposite corners of the small room. Instantly Dirk flipped himself over, he was about to start another playful growl when he noticed the hurt look on Bro face.

Even though Dirk had only known this man for a few minuscule hours but somehow he knew that his actions had hurt Bro somehow. Taking the piece of arm into his hand Dirk awkwardly clambered to his feet. Slowly he crept over to Bro who seemed to be emitting an enraged aura. “So much as touch me and I’ll break your arms off right here, right now!” Bro yelled defensively when Dirk came too close to his comfort zone. Dirk growled back in response but continued to come forward ignoring Bro’s previous threat. The two were barely even a few inches from each other when Bro swiftly pulled out his katana, however Dirk didn’t waver in his steps. He slowly began to mouth some sort of words, “Bro, s s-sordy?” he tried to say. Bro raised a confused brow. “What the fuck did you just…WHAT!” Bro yelled incoherently. Dirk tried again getting closer, “s-ssory? Bro’s sory?” he muttered staring into the older man’s eyes directly. Bro crooked a smirk, then he began to chuckle. “You’re like some kind of child for real then, huh? No I’m not sorry, you on the other hand will be if I catch your grimy hands on my shit again.” Bro grunted snatching Lil, Cal’s puppets hand from Dirk.

Still a bit confused, Dirk decided that Bro was pleased enough with his actions of forgiveness. Taking a big lunge, he tackled Bro to the ground locking his claws onto the older man’s shoulders as he connected with his lips using his tongue to force them apart. “What the FUCK, get the hell off me you crazy thing!” Bro yelled trying to push Dirk off. At that moment Dave groggily came in rubbing his obviously sleepy red eyes, “Bro, could you and Dirk stop being lovers for two seconds so I can sleep?” Dave moaned. He suddenly grew quiet when he realized that what he'd once said as a joke was now taking place upon the awkward sight upon the floor. Or at least that's how Dave saw it. Bro stared up at his brother, his shades leaning precariously to the side, “Dave, it’s not what you think. Just get him off and I’ll explain.” Bro started to say all the while Dave was shaking his head. “Nope, no, not doing this, SO NOT DOING THAT! Goodnight Bro.” Dave muttered quickly absconding back to his room. All he could hear as he ran back was the sounds of Bro’s muffled screaming and, “You are so DEAD in the morning Dave. Dead, you hear me? Dead!”

Notes:

So this chapter seems a bit longer than my others. Also feels a bit rushed, but I suppose its not or something. However Despite all this I thoroughly enjoyed writing it.

Chapter 11

Summary:

Well, John's back home and getting some rest and Dave's long since let Bro and Dirk get fully acquainted. This chapter is FULL of love and questions try not to fan girl-spaz all over the place. (hehe as if)

Chapter Text

John had gotten home relatively quickly. Faster than the first time to be exact. He opened the front door quietly not wanting is Dad to know he’d been out so late at night. If he needed an alibi all he’d have to say was that he was coming back from Dave’s place and that he was giving Dave back his stuff. Thinking about it under the circumstances it seemed less of an excuse and more of a truth. John had gone out earlier to give Dave back his stuff. Sure they had talked for a few hours or two but really it was Jake’s fault he was out so long. Wait Jake’s fault. Oh yeah that’s right on John’s way back home he’d spotted Jake headed someplace or rather Jake had spotted John heading home. Jake stopped him and the two struck up a conversation of sorts. “So tell me Egbert ol’ bean, where did you acquire such an… interesting specimen like that?” Jake had said out straight. John tilted his head like a confused puppy for a moment before he came to realize what Jake was talking about. “Oh you mean Dirk right? Well I didn't acquire him. To tell you the truth I don’t really know where he came from it’s pretty scary to think about. You know a place of people like him.” John started to explained. Jake did nothing but simply nod. He pushed his glasses up closer on his face adjusting them then stopped John mid-sentence. “So if someone was to say, happen upon him... all alone… no one around to witness a certain scene… and dare I say maybe pops a cap in his arse and whatnot. How would you react to that sort of thing lad?” Jake had asked rather quietly in certain parts. John stared at him for a few moments trying to figure out whether or not he should be appalled or confused. “Well um Jake, I guess I would be a little sad maybe? I mean I’ve only known Dirk for a little bit…say what are you going on about anyhow? You’re not planning on killing or hunting him down or anything are you!” John cried out worried. Jake patted his friend on the back with a little chuckle. “Nonsense, I just wanted to know where you stand with the crazy beastie.” Jake had said.

John nodded silently still not sure what to say. “I’d be careful if I were you though, that thing is fierce and heaven only knows what will happen to you if he becomes frightened and you’re standing between him and the exit.” Jake said with a whisper into John’s ear. The warning came out dark and strong, heck almost threatening. John looked up quickly with a gasp at what had just been said. Somehow Jake was gone within that moment, nowhere to be found. John had been left alone in silence.
John was still a bit nervous over what Jake had said. He didn't really understand what his questioning him was all about either. He supposed it wasn't all that bad of a question but still, it did pose a sort of wariness in the boy. Still, John was rid of Dirk for the night and he could finally relax. I wasn't too late and damn it he wasn't sleepy either so he settled himself down on the couch to watch a little T.V. Upon turning on the darn thing and flipping through a few channels he soon realized that the nighttime television was all but dead. With a bored sigh, John laid back on the couch and drifted off into a deep sleep.

Back at the Strider residence things had finally grown peaceful. Bro was quietly sitting on the futon which he also called his bed on most nights. Dave had offered him a spot on the floor up in his room and even twice he offered to scoot over for him in bed, but Bro still chose the futon. Truly it had become more comfortable to him than any other cushy object in the house, well almost any object. As old as he was now Bro still had a fondness to plush rump every now and again. Right now he was sewing Lil Cal’s arm back on after his and Dirk’s little strife earlier. Dirk was lying on the floor. He’d made himself some sort of strange nest out of mostly the carpet, some string and the many smuppets just lying around. Believe it or not he actually looked real happy. The whole scheme of things was pretty peaceful. It was however until almost out of nowhere Dirk let out a strangled groan, he struggled madly in the pile of squeaking plush rumps. Bro looked down at him momentarily for only a moment then continued with his tinkering. Only when Dirk began to cry out did Bro finally pay a bit more attention. “Alright, I give tell me what your freakin’ problem is and save me the trauma of wondering.” Bro groaned lifting himself up from the futon. He let Lil Cal prop himself up on the pillows as he walked over to Dirk slowly.

As if the boy was able to sense him in his sleep, Dirk jumped up to his feet and assumed a fighting pose. Something like the starting stance of a sumo wrestler, fangs bared, clawed nails sharp and poised to kill. Bro held up his hands defensively, “Alright Tarzan I was only worried, chill man.” Bro grumbled before backing off genuinely startled but not too much. Dirk realizing Bro was not a threat slowly lowered himself back down onto the pile and sat down his legs crossed Indian style. Bro didn't take his eyes off Dirk for a moment, seemingly mesmerized by their mysterious glow. “What are you?” He muttered mostly to himself. Dirk yawned loudly and stretched himself like a cat, he rolled over on his back and moaned staring up towards the ceiling. “Only been gone for a few hours and you already miss him huh” Bro sighed with a bit of a chuckle as he laid himself back down onto the futon this time in preparation for sleep. After dozing off for a bit he felt something heavy and warm climb up onto the futon and lay virtually on top of him. After a struggle to turn himself around Bro realized Dirk had made himself completely comfortable on his back. He was even cradling Lil’ Cal despite Bro’s earlier scorn. With a heavy sigh Bro gave in and allowed, “The damned thing to sleep on top of me for a little bit.” He grumbled falling back to sleep.

Chapter 12

Summary:

HUZZAH! After a long hiatus I think its safe to say that i'm back! Sorry for such the long wait, i can't really promise that it wont happen again, and i really do hope you'll all stay with me?

Soooo In this chapter we start with a startling scene...THEN PANCAKES! afterwords John finds himself in quite the pickle when an unexpected guest meets him at his front door.

Chapter Text

“Dirk, I think…I think I want you to stay with me. Forever.” John said touching the dino boy on his chest. Dirk stared back at Egbert, his scarlet eyes glistened. Dirk seemed to be looking past John. The boy didn't realized it until Dirk had literally made the action of walking past him. “Dirk? Dirk what’s wrong? Dirk please don’t leave!” John called out as Dirk continued to walk past him. Seemingly out of nowhere Jake had appeared behind John, a similar blank expressionless stare like Dirk’s on his face. “Jake, what are you doing here?” John asked. Jake too was looking past him, however the object he was looking at was clearly defined. Dirk. As the realization hit him, Jake suddenly pulled out his twin arms and fired them viciously at Dirk. With a speed as quick as John though Dave could only pull off Dirk dodged the bullets and landed back in the same spot. “You’re a monster! That’s all you’ll ever be nothing more nothing less. It’s my job to hunt down and stuff monsters. It’s what I do after all. I am a connoisseur of bizarre freaks like yourself and you my friend will be the most gracious of specimens.” Jake said with an almost devilish laugh. John had absolutely no clue what was going on and before he could even discern this strange scene Dirk shot off on all fours towards Jake.

Fangs bared, claws scrapping against the dark concrete. “Dirk no wait stop!” John tried to yell but somehow Dirk had run straight through him as he was some strange mist-like hologram. Dirk leapt into the air and body slammed down onto Jake, the sound of gunshots, tearing flesh, and screaming was all Egbert could hear. Clutching his head still confused he could take no more, “Dirk I said STOP!” John yelled out towards the sky. The word seemed to hang on the air for a few moments almost echoing on the empty street. Dirk crawled himself off of Jake who seemed to be dead. “John…I’m sorry. I only wanted to protect-“Dirk started when another gunshot sounded off. Dirk slowly lifted a hand up and placed it against his now bleeding chest. “Haha, thanks for that marvelous distraction Egbert ol’boy. He didn't even see it coming.” Jake laughed kicking the stunned and dazed Dirk to the pavement. John ran to Dirk who was coughing and spitting up blood “Dirk no. Jake why did you-“John began to ask looking up when he realized there was no Jake any longer. The boy was gone, the street was gone.

There was nothing but black and silence.

KUTHUMP!

John fell right off the edge of the couch and onto the hard floor below. Rubbing his head, he gazed about the room confused. There was a noise in the kitchen, the sound of clattering plates and the sweet aroma of pancakes. Pancakes. John hadn't had those in a while. Dad must have been in a really good mood to be making those. Rolling himself over he decided to allow himself to fully wake up on the floor before moving on to the kitchen. “What was that dream all about just now? I hope Dirk’s ok, oh what am I saying I hope Dave’s ok too.” John whispered mostly to himself. In the end he decided it was just some bizarre dream and put his wondering to rest. Almost simultaneously Mr. Egbert came in from the kitchen, standing in the doorway his fatherly apron on. “Good morning sleepy head. Think your awake enough to enjoy some delicious pancakes with your old man before he heads out?” he asked waving a spatula about playfully in the air. Eagerly, but not too much, John nodded and stood himself up. With a mock serious bow, Mr. Egbert bowed fervently as John entered the kitchen. This made the teen giggle as he sat down at the pre-prepared table. Not soon after John sat down did his father sit down across from him. “So tell me John, how’s life treating you? Anything interesting happen this week?” Mr. Egbert asked pouring some syrup from the bottle at the center of the table onto the fresh hot pancakes on his plate. John did so also and immediately began eating.

“Well, not much really. Classes have been pretty slow actually. Kind of glad it’s the weekend now.” John began still munching on his pancakes the whole time. Mr. Egbert nodded and politely took a bite of his own pancakes. “That’s good. Anything else happens, something special you want to tell me about. More specifically the claw marks all over the hallway and the floors?” he then asked with a cunning smirk. John chocked slightly. He’d completely forgotten about the horrible mess Dirk had made. Not to mention the ghastly appearance of his own room. Oh how he feared what his father’s face looked like when he witnessed that horrid scene. John began to sweat a bit now, he tapped his foot on the floor complacently and his eating had slowed considerably. With a heavy sigh John placed his fork down. He sat up straight and looked his father in the eyes. “Dad, I want to tell you the truth and no matter how crazy it sounds could you please believe me?” John asked now tapping his fingers together. Just when he was about to speak his cell buzzed around in his pocket.

“Dave thank goodness you called, oh it’s important, oh my, gosh he did what! Ok I’ll be over quick!” John said hanging up his cell. Quickly John rose up from his chair and rushed over to the door. “Sorry Dad. Dave said Bro was having a real funky stomach ache and asked me to accompany him to the hospital. Haha, funny how that happened just now. Um, we’ll have to continue this interesting conversation some other time.” John speedily muttered as he rushed out the front door. Of course there was NOTHING wrong with Bro. John had just made the whole arrangement up, talking over Dave’s actual sentence. Was that even Dave? Just as the thought began to process John felt a stinging pain at the back of his head. He’d been struck by something fierce and it hurt! “Ow! Why would you do that Da…JADE?” John cried out realizing who he had the honor of addressing. Jade had a pretty upset look on her face, like beet red and fuming from every pour red. She was tapping her foot on the ground, her arms folded as impatiently as she was. John opened his mouth to speak but it was too late, she had already begun her rant. “Ok John, I want the truth. The whole truth. First I tried to text you yesterday about something super important, today I tried calling you to see if we could finish that craft project at your place, OH BUT NO! You John Egbert decided to ramble over my entire sentence and ONTOP of that you hung up in my face! So why John? What is it that is probably so unimportant that you must avoid me at every turn?” Jade raged before finally taking a break only to wait for John’s response. He felt sorry really he did. John never meant to ignore Jade, heck he didn't even know the poor girl was trying to contact him and about the project he’d totally forgotten about that.

Once more John tried to speak when his cellphone went off again. Jade’s already furious glare began to increase. “Um, that’s probably Dave. You don’t mind if I answer it right?” John asked cautiously. Jade gave a heavy exasperated sigh, “Sure John, answer your stupid cellphone. It’s not like you haven’t been ignoring me all since yesterday.” She groaned. John gave her a sympathetic half smile before answering his cell. On the other end before John could even say “Hi Dave what’s up?” the familiar sound of ripping and tearing claws being raked against the walls and furniture was heard loud and clear. Dirk was howling or crying out in the background and the only other voice that could be heard was Bro’s saying, “Damn it Dave could your stupid wife answer the phone HER KID is driving me nuts!” John could hear. At this point Jade had gotten close enough herself to try and eavesdrop on the conversation, if there HAD been a conversation rather than noise. “Um Dave? You and Bro alright over there?” John asked pretty much already knowing the answer. A short moment of silence crossed over, either Dave had died or Bro had gotten Dirk to settle down. “Oh thank goodness I put you on speaker. John this thing misses you. It is literally climbing up the fucking walls, and as freaking cool as that may be, I don’t think Bro can afford the bill our landlords gonna give us when he sees this.” Dave began. Jade stared at John genuinely confused but decided to hold her questions. "So the sound of your voice seems to have momentarily soothed him but I don’t know what he’ll do when he realizes you’re not in the house, once he’s done searching for you in the cabinet under the sink. Egbert. Get. Over. Here. NOW!” Dave finished firmly than for once hung up in John’s face. John stared at the phone for a moment than back up at Jade who held up a hand. “Save it! Dave sounded like he needed help. WE should probably go see what’s up.” Jade said still a hint of irritation in her voice. John nodded and the two rushed off down the street.

John knew Dave needed help. How much help was the question?