Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The holocron was practically one of those long, evil gloating monologues that you saw in holos, only it was different knowing how deeply Snoke had manipulated everything, including the war with the First Order and the Resistance, in a way. And Ben. 

The moment you were conceived, I used you. 

Pure, white hot anger seemed to fill his mind like a sudden flood of light, even as Snoke’s words stuck in his brain like a stuck song. 

The moment you were conceived, I used you. 

The moment you were conceived...

The moment

the moment

The Moment

”Poe?” Kylo’s voice stirred him from his thoughts. 

“I just...I’m sorry.” Poe’s voice cracked, and his vision grew hot and wet. “You deserved so much more, Ben.”

He drew Kylo into his arms, and for a moment, their bodies entwining felt nice, like they were meant to fit together. Poe held Kylo long after Snoke’s monologuing ran out. He could tell that Kylo was trying, trying so hard not to cry. All as it sunk in just how badly Snoke had used him. 

“It’s not your fault,” Kylo murmured. “And I shouldn’t have said what I said earlier. You did nothing to hurt me. I’m sorry for everything I ever said and did to you.”

Poe withdrew from him. “I don’t...forgive you forgive you,” he said. “But I still love you, even after all this time. You don’t have to work for that.”

Kylo nodded. “I know.”

***

They had to leave, of course. The Knights were guaranteed to follow the former Supreme Leader; Kylo had spoken with them on their way out, and they had agreed to come with him. Even as they cast away their helmets, they looked disoriented, almost like they hadn’t expected to actually go without them this time around. 

“Strange,” the Rogue said. “I never thought...”

”I know,” Kylo said. “I really do. Come on...we need to get to the escape pods...”

It was in that moment that there were footsteps. Too many of them. Kylo drew his lightsaber, motioned for the others to stay back. And two familiar faces came through the corridor (Rey and FN-2187)— along with two faces that Kylo didn’t recognize — a rather pretty young woman with black hair in a ponytail and smooth olive skin, and a blond woman with her hair in buns. 

Rey was the first one to speak. “I don’t want to hurt you, but if you’ve hurt Poe again — ”

”He hasn’t.” Poe stepped out from behind Kylo. “He stepped in when Hux was trying to hurt me. It’s a long story.”

All four looked amazed — Rey actually seemed to go through a mixture of hurt and amazement all in one. Then, “So Snoke...wasn’t entirely lying.”

”What are you talking about?” FN-2187 said. 

Rey took a deep breath. “Maz said Snoke planted visions in our minds when we touched hands. That’s how Kylo saw who my parents were — or who he thought my parents were.”

”After everything else Snoke did, that’s not implausible,” Kylo said.

FN-2187 sighed. “You’re not making sense.”

Kylo held out the holocron. “I’ll show you when we get out of there. Do you have a ship?”

A nod from Rey. 

“Good. I think this is something that can explain everything, for what it’s worth.”

The Son of Darkness shook. Outside, Kylo realized, there were ships coming out of hyperspace, ready to destroy him even with Poe and the others onboard. 

"Let’s get out of here,” the Rogue said. 

FN-2187 nodded. “Just don’t make any sudden moves.”

They headed towards the hangar, even as the ship shook, even as other soldiers shot at them. Finally, they reached the ship — a ship that Kylo never thought that he would see again. The Millennium Falcon. 

Poe and Rey scrambled towards the cockpit, where they sat there and fired it up. Kylo sat behind them. He wasn’t ready to pilot the ship of the father he had killed. Not yet. And even as Poe and Rey steered the Falcon away from the Son of Darkness as it went down, Kylo doubted he could be prouder of them. 

They were heroes. More than heroes. 

And from there...from there the future was uncertain, but hopefully it would be a better, easier one than the present they had, or the past they had been dealt. 

Let the past die. 

And for the first time, Kylo understood, fully, what that meant.