Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Peter laid on his back looking up at the sky. He was now on top of the apartment building he and May lived in. May was attacked. She was murdered by a robber. Peter had been out patrolling when he got the call. Peter grabbed his phone and tried to call Tony once again. “Hello, if you are hearing this I am busy at the moment and you shouldn’t have my personal number anyway. Please leave a message after the beep”

Peter closed his eyes, feeling the threat of oncoming tears as he listened to the voicemail. “Hey..Mr. Stark...something came up and...just call me back…” He said in a teary voice before hanging up.

Peter sat up. A deep feeling of hopelessness pooled in the pit of his stomach. A sob tore through the quiet afternoon.

He tried to call Tony again. Finally getting a reply.

Avengers Tower
“Mr. Stark, second incoming call from Peter,” F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke as their show was paused once again. The Avengers were sitting around the living room.

“Hey kid, what’s wrong?” Tony asked as soon as he heard Peter sniffing in the other end.

“May’s gone…” Peter said quietly.

“What do you mean gone…? Did she leave?” Tony asked. He heard a faint chuckle that was drowned by a sob.

“Yes Mr. Stark, I’m calling you because May went on a vacation,” Peter said sarcastically. “Mr. Stark….She’s dead…,” Peter said as tears began streaming down his face. “I can’t do this anymore Mr. Stark..,” Peter said giving up. “She’s gone…They killed her...Mr. Stark...oh god,” Peter let loose a heart-wrenching sob.

“Shit!” Tony cursed as he scrambled to get to the teen. His voice was panicked.

With Peter

There was frantic rustling on the other line before Peter heard engines starting. Peter looked down over the edge. He wanted so badly to let go, but he found himself unable to. He fell to his knees, sobs wracking his body. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs.

After a few minutes, he felt strong arms wrap around his arms and chest, pulling him into a standing position. “Let’s get you home..,” Came the sad voice of Tony Stark. Peter knew what Tony meant by home. He didn’t mean back to the apartment himself and May shared. He meant the Stark Tower.

Peter was hyperventilating. He felt his chest constricting tightly and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Peter. I need you to calm down,” Tony’s cool voice laced with slight panic rang through his head.

“She’s...gone...Tony….she’s gone...they killed her...they killed her while I was...Oh god...,” Peter said. It was very clear that the teen was distraught. Tony was not the best at comforting. Peter continued to hyperventilate as his mind flooded with everything that went on the past two days. Peter saw black edging his vision. He began to feel lightheaded. Tony’s attempts to get him to calm down were failed. Peter let the cold arms of unconsciousness take him.

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The first thing Peter noticed when he woke up was the soft bed that practically swallowed him. He looked around the room. He realized he was at Stark Tower. Everything came flooding back to him all at once.

Peter slid off the bed and walked out. He saw the Avengers lazing around the living room. Peter padded quietly to the couch and sat down in between Steve and Tony. “Hey, Kiddo. How are you feeling?” Tony asked. Peter frowned for a second.

“Better…?” It was more of a question. Peter didn’t look so sure.

“Are you asking me?” Tony joked before turning serious. “How are you really feeling?”

Peter shook his head, his eyes closed. The T.V. was the only sound in the room for a minute.

“Who wants breakfast?” Steve asked as he got up and walked to the kitchen. Peter took the option for a subject change as his stomach let out a long growl, signaling to everyone his firm answer. Peter let loose a small sad chuckle.

Soon the Avengers were sitting at the table. Steve had made pancakes. Peter didn’t know what, but something about the morning triggered a vivid flashback.

**Flashback**

“Hey Peter I made pancakes for breakfast this morning,” Aunt May said cheerily. She put a heaping plate of pancakes in front of Peter.

“Mmm, you know you didn’t have to May,” Peter said with a big smile on his face. “I love you, Aunt May,”

“Love you too Kiddo,”

**End of Flashback**

Peter dropped his fork on his plate and closed his eyes tightly. The last time he had pancakes...and then May had been killed. Trying to fight the oncoming panic. He loved May, his thoughts going to her was just too much for him to handle.

“-eter? Peter?” Everyone looked at him with concerned glances.

“I-I’m...I’m okay,” Peter managed to say through the lump in his throat. Peter closed his eyes for a second and calmed himself. Wiping the tears that escaped his eyes. “I’m okay. Everything’s fine Mr. Stark,” Peter rambled.

“Are you sure?” Tony asked looking at him, a disbelieving look on his face. Peter nodded, not trusting his voice.

They resumed eating, though Peter could still feel their concerned glances on him every now and then.

Peter knew they were all there for him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he was a burden to them. He knew he was a lot to take care of, constantly going against the rules and staying out too late.

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Peter laid on the giant bed with soft white covers. His room was on Tony’s floor. He had one arm strung across his eyes and the other laying limp by his side. He was taking deep calming breaths. He had just trained some with Steve, wanting to get his mind off of things. He and the Avengers had known each other for quite sometime before his aunt passed.

They were helping him with his fighting skills. Peter felt himself nod off as he laid on the cloud-like bed thinking about everything.

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“Peter” The dark haired teen looked around, instantly recognizing the voice.

“Uncle Ben??” Peter said. Ben appeared and he looked sad.

“How could you let this happen Peter?” he asked like it was his fault.

“I’m sorry Uncle Ben…,” Peter said.

“All your fault, I’m dead because of you!”

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“Peter!” Tony yelled, once again trying to get the teen to stop thrashing. Peter sat up quickly with a gasp. Tony’s hand was on the teen’s shoulder. His eyes were wide with concern. Peter breathed heavily not able to calm himself.

“Alright Pete, breathe with me. In….and out…..in….and out,” Tony said trying to help the teen calm down. Peter looked at Tony, eyes wide and struck with fear. Peter was still hyperventilating and sobbing at the same time. Peter took in a few long, shaky, forced breaths. He turned into Tony’s shoulder and cried. His shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. Tony wrapped his arms around Peter. “It’s alright kid, let it out. I got you,” He said softly.

About fifteen minutes later, Peter had finally calmed down. Tony had guided him to the common room and sat Peter on the couch.

Steve walked into the room, he had woken up to the sounds of someone up and walking about. The blond was a light sleeper. He sat down by Peter. “Hey Pete, couldn’t sleep?” He asked softly. Peter shook his head. Peter shook his head. Tony walked in with two mugs. He handed one of the steaming mugs to Peter and one to Steve and disappeared back into the kitchen. “Have a nightmare?”

“Yeah…” Peter’s voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

“Wanna talk about it?” Steve kept his voice soft.

“No.” Peter looked away from Steve just as Tony sat down on the other side of him. Peter took a sip from the steaming mug of hot chocolate. Tony looked at Peter with a look that screamed ‘I’m concerned what’s up?’

“If you want to talk, we’re here Pete,” Tony said.

Peter sniffed. “I know..,”

Soon the teen finished his hot chocolate. He found himself leaning against Steve’s shoulder, his eyelids closing. His breathing evened out and he fell asleep. Tony picked Peter up gently and carried him to his room, laying Peter on his bed. He left and shut the door softly. Once he walked back into the living room, Steve gave him a questioning glance.

“He had a hell of a nightmare,” Tony said as if knowing that Steve was about to ask. Tony plopped down on the couch next to Steve, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Kid’s gonna be the death of me one of these days,” Tony said.

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Peter woke up on his bed. He was confused as to how he got there before memories of last night came back to him.

“Oh no..” He muttered softly, getting out of bed. ‘I lost it in front of Mr. Stark…’ He thought to himself.

‘That’s right. You’re weak! Stupid! Worthless! They don’t need you!’ The voice inside Peter’s head screamed. Peter padded into the Avengers common area and sat on the couch next to Clint.

“Have enough sleep Spider-Baby?” Clint asked in a joking tone. “It’s almost 11 o’clock,”

Peter frowned almost immediately. “I didn’t mean to sleep so late..,” He said his tone almost sad.

“Woah, I was just kidding.” Clint patted Peter’s head as Steve walked in, a spatula in hand.

“Leave him alone Clint. He had a rough night,” Steve said disappearing into the kitchen again. Natasha looked at Peter, noticing the dark bags under his eyes, noticing his pale skin.

Soon breakfast was done. It was a Saturday and everyone was lazing around, hanging out. There wasn’t much to do. Peter found himself forgetting the events of the previous night listening to Clint and Nat argue about silly things. Peter, Tony, and Bruce talked about going to the lab later to fool around.

In the lab

Peter and Tony were working on upgrading Peter’s suit and making more web fluid for Peter.
They had the music on. Tony was singing along and Peter kept turning it down. For the first time in forever, Peter forgot about his pain and sadness.

Later that night

“Peter, how dare you forget about us? Happy with Mr. Stark and the Avengers. You wanted us to die so you could live your life in happiness huh?” Came the cold voice of Aunt May.

“N-No that’s...That’s not true! I think about you guys every day! I miss you guys!” Peter argued.

“You’re happier with Mr. Stark...guess you didn’t really love us. I bet when he gets tired of you he’ll kick you out, Then you’ll have no one. Those Avengers don’t really care for you! You’re just a burden to them,”

Peter woke up in a cold sweat. His breathing accelerated and his heart rate through the roof.

“Peter, you show signs of distress. Shall I contact Mr. Stark?” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’S voice rang out.

“N-No...No don’t. I’m okay,” Peter said. The teen walked into the bathroom. He found one of his razors and placed the cool metal onto his skin. ‘Worthless! No one wants you. You’re a burden and that’s all you’ll ever be!’ Peter pressed harder and dragged the razor blade up his arm. He started to shake, watching as blood gushed out of his wrist. He grabbed the razor with his other hand almost getting it to his skin before the door was ripped off the wall. There stood two very panicked and frantic superheroes.

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Tony and Steve were sitting in the living room when the voice of Friday suddenly rang out.

“Sir, Peter is in distress and taking in some pretty dangerous tasks,” She sounded mildly alarmed. Steve looked at Tony, they both shared the same look. When they burst their way into the locked bathroom they saw Peter on the floor, shaking like a leaf. Blood on his arm, the floor, everywhere and a razor in his hands.

“Jesus Kid!” Tony yelled as he rushed to the teen’s side pressing tightly on his wrist. “Fri, call bruce NOW!” Tony yelled. “How long has he been here!?” Tony asked his voice rising with panic.

“Already done Sir. Dr. Banner is on his way. Peter has been there for almost two minutes sir,” The AI responded. That only made Tony curse more. Steve moved out of the way of Bruce as he frantically rushed in. The blond superhuman didn’t even bother to tell them to watch their language. He was thinking the same thing.

“What do- Shit!” Bruce cursed as he walked into the bathroom. “Shit! Tony keep pressure on that I have to get my bag,” Peter stayed mostly silent throughout the whole ordeal, only letting a few whimpers and sobs escape his lips as Tony pressed down on his wrist. “Peter, I’m gonna need you to stay awake for me,” Bruce said hustling in taking note how the teen kept closing his eyes. Bruce handed Tony a bandage. “Wrap it tightly but not too tight,” Bruce instructed. I’ll have to wait till we get him to the med bay to stitch it up,”

Peter once again started closing his eyes. “Pete, stay awake.” Bruce took a hold of his non-damaged wrist. Taking note of the quick but weak pulse. “Dammit. He’s going into hypovolemic shock. He’s losing too much blood. Peter I know it’s hard but you need to stay with me,” Bruce said. Steve picked Peter up as they rushed him to the medbay.

“M’ Star’ ‘m s-sorr’y.” Peter’s words were slurred as he spoke. The teen had tears streaming down his face, his breathing slow. His heart rate erratic. Peter’s eyes fell shut as he lost his battle of consciousness.

Chapter Text

Peter
The first thing that returned to my awareness was sound. A constant soft beeping sound. Quiet breathing from whoever else was with me. I groaned softly as I moved my arms. I didn’t want to be awake. I wanted to be with May and Ben. I felt something tickling my nose I moved my arm that wasn’t sore to move it. My hand was swatted away. “Peter don’t touch that.”

‘Tony’ I thought. I guess I must have said it out loud because the next response I got was.

“Yeah, Pete. It’s me,” I could hear the concern in his voice, the hurt and slight anger that lingered. I opened my eyes only to shut them as soon as I got them open. The light was too bright. I groaned once more in discomfort.

“Fri, dim the lights,” Tony said. I opened my eyes. Slower this time and looked at Tony. He looked relieved, sad, hurt, a bit angry. I wanted to close them again, I didn’t want to see the disappointment, the anger, the pain. I felt my lip tremble, my vision blurry with the threat of unshed tears.

“Tony…” I started softly. “I..I’m...sorry…” I mumbled.

“Oh, Peter…” Tony exclaimed softly. “I should have realized how bad you were hurting,”
“We all should have,” came another voice. I looked to the door and Steve stood there. I looked back at Tony. He looked like he was about to cry. Bruce walked in at that moment. He walked over to me, not saying a word. He looked troubled.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn’t get to. “Peter if you ever scare us like that again, so help you, god. You managed to tear your ulnar artery. For a while, we thought you weren’t gonna make it.” He said as he picked up my unharmed wrist.

I couldn’t help but feel even more guilty. I opened my mouth to say I was sorry again but all that came out was a strangled sob.

“Don’t cry, Pete. Please don’t cry,” Tony said. I closed my eyes once again. Not wanting to see the disappointment that I could feel in the air.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry..” I muttered like a mantra once I found my words. I couldn’t stop. No matter how hard I tried. I felt strong arms wrap around me as I was pushed against a hard chest. My arms were being held down, but I didn’t feel trapped. I felt safe.

“Shh Pete. It’s okay. It’s okay.” I heard the low rumble in his chest as Tony spoke. I could finally breathe again. I slumped against Tony letting my head rest on his chest. Listening to the steady, strong thump of his heartbeat. I soon found myself calming down. I let the arms of sleep take me into their grasp.

None
As Peter fell asleep against Tony’s chest, he looked to Steve and Bruce who both shared his worried look. Tony slowly and carefully laid the teen back on the bed.

“I’m worried about him,” Tony said softly.

“We all are,” Three heads snapped to the doorway. Clint, Natasha, Rhodey, hell even Sam were standing there.

“How is he?” Natasha asked her voice uncharastically soft.

“Physically, much better. His wrist is almost completely healed. Mentally...well that’s another story,” Bruce said. They all decided to take turns watching their little spider until he woke up.

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A groan emitted from the teen. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. A migraine forming in the back of his mind. He opened his eyes and looked around, noticing he was alone. His mind started coming up with reasons. He couldn’t remember the nightmare, but he knew that’s why he woke up.

‘They don’t want you here. They don’t care about you’

Peter let loose another sob. His chest kept getting tighter and tighter and he couldn’t breathe. Alarms started blaring loudly making him cover his ears. The lights were bright and he squeezed his eyes shut. The small migraine turning into a debilitating one. Someone walked in and yelled loudly. Peter let loose a mix between a sob and a scream.

“Friday, dim the lights. And for god’s sake turn that damn alarm off!” Sam, Tony, and Bruce rushed in. Bruce ran to Peter’s side. He spoke softly and quietly.

“Peter I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?” He asked. Peter still had his hands over his ears, eyes squeezed shut in the fetal position on the bed. His breathing and heart rate were way too fast for their liking.

“Make it stop, make it stop!” He begged, his voice soft and shaky. Soft whimpers made its way out of his mouth.

“It’s done Peter, open your eyes for me,” Bruce continued to speak softly.

Peter peaked open his eyes. He felt woozy and lightheaded. His head was pounding with each and every quick beat of his heart. He was hyperventilating.

“Peter I know it feels like you’re dying but I promise your not,” Sam’s spoke softly walking over to the panicked teen. “Come on take some deep slow breaths.” Sam looked at Peter and was sitting in front of him on the bed.

“I...Can’t...breathe!” The teen struggled to get the words out. “Leave...me...like...aunt...May,” That confused the three adults.

“Peter, we aren’t going anywhere,” Tony said. Peter let loose another soft cry. He couldn’t seem to get a good breath in. His vision began to blacken around the edges.

‘You do nothing but worry them! You are a worthless burden!’ There was that voice again. Peter’s eyes rolled up into the back of his head as he went limp, passing into the world of unconsciousness.

There was an unspoken agreement after that. There was to always be one person in the room.

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Peter woke up a migraine still at the back of his head. But he ignored it. He remembered how he lost it in front of Tony, Bruce, and Sam. He hated that. He hated looking weak. He looked around the room. Tony was working on something. Natasha was sleeping with her head on Clint’s shoulder. Steve was sitting in a chair his head in his hands. Sam was talking to Rhodey.

Bruce was the first to notice he was awake. “You with us Peter?” He asked softly. The lights were still dimmed. Peter nodded not trusting his voice. five eyes landed on him.

“You gave us quite a scare there kiddo,” Tony said.

“I’m-

“No, none of that. It isn’t your fault,” Tony interrupted. Peter took note of the tired look on their faces.

“Are you guys even sleeping?” Peter asked.

“Yes, Pete we are. Don’t worry about us,” Tony said. Peter frowned.

“You guys can go rest, I’ll be fine by myself,” Peter said. They didn’t miss the sad note in his voice.

“Peter-”

“I said I’m fine by myself!” Peter exclaimed uncharacteristically. Natasha, who was previously sleeping woke up, everyone was staring at Peter in shock. “I’m not a child! I don’t need your help!”

“Peter.” Tony’s harsh tone cut through the shock. “You are a child compared to the rest of us. You are hurting and we are here to help,”

Peter looked down, his chest heaved with a heavy sigh. Before he could speak Tony was saying something again. “Think about your next choice of words carefully,”

Peter continued to look down. “Why couldn’t you have just let me die..?” He asked. The utter horror on Tony’s face was missed by the teen as he refused to look up.

“I’m sorry, what?” Tony asked as if he didn’t hear Peter.

“You heard me,” Peter said finally looking up. There was an empty look in his eyes. He sniffed hard. His lip trembling as he fought back tears. Peter stared Tony down for a minute before looking away. Not able to stand the hurt in his mentor's eyes. “God I’m such a screw-up!”

“Peter. You are not a screw-up,” Steve said finally getting over the initial shock.

“Sometimes...it feels that way...I wish I’d never been born,” Any resolve Tony had, disappeared.

“Pete, you aren’t a screw-up. You don’t really wish that” Tony spoke softly.

“Yeah, Spider-baby. Stark is right,” Clint said. The other’s nodded in agreement.

Bruce, who was standing next to Peter, placed a hand on the teen’s shoulder. “You are anything but,”

Peter let a small, sad smile replace his big frown. “Thanks, guys..,” Peter said softly. He yawned.

“No need to thank us, Pete. You can rest now, we aren’t going anywhere.” Tony began weaving his fingers through the teen’s hair. Peter closed his eyes, comforted and lured to sleep by the small gesture.

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Peter got dressed in a suit Tony got him. He fiddled with the tie, his hands shaking too bad to tie it. “Friday...is Mr. Stark busy?”

“Not at the moment Peter. Would you like me to have him come here?” The AI asked.

“No...I’ll go to him,” Peter said softly, walking out of his room.

“Hey..Mr. Stark... can you um...I need help,” Peter said as he walked into the living area. He was still shaking like a leaf. His nerves getting the better of him.

“Yeah, bud, what do you need?” Tony hadn’t turned around yet. He seemed busy.

“I can’t um...tie a tie,” Peter said sheepishly. He was a guy, guys were supposed to know these things. Uncle Ben taught him, but he couldn’t remember how.

“Alright, I’ll help.” Tony finally turned to Peter, striding over to him. Once Peter was ready they headed to the funeral home. It was full of a bunch of May’s friends. They all kept apologizing to Peter. The teen soon found himself wanting to leave, but he ignored it.

When the funeral was finally ended Tony took Peter back to the compound. Peter went to his room and didn’t come out or make a sound.

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“Sir, Peter appears to be in distress,” The AI said. Tony made his way to Peter’s room as quickly as possible. The teen was thrashing around and screaming. Tears streaming down his face. Tony rushed over and grabbed Peter, holding him down and muttering comforting words.

“Come on Pete. Wake up. It’s okay, you’re safe,” Tony said quietly.

Finally, Peter calmed down. Falling back into a peaceful sleep. Steve walked in quietly, giving Tony a questioning glance.

“Nightmare. We’ll let him sleep until dinner.” Tony attempted to move so he could go to the lab and work on some things, but Peter whimpered.

“I’ll let you know when food is ready,” Steve said quietly walking out of the room. Tony made himself more comfortable with Peter in his arms. Tony soon found himself drifting off.

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Peter
I woke up feeling more warm than usual. I opened my eyes to find myself laying on top of Tony.
I was too comfortable to care, curling myself closer. “Comfortable?” Tony’s voice reached my ears.

“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled still tired.

“Mr. Rodgers has asked me to let you know food is ready.” I was startled for a second before realizing it was Friday.

“Thanks, Fri. Come on Pete,” Tony said. I followed him even though I wasn’t hungry. I picked around my food, only taking actual bites when someone looked at me.

“Hey, Pete, how do you feel about going back to school come Monday? I just don’t wanna push too hard,” Tony asked. I feigned excitement.

“Yeah! I’ve missed so much already I’m dying to go back,” I said. It was Saturday night. After dinner, we all sat down to watch a movie.

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None
It was finally Monday. Peter slid out of bed and got ready for school. He skipped breakfast and Happy drove him to school. The second he walked in, everyone started giving him looks of pity. MJ and Ned helped him out.

Lunch finally came around. Peter didn’t have anything then either. By the end of the day, Peter was starting to feel more fatigued than usual. Peter stood by his locker, talking to Ned when Flash decided to walk over.

“Hey, Penis Parker.” Flash was walking over to them.

“Leave me alone Flash,” Peter spoke through his teeth. “I’m not in the mood,”

“Hey, I heard about your aunt. I’m sorry about her. Sorry that she died instead of you,” Flash said with a laugh.

“Flash leave him alone,” Ned said.

“I bet that you are happy that she’s gone,” Flash said. His followers laughed.

“I am not,” Peter said his voice wavering.

“Oh is Punny Parker about to cry?” Flash said pushing Peter into the lockers. Peter hit his head. Hard. He recovered quickly from the impact. Before Peter knew what he was doing, his fist met Flash’s face.

Peter found himself sitting in the principal’s office. Waiting for Tony to come. Peter sat in the chair, his head in his hands when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The principal walked out of his office.

“I swear he just punched me for no reason!” Flash yelled behind him.

“As you know Mr. Parker, we do not take well for students punching other students,”

“I know sir. I wouldn’t have punched him if he’d leave me alone,” Peter spat. He hadn’t meant to snap at the principal, but he was extremely tired and had a headache that wouldn’t go away.

“Well, you are suspended for two days. Flash you will be suspended for a week,”

As soon as everything was over, Tony guided Peter out. “Pete, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Peter continued on to the car.

“Really, because you punched your classmate for no reason whatsoever. Mm-hmm try again,”

Peter sighed in defeat. “He said that I was happy that May’s gone…,” Peter said quietly. Tony was fuming. “He doesn’t know when to stop. He said that he was sorry that she died instead of me.” Peter threw his hands up. “Maybe he’s right,”
“No Peter. Don’t you dare say that,” Tony said. His tone took a harsh note. They had finally gotten Peter to a good mental state and one day at school shattered all of it.

Tony and Peter were still arguing when they walked into the compound. Steve threw them a questioning glance. “Peter stop saying that.”

“But it’s true,” Peter said. He was looking down at his feet and ended up running into Tony, who stopped abruptly.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, you know full fucking well that, that is not true.” Tony gave Steve a look as if too dark him to say something about his choice of language.

Peter didn’t say anything. He just stormed up to his room. Once Peter was out of earshot, Tony started talking. “Fri, let me know if Peter leaves or anything. He is not allowed to even think about leaving the building.” The AI responded with a quick ‘yes sir’.

“What happened?” Steve asked giving Tony a quizzical look.

“Peter punched someone at school. This kid, Flash I think his name was, decided to basically tell Peter that he’d be better off dead.” Tony’s face was red with anger. “So now we have an emotionally unstable teen on our hands, even AFTER all the work we put in to help him,”

Steve looked angry as well. Tony went to the lab to talk to Bruce and Steve made his way to Peter’s room. He knocked on the door. He was met with a muffled “Go away.”

“Come on Pete, let me in,”

There was shuffling and then the door opened. “Cap…?”

“Yeah, can I come in?” The door opened wider and Peter shuffled back to his bed, crawling back under the covers. “Wanna talk about it?” Steve asked. He kept his tone soft and welcoming.

“There’s nothing to tell.” Peter stared up at the ceiling. Steve sighed softly, sitting on the edge of Peter’s bed.

“Tony told me what that kid said.”

“He’s just a stupid bully. It’s not a big deal..,” Peter felt his eyes well up with tears.

“It seems like it is. Talk to me, Peter. Maybe I can even ask Sam to come in here if you want. He’s good at listening. And it will make you feel a little better.” Peter stayed silent, seemingly contemplating his options.

“Will it really help?” Peter asked sitting up to look at Steve, his big brown eyes glossy with unfallen tears.

“I’m sure it will Peter. Let me go ask him.”

Steve came back a little while later, Sam behind him. Steve had already explained to Sam what happened. Sam was more than willing to help. He may not have been buddy buddy with the kid, but he had grown ever so fond of him as time passed.

“I’ll leave you two alone. I gotta go make supper.” With that Steve left. The door clicked softly as he shut it.

“So I heard that you are not doing so well,” Sam started the conversation.

“I guess not…,” Peter said. He was hesitant talking to Sam because he didn’t know him all too well. But soon Peter found it very easy to talk to Sam. They talked for a while, then headed to the living room.

They were watching a movie waiting for dinner when the Alarm went off. His eyes blew wide and he covered his ears, enhanced hearing making it hit around his skull like a sledgehammer. There was muffled yelling and frantic movement. Peter was beginning to feel dizzy. He remembered he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Then nothing but blackness.

When Peter finally came to he heard broken sentences. “...turn...alarm off!” Tony’s voice cut through the haze as the blaring alarm shut off. Peter’s throat was sore and it didn’t take him long to realize he’d been screaming. His cries now small hiccuping sobs. His head was on someone’s lap and someone pressing a hand to his forehead.

“Peter are you with us now?” Bruce asked. Peter blinked as his vision focused and nodded. Wrong move. His head began spinning again.

With the help of Tony, Peter sat up. He was still shaking like a leaf. He felt fingers on his wrist, taking his pulse.

“Peter, have you eaten anything today?” Bruce inquired. Peter looked away from their gazes.

“....No…”

“Peter, you know that with your enhanced metabolism that can be dangerous,”

“Yes, I know...I just haven’t felt like it,” Peter said. He realized that didn’t help matters. There was an exasperated sigh and Peter let himself be guided to his feet.

“Come on let’s get some food in you,” Tony said. Peter gave a small frown but complied.

As they all sat down to eat, they made light conversation. Avoiding the topic of Peter and all he’s been through. Peter went to bed that night. He laid awake, looking at the ceiling. He had an onslaught of emotions that were unwelcome but present. Talking with Sam had helped a little, but not enough. The pain was still there, burning hot as ever. As Peter drifted to sleep, he was plagued with nightmares.

Peter awoke in a cold sweat. Hi heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. Peter shuffled out of bed and into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He took a glass out of the cupboard and began filling it with water. Still hazy with sleep, he didn’t hear the footsteps of Sam as he walked into the kitchen. Peter turned around getting ready to take a drink.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sam asked. Even though he was quiet it still startled the teen who dropped the glass on the floor. It shattered. “Damn. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Sam said as he rushed over the counter to help the teen clean up.

“It-It’s okay S...Sam.” Peter picked up a rather sharp piece of glass and ended up cutting his hand.

“Shit! Steve is going to kill me. Tony is going to kill me,” Sam muttered as he grabbed a towel from the cabinet. Peter took a shard of glass and put it in his pocket. When he’d tried to commit suicide, Tony and Bruce had taken away all sharp objects.

“What’s all that noi- What the hell happened?” Tony asked. He and Bruce who were working in the lab when they heard a crash.

“I accidentally startled Peter and he dropped a glass. He cut his hand trying to clean it up,” Sam said. He was still pressing the towel to Peter’s hand.

“It’s okay Mr. Stark.” Peter looked up noticing Tony’s ‘I’m about to murder you’ face. “Just an accident,”

“Let me look at it,” Bruce said pushing his way through. Bruce looked at Peter’s hand which by now had stopped bleeding and muttered a few things. “It’ll be healed within the hour. Be careful next time,” he said to Peter.

“I will...I’m sorry,” Peter said.

“Sorry? Why?” Tony asked.

“Because I broke your glass,” Peter said sincerely.

‘God this kid’ Tony thought. “Don’t worry about that Peter,”

“Let’s get your hand bandaged and get you back to bed,” Bruce said softly. Peter merely nodded and followed Bruce to his room.

Bruce walked back into Peter’s room with a bandage and some peroxide so it wouldn’t get infected. The cut wasn’t big enough to be stitched but was too big for a regular bandaid so Bruce wrapped a long bandage around it.

“Good night Peter,” Tony said.

“G’night Tony,” Peter mumbled sleepily. Tony’s face lit up. Peter had always called him Mr. Stark, even when he’d said to call him Tony.

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Chapter Text

Peter awoke feeling much better than he had in a while. It was his last day of suspension. He found it weird that no one was upset he got into a fight on his first day back. Peter mainly lazed around all day, doing some of his homework that piled up.

Peter walked into the bathroom and turned the water on. He grabbed the piece of glass he hid. He undressed and got into the shower. First washing his hair. He picked up the piece of glass and pressed it to his pale skin. He dragged it lightly across his skin, watching as bubbles of crimson started to pop up.

One for letting Flash get to you. Two for punching him. Three for lying to Tony and everyone. One for being stupid. One for being helpless.

By the time Peter was done he watched as red and clear swirled down the drain. He turned the water off, his cuts already healing. Peter wrapped a bandage around his arm. He dried off and put pajamas on. Then he threw on a black hoodie to cover his arms. Peter flopped into his bed and curled up. Soon he was asleep.

“Peter wake uppppp!” Tony whined jokingly at the teenager. “It’s time for school!!”

“Five more minutes!” Peter groaned turning over and putting the pillow over his head.

“No Peter, time for school.” Tony ripped the covers off the teen and threw them to the floor. “Up up up! Don’t make me get Cap,” Tony said.

“Fine I’m up, I’m up,” Peter said throwing the pillow off his head. Tony left the room and Peter got dressed for school. Then he slipped his hoodie back on and headed to the kitchen to grab a granola bar for breakfast. Then Happy drove him to school.

Peter was given dirty looks all the way to class by Flash’s followers. He tried his best to ignore them. In the locker room just after gym class, Peter found himself feeling more and more angry.

“Hey, Penis Parker!” One of Flash’s friends yelled, pushing him into the lockers. “We are going to teach you a lesson. I think you need to learn your place,”

“If you don’t leave me alone-”

“What? You’ll do what? Beat me up?”

“N-no.” Peter cursed himself mentally for stuttering. Peter winced in pain as Mcfarlane grabbed his injured arm roughly.

“This oughta teach you.” Mcfarlane punched Peter, knocking him to the ground. “Why don’t you just do the world a favor and kill yourself,” He spat.

“I already tried.” Peter got up from the floor and walked away.

Peter kept thinking about what Mcfarlane had said. He tried once and failed. Maybe….just maybe if he tried again...he could succeed. Then everyone would be happier…

‘Stop thinking like that Peter!’ He thought to himself. ‘You know how Tony and Bruce, and the rest of them would feel. They’d be devastated.’ Peter told himself. But Peter still couldn’t rid himself of his thoughts.

Peter shook his head and walked to the car. Happy drove them both to the compound.

“Hey Pete, wanna watch a movie?” Tony asked.

“I’ve got homework, Mr. Stark,” Peter said rather harshly. He wasn’t in a good mood. He wanted to avoid confrontation. He wanted to avoid telling them his thoughts. Peter sat at his desk working on his homework...or more like writing stuff down on paper. It wasn’t until Peter’s hand started cramping that he realized that he’d just written everything he was feeling down on his notebook.

I want to die. Why? Because I have no family left...unless you count the Avengers...but still. Flash Thompson is a douchebag. I can’t believe he said that about Aunt May. I thought about what Mcfarlane said in the locker room earlier. I can’t help but feel as though he’s right...I mean...they are constantly worrying about me and I can’t help but feel like I’m keeping them from their job. I don’t understand why or how my mind could come up with all of these scenarios. Aunt May and Uncle Ben hating me...Tony leaving me. Maybe my mind was warning me. Maybe Aunt May and Uncle Ben did hate me. Maybe Tony is going to leave me. What if-

Peter stopped writing. His mind was already finishing the sentence. Peter breathed a heavy sigh and walked into the bathroom again. The cuts on his arm he made the previous night were already healed. He went over them again. Letting all the pain from his arm make him forget his emotional pain, even if only temporary. Peter bandaged up his arm once again and flopped on his bed.

Peter awoke abruptly to the door almost slamming into the wall and Clint’s obnoxiously loud voice yelling, “Food’s ready Spider-baby! Wakey wakey!” Clint jumped on top of Peter’s bed.

“Go ‘way. ‘M sleepin’, ” Peter mumbled. His words slurred with sleep.

“Nope! Bruce says you need to eat more! Wake up! Or else…,” Clint’s tone was sadistically demanding as he held a Cheshire-like grin on his face.

“Or else what?” Peter asked letting all his irritation seep into the words.

“This.” Clint started his relentless attack on Peter’s ribs. Peter, not being able to hold it in, laughed uncontrollably.

“Okay...I...surren...der!” Peter yelled through laughter. Clint stopped his attack on Peter’s wrist and tousled his hair.

“Come on kid. Let’s head to dinner before Cap and Tones kill us both.”

Peter nodded his head and walked beside Clint to the kitchen. Everyone else was already sitting down. No one brought up Peter’s bad mood earlier, which the teen was thankful for.

“So Pete, how was school?” Tony asked. ‘Welp there goes my good mood’ Peter thought to himself.

“School was good,” Peter lied, shoving a bite of chicken into his mouth.

“That’s good,” Tony responded. Peter was glad he didn’t say anything if he caught the lie.

“Peter why are you wearing that hoodie, it’s like one-hundred degrees,” Nat commented. Peter instantly paled.

“Because I’m cold.” Peter’s tone was harsh.

“Are you sick?” Bruce asked, letting his concerned side slip through. He reached to the side of him and put the back of his hand on Peter’s forehead. “You don’t feel feverish,”

“Peter…” Tony started cautiously. “Is there something you aren’t telling us?”

“No. I’m just cold, okay? Everything is fine,” Peter said. In that moment Peter wished he could just disappear. All eyes were on him. None of them looked as though they believed Peter.

“Would you tell us if something was wrong?” Bruce asked.

“Y-yes..,” Peter stuttered. Now he really wished he could disappear. No one spoke for a good five minutes. No one moved. Peter wasn’t usually one to stutter, even if he was nervous he didn’t stutter.

“Peter.” Tony warned.

“I’m fine okay!” Peter yelled. He got up so fast the chair toppled over. Peter picked up the chair and placed it softly back in its spot. “I’m going to bed..,” He said more softly before leaving. No one made a move. They were stunned into silence. Peter never yelled at anyone. Unless it was an enemy.

Peter headed to his room, but he did not go to bed. Instead, he put on his suit. “Friday open the window.”

“I cannot do that Peter. Boss has told me to keep you from leaving the building without permission.” Friday’s voice rang through his quiet room.

“Friday. Please,” Peter begged. His tone was desperate. The AI gave what sounded to be an exasperated sigh before the window opened. It had been a while since Peter had been on patrol.

Peter perched on top of a building, scouring for any sign of trouble. New York was still that night. Peter swung back to the tower, it was late and he had school in the morning. He felt oh so very tired. When Peter finally returned, Tony was waiting, sitting on his bed.

“Why’d you leave without telling anyone!? Do you know how worried we’ve been, how worried I’ve been?!” Tony was yelling. Not a good sign. Peter looked down at the floor.

“I just went out on patrol. I thought getting back into my schedule would help me feel better.”

Tony sighed. “But you didn’t think to tell anyone you were leaving? Do you understand the gravity of this situation Peter? Because it’s obvious you don’t understand!”

“But I DO understand! I’m seventeen years old Mr. Stark! I’m not a child.” Peter still stood, but now he was looking at Tony with burning rage.

“God fucking dammit Peter. If Friday hadn’t said something about you going on patrol I was about ready to tear up New York to look for you!” Tony was upset, that much was clear. Peter just didn’t understand why.

“I’m sorry, Okay?” Peter said he wanted to get out of this conversation. He was beginning to feel restless and like he couldn’t breathe. He knew he’d screwed up now. His mind kept coming up with scenarios, all of which ended up with him on the streets. Peter looked at the floor, all anger and frustration disappearing. The fire in his eyes dimmed and he felt like he was going to cry. He felt like he’d done nothing but disappoint Tony since the two of them met. And especially after May died.

Soon Tony was right in front of him. The angry look replaced by one of concern. Tony gave a heavy sigh. “Peter...just next time let someone know...please?” Tony pleaded, tilting Peter’s chin so that the teen was looking at him. Peter nodded, not able to talk. “Get some rest, Pete.”

Peter did just the opposite. He couldn’t stop thinking about how big of a disappointment he was. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Tony’s disappointed, angry, worried face. It was etched into his mind forever. Peter grabbed out his journal. Sam had told him keeping track of his moods and feelings would help him in the long run. Peter grabbed a pen and began writing words, all his negative feelings were being spilled on the paper.

Disappointment, Failure, Stupid, Bother, Inconvenience, Annoying, Weak.

He stopped there. Tears plopping onto the paper. Peter closed the journal and closed his eyes. Off to sleep, he went.

Peter woke up to his alarm blaring in his ears. He groaned and hit the snooze button. Then quite literally rolled off his bed. Groaning as he hit the floor with a thud, Peter made a mental note never to roll off his bed again. He began getting dressed for school. Peter slowly made his way into the kitchen, as he was hoping, no one was there. He skipped breakfast, even with Bruce’s warning of ‘even one skipped meal can be dangerous for you’. Peter met Happy at the car. Tony was busy with an important phone call so he couldn’t take Peter to school. Peter threw his stuff in the front seat and slid into the car. Peter and Happy sat in silence the entire way to Peter’s school. They might not have gotten along very well all the time, but Happy couldn’t help but miss the teen’s incessant chattering.

Once they arrived at Peter’s school, Happy muttered a soft ‘bye’ as Peter got out of the car. The teen headed into the school. Nothing happened the second he walked in. Peter got through two classes before he noticed Flash was back. He attempted to walk past them without their knowledge but failed miserably. Flash was quick to stick his foot out and trip Peter.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Penis Parker.” Flash looked at Peter with a foul glare. Peter got up and faced Flash.

“Leave me alone Flash. I’m really not in the mood for you,” Peter spat with hatred. Then he turned away and began walking...only to be grabbed by the collar of his shirt and thrown down to the ground. Peter wished someone was there to help him, but he didn’t yell.

“No one wants you here Parker. Why don’t you get the hell lost or something? Decathlon doesn’t need you. This school doesn’t need you. No one needs you, so get off your worthless ass and leave.”

Everyone was already in the lunch room. Flash and his goons started kicking Peter as he lay helplessly on the ground. They kicked his head, ribs, and stomach. When they finally decided that Peter had enough they laughed at him as they walked away, leaving Peter on the floor crying softly.

Peter finally found the strength to get up and he made his way to the bathroom to asses the damage inflicted by Flash and his goons. He was already starting to get bruises on his face and arms. Peter’s head was pounding harshly. He lifted his shirt and carefully prodded around his ribs with his finger, hissing at every touch. His nose was starting to bleed. He decided it best to call Tony. He walked to the nurse’s office, she looked at him with sympathy as he called Tony.

“What kid? I’m in the middle of a meeting.”

Tony did sound pretty busy. “Oh.” Peter didn’t even bother hiding his disappointment. “I’ll just...I’m sorry Mr. Stark...I didn’t think..,”

Tony’s tone switched instantly. “What’s wrong Pete?”

“N-nothing Mr. Stark,” Peter said. “I’ll leave you alone now.” Peter hung up before Tony could say anything more. “Can I just stay in here until school ends?” Peter asked.

“Of course dear. I’ll email your teachers and let them know,” She said with a kind smile. And that’s where Peter spent the rest of the day. As soon as the bell rang Peter grabbed his bag and walked out of the school. He saw Happy and made a beeline for the car.

“Are you okay kid?” Happy asked, letting deep concern slip into his usual flat tone.

“Y-yes,” Peter stuttered. He knew it didn’t sound convincing. To say that Peter was a little disappointed that Tony didn’t pick him up today was an understatement.

Once they arrived at the compound, Peter made his way to the training room. He, Steve and Bucky had been training for a while. They were picking it back up today. Peter met Steve and Bucky in the gym.

“Hey Pete, how was school?” Steve asked as Peter walked in. Peter paled slightly.

“School was good!” He said enthusiastically trying not to let slip of what happened. “Do you know why Mr. Stark didn’t pick me up today? He said he was going to…,” Peter asked.
“Tony got called into an Emergency meeting at S.H.I.E.L.D,” Steve said.

“Peter are you sure you’re okay?” Bucky asked uncharacteristically concerned.

“Yeah. Just got into a one-sided battle.” When Peter realized he said too much it was already too late.

“With who!?” Steve asked, getting the just of what Peter was saying.

Peter looked alarmed for a split second. “It doesn’t matter,” He said to Steve. “Can we just get on with training?”

Steve finally gave in, knowing that the teen wasn’t going to tell him anything. They trained for a little while...until Peter gave a loud cry of pain when he was hit in the ribs a little too hard by Bucky.

“Jesus kid. I didn’t even hit you that hard,” Bucky joking manner hid his deep concern.

“I think we’re done here for the night. Peter, as soon as you get cleaned up I want you to sit down and tell us exactly what happened.” Steve’s tone left no room for argument.

That’s how Peter found himself once again in the presence of all the Avengers. Tony and Sam sat beside Peter and everyone else was strung out along all the furniture in the room.

“-and that’s what happened. But I’m okay. Everything’s fine,” Peter finished. He felt everyone’s eyes on him. Tony looked horrified.

“Peter I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up earlier!” Tony said.

“It’s okay Mr. Stark. You were busy, I get it.”

“That doesn’t-” Tony didn’t get to finish.

“Really. It’s okay,” Peter said softly. He couldn’t help it as a deep feeling of sadness pooled in his stomach. ‘I know you have better things to worry about than me anyway’ Peter mentally added.

Tony sighed. Natasha and Clint looked like they were about ready to kill someone. Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Bruce had a grim look on their face.

“Peter let me take a look at you to make sure they didn’t break anything,” Bruce said. Peter nodded, giving permission. The teen was soon laying down on the couch, Bruce was gently pressing his fingers over Peter’s ribs. Peter winced only slightly until Bruce pressed upon a rather sore spot. It hurt enough to bring tears to Peter’s eyes and cause him to whimper softly.
“They aren’t broken, but they are bruised. I recommend not doing much for the next couple days,” Bruce said. ‘Good thing today was Friday…’ Peter thought to himself.

“Which means no patrolling,” Tony piped up. Peter groaned, partly out of pain and partly out of dismay. “How about some Chinese for dinner?”

“Sounds good,” Nat and Clint said at the same time. Peter merely hummed in agreement, letting his head fall against Sam’s shoulder giving a big adorable yawn.

“Sleepy Spider-baby?” Clint asked using the nickname he’d ever so graciously given Peter. Sam Merely smiled, letting his softer side come through.

“Looks like it,” Sam said.

Peter stayed there for a minute, then as if a jolt of electricity shot through him he moved off of Sam’s shoulder. That feeling was back. The one of deep hopelessness. Peter thought back to what Flash had said. He left that part out of the explanation. He didn’t want to be more of a worthless burden than he already was.

Before anyone could ask questions, Peter got up and walked to his room without a sound.

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“Someone should go check on him,” Clint said.

“I’ll-” Tony started but was cut off by Sam.

“I’ll go. I needed to talk to him anyway,” Sam said. Tony didn’t object. He knew Sam could help more than himself.

For the first time in forever, the entire compound was enveloped in silence.

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Peter was sitting, writing in his journal when there came a knock at the door. He muttered a soft ‘come in’ and continued writing every word that described how he was feeling.

Worthless. Useless. Stupid. Weak.

The list goes on and on for Peter. It seemed as if he was never going to have anything other than negative things to say about himself.

“Hey, Peter. I just wanted to talk to you, see how you’re doing. You seemed pretty upset when you left.” Sam didn’t say anything more. He wanted Peter to choose if he wanted to talk.

“I remembered I had homework due,” Peter said trying to cover for himself.

“It’s Friday Peter. You have two days to do it.” Sam then changed the conversation. “Whatcha writing?”

“Just...stuff,” was all Peter said. Sam looked mildly curious.

“Is it helping?” Sam asked.

“A little…,” Peter said. He looked as if he was contemplating whether to say more or not. “Do you ever just feel like…” Peter started.

“Feel like what Peter?” Sam asked gently.

“Feel like you can’t do anything right...like everything you do is a mistake…?” Peter was hesitant to say it.

“All the time Pete,” Sam said. “When missions don’t go as planned and someone gets hurt or even killed...we all have that feeling every once in a while.”

Peter found it way to easy to talk to Sam...but he found the more he said, the more weight lifted off his chest. Peter showed Sam his journal. He told Sam about everything he’d been feeling for the past couple days. “Yeah...but...I feel that way all day, every day,” Peter said looking at his hands. “Everyone keeps telling me that May’s death wasn’t my fault...but if I wasn’t out patrolling and being reckless...maybe I could have saved her...I don’t understand why I feel this way, Sam!” Peter was getting more and more frustrated with his feelings as he spoke. His breathing was quickening.

“I know Peter. Believe me, I do. I know this isn’t what you wanna hear right now, but it is not your fault. Do you understand?” Sam said. He looked Peter in the eye. The teen’s eyes were filled with an emotion he hid so well from the others. Pain, sadness, fear. It was awful to see in his comrade's eyes, let alone a teenager's. Peter was working himself up far too quickly, Sam knew that he needed to calm the teen down.
“I can’t breathe Sam,” Peter spoke through choked gasps.

“Count to a hundred with me. 1, 2, 3…” Sam started slowly. The teen soon joined in, fresh tears streaming down his face. Sam had his hands gently albeit firmly on Peter’s shoulders.

Sam and Peter did this for a while. It took Peter until 85 to calm down. “There we go,” Sam said softly.

Peter felt the sudden need to apologize for making such a fuss. “I’m sorry..,”

Sam was taken aback. “Why are you apologizing for?”

“I- just- because I’m always freaking out, and I’m sure you have better things to do…” Peter said quietly. Sam looked at Peter. Pure concern and sadness in his eyes.

“Peter, I’m doing this because I want to help you. Not because you are forcing me. You have these moments, they aren’t your fault. Peter, we’ve been through this.”

“I know but-”

“No buts Peter. That’s that. Now, why don’t we head to the kitchen to get some food? I’m sure everyone is already eating,” Sam joked. Peter gave a soft sad smile.

“Probably,” Peter said with a laugh.

To their surprise, no one had even sat down to eat yet. They claimed to be waiting for their little spider, and falcon of course. Everyone sat down at the table. Peter laughed and joked with them as if nothing happened. But...that’s what he needed most. He needed to be happy. Sam sat thinking about what Peter showed him.

“Sammy, you okay?” Clint asked. Sam shook his head at the ridiculous nickname.

“Yeah, Legolas. I’m fine. Just thinking,” Sam said with a smile. Clint glared at him halfheartedly. Peter smiled at their antics. He came to realize...the Avengers weren’t just superheroes. They were a family and Peter was apart of that family.

Chapter Text

That after dinner Peter sat at his desk. Writing in his notebook. Everyone had probably gone to bed by then.

*Once I got home from school today, I felt a little better. The Avengers are helping a lot. Sam says I’m certainly doing better than I have. I want to feel good, not bad...but that’s hard to do with Flash on your back all the time. I keep thinking about what he said. ‘No one wants you here Parker. Why don’t you get the hell lost or something? Decathlon doesn’t need you. This school doesn’t need you. No one needs you, so get off your worthless ass and leave’. That’s exactly what he said.*

‘I still don’t know. Why don’t I? Why don’t I just leave? Why can’t I just be normal?
Why am I still here?’ Peter thought to himself. “Why can’t I just be normal?!” Peter yelled as he grabbed his notebook and threw it at the wall and watched as it fell to the floor. His vision was blurry with tears.

“Peter would you like me to contact Mr. Stark?” Friday’s voice rang out. Peter sat back down on his desk chair and shook his head.

“No. He’s probably busy. He shouldn’t have to worry about me,” Peter said. His bout of anger was gone, leaving him feeling hollow inside.

“I can have Mr. Wilson or Mr. Rodgers come up in place.”

“No Friday. I’m fine.”

Peter got out of his chair and put on some pajamas. Then he crawled into bed. “Light’s out Friday,” Peter said quietly. Then he let himself fall into a restless sleep.

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Peter woke up to find himself not in his room, nor even in the Stark Tower. Everywhere around him was blacker than night. He heard voices.

“Peter…” They sounded like soft, sad whispers. But it was coming from every direction, successfully confusing Peter.

“Peter...how could you…? Why are you happy when you left us to die?” It was Uncle Ben. “I thought you loved us…”

“You don’t under-”

“We do. You’d rather be with Mr. Stark...happy and rich...you must be so happy…” Aunt May’s voice cut Peter off.
“Not true…” Peter whined softly. That feeling was back, more forceful than ever. “Not true…” Peter kept mumbling over and over again. The voices were growing louder until Peter was running as fast as he could, trying to get away.

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Peter was not happy when he woke up. He grabbed his blanket and sneaked into Tony’s room. He noticed that Tony was asleep for once. The teen laid down in front of Tony’s bed, falling asleep once more. This time, much more peaceful.

Tony tripped over the sleeping teen when he got up that morning. He was upset for a second, then his anger faded when he saw how Peter was. Curled up almost in the fetal position, light snores coming from his slightly open mouth. Tony lifted the teen up without waking him and put Peter in his own bed. Then he left his room, shutting the door softly behind him and walked into the kitchen. Tony poured himself a cup of coffee and headed to his lab where he spent most of his days.

When Peter woke up for the second time he was utterly confused. This wasn’t his bedroom. This wasn’t his bed. “Fri..?” Peter asked to the quiet room.

“Yes, Peter?” The AI responded.

“Whose room am I in…?”

“You’re in Boss’ room, Peter.”

Peter looked utterly horrified. Had he slept walked? Had a nightmare? What was he doing in Tony’s room? Peter padded softly out of the room and to the kitchen. He grabbed a bowl and his favorite cereal. He sat at the table and ate.

If you walked in, you’d see a normal teenager eating cereal. But what was going through the teen’s mind, was far from normal. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember his nightmare or why he ended up in Tony’s room.

Peter was scared out of his thoughts when a hand was placed on his shoulder. The teen flinched hard, the cereal and milk on his spoon flinging everywhere. He turned around ready to strike.

“Woah there Spidey. It’s just me,” Clint said. A hint of laughter in his voice. Peter frowned.

“Jerk,” He mumbled. Peter finished his cereal and practically threw the bowl in the sink.

“I didn’t mean to upset you kid,” Clint said confused as to why Peter was so upset.

“I’m not upset,” Peter said passive aggressively. Clint raised an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh. Sure you aren’t.”

Peter walked to the lab. Tony was in there working on something. Peter walked in.

“Morning Pete. Or should I say afternoon,” Tony said. Peter took note that he said nothing about how Peter was in his room.

“Why was I in your room when I woke up?” Peter threw the question out there.

“I don’t know Peter. I tripped over you this morning so I put you in the bed.” Tony was still working on whatever it was he was working on.

“I think I had a nightmare..?” Peter said in a questioning manner.

“I have no clue, Pete. Wanna help?” Tony asked. Peter happily agreed and that’s where the two spent the remainder of the morning.

Lunchtime

Steve walked in carrying three plates. “If you scientists are going to be in here all day, you have to eat something,” Steve said.

“Thanks, Cap,” Tony said taking one of the plates. Peter took another and Steve went to look for Bruce. Peter ate at the sandwich on his plate, he didn’t feel very hungry. He didn’t miss the worried glances sent his way by Tony.

“Peter, are you okay?” Tony asked looking at the teen. Peter, who had been improving DUM-Y, stopped working. Peering at Tony with questioning eyes.

“Yeah. I’m okay Tony,” Peter said. “I think I’m going to go rest.” With that thought, Peter exited the lab, leaving a very concerned Tony in his wake.

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Peter sat at his desk. He was once again writing in his journal.

*‘I woke up in Tony’s room this morning. I don’t know why. I don’t remember going in there...I hope I didn’t wake him up or bother him too much. Here we go again….feeling like a useless burden...I’ll have to talk to Bruce to see if he can clear me for patrolling.*

Peter closed his notebook and asked Friday where Bruce was.
“Dr. Banner is currently in the lab.” The AI responded quickly.

“Thanks, Friday,”

“You’re welcome, Peter.”

Peter rushed to the lab almost excitedly. “Hey, Bruce?”

“Yeah, Peter?” Bruce said coming out of his workroom.

“Bruce, when will I be able to start patrolling again?” Peter asked.

“Hmm..” Bruce thought. “To be on the safe side I’d wait until at least Wednesday.”

Peter visibly deflated. “Okay.”

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The rest of the weekend went by quickly for Peter. Too quickly. Peter awoke Monday morning, dreading school. He didn’t want to face Flash or his goons. Peter threw on his hoodie and shoes. Grabbing his bag, he made his way to the kitchen.
Grabbing a granola bar, Peter headed out to the car. Tony was taking him to school today.

Once Peter arrived at school, he bid Tony goodbye and shut the door after grabbing his bag. Peter was assuming that Flash would be there picking on him the second he walked in the school, but that didn’t happen. Peter was confused as he went the entire day without Flash being an absolute dick to him.

Peter texted Tony. He wanted to walk back so he could get some air. Tony agreed as long as he stayed safe.

Peter was heading out of the school when he was pulled off to the side where no one was around. Sure enough it was Flash.

“So Parker. You think you can get away that easily?” Flash asked. His tone was harsh and cold.

“I was hoping you’d leave me the hell alone,” Peter sneered.

“I will never leave you alone Parker. You deserve everything you get from me.”

Before Peter could react, Flash’s fist came at his face. Peter was knocked to the ground, for some reason his senses weren’t working. Stars exploded in his vision as he hit the ground. His ribs protested at the impact. Then a kick was aimed at his sore healing ribs. Peter let loose a high pitched groan. He couldn’t move. The breath was knocked out of him. Peter whimpered. “Stop…” he mumbled. Another kick to the head is what he got. It was enough to cause his vision to explode in stars. The world around him spun horribly, causing his stomach to twist.

“What was that Penis?”

“Stop,” Peter said slightly more loudly. But stop was at the bottom of Flash’s list.

“I hope you die. Parker. No one wants you here!” Flash yelled.

Soon the relentless beating stopped and Peter almost cried in relief. He got up slowly, struggling to get his footing right. Then he stumbled to the compound. His eyes were heavy and he felt lightheaded. He almost blacked out a couple of times. Flash had beaten him up, but it was never this bad. Peter tried so hard to stay conscious, but that was proving difficult.

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Tony was starting to get worried. Peter wasn’t back yet and it had been almost an hour since Peter’s school ended. Just as Tony was about to go looking for him, in stumbled a very beat up Peter.

“Ton’…” Peter’s words were slurred. “I think...I think I need help…” Peter looked awful. His face was pale, and there was blood running down his nose.

“Oh my god! Friday get Bruce now!” Tony was frantic. “Pete? Peter talk to me.”

Peter mumbled incoherently, only a few words escaping that Tony could actually understand. “Flash...after…school….M’ sorr’.”

“Pete, don’t apologize. Friday, vitals.”

“Peter seems to be showing signs of a severe concussion. Three cracked ribs, and a broken nose. Heart rate is higher than normal, breathing is shallow and labored,” the AI responded quickly.

“What happened?” Bruce asked as he rushed in, pulling a gurney behind him. Then he noticed Peter. Tony noticed he was starting to look a little green.

“I don’t know but, Peter needs you now. Calm down,” Tony said calmly, even though he was just as angry.

“Can you tell me your name?” Bruce asked.

“You..know my…my name?” Peter sounded confused.

“Yes, I do. But I need you to tell me your name anyway.”

“Pe...ter par...ker…” Peter sounded tired.

“Dammit, he’s got a concussion.” Bruce’s tone was hard. He felt around Peter’s chest, wincing as Peter gave a few cries. “Pete, stay awake for me just a little longer,”

“But…’m so sleepy..” Peter’s words trailed off as he closed his eyes.

“Peter!” Tony’s voice was loud, shocking Peter awake.

“M’ awa..k’,” Peter mumbled. Tony and Bruce lifted Peter onto the gurney and to the medbay they rushed. Peter tried his best to stay awake, but his consciousness slipped away from him.

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“No breath sounds on the right, his lung collapsed.”

Bruce gave a string of curses that would make even a pirate blush. Bruce relaxed only when they were sure that Peter was stable. And even then it was only slightly. He watched Peter closely.

“He’s stable for now. I’m going to monitor him closely for the next few days. His lung collapsed due to his broken ribs. He should pull through. He’s strong,” Bruce said to all the Avengers waiting for information.

“I’m going to murder that kid,” Tony seethed.

“Tony, you can’t murder a minor,” Steve said.

“Okay...but I can press charges.” Everyone knew Tony was upset. They all agreed, as long as Tony didn’t murder anyone.

When Tony saw Peter in the bed, hooked up to all those instruments he almost left. But he stayed for Peter.

“He’s going to be on the ventilator until I’m sure he can breathe on his own,” Bruce said quickly as he noticed Tony’s paled and worried face.

Peter woke up, it felt like he was on fire. He couldn’t breathe. His mind was a hazy mess. He couldn’t open his eyes. It was like they were glued shut. He heard voices. “Temp-....too high….need….him…” Then it all faded away.

Peter felt as something was placed in his nose. Puffs of air tickled his nose.

“If...lower...temperature...lasting damage.” Peter didn’t understand any of it.

The blackness was back. He could still hear frantic rustling around him before that cutoff. Peter was back in the depths of his mind.

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The next time Peter awoke, he felt only slightly better. Peter felt a warm hand on his own. “Come on Pete, come back to us…” The was familiar but he couldn’t place it.

“Who?” Peter’s voice was raspy. He was really confused. Peter opened his eyes and looked at Tony. “Wha’?” Peter’s mind couldn’t form sentences. “Where?” Peter’s eyes were glassy and unfocused.

“Pete..?” Tony looked confused. “Bruce, something’s wrong with Peter,” Tony said as Bruce walked in. Bruce rushed over to Peter.

“Peter?” The teen looked at Bruce, his gaze was still slightly unfocused.

“Where….am…?” Peter frowned. That didn’t come out as planned.

“You’re in the medbay Peter...you...you had an accident..,” Tony said. He looked at Bruce who was looking at Peter with utter concern. Then Peter’s eyes fell shut. “Bruce?”

“His fever is still really high Tony. We need to lower it some more.” Was all the scientist said.

Soon they had a cool bath ready for Peter. Peter didn’t wake up the entire time. After they finally got Peter’s temp to drop, they dressed him in clean clothes and put him back to bed. There wasn’t much else they could do for the teen.

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The next time Peter awoke he was much more aware. There was something over his mouth and nose, he clumsily reached his hand up to take it off.

“Peter. Don’t touch that,” A voice warned.

“Ton’?” Peter slurred through the oxygen mask. He winced as his chest protested painfully.

“Don’t try to talk just yet Pete,” Tony said, concern slipping into his voice. Peter, of course, didn’t listen.

“ ‘urts,” Peter mumbled.

“I know Pete. Let me get Bruce,” Tony’s voice was soft as he left. Tony returned with Bruce.

“Hey, Peter. I don’t want you talking too much, your lung is still healing,” Bruce said. Peter nodded but stopped suddenly as it made his head spin. Bruce gently picked up Peter’s wrist, fingers over his pulse point. Then he checked Peter’s eyes. The teen flinched at the bright light, but other than that Bruce said he was doing better.

Peter moved the mask off his face. “What….happened…?” Peter asked breathlessly.

“Put that back on,” Tony said. Peter didn’t follow orders and asked his previous unanswered question.

“Wha…t...hap...pen...ed?” His words were getting choppy with his struggling breaths.

“I’ll tell you if you put that back on,” Bruce said as he moved to put the oxygen mask back on. “As I said, your lung is still healing and I don’t want you doing any strenuous activities, and right now during the beginning stages even breathing can be a trick.”

Peter nodded softly. Feeling tired out.

“You came home...after being pretty badly beat up…” Tony said.

Peter gave him a questioning glance. “Flash Thompson…” Tony muttered. Peter frowned, then everything rushed back to him. Everything. Peter’s heart rate accelerated and his breathing was fast. His chest ached painfully as everything flooded his mind.

Breathe Peter...you have to breathe

“Peter. Slow, deep breaths,” Bruce said as he injected something into the IV. Peter was still hyperventilating. Tears streamed endlessly down his pale cheeks.

Then Peter’s breathing slowed and he was out like a light. “What’d you give him?” Tony asked.

“A mild sedative. With his injuries, freaking out is the worst possible thing...aside from overexerting himself.” Bruce’s answer was quick. Steve, Nat, Clint, Bucky, and Sam walked into the room.
“How’s the kid?” Clint asked he was unusually quiet.

“Not doing as good as we hoped. Pete had a bit of a freakout,” Bruce answered.

“It’s normal,” Sam responded. “He’s been through more in the past couple of weeks than any of us combined.”

“He most certainly has,” Steve said. They all lounged around the room, waiting until the teen woke up again. The atmosphere in the room was tense.

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Peter opened his eyes to find himself facing Flash once again. “Why do you still brag about that stupid internship Parker? We all know its fake! You’re FAKE!”

He felt an overwhelming surge of anger rush through him as he punched Flash as hard as he could. Flash flew backward from the impact. The other teen was not moving. Peter rushed over, all anger was lost now. He was fearful. Peter placed two very shaky fingers to Flash’s neck. Nothing. No rise and fall of his chest. No pulse. Peter had killed Flash Thompson.

“Oh no…” Peter mumbled to himself.

“Oh no is right Peter. You’ve abused your power. How could you?” Peter’s head whipped around fast. His eyes widened in shock. First, it was Uncle Ben’s voice. “You are a disappointment,” It morphed into Tony’s voice, and soon Peter’s mentor was standing in front of him. Peter looked sad...betrayed.

“Tony I-” Peter was cut off.

“No Peter...this is the last straw. I can’t deal with you anymore. I want you out of the compound by tomorrow. And, I’m going to need the suit back.”

Peter looked incredulous. Many emotions passed through his eyes. Fear. Anger. Hurt. Pain. Betrayal. “You promised Tony...You PROMISED!” Peter yelled. “You told me you’d never leave me…You told me that-”

“Yeah. Well, I lied. Get your things and get out. No one wants you here.”

“I get it...I’m sorry…I know I’m just a worthless burden to you...I knew I wasn’t even actually that special to you...” Peter couldn’t help the tears that followed. Now he felt even more worthless. He hadn’t meant to upset Tony. He didn’t mean to kill Flash. Peter fell to his knees, crying. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs.

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Peter shot up, his breathing erratic. He let loose a heartbreaking sob. He felt arms around him, a voice whispering in his ears. His chest was ever so painfully tight.

‘You have to breathe Peter’

All Peter could see was Flash’s dead body. The dream was so vivid he thought it was real. “All my fault….All my fault,” Peter continuously mumbled.

“Peter, listen to me. It was just a nightmare. Shhh...it’s okay. You’re safe now.” ‘Sam’s voice.’ Peter thought. “Peter, I know it feels like you’re dying right now, but you aren’t. Now breathing is nice every once in a while so why don’t we do that,”

All Peter could feel were hands on him. He was freaking out. “Tony...you need to let go of him,” Sam said. “I know you don’t want to, but it’s only making him freak out more,”

Tony reluctantly let go. Peter calmed down slightly. “Peter, deep breaths. In...and out...in...and out. There you go, keep taking those nice deep breaths for me,” Sam said. Everyone was in awe at how good Sam was, calming Peter. How soft he truly was. Once Peter was calm-well calmer- Sam asked, “Peter, wanna talk about it?”

“No,” It was of course muffled by the oxygen mask. Peter laid back and stared at the ceiling. Everyone glanced at him, then at each other. A silent conversation passing between the adults. Peter was far worse off than they had originally thought. He might not ever be the same again.

Chapter Text

To say Peter was exhausted could have been the greatest understatement in the world. Bruce had said that even with Peter’s enhanced healing abilities that it would take a while for him to be completely healed and back to his full abilities. The teen was starting to get frustrated with his level of physical and mental exhaustion.

“Peter you are still healing. You need to take it easy,” Bruce said as Peter attempted to stand on his own. Tony’s arms shot out to steady Peter as the teen almost fell.

“I know.” The teen sighed. “But I can’t always have someone there to help me. You guys are too busy for that.”

“We aren’t too busy for you,” Tony said. That only seemed to frustrate the teen more.

“You see! You guys are always canceling stuff and acting like I’m the most important thing in the world,” Peter yelled, even he was surprised by his outburst. “I’m sorry…”
“Peter what have we told you about apologizing? You don’t have to,” Tony said.

“Ugh. I know what you said.” A frown dawned Peter’s face. Peter stood still for a second before taking a step. He stumbled slightly but regained his balance.

“Take it easy Peter.” Bruce’s voice was harsh. But Peter knew better than to take it to heart.

“I will Uncle Brucie,” Peter said. Then an almost horrified look passed his features. “Uh...I...uh,”

Bruce had a shocked look on his face, but it melted into compassion. “Uncle Brucie huh? I could get used to it.” Peter gave a small smile, happy that Bruce wasn’t mad. And from there on, the Avengers were like Peter’s aunts and uncles. Tony was, of course, his father figure. Peter was slowly but surely moving on. His recovery didn’t take too long. He could now do things on his own, but he still wasn’t cleared for patrolling.

Peter walked into the kitchen early Saturday morning. Typical of him, he had woken up due to a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep. He sat at the table sipping on a mug of hot chocolate. Clint walked in quietly. Peter didn’t even notice he was there, he was thinking about the nightmare he had. Suddenly Peter flinched back so hard the chair fell over.

Peter let loose a silent scream as the fall rattled his still sore ribs. “Jesus kid! Chill out!” Clint said going over to help Peter.

“Don’t sneak up on me!” Peter whined as Clint helped him up.

“Believe it or not, I didn’t mean to this time. I didn’t even know you were in here.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“I mean it, kid,” Clint said. Peter picked up the chair, grabbed his cup of hot chocolate, and walked into the living room. He set his mug down on the coffee table and grabbed the remote. Peter turned on the TV and put ‘Friends’ on. He sat on the couch, legs drawled up to his chest and was quiet the rest of the morning. Clint didn’t push him to talk, remembering that Sam said if they pushed Peter too hard it could send him spiraling again.

After everyone was up, Steve and Bucky went to the gym to train. Peter wanted to follow but was cornered by Bruce and Tony.

“Please! I promise I’ll take it easy!” Peter argued. Bruce gave Peter a look that shut the teen up. “Fine.”

“Peter I don’t want you hurting yourself again. That’s that,” Bruce said.
Peter gave a defeated sigh. “I know...but you guys can’t protect me forever,” Peter said. “I’m not a two-year-old that needs to be bubble wrapped.”

“We know Peter. But you are-”

“Still healing. I know,” Peter finished. “I’ll make a deal with you,” Peter said.

“I’m not agreeing to anything yet.”

“You let me train with Steve and Bucky, and if it gets too much I’ll sit out and take a break,” Peter said. Bruce looked at Peter. The teen had nothing but truth in his eyes. Bruce sighed.

“Okay. But, the second things get too much…”

“I promise! Thanks, Uncle Bruce!” Peter yelled, practically bouncing off the walls as he headed to the gym.

“Hey Pete, I thought Bruce told you not to come down here?” Steve said.

“Well...with a bit of light convincing...he said I could train,” Peter said. Steve didn’t look very happy about that.

“Just don’t push yourself too hard.”

The three of them started to train together. Peter was laughing at Bucky as the older male struggled to get out of the webs Peter tied him up with. Steve who took this chance to sneak up on Peter...also ended up getting webbed. Leaving Peter rolling on the ground with laughter.

“Wow, Pete. You actually got us, now...is there any way to get us out?” Steve asked. Peter laughed and helped them out. The three of them headed back up to the penthouse. The Avengers hadn’t seen Peter so happy since before his Aunt May died. He was a smiling, laughing mess. ‘Maybe…’ They thought. ‘Maybe he’s going to start getting better’. Boy were they wrong…

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Peter had his good days and he had his bad days. On a bad day, he would spend the day in his room or sitting quietly on the couch, not having the energy to do anything. On his good days, Peter would train with Steve, Bucky, Nat, and Clint. He’d spend hours on end talking Tony’s ear off in the lab, or he’d converse about this and that with Bruce.

Today...was one of the bad days. Peter didn’t know what set him off. All he knew was that he was feeling like utter shit. He laid in his bed, trying to keep thoughts out of his mind. Peter closed his eyes, wishing Tony was there. “Fri…?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“Is Tony still in that meeting…?” Peter asked hesitantly.

“Yes. I can go ahead and call him if you’d like.”

“No no no. Don’t do that.”

Peter laid in his bed. “I can call Mr. Rogers, or Mr. Wilson, if you would like,” The AI responded, somehow a hint of concern in her toneless voice.

“No. They are probably busy with better things anyway,” Peter said. The teen literally rolled himself out of the bed that seemed to swallow him and made his way to the bathroom. He turned on the water and undressed. Finding a razor, he stepped into the steaming water. Peter washed his hair.

It’d been a while since he felt the need to cut...but it was stronger now than ever. Peter pressed the cool metal against his wrist, slowly dragging it across. Watching as red bubbled up and swirled with water down the drain. Peter hissed slightly as it stung, but it didn’t for long. Soon he was numb to the pain. Peter ended up sitting on the floor of the shower, letting the hot water run over him as he cried.

Peter slowly got up and turned the water off. Before he did anything, he bandaged his arm. Then he got dressed, threw a hoodie on and walked out of the bathroom.

Peter laid in his bed. He was trying to keep his breathing under control, but that was proving almost impossible. Too many memories, too many flashbacks were flooding into his mind.

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“Boss, Peter is showing signs of a panic attack. I recommend helping him as soon as possible before he hurts himself.”

All the Avengers were in the lounge room when they heard the AI’s voice. Tony shot up and was followed by Steve and Sam. Soon they arrived at Peter’s room, the teen was sitting smack in the middle of the floor, hunched over his legs, pulling at his hair, tears streaming down his face. “Peter,” Tony called out softly as to not startle the teen. Peter looked at them, eyes wide.

“To...ny…” Peter said through sobs. Tony took that as permission to touch the teen and enveloped him in a hug.
“Shhh. Pete, it’s okay,” Tony soothed. Sam walked over and sat in front of Peter, Steve on the other side of Sam.

“Make it stop…” Peter whispered hoarsely.

“Hey, Pete why don’t we play a little game? How’s that sound?” Sam asked.

“What...what k...kind of g...game?” Peter stuttered through heavy quick breaths.

“Why don’t you tell me five things you can see?”

“T...Tony...You...Steve...t-the ceiling...My bed,” Peter said. He was starting to calm down a little.

“Good, that’s good, now four things you can touch.”

“The carpet...Tony’s hands...My face...your shirt…” Peter was progressively calmer.

“Three things you can hear,” Sam said.

“Your voice.” Peter paused for a moment. “My breathing. The rain,” Peter said.

“Good. Two things you can smell.”

“Popcorn. Tony’s expensive shampoo.”

“You’re doing good. Now, one emotion Peter.”

“Unbelievably sad,” Peter said. He was finally calm, not latching onto Tony’s arms refusing to let go.

“Why don’t we join the others and watch a movie?” Steve asked. Peter gave a subtle nod in agreement. Tony helped Peter to his feet. The teen winced slightly as Tony rubbed against the fresh cuts and prayed that Tony didn’t notice.

“Peter, are you okay?” Tony asked gently. ‘So much for not noticing’. Peter thought.

“Y-yeah. J...just a bit sore,” Peter said. He cursed himself into next century for stuttering. Tony frowned. Sam looked skeptical at his answer. And Steve looked like he didn’t even slightly believe him.

“Peter.” Tony’s voice signaled that Peter was in for it now. “Please don’t lie.” Peter clenched his teeth as Tony rolled up his sleeves gently, not able to do anything to stop them from seeing.

“Peter...why?” Steve asked. Peter didn’t answer, he stood there with his head down. He felt ashamed, not that they found out...but because he did it. There was heavy tension in the room and someone sighed.

“Come on Peter. We can talk later. But you will let Bruce clean that so it doesn’t get infected. That’s the last thing you want,” Tony said. Peter grudgingly followed the adults.

“Bruce we need you. Don’t ask questions just meet us in my room,” Tony spoke to Bruce over the phone. Soon the scientist was in the room. As he looked at Peter’s arm he held an emotionless look.

“Just yell. I know you guys are mad,” Peter said suddenly.

“Oh Peter, we aren’t mad,” Tony said. “We’re worried kiddo.” Peter didn’t say anything as Bruce finished cleaning his wounds. As soon as Bruce was finished, They all headed to the lounge to watch a movie and unwind.

Peter didn’t speak throughout the entire movie. He sat in between Tony and the edge of the couch silently. In truth, the teen wasn’t even watching the movie. His thoughts were elsewhere.

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Peter
I couldn’t stop thinking about my little freakout. I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Tony’s face when he saw that I’d been cutting again. I stared at the movie playing on the screen. Clint had picked the Star Wars movies. I liked them, but I found myself unable to sit still.
I just wanted to shrink and disappear.

A flash of lightning came into the room. Followed by a ridiculously loud thunderclap that sent my senses through the roof. I couldn’t help but let loose a scream that was lodged in my throat as the power clicked off. I covered my ears and tried to get even smaller. I felt like the entire room was shaking. Then it slowly died down.

“Peter it’s okay. Calm down,” Tony said. I felt his hand on my back. “Three, two, one…,” Tony whispered. Then the lights flickered back on as the generator did its job. Everyone was looking at me with a worried expression.

“Just a little thunder,” I mumbled to myself. The movie resumed at its previous spot. Clint went to go grab blankets. As I closed my eyes and leaned my head against Tony’s shoulder, I felt a blanket wrap tightly around my shoulders.

“We got you, Peter…” Tony’s voice faded off as I fell asleep.

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Peter walked into the kitchen. He felt everyone’s eyes on him. “What are you still doing here?” Natasha said venomously. Peter frowned. Confused.

“What do you mean?” Peter was utterly confused at them as they glared at him.

“Just go. Take your things and leave.”

“T-Tony..?” Peter’s head whipped towards Tony. The older scientist did nothing but glare. “Wha-?”

“Just Go!” Tony yelled. Peter’s eyes widened, his face dawned a look of pure horror. “No one wants you here anymore!” Tony had never yelled at Peter like that. Ever.

“I...but...Tony...w..why?” Peter’s eyes welled up with tears. A fist came at his face.

“You heard him. Get your things and get out,” Clint said through gritted teeth. Peter stared at them.

“O...okay...I’m going…”

Once Peter grabbed his things, he left out the window. He barely reached Queens before he collapsed harshly on top of a building. His only family had betrayed him. Peter looked up as he heard footsteps coming towards him.

“Peter, come with me.”

“Who are you?”

“You don’t remember me?” The man in the white coat said. “I’m Norman Osborn.”

Peter stared at the man. “Get away from me.” Peter stood up, ready to fight. Then, he suddenly was hit from behind by something hard, knocking him to the ground. He felt a prick in his neck before he fell unconscious.

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Peter awoke to his head pounding awfully. He was strapped to a table. “Well, well, well, the bug is awake,” Said a voice. Peter’s mind was hazy and it sounded like Peter was listening to someone with his head in water. Peter tried to talk, but his mind wouldn’t come up with words.

“W…’m...I?” He was disappointed at how it came out.

“You are in the Oscorp lab. We are going to have fun with you.” The guy’s tone was sadistic.

“Wha...do...you...Mean..?” Peter asked, his mind was still jumbled and his mind was sluggish. But he was slowly recovering from what they put in his system. The man said nothing, the door was open and in walked another man. This man carried a tray that had syringes, scalpels, and other various supplies. Peter instantly started freaking out.

“Don’t move. And...feel free to scream.” Peter whimpered softly, as they took the scalpel to his arm.

“Why are you doing this!?” Peter yelled through the pain.

“I want revenge. I want you to suffer. I want Stark to suffer. I want him to watch, helplessly as you die.”

Peter let loose a scream-sob. There was a camera in his line of vision. He felt as his body relaxed the second the drugs were put into his system. Then Peter felt nothing. Saw nothing. Heard nothing.

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“An email from an anonymous sender.”

“Open it up Fri,” Tony said grimly. He was conversing with the rest of the Avengers. Peter had been missing for a while, when they all woke up he was gone. Friday had told them what happened. Showed them the recorded videos.

‘Alright, Stark. You’ve had your fun. Now it’s time for mine’. Was on the title. Tony looked confused. The video started playing. Everyone stared wide-eyed at the screen as they saw Peter lying there, not able to move as a man hidden from the camera cut into him. The camera turned, the face of Norman Osborn was now on screen.

“You have two days before bug boy breathes his last breath.”

Hearing Peter’s screams and that set Tony off the deep end. Tony left, everyone close behind.

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Peter woke up in a cold cell. Head pounding madly. His whole body ached.

“Finally awake I see,” Came the cold voice of Osborn. Peter flinched at how loud it was.

“I don’t want to be awake.”

“Well too bad Bug boy. Want some music?”

“No.”

Just then, a song played. Loudly. Peter had to refrain from screaming. He covered his ears as the music made his pounding head pound even harder. It went on for what felt like hours. Then, complete silence. Peter laid shivering in the cold cell, his ears bleeding. His eyes screwed shut. This happened on and off. The music would play loudly for a long time, then shut off for a long time.

Peter begged and begged for Tony to find him, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. They kicked him out. They didn’t want them. He came to terms with the fact that no one would come for him. He’d be left for dead in that place, no one ever knowing.

There were sounds of heavy footsteps. Then the cell door opened, revealing Osborn and a camera. “Tell them how badly you want them to save you. Tell them what you really feel. You might not get the chance ever again,” Came the demand. Peter held his tongue for a while, then he spoke.

“Tony...guys...I...I don’t...I don’t know what I did...but I’m sorry…” Peter started softly. “I’m sorry that I screwed up!” Peter yelled, tears streaming down his face. “I just...I’m sorry...I always find a way to screw things up...I’m sorry,” Peter was full blown sobbing by now. Osborn turned the camera back to him.

“The clock is ticking Stark. You have twenty-four hours left.” The camera clicked off. Osborn grabbed Peter’s hair and pulled him up. “No one is coming to save you. You deserve every bit of this,”

Peter didn’t say a word. He just simply laid there, taking everything that came to him. He didn’t have the strength or the will to fight back anymore.

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Tony cursed very loudly as he watched the next video. He was horrified. What had happened? Peter was saying sorry for something...but everything from the time span of when Peter fell asleep and when Tony woke up was all hazy. Tony confronted all the Avengers about it and they said similar things.

Tony was heartbroken at the thought of Peter being taken and tortured. Tony would stop at nothing to save their little spider. Tony thought up plans.

“We only have twenty-four hours…” Tony said.

“We will find him and that’s that,” Steve said, enveloping Tony in a hug. Usually, the scientist would push away, but this time he wrapped his arms around Steve.

“I hope so Cap. I hope so.” With that, they set off to the Oscorp lab. Hoping to find Peter there.

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Peter laid in the cell. On the cold stone floor, shivering. He’d thrown up what little he did get for food. His arm where they horribly stitched him up was a terrible yellow color. It was red and very painful to the touch. He was cold, but at the same time, his insides were burning. Now Peter laid and focused on his breathing which was ragged and shallow. Peter, in his hand, held the phone Osborn had been using to email, Tony. Peter learned to forgive them, knowing deep down that they wouldn’t actually do that to him.

Peter closed his eyes. He felt like he was freezing to death, but also melting at the same time. He didn’t think that was a good sign. Peter’s eyes felt too heavy to keep open. He opened them long enough to dial Tony’s number that was lodged in his brain. No one picked up the first time...or the second time...or the third. Peter thought about giving up until finally.

“Who is this?” Peter had never been so glad to hear Tony’s voice.

“T...To...Tony…?” Peter almost burst into tears.

“Peter? Peter where are you?”

“Tony...Osborn...he...I don’t have long until he comes back...Tony, I don’t know...I-” Peter cut himself off.

“Listen Peter. I’m going to trace the call and we will come to save you. I promise.”

“You should hurry...I don’t think I can do this much longer…” Peter said. His voice was raspy and weak.

“We’re coming Pete,” Tony’s voice wavered a bit. It sounded like he was crying too. The phone was slapped out of Peter’s hands.
“You Stupid Bug!” Osborn yelled. “You’re in for it now.” Peter shook with fear. He closed his eyes and he didn’t have the strength to stand. He felt himself being pulled harshly into a standing position and he let himself be dragged from the cell. He let himself be strapped to the table. He let himself give up. Little did he know, the Avengers were hot on his trail. They just hoped they weren’t too late...

Chapter Text

Hey guys....sorry this is not a chapter. There's just so much going on and I can't bring myself to write...I'm kinda in a bit of a dark place right now...and I just can't....I'm so so sorry. I just need a break from everything and I'm really sorry...

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UPDATE: So...I tried to do some more writing and I'm going to have the last chapter up by....possibly tomorrow. I don't know. It's taken so much out of me and I just didn't wanna disappoint you guys.

Chapter Text

Peter was strapped to a table. He barely had the strength to stand, let alone fight back. His consciousness was fading in and out. His vision was unfocused. He was light-headed. His breathing shallow. Before he slipped into unconsciousness, “Tony…” He muttered. Then the world went black.

Peter was looking around the beautiful place. “Pete…?” Uncle Ben.

“Uncle Ben? Aunt May?”

“Peter what are you doing here? It isn’t your time,” Aunt May said.

“Are you guys mad…?” Peter asked. “Mad that I moved on…?”

May and Ben frowned. “Oh, hunny! We could never be mad at you for moving on.” May’s eyes held a sadness to them.

“So...am I dead..?” Peter asked softly.

“No. Not yet anyway. This is where you choose,” Ben said. Peter frowned. Choose between them and the Avengers…? Peter thought for a moment.

“You...you guys wouldn’t be mad...if...if I chose to stay with the Avengers…?”

“No, hun. We could never be mad at you,” May said with a small smile. Peter began to feel a horrible pressure on his chest as his mind screamed at him.

“I...think I choose Tony...I can’t just leave him,” Peter said.

“That’s okay, hun. We love you,” Peter’s parents stood behind May and Parker.

“I love you too.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Tony was leaning over Peter, doing CPR until Bruce arrived. “Come on Peter!” He yelled in anguish. The teen wasn’t breathing. He didn’t have a pulse. “Please…” Tony begged as he was pulled away. Bruce continued compressions. One of the others on the med team put an Ambu bag to Peter’s mouth and nose.

Tony was held against a strong chest. He grabbed onto Steve’s arms. He’d grown far too attached to the kid for him to die now.

Finally, there was a gasp, a half relieved sigh, and then everyone sprung into action. Peter was rushed to the medbay. Tony, Steve, and the rest of the Avengers not far behind.

To say Tony was a wreck, was an understatement. The scientist was pacing back and forth, waiting for Bruce’s update on Peter.

“Tony.”

Tony whipped his head around and looked at Bruce. “How is he?”

“He’s not out of the woods yet, there was some pretty...significant damage...but he’ll pull through,” Bruce said.

“I want to see him, Bruce,” Tony said. Bruce nodded and allowed Tony to follow him.

When Tony walked into the room, the sight made him want to run back out and throw up. Peter looked small, he had dark circles under his eyes. Every visible part of his body was covered in bruises. His arm was wrapped heavily with white bandages. Tony collapsed into a chair.

“Oh god, Pete…” He mumbled softly. Bruce left the two alone for a while.

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Seconds turned into minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, and days to weeks. Peter still hadn’t woken up. Bruce said it would take him a while, but even the doctor/scientist didn’t think it would take this long for him to wake up. Tony started drinking more. Spending most of his time in the lab or with Peter, refusing to do much else. The others were worried for Peter, and for Tony. Here they were, three weeks later, still no sign of Peter waking up.

“What if he never wakes up Steve…?” Tony asked. His voice took on a note of pure hopelessness.

“Tones...I don’t know…,” Steve said.

“It’s been three weeks. Three weeks Steve! Bruce said he should have woken up by now!” Tony yelled in anguish.

“I know Tony. But yelling and screaming about the situation isn’t helping.” Steve grabbed the glass out of Tony’s hands. “Neither is this. What would Peter say?”

The scientist looked almost as bad as the teen on the bed. He sighed but glared at Steve.

There was a groan. Steve and Tony looked at Peter, who was waking up.

“Pete..?” Tony whispered softly. Peter’s eyes went to Tony, confusion was written all over his face and his eyes were blank, void of emotion.

“Who…?” Peter asked. “Where...where am I?”

“You’re at the compound, Peter. In the medbay,” Tony said. Bruce walked in.

“I see you’re awake Peter.”

“Who...whose Peter…? Who are you people?” Peter asked. Tony looked at Bruce in pure horror. Bruce kept a level head.

“You are Peter. I’m Bruce, and this is Tony,” Bruce said calmly. “Do you mind if I take a look at you?” Peter nodded hesitantly. “I’m going to take a look at your eyes. This is going to be bright,” Bruce warned. He shined the penlight in Peter’s eyes. Once he was done looking Peter over, he and Tony left the room.

“Bruce?”

“He is showing signs of temporary amnesia, it should clear up soon. I think it’s due to his brain blocking out all the bad memories of what happened. Also, his fever is back, but it isn’t too high at the moment, we do, however, need to keep an eye on it.”

“Is...is he going to be okay?” Tony asked his breathing was accelerated.

“He will be, it might take a while. But he will be,” Bruce said. He placed his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “Breathe Tony.”

“Are you sure?” Tony asked. Still panicking.

“Yes, Tony. I’m sure,” Bruce said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Peter, Bruce, and Tony were having a conversation. Bruce was filling Peter in on his injuries when Peter stopped talking. He started to mumble incoherently. His fever spiked and his heart rate was elevated.

“Pete?” Tony said. “Peter?”

“His fever is too high. We need to get it down before-” Bruce cut off as Peter’s eyes rolled back into his head and he started convulsing. “He has a seizure!” Bruce yelled. “Tony hold him down, but be careful,” Bruce said rushing about the room. He grabbed a syringe.

“Do something!” Tony yelled to Bruce.

“I’m trying! There isn’t much we can do till he stops,” Bruce said, pushing medicine into the IV.

“What are you giving him?” Tony asked.

“Anti-convulsant.”

After what felt like hours to Tony, Peter finally stopped convulsing. Bruce started barking orders and soon they had Peter in a cool bath to make his fever go down. Bruce gave Peter something else and promised Tony that it wouldn’t hurt him.

“It’s just a muscle relaxant, Tony. Him shivering is counterproductive to what we want,” Bruce said.

Once they got Peter’s fever down the returned the sleeping teen to bed, after dressing him. Bruce was left talking to Tony and filling all the Avengers in on what happened.

“Peter suffered a febrile seizure due to his high fever causing his organs to swell. He will be okay. They are usually harmless and I can’t think of a reason that his case is any different,” Bruce said.

“So...he’ll be okay…?” Tony asked.

“In time. Yes.”

So there they stayed with their favorite little spider.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next time Peter woke up, he had a pounding headache. But he wasn’t confused.
“Hey Pete,” He heard Tony say beside him. Peter hummed in acknowledgment. “You actually with us bud?” Tony’s voice was soft. Something Peter had never heard before was hidden. The teen looked at Tony. Slight confusion laced in the brown depths.

“Yeah...why wouldn’t I be Tony?” A look of relief passed through Tony’s features. Bruce walked in Peter’s line of sight.

“Do you know where you are Peter?” The scientist/doctor asked.

“Yea. I’m in the medbay...did...did something happen?”

“Yeah, Pete. Something did,” Tony said quietly.

“You had a slight case of temporary amnesia. You also suffered a small seizure due to a high fever.”

“Oh.”

“I’m glad you’re okay kiddo,” Tony said.

“Me too.”

The rest of the Avengers walked into the room, welcoming Peter back. Joking with him. Laughter filled the air, and Peter allowed himself to forget what Dr. Osborn had done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peter awoke in a cold sweat. He looked at a clock, it was 1 am. Peter breathed in as deeply as he could. He couldn’t get the nightmare out of his head. No matter what he thought of. Peter found himself lying awake for the rest of the night.

Peter was starting to feel better. Well...physically. Peter was back to having nightmares every night. Every night it was him waking up, screaming for Tony or Steve or someone to save him, while bawling his eyes out, thinking he was back in the Oscorp labs. Panic attacks once or twice, sometimes even three times a day. Everything set off his anxiety.

Nothing seemed to help Peter’s mental state. Not Sam’s tactics, not Tony’s, no ones. The teen was too afraid to talk about it. Anytime someone asked him to talk about it, it would send his mind into a rush of panic. He didn’t want to relive any of it. And Peter had it in his mind, that if he talked about it, he’d relive it. Peter was spending more time with Ned and MJ. He wasn’t allowed to go out as Spiderman for a while until they were sure he’d be okay.

Peter went back to school a week after his recovery. Ned had brought by his homework every day, so he wasn’t too far behind. Flash was leaving him alone, thanks to MJ’s glares.

They were sitting in history class. Watching a movie. Peter didn’t know what brought it on, but he felt his chest constrict painfully before he dashed out of the room to the bathroom.

“Peter?” Ned’s voice rang out. “Are you okay?”

Peter shook his head.

“What can I do?” Ned asked, worried for his best friend.

“Call Tony.”

Peter couldn’t breathe.

They won’t save you.

Breathe Peter.

You’re nothing. Panicking over nothing.

“Pete?”

Nothing...nothing….nothing…

“Peter. Breathe.” Peter felt his hands being grabbed and placed on someone’s chest. The person taking over-exaggerated breaths. “Pete, you have to breathe,” Tony’s voice.

“Tony…?” Peter said through intakes of breaths.

“Yeah. You with me now Pete?”

Peter let his head drop and he was sobbing into Tony’s shoulder. Tony looked at Peter with worried eyes. He picked up the teen, signed him out and then carried him to the car.

“Home Happy,” Tony said after he buckled the teen in the car. Peter didn’t talk the rest of the day. He just stared blankly at the wall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Hey Pete, dinner is ready.” Tony walked into Peter’s room. The teen did nothing to show acknowledgment. Tony stepped in front of the teen. “Earth to Peter,” Tony said waving his hands in front of the teen’s face. Peter blinked and finally looked at Tony. “You with me bud?”

“Y...yeah...s...sorry,” Peter stuttered. Tony immediately shot the teen a concerned glance.

“Stop apologizing Peter,” Tony said. “Come on, let’s get some food. Clint made his homemade chicken alfredo for dinner.”

Peter gave a small hum in response and followed Tony to the kitchen. All eyes shot to Peter and Tony. Peter gave a small forced smile and sat down in between Sam and Clint. Peter shoved a bite in his mouth and instantly he fell in love with the dish.

“Mmm,” Peter hummed.

“Good, little Spider?” Natasha asked. Peter nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s AMAZING!” He yelled. That moment, Peter allowed himself to forget. Forget the pain he felt. Forget the immense sadness he felt.

Peter went to bed early that night. He promised Tony -who put up a fight about Peter going back to school- that he would be okay.

“I promise Tony. Besides I can’t afford to miss any more than I have,” Peter argued. Tony had finally gave into Peter after the teen had given him the puppy dog eyes. Tony was conflicted. He didn’t want to keep Peter home from school, but at the same time, he didn’t want the teen to have another panic attack at school.

The next day, Tony didn’t get a call from Ned or the school about Peter, so he assumed that the teen was okay. The day went on pretty smoothly...well until he got pulled into a meeting with Nick Fury.

“Norman Osborn broke free of the maximum security prison.” Was all Tony heard. He got up and stormed out of the room. Steve not too far behind him. Tony pulled out his phone with shaky hands and called Peter. Tony only started freaking out more because the teen didn’t pick up immediately.

“Tony, breathe. I’m sure he’s okay. He’s still in school remember?” Steve said.

“But what if-” Steve cut him off.

“He’s going to be okay. We won’t let anything happen to him.”

Tony’s phone started ringing. It was Peter. Tony answered the phone. “Peter are you okay?”

“Yeah, Mr. Stark. Is everything okay?” Peter sounded concerned.

“Happy is going to pick you up straight after school. I’ll tell you then,” Tony said.

Peter was anxious for the rest of the day. Tony had sounded extremely worried. Once Peter got inside the compound he heard Friday’s voice.

“Mr. Stark is in the penthouse. He has requested you go up there to meet with him. No exceptions,” The AI said as she took Peter up to the penthouse.

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter called out, there was enthusiasm in his voice, but that quickly faded as he noticed the look on Tony’s face. “What’s...wrong? Peter’s anxiety only spiked when he saw the rest of the Avengers, with the same concerned look as Tony.

“Peter...don't freak out...but…”

‘Too late’ Peter thought. “...but what..?” Peter had a panicked edge to his voice.

“Norman Osborn broke ou-” Peter cut whoever was speaking off with a small whimper. His breathing started getting heavier and faster.

“It’s okay мало паук(Little Spider),” Natasha said. “We won’t let him anywhere near you.”

But Peter wasn’t listening. All he could hear was Norman Osborn broke out of prison.

“Peter breathe!” Someone yelled out, loudly albeit cautiously. Peter felt white hot tears running down his face. Peter stared wide-eyed at Tony. The teen was shaking like a leaf. His knees buckled and he crumbled to the ground. His shoulders shaking with sobs. He wasn’t responding to anyone. Bruce rushed back in the room with a syringe, he frantically plunged it into Peter’s arm which was being held still by Tony. The effects were almost immediate. Peter’s muscles relaxed. His eyes fluttered closed and he was unconscious in Tony’s arms.

“Mild sedative, he’ll only be out an hour, two at the most,” Bruce said at the confused looks he got. They placed Peter on the couch. Everyone refused to leave the room until Peter woke up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peter woke up with a groan. He was slow at first, but then he shot up. He felt arms wrap around his torso. But he didn’t feel constricted. He felt safe. He knew this embrace. Tony. Peter closed his eyes and let himself relax in his father figures arms. “That’s it, Pete. You’re safe,” Tony mumbled quietly. Peter opened his eyes once more, everyone was in the room.
“It was pretty bad that time...huh…?” Peter said. He hadn’t meant to scare them. “I’m sorry.”

“Peter, why on earth are you sorry?” Steve questioned.

“For freaking out…” Peter said without hesitation.

“It isn’t your fault Peter. If I were you, I’d probably freaked out as well. That’s nothing to be sorry for,” Clint said.

“He’s right, мало паук. Don’t apologize,” Nat said. Peter took a deep breath.

“Friday, alert us if Norman Osborn sets foot on this property,” Tony said, all seriousness.

“Alright Boss.”

“How about some food?”

Peter nodded. The teen didn’t speak for the rest of the night. Everyone was on edge. Hoping, praying, that Osborn wouldn’t try to attack or kidnap Peter. It was then that they decided, at least one, two, three or all of them were to be with Peter at all times until Dr. Osborn was caught. Tony called the school to let them know that Peter was ‘sick’ and that he’d be out for a while. Which was fine, because the teen refused to leave the penthouse, let alone the entire compound itself.

Peter had been doing okay. He wasn’t the best, but he was getting there...but now all the work the Avengers put into helping him find a good peace of mind was shattered. Peter stayed in his room most of the day and barely slept at night. Clint tried to make him have at least a little fun. Natasha was training him. Steve and Bucky were also helping with training him. Tony tried to get him to go to the lab a time or two. They wanted to distract their little spider, but that was proving to be more difficult than it sounded.

Peter laid awake. Everyone else had gone to bed. Peter heard a quiet banging noise and his eyes snapped over to his window. Nothing. The teen looked away. Then there was a crash. Someone had come through the window. Peter’s head whipped around so fast he thought he gave himself whiplash. There stood Dr. Osborn.

“I finally found you. Now I can finish the job.”

Peter jumped off the bed, his eyes never leaving Osborn. He backed away from the crazed man. He was starting to hyperventilate as he scrambled to find the doorknob. Dr. Osborn was slowly walking towards him.

“N-no...st...stay ba..back!” Peter yelled. His hand finally found the doorknob, he turned -well tried to anyway- it was locked. Peter couldn’t turn it.
“Why don’t we finish what we started? Eh, Spidey?”

If Peter wasn’t freaking out earlier...he was now. He couldn’t seem to draw in a breath. His heart was hammering in his chest. Dr. Osborn was now in front of him. Peter saw red. Before he knew it his fist met with the doctor's chin. The teen didn’t even think about holding back.

CRACK

Osborn went flying back. There was yelling from outside his door. Osborn got up, holding his jaw. “Wow, you’re stronger than I thought,” he commented.

“Leave me alone!” Peter yelled as Dr. Osborn walked closer. He held something that glinted in the light. A knife. Before Peter could react, he was stabbed. He whimpered in pain.

Another loud Crack as the doorknob was torn off. The door finally flew open, revealing a worried Tony and Steve, followed by Bucky, Nat, Clint, and Sam. Peter fell into a heap on the floor, shaking like a leaf. He still couldn’t breathe. And now throw sobbing and wounded in the mix.

“Someone get Bruce!” Tony yelled. Natasha and Clint were now holding Osborn.

Natasha let go of Osborn and pulled out her gun. Two loud shots resounded through the room.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour later
Peter groaned as he opened his eyes. The lights were too bright, there was too much talking in the room. Everything rushed back into his head and he shot up. “Where is he? What happened?”

“Woah Pete. Calm down,” Tony said.

“He...he’s going to come for me again!” Peter yelled in anguish. His voice was broken.

“No Pete. He won’t ever touch you again.”

“How can you be so sure of that!?” Peter asked.

“Because he’s dead,” Natasha said. Peter’s eyes widened.

“You...you didn’t kill him did you…?” The teen asked softly. He started panicking again. “You aren’t going to get in trouble...right? Because you can’t get in trouble. It wasn’t your fault,” Peter was rambling. He continued. “Because I don’t think I could take it if you got in trouble because of me-”

“Peter!” Tony yelled causing the teen to jump. “No one is getting in trouble.”

“No…?”

“No.”

Peter felt a little better after that. His eyes closed and he fell into an...almost...peaceful slumber.

A two months Norman Osborn’s death
Peter was doing better. He was back to going out as spider-man. He was still having panic attacks and nightmares. Sometimes there was nothing to trigger them, but they’d still happen, leaving Peter feeling hopeless. It left him feeling like he was never going to get better. But Tony kept telling him otherwise. All the Avengers would tell him that he was getting better, but that it would take some time.

Peter was going out on patrol for the first time in what seemed like forever. He swooped in to save the day as he heard a scream.

“I suggest you give us everything you have,” Yelled the robber.

“I suggest you leave the poor lady alone!” Peter yelled falling gracefully to the floor, tilting his head at the robber. He pointed the gun at Peter, who froze. The robber looked at the girl, she looked at Peter. He mouthed ‘run’ at her. “Woah Woah, eyes on me buddy.” Peter jumped in the air and landed in front of the robber, distracting him so the girl could run. The robber shot at random in fear.

Peter felt white hot pain in his side. Another shot rang out. Then there was yelling. Peter slung webs and found himself on top of a building. As much as it hurt he knew he needed to get to the compound. “Peter I recommend calling Mr. Stark and getting medical help immediately.”

“I’m fine Karen,” Peter said.

Peter finally reached the compound. The flew into the window, thanking God that it was his room and that Friday kept it open for him. He stumbled in.

“Peter, your heart rate is elevated. Your breathing is labored. You are showing signs of distress. Contacting Mr. Stark,” Friday said. Peter couldn’t respond, the pain was too much. His mind was swimming, his vision blurry as he stumbled into the hall.

“Pete is every- Holy shit Peter what happened?” Tony’s alarmed voice was muffled.

“Robber...got...shot...ow,” Peter moaned in pain. “Not...as...bad...as it...looks.”

“Not as bad as it...Jesus kid you just got freaking shot,” Tony yelled flabbergasted. “Bruce!”

Peter once again found himself in the medbay. He had spent a lot of his time there. The Avengers decided it was high time they trained Peter even more.

Six months after Norman Osborn’s death

Peter was getting better at fighting. He was training under the Avengers. They were going hard on him. Half the time he ended up the one on the floor. The teen was getting frustrated. He was almost to the point where he could pin even Natasha though.

“Come on, Peter. I know you’re better than this!” Nat yelled as she pinned Peter. The teen gave an exasperated sigh.

“You are all better than me! You’ve trained a lot longer! Let’s face it I’m. Never. Going. To. Get. Better!” Peter yelled. He didn’t know where the anger came from. And if Nat was upset by it, she didn’t show it. Peter closed his eyes. “I’m sorry Nat.”

“Don’t be sorry Peter. You will get better. You know how I know?”

Peter opened his eyes. There was a look of...something...in her eyes but Peter couldn’t place it. “How..?”

“Because Peter. I know you. We all know you. Now come on Peter. You just going to let someone beat you up? Huh? Just going to roll over and give up?”

Natasha struck something in Peter. He slung out webs, grabbed both her wrists and twisted. He flipped backward so he was behind her. “I will never give up!” Peter yelled. He gave it his all and finally, Nat was pinned. She let one of her rare grins come out. Peter looked as if he was about ready to cry. He swallowed hard and got off of Nat.

“Peter?”

“Yeah, Nat?”

“You did good,” She said softly. “Come on let’s get up to breakfast before Steve kills us,” She laughed. Peter’s lips turned up in a small smile.

“Yeah.” Peter followed her.

A year after Norman Osborn’s death

Peter had gotten faster, stronger. Both mentally and physically. He was doing much better, though he still had the occasional panic attack. When they did happen they were usually brought on by big triggers. And they were usually really bad, leaving him unable to move for a while after.

“Peter. You need to breathe buddy,” Tony said. They were just lounging around in the lounge room. Watching a movie. Something inside Peter went snap. Peter had suddenly cried out. No one knew what brought it on, but he started panicking. Tony placed his hand on the teen’s shoulder, but Peter shrank away from him. He refused to let anyone touch him. Every time someone even moved to touch him, he’d cry out.

“He’s having a flashback. It’s in the same boat as a panic attack, but worse. Don’t touch him unless he says it’s okay. Speak softly. Reassure him,” Bruce had said the first time this happened.

“Pete…? Pete, can I touch you?” Tony asked softly. Peter looked at him with big brown puppy dog eyes, filled with tears. Then hesitantly nodded. Tony kneeled down and placed his hands on Peter’s shoulders. Firmly enough so that Peter knew he was there, but not too firmly so the teen could get away if he wanted. “Listen, Peter. You are in the compound, you’re safe. Bruce, Steve, Clint, Nat, and Sam are here with us. How about we move to the couch? How does that sound?”

Peter nodded. Still hesitant in his answers. It had been a while since he had an attack like this. It scared them when he had an attack this bad. There were tears streaming in endless lines down the teen’s cheeks. His breaths were shallow and quick. His eyes, wide with fear, darted around the room as if he was looking for danger. The teen only calmed down when he realized there wasn’t any.

“You with me Pete?” Tony asked keeping his voice soft.

“Y-yeah..,” Peter responded hoarsely. “I’m sorry,” He whispered.

“Don’t be sorry Peter. It’s not your fault.”

Peter ended up falling asleep against Tony who held him close, arms wrapped protectively around him.

Three years after Norman Osborn’s death
Peter was now twenty years old. He’d been diagnosed with PTSD almost four years ago. He was slowly...very slowly getting better. Day by day. He was officially apart of the Avengers now. Going on missions with them. Going to the meetings. All of it. Tony had said that having panic attacks and all that came with the job. He still got hurt, but it wasn’t usually that bad and it was few and far between.

Peter was glad he had the Avengers there for him. He thought back on the day May died.
*Flashback*
*Peter laid on his back looking up at the sky. He was now on top of the apartment building he and May lived in. May was attacked. She was murdered by a robber. Peter had been out patrolling when he got the call. Peter grabbed his phone and tried to call Tony once again. “Hello, if you are hearing this I am busy at the moment and you shouldn’t have my personal number anyway. Please leave a message after the beep”

Peter closed his eyes, feeling the threat of oncoming tears as he listened to the voicemail. “Hey..Mr. Stark...something came up and...just call me back…” He said in a teary voice before hanging up.

Peter sat up. A deep feeling of hopelessness pooled in the pit of his stomach. A sob tore through the quiet afternoon.

He tried to call Tony again. Finally getting a reply.*

*End of Flashback*
Peter realized that...if Tony hadn’t picked up...if he hadn’t known Tony...he wouldn’t be here right now. And to that...he owed Tony his life. Tony was like the father figure he never had...well...didn’t remember. Yes, he’d been through a lot...yes he was a broken mess for most of his life. Now, Peter sat with the Avengers eating dinner with them, laughing with them, partying with them.

“Hey, guys?” Peter got the attention of them, a big smile on his face. Tears of happiness in his eyes.

“Yeah Pete?” Tony asked.

“Thank you. For everything. Even though I was an ass a lot of the time...even though I yelled at you guys...tried to take my own life...I’m glad you guys put up with me.”

They all gave him smiles. “We’d gladly do it again,” Nat said.

“Yes. We’d do it all again, even knowing the hell you put us through sometimes,” Clint joked. “We love you kid,” He finished.

“I love you too,” Peter said. He couldn’t have been happier at this moment. The immense feeling, making his heart swell with happiness. Peter grinned bigger than the Cheshire cat. He was happy for once. Able to push away all those bad feelings.