Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was her wedding day, she was marrying Nikolai and becoming queen of Ravka. Her fairytale was complete… or at least it appeared that way. 

She didn’t speak to anyone about the simple bangle on her right wrist. 

The last amplifier. The last piece of her mortal soul gone terribly wrong. 

But she was not mortal anymore. 

She was Sankta Alina. 

She was Sol Koroleva. 

She was damned to hell and back. 

Because she killed the only man she ever loved for power, for her eternity. 

Aleksander had not come to visit her via the tether in nearly a week. He’s angry and rightly so because it was supposed to be him she was marrying, his bed she was supposed to be warming. But things don’t always go according to plan. 

So when she was alone, staring in the mirror just moments before she was supposed to walk down the aisle to Nikolai, he chose this moment to visit. 

Only it’s not through the tether. He’s here, All Saints, he’s here and just looking at him made her feel close to god (even though there was nothing holy about Aleksander Morozova and there never had been). 

He took her hand and brushed his smooth lips against the back of her hand, “My darling Alina.” 

“Aleksander, you can’t be here. I’m getting married.” 

“Do you still have it?” He asked without preamble. She knew what he was talking about, the ring with a yellow diamond was in her pocket. It felt like she carried his living, beating heart around with her. 

“We cannot do this,” she all but begged him. Her resolve was hanging on by a thread. Just seeing him, his cheeks pink from the ride here in the cold, his kefta ruffled by the wind. 

“You belong with me, your place is at my side. Alina, please.” 

She doesn’t think he’s ever said please to her before. The desire to walk up the aisle to Nikolai diminished by the second. 

Without warning, he leaned in and whispered to her, his cool, sweet breath ghosting over her ear, “Tell me you want to be with him for the next fifty years. Tell me you want him to bed you and you want to bear his children.” 

Alina felt her whole body go tense. She didn’t want those things, but she wanted a united Ravka. “It’s for the greater good. It’s what’s best for me,” she gritted out. 

The music began to start and she wondered if anyone would try to find her. 

He put her hand over his heart. “I thought a lot of things were for the greater good. But the only good thing in this world is you and I can’t let you walk down that aisle.” 

Alina bit her lip. Where was the aloof, controlling mastermind when she needed him? Where was the boy who had no conscience and only a lust for power? Maybe he’d died on the Fold when he’d agreed to fake his death. Maybe he had perished as he held her when she cried herself sick over Mal. 

She took out the ring and handed it to him, “Ask me then.” 

He cocked his head and the music got louder, there were murmurs in the audience and she knew she would have to die a little on the inside for this. 

He got down on one knee and held the ring out to her, “Alina, my darling Sankta, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming Alina Morozova?” 

She held out her ring finger and he slid the band on. 

She heard someone coming, probably Nikolai, and she needed to get out of this dress.

“Let me help.” The Darkling said softly, with a wave of his hand she’s in a black kefta and riding cloak. 

They don’t look back as she bends the light so they can escape the Grand Palace. 

Chapter Text

She’s looking out the window of the manor home she and Aleksander had run away to. It’s difficult for her to let go of things sometimes and watching the rainfall and the trees shake in the wind makes her think of a simpler time.

She doesn’t notice him until his arms are wrapped around her round stomach. “What are you doing out here? It’s late, you should come to bed.”

“I’m just watching the storm,” She says as he nuzzles his face into the spot between her shoulder and neck.

“You need rest Alina, this pregnancy has been hard on you,” and Aleksander sounds every bit like the worried dad he’s about to be.

“I want to go back to Ravka.” She says.

“Alina, do you mean that?” Aleksander’s voice is soft, and he knows she’s doing it for him.

She sighs, “Of course I mean it.”

“If we go back there’s no hiding, they know us for what we really are.”

She spins in his arms and wraps her arms around his neck. “Nikolai is ill, we’ve both heard the rumors, your merzost made him… wrong.”

“Alina I cannot change that.”

She lays her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “We can depose him, and let him recover.”

“You’re still trying to protect your otkazat’sya prince. He will die. Whether by my hand or the hand of time.”

She lets go of him and wanders through the halls, Aleksander follows her at a distance.

They’re across the true sea in Novyi Zem. It is usually always sunny here but the past couple days have been nothing but storms, she wonders if it’s because the land knows she’s cursed.

She feels a sudden pain in her lower belly, Saints damn her! She was nearly nine months pregnant. It was difficult to deal with power and politics without carrying a small human inside of her.

The pain worsens and she realizes that she cannot hope to proceed without sitting down… and then her water breaks.

Alina had not been expecting her husband to look terrified. She had also not expected to have such a difficult pregnancy.

Six hours later, Alina had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. The labor had been difficult only because Aleksander had caused quite a distraction by passing out when the baby arrived.

Alina was curled up with their son trying to get him to suckle when Aleksander recovered.

He walked into their bedroom and asked, “can I hold him?”

Alina is about to hand over their son but she stops midway, “have you ever held a baby before?”

Aleksander’s cheeks tinge with a faint pink.

“Just make sure you support his head and, dear, if you drop him I will personally kick your ass into Fjerda.”

He took the baby and gently held him, Alina could tell Aleksander was feeling something profoundly right now but she sat there in silence, letting him figure out what this meant to him.

“What do you want to name him?” Alina asked softly.

“Not Aleksander, I don’t wish to pass down my mistakes.”

“What about.. Alexi?”

“Is Alexi someone you know?”

“Knew, he was a kid in my regiment when I tried to cross the Fold.”

“An otkazat’sya?”

Alina swatted Aleksander’s shoulder, “Your issues with otkazat’sya are going to drive me spare.”

“Fine, what about… Illya?”

“We really should’ve had this conversation eight months ago. But I wouldn’t mind naming my son after a saint.”

“Illya it is then.”