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Chapter Text

Lan Wangji’s nightmares were always about losing someone. As a child, it was usually his mother – but strangely, he couldn’t quite recall her face anymore. He didn’t know if it was round or rather long, or if her lips were thin or plump; he only knew she was quick to laugh. Her voice remained with him for the longest time; soft and high, her laugh and giggles like golden bells. People said Lan Wangji reminded them to their father, cold and serious so he assumed his brother was more like their mother even if this couldn’t be said aloud. Her name was like a curse in the Cloud Recesses.

Years later, the nightmares turned into the fear of losing someone else, another precious person who he got to know when he was old enough to have his face burned into his memory. He had seen him pierced through by swords, eaten by the Xuanwu and torn apart by horses, a favoured execution method of the late Wen sect.

Lan Wangji startled awake gasping for air, his heart almost jumping out of his chest from fear that didn’t let him move. He didn’t know if it was the reality what he had seen or if it was a nightmare; ghouls tearing apart Wei Ying’s body in his cold dark cave on the Burial Mounds until nothing remained, not even his red hair ribbon. Lan Wangji wanted to save him, but he couldn’t move, his body too heavy from an invisible weight pinning him to the wall of the cave. He could only cry and scream, and Wei Ying saw him struggling. His last words were directed to him – get lost. Even in the last minutes of his life, Wei Ying didn’t want him, he didn’t even want to see him.

His senses sharpened slowly as he fully woke up. He laid in his own bed with a familiar weight on his chest, his arm around Wei Ying’s body, his breath against his neck as he snored quietly. Lan Wangji felt him drooling on his skin, but he didn’t dare to move, not being able to decide if this all wasn’t a dream again.

Maybe it was only a sweet dream that he married Wei Ying and made love every day. Only a cruel game of his mind for wishing a dead man to be back alive.

Slowly, he slid his arms around Wei Ying, trying to not move him too much in case this was only a dream. Wei Ying sighed in his sleep, shifting, his naked form pressing to Lan Wangji through the thin layer of his sleeping robe. The warmth of his body finally made Lan Wangji believe that this was reality, Wei Ying was alive and well, and they belonged to each other.

Gripping tightly onto Wei Ying’s body with an arm, he slipped his hand down on his body, mapping his muscles. While he never touched Wei Ying like this in his first life, he knew from the stolen looks that his old body was bigger, almost as big as him. One could sense the energy of his golden core radiating from his chest, the warmth and strength of it if they stepped closer to him. After giving away his core, Wei Ying became the shadow of his old self, just like many other war heroes.

Mo Xuanyu’s body was somewhat smaller and slenderer than Wei Ying used to be as he didn’t have much chance to develop his body – his golden core finished forming thanks to Wei Ying’s fervent training.

But no matter what body Wei Ying inhabited, Lan Wangji loved and cherished him.

His wandering hand reached the small of Wei Ying’s back then slid on his butt and squeezed it. A moan left Wei Ying’s lips and he rubbed himself to Lan Wangji’s body, still half asleep.

“Lan Zhan…” he muttered into his neck. “You’re so insatiable, you’ve already had me in the evening…”

Despite of his teasing remark, Wei Ying wrapped a leg around him, rubbing his groin to Lan Wangji’s side. His cheeks parted this way, and Lan Wangji’s hand slid lower on instinct, mapping the roundness of it. Sinfully, Wei Ying moaned, rocking his hips.

“Wei Ying…”

“Fine, husband, you can use me as you wish,” he sighed theatrically, but the way he moved spoke about willingness and want. But right now, Lan Wangji didn’t want anything more than to hold him close, feel his heartbeat and the heat of his body.

To feel that Wei Ying was alive.

Lan Wangji let his husband have his way with him, enjoying as his soft lips touched his neck, kissing, sucking and biting. Wei Ying took his earlobe between his teeth and bit on it until Lan Wangji groaned and squeezed him. Wei Ying’s hardness rubbed against his stomach as he climbed on him, taking his face between his hands and kissing him all over, on his lips, his nose, his brows and then his eyes and cheeks. He stopped there though, and Lan Wangji took the opportunity to breath in his scent deeply – it made him happy that Wei Ying had spent enough time in the jingshi to have the scent of the sandalwood incense soaked into his skin.

“Lan Zhan, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying.”

“I can taste your tears,” Wei Ying poked his cheeks. Lan Wangji grabbed his hand, sighing. He wrapped his arm around his husband and pulled him close until Wei Ying laid on him, his weight reassuring him that the bad dream was over. Wei Ying picked up his mood, stopping his teasing and didn’t struggle. Instead he cuddled to him, rubbing his shoulder.

“Tell me what bothers you, Lan Zhan.”

“It’s nothing,” Lan Wangji muttered, embarrassed that he couldn’t hide from Wei Ying that he wasn’t well. The more he thought the sillier he felt his nightmare. As long as he was alive and breathing, he wouldn’t let Wei Ying have such a cruel death again.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Wei Ying struggled free from his hold to cup his face between his hands. Lan Wangji couldn’t avoid his eyes and they told Wei Ying everything he needed to know. “Oh, Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying sighed softly, tilting their foreheads together.

“It’s silly.”

“Not silly if it makes you feel bad. The silly thing is that you think your husband would laugh at you for this.”

Lan Wangji shook his head with a sigh. Sure, Wei Ying wouldn’t laugh at him, but it was still hard to open up. It was as if cold stones were sitting in his chest and in his throat despite of the heat radiating from Wei Ying’s body on top of him. He tucked a stray hair behind Wei Ying’s ear, and his husband turned his head, pressing a kiss to his wrist.

“Why don’t you tell me about it? They say it won’t come back then.”

“Who says that?”

“My mother. It used to be effective for little Wei Ying so why not to try it?”

Lan Wangji took a deep breath. There was no point of saying no to Wei Ying – he always got what he wanted especially from him. He touched the corner of Wei Ying’s reassuring smile with his thumb to gather his words.

“I saw you dying, torn apart by ghouls.”

Wei Ying’s smile fell. Lan Wangji still wasn’t sure how much he remembered from his death; it wasn’t like they liked to talk about it. He assumed the memories came back like any other ones, piece by piece, maybe in form of dreams.

It was better that he didn’t mention he was also there, an active part of the dream, but he couldn’t move his body; he was unable to protect Wei Ying.

“Do you see that often?”

“Not really.”

“But you used to,” Wei Ying’s expression clouded as he sat back on Lan Wangji’s thighs. “Oh damn… What have I done again to trigger that nightmare?”

“Nothing. You can’t influence that.”

“There must be something… oh. Is it that day today? When I died?”

Lan Wangji rarely thought about that date anymore. It became irrelevant ever since Wei Ying was back with him. But now that he mentioned it, it all became clear.

Whenever the anniversary of Wei Ying’s death came, he used to burn incense for him, playing songs he thought he would like. Even the finished piece of Wangxian, wishing he had been brave enough to show it to him when Wei Ying wasn’t delirious from fever. When he was still alive.

Now, Wei Ying back with him, he forgot about the exact day, but his body reminded him in form of a nightmare.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Oh, Lan Zhan… I didn’t know. Is it strange that I don’t even remember the anniversary of my death?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Lan Wangji said, pulling Wei Ying down to his chest. “You’re here now.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” Wei Ying smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Clinging onto Lan Wangji’s shoulders, he rolled themselves until he was under him. “See? Pinned under you. I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”

Lan Wangji pressed his face into his chest. Wei Ying’s heartbeat was steady and loud against his ear, his skin warm and smooth, all living and healthy, his golden core evolving in a quick speed.

When he caught Wei Ying’s nipple between his thumb and index finger, Wei Ying made an adorable moan at the right twist. Lan Wangji still felt his erection pocking and teasing him.

“True. You’re staying here where it’s safe.”

“Oh, the mighty Hanguang-jun as my protector… I couldn’t wish a better man for the job,” Wei Ying purred, opening his legs wide. “I wonder that he wishes as payment… although I don’t have money. I fear I can’t offer anything else but my body. What about that, Hanguang-jun? Is it enough?”

Lan Wangji squeezed his waist. “We’ll see.”

“Your daily fee must be insane…” Wei Ying sighed, combing Lan Wangji’s hair back from his face. “Such a beautiful man protecting me is going to land me in a deep debt.”

“Then you stay here.”

“Oh… Hanguang-jun please be merciful with me. I’m not sure my poor body can take it if you regularly make me pay my debt.”

“No refunds,” Lan Wangji murmured into his skin. He felt a laugh rolling through Wei Ying’s body so he lightly bit his chest. Wei Ying moaned and bucked up his hip.

“So stern… I should start to repay it then I guess before it piles up too much.”

Lan Wangji hummed. Giving him a few more teasing bites, he moved downwards when he had Wei Ying squirming. Kissing down on Wei Ying’s stomach, he found all the ticklish spots. Wei Ying laughed, doing as if he wanted to get away, but he wasn’t really trying. Lan Wangji focused on the taste of his skin (meat, human, alive) and how flexible it was between his probing teeth. He licked into Wei Ying’s navel, leaving him gasping, his cock pushing against his neck.

Following the few hairs down to his groin with his nose, Lan Wangji pushed his face into Wei Ying’s pubic hair. Wei Ying was the warmest there, smelling of soap and his own musk, and Lan Wangji just breathed, wrapping his arms around his calves and pulling them over his shoulders.

It was comforting to have Wei Ying this close.

“Don’t let this bother you, but I’m quite uncomfortable like this,” Wei Ying said, patting his head. Then his hand left Lan Wangji’s hair, and he felt as it wrapped around his own cock, lazily moving it up and down to get some relief. Lan Wangji caught his wrist, making him whine. “Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji turned his head to nuzzle his cock. Wei Ying shifted under him to press him closer, and Lan Wangji gently unwrapped his fist, following then a line of vein with a fingertip. Wei Ying sighed.

“Oh, Lan Zhan, you teaser…”

Lan Wangji fought down a smile as he kissed the side of Wei Ying’s cock. There was desire, yes, but he was content to go slow now, enjoying that Wei Ying was really there, pinned under him where he belonged, his most vulnerable part of him exposed, fully trusting that Lan Wangji would take care of him.

And why would he disappoint him?

Shifting, he took the head of Wei Ying’s cock into his mouth. There was a chocked moan, and one of Wei Ying’s hands flew back into his hair.

“Ah, Lan Zhan! Warn a man before you do that!”

Following Wei Ying’s pleading groans, he wrapped his fingers around the base, taking him into his mouth as deep as he could without chocking. Wei Ying’s taste and smell filled his senses even more, his moans loud in the silence of the night, his muscles twitching under him. Lan Wangji worked on him lazily until Wei Ying became impatient enough to push on his head to urge him go quicker. Lan Wangji was quite smug about his skills of giving Wei Ying blowjobs, making him stumble over his words as he got lost in pleasure. Wei Ying tugged harshly on Lan Wangji’s hair as he came, shrieking; the sound should have been ridiculous and embarrassing, but it made Lan Wangji content that this was his doing. Wei Ying came undone like this only in his arms. He swallowed his seed and let Wei Ying go soft in his mouth as he petted his thigh.

“Oh, Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying sighed, removing his cock from his mouth when Lan Wangji didn’t move away. “Come up, quick, I want to kiss you.”

Lan Wangji pressed a closed mouthed kiss on his lips, making Wei Ying pout.

“I can’t believe your face grew thick enough to swallow that,” Wei Ying pinched his cheeks. “It must be my influence, I made pristine Hanguang-jun into a shameless expert in blowjobs.”

“I had a good teacher.”

“And a flatterer too,” Wei Ying grinned, his hands quickly wandering south, fingers closing around Lan Wangji’s hard cock and groping his ass. “But I really need to start to pay my debt.”

“You should,” Lan Wangji nuzzled his neck, tucking his head under Wei Ying’s chin and curling around his body. Wei Ying’s smart fingers had him gasping in minutes until he came with a sharp inhale all over Wei Ying’s hand and his stomach. He didn’t scold Wei Ying when he wiped his hand in his pants and licked off some of the seed from his fingers.

His teenage self never thought he would partake in such activities without feeling disgusted. His teenage self never thought he would find a soul fated to him.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, this was fun,” Wei Ying giggled, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “Do you feel better?”

“I do.”

“You’re no fun! I want to hear it properly!”

Lan Wangji pressed his face behind Wei Ying’s ear where he knew how sensitive he was. He couldn’t help but smile. “I am very happy now, Wei Ying.”

The effect didn’t disappoint him – there was a full body shudder, and Wei Ying pressed closer, touched by his words. It was all cosy, warm and sticky, but it made Lan Wangji believe that Wei Ying was really there, alive and well, in his arms because they married. Wei Ying rubbed his back and kissed his hair as if he wanted to link their bodies even closer.

“Lan Zhan… you know that I’d never leave you ever again, right? I would crawl back to life for a second or third time if I must.”

Lan Wangji squeezed him, curling around him even more. Their bodies fitted together like pieces of puzzle. He felt childish for the question suddenly slipping out of his lips.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Wei Ying nodded with a gentle smile. “Let’s try to sleep, alright? Just hold me tight, I won’t go anywhere.”

Lan Wangji didn’t see any more dreams that night. He watched Wei Ying drifting into sleep, eyelashes fluttering until his body was completely limp and heavy in his arms.

He was lucky to be blessed with a second chance to be happy with Wei Ying.