Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nothing and Everything- Part 1

For DannyMay Day 17- Childhood, Day 21 Ooze, Day 24 Mask, 

The being’s existence is simple. Colors, shapes, and sounds. Action and dull emotions. But no words. Words do not make sense.

Sister chases him; it sends bubbling pleasant feelings through him. She laughs, one of the few things he understands. He would laugh too if he could make noise. Her mouth moves, making other sounds. Ones he does not understand. (They are words though he does not know that yet.)

This is existence. 

Some things are good but few. Outside. The warm yellow light. Green tickling things and colorful soft things. Water. A bubbling sound. Inside. Soft bed when Sister lets him nap with her. Wood blocks. Books. Paper. Crayons.

Many things are bad.

Confusion. Sister talks and sometimes her lips turn down, her voice soft and sad when he does not respond. He does not understand why and it makes him feel heavy and slow….sad(?).

Distress. Master is in the lab. He does not like the cold metal lab. Master crosses his arms and frowns. His tone is disappointed and harsh. He commands, demanding. Invisible, intangible, ectoenergy.

The being must obey. It all hurts, makes him tired. But he must obey or Master yells and Sister cries. It is not so bad. But bigger and smaller is the worst. Small is….uncomfortable. Everything is too big around him, his skin too tight.

But big….he stretches. It feels good, right until...he drips, oozes. It hurts, hurts, hurts! He’s weak and small again. Small is not so bad.

One day, Master takes him somewhere new. Lots of buildings and people, not dripping, floaty people like him. More like Master and Sister. Everything is so much. It makes him feel bubbly and confused at the same time. It is strange.

Sister phases inside a building. Soon after, Master points and commands. He understands the motion; he must obey Master. He flies past Sister and she chases. He feels a bubbly feeling; it is like one of their games that makes Sister smile. Someone else flies with Sister, chasing him. They are out of the building. Sister and the boy both shoot and he dodges, flying faster. 

Master appears in front before they catch him. Master hurts the boy and he falls down, asleep. Sister looks happy; she made Master happy. Master takes the boy and they all fly back to home.

He watches as Master puts the boy in a box. His head just sticks out. Master tells Sister to wait outside. Master waves him over and points at the boy. Master speaks and his voice is demanding. He says the same word, the same command, over and over again, pointing at the boy but the being does not understand. Master changes- from the pale skinned Master to the blue skinned Master. But both are the same; both are harsh and mean. They change back and forth, saying the same word. Back and forth. The being tilts his head. It is hard, so hard, so confusing. The most confusing thing he’s ever tried to understand but Master is commanding him and he must obey. The being will obey though he doesn’t quite understand.

The boy groans, his face twitching and Master waves the being away. The boy wakes up, glaring at Master. He says something, angry while the being buzzes around his head.  Master returns the anger and snaps his fingers. The being flies to him and stretches. He’s big and drippy. An eye falls out. It turns to ooze on the ground and he snarls ‘cause it hurts, hurts, hurts. But Master commands so he obeys. 

The boy looks at the being, his eyes wide. He says something and laughs but not happy, like Sister when they play. Master says something angry and points. He snaps his fingers and the being understands. 

He is small again. It feels better and he flies to the boy. Master commands so he turns intangible and phases inside the boy’s head.

The being blinks. It is like he is big but he did not stretch. And something is different about...everything, how it looks, but he can’t tell what. And his body feels different. Or….not his body. The body he is inhabiting. The being understands that now, though he didn’t seconds before.

After seconds, there is resistance. Pain. Pain. Tugging, pushing. But not the being’s body. Something around and in him yells. Words attack him. And it hurts, his mind and his small real body. The being squirms, wraths, undulating. Something tries to hold him still. But it hurts, hurts, hurts.

The head of the body he’s in shakes hard, back and forth, up and down. Is it the being or the boy he’s in? The words assault him again, images, memories. It’s too much, so much! 

There’s a push. The boy, the other mind- yes that’s it, the other mind is where the words are from- wants him to leave. But he cannot. Master commanded him. 

The being pulls in deeper, closer. The words, the words, they attack. They hurt. It’s so much, too much for him to understand. But….

He burrows, rooting himself, sinking deeper in his host’s body and mind. Closer to his host’s, Danny’s, core.

That word, that name, the being prickles with shock. He understands. The words….make sense. He understands some and more and more. He’s buried under and inside of the words and images, the memories. His host is afraid, terrified. The being…..his host calls him a clone (?)....is terrified, but he must obey and make Master happy. 

He buries himself deeper, wrapping the words and images around him. There are so many memories- happy and sad and angry and scared. They are beautiful, full of emotions and color. They are big and real so unlike what the being knows. The clone wishes he understood, wishes they were his. He pulls closer to the core, the energy at the center of his host.

The body stops writhing as physical eyes close. Inside, all goes black.

For Danny, being overshadowed is terrifying and violating. He feels the clone writhing inside him, terrified and in pain. Every mental thrash sends agony through Danny’s mind. He mentally clasps his hands around the tiny clone, as if to stop the movement and pluck it out. It fails. Danny pushes and the clone burrows into him, sending a spike of pain. He can feel it sift through his memories and his thoughts, its curiosity blooming into wonder. 

Danny mentally tenses, terrified. He pushes and recoils, getting a mental flash from the overshadowing clone. The girl clone, Danielle chasing him….it. Laying on the bed and watching Sister color. Mentally crying with surprise, Danny pulls away. Okay, memories. He can see the clone’s memories and feel its emotions. And they’re so simple, so broken that it would break Danny’s heart if he wasn’t so scarred. 

And the clone can see his memories. The boy feels the clone looking over a memory of his 10th birthday. Then another spike of pain as the clone buries itself farther. Stop! Danny yells at the clone, terrified. He lashes out. And the clone replies and it’s almost….words. He must obey Master.

Danny shivers. This...this is bad. The clone buries deeper and Danny can feel its core, so broken (but so very like his), very close to his. The halfa yanks but the clone claws into him. Danny feels its (his?) desire to understand, to experience. He feels it slipping closer and closer, its core brushing his. 

To close, to close! Danny pulls away, writhing mentally and physically. He pushes. Out. Out. Out! But the clone pulls. There’s a crash, a pulsing, electricity. It hurts, hurts, hurts!

All goes black.

Blue eyes blinked open. He’s somewhere different. Water, bubbles, and...what’s that? He tilts his head, small chubby hands reaching for the floating yellow object. It squeezes and he giggles, a high pitched and happy sound. He startles slightly. He just made a noise? But...he can’t make sound. He giggles again. No, he can. He’s just being silly. He squeezes the object again.

“Oh. You like your ducky, don’t you?” A woman’s voice says.

He blinks; there’s someone in front of him. Purple eyes, red hair, a nice smile. Who? Something tickles his brain. It’s…..

“Mommy!” He waves the yellow thing, the ducky at her. “Look!”

Mommy laughs and bops his nose. “I see your ducky.” 

The little boy laughs again, squeezing his ducky as Mommy smiles at him. He plays for a bit, splashing and laughing. Mommy picks up the bubbles and blows on them. They fly in his face and the woman laughs as the little boy blows bubbles at her.

The little boy blinks, feeling sleepy. He looks at his wrinkly hands. He’s been in the tub forever. “Time to rinse off, Danny.” Mommy says, grabbing a cup.

The little boy blinks again. Danny….that’s his name. But...no….he doesn’t have a name. He’s a cl…..

Mommy puts a hand on his head. “Close your eyes, Danny.”

Blue eyes meet hers and he does what she says. Mommy gently pours warm on his head, washing the bubbles out of his hair. She hums, softly talking to Danny. ‘Cause that’s his name. This is his Mommy and she calls him Danny so that’s his name.

“All done.” Mommy gently picks him up and wraps him in a towel. It’s got a hood, like an elephant. She dries him off and carries him into his bedroom. Mommy helps him put his spaceship pajamas on. Danny smiles sleepily; Mommy let him pick out those. 

Mommy walks him to Mommy and Daddy’s room. He sits on the bed when a big man in orange comes into his room. Danny smiles. “Dadd

Before he can answer, a little girl with red hair like Mommy’s comes in. “Danny!” She holds out a book. “You wanna read this one?”

The little boy looks down and his grin widens; there’s a brown puppy on the front. “This one Jazzy!” 

It’s the bestest book ever and Jazzy is the bestest sister ever. She sits on the bed with him. They move so Daddy can sit behind and Mommy beside him. Daddy wraps big arms around Danny and Jazzy. He reads the book and the little boy smiles, blinking sleepily. Daddy does the voices, his deep voice gentle and nice.

Danny snuggles with his sister and his daddy. The bubbly feeling rises in his gut. He’s so sleepy but so happy. He's never been so warm and safe, never ever. And it feels so nice. Not like...like….He can’t remember. But it’s fine. Mommy, Daddy, and Jazz are here and they are the bestest.

Danny falls asleep.

Mommy is the best mommy ever. She kisses his boo-boos, cuts the crust off his sandwiches, plays with him, gives him baths. 

Daddy is the best daddy ever. He reads him bedtime stories and teaches him stars and how to make fudge. Daddy scares away the monsters and ghosties in the closet.

And Jazzy’s the best sister ever. He plays with him and tries to read to him. She’s learning and doesn’t read as good as Daddy but Danny listens to her and loves it. 

He steals Bearbert and runs around the house. “Catch me Jazzy!”

“Danny!!” Jazzy chases him. 

And they both laugh, even if Jazzy crosses her arms and pouts, like she’s mad. He sighs; Jazz is the best sister….but…..a little girl with black hair like him pops in his head. Another Sister? But….she’s not here. He can’t remember….Danny goes back to running from Jazzy.

Mommy, Daddy, and Jazzy are the best. They hug him and kiss him and play with him. Danny loves them so much and they love Danny. He’s happy and safe. Everything is good.

Most of the time, it’s good.

Danny giggles on the livingroom floor where Daddy is tickling him. The metal door in the kitchen creaks open and the little boy stops laughing. He swallows, shivering. The door is scarry. It leads to Mommy and Daddy’s lab. Danny does not like Mommy and Daddy’s lab. 

Daddy leads him down the stairs. “Come on Danno. Let’s show you what we’re working on.”

The man helps him into goggles and a suit like his and Mommies. He points, seriously. “Now don’t touch anything unless me or Mommy tell you too.”

Mommy squats in front of him. “We want you to be safe, baby so you don’t come down here without us.”

Danny nods. “Yes Mommy.”

He looks at the glowly green stuff Mommy and Daddy work with. It tickles something in his brain. Metal, cold, whirling sounds. He doesn’t like the lab. It’s scary like...like….like….Green, Oozing and Pain. Pain. His head hurts.

The little boy cries, ‘cause he’s scared. Mommy hugs him and Daddy softly ruffles his hair. They lead him upstairs and make cookies. He doesn’t want to go in the lab for a long time.

Mommy bought him new clothes and shoes. Daddy says he’s getting so big. They take him to the park, when Jazzy’s at school. He likes to play with the other kids but there’s no other kids here today.

He has the sandbox all to himself. Danny hums and sings to himself while he plays. The little boy scopes sand into his bucket. He’s making a sand castle like he sees on TV when kids go to the beach. He packs the sand down and turns it over. He smiles; it looks really good.

Suddenly, Danny shivers, the wind blowing by him. It feels like eyes are watching him. He flinches. Something’s in the corner of his eye- white and blue, glowing red. He tenses and turns. He raises an eyebrow. There’s nothing there. Then he shrugs and turns back to his bucket.

He freezes again. There’s another boy sitting across from him in the sandbox. About four years old, like him. Jeans and a spiderman shirt, like his. Wait…..exactly like his.

Danny’s eyes meet the boy’s blue eyes and his jaw drops. The boy looks just like Danny.

Danny’s tummy flops with confusion. “Who are you?” He whispers.

The other boy crosses his arms and frowns. “You know.”

Danny raises a brow; he doesn’t know. “Why do you look like me?”

The other boy glares and rolls his eyes. “That’s rich.” He points, meanly. “You look like me.”

Confusion growing, Danny wrinkles his forehead. Isn’t that what he just said? The boy looks like him and he looks like the boy. But why? Danny tilts his head, looking at the other boy. He’s confused; he’s never seen someone who looks just like him before. Except….yes he has. Something tickles in his brain. He doesn’t have a twin brother but….there’s another word. It starts with the letter…..C. Yeah, Mommy’s teaching him letters, but he can’t remember the word…..or maybe he hasn’t learned it yet.

The other boy still looks mad and Danny sighs. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Danny.” The boy narrows his eyes. 

“That’s my name too!” Danny’s eyes light up, still confused but excited too.

“No it’s not!” The other Danny yells.

Danny frowns and crosses his arms. “Yes, it is.” Why is the other boy being so mean?

“No. it’s not.” Danny opens his mouth to argue but the other Danny waves his hands. “I don’t want to fight with you. Just leave.”

“What?” Danny asks. Now he’s confused again.

“Get out. You don’t belong here.” He pinches his nose, like Mommy does when she’s annoyed.

Danny looks down at his shovel and pail. “I don’t wanna get out of the sandbox.”

The other Danny frowns, expression softer. “Not the sandbox.” He waves his arms around pointing at everything. “This….isn’t your life. 

Danny wrinkles his brow. “But…” Before he asks, a voice calls behind him.

“Danny.” He turns around to find Mommy walking towards him. She asks kindly. “Who are you talking to?”

Can’t Mommy see? The little boy turns back, frowning. Then he freezes again. The other Danny’s misty and almost see through, like a ghost from one of Daddy’s stories. He blinks at Danny for a moment and he can’t tell if the boy’s mad or sad. Then the other Danny disappears. 

Danny swallows. “Just my imaginary friend.” 

Mommy asks who that is and Danny tells her about the little ghost boy who looks like him. She doesn’t look happy about that and grumbles. “I told your father he shouldn’t tell you those stories. Ghosts don’t make good friends, Danny. Ever imaginary ones.”

Danny doesn’t tell her he’s not sure the other Danny was imaginary.

Danny thinks about his weird look-a-like for a while after that. But he’s almost five and doesn’t have a very long attention span so he forgets by the time he goes to bed that night.

Soon it’s summer and Jazzy’s out of school so they go on a long trip. They drive through the mountains. They’re tall and green and there’s lots of curves in the road. Mommy and Daddy let him and Jazzy watch cartoons on the DVD players and they stop at a pretty place with picnic tables for lunch. 

They drive forever and ever and the land looks flatter, more like home. They stop at restaurants and a museum. They sleep at a campsite and roast marshmallows. They drive more in the morning and then Danny sees the best thing ever.

The ocean. He wants to splash in it right now.

“Danny-boy. Wait, you have to change first.” Daddy walks him to the changing rooms, lets him put his swim trunks on by himself, and makes him put on sunscreen. It takes forever!

Daddy finishes rubbing the sunscreen on his back. “There you go son. Let’s go!”

Danny runs out in front of Mommy and Daddy with Jazzy. It’s so bright and sunny! He runs into the surf before he thinks to take his flip flops off. But the water’s so good! It smells like salt and there’s shells and sand and seagulls. It’s amazing!

He takes his shoes off and runs across the hot sand to where Mommy and Daddy are setting up the beach chairs and umbrella. He leaves his shoes and goes back to the water. He splashes and jumps over waves and chases little fish. 

He watches the seagulls and digs in the sand with Jazzy. She likes finding the little purple clams and watching them bury themselves back into the sand. They make a sandcastle with Mommy and Daddy. For a second, Danny thinks about the sandbox at home and the strange other Danny. He blinks, seeing another black haired five year old playing near the surf. Danny goes back to playing in the sand and doesn’t see the other boy again that day.

In the fall he starts kindergarten. The teacher is nice and teaches him numbers and letters and reads to everyone. They go to music and the library and the computer lab and recess. It’s fun, most of the time. 

But the best thing is meeting his best friend, Tucker. Tucker wears glass and a hat everyday. He loves Star Wars and the computer lab is his favorite. Danny and Tucker play together at recess everyday and go play at each other’s houses and the park on weekends. They laugh and talk and play tag and astronauts. They learn together and watch cartoons on Saturday. And Danny’s so happy.

Kindergarten ends, summer pass, and he’s in first grade. A different teacher, new lessons but Tucker’s in his class and they sit beside each other. Tucker’s mommy and daddy let him go stargazing with Danny and his mommy and daddy and Jazzy. It’s so fun. Danny loves the stars; they’re so pretty. He tries to teach Tucker some constellations. He manages to learn a few and it makes Danny so happy.

More time passes. Summer. Second Grade. Danny’s getting taller; he can reach the counters in the kitchen now. They’re learning the planets in school but Danny already knows those. More school and playing. 

Summer again. Danny goes with his parents and sister to Aunt Alicia’s house. They catch fireflies; they tickle on Danny’s hands and glow like stars. And the stars…...they’re so clear and bright out in the country. Danny actually sees the Milky Way for the first time and it’s amazing.

They go home. Summer ends. Third grade. Another teacher but Tucker’s still in his class. School’s still fun and Danny’s still happy.

But not everything is always good. The older Danny gets the more he sees that. The lab still gives him the creeps. Mommy and Daddy spend a lot of time down there and sometimes they fight. They make up after though and everything goes back to normal. Sometimes he and Jazzy fight too and Mommy gives them a timeout and there’s no cartoons after school. But he and Jazzy hug and make up.

And sometimes…..kids at school are mean. There’s a kid named Dash and he’s the worst. 

“Hey four-eyes!” Dash shouts and pushes down Tucker.

The boy falls down and his glasses fly off his face. Dash and his friends laugh as Tucker blindly feels for his glasses.

“Stop laughing!” Danny demands, then his eyes widen as Dash goes to step on Tucker’s glasses. He pushes the blonde boy away and grabs his friend’s glasses. “Here Tucker.”

The other boy takes the glasses and right after, Dash pushes Danny. “Don’t touch me, freak!”

Danny narrows his eyes, wanting to push back but the teacher steps in first. Both get off with just a warning but Dash glares daggers at Danny and Tucker walk away.

The bully keeps messing with Danny, calling him a freak with crackpot parents. It pricks at Danny’s heart painfully, and makes him angry. He wants to lash out right back but he bits his tongue. But Dash doesn’t like to be ignored.

“Fenturd! Get off my monkey bars.” The blond boy yells.

Danny shakes his head, from where he sits on top. It’s not Dash’s monkey bars but the other boy isn’t having it. He climbs to the top and, before Danny can react, pushes him off the monkey bars.  

Yelping, Danny hits the ground, holding an arm out to stop himself. Something in his arm crunches and he cries out in pain. It hurts, hurts, hurts! The pain radiates through his body and he blinks through the fresh tears. Someone’s standing across from him. Black hair, blue eyes. He’s glaring at Dash. Yelping in pain again, Danny looks down at his arm. It’s bent the wrong way. The black haired boy looks at him, eyes wide and frowning, almost sad. But Danny can’t figure out who he is. Pain! Danny looks at his arm again, It’s green. Green and Drippy. It hurts, hurts, hurts. Like..like..like….metal...cold...fangs. His head hurts. His arm hurts. It hurts. There’s…..something. He can’t….he can’t….

Tucker runs to him, straight through the misty black haired boy. His best friend is calling for the teacher and Danny looks down at his arms, bruised an ugly color and bent wrong but not green.

He blinks and he’s at the doctor’s getting an X-ray. A cast. His arm is broken. They go home and Mommy gives him some of the pain medicine the doctor gave him and kisses him good night. He blinks sleepily once she leaves, gaze falling on a misty, black haired figure. The other Danny. The maybe imaginary figure crosses his arms but doesn’t say anything before blinking out of existence.

He was there earlier, Danny muses, when his arm broke. The green. Metal….Danny falls asleep before he can remember.

Something or someone is following Danny. At school, the playground, at Alecia’s when they visit during the summer, even at space camp the summer after 4th grade. Black and white hair. Neon green glow. A boy his age, always his age. Lingering in the shadows at home, in the doorway to the lab. He never speaks, just gives Danny angry or sad looks.

There’s….something else too. Not as often or pervasive as the other Danny but still at the edge of his vision or in his dreams. Long hair, blue skin, a red glow. A fanged grin. Whispers of something he’s supposed to do. It makes Danny shiver. Danny doesn’t want to believe in ghosts but he thinks he might be haunted. 

That is...when he remembers. The strange things flow in and out of his perception. He sees and he forgets. He sees and he forgets. But something is building.

It’s a cold October night. Finally Halloween. Danny’s super excited to go trick or treating, even if his dad is blabbering about ghosts. The ten year old’s practically vibrating with excitement, dressed up as Spiderman with a mask.

“Come on Danno!” Dad is just about as excited as him. The man pulls him along, with Mom and Jazz in front of them. 

“I’m going to get so much candy!” Danny grins.

He skips around a corner, taking in all the decorations- pumpkins, skeletons, fake spider webs, mummies- and all the dressed up people.

“Great Plasmius costume!” His dad exclaims. Danny pauses, stiffening. His eyes fall on the person his dad’s pointing at. “I loved the Vengeful Vampire’s movies in college.”

A man wearing a white suit and cap stands with his back to Danny, his black hair in wicked-looking points. Suddenly he turns around and Danny’s heart skips a beat. The man’s face is corpse blue with blood red eyes. He grins wickedly with fanged teeth.

Suddenly, the street’s dark and empty, leaving Danny alone with his heart pounding out of his chest.

“Remember what you are suppose to do, you stupid boy.” The vampire hisses.

Danny swallows. “I don’t….”

The man yells. “I didn’t make you to play pretend! Do as I told you!” Floating into the air, the vampire lunges towards him but before his teeth can dig into Danny’s neck, a neon green ball of light hits the floating figure in the gut and he disappears.

A white haired boy with neon green eyes floats in front of Danny, who swallows. His hands shake. “Thank you.”

The ghost (Danny doesn’t want to believe in ghosts but there’s no denying what this boy is) just glares at him, but with less heat than Plasmius. “Take off your mask.”

Danny obeys without question, dropping his Spiderman masks on the ground. 

The ghost’s expression hardens. “No. Take off your mask.”

Danny bits his lip. “I’m...I’m not wearing one.”

“Yes, you are. Stop looking like me!” The ghost balls his fists subtly.

The human tilts his head. “But I don’t look like you. You’re a ghost.”

In a flash of light, the ghost turns into a human boy. The other Danny. Now ten years old and wearing a spiderman suit.

Danny’s jaw drops, his previous fear turning into confusion. “But...you’re a ghost.”

“You’re a ghost.” The other Danny wrinkles his nose.

“No, I’m not.” Danny says, simply.

“Are you serious?!” The other Danny holds out his arms. “This has gone on long enough. Just stop this.”

Danny wrinkles his brow in confusion. “Stop what?”

The other Danny’s eyes widen as he waves up and down Danny’s body. “This! Stop looking like me. You don’t look like me!”

“But this is what I look like.” Danny starts.

“You’re not me!” The other Danny balls his fists. “Stop pretending to be me! Get out!”

Danny backs up, fear rising. “I don’t understand.”

The other Danny stalks towards him. “Of course not! You’re just a stupid-”

“Danny?” Dad’s voice cuts through the confrontation. The boy turns towards the voice and his dad waves at him. “Are you coming son?”

Danny turns back and the other Danny is gone. He goes back to trick or treating with his family, quickly forgetting about the confrontation. He doesn’t see his look-a-like or the vampire for a long time.