Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Life was a lot easier when he was playing at being Present Mic.

His twin brother was rich and loved with friends and a husband and three jobs. He never went hungry or went a week without bathing or had to spend all his scraped up change to buy medicine so a cut wouldn’t get infected by his own dirty skin.

Hizashi was perfect, the sun itself. His brother Hikage? Not so much.

It wasn’t like he would get paid for hero work that was attributed to his brother. Wasn’t like the work he did when his brother called for his help would ever result in money in his pocket. Hard to get money as Hikage when everyone only saw Hizashi. Oh, he could probably guilt his brother into helping. Paying for an apartment, sending food, all that ‘basic essentials’ stuff, but no matter how his stomach ached or how his body itched from his own filth he just… He couldn’t do it. It felt wrong to even consider. What right does a shadow have, to ask it’s body where to walk? So, he suffered. Suffered and waited until his phone (the one thing Hizashi had ever given him and insisted on paying for) dinged with the only message his brother ever sent him nowadays.

Can you take my place this week?

And of course, he always said yes. It was his duty. His one purpose. And his one chance at a full stomach.

As always, they met outside Hizashi and Shouta’s shared apartment. Hizashi handed him a plastic bag from a general store down the street, likely his cover story for leaving this early, and flashed his signature sun-bright grin. “Hey, ‘Kage, thank you for doing this bro, for real.”

He hugged his brother without thinking, squeezing him tight enough that Hizashi squeaked. He probably shouldn’t, but… But it felt nice to hear his own name. And only Hizashi knew to use it.

Hizashi patted his head. “Dude, get off! You smell like swamp water!” Hikage started to back off, already apologising, but then Hizashi hugged him back, leaning back enough to lift him off his feet. “Swampy or no, you’re still my little bro.”

“Dude, it was like, by a minute.”

“Which makes me a minute older.”

Hizashi set him down, ruffled his hair, and turned away. “I’ll be at the studio if you need me!”

“Yeah!” He wouldn’t bother Hizashi, even if he did need him, because it wasn’t his place to need things. He headed in, using his own key to let himself inside, calling out in Hizashi’s voice, “Yo! Sho! You are never gunna believe what happened on the way back!”

Shouta shuffled out of the bedroom, raising his arms when he got close but stopping short, nose wrinkled. “You…. Fell in a ditch full of rancid water?”

He managed to keep his bright grin. “Someone’s Quirk misfired, actually. I uh… Don’t know if it can be washed off.” It was amazing how many excuses he could come up with for this smell.

“Well go try.” Shouta took the plastic bag from his hand and shuffled off, dragging his feet like he hadn’t slept in days. Hikage, running on about three hours of sleep, skipped off to the bathroom.

And by God, it felt good to be clean.

By the time he got out, he was pink from too hot water and scrubbed hard enough to feel raw, but he liked it. It was better than that damn itching. And he smelled pretty much ‘normal’ now thanks to Hizashi’s borderline obsession with hair and skin care products. Whatever was left of that odd damp smell that came with living in what was basically a concrete box underground he covered with Hizashi’s cologne. And, wearing Hizashi’s clothes, Hizashi’s smile, Hizashi’s hair, he successfully got rid of any small thing that would mark him Hikage.

“Hey, Shouta! Come smell me!”

He bounded into the kitchen, grabbing Shouta as soon as he was close enough and spinning him around once before just cuddling him like he was an oversized teddy bear. The man in question simply patted Hikage’s arm and grunted. “Aww, what’s up grumpy? Still asleep?”

“God, I wish.”

“For the eternal sleep named Death?”

“Yes.”

“Mood.” Hikage kissed Shouta’s cheek before getting breakfast for himself, eating quickly even though he knew all this food after starving would hurt. But he couldn’t help it. How was he supposed to help it? He’d been running on a few scraps from restaurant garbage cans for three weeks now, what else was he supposed to do when surrounded by fresh food that no one would hurt him for taking?

“Slow down.” Shouta hit him gently on the back of the head. “That gives you stomach aches.”

Now that made Hikage freeze entirely. Hizashi had an iron stomach, in all the years he’d known him (and he’d known him since before birth), Hizashi had never, not once, had a bad reaction to eating anything, quickly or otherwise. Which meant that Shouta, unintentionally, was talking about Hikage. A strange shiver went up Hikage’s spine, the idea that Shouta had been around him long enough to learn things about him and mistake that for his husband was… Uncomfortable in a way he couldn’t name. What other things that were purely Hikage did Shouta think of when around his husband? What kind of imprint had Hikage had on Shouta’s life?

He shuffled in place. He didn’t like the idea of being known like that, he wasn’t supposed to be seen or thought of, only there. After all, when was the last time you sought out your shadow? It simply wasn’t natural.

He cleaned up the dishes he’d dirtied. His stomach churned, already rebelling, but he grit his teeth and fought the urge to whine. He would stop expressing any feelings of discomfort or pain. He had to minimise his presence.

On the drive to work, Hikage faked being alright and made dumb jokes at Shouta until he managed to get a snicker from him. He kissed him goodbye before they went their separate ways for separate classes, a very short peck that Hikage ended as quickly as physically possible, practically sprinting away after. He was glad when he got to enter Hizashi’s classroom and take control, easily assuming the role of teacher.

This was his favorite thing of his brother’s life to take part in. There was no husband trying to kiss him, no fans asking strange questions on the broadcast, no hundreds of autographs on patrol, just a small room, a lesson, and rows of bored students wishing they were anywhere but in English class.

Truly a paradise on Earth.

He handed out a stack of papers, letting the students shuffle them around until everyone had one. “Alright lil listeners!” God, he hated his brother’s vocal tics. “All I need you to do is write down the proper answers to the questions on that paper. And remember it’s double sided! Starting now!” He propped his head on his hands and watched them, wondering if any of them would try and help their neighbor. This was school, of course, and until now they’d been beat over the head with Helping = Cheating, but at what point in their lives would they not be able to turn to their friend and say “I need your help”? Hikage wanted to help them live after school, not just in it. So, he’d been trying to break that I Can’t Help Or Be Helped mentality.

Tetsutetsu, loudest person in the class and, seemingly, one of the more scatterbrained seemed to be thinking intensely about something. Hikage watched him, willed him to understand. If anyone would risk it all to help a friend, it would be this boy, so maybe that extended to the classroom too… He glanced up and caught Hikage’s gaze. Hikage just smiled at him, a warm expression that was in no way his brother’s blinding grin. Tetsutetsu narrowed his eyes slightly, his ridiculously full lashes nearly making eye contact an impossibility. Then he nodded once and wriggled in his seat, getting himself turned around. Chin on the back of his chair, he spoke to Kuroiro, a boy with night black skin that made him disappear in a dark room. Kuroiro made a harsh hand motion, casting a worried glance towards Hikage. Even from this far, Hikage could hear Tetsutetsu’s “Don’t worry bro, it’s chill.”

The ones immediately next to Tetsutetsu were all giving him worried glances that bordered on fear. Were they really so scared of sharing what they knew? School systems really were a bitch, huh? But, when they all looked to Hikage, saw him doing nothing as Tetsutetsu and Kuroiro shared answers and talked each other through things, they edged closer to each other and did likewise. It spread quickly through the class. Papers were passed, words were spoken over heads, explanations given to one friend or a whole squad of them, each assistance bolder than the last as it became clear that Hikage had no intention of stopping them.

When it had all quieted down, Hikage stood up. “Everyone done? No questions blank?” He got a round of “Yes sir!”s and a stack of papers that he sat and started to grade, right then and there. He already knew the correct answers, really he was just scanning to make sure they were all identical. They were. He grinned at them. “Well done you all! Perfect scores all around. Guess you really are listeners, eh?” A general chuckle from them. “Now, which one of you cats wants to tell me why I let you share answers?”

Tetsutetsu’s hand, predictably enough, shot up. “Because you wanted to take it easy on us today?”

He couldn’t help it. He laughed. “No, but that’s a good guess, Tets’! Who’s next?”

Tsunotori this time, one hoof clacking against the floor like she thought her raised hand wouldn’t be enough to get his attention. “Is it because it’s more realistic?”

“Elaborate, my dear Ponyboy!”

“Well, when are we gunna have to fix grammar or spelling mistakes without some kind of help? A thesaurus, Google, a friend, even a passerby that knows the language would probably be willing to help to a certain degree.”

“Bingo!” His quirk jumped out a bit from his excitement (God, he loved it when they understood) and the papers went flying from the sound wave. “Woopsies! Apologies, listeners. That is exactly right, Tsunotori. That, and if you can’t ask for help, then you don’t really learn. It stops being about what you understand and starts being about how well you memorised what I gave you right before class, ya know?! Now who learned somethin’ new today from your friends?”

Almost every person raised their hand and he grinned, really grinned, out of happiness, not imitation. “Now, isn’t that just wonderful?”

“Hey, uh…” Tetsutetsu half stood in his seat. “Are all our tests and stuff gunna be like this too?”

“Maybe! Ask me before we start and I’ll answer you then, alright?”

They took that as fair and he moved on. It was time to teach them phrases and those bitches could get mad confusing, so he wanted to spend most of their time on it today, and all of next time. Tsunotori got it quicker than the others. She just had a gift for language.

He truly enjoyed his classes and loved the students (even if they didn’t know him), but three hours is not a lot of sleep and by the time the bell rang he was ready to collapse. He waited until all his students left the classroom before following suit, just in case one of them had a question, then he made a beeline for the teacher’s lounge, hoping to spend his blank period sleeping on the couch before his next class. God, and he had all second years for the rest of today… No shade to them, of course not, but… Well, they tended to be a lot more nihilistic than the first years.

He staggered into the small room with a shivering sigh of relief, blind to everything but the Couch. He collapsed on it without even taking off his sunglasses, whining in relief as he finally got to be horizontal and relaxed. He was almost asleep… So close to the sweet release of Death’s Free Trial… But the door opened and a Feeling overcame him, strong enough to set every nerve in his body on fire and he jerked his head up, twisting around to see-

All Might. All Might was there, in all his massive glory, walking through the door that he had to crouch to fit into.

Hikage had known, of course, that All Might had begun to teach at UA. He’d nearly passed out when he’d read the news. All Might? The absolute love of his lonely life? At the same school his brother taught at? And yet somehow, he never even considered the idea that they would cross paths. It had seemed sacrilegious to even think it in passing. After all, what right had he to look upon the face of he who had to be God’s most favored?

But here he was. Right here. And Hikage was currently loafing on a couch like a fat tabby cat.

All Might grinned at him, “Mic! How’s your kids?”

The students. Talk about the students. Just make your tongue move. “They- They’re doing wonderfully. They don’t like English too much, but they’re learning it well.”

“Marvellous.” All Might shut the door behind him carefully, like he was worried about breaking it. Considering his size, that might have been a legitimate concern. As soon as it was shut, his shoulders slumped slightly, almost as in relief, and Hikage watched, dumbstruck, as something like steam started to rise from the man’s tanned skin and then all at once-

There was just a weak, slumped over man who looked nearly too sick to be standing. All Might shuffled over to the couch that was not occupied by Hikage’s entire body and sat heavily, resting his thin arms on his knees with a tired sigh.

And there was no doubt that this was All Might, though he could hardly be called mighty. Hikage could feel it, as surely as he could feel his own heart pounding in his chest. Because that frantic heart still pulled, still struggled with all its power towards him. Without his strength, without his size, Hikage’s heart still yearned.

All Might looked up at him. His eyes were almost hidden in the shadows of his own brow so thin he was, but even now they burned, as blue as the sky and as bright as the sun itself. His bangs hung down in his face, like even his hair didn’t have the strength to stand as he was. He blew one to the side a bit, not that it did much other than make Hikage’s heart miss a beat. “I know I’m not exactly… Nice to look at like this…”

Oh no, oh God, Hikage had been staring and All Might had gotten the entirely wrong idea.

Inside, he was panicking. What was wrong with him? Was he sick? Hurt? Dying? Who knew? All the teachers? Did any of the students know? Dear God, what would happen if this got out? Was… Was he really fit to be the number one hero? If… If his Quirk let him put up a… a glamour of sorts… Did that really protect him from his own strength if this was who he really was?

He was shocked, of course, that the Symbol of Peace was not undamagable, unkillable, undefeatable, but more than anything else, he was worried. He was worried out of his mind for the safety of him.

And so, before he could remember himself, put back the guise of his brother, he spat out, “No, I think you’re beautiful!”

Then they just looked at each other, blank-faced with surprise. Then they both tried to talk at once.

“I’m so sorry-“

“You don’t have to-“

“-I should not speak like-

“-say that, I can take-“

“-that to you, it-“

“-the truth, I-“

“-was so disrespectful!”

“-have a mirror, you know.”

Both of them blinked at the other, silent again. Hikage chuckled awkwardly, rubbed the back of his neck. “Um… I, uh, I’m super sorry. I shouldn’t say things without thinking.”

“It’s fine.” All Might leaned back, looking off at nothing, and Hikage wondered what he was thinking of. “You don’t have to make me feel better. I know how I look.”

“No, I… I meant what I said.” All Might snorted in disbelief and Hikage felt a very powerful urge to convince this man, this wonderful, perfect man, that he was beautiful. “Don’t do that! I mean it. Truly. You’re a very handsome man, beef cake or not. Like… Like a sunflower.” Why was it suddenly easy to speak? Too easy, in fact. The words were spilling out and he couldn’t stop them, this wasn’t Present Mic, this was not Present Mic!

But somehow… He couldn’t bring himself to care.

There was a very open expression on All Might’s gaunt face, a look of utter shock and bewilderment, like he’d never heard these words and never expected to. Hikage tried to tone it down, recapture his powerful feelings of love and corral them back into their cage. He couldn’t make anyone suspicious. He had to be Hizashi. But he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, it seemed.

After all, All Might was the only person Hikage had ever loved like this. Would ever love like this. Years ago now, though the memory was as bright as if it had been yesterday, Hikage had gone to a ball in his brother’s stead and there he’d seen him, fallen in love with him the moment their eyes met, and known with certainty that All Might would be his only one.

Maybe it was seeing him again, after all this time. Maybe it was the memory of those hands on his hips, burned into his skin as deeply as a tattoo. Or maybe he would just never be able to control himself around All Might.

He looked over him, clothes that hung off his body, three sizes too big, and not an ounce of fat on him. His hair looked like it had never been brushed. Hikage smiled, weakly. “You’re still the same man. You’re still kind and gentle. Still so excessively polite and careful with other people. And your eyes are the exact same. You’re a good, good man, All Might. You’re absolutely beautiful.”

It seemed like any more shock would simply blow All Might away. Hikage wasn’t sure quite when he became the one looking away and All Might, the one who could only stare. But when their eyes met again, when All Might managed something like a recovery, his face took on a… Faraway look. Then recognition, amazement, confusion, shock, awe, so many different things in such short moments, and Hikage felt, as he had then, like he was really, truly seen.

Softly, like he was worried too loudly would break whatever it was that surrounded them, All Might murmured, “Do you remember our dance?”

A short inhale, sucked in through his teeth. Did he remember? How could he forget when he replayed it in his mind, every single day since the day itself? He removed his brother’s glasses, opened his mouth to speak-

And the door opened. Shouta walked in, tired eyes going first to the man he believed to be his husband. And it clicked like a light switch, what little inside him was Hikage switched off, replaced by Hizashi, and he grinned. “Hey hey, Sugarpop! Come lay on ya Daddy for a minute, yeah?”

“No, fuck you,” Shouta grumbled as he shuffled over and collapsed on top of Hikage, settling comfortably on top of him.

Hikage went limp, hollowed out and tired from his brief dip into Not Hizashi. He was so tired… Maybe now he could finally do what he came in here for… He looked at All Might, one last time, tried not to flinch from the confused surprise on his face. Was his switch so clear…? Pretending to not notice the searching look the Symbol of Peace was now giving him, he grinned and said, “Guess I’m stuck. Do me a favour and wake us up before my next class?”

He nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, course.”

“Thanks…” He yawned and shifted, settling down beneath the comforting warmth and weight of Shouta. He wished it were someone else on top of him, someone else reaching to hold onto his hand, but right now he would take what he could get. He slept.

His dream was a familiar one. A dream of being nearly asleep. It was so familiar in fact, that he knew he was dreaming. He waited, warm beneath heavy blankets, too comfortable to be impatient, until footsteps drew close, obviously from someone trying to keep their presence quiet. The covers were pulled back and, with a tired sigh, he was joined by Him. Strong arms wrapped around him and he was pulled against the warmth and safety of All Might’s broad chest. He purred, rubbed his cheek against his partner and shuffled closer, revelling in the heat of All Might’s skin. He really was so warm…

“Hikage…”

A warm murmur. All Might’s cheek was pressed against his hair and Hikage was practically glowing in pleasure. He felt entirely at peace. There was nothing in the world that could hurt him.

“I love you,” he managed to say, though he was almost too tired to get it out. “I love you, love you, love you…”

He was shaken awake, the large hand on his shoulder sending a jolt through his entire body (he’d know All Might’s touch anywhere). Raising his head, opening his eyes, he found himself looking into the most beautiful eyes on the planet. All Might backed off a little when he saw Hikage was awake, but he didn’t take his hand off his shoulder. “Hey. It’s almost the bell, so you need to wake up… What were you dreaming about? Aizawa?”

“Hmm? No?” He should have said yes, he knew it the second he told the truth, because All Might gave him a more searching look than before. He let out a shaky, “Why?”

“You kept saying, ‘I love you.’ Kinda assumed…”

I assumed you were dreaming about your husband.

Hikage wanted to look away, but he was trapped in blue.

Why oh why, he wondered, can I not control myself around you? That first time, all those years ago, and now, here, he could not make himself in his brother’s image. Could not force that hideous grin or say something absolutely moronic thing that would get rid of that look on All Might’s face. What was he thinking? Was he wondering about Hikage’s identity? Thinking he was a guy with a shape-shifting quirk? Or did he still think he was Mic? Just… That his and Shouta’s marriage wasn’t as good as it seemed. Which was ridiculous of course, Hizashi and Shouta loved each other more than anything else.

Neither of them moved. All Might didn’t move his hand and Hikage didn’t try and shake it off. They just… Stayed there. Until the bell rang and Hikage jumped, suddenly aware that he was about to be late to the class he had to teach. “I-I have to go!”

“Right, right, sorry…” All Might stood and backed off, letting Hikage flee the room like he was being chased by demons, flying down the halls and hoping he could get there before the bell stopped rolling. If it was still making noise, then he wasn’t technically late.

He didn’t make it.

Stumbling through the door, red-faced and panting, he leaned against the wall for a second, one hand raised for silence. “Sorry… I’m late…”

“What were you doing?”

He shook himself a bit, getting back into character. He knew what his brother would say, and he tried, he really really tried to say it, but his mouth fucked up and instead of saying he was fucking around, what came out was, “Eh, just fucking.”

An immediate uproar, the loudest question, from the most mouths, “FUCKING WHO?!”

And in a panic, he glanced up, locked on to the massive poster on the wall, and blurted out the name of the man that that poster so colorfully depicted. “All Might.”

And that is how Hikage Yamada ruined his life, his brother’s life, his brother-in-law’s life, and probably a few other people’s lives too.

Chapter Text

In the end, he just told them to yell at him in English so they could at least be in keeping with the class’s purpose. He tried quieting them, truly he did, but it took careful activation of his Quirk to even be heard over the uproar, so finally he said Fuck it! Only by agreeing to answer questions did he make them calm.

And so…

“Why were you fucking All Might?!”

“Why not?”

“What about Aizawa-sensei?”

“What about him?”

“Does he know?”

“Yup.”

“Does he join you?”

“Nah, doesn’t like threesomes.”

“Does he fuck All Might too?”

“Probably? Uh, sure, yeah, I think he mentioned that.”

He truly was trying to do damage control. These kids were gunna blab no matter what, so right now he was frantically trying to: A) Insure that everything he said from now on was believably Present Mic and B) Make sure this soon-to-be-rumour was so outlandish that by the time it inevitably made it back to Shouta and All Might, it would be nearly comical. The second-years seemed to be taking it so seriously, several small groups huddled with those sitting closest to them. They kept calling out questions that made Hikage’s cheeks burn.

“Who tops?”

“Me, of course, the Mic never submits to nobody, you can quote me on that by the way.”

“Is he loud?”

“I’m loud!”

“But is he?”

“Me.”

“Hey, does he call you Mic or Yamada or what?”

“No, he calls me Daddy. No, you guys may not call me Daddy.”

“We don’t want to!”

“It’s okay, you can grieve openly, I understand this is a blow.”

”Sensei.”

“Are y’all done yet?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m gunna hand out worksheets while you harass me.”

They just kept on, occasionally calling out a weird question that he answered as wildly as possible, spinning a narrative of a long, passionate relationship between Shouta, Hizashi, and the number one hero in Japan. Someone asked why they didn’t just marry him too if they liked him so much and Hikage easily answered that it was for safety purposes. After all, who could publicly belong to a man like him and not immediately become a target? Every villain in Japan would be knocking down their door.

That seemed to solidify the story for them. By the time he was free of their searching stares he was shaking. Dear GOD what had he just done.

Not only was he going to have to deal with the fallout from Shouta, but once Hizashi got back and heard- Oh, this was going to be awful. Absolutely awful. ‘Zashi was going to yell at him for quite a while, he was sure. His fingers twitched towards his pocket, his phone. Did he tell him now? Admit his mistake before whatever the kids spun this rumour into reached Hizashi’s ears? What about Shouta? Did he tell him too? He was so tired already…

He avoided the teacher’s lounge, unwilling to risk crossing Shouta’s path before he made a decision despite wishing for another nap. Tiredness still dragged at his bones and keeping up his peppy, Mic-y attitude while in company drained him even more to the point where he felt like he was dying. He was simply going to drop dead, that horrific grin still plastered on his death-hard face.

For some reason that visual was almost funny to him. Standing outside UA, waiting for Shouta so they could drive home, he burst into a fit of giggles at the thought of his own smiling corpse. And wouldn’t he be happy to die? To simply decompose? Who would mourn him, aside from Hizashi? Their parents were long dead (may their souls never find peace), but he doubted they’d have bothered to attend the funeral anyway. What about Shouta? Would he, when he knew what was Kage and what was Zashi, would he think of him as a stranger, an unwanted presence? Would the thought of him give him a feeling a unease? Would it raise the hair on his arms? Or would he decide that, even if it had been unknowingly, that they were friends?

Would Shouta grieve for the brother-in-law he’d never really been able to know?

And all at once, he remembered the way All Might had held him when they danced, how he’d looked at him, just this morning (was it really so recent?). He remembered the look in those deep-set eyes, just as blue as that long ago, fateful day, and just as intense. The care in his expression, mixed with a gentle kind of curiosity. All Might wanted to know him. Hikage didn’t know why, but he knew that this was true. All Might wanted to know him, Hikage Yamada. Somehow, some way, he had immediately made a connection between Hikage and that dance, a connection that clearly hadn’t been made before in the presence of Hizashi.

All Might would grieve for him. All Might would cry for the man he never even got to call by name.

Hikage didn’t know why he was still laughing. His sides hurt. Tears were running down his face. He was still laughing.

Two arms wrapped around his chest. He didn’t have to see the familiar clothes and hands to know the shape of Shouta’s body, pressed against his back. “What’s so funny?”

Something about the contact snapped him out of his fit. “Nothing you’d like.”

“Mm.”

He knew that tone. “But I’ll tell you when we get home?” He got a squeeze for that before Shouta let him go. They didn’t talk on the drive this time. Hikage kept yawning, sitting still combined with the warmth made his exhaustion that much worse. And besides, if Mic couldn’t be tired in front of his literal husband, then who could he be tired in front of??? He literally spent every possible moment with the guy. No, Shouta would never suspect anything suspicious in Hikage acting a little off.

Once upon a time he’d been worried about swapping out with his brother, to live in his brother’s house with his brother’s husband, worried that Shouta would know Hizashi so well that he’d be found out in an instant, but… But something strange happened when you spent so much time with a single person. Things began to blur, small hints and mistakes went entirely unnoticed, because to Shouta, the entire concept of Hizashi was so familiar that it was simply a part of the background. A constant. As sturdy and ever present as the walls themselves. Anything a little to the left was so infinitesimal that Shouta’s blurred perception of his own husband made him blind to it, in the same way you would never notice if someone were sneaking into your home ever day and rearranging the stack of books you keep on the end table.

So no. He wasn’t concerned with acting off when it was just the two of them. If Shouta consciously thought about it at all, he’d assume it was a hard work day, or a bad night’s sleep, or drowsiness from taking a nap, or the stress of running a late night/early morning radio, one of any number of things, really. At the very least, it was an excuse to keep Shouta’s hands off of him for another night.

But how long could he keep Shouta away?

He didn’t want to think about that right now, he was too tired. In the elevator, going up three floors to their space, Hikage damn near fell asleep just leaning against the wall. Shouta laughed at him, took his arm and helped him get to bed. He even helped him get out of all that damn leather, went on one knee to tug the boots off Hikage’s feet. He pestered him until Hikage stood again, let himself be led to the bathroom, where Shouta got the hair gel out of his long hair. He dried it off best he could before helping Hikage into bed, kissing him gently on the temple. “I have a little work to do, but you just sleep, okay Mister Radio?”

“Mmhmm…” He yawned, sticking a hand out of the covers so Shouta could squeeze it once. He was unconscious before Shouta could even turn off the lights.

Having a Dream earlier apparently meant he’d used up his Nice Time Tokens, because it was Nightmares all the way.

He had nightmares often. Always the same one. It seemed his brain wasn’t extremely original. He was allowed one dream and one nightmare.

Hands held him down as powerfully as iron restraints, wrapped around his wrists, his ankles, his neck, tugging at his sides and thighs and hair, pulling or crushing hard when he wriggled too much, until he cried out in pain. Then came the Person. He could never see them clearly, no matter how hard he strained to make out a single feature. All he knew was that they wielded a knife and they were here to cut him apart.

It never hurt, the cutting up. He could only feel it in the way one feels their hair being cut or like when a thin film of glue is pulled free from hands. What hurt what when they starting to pull things loose. Being carved up was easy, too easy, but seeing the pieces of himself- himself being in the spiritual sense, not his body- being tossed away like garbage, oh boy, it burned like the knife should. Every part of his soul was being torn free of his body, every blackened, sick piece of Hikage that lived in him, removed with a very profound aura of disgust before being tossed without a single glance.

Then, shining like a miniature sun in those hands that just held a knife, was everything Hizashi was. And when it was forced into his butchered body, it was so painfully burning that everything was fully, numbingly cold.

He woke up shivering, a chill so deep that it nestled in the pit of his stomach like a hunk of black ice refusing the efforts of the blankets and of Shouta, wrapped around him and shaking him awake.

“Hizashi? Come on, Sunlight, wake up already. Hey, hey, there you go, you’re awake… You okay?”

He could almost ignore the guilt of holding his brother’s husband as he accepted Shouta’s affection, burying his face against the other man’s chest and wrapping his arms around him, so desperate for comfort, for validation, for confirmation that he existed. That he wasn’t being cut apart, day after day, that everything that was Him was not being ripped away and replaced with Hizashi. Shouta pet his hair, muttered reassurances too quiet to hear, and Hikage found himself crying. Because by God, he wanted this. He wanted this to be his, wanted the words that came from Shouta’s mouth to be for him, but even now he was so agonisingly aware that he was nothing, had nothing, existed only as a concept, because this was Hizashi’s.

Hizashi’s bed, Hizashi’s house, Hizashi’s husband and clothes and food and love and friends and jobs and support and stability and life and kisses and hugs and jokes and-

Good God, he was coming apart at the seams, wasn’t he? Was this really all it took? A hug that wasn’t meant for him and a single look from the Symbol of Peace? He tried to shake himself out of it, took as even a breath as he could and thought of nothing. He did not feel. He was not. He was only a shadow, he needed only his duty. He was just fine.

He shivered one last time and sniffed, managing to get control. Shouta looked down at him with concern and so much absolute love that it damn near brought the tears again. Softly, Shouta whispered, “Dreaming about him again?”

… Him? Him who? Did… Did Perfect Sunshine Hizashi have nightmares too?

He didn’t know what else to do, so he just swallowed thickly and nodded.

“‘Zashi… There was nothing you could have done, you know that by now, right? It will never be your fault.”

What the fuck???? What the FUCK?????? He nodded to hide his panic, managing to say, “Yeah, I- I know, but…”

Shouta kissed him and for once it didn’t burn Hikage’s lips. Then he put a hand to his cheek, gently rubbed him with a thumb and Hikage saw the exact moment that Shouta felt it: The only thing on his face that didn’t match his brother’s. “Feels like you broke your cheek here, but…”

And he had. A long, long time ago, Hizashi himself had, quite on accident, broken Hikage’s face. The only evidence of that now was a depression on his cheekbone, something that could rarely be seen with the right light at the right angle, but could easily be felt. He shook his face free, reached up to rub it himself. “You must still be asleep, Sho. It feels fine. A little squished from sleeping on it, but it’s fine.” He blinked at him, all innocence.

Shouta chuckled and kissed him again. “Mmhmm. Whatever… Pancakes or waffles?”

“I could cook like... Big meal if you want.”

“Yes please.” Shouta immediately collapsed back down, burying his face in a pillow. “I love your cooking. It is… Effervescent.”

Hikage snorted and kissed the scar on Shouta’s cheek. “Then I’ll call you when it’s done.”

He dressed himself before going to cook. He knew that Hizashi went as naked as possible for as long as possible when it was just the two of them, but Hikage couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t bear to look at himself. At the unearned scars on his body that matched so perfectly with those on his brother’s (he did what was necessary). He still remembered the first one. A message from his brother, a picture of a scar on his side attached. “Look what I did lol” was all Hizashi had had to say about it and now Hikage understood that he’d just been sharing a fuck up, but Hikage hadn’t gotten that. Instead, he’d gotten a knife and copied the wound.

Hizashi had been horrified, had yelled at him quite a bit (Hikage could still see the tears in his twin’s eyes), but after a stuttered explanation about why, about the necessity, Hizashi had agreed to leave him alone about it.

So now here he was. With a catalogue of his brother’s wounds on his body. A stab here, a cut there, a burn by his left shin, a few small places from hitting a hard wall too hard with bare skin, a strange circle of thin scars from a broken bottle. So many wounds. So damn many, none of them his own. His body wasn’t even his. He was just… Renting it. Or something.

But that could be thought through later, when he was alone and it wouldn’t affect Hizashi. Now, he had to cook.

It was second nature really, to cook. He’d fed his whole family, back when he lived in a family, making breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every day, nearly for as long as he could remember. When he cooked, he felt like he was doing something right. Something helpful. He went for a more American style, eggs, sausage, hashbrowns, he even made dough for biscuits and gravy. Hizashi loved American food. Thankfully, Shouta didn’t mind it.

Putting his brother’s personality on like a coat, Hikage pranced happily through the house to lean into the bedroom and sing, “Shou~taaa! Breakfast is Do~ne!” He got a grunt for his efforts, the Shouta in question not even rolling over. “Aww, does the lazy kitty need a lift?” Another grunt, so Hikage went and lifted him, cradling him against his chest and carrying him to the kitchen. It was difficult, to say the least. Malnutrition had taken its toll, and while Hikage could, on appearances, pass for his brother, Hizashi was simply stronger. His arms were burning by the time he sat down Shouta down at the table and pushed a plate in front of him.

A very low grumble came from Shouta as he slowly started to shove food in his mouth. Hikage knew the sound, of course. Over time he’d come to think of it as Shouta’s attempts at a purr. He made it when he was tired but satisfied. It also meant he was Safe To Pet (and, by extension, expected to be pet). Hikage obliged, pushing all of Shouta’s hair back from his face as he ran his hands through it, careful not to tug any knots. He massaged Shouta’s head until he gave a loopy grumble, tired and pet-drunk and in danger of dropping his fork. Hikage kissed him on the forehead before finally getting to his own food, eating at more than three times Shouta’s speed. He finished quickly and staggered off to clean everything before Shouta could finish eating and try to help. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to someone trying to help him work.

He barely got it done quick enough. Just as he was putting up the last pan, Shouta came up behind him, hugged him tightly (he would likely never get used to how touchy Shouta was, either). “Hey… I woulda helped, you know.”

“Yeah I know.” Shouta fumbled for a second to get his hands under Hikage’s clothes, sighing softly when he could wrap his arms around his bare skin. “I- I just like doing everything for ya.”

“Mm…” Shouta started to kiss the back of his neck, his scruff scratchy against the sensitive skin. “Why don’t you let me do something for you, hmm?” One hand dipped lower, just above the waistband on his pants. But he waited. He always did, Hikage knew, always waited for some sort of Yes. He had for as long as Hikage had known him. It was sweet, how even after being married for years, Shouta did not assume that he was simply allowed to do as he liked.

How did Hizashi react? Knowing his brother, it was likely with great enthusiasm, probably a measure of begging too, though that was entirely unnecessary. What did Shouta think, when his advances were met with rejection?

Well… That wasn’t really any of Hikage’s concern, he supposed. Taking Shouta’s hand, turning around to kiss him on the cheek, he murmured, “Not today, Sho’.”

“Alright.” Shouta hugged him instead, squeezing hard. He didn’t ask why or try and change his mind, he never did. Sometimes it was extraordinarily easy to see why Hizashi was so in love with this man. Hikage returned the hug.

When they parted, Shouta left to do something, whatever he did to take up his time before it was Go To Work Time. Hikage started to clean up the kitchen more, making sure the sink was clean, scrubbing counters, all that. Shouta returned with a stack of papers, started to grade things while Hikage cleaned. “Cleaning day?”

Hikage seriously doubted that Hizashi ever cleaned anything ever. “Yup.”

“Mm.”

Okay… Now was the perfect time to confess. “Um… Sho’?”

“Mm?”

“Don’t get mad…”

“Oh no.”

“But I may have uh… Said something.”

Shouta looked up, glaring past the hair in his face. “What did you do.”

“I uh- well you see, I- Maybe, I possibly-“

“Spit it out.”

“I may have told my entire noon class that you and me are also in a relationship with All Might.”

“You. You what?”

He grinned sheepishly and started to explain, how he’d fucked up his words and been too scattered to just fix it, how it went on long enough that he didn’t know how to backtrack, and that he really did try to make the best of it but now a whole class, and soon the whole school, thought that there was a third member to their marriage and that third was All Might.

He expected a helluva lotta things. What he didn’t expect was for Shouta to start laughing. “God, of course you did.” He shook his head. “Does All Might know?”

“Not yet, probably.”

“I wanna be the one to tell him. God, this is gunna be hilarious.”

“You’re not mad?”

He shrugged. “Why would I be? I know you’re not actually having an affair with All Might, so what’s the harm?”

“Technically, we’re all dating each other.”

“Let me have my affair in peace.”

“I thought it was my affair?”

They both chuckled and Hikage relaxed. Maybe everything would be fine after all. Hizashi’s husband wasn’t going to be angry with him when they swapped again, so everything was fine. Just fine.

Now they just had to tell All Might.

His stomach flipped just thinking about him. Even if he wasn’t a huge mountain of a man anymore, Hikage still wanted him. It was kind of strange, how easy his heart accepted this. His brain was still catching up and more than once he’d found himself struggling to connect the man he’d met then to the man he saw now. But even so… He was All Might. That would never change, no matter his appearance. He was All Might and he was Hikage’s home.

“What are you thinking about?”

Hikage jumped a bit, looked guiltily down and focused on wiping counters. “Just uh, wondering about All Might. He doesn’t look like the pictures, does he?”

“You can say that again. But I guess losing your stomach is bound to make it hard to keep your weight up.”

Losing your- He’d lost his stomach?! But- But what- He-

He wasn’t taking care of himself at all then! “It is absolutely, one hundred percent possible to keep and even gain weight without a stomach, that dumb fucker is just starving himself!” Shouta looked up at him blankly, but Hikage had gotten started and a low anger at All Might kept him going. “I mean, how often have you seen him eat?”

“Uh, not often? I think he brings a lunchbox though.”

“A single- Jesus fucking Christ, he’s an idiot!” Angrily, Hikage wrenched open the refrigerator and started grabbing things. “I mean, even I know that you have to eat six to eight meals a day if you lose your stomach and that food between those is good too.” He dumped what he’d grabbed on the counter and started to make a meal. “Stupid self-destructive idiot sunflower, starving himself to damn death because, I dunno, he doesn’t want people to think he eats? Stupid fucker.”

“Someone’s a little harsh today.”

“I think harshness has been earned.”

“Fair enough. What are you doing?”

“Making something to give All Might to make sure he eats.”

“So your husband has to live off vending machine fare while your side hoe gets fine dining? Ouch.”

“Oh hush, you like vending machine snacks.”

“Also fair.”

He made… Quite a bit of food. Mostly small things that could be carried around, eaten between lessons and such. He had to use his phone to check what kind of things to avoid putting in said food, but in the end he was satisfied. Love of his life would starve no more, not if he had any say in it. While he did that, Shouta worked too, grading papers, occasionally commenting on Hikage’s cooking, asking to test what he’d made, or just telling him how stupid his kids were.

“Seriously. I know you teach them too so you know, but wow. Wow.”

“Let me guess. Kaminari.”

“No, actually. Sero committed this particular crime.”

“For shame. I’ll give him all the hard questions today.”

“You’re a keeper, ‘Zashi.”

“Indeed.”

It was almost nice, to talk like this with someone. He even grabbed Shouta’s hand as they headed down to drive to work, bumping shoulders like old friends.

But of course, they really weren’t anything more than strangers.

Chapter Text

He had Shouta’s kids that morning. They were nice enough, if… Violently enthusiastic. One kid, from the Iida family, seemed incapable of stillness, hands flying with every word. Another, with green hair and a freckled face, was named Midoriya. He seemed almost desperate to prove that he knew things, bless his heart. Always the first to raise his hand, a look on his face like he’d die if he couldn’t tell Hikage that answer B was correct. Then there was a rich girl, a poor girl, an invisible girl, a frog girl, an electric boy, a stone boy, a boy who was incapable of being calm. So many strange children, all piled together into one small space. It was a wonder this school had so few casualties in its history.

He loved them, though. His and Shouta’s kids. Yes, maybe they were really supposed to be Hizashi’s, and maybe they didn’t even know his name, and maybe he was a little too invested in those students, but… How was he supposed to help it? This was the only place he was allowed to, sometimes, be himself. Was it really so wrong to fall in love with that?

He watched them now, almost shaking with amusement. He’d handed out papers that simply read, “Wait between ten and fifteen minutes before bringing the paper to my desk. Say nothing to Sero.” He’d hastily written them out by hand just before class, snickering the whole time, ready to be truthful to his word to Shouta. He was giving Sero all the hard ones today.

And sure enough, as more and more of them dropped off their papers, some with a declaration of how easy it was, Sero began to look increasingly panicked, looking from his classmates to his own paper, one hand in his hair. Poor thing. He almost took pity on the kid.

Almost.

When he called the ten minute warning, Sero looked ready to scream, frantically scribbling at the bottom of the page. He looked relieved. Then he checked the back of the page and found more questions. Soul crushing. Hikage was able to tell the exact moment that Sero considered praying for death. He was kind of looking forward to reading what Sero’s desperate speed-run would look like when he was done.

Taking his paper last, Hikage went on with their lesson, intensely amused by his ‘game.’ Occasionally, just for fun, he’d ask about something he hadn’t taught them. Midoriya always raised his hand and occasionally Iida or Bakugo followed suit, but he called on Sero first every time to watch him squirm. He also asked him some things he’d know the answer to, so he didn’t feel bullied.

When that class was over and he got to go to lunch, he was practically purring.

Shouta was waiting for him in the teacher’s lounge, leaning against him with a hum when he sat close. “Hey, ‘Zashi.”

“Hey, Sho’.”

“Day so far?”

“I gave Sero all the hard questions and a fake test, as promised.”

Shouta snickered, turning his head to kiss Hikage’s shoulder. “You are a cruel bastard.”

“Ah, but you’re the one holding my leash, love.”

A gentle bump and Shouta shifted away to get back to his ‘lunch’- a packet of jello and a candy bar from the lounge’s vending machine. Bar in his mouth, he wiggled his way into a sleeping bag and Hikage reached over to zip him in before patting his head. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, my darling husband~”

He got a grunt in response and Shouta yawned before starting to snore. His ability to fall asleep by merely getting himself horizontal was… Effervescent. Hikage was quite jealous of it. But then, of course, he forgot Shouta entirely because the door was opening and All Might was squeezing himself into the room, shutting the door in his careful way.

Hikage found his breath nearly caught, fluttering weakly in the back of his throat. “Hi, All Might.”

He watched him power down, shoulders slumping in apparent exhaustion as his massive body lost its muscle, skin paling from its healthy glow into a sun-hid pallor. All Might’s smile was weak. “Hey, Mic.”

“Oh, I- Um, I-“ He got up and went to the small fridge that pretty much all the teachers used, making nervous ‘stay there’ motions at All Might. Suddenly he was scared stiff of giving his gift, terrified that All Might would see it as him overstepping some line, but he was already here, it would be stranger to back out. He got out one of the three bento boxes he’d brought, nervously shuffling back to present it to All Might, looking shyly at the floor. “I- I made you something. To eat. For um, for lunch.”

A moment of silence and Hikage felt his face get redder and redder as his mind spun every bad end possible. But then All Might gently took the box from his hands. “Thank you, Mic. I bring my own food though, it isn’t necessary, truly.”

“No, it absolutely is!” He was too heated in his words, not like Hizashi at all. None of this was like Hizashi, in fact, but looking up at All Might’s startled face, looking into those eyes that nearly glowed, it was all he could do to just keep his voice from raising. “You don’t eat enough, you haven’t in ages! I’m tired of you starving yourself! I get that you don’t feel hungry anymore, but that doesn’t matter, you have to eat, All Might. You’re not even supposed to be going three hours without eating something, ever since…” He stuttered and made a vague gesture towards the other man’s torso. “Y-You know.”

“Yeah…” Again, that searching look. Hikage seriously doubted that Hizashi knew anything about people who’d lost their stomachs. Hikage himself only knew because he’d had to write a paper on it for a class in high school. But that didn’t matter to him for some reason. Here, in this beautiful man’s shadow, he couldn’t seem to make himself into anyone other than himself. All Might looked down at the box, almost comically small in his large hands. “I don’t-… Thank you, Mic. I didn’t think you were the type to notice things like that.” Another look. Gauging his reaction, maybe?

He shrugged uncomfortably, leaning back on his heels. “I know I seem like a no-filter, airheaded asshole, but that’s mostly just a persona… Kinda like putting on a coat, you dig? It ain’t me, not really, it’s just what I show everyone. Makes it easier to go unnoticed when I’m not on the job.” And it was true, for both brothers. Neither Hizashi not Hikage were the Present Mic they gave to the world. But it felt good to say it to him. To tell All Might that he wasn’t this.

“Hmm.” Still that searching look and Hikage wondered what it was that All Might was looking for. He looked away, unable to hold that burning stare, as self conscious as an atheist at Mass.

Then All Might touched him. Gently, so gently, like he thought Hikage was made of glass, All Might laid a hand on his cheek. His hands were so big, just his palm could probably cover Hikage’s entire face. Leaning into the touch without thinking, Hikage got a bolt of shocked fear as he realised what it was that was happening. Because All Might was doing just what Shouta had done, just that same morning. He was running his thumb over Hikage’s crushed cheekbone.

He froze, hands half raised like he wanted to grab All Might’s arm but couldn’t find the strength to. All Might was searching his face still and Hikage wondered what was going on in his head. Did he know that Hizashi didn’t have this? This crumpled piece of himself? What was he thinking when Hikage didn’t pull away? But then, All Might wasn’t pulling away either. His first brush had been just shy of rough, an exploring touch that sought out the dip in his face, but now it was softer. All Might traced his old wound, a very peculiar look in his shining blue eyes. “What did this?”

“It- It was a long time ago. Family matters.” He tried to laugh, but the weak chuckle died nearly before it was born and worry briefly creased All Might’s thin face.

“Family…?”

“Yeah… Oh, but it was- it was an accident, I wasn’t- he didn’t-“ He huffed, cheeks redder than ever. “It was an accident. Just… Just an accident.”

“Mm.” All Might’s hand was still on his face. He was so warm. It was heating Hikage up from the outside in, spreading through his body like water through moss, lighting up the shadowed, injured places in his soul, warming up the shivering, abandoned pieces of himself that were still Himself. And it was dangerous, he knew, to still be standing here, head tilted to deepen the pressure of All Might’s rough palm on his cheek, but even the thought of moving away felt like dying and he couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t be Hizashi in front of him.

But, somehow, All Might seemed lost too. There was a faraway look on his face and he never even seemed to consider backing off. In fact, he’d moved closer, shoulders hunching further like he wanted to grab Hikage, wrap around him, shelter him from everyone and everything. If Hikage took just a little shift forward, stood on the tips of his toes, tipped his head-

No! No no no, he was Hizashi, and he could NOT kiss another man with his husband in the same room! The thought went through him like fire and he flinched backwards. All Might pulled away quickly, holding his hands close to his chest. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-“

Hikage was already waving his apology away. “It’s fine, it’s- You didn’t mean to- it’s really okay, I promise.”

“You’re okay?”

No, I am not, I am falling apart, burning alive, I am dying dying dying. “I’m okay.” All Might still looked desperately worried and Hikage wanted to reassure him, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know what All Might thought he’d done, because it surely couldn’t be the truth. Trying to shake it off, he looked away. “You should eat. Take care of yourself.”

“Um- Right. Yes. Thank you.”

All Might sat carefully, like he was scared of making noise, and Hikage went to Shouta, reaching out to shake him awake.

The man spoke before Hikage ever touched him. “So your cheek was broken.”

Hikage leapt backwards in shock, standing stiff-legged like he was ready to be attacked. Shouta didn’t move, didn’t even open his eyes, by all means he looked entirely asleep. But then he did open those tired eyes, just slightly, and Hikage wondered if he’d ever been asleep at all. “Why did you tell me you hadn’t?”

“It- It’s an old wound, it doesn’t really matter…” Shouta was still giving him a Look and Hikage frantically waved his hands. “I-I mean, it was just an accident from when I was a kid, it isn’t really relevant, and I didn’t want you to worry about it or anything…” He was still glaring and Hikage whimpered out a final attempt. “Can’t we talk about this at home, Sho’? There’s other, more pressing matters, yeah?”

That did it. Shouta’s eyes lit up like a cat on the hunt and he shifted in his bright yellow sleeping bag, poking his head free and shaking out his messy hair before turning his head to look at All Might. “You’re right. I guess it’s not too important. There is, however, something of great importance that you need to know, All Might.”

The big man jumped a bit, half hiding behind the bun he’d been eating. He wouldn’t meet Shouta’s eyes. “Mm? What is that?”

“We’re fucking.”

”What?”

Shouta nodded sagely. “Yup. You. Me. Hizashi. Just fuckin’, all the time. At least, according to the rumours.”

“The whats?” Poor All Might. His thin face was scarlet, normally deep voice turned high-pitched with embarrassment.

Shouta took on a catlike grin, nearly Cheshire. “Word around campus is that we’re all in one relationship. Isn’t that sweet? I’m happy to share my husband of course, you’re my boyfriend too after all.”

All Might coughed, looking quickly away. “Oh dear… How- How did this-?”

“Get started? Our dear mutual fucktoy Hizashi slipped up and misspoke. Predictably enough, he made it worse instead of taking it back and now here we are.” He shrugged, the movement visible even beneath the sleeping bag. “I think it’s funny.”

“I don’t!” All Might seemed extraordinarily uncomfortable. “They think- they- that I- With you?”

“Okay, ouch.”

“That’s not what I meant, um…” He nervously scratched at the back of his neck and Hikage felt a very intense urge to grab his hand. “You’re uh, you’re a very attractive man, Aizawa.”

“Thanks.”

“But you’re married, I would never…” He looked so tired and confused, poor mite.

But his words made Hikage’s eyes narrow slightly in thought. He wouldn’t… What? Be a homewrecker? But then… Then what would have happened, when he thought Shouta was asleep, if Hikage hadn’t pulled away? Would All Might have pulled away first instead? It hadn’t seemed like it.

The conversation had continued without him. Shouta’s low, nearly flat voice had taken on a slight shake of amused excitement. “You’re fucking my husband too you know, a two for one kinda deal, so it’s not like you’re causing a divorce. If anything, you bring us closer, right Sunny?”

Hikage shook himself from his thoughts. “Uh, yeah. Definitely. The glue to our marriage.”

All Might groaned and hid his face against the palm of one large hand. “You two are going to be the death of me.”

“Purrhaps.” Shouta wriggled free of his sleeping bag and stretched like a cat, head down, ass up. Hikage walked over, gently stroked Shouta down his spine, and the man grunted in his grumpy sort of affection. Shouta let his head bump Hikage’s stomach as he tried to stand and Hikage didn’t bother to stop his smile. Any sort of contact was a part of Shouta’s love language. He didn’t say it much, not nearly as much as he showed it, but knowing how important touch was to him made it abundantly clear just how much he loved Hizashi. Because Shouta rarely, if ever, let someone else touch him, but with Hizashi? With Hizashi, Shouta was as cuddly as a puppy, nearly constantly rubbing his whole body against him just to be in contact.

It was actually really sweet.

And again, as Shouta made for the door, he let their shoulders brush, briefly grabbing Hikage’s hand. “I’m going to head for my class. Bell’s about to ring.”

The door shut and they were alone again. Hikage looked at All Might, examining his sunken cheeks and sharp jaw. He sighed softly, went back to the small refrigerator and withdrew two more boxes. He set them down on the coffee table, next to the first, and muttered, “These are your’s too. For the rest of the day. Take some with you to your classes.”

“You didn’t have to…”

Hikage nodded once, wishing desperately that he wasn’t wearing his brother’s stupid face. “I know. I wanted to.” He hesitated, then said, “You have to take care of yourself. For them. For me?” A step over the line, he was becoming less and less Hizashi while he was alone with this man. He didn’t like it.

All Might sighed. “Alright. You win.”

He smiled then, too shocked by his victory to remember Hizashi’s blinding grin, giving only his own shy expression. All Might was looking at him again, that damn searching stare, like he thought he would be able to read everything that Hikage was just by looking, until he looked straight into his damned soul. Maybe he would. Who knew. Hikage wished he would, wished that one other person, just one, would know to call his name and not Hizashi’s.

Then some of that searching faded, his expression gentling into a smile that was nothing like his signature sun-bright grin. “I, uh… I like your real smile, Mic.”

His face went scarlet. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. All Might liked his smile. Almost choking on nervousness, he managed to squeak out, “I like your’s too.”

Then the bell rang.

Both of them, in perfect union, said, “Oh shit.”

Hikage made it to the door first, throwing it open with enough enthusiasm that it was still open when All Might squeezed himself through, massive again. Glancing over his shoulder, he just managed to catch sight of him before he turned a corner and, cheeks pink, he rushed on to his class. The bell stopped just as he stumbled in, adjusting his glasses.

And from the back of the class came one clear voice, “How’s All Might?”

It was going to be a hard day.

Luckily for Hikage, the kids hadn’t bothered him too much. He didn’t even have to spend all day at UA. It was the middle of the week, which meant he had classes till noon and then hero work.

He’d sent a text to Hizashi.

Want me to hit the streets too?

The answer came in less than a minute.

Please?

So, he’d sought out Shouta, kissed him goodbye, promised to see him at home, and went off, out into a world that was crawling with villains that needed a stern talking to. He didn’t mind patrolling, exactly, but… Present Mic was a well known and well loved figure. And when people thought they knew a person they took certain… Liberties. The younger ones he didn’t mind, it was the adults that terrified him. More than once he’d been damn near jumped by both women and men, all desperate to touch him.

But he guessed that was just one of the dangers for a hero that was considered attractive.

His brother didn’t belong to an agency, he was strong enough to take care of himself and his hectic schedule didn’t allow for set clock-in times. Instead, he simply went out when he had time and screamed some people to pieces.

Luckily, it was fairly quiet. People took pictures of him without asking, stopped him to talk like they were friends. Hikage wanted to scream, loud enough to level this fucking city, that they didn’t even know his first name. But instead he grinned, waved, and acted like he liked them. Public reputation was important to a hero like Present Mic. If the people didn’t like him then the government would stop paying him and then what would happen? Of Hizashi’s three jobs, this one paid the best and he had… Expensive tastes, to put it lightly. No, he couldn’t do that to his brother no matter how much he sometimes wanted to.

But when something finally did happen, he was relieved enough to feel almost guilty from it. Just a simple robbery. Someone had a Quirk and thought that would be enough to be a successful criminal.

How stupid.

On his neck was one of Hizashi’s directional speakers, but Hikage never had quite figured out how that thing worked. And besides, screaming never did have quite the same allure as his fists.

One sharp pop of sound, enough to knock the poor bastard off his feet, was all Hikage used his Quirk for. The guy was trying to get up when Hikage reached him, so he kicked him hard, knocked him over, and gently pushed him the rest of the way until he was laid out on his back.

An employee was shyly approaching, so Hikage turned to xem and asked, “Did you see his Quirk?”

Xe nodded. “Yeah, it’s uh, he m-made it so I couldn’t breathe.”

That could be a lot of things. Could be an erasing type Quirk, got rid of the oxygen. It could directly affect the victim’s body, or it could affect their mind to make them think that they couldn’t breathe. Whatever it was, Hikage didn’t want to give him time to use it again.

“Look, just give xem back the cash and I’ll take you to the station. You might get an easier punishment for-“ His breath cut off, at the end of a sentence. Trying to get his lungs empty first. Clever. He narrowed his eyes at the villain. Untrained people would likely panic upon finding their airway cut off, and that would work well with the small crimes this one was committing. Unfortunately for him though, Hikage was a trained hero.

Wanting his breath back before his vision started to fade, he did the first thing he could think of. He raised his leg and stomped down hard, right between the villain’s. The poor man howled, curling up on his side, and Hikage took a deep breath. “That’s better. Might not wanna do that again, yeah?”

Fucker tried it again, glaring pure hate at him, and Hikage was getting very tired of this game. He bent down, forcibly shoving the man back onto his back and sat down on him, pinning him. Then he started punching. He aimed for the face. The nose was the easiest place to make hurt, even someone like All Might would be blinded by tears from a hard strike to the nose, it simply wasn’t something you could stop. Besides that, there were several places where the skin was thin. The brows, the cheekbones, the jawline on some people, lips too were easily broken. The sight of their own blood usually completely unnerved people like this.

But it also just felt good, to feel the impact, the way the weaker man writhed in an attempt to escape, the inherent power in his position. No one could hurt him. No one could touch him.

He shook blood off his knuckles, grabbed the villain’s collar. “Look at me. Hey. Your eye isn’t that swollen and I know you’re not out. There ya go. Listen here buddy, either you come quietly or I kill you, got it? Sound waves are deadly, buddy, I could stop your heart and it wouldn’t even be hard. I could give you seizures, broken bones, ruptured organs, there’s all sorts of ways for me to kill you, none of them particularly pleasant. So stay still and shut up. Kay?” He got a weak nod in response. “Good boy.”

The store clerk was still standing timidly to the side. Hikage looted the villain’s pockets. “Here’s the money back.”

“Th-Thank you mister Present Mic, sir.”

“Anytime. And if there’s more in there than he stole, just pocket it. He won’t need it where he’s going.”

That got a smile from xem. “Not a bad idea.”

He handcuffed the guy who was, admittedly, a little too beat up. But Hikage was the hero, no one would be questioning him. It wasn’t hard to find someone to hand him over to, with a brief description of his crime, the place, and the witness. He got a wet wipe from the cop too, to clean the blood off his hands (none of it was his own).

He started his rounds again, wondering if anything actually interesting would happen. While it was a nice stress relief, to beat someone bloody, it wasn’t exactly enough to make him feel better. Where was the villain he got to go all out against? Hell, even a three-on-one match would be nice at this point. He hated having to walk out here and bake in his full black leather suit without getting anything for it but groped. At least the worst of the summer had faded and it was starting to cool down…

He kept looking and kept getting disappointed, but then his chance arrived not in the form of a villain, but a hero.

A yellowish blur flew past him, crashing into the ground and skidding to a halt. Right after the thing came a massive white cat, bigger than a lion, with paws that left ice in its wake. He knew that one, she was quite easy to pick out with her Quirk. The icy cat hero, Frostclaw. The name had always made him chuckle, close as it was to something from a book series he and his brother used to love.

The she-cat leapt with a caterwaul just as the other person got to their feet and howled back at her. He was a man, wearing only loose pants and a black eyemask. He seemed familiar to Hikage, but he couldn’t place it. Frostclaw bowled him over, but even though she pummelled his body, Hikage could tell her claws were sheathed. She was being careful not to hurt him. The man was screaming mindlessly and he was trying to bite through Frostclaw’s fur. She leapt back a bit and swatted him with a massive paw, sending him flying- right at Hikage.

The cat screeched, “Move, Present Mic!” and by God, Hikage moved. He almost got grabbed as the man flew past, again taking a roll along the road.

Another hero arrived, wearing a hero suit and cape that was printed with a pattern that seemed to shimmer and shift, like fireworks, and Hikage recognised the pattern. Frostclaw’s call confirmed it. “Come on, Firecracker! Hurry up!”

“I’m doing my best!” They ran up, panting. “You’re fast though!”

“What’s going on?” Hikage shifted into place next to the massive she-cat, ready to fight. “Who is that?”

The cat’s face wrenched in pain. “That’s Fat Gum.”

”Fat Gum?” The feral, half-dressed blond who was skinny enough for his ribs to be prominent certainly didn’t look like the good-natured hero that Hikage knew of.

“He hit some kind of low after overdoing it, his Quirk is cannibalising his body.” Fat Gum hurried towards Frostclaw and she smacked him away again. “It gets worse every time one of us hits him, but if we stop he tries to eat us.”

“Seriously?!” Hikage watched the man roll, get shakily up on all fours. Frostclaw was right, he was already visibly skinnier, the few blows he’d received being converted to energy subconsciously. “What do we do?”

“We’ve been leading him in circles, trying to figure something out. I thought maybe I could hunt something down and Firecracker could blast cook it, but there’s not even a pigeon around!”

“You want to feed him a pigeon?!”

“Got a better idea?”

Fat Gum had recovered and the three scattered to avoid being bitten. The poor man was wheezing, he looked terrified. Suddenly he stopped, clawing at his torso with a pathetic keening noise rising from his throat. Hikage knew how he felt. Hunger was a bitch. It felt like you’d swallowed a live rat and it was gnawing it’s way back out. Heart twinging in sympathy, Hikage looked around at the stores nearby. Stealing was wrong, sure, whatever, but this guy was beyond starving, his body was eating itself alive.

“Frostclaw!” The cat turned, ears pricked. “I’m gunna check the buildings! Don’t hit him again, just stay out of range!” She meowed before darting forward to pat Fat Gum on the shoulder with one paw, getting his attention before running away, her tail just out of his reach. The first shop he came to that had food inside was locked. He shouted a window to pieces and stepped through the hole. He ripped off his coat and threw it on the floor, starting piling anything edible onto it. When it was covered, he used it like a bag to make it to the window and chuck everything outside. He just kept throwing things and eventually Firecracker joined him.

“Hey, Mic! Thought you wanted to stay behind today?”

So Hizashi was with them? “Got bored. Figure a walk would be nice, and look what I run into.”

“Ha! Well, that’s hero life.”

“I’ll say.”

He was just bending over to pick up his coat again when a caterwaul made him pause. ”Mic, I lost him!!!!”

Frostclaw’s warning came a heartbeat too late. Someone collided with Hikage, took him down, all four limbs wrapped around his body. They rolled on the ground for a moment and Hikage flailed wildly, managing to get himself turned enough to get his own grip on his attacker. Fat Gum’s yellow eyes were flat, entirely lifeless, Hikage doubted that he even knew who he was. Every higher brain function was shut down. He must be hurting so badly.

But his sympathy wasn’t great enough for him to allow himself to be bit. He got one forearm against Fat Gum’s throat, forcing his head back so he couldn’t sink his teeth into his throat. The man was clawing at him, struggling to get closer and it seemed like his Quirk was still activated, reacting to the pressure against his throat and turning it into rhythmic waves of power. Every other second he pushed hard, nearly taking a chunk out of Hikage’s cheek once. Much more of this and his body wouldn’t be able to keep itself alive. “A little help, please?!”

Suddenly Fat Gum was lifted away and Hikage let out a sigh of relief, watching as Frostclaw, balanced on her hind legs, tottered towards the destroyed window with Fat Gum hanging from her jaws by his pants like an oversized kit. Firecracker was nowhere to be seen, so Hikage got to his feet and bent to pick up his coat, shaking it till he was satisfied that it was safe to wear.

He stepped outside, fixing his shades as he went. Everything seemed cool enough. Firecracker was opening packaged food and tossing it into the pile that Fat Gum was crouched by, finally fed, while Frostclaw licked at the hero’s blond hair, purring comfortingly.

Firecracker grinned up at Hikage. “Yo! Nice going keeping him distracted, bud!” Finishing their job, they stood and leaned back, both hands pressed to their spine. The resulting crack was audible. “Wow! That hurt. It really was luck running into you, Mic! Only you would think of robbing a place!” They offered their fist and Hikage bumped his own against it, unsure if he had been given a compliment or not. “Good thing you did though. Otherwise ol’ Fats might not be around.”

Frostclaw’s ears laid back self consciously. “I smacked him around too much, it’s my fault we got so close this time.”

“This time?”

Frostclaw nodded. “Well, yeah. You didn’t think that was the first time he’s gone too far, did you? It happened pretty much on the regular when we were still in school. I always had some kind of food on me back then…” She shook her feline head, a sad look in her blue eyes. “I haven’t done that in years though and it’s been a while since… But he went too far. Defeated the villain but crossed the line in doing so. I managed to lure him away before he hurt anyone, at least.” She gave the calming hero a rough lick to the face and Fat Gum grumbled a nonresponse. “His Quirk makes him always hungry. His stomach is like, twice the size of an ordinary person’s. And everything he eats gets made straight into fat cells, so even if he gets some food in him, it takes a while for his body to get any energy from it because it has to make and then break the fat.”

“Damn.” Hikage relaxed a bit. Clearly the danger was over. He put his hands in his pockets. “I know what it’s like to go hungry, so I can’t say I really blame the guy for going after anything that’d fix it.”

There was an interested gleam in the she-cat’s eyes, but she didn’t ask. Instead, she deactivated her Quirk, slowly shrinking down, fur retreating into skin, paws elongating into hands and feet. Her claws, leaking frost, remained, as well as her tail and a set of cat ears, but other than that, she was human. Her suit was white and blue with a shining cape. She sat down next to Fat Gum, who already looked considerably more healthy. “Hey… Hey Tai’, can you hear me?” He nodded. “You alright?” Another nod. Purring in joy this time, she shifted to sit pressed against him, her tail wrapping around his waist. Blue eyes with slitted pupils focused on Hikage again. “We can take him from here, Mic. Thank you so much for your help.”

The Please leave so I can take care of my friend was extraordinarily clear. Hikage bowed his head slightly. “Of course, sister. Anytime!” Her pupils widened into circles and she purred a short thanks. Raising a hand to Firecracker, Hikage said, “See ya later.”

“Later, Mikey!” They waved far more enthusiastically than Hikage had.

The second he was out of view, he fumbled for his phone, sighing in relief when he found it undamaged. Hurriedly, he started to text Hizashi, walls of text that explained everything, just in case Firecracker asked.

In response, his phone rang. Nervous, he answered it. “Y-Yeah?”

“Dude, deadass?!” Hizashi didn’t even say hello.

“Um, yeah.”

And with Hizashi’s constant questions, he managed to tell him everything. Once that was over, Hizashi started to grill him on everything else too.

“So, how’s Shouta?”

“Fine. Normal. Nothing weird’s happened.”

“He’s sleeping fine?”

“Like a cat.”

Hikage wanted to snap at Hizashi that if he was so worried about Shouta, then he should go and see him himself.

“So nothing interesting has happened? Nothing at all?”

“Uh…” Looking around, making sure no one was near and that no one needed help, Hikage took a steadying breath. “Well… One thing did happen. It was an accident, I swear, but…”

“Hmm?”

“I told one of the second-year classes that you and Sho’ were also fucking All Might.” Nothing. Absolute silence. “Hizashi?” He couldn’t even hear his brother breathing on the other end. “Bro?”

“You what?”

“It was an accident! I messed up my words and then I got way too deep to back out, so it just kept getting more and more out of control! It’s fine though! Shouta thinks it’s funny, actually.”

A low growl and Hikage shrunk slightly into himself. Hizashi sighed. “That’s- Fine. That’s fine. Just fine.”

“Are you okay?”

“Just fine!” Hikage flinched from the phone when Hizashi yelled. “It’s just that now an entire fucking school thinks that someone else gets to touch Shouta! My Shouta!”

“I-I mean, they’re not actually doing anything, so is it really that bad?”

“Kage, what you don’t seem to understand is that truth doesn’t matter. It never matters. Because what the majority believes as truth, becomes the truth, regardless of whether or not that truth reflects reality.”

“What?”

“Look, just- Never mind. Never mind, don’t worry about it, I’ll fix it later, somehow.”

Hikage had stopped walking. He tried to hide in Hizashi’s coat. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it- Dammit, don’t cry ‘Kage. I’m sorry I yelled okay? I was just surprised. I’m sorry. It’s not that big a deal, I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?”

“No. Promise. It’s alright.”

He sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Okay… I’m sorry too, I should have taken it back right when I said it, but I was panicking…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine…” Hizashi made a soft, warbling chirp, a sound they’d made to each other since they were babies in the same crib. “I really am sorry for yelling. You alright?”

No. “Yeah, I’m fine. When are you coming home?”

“Probably just another day or two. Three at the most.”

“Okay… Do you want me to take over with recording your show?”

“Nah, I can do that myself. Just street work and the class.”

“Okay…” Hikage started to move again. He didn’t want anyone coming up to check on him, didn’t want someone to get any funny ideas and put their hands on him either. “Um… Will I be able to see you before I go back home?”

“Maybe. I don’t know yet.”

“Oh, okay, um… That’s everything’s that’s happened, so bye, I guess.”

“Alright. Bye, ‘Kage.”

“Bye, ‘Zashi… I love you.”

“Yup. You too, bro.”

He hung up, just like that. Hikage looked down at the phone’s screen for a moment. Then he put it away again, put both hands in the pockets of his coat, and hurried to finish his job.

Nothing else happened, not even something minor. All he got was a few crowds of fans and more than a few touches from strangers in places he didn’t want. He got home tired and made a beeline for the bath, letting the water heat up while pulled off his clothes. He had a few bruises from his scuffle with Fat Gum, a few claw marks too. He was twisted around to look at his back in the mirror when the door opened and Shouta shuffled in.

He crossed his arms to cover his chest on reflex, but Shouta wasn’t looking there. He was looking at the red marks on his skin, his expression soft and slightly sad. “Are you okay?”

Uncomfortably naked and wishing to be alone, Hikage nodded. Shouta came closer, reached out to touch near the wounds. “Does it hurt badly?”

“No. Only when I touch ‘em.”

“What happened.”

“Caloric Quirk got overused and the guy went crazy from hunger. His body was eating itself, Sho’, he looked like a walking corpse by the time we caught him.”

“We?”

“I met up with Frostclaw and Firecracker.”

“Mm.” Shouta leaned forward to kiss his shoulder, in a place he wasn’t hurt. No doubt he wanted to hug him, but he wouldn’t risk hurting him. “Want to be alone, or…?”

“I need a minute, Sho’, I just… People getting grabby in crowds again, and…”

Shouta nodded once, a pained look of understanding on his face, and left immediately, shutting the door behind him. Hikage let out a shaky breath. He hated people looking at him.

The bath was too hot. He didn’t particularly care. Maybe if he stayed here long enough, cooked long enough, his mind would forget the panicked agony that had been in Fat Gum’s eyes. Maybe his skin would forget the feeling of hands that thought his body was their’s. Maybe, hidden by steam and water, he could pretend that he’d fought off the ‘fans’ that touched him. Maybe Hizashi was right and if he believed it enough then it would be true, even if it wasn’t reality.

He didn’t manage it. He never had been too good at lying to himself.

Chapter Text

Shouta’s hands were gentle, tracing patterns on his chest, his arms, his shoulders, his neck, his thighs, just brushing the skin, everywhere everywhere until his whole body tingled oddly. Soft lips pressed to his neck, over and over, from his jaw to his shoulder, Shouta never seemed to get tired of kissing him. Hikage couldn’t remember if he dreamed, tired as he was he could only remember Shouta, waking him up as gently as he’d ever been woken.

He shifted and felt Shouta smile against his skin. “Morning, Sunlight.”

“So it is…” He reached up to get a hand in Shouta’s hair, accepting the kiss to his lips. “You’re… Mm, frisky today.”

“Mmhmm.” Shifting closer, pressed against him, Shouta’s hands traced old scars. “Sex?”

“Hmm…” He pretended to consider it. There was no way he was letting Shouta touch him Down There and there was no way in hell he was going to touch Shouta like that. “Not today, Sho’.”

“Not today at all?”

“Probably not.”

“Mm… Alright.” He settled down at least, just messing with one of Hikage’s hands, occasionally pressing the knuckles to his lips. “Hey, ‘Zashi?”

He didn’t flinch. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? I mean, is there something you’re not telling me?” Dark eyes locked on his face, trapping him as powerfully as that beautiful blue, if for an entirely different reason. “You’ve been acting strange. Did something happen?... Did someone hurt you?”

I am not okay. I will never be okay. There are a hundred thousand thousand things I am not telling you. “No, I’m fine, I’m fine, I just… I dunno. Been thinking about some old things. Got me feeling weird.” Shouta wriggled onto his side, laying an arm over Hikage’s chest, looking up at his face at a better angle. Clearly he was ready to listen. Hikage looked away. He couldn’t take the love in Shouta’s eyes.

After a moment of silence, Shouta murmured, “Thinking about what?”

“Just… Things.”

Then Shouta’s hand touched his face, touched that damn crushed bone, and Hikage flinched then, away from the contact. “I’m sorry.” Shouta apologised immediately, pulled away quickly. “I won’t do it again… Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Hikage shook his head, reached up to touch it for himself. “It isn’t about this, it’s…” His thoughts whirled, trying to find a suitably Hizashi answer for his refusal to have sex, for his melancholy mood. “I just-“ He looked down at Shouta then, at the scar on his face. At the very new scar, gained just this year in fact. Gingerly, he touched it. Touched the second scar, over the entirety of one of Shouta’s elbows. “I keep thinking about how badly that almost went. I-“ His breath caught. Why was he crying? “I almost wasn’t fast enough, I- You would’ve-“

“Hey, hey, Sunlight.” Shouta pushed himself up on his arms, let their foreheads press together. “Hey. Look at me. I’m right here. Nothing happened. I’m okay, I’m alive and I am here and I can see you.” The few tears that had misted Hikage’s vision faded without falling and he took a shaking breath. “I can see you.” He kissed him, softly, and Hikage shut his eyes to feel it.

Did… Did he love Shouta after all?

No… No, this was something else. It was love, perhaps, but not like That. He wanted to be Shouta’s friend. The realisation was painful, agonising, even. He wanted to be Shouta’s friend. He wanted Shouta to see him. To know him, to know his name. He wanted Shouta to see him, not the husband he thought he was.

When Shouta pulled away he murmured, “I’ll make breakfast today. You lay back down, okay?” He was too worn out inside to argue. Instead he just nodded and let Shouta tuck him in, kiss him on the forehead.

He tried to go back to sleep, just for a little bit, but he was scared of nightmares. He’d had a dreamless night, testing that seemed stupid. So he gave up and grabbed his phone, tugging it free of its charger and getting it close to his face, narrowing his eyes to help see without his glasses.

The news was standard. Bad things happened, good people fixed it. Some famous person did something. Present Mic Destroys Private Property And Steals Food, Fat Gum And Frostclaw Pay For It. And All Might. There was always something about All Might.

Smiling stupidly, he skimmed an article that was nothing but praise for the number one hero. Apparently he’d done something early this morning, while Hikage was still asleep. Just a few hours ago. He wondered when All Might woke up. When he went to bed. Did he wear pyjamas? Hikage wished Hizashi would. Sleeping in his underwear was actually really uncomfortable…

“Hey.”

He raised his head a bit, squinting at Shouta. “Hey.”

“Food’s done.”

“Mm.”

“Whatcha readin’?”

“People accusing me of stealing.”

“Oh?” Shouta came to sit on the bed, leaning over, and Hikage went to the article about the small about of damage he’d caused, turning the phone to show.

“They make it sound like I totally wrecked the place. I did not, by the way.”

“Oh, so it was Fat Gum you had to deal with yesterday.”

“Did I not mention that?”

“Nope.”

“Oh. My bad.”

“Well,” leaning down, Shouta pressed a rough kiss to Hikage’s temple. “At least we’re not paying for it. Come on, up you go.” Snatching Hikage’s phone from him, Shouta skipped out the door and Hikage went into Full Panic Mode.

Nothing in that phone was ANYTHING like Hizashi’s except for the case. The only number he had saved? Hizashi’s. The only thing in his camera roll? Pictures of street cats he found and All Might. His apps? He had none. His notes were filled with stupid writing that he did sometimes when he was bored. Shouta could not look in that phone.

Rocketing after him, Hikage all but jumped the man, managing to get his phone back. “Give!”

Shouta yelped, then hissed. Hikage backed off. After another second of glaring, he relaxed. “Jesus, you got porn open or something?”

Looking ashamedly down at his phone, thinking sadly of his camera roll, Hikage muttered, “Yeah.”

Shouta snorted. “Sure, Sunny. Here. How you like them.” Hikage accepted the plate, feeling slightly better when the danger passed. Luckily, Hizashi still liked pancakes the same way Hikage did. He could almost convince himself that Shouta made them for him, not for his twin.

And that was when it happened. Later, Hikage would think of it as The Catalyst for everything that followed.

Shouta sat down. His leg bumped Hikage’s under the table. And then he said, “Do you ever wish you had any siblings?”

“… what?”

“Siblings. Brothers or sisters. You said were an only child, right?”

You said you were an only child, right?

Hikage had never mentioned himself to Shouta. He did not know how Hizashi talked about him, so he thought it would be safe to just not speak. He thought Hizashi didn’t talk about their family much. Or maybe he’d told Shouta not to ask. He thought Shouta never asked about him because he didn’t particularly care.

It had never occurred to him that his brother, his twin, his only family, had completely denied his very existence.

“Woah. Woah, woah, Hizashi, baby, I’m sorry, what did I say? What did I say? Hizashi?”

Hikage was crying. He could feel it, tears burning eyes he couldn’t shut, running down cheeks he couldn’t quite feel. He couldn’t move. Everything in him was burning and frozen all at once. He didn’t even know how to begin to react to Shouta’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him. Slowly, painfully, taking all his strength and effort, he turned his head up towards Shouta, standing next to him. He looked scared. Worried. Hikage wondered if he’d look like that if he knew the truth.

Thickly, with an uncooperative tongue, Hikage managed to say, “I’m not.”

“What? Not what? What’s is it?”

“I’m not… Only child.”

Everything in him rebelled from this, from contradicting Hizashi’s words. Well… Nearly everything. The parts of him that were left, the parts still named Hikage, those parts were screaming for retribution. How dare he? How fucking dare he take everything and then deny the one who’d given? Hizashi walked on a golden road and it seemed he was now claiming to have made the gold as well. Wasn’t it bad luck, to spit on someone’s shadow?

What did that say about someone who spit on their own?

Shouta was holding his hands when he came back, blinking out of whatever had gripped him. “Hey…” He still looked so kind. “What did you mean, sugar? You’re not an only child?”

Hikage felt his hackles rise. A cold sweat broke out over his skin. It felt like ripping his own throat out to speak, but speak he did. “I’m not. I have an identical twin.”

“An identical-“ Shouta was shocked. Rightfully so.

Hikage pulled one hand free, tapped the caved in side of his face. “He gave me this.”

“Shit… Jesus, ‘Zashi.” He a hand through his hair, grumpy face twisted in an expression that seemed to be so many things all at once, none of those things being pleasant. “Is… Where is he now?”

Where is Hizashi now? “I don’t know. He doesn’t exactly keep me up to date.”

Shouta stood, hugged him hard, their cheeks pressed together. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t need to be. It wasn’t his fault that Hikage had been raised like this, the extra. Wasn’t his fault that Hizashi had apparently liked having a servant more than a brother. Wasn’t his fault that Hizashi did not love him. And why did he think he had? When… When was the last time Hizashi had actually even said that? Had he ever? Or had it always been Hikage?

Hikage’s gut twisted in discomfort from just thinking about his brother like that. Maybe, part of him whispered, there’s an explanation. Maybe it wasn’t because he’s ashamed of you. Maybe it wasn’t because he wanted it to be easier to use you.

Maybe he can justify this.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Maybe it’s better if I don’t exist.

Hikage returned Shouta’s hug. He needed to talk to Hizashi. He needed to know who else knew that he was alive. Was it truly just Hizashi? Was the twin that denied him the only person alive that knew his name? If he had died before today, would he have been given a funeral? Would Hizashi have told the world, “I had a brother and he is gone,” or would he have done it quietly? Would the knowledge of their shared blood have died with him?

Why, he wondered dully, did I ever expect something different?

“… We need to get to work, Sho’.”

“Right… Right, okay.”

Shouta was worried about him, extremely worried, but he didn’t say anything else about it. Just helped him clean up, watched with hurt in his dark eyes as Hikage again cooked for another man. He looked wounded, like the damage Hizashi had done to Hikage had been done to Shouta as well and Hikage wondered if that would still be true when he found out that the man with him now was not the husband, but the twin.

And he would find out. Hikage knew that with a sickly sort of certainty. Like when you aren’t in pain, but the unease of your guts lets you know that you soon will be. Soon, Shouta would be asking Hizashi questions, questions that he would have to answer truthfully thanks to Hikage. It would all come out and Hikage’s half-life would fall apart.

He didn’t put his hair up, it looked ridiculous anyways, he just jerked it up into a bun.

Shouta was… careful with him. He didn’t kiss him goodbye when they parted for their classes, he just took his hand and looked at his face for a long moment. “You’ll be okay?”

“I don’t know, Sho’. I really don’t.” If felt bad to tell the truth. Painful.

They parted ways. That hurt too.

When he shuffled into his classroom, looked over at his class, they all seemed surprised at the state he was in. Someone in the back called out, “Is All Might okay?”

Oh sugar, Hikage thought. Don’t you know that none of us are?

But what he said was, “He’s wonderful. I just couldn’t sleep last night. Eraser’s started snoring.” The thought of stern Aizawa-sensei snoring got a giggle from them at least. He got behind his desk and sat heavily, getting his phone out and looking at the dark screen for a moment. Then he took a breath. His problems could wait. His nonlife could wait. He had kids to raise.

“Alright, today I’m going to explain triple contractions to you all.”

“Fucking whats?!”

“Triple contractions. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like, Tetsutetsu. Three apostrophes.”

And it seemed that “Y’all’d’ve” was going to be the thing that killed these poor kids.

He let them be loud. He let them play around a bit. Let Tetsutetsu throw paper across the room to hit his friends on the head. It made him feel just a bit better, to see them happy. But the feeling was short lived. As soon as class was over and they all ran off, as in as much of a hurry as always, that empty, gnawing feeling started up again. That voice in the back of his head hissed that everyone of his blood, even his own damn twin, hated him. He shook his head. He needed to hear it from Hizashi.

The classroom was empty. He pressed the call button. It rang so many times that Hikage thought he wouldn’t answer. But then there he was, voice as bright as the sun, “Yo! That you ‘Kage? What’s up, something happen with Shouta?”

And all at once Hikage realised that that was how it always was.

“How’s Shouta?”

“Is Shouta okay?”

“What’s Sho’ doing?”

Never did he ask how his brother was. Never did he even seem to consider that Hikage could be hurting or in trouble.

Every scar he’d cut into his skin burned like new.

“He’s fine.” He spat the words like poison. There was a moment of silence.

“Um… Then what’s up? Why call?”

Hikage was gripping the phone too hard. He forced his hand to relax, made sure he had control over his voice. “Why didn’t you tell Shouta that I existed?”

Silence. Deafening, total silence. He heard Hizashi’s breath catch, like he was about to speak, but no words came.

“Why, Hizashi? Why did you tell him you were an only child? Does anyone know that I exist?”

Please, he thought. Please make this better. Please, please, Hizashi.

You’re everything I have.

“I- I just-“ Hizashi huffed. “It made it easier to swap places. And besides, it wasn’t like you were ever gunna meet him normally. Hey, where’s this coming from anyway? Does it matter why?” Hikage felt his hands start to shake. He was falling to fucking pieces. He was dying, dying, gone, cut into nothing at Hizashi’s hands, carved into his likeness for his purpose, exactly as their dear parents had always wanted.

“Does anyone know. That I. Exist?”

He had to repeat the question to get the answer he expected.

“No, everyone thinks I’m the only one. Seriously dude, what’s up? You never asked before now, why’s it suddenly important?”

“If I died, no one would know.”

“What?”

“Shouta and All Might figured out that my cheek is crushed. You’re going to have to break your own or explain some things when you get back.”

“Aw hell, serious-“

“And I told your husband he’s got a brother-in-law. Goodbye, Hizashi.”

“Wait, why di-“

He hung up on him. His hands were shaking. What… What now? What did he have?

Hizashi was going to come home, shove him back out, to the curb. Live his grand, safe life. But what about Hikage? All his life, since he was old enough to understand what he was, he’d been Hizashi’s extra. Hizashi’s support, Hizashi’s tool, all his life he’d been Hizashi’s. He didn’t know how to be anything else. For more than thirty years he’d followed dutifully, done as he was told, and even though his life hurt, it was all he knew. A person can get used to pain, but could he get used to what would come now? Uselessness? Purposlessness? What was he supposed to do? A shadow with no body to follow?

What if not even Hizashi would talk to him after this?

His body began to shake. No one would know his name and that would be the same as not having one at all. He would never see Shouta again. He would never teach his kids. He wasn’t going to be able to see All Might.

He choked on a sob, pressed a hand over his mouth to quiet it until the urge passed.

Maybe it would be okay. Maybe Hizashi could come up with something about where his twin was. Maybe he really would break his own cheek to match, take the step that Hikage had taken years ago for the sake of his ruse. Maybe it would all be okay and he could keep living the same as always.

What else could he do?

It was only during his free period just before his last class that Hikage worked up the nerve to go to the teacher’s lounge. He didn’t know why it had been so hard to stand. In his pocket, his phone buzzed for the hundredth time. He ignored it.

Shouta and All Might both were there when he arrived, both with a cup of tea. Hikage wanted so badly to sit beside All Might. To hide against his side and never ever come out into the world again. He sat next to Shouta, let the man take his hand.

“Hey, ‘Zashi.”

“Hey, Sho’.”

“I told All Might you have a twin. I hope that’s okay, I should have asked first.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s… I mean, he is our boyfriend.” His bad attempt at a joke worked. Shouta just barely smiled.

All Might, however, nearly choked. His whole face was red again and he looked away quickly. Who would have thought that the Symbol of Peace was so easily flustered? It was actually really sweet. Hikage wanted to figure out what else made him blush. How soft a suggestion would make the blood rise to his cheeks? How much before even his ears were red?

He felt almost okay inside. Amazing how just looking at Him made Hikage feel nearly human.

All Might looked to him first, when he stopped staring at the wall. He caught Hikage staring and for a moment they just looked at each other. Then Hikage was blushing too and he lowered his head to focus on Shouta’s hand. All Might’s deep voice was gentle. “Mic… It was your twin that broke your cheek, wasn’t it?”

He jumped a little, glanced at Shouta, but he was already shaking his head. “How did you-“

“It just makes the most sense. You’ve mentioned your parents before, several times, but not this brother until today. And you said a family member caused that wound. Not clarifying who it was just makes the brother fit the bill the best.”

He was too damn smart. Hikage laughed but there was no amusement in it. “Yeah. My twin broke my face when I was seven. He really didn’t mean to though, I meant it when I said it was an accident.” He was giving up too much information, he knew. He wasn’t supposed to talk as himself. If Hizashi was going to fix this (did he want him to fix it?) then Hikage was going to have to start acting a lot more like Hizashi.

Shouta offered his tea and Hikage accepted it.

“Hey… ‘Zashi.” Hikage made a noise at Shouta to show he’d heard. “Did something happen with your brother? Is that why you’ve been acting weird?”

Hikage considered what to say about that. How much did he reveal about himself? What could he safely say that would convince Shouta?

Did he want to ‘convince’ him of anything?

He was tired. He was so, so tired. Thirty two years is a long time and he so wanted to rest. Tears blurred his vision and he let go of Shouta’s hand to wipe them away almost angrily. He didn’t want to cry, not here, not now.

Softly, Shouta kissed his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Sho’. It’s… Yeah, part of what’s up with me was him. He… He’s always…” He fumbled for the right words, the words that wouldn’t dig a hole too deep for him to climb out of. But then he looked up, at All Might, made the grievous mistake of letting his eyes meet those perfect blue ones and all at once his breath was caught and nothing mattered but him. He was helpless before that warm look, All Might’s expression almost affectionate as he watched him flounder for words.

And of course, for him, it all just flooded out.

“He’s always, for as long as I can remember, made me feel like I don’t deserve to be considered human.” All Might’s eyes widened, just slightly, hurt and sympathy disrupting the almost dreamy expression he’d taken on, in the silent moment where they just looked at each other. “He- My parents- they all- my family used me as a servant. I was supposed to cook and clean and take care of everything because that was why they’d even had me in the first place. I thought that- I thought for so long that them keeping me was a good thing, something I should be thankful for, that they were being unimaginably kind in allowing me to live under their roof. He was the golden boy, the sun itself, and I was… I was his shadow. His personal chef or butler or whatever he wanted. I was never… I wasn’t even allowed to have my name.”

Shouta grabbed his arm and whatever it was that made him so desperate to spill his soul to All Might, it shattered and he could breathe again, move again. He looked down at Shouta. He could hardly bear to see the pain he’d put in those dark eyes. “Hizashi… Oh, Sunlight.” Shouta hugged him, held him tightly, like he thought that if he squeezed him hard enough, then all his cracked pieces would fuse back together and he wouldn’t fall apart anymore. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Because I’m not the one you married.

He almost said it. Almost wanted to say it. But he was too scared. Too terrified of living some other way. He shook his head and looked down at his lap. He was so damn tired.

“Hey…” Shouta rubbed his shoulder gently, leaned against him. “Look, we can find someone else to take care of your last class, okay? You go home and lay down. You look worn out.”

He kind of wanted to stay, wanted to spend as much time as he could in the only place he’d been happy in years, but most of him was too tired to argue. He just nodded numbly and stood. “Alright… I’ll see you later, Sho’.”

“Yeah.”

He started for the door but then turned to look at All Might, just one more time. God, how was it possible that even after years, even after all this time, even after learning his weakness, that Hikage’s heart still went wild at the sight of him? Why was it that his entire soul was attempting to get to him? That his whole body yearned so deeply that it left a physical ache? “Make sure you eat, okay, All Might? Take care of yourself.”

All Might looked down, maybe guiltily, and nodded. “Yeah. I will. Bye, Mic.”

“Bye, All Might. I made you lunch again, by the way. It’s probably still in the fridge.” He left quickly then, just ready to be gone. His mask was slipping and the effort of holding it up was excruciating. It felt like dying. No… No, surely dying was far softer than this (otherwise he had nothing to look forward to after all). This was an agony unique to life itself.

This is all his fault, Hikage thought as he shuffled through the school. All Might’s fault, all of it…

It was him who’d weakened Hikage’s resolve. Him who’d made him want more than half a life. Him who seemed to, by his mere presence alone, drag Hikage’s soul out from under his disguise and make it face every wound it had ever suffered at his family’s hands. If it hadn’t been for him, Hikage could have borne it. He could have nodded, said “Yes, I’m an only child” and make up some bullshit about how it might be nice to have a brother. Could have shut it down, ignored it, carry on with his work, his day, do his brother’s job with his brother’s face, but as it was he couldn’t even smile.

He was tired, and he was angry. It surprised him, how angry he was. How every part of him could burn with absolute rage and yet his whole body be too worn out to do anything about that. No… No, his body was fine, it was his very soul that was worn thin. He couldn’t do this anymore. It scared him so badly, but he couldn’t do this anymore, not if he wanted to live.

He took his phone out of this pocket, ignored the list of texts, the number next to MISSED CALL. He couldn’t help but get the gist of what Hizashi was trying to say to him though. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

What indeed. Well… If he didn’t know, then Hikage certainly wasn’t going to be the one to tell him.

He typed out a message.

I can’t do this.

Hizashi answered quickly, before Hikage could even lower his phone (he always had been a quick typer).

Can’t do what?

What? What couldn’t he do?

I don’t think I can live for you anymore.

What? Bro, what does that mean?
Bro?
Hikage
Hikage answer me
Bro?
Bro what are you doing?
What are you going to do?
Don’t be a fucking idiot, Hikage! Answer me!!!!
Please.
dont do this baby brother

Hikage shoved his phone in his pocket. Really? Now he was his ‘baby brother,’ when he decided he didn’t want to be on a leash anymore? It made him madder. He was so fucking angry.

He didn’t mean to. He didn’t. But it was so easy to let his Quirk slip sometimes. So easy when he was so fucked up inside.

He screamed. He screamed, a high-pitched siren call that echoed down the mountain, shook the trees, and even from here, walking home from U.A., he could see glass shattering from the force of sound he produced, clearly visible thanks to the new treeless stretch of wood. Trees lay on their sides like corpses, soon-dead roots towards a waterless sky. They wouldn’t make it much longer. How easy it was, to kill them. To kill anything, really. Anything at all.

Heros would be coming soon, to investigate. They’d be searching for the cause of the sound, of the damage, they’d want answers. Hikage didn’t want to be around to give them. He hurried up, suddenly eager to be out of the trees.

And he made it to the city, at least. No one seemed to be waiting for him or looking for him, and as he examined the aftermath of his own explosion he found it… Oddly satisfying. To walk through a near-empty street, quiet save for the crunch of glass under his boots. To be unquestioned by those ‘in charge’ who kept all those interested bystanders at bay. In a way, it was like this belonged to him now. That, by scarring something, he laid claim to it. Like carving his name in its skin.

How would the world react if he, in his brother’s clothes, his brother’s face, destroyed everything? Would they still love him when they knew the truth? Would they still rush to hug him, grab him, violate him under the guise of friendly touch? Would people still sit to listen to a radio show when the voice on the other side had screamed a hole through their friend’s body? Would he be allowed to teach and patrol when his face brought terror?

What would be left of Hizashi if he had none of that?

He got close to the border of his destruction, numb and calm, looked over the police tape at people being bandaged and helped up.

And there was a coat. A little coat, a child’s, bright yellow. It was torn up, maybe cut off a kid with wounds, and the cheerful color was marred by red that in no way looked like rust or ketchup or dirt or any number of innocent things. He’d hurt people. He’d hurt a child. And he didn’t care. It didn’t stir any feelings of regret or guilt and that was what scared him. Scared him back into feeling, back into his body, and all at once he could feel how badly his hands shook, how his legs were weak and burning, how the weapon around his neck felt heavy as sin against his shoulders.

What was wrong with him? What the fuck was wrong with him?

He didn’t stop on the way home. He needed to hide. He needed to get out of these clothes that weren’t his, needed to get away from all these fragile, fragile buildings. These fragile, fragile human beings.

And he was so fucking scared of himself.

Chapter Text

He turned off all the lights, pulled all the shutters closed, hid in darkness like if the world around him matched what was pushing through the cracks in his soul then he would simply fade away into it, become one with it, vanish from the face of the planet, never to be hurt again.

As soon as he’d gotten home he’d torn off Hizashi’s clothes, pulled on Shouta’s instead, and somehow that was far more bearable. They smelled the same, of course they did, Hizashi and Shouta were practically (literally sometimes) joined at the hips, but knowing that Hizashi had never worn what was now on his body somewhat calmed the itchy writhing feeling just under his skin.

But then just being in the semi-open space of the kitchen or the bedroom or the living room felt like too much, too much room to be seen in, to be attacked. He didn’t know what he was scared of. He supposed it didn’t matter. He crawled into the space between the wall and an armchair, huddled in the darkness and hid his face against his knees. He shouldn’t have come home. Shouldn’t have let Shouta convince him. He should have stayed there, with All Might. He shouldn’t be alone right now. What if he hurt someone else?

What if he liked it?

He was choking on sobs he was scared to let free, pulling at his hair and rocking in the small space, trying to press himself against the walls like it could hold him together long enough. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there. All he had to tell the time was a slice of light on the wall, a single bar coming through the curtains. He wasn’t sure how long it was that he was there, huddled in a ball, but it was long enough that that stripe moved nearly out of sight. But this wasn’t just his home and eventually the door opened.

Hikage flinched from it, it was too much light and his eyes weren’t used to it.

He thought it was Shouta. He figured he would call for him (for Hizashi) and start turning on lights. Maybe he’d look around a little before letting him be. Whatever happened, he fully expected to stay here, left alone and still in something like shadow.

What he never could have predicted was Hizashi’s voice, screaming just shy of his Quirk’s activation.

”Hikage?!”

Footsteps thundered, Hizashi throwing himself through the apartment. Hikage heard a door bang open (either a bathroom or the bedroom by the sound of it). A light clicked on and Hizashi made a sound that was nearly a sob.

Softer steps followed. Shouta was here, too, it seemed. Hikage leaned forward, peeked around the edge of the chair just in time to see Shouta stop just shy of the hallway that Hizashi had bolted down. He could hear him speak. “Is he?” Hikage couldn’t hear his brother, but whatever he said in response to that must have been what Shouta wanted to hear, because the tension in his shoulders fell away and he sighed. “Good. I’ll check the bedroom, he has to be here somewhere.”

They were looking for him. Oh, no no no, they were looking for him. That meant Shouta knew. Shouta knew he existed, that he wasn’t his husband.

Unless Hizashi lied.

Would he…? What if he did? What if Shouta thought he was looking for an enemy? A shape-shifter, maybe. Or something like it. Or maybe he’d convinced Shouta that he was a bad person, a villain who’d taken his place by force for some evil purpose. What would they do once they’d found him? Would he bother to try and stop them?

“Hikage?”

Everything stopped then. Just like it had, years and years ago, just like it had just a few days ago, just like it always always would with him. Because All Might was there too. And he’d just said Hikage’s name. He was so big in the small apartment, still beefed up like he always was for the public. His shoulders were slumped so his head wouldn’t bump the roof, arms held close to his chest like he thought he’d bump something and break it. Hikage shifted to see him better, bumped the chair he hid behind, and All Might turned quickly towards the sound.

Hikage hid again, quickly, biting his knuckle to keep quiet. His whole body was shaking.

What if they knew that it was him who’d destroyed a fair portion of U.A.’s forest? What if All Might was here to take him away, to jail or worse? He couldn’t take that, he’d kill himself before they did that. He could shout himself apart, he knew. It wouldn’t even be that hard.

All Might came closer to his chair, Hikage could hear him walking. The floor creaked beneath his massive weight. Then he stopped and, judging by the sound and the shift of his shadow on the wall, he sat down on the floor. A moment of silence passed and Hikage wondered what was happening. Then All Might started to hum. Softly, quietly, far too quiet for anyone but Hikage to hear, All Might hummed the song that had played the day they met, when they’d danced across a ballroom floor in each other’s arms, hardly aware of anything else.

A single sob slipped past Hikage’s fingers and he pressed his whole hand hard against his mouth to better shut himself up. The chair creaked loud, not made to carry a man the size of the one that was now apparently climbing over it. A large hand reached over the top. Hikage reached up to grab it. Still humming softly, All Might squeezed Hikage’s hand so carefully, his large hand completely enveloping Hikage’s. And he was so warm. He was so damn warm.

Shifting clumsily onto his knees, Hikage pressed his cheek against the back of All Might’s large hand, just trying to take in the warmth of his tan skin, trying to hold himself together so he didn’t scream this building into rubble and kill everyone inside.

He didn’t want to be that. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be evil.

But God, something in that was singing his name.

All Might hummed the last note, went quiet for only a heartbeat. “Hikage?”

Hikage took a shuddering breath. Maybe cruelty was in him. Maybe some part of him would be tainted for as long as he lived. But no matter how loudly, how sweetly that dark world called for him, something else sung louder. Because right now the sound of his heart drowned out all else and the name it beat against his ribs and soul was that of the man who hummed him a song and whispered his name like a prayer.

Two sets of steps, Shouta and Hizashi. Hizashi spoke first. “Did you find him?” Why was his voice so raw?

“I did. He was back here.” All Might let him go and Hikage whimpered, reaching up for him. “Hey now, I’ve got you. I am here.” Leaning over the chair, smiling at him, All Might reached into his little space and plucked him easily up, cradling him against his chest like a child. Hikage leaned his head against that broad chest, shut his eyes to listen to the steady thump of his heart.

“Holy shit.” Shouta. “There really are two of you.”

“I told you. Hey, is he alright, All Might?”

Hizashi reached up and grabbed Hikage’s arm, pulled it away from his side, and all at once, all in one bloody flood came every pent up emotion, every pushed away thought, every single moment that he had wanted to tear into his brother’s throat with his teeth and not stop until the body quit twitching, it all came rushing through him, pounding through his body with the strength of a tsunami, concentrated on the single point where his twin’s skin met his own. And he leapt at him. Straight out of All Might’s arms, screeching like a bat out of hell (though with his Quirk in check), Hikage landed on Hizashi and took them both down to the ground, biting the first thing he could get his mouth on. Hizashi was squealing, writhing beneath him, and Hikage did everything he could to get through all that tough leather his brother loved so much and get to his bare skin, to claw him open, force his brother to bear the wounds he’d taken in his name.

Warm hands clamped around his waist, lifted him easily, and Hikage all but went limp, looking lovingly up at All Might as he held him. Shouta was helping Hizashi up and Hikage was disappointed to see he’d bitten only the collar of his twin’s coat.

And that bastard had the nerve to look shocked. He looked at Hikage like all this was unprompted and unexpected. Like he’d never once in his life thought that his ‘baby brother’ would ever fight against the leash that was choking him to death. Shouta’s hair was raising, ready to erase one or both of their matching Quirks. Hikage looked away from them. He didn’t like the calculating look on Shouta’s face, like he was wondering how to beat him. He didn’t have to wonder that. Hikage wouldn’t hurt Shouta, Shouta had done nothing wrong. It was Hizashi that he wanted to sink his teeth into. Hizashi who needed to learn.

Shutting his eyes tightly, covering them with his hands, Hikage let out a miserable mewl. No, no, he didn’t want to hurt Hizashi. He didn’t. That… That wasn’t who he was, he didn’t want to hurt him, kill him, paint the walls with his blood, he did not want to hurt Hizashi. He would not.

All Might’s grip on him shifted and Hikage found himself being laid against the hero’s body like a child. He laid his head on All Might’s shoulder without complaint, relaxing and allowing the massive man to hold him up with one arm. “I’m sorry…”

“Hush, it’s alright now…” All Might touched his cheek, briefly brushing the crumpled bone. “Yes, this is the one we’ve been around these last few days.”

“I see.” Shouta’s voice was steely. Hikage didn’t bother to lift his head and see what was going on. “So, Hizashi. Explain.”

“W-Well, I just-“

“No. No excuses. Tell me exactly where you’ve been.”

“I-I- Well you see-“

He was trying to come up with something. Hikage muttered, “Firecracker mentioned him yesterday.”

“What?” Shouta tapped him gently on the arm, just once. “What’s that?”

“Firecracker. They mentioned him. I think they’ve been together for most of the time he was gone.” He didn’t open his eyes, but he could hear Shouta move away, heard a smack.

“Ow! Shoutaaaa!”

“Shut the fuck up. How long have you been doing this shit, Hizashi.”

“I-I’ve only been gone for a few days…”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

The silence was heavy. All Might shifted his weight from foot to foot, rocking Hikage gently, and the softness of it made tears prick his eyes. He didn’t bother to hold them back, just let them fall onto the big man’s white shirt.

Hizashi finally answered. “Started two or three years after we got married.”

“Two or- You’ve been letting a stranger that I didn’t even fucking knew existed into my house, my fucking bed, for twelve years?!”

“It sounds bad when you say it like that…”

“Because it’s bad, Hizashi!”

He knew it. Shouta hated him. And why shouldn’t he? He’d let this happen too. He was to blame, just as much as Hizashi was. He turned his head, tried to block out the light in the shelter of All Might’s shoulder and coughed out a miserable sob. All Might patted his back. “Um… Aizawa, maybe not so harsh?”

“What are you-? Shit. Um… Hey. Hey, Hikage, it’s alright, this isn’t your fault.” Shouta sounded a whole lot softer speaking to him. Hikage didn’t believe it. “Hizashi’s the dumbass, not you, I didn’t- Shit, look, we’re going in the other room. All Might, can you watch him?”

“Of course.”

“Come with me, Hizashi.”

From the sound of it, his brother was being forcibly hauled away. Hikage didn’t bother to look. All Might didn’t say anything, just carried him a ways, sat down still holding him. The couch creaked in protest against All Might’s weight and Hikage heard him mutter, “Oh dear.” But nothing cracked at least.

For a moment they just stayed like they were. Hikage wasn’t even sure he would be able to bear anything else. But then All Might pulled him gently back, sat him in his lap instead, and Hikage found that looking up at his face was far better than darkness. Because All Might’s light was gentle. He relaxed a bit, able to ignore the way the tectonic plates of his soul shifted and ground, slamming together with enough force to shake his entire being, he could ignore it.

It was strange, to say the least, the position All Might had placed him in. Just from the size of his massive legs, Hikage was forced to straddle him, his whole weight pressed against those powerful thighs that forced his legs apart. Not to say it was uncomfortable, quite the opposite. He just hoped it had been on purpose and it wouldn’t embarrass All Might later. Neither of them spoke. Hikage didn’t even know where to begin anyway and, oddly enough, All Might seemed to like just looking at him, blue eyes seeking out something in his face. Those huge hands were laid gently on his hips, holding him without restraining him. Uncertain what to do with his own hands, Hikage kept them close to his chest.

What are you doing here? he wanted so badly to ask. What are you going to do with me?

Hizashi and Shouta were arguing now, loudly enough that the murmur of their voices reached the two of them and Hikage looked away from All Might’s handsome face to look worriedly towards the bedroom door. Gently, so very gently, All Might touched his cheek, turned his head back towards him. He touched that scarred up bone like it was something to be loved. “You know, I noticed this then too.”

“… what?”

“When we first met. I assume that was the first time?” Clearly he expected a response. Hikage nodded stupidly before shutting his eyes and pressing his fucked up cheek against All Might’s palm, trying to forget everything in the deep tone of his voice. “I wanted to ask you about it, but I didn’t know if it would be rude and besides, you were with Aizawa so… I did not think excessive interest on my part would be taken well by either of you.” … Interest? “So imagine my surprise when I meet Present Mic again and he seems to have miraculously healed! I figured I’d just imagined this, and besides he didn’t… He doesn’t feel like you do, if that makes sense.” It made sense. And it was such a deep relief, to hear that he was not entirely his brother that he felt tears start to come again.

“Anyway, when I saw the spot again after being around Mic for so long, I wasn’t sure if I was going blind or just mad. But here you are, a whole separate person after all. At least now I know I’m not crazy.”

“Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy…”

All Might laughed, a deep, beautiful sound that filled Hikage’s whole chest up with love as sweet and golden as honey. “Then there’s a chance, eh?”

“Yeah…” He tried to smile but it crumpled. It was almost possible, to forget everything. Almost possible to be okay. Here, so close to him, touching him even, it was almost. But everything was still there, still pushing, still gnawing, and it was finally catching up and he couldn’t stop the tears anymore. All at once, he was sobbing, shaking and taking ragged, wet breaths that were nearly coughed back out. He likely looked horrid, he didn’t want anyone to look at him, he wanted to be behind the chair again.

“H-Hey now…” All Might pulled him close, practically dragging him across the distance separating them to press Hikage against his chest. “Hey, you’re safe, you’re safe, I am right here.” Massive arms encircled him, so much warmer, so much kinder than the walls and it burned, to be so lovingly cared for.

Not for you, not for you, he sees your brother through your face.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and yell, scream until his throat burned, until his breath came out like blood mist, until the cartilage in his trachea popped, his whole throat coming unraveled, his skin tearing itself apart, muscle tearing loose, the vertebra in his neck cracking, the nerves of his spinal cord fraying, unravelling, coming loose until he held his own head in his hands, still screaming.

“What the fuck is that, All Might?!”

Shouta? He was back but Hikage could barely hear him over a loud ringing, a high-pitched whine like a fire alarm.

Then it shut off all at once and he could feel how hard he was breathing, how each exhale wheezed from his lungs. He turned just enough to see Shouta looking at him, hair waving around his head like he was underwater.

“He just started ringing.” All Might wasn’t letting him go, even when Shouta came closer to get a better look at him. He stayed all but wrapped around him. Hikage wasn’t sure when it had happened, but at some point All Might had moved him between his legs instead of on top of them. He was surrounded by him. It felt a lot safer than anywhere else he’d ever been. He swallowed hard, pressed himself against All Might’s chest and managed to control his breathing.

His voice sounded like he hadn’t used it in months. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Panicking? Don’t be stupid.” Shouta leaned forward, getting himself under All Might’s arm enough to get their faces close together. “You can’t help it. Are you okay now?” His hair was laid flat, no longer taking his Quirk. Hikage could kill him, it wouldn’t even be hard. He could shout him into several dozen bloody pieces.

Shutting his eyes, grinding his knuckles against the lids until he saw stars, he choked out a sob. Not him. Dear God, not him.

“Move, big man.” Shouta was forcibly shoving himself into All Might’s lap. Briefly, so briefly that Hikage wondered if he’d even seen it, All Might resisted Shouta’s efforts to get close. Then he relented, allowed Shouta to huddle in the shelter of his body alongside Hikage. And they were so close that their foreheads touched and all Hikage could really see was night-black hair and tired eyes that looked at him with only a weary sort of affection and a wary sort of trust. “Hey.”

“…hi.”

“I want to talk to you about all this when you’re ready.”

“When I’m ready?”

“Yeah. I won’t force you, kay? You just let me know. Take all the time you need.”

He sounded strangely defeated. Hikage wondered dully if he’d just destroyed his brother’s marriage. What would be left of Shouta then? He couldn’t possibly care less about how Hizashi ended up after this, but Hikage had seen firsthand that there was no one and no thing that Shouta loved more than Hizashi. What would he do without his, perhaps literal, other half? It would be like losing all his limbs at once. He’d be lost. Hikage didn’t want that.

But he didn’t know how to say it. Didn’t know what he could possibly say to fix this.

Gently, he pushed back against the pressure of where their skin touched, almost like the greeting headbutt one cat gave to another. Then, nearly hesitant, he rubbed his cheek against Shouta’s. I’m here. As me or as him, whatever you need. Don’t fall to pieces like me. Don’t give him that.

Shouta let out a soft breath, not quite enough of anything to be readable. But he returned the touch, the affection. Then he was gone, slipping out of All Might’s grasp with far greater ease than he’d had getting in. The second Shouta was gone, All Might wrapped closer around him, bringing his legs up to cage him in more than his arms alone could do. Hikage lounged easily in the shelter of his large body. He felt safe here from even himself. Leaning against All Might again, Hikage absently drew circles on the hero’s chest.

He pretended he didn’t notice the way All Might’s breathing briefly jumped.

“Ah- Are you alright?”

Hikage looked up, thoughts sluggish as he tried to push past the effect those blue eyes had on him. “I’m… I’m breathing.”

All Might’s expression was soft. “I suppose that sometimes that’s all I could ask for.”

“Mmhmm.” He didn’t look away and neither did All Might. Around him, All Might drew his limbs closer, holding him like he never wanted to let go, never wanted anyone else to touch him. With what little brain power he was willing to use, Hikage wondered why it was so easy for them to simply sit still and look at each other’s faces.

But eventually, after an amount of time he would never be able to know, All Might’s cheeks dusted pink and he looked away slightly, leaning back against the back of the couch. Hikage squinted at the light All Might’s head had previously been blocking out. “So, um, wh-what do I call you? Hikage is rather familiar, but I feel like you wouldn’t like being called Yamada.”

“You feel correct.”

“So, are you a registered hero?” All Might was already shifting and then stopping himself, like he wanted to hide Hikage from the world again. Hikage wished he would. Instead, All Might let his hands rest against Hikage’s sides again, holding him extraordinarily gently for someone who was worried about being too familiar.

“I am.”

“What’s your hero name?”

Hikage felt his cheeks start to burn and he looked away, focusing on All Might’s massive thigh, wondering how it much of his arms it would take to wrap around it fully. Then steam started to rise through the cloth and Hikage blinked, looking up just as All Might raised a hand to his mouth and coughed wetly, clearly trying to hold it back. His body lost its bulk, skin visibly paling, until Hikage found himself sitting in the small amount of space in front of a thin man who looked painfully apologetic. “Sorry, I-“ his own coughing broke through his sentence and Hikage gently rubbed his shoulder until his breathing eased into something like normal. “I apologise. I’m… Just a bit tired.”

Tired, huh? Hikage took All Might’s thin hand, looked at the blood on the back, bright against his pale skin. “Don’t apologise for who you are… I already told you, didn’t I? You’re a beautiful person.”

That nearly scared look on All Might’s face, like he was waiting to be met with revulsion, it faded into the soft recognition that made Hikage blush to the tips of his ears. For a second they just sat there. Then, unable to handle that soft stare when it was truly directed at him, Hikage did the only thing he could do when the thought of moving away was just as agonising: he moved closer. All Might gave a surprised chuff when Hikage pressed close, hiding his face in his chest once more. Shaking, worried he’d be pushed away, Hikage gave a sigh of relief when All Might just wrapped his arms around him again, hugging him.

For a moment they were quiet and Hikage hoped that All Might had forgotten his question. But then again, he said quietly, “What’s your hero name?”

Blushing hard for a different reason now, he muttered, “It’s terrible. It’s stupid, you’ll hate it.”

“Try me.”

“W-Well… My brother, he… He told me what he was going to make his hero name, so I um… Y-Ya know how bootleg movies are named?”

“Just tell me.” He sounded amused and Hikage wryly thought that if he thought this was funny then what came next was gunna be fucking hysterical.

“It’s um… P-Presentation Michael.”

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, gripping a handful of All Might’s shirt and preparing to be laughed at. But he didn’t laugh at him. All he said was, “Then may I call you Michael?”

“Sure…”

A hum rumbled up from All Might’s chest and without thinking, Hikage copied it.

And the bedroom door slammed open with enough force that All Might grabbed Hikage tightly, holding him close as he changed, huge again and cradling Hikage like he was a small baby and not, in fact, a taller-than-average grown man. Hizashi rocketed out into the living room, looking thoroughly panicked. “Hika-“

Shouta’s capture weapon wrapped around Hizashi’s body, his neck, his arms, his torso, his head, muzzling him in the process. He let out a muffled squawk as Shouta jerked him backwards, stepping into sight just in time to keep Hizashi from falling over. “Sorry, I’m trying to keep him in here, it’s harder than I thought it would be.” Trussed up and being manhandled with surprising ease, Hizashi gave Hikage a miserable look, begging for help. Hikage hissed at him. And he had truly never seen a man look so defeated, so broken-hearted, so absolutely crushed as Hizashi looked in that moment. He stopped fighting. Shouta carried him off, out of sight out of mind.

All Might set Hikage down gently, powered down with a sigh that was some strange mix of grief and relief. “They really were cruel to you, weren’t they, Michael?”

Hikage considered that, wondered if All Might was thinking of before, when he’d spilled part of his soul in the teacher’s lounge (would he ever be able to go into that room again?). He’d always thought of it as natural. He had to, to convince himself to get up in the morning. But yeah. Yeah, he’d always been treated pretty much like shit. “Yeah… I don’t think any of them loved me. I don’t think anyone ever has. That feels funny.”

“Funny?”

“Not funny funny, but you know… Funny.”

“I’m sure there’s someone.”

Hikage shook his head with a laugh like death. “How can someone love something they don’t know exists? No one even knows I’m alive. No one would grieve for me.”

“I know you exist.”

Hikage’s breath caught in his throat. He was crying again. He’d cried more in this one day then he had in perhaps the last five years of his life. All Might’s hand came to rest on the back of his head, gently herding him close, and Hikage followed the pressure, hidden again in the safety of All Might’s chest. It was so much easier to be himself around the man he’d never been able to be Hizashi for. Whatever ‘himself’ meant. Whatever ‘himself’ was.

“Hey… Are you gunna be okay?”

Hikage sniffed, tried to stop crying. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ve ever been. I’m so scared.” He fought the urge to wipe his face on All Might’s shirt, using his own sleeve instead. “What… What am I? What do I do now?” Please tell me who to be, please, I can do anything so long as it’s you holding my leash.

“You’re Hikage. And now, you do whatever makes you feel… Safer. Stabler. Whatever that is, you will not be in the wrong. So long as you are taking care of yourself, no one can judge you, Michael… And if you’d like me to be, I will be here for you.” He looked up, his cheek still pressed to All Might’s chest, and studied his face with something like awe. All Might knew who he was. He knew his name, he saw him, and he was still here. Still wanted to be here. His hand was still in Hikage’s hair. Then his thin cheeks flushed pink and he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “And, ah, Aizawa too of course. We both want the best for you.”

“Mmhmm…” He just kept looking up at him and eventually All Might looked back down and they just sort of studied each other again (why was it so easy to forget everything but him?). It was almost hard to think, hard to devote any measure of brain power to anything other than memorising All Might’s gaunt face. He really was so beautiful, regardless of what he thought. Against the back of his head, All Might’s hand moved, rubbing him gently. He had such big hands.

When the bedroom door opened again they sprang apart like they’d been caught doing something wrong.

Hizashi came out first. His cheeks were wet, his eyes red-rimmed, he sniffed as he dragged a bag behind him. Hair messed up, glasses crooked, he looked like a mess. Shouta followed closely behind, almost propelling him forward by proximity alone. He was glaring at Hizashi, clearly still angry.

“Er, Aizawa?” All Might’s hands were held close to his chest and he took only a half step towards the two men. “What’s-“

He didn’t get to finish. Shouta finally just body-bumped Hizashi to get him moving faster and snapped, “Hizashi’s leaving.”

“Leaving?”

A choked sob came from Hizashi and Hikage could have purred at the sound of it. Shouta nodded. “Yeah. He… He can’t be here right now. Besides, clearly he was planning to be out anyway, right, ‘Zashi?” Hizashi flinched like Shouta had hit him, though Sho’s voice hadn’t even been snappish. “He’ll be staying somewhere else until I say so. Which means there’s room for someone else in this apartment if Hikage wants to stay.”

Shouta was looking at him now, expectantly, but Hikage wasn’t convinced he’d heard him right. “…what?”

“You can stay if you want. I’d really rather not stay here on my own. Besides, you can cook, unlike my worthless husband.”

Another flinch, another whimper, and without thinking Hikage chirped. He was just distracted, caught off guard by Shouta’s offer of a home (he wasn’t going to be sleeping in an alley tonight?), and he’d reacted unconsciously to the sound of Hizashi in pain. Because they’d always done it. Even as babies in the same crib.

Even when Hizashi was put in a bed and Hikage on the floor.

Even when they both fell but only one got bandages.

Even when, come birthdays, Hikage was given nothing but chores.

Even at a funeral where only one brother grieved.

The second Hikage realised what he’d done, he grit his teeth to shut it up, but Hizashi was already turned around, clearly looking for something in his face. And it made him so damn angry, that this stupid prick who shared his face had programmed him to be comforting. He didn’t want to be his brother’s pet cat anymore, didn’t want to be given attention only when Hizashi decided he needed the company, he was fucking tired of being a pet.

He didn’t know he was about to pop, but clearly it showed on the outside because All Might’s big hands clamped around his waist and Shouta’s hair flew up around his head like a midnight halo just in time for him to scream. Glass didn’t shatter, nothing shook or fell, Hizashi’s body did not react in the way that human bodies tend to when every important organ ruptures at once. Shouta stopped him, All Might held him still. He tried again, screaming, higher pitched and desperate, until it burned and he had to stop to breathe. Hizashi was unhurt. But for some reason he looked like he’d just seen his heart ripped from his chest.

He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t, not again and not in front of him, but by God, if Shouta hadn’t been here he would have killed Hizashi and likely a hell of a lot of other people. He might’ve brought the whole damn building down. He wanted to scream. He wanted to hide against All Might and never come out. He wanted to be nine again, scared of the dark, crawling into Hizashi’s bed and giggling when his brother squished his cheeks and promised to scare away the monsters.

“Come on, ‘Zashi.” Shouta put a hand to Hizashi’s shoulder and pushed him towards the door. Hikage watched them go. Watched Shouta kiss his husband goodbye. At the very least it seemed like Sho’ would forgive him eventually. Hikage was glad. Whatever Hizashi deserved, Shouta should never be caught in the crossfires.

Then he was gone. Hizashi was gone and Hikage was still here.

All Might let him go suddenly and cleared his throat. “I- um, I- Sorry about that, um…”

“It’s okay,” he mumbled. “You can do whatever you want to me, I don’t mind.”

He hadn’t realised how bad that sounded until he got it out and All Might immediately choked.

“… Didn’t mean it that way…”

“Y-Yes, of course not, um- I- Hey, Aizawa! He’ll be staying with you then?”

Shouta looked more tired than usual. The bags under his eyes were darker, his eyes themselves less open, the redness more prominent. When he blinked, he seemed to take an effort to force his eyes back open. “Yeah, if he wants.”

“Wonderful. I should probably be going then, it’s nearly dinner and I don’t want to intrude.”

Hikage’s breathing sped up even though he tried to control it. All Might couldn’t go, he would fall apart if he did. He was already dying, poisoning himself from his own rotting pieces, All Might was all that kept it from spreading, from eating him alive so thoroughly that he wasn’t human anymore.

But he was going, saying something to Shouta and shuffling past. He turned to say goodbye to him too and Hikage reached out to grab his hand without thinking.

“Please don’t leave me alone.”

All Might was looking down at where Hikage held him like he couldn’t quite figure out how those hands had gotten on his. “What do you mean? You won’t be alone. Aizawa is here too.”

He whimpered but bit it back as soon as he could. Shouta reached over, started to pull him off All Might. “Let him go. Come on, he’s got work to do, let him go do it.” He relaxed his grip and Shouta tugged him free, ushered him back. “I’ve got him. Don’t worry. I’ll let you know if anything happens.” All Might nodded and gave Hikage one last, worried look.

He wondered what All Might saw now, when he looked at his Hizashi face.

He didn’t know what to do, when he was gone. Didn’t know if he should cry or simply collapse on the floor and never move again. Did he fight or flee or give up altogether? What was left for him now?

Why had Shouta let him stay?

He turned to look at Shouta, brought his hands up defensively against his chest. “What are you doing?”

“Mm?” Shouta was shambling towards the kitchen and didn’t seem inclined to stop for talk. “Jelly.”

“No, what- Why me and not him? Why am I here? You know I’m not Hizashi, right?” It still burned to say it, still tasted like acid, scarred his tongue like licking poison.

“Of course. I’m not an idiot, despite what recent events seem to imply.”

Hikage had to chase after to keep in hearing range, watched incredulously as Shouta rifled through the fridge. He tried again. “What do you want from me, then? I don’t have any money, I can’t pay you rent.”

“Don’t want money.”

His hackles raised and he spat without thinking, “Try to touch me and I’ll kill you.”

Shouta looked over his shoulder at him, eyes narrowed. “You’ve supposedly known me for over ten years, and that’s who you think I am?”

He held Shouta’s furious glare for another heartbeat then looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry. I just don’t see why you’d let me stay here if there’s nothing I can give you.”

“Your brother doesn’t exactly bring much to the table either, you know. Maybe I like taking in strays. Besides, at least you know how to cook.”

He shuffled where he stood, uncomfortable. Even in his uselessness, he was Hizashi.

“I do have some questions for you, though.”

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

“And you don’t have to.” Shouta finally grabbed a beer and shut the fridge. Shouta didn’t like beer. He cracked it open and drank it anyway. “You do, however, have to talk about yourself.”

“…what?”

“I want to know what you did when you were pretending to be him.”

Hikage wanted to curl up and hide. He stayed where he was anyway. “I never touched you, Sho’. Never.”

“Call me Aizawa.”

He wasn’t sure why that hurt as bad as it did. “… Aizawa. I made up all kinds of excuses, but I never did anything… Or let you do anything. I didn’t- it wasn’t- you didn’t want me. You didn’t even know I was there, so… I wouldn’t ever do that. Never.”

“You kissed me though.”

“I was supposed to be your husband. I couldn’t think of a way for Hizashi to refuse to kiss you that wouldn’t be… off.”

“Mm.” He gave the can in his hand a distasteful look, set it down. “So you really never thought about it? Not once?”

“Of course I thought about it. You’re a kind and handsome man and I am only human. After being alone for more than twenty years… Any kind of touch is tempting. But I… Panicked a bit, anytime you started to touch me too much. I don’t think I could have done it even if I’d tried.”

“Mm.” Another nonresponse. Hikage wondered if Shouta was keeping him here only to separate what memories were of his husband and what were his brother-in-law. Would he be kicked to the streets again once he figured it out? “Hey.” He looked up and briefly met Shouta’s eyes. “There’s no catch. You’re safe.”

He stayed standing where he was, looking again at the floor, while Shouta shuffled around, getting what he came for. When he passed on his way back to the living room, Hikage expected for Shouta to rub against him, like an affectionate cat, but the touch never came.

Safe. If he was safe, then why did he feel like screaming?