Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

At this point, Merlin figured that if Prince Prat was going to drag him on a hunting trip, they were going to get attacked. That’s how it usually worked, why should this time be any different?

Last time they went on a hunting trip, summer had just arrived and Arthur had been itching to escape the castle after the long winter. His impatience and crankiness had been driving everyone crazy. They didn’t bother to bring any knights, Merlin was okay with that. Less mouths he would have to make dinner for.

Less people to try to hide his magic from.

The two had left quickly, hunting and not bothering to be careful about their surroundings. So they failed to notice the bandits until they were upon them. Outnumbered twenty-five to two, and these guys more terrifying than any other bandits he'd seen. And the minute they mentioned Morgana, Merlin didn't want to take any chances. So, using some rather stupid, but quick thinking. He used magic. In front of Arthur.

After a few threats and some shouting - mainly from Arthur. They were finally able to sit down and have a conversation. Merlin spilled everything. They talked for hours. Covering all the things that had happened in Camelot since Merlin came, including the incident with Arthur’s father. Which didn't go over very well, but after a few questions and answers, they ended up heading back to Camelot.

With the air cleared between them, life became much easier. To say it wasn’t weird to talk about his magic and legalizing it in Camelot would be a lie. Merlin found that Arthur would watch him while he did his chores sometimes. He always had a strange look on his face. It wasn’t something Merlin was able to put a name to, so he just ignored it. Assuming it was post-shock about finding out Merlin’s magic. Even though it happened often. Very often.

Just a few weeks ago, there had been a magical attack on Camelot, Arthur had appeared right as Merlin and the sorcerer had just started fighting each other using magic.

Arthur had distracted him for a moment, causing Merlin to fail to put up a shield in time. Merlin was hit full force with the blast. Arthur finished off the sorcerer after Merlin had passed out.

Merlin just came back to work two weeks ago and Arthur was still treading lightly around him. Showing concern but denying it when Merlin pointed it out.

He asked Gaius what happened to him after that.

Apparently, Merlin had made it back to Camelot because Arthur had carried him - much to Merlin’s mortification. He had been asleep for two days with a major concussion, three broken bones, and unknown lasting effects. No one had been able to keep him awake from more than a few minutes at a time.

Gaius also said that Arthur had been worried sick and barely left Merlin’s side the whole time. But Merlin knew better than to believe that, despite how much he wished it were true.

Merlin wished that Arthur cared about him enough to stay. That Arthur felt the same about him that Merlin did for Arthur. He also knew that, although Arthur had accepted his magic, he’d never accept Merlin’s no-so-platonic feelings.

Merlin was pulled from his thoughts by the thwack of a crossbow being released.

Automatically, Merlin was on guard, hand slightly up and eyes searching.

They landed on Arthur, who was staring at his outreached hand pointedly. Merlin immediately put it down, looking at the knights they brought in case they had seen.

Thankfully, they were all focused on the hunt. Leon in particular who had just shot at a rabbit using a crossbow.

Oh, Leon.

The blonde prat rolled his eyes as Merlin shrugged before returning to face the front, looking into the woods.

Merlin looked down at his feet as he walked behind the knights. Relieved all the knights had been too busy to look back at Merlin. Not like they would have had a reason to, after all.

They walked for a bit longer before he heard it. A small rustle of branches. It easily could have been a squirrel or another small animal, but Merlin’s magic told him differently. And after years of living in Camelot protecting Arthur with his magic, he learned to trust it.

Before he was able to get any words out to warn someone, namely Arthur, he felt the cold of a sharp blade against his throat.

Merlin froze as he heard the man whisper into his neck. “Don’t say nothin’.”

Turns out he wouldn’t have to. Arthur and the knights made it a few more feet before Arthur tensed up and turned to look back.

Merlin watched as Arthur’s eyes widened before setting his face in determination as he reached for his sword.

The knights had caught on that something was amiss and turned as well, and unsheathing their swords at once. A few dropping whatever weapons they had been holding in their hands.

“Drop ‘em swords, or ‘e dies,” the bandit said, visibly tightening his grip on Merlin and pushing the blade harder against his neck.

Merlin jumped as he felt the sharpness pierce his skin, causing a small river of crimson to run down under his neckerchief.

The determination that had been on Arthur’s face quickly turned to rage before sliding into a facade of calmness. And much to Merlin’s surprise, he placed his sword on the ground. Hands up in a surrendering fashion.

Merlin watched in shock as the knights turned to watch their king before following his lead.

“What do you want from us?” Arthur asked, rage barely concealed in his voice.

The bandit sniggered. “What’d’ya think I want?”

Arthur stepped forward, causing the bandit to jerk back, pulling Merlin with him and sliding the knife a bit more across the side of Merlin’s neck. He let out a small sound as the pain hit his senses. Arthur’s eyes widened and he stopped moving.

“We don’t have any money with us. Let him go, he’s no use to you,” he tried to reason.

“Why don’t I believe ya?”

Arthur shrugged. “Believe what you will, but we only have small game that we caught while we’ve been out.”

There was a pause in the conversation, Merlin held his breath as the man behind him stayed silent.

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you all alone, anyway. Don’t you usually travel--”

Arthur was abruptly cut off a dozen men ran over the landscape, swords raised high.

Immediately, the knights retrieved their swords and adjusted themselves into a fighting position. Merlin took the opportunity to slam his head back into the man’s face. A second later, the grip around him was gone and the man stumbled backwards, hands up to his nose, trying to halt the blood flow. “Why you--”

Merlin kicked him hard for good measure, not bothering to wait around to figure out what he was going to say next. He ran over to a tree not too far away and settled down next to it. Merlin was still able to see the knights perfectly well. Yet he was still far enough away that if he needed to use magic, which he undoubtedly would, they wouldn’t see the glow of his eyes when they changed color.

Merlin watched as Arthur and the knights fought off bandit after bandit. Arthur was battling two at a time, dodging and thrusting whenever he got the chance. Merlin saw one try to sneak up behind him but with a quick spell was able to stop him from going any further.

He spent the rest of the fight next to the tree, causing branches to fall whenever needed. Sometimes heating up sword handles, causing the owner to yelp and drop the weapon to the ground. Allowing the knight to overpower the opposing man. Merlin lost track of where Gwaine and Leon had ended up, they weren’t in the immediate vicinity but he knew they could hold their own perfectly well without him.

Along with Gwaine and Leon, Merlin had also lost track of the bandit that threatened him earlier. He was probably among the bodies that littered the ground as more bandits kept running through the trees. There seemed to be less showing up now, and for that Merlin was thankful.

Merlin whispered spells to himself, hand slightly raised, forcing the bandits attacking Camelot’s newest knight, Sir Kay, to trip. The knight took a deep breath and turned to face another.

The fight was almost over when it happened.

Merlin just received a knowing look from Arthur after felling a tree branch next to him when a shadow fell over his hiding spot.

A large hand gripped the back of his neckerchief and pulled him up, flipping him onto his back with a thump.

Merlin coughed as he regained his breath from the cloth choking him, pain radiating from his back and skull. The feeling of something running down the back of his neck informed him that he hit his head a bit harder than he might have thought. Blinking away the dizziness, the became aware of a weight on his chest, cutting off his airflow. Merlin tried to control his panic as he failed to take in oxygen, gasping as the large bandit sitting on his chest laughed. Merlin’s ribs were straining under the pressure the man had put on him. A loud crack and a burst of excruciating pain told Merlin that one of his ribs just broke. Tears flooded his eyes as the pain overwhelmed him. Unable to regain his breathing, nevertheless let out a scream.

The bandit leaned in close, giving Merlin a blurry view of the dried blood on his nose. Confirming that this was the man that had held a knife to his throat earlier. “Ya shouldn’t’a moved.” Merlin watched as the man moved back, placing his weight back onto his broken ribs.

Reaching back towards his boots, the unnamed bandit pulled out the same knife as before and held it up in front of Merlin’s unfocused eyes.

“See this?” The man asked, without a response, he went on. “This is what I’m gunna kill you with,” the man smiled. “And I’m gunna enjoy it.”

He arranged himself so the knife was poised over Merlin’s chest. The moment he began to pull it down, a loud scream tore through the air from someone in the fight, causing the man to startle, losing his balance.

The bandit stabbed Merlin in the side. Close to the bottom of the ribs.

The bandit swore before taking the knife back out and running off into the distance.

It was at this point that Merlin felt no pain. Didn’t feel his ribs, or his head, not even his side. Did his magic heal it?

He looked down. Nope. Definitely didn’t heal it.

Must be shock, Merlin thought.

He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. The sound of fighting was now dimming as Merlin slowly stood up, wrapping his arm to hold where the wound was. Merlin stumbled over roots towards the opened where he knew Arthur would be.

There were no more bandits in the area. All the knights were still standing, except for Gwaine and Leon, who still hadn’t returned from wherever they had disappeared to.

Sir Kay was slightly wounded, a cut on his arm was causing a bit of bleeding, nothing serious, Merlin decided.

Arthur looked relatively unharmed, thankfully.

A few of the other knights just seemed winded and tired from the rigorous fight.

Arthur looked over to where Merlin had been hiding before, frowning when he saw no one over there.

“Has anyone seen Merlin?” He asked to his knights.

Merlin frowned. He was right here, practically in front of Arthur.

“Arthur,” Merlin said. No reaction. “I’m right here.”

He stepped in front of the kings path. Merlin’s breath catching in his throat when Arthur walked right through him.

Something was definitely wrong.

Merlin followed Arthur as he walked towards the spot where Merlin had been attacked. Confused when Arthur swore loudly and started running.

When Merlin caught up, the sight that met him was horrifying.

His body was still on the ground. The grass around his stomach was dark and glossy. His eyes were closed and his face was ashen. He looked dead, Merlin realized. It was only the small rise and fall of his chest that told him he was actually still alive. That and the fact that he was standing a few feet away.

Merlin watched as the king crouched down beside his body and started shaking the limp shoulders. “Merlin? Come on, Merlin, this isn’t funny. Wake up,” Arthur whispered.

He walked over and sat down across from Arthur. Merlin felt horrible that he was putting Arthur through this. Whatever this was.

“Come on, Merlin,” Arthur said louder. “Merlin, please, wake up.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows at the please.

“You idiot, what happened to you?” Arthur mumbled, almost to himself. "What happened-?" He coughed and shifted his weight. "Come on, Merlin, don't do this to me. Don't you dare do this to me. Not again."

A few of the knights started to make their way over into the area in which Merlin’s body lay and Arthur was on the ground next to it, whispering and shaking Merlin's shoulders.

“Sire, we must go back.”

Arthur looked up. Merlin was surprised to see his eyes lined red, as if he were crying. But that was ridiculous. Arthur didn’t cry, and if he did, he didn’t cry over Merlin.

“No, not without Merlin.”

Merlin’s heart broke as he heard Arthur’s voice crack on the whisper.

He watched as Gwaine and Leon stumbled into view, mud and blood caked on their face. Gwaine immediately zeroed in on Merlin’s body and tensed up. Rushing towards where Arthur was crouched down. He grabbed Merlin’s limp wrist and felt for a pulse. Sighing in relief.

“Arthur, there is still a pulse. If we get him back to Gaius in time, he might be able to save him,” Gwaine said. Everyone knew there was no chance of making it to Camelot unless they made it back to the horses and didn't stop till they reached Gaius.

But Merlin was confused. What was going on?

Arthur nodded dumbly. Slowly reaching down and picking up Merlin’s lax form. Merlin was surprised at the amount of care Arthur put into cradling his body. Merlin watched Gwaine give Arthur a knowing look, confused on what it meant, before they started their trek back to the horses. Going much faster than they had earlier, all attempts at silence destroyed.

Merlin was about to follow them when he heard a familiar voice from behind him.

“Merlin.”

He turned slowly to find Freya standing there. Looking no different than she did the day before her last.

She smiled at him warmly. “It’s good to see you again, my love.”

Chapter Text

“Freya?” Merlin asked, eyes wide in shock. “What just happened? Why are you here?”

Freya smiled sadly. “Come, we have much to talk about.”

Merlin looked at her outstretched hand before glancing back and following to where Arthur and the knights were loading up the horses.

Merlin’s chest ached as he saw Arthur’s expressionless face, staring down at Merlin’s body, completely limp in his arms. Blood dripping from the wound in his side onto the ground. Some of it found its way to Arthur’s hands and arms. Arthur’s focus never left his body as everything continued on around him. Merlin could see his lips forming into words, his voice quick and barely audible. His eyes, which were so full of emotion, completely betrayed his blank face. Not to mention the red, slightly puffy eyes.

“Arthur,” Merlin watched as Gwaine called out. The King looked up at where Gwaine was sitting on his horse. “We must leave. Now.”

Arthur nodded dumbly and passed Merlin to Leon, refusing to take his eyes away until after he had mounted his horse. Then picked Merlin back up and placed him before Arthur on the horse, giving a nod to the knights and they took off.

Merlin turned back to Freya. “Alright, we can talk. But I want to ask some questions first.”

Freya nodded. “Of course, shall we go somewhere more–,“ She looked around. “Peaceful?”

Merlin gestured for her to lead the way.

The Lake of Avalon came into view an undetermined amount of time later. It had been a few hours at the least, seeing as the sun was setting in the west. Freya sat down on the sand, slim legs stretched in front of her has she relaxed. Merlin followed her, basking in the last bit of light reflecting off the lake.

“You have questions?” Freya prompted.

“Yes,” Merlin nodded. “What happened back there? Why am I not connected to my body.”

“We needed to talk to you.”

He frowned. “We?”

“Avalon, me,” Freya replied. “It was the easiest way.”

“Okay, what did you want to say?”

Freya turned her body and looked at him straight in the eye. “Arthur and your destiny is approaching. Faster than any of us imagined and it does not look good.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked. “Arthur accepts my magic, and he’s accepting others magic too. Isn’t that good?”

“It’s progress. And it’s slow. The prophecy states-“

“That we’re to unite Albion and bring magic back into the land, yes.”

Freya tilted her head. “When Arthur gets back to Camelot, Mordred will be coming soon.”

Merlin made to stand up and start back to Camelot when Freya grabbed his wrist. “He is not in any danger, do not worry. Although, he will be soon.”

Merlin sat back down. “What do you mean?”

“Arthur’s bane approaches, Camlaan is coming faster each day. You need to fulfill the prophecy before it’s too late.”

“But if it’s prophecy, won’t it happen anyways?”

 “Mordred is coming to Camelot to become a knight. If you and Arthur are able to start legalizing magic soon, there might be a chance.”

Merlin moved back to lay down onto the soft sand.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said finally. “For what happened to you, you didn’t deserve that.”

Freya smiled at him. “Merlin, my love, don’t say that. You have done so much more for me than anyone else.”

Merlin nodded sadly.

Freya looked up at the night sky. “You should be getting back. Go quickly and finished what you set out to do.”

Merlin started to get up. “How am I to get back to my body?”

“You’ll know what to do.”

He started walking towards the trees when he heard Freya speak again. “I wish you two all the luck in the world.”

“Thank you.”

She smiled. “You should tell him, you know.”

Merlin stilled. “What?”

“You should tell him that you love him. He is your destiny, after all.”

Merlin shook his head. “He may be my destiny, but he doesn’t think of me that way.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Goodbye, Merlin." 

He turned back to look at her one last time, but she was already gone. “Goodbye, my darling.”

The walk back to Camelot took a long time. The sun was rising in the east when he stepped through the gates. He made his way up to Gaius’ chambers, awkwardly walking through the door when he failed at turning the door knob. 

Only Gaius was in the room, asleep at the desk with his arms pillowing his head. The bags under his eyes were pronounced and he seemed worried, even in his sleep. Merlin's chest ached when he realized he was the reason behind Gaius' weariness.

Merlin wandered the room, noting many different potions and ingredients were gone. His room was empty too.

Confused, he moved out of the room and through the castle. Was he actually dead now?

He ended up near the throne room, just as he was about to walk past, he heard voices through the door. Not giving it much thought, Merlin walked through the door and suppressed a shiver at how odd the action was.

Arthur was sitting at the round table, Gwen and Gwaine next to him. Paperwork was spread over much of the area in front of them. Merlin frowned at the sight of the King with his head in his hands. He looked just as exhausted as Gaius.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Princess?” Gwaine asked? “This is a pretty big jump, especially for you.”

Arthur nodded. “Yes, I’m sure. I don't think I've ever been more sure of something in my life.”

“Alright then,” Gwaine said. He passed a long sheet of paper to Arthur, rolling the top bit so he could sign at the bottom. Arthur dipped his quill in the ink before leaning over the parchment, scribbling his signature quickly.

“You’re doing something good, Arthur,” Gwen whispered, her hands were on the back of his chair as she leaned over him slightly, watching the quick flicks of his wrist.

“I hope Merlin appreciates this when he wakes up,” Arthur muttered, placing the quill back in the ink stand. “This is going to cause quite a bit of trouble.”

Gwaine paused what he was doing. “Arthur,” he started, his voice tentative in the great hall. “We can’t be sure that he’s going to wake up.”

Arthur looked up at Gwaine sharply. “He has too. He doesn’t have a choice."

“Arthur,” Gwen said. “We understand-"

“No, you don’t,” Arthur replied, shaking his head. “You really, truly don’t.”

“Mate-"

“No, you don’t get it. He can’t just – just die. Merlin, he, he’s not allowed to. When that sorcerer hurt him before, he pulled through. Merlin always pulls through. Last time I almost lost my mind with worry. I can’t lose him. I can’t.“

Arthur leaned forward and put his head in his hands. Merlin was in shock at what he said next.

“I love him.”

Gwen lifted her hands off of the back of his chair before pulling him into a hug. “I know you do. I know.”

Arthur gripped Gwen tightly. “If I lose him, Gwen-"

“We know, Arthur,” Gwen looked over her shoulder at Gwaine and gave him a look.

Gwaine looked ashamed enough and started to clean up the papers.

Merlin slowly backed out of the room until he passed through the door again, no one was talking anymore, the shuffling of parchment was the only thing heard.

Despite the quiet in the hall, Merlin's head was as loud as ever. It was too much. He had been dreaming of this day since the stupid dragon told him of his destiny. Arthur was finally going to legalize magic. On top of that, Arthur actually shared his feelings? Freya was right and Merlin couldn't believe it.

Lost in his jumbled thoughts, Merlin wandered around the castle a little longer before he saw Gaius holding his medicine bag, moving towards Arthur’s chambers.

Merlin followed him through only to stop short when he saw himself in Arthur’s bed. He moved forward slowly as Gaius shifted through his medicine bag.

It was weird to look at yourself from an outside point of view. He was pale and his skin shined with sweat. Merlin watched as Gaius pulled the covers back. The gauze covered his entire chest, starting from beneath the arms to his hip bones. Merlin grimaced as he remembered the broken ribs. His eyes travelled down himself before zeroing in on his side. The wrappings there were red with blood. He cringed as Gaius unwound the bottom, phantom pain shooting through his side.

The wound looked just as bad as he expected, there looked to be the beginnings of an infection. Gaius seemed to have come to the same conclusion and sighed. “Come on, Merlin. Please fight back, there’s only so much I can do.”

Merlin prepared himself for the pain, has the climbed onto the bed and positioned himself so there was only one Merlin in the room and relaxed. Slowly, the darkness claimed him.

When Merlin woke up, it was night time. Gaius was no longer in the room. He felt a pressure on the side of the bed and turned so he could see what it was. A sharp pain shooting through his side and chest stopped him. Instead, Merlin turned his head to the side to get a glimpse of what the weight was.

The King was deep asleep in the chair next to the bed, the glow of the moon was shining off the blond hair resting on the bed next to him. Even in sleep, Merlin could see how tense he was.

Merlin moved his hand so it rested on Arthur’s head and lightly started moving his fingers in it. The man beneath let out a small breath and relaxed slightly, only to tense up and shoot up straight. Merlin’s hand dropped onto the bed.

“Merlin,” Arthur breathed, eyes wide.

“Hello prat,” Merlin whispered, throat dry. “We have an awful lot to talk about.”

Merlin didn't stay awake long enough to see his reaction.

The next time he woke up, it was to a prodding feeling on his side. Merlin wrinkled his nose and tried to move away from it.

“Merlin?” A voice asked.

Merlin stopped moving and cracked his eyes open slightly to see Gaius leaning over him, worry written all over his face.

“Hi, Gaius.”

He quickly moved back and grabbed a glass of water sitting on the table, positioning it over Merlin’s lips.

Merlin drank quickly, relishing in the feeling of the cold liquid. He may or may not have a made a small noise of protest when Gaius moved it away.

“Don’t want you drinking too much at once. How do you feel?”

Merlin cleared his throat slightly. “Like I was stabbed."

Gaius didn’t smile, he turned back to his medicine kit and pulled out a vial full of liquid.

“Sorry," came the apology. Gaius just handed him the potion, Merlin winced and coughed at the taste, then groaned as it caused bursts of pain in his chest.

“And you should be. You had us worried sick,” Gaius scolded. “It’s good that you’re awake though, lots of stuff has happened since you’ve been out.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Magic’s been legalized?”

Gaius’ eyes widened. “How-?”

 “Magic," he said, wiggling his fingers in the air.

Gaius frowned disapprovingly.

“How long was I out?” Merlin asked.

“Well, only a day, then Arthur said you woke up the second night you were back. He said you talked to him.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Since then, you’ve been out for a little under a week.”

“A week?” Merlin exclaimed, shooting up in shock. He whimpered at the fresh wave of pain.

Gaius slowly helped lower him onto the bed in a more comfortable position. “You weren’t doing great at the beginning. We didn’t quite know what to think.”

“I’m sorry I put you through that.”

Gaius gave him the look. “You can apologize by not doing it again. Arthur was a downright pain, hardly ever leaving your side except for council meetings. Honestly, I thought he was going to lose his mind, it hasn't been very long since we last saw you like this.”

Merlin looked down at the gauze on his torso. “I’m sorry.”

Gaius worked in silence for a while before getting up. “I’m going to get the king. Stay there.”

Merlin smiled cheekily. “Not going anywhere, Gaius.”

Only a few minutes later, Arthur burst through the door. His hair was askew and his eyes wild, calming down when they settled on Merlin. “Oh thank god,” he said, practically sagging against the pole at the end of the bed. 

“Something happen?” Merlin asked, a small smile on his face. It disappeared quickly as Arthur’s face

“Don’t ever do that again,” Arthur commanded before sitting down on the bed next to him. All the fight left his body. “How are you feeling?” Merlin raised his eyebrow and looked back down at the line of gauze visible above the blanket. "Sorry, stupid question.

“It's fine," Merlin replied. "It was worse earlier, Gaius gave me a potion for the pain, what about you?”

“Busy.”

Merlin nodded. “Yeah, legalizing magic is a pretty hefty process, or so I hear.”

Arthur looked at him in shock. “How did you know?”

“Gaius,” Merlin lied. “Thank you, by the way.”

Arthur smiled. “Of course, you don’t deserve to hide anymore.”

A few seconds passed and Arthur shifted on the bed.

“Did I interrupt something?” Merlin asked.

“Hm? Oh, just a meeting with my advisers. I might have gone behind their backs with the whole magic thing,” Arthur answered. “Don’t worry about it. “

“I’ll still be here if you want to finish up.”

“You sure?”

“’Course, I’ll always be here.”

Arthur stared at Merlin for a second before getting up to leave, Merlin took a deep breath. “Arthur, I love you.”

The King paused for a second before turning back to face Merlin and charging back towards the bed. Arthur put his hands on Merlin’s face and kissed him gently. It only lasted a few seconds before Arthur pulled away. “Damn it, Merlin. I might just love you too.”

Merlin smiled back at Arthur. “Good, now shoo along and finish that meeting before I use my evil powers on you.”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Merlin made sure to give him a push on his way out the door. The little bit of magic drained his energy, but was totally worth the look on Arthur’s face before the door closed. Merlin smiled and went back to sleep.