Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hello, Azula here.”

She bares her teeth, pulls up the corners of her lips, and waves exactly how Ty Lee used to.

All five of the miscreants scream in horror.

Oh well, it was worth a try. Azula really shouldn’t have expected her luck to continue after the surprisingly smooth balloon trip to the Western Air Temple. At least they’re more responsive than that damned badgerfrog was.

They all attack at once, and Azula gets blasted back in a gust of air, soaked from a blast of water, immobilized by rock, and finally, struck in the back of the head by a boomerang.

The back of her head feels damp, and she doesn’t think the peasant’s water reached her there. The water soaking her arms burns , and it takes everything to not break down in tears from the pain. But Azula grits her teeth and retains her composure. She is no stranger to masking her feelings after all.

“I’m not here to fight you, you imbeciles!”

Okay, maybe antagonizing them isn’t the best option, because suddenly, the rock becomes tighter. Azula flinches again as the earth pushes onto her arms, further irritating the burns. Oh, how she misses her Royal armour.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” The Water peasant tries to look intimidating. It’s adorable, but Azula isn’t in the position to goad her right now.

“Okay! Okay! I’m here to join the Avatar,” she squeezes out between laboured breaths.

They laugh for a moment, and Azula almost feels like it as well. The slow realization that she isn’t kidding stops their laughter abruptly, and their expressions change to shock instead.

The waterbender snaps to the earthbender. "Toph, is she lying?”

“It’s not like I can tell!”

If she wasn’t turning purple from suffocation, Azula would have smirked at that.

“Why would we ever believe that you would want to join us ?” The tribesman brandishes his sword.

“Yeah, how do we know, that circus freak and that gloomy girl won’t come around and ambush us at any moment? How do we know Zuko isn’t go—“

Zuko. 

She feels a weird twisting in her gut. Somehow the earthbender felt something because she gets this dismayed look and the earth crumbles away, and Azula can finally breathe. 

The waterbender is shocked. “Toph, what are you doing?”  

Yes, what is she doing? Azula is as confused as everyone else, but she isn’t complaining. This might be her only chance. After she catches her breath, she bows her head, as high of an honour non-royalty can get from a princess. (Not that she is one anymore.)

“I wish to become your firebending master.”

If they’re considering her offer, they aren’t showing it. The waterbender stomps to the front, placing her body like a shield in front of the Avatar. “Are you serious?" She sneers. "You expect us to just accept you after everything that you’ve done? It's like you're not even trying to fool us anymore!”

“Oh, come on.” Azula scoffs. “I wasn’t that horrible.”

“You imprisoned the Kyoshi Warriors!” 

“An acceptable military target.”

“You took over Ba Sing Se!”

“In a bloodless coup.”

“Not to mention you killed Aang!”

“He’s standing right there.”

The tribesman groans. She is really getting to them. (Wait, that's a bad thing.)

“You probably sent Sparky Sparky Boom Man after us!”

“He’s…” Azula pauses, and quirks up an eyebrow. “Who the hell is Sparky Sparky Boom Man? ”

He scoffs. “You know, the crazy buff guy who firebends with his mind?” he says, waving his hands like it somehow emphasizes his point. 

“Preposterous. I would never send another to do my work,” Azula says, in a reassuring tone.

They do not look reassured. If anything, they look even more agitated. Azula could swear she could hear a vein pop on the waterbender’s forehead.

“Great! You know what it says about you when the best thing you’ve done is not sending a crazy assassin after us?” she yells. “You’re probably not even sorry you did any of it!”

“Well, I—”

She falters. Azula actually… isn’t sure if she’s sorry or not. Everything she’s done in her life up to this point has been in the name of her father. There wasn’t time to worry about trivial things such as morality. She did what she had to, for Father’s love. No, to avoid Father’s wrath. (Right?)

And look where that got her.

“I am—”

But why can’t she just lie ? She’s done it without a problem all her life. Lying had been second nature to her, it was like breathing. And now, Azula feels like she’s drowning. It’s like there’s a lump stuck in her throat, and nothing can come out. They capitalize on her weakness.

“See, she can’t even say it!”

“Forget it, why don’t we just ask the one I actually came for what he thinks?”

All eyes fall on the Avatar. 

“No, we can’t trust you, not after all you’ve done,” he says, with conviction that’s quite uncharacteristic of him. 

Azula hates how desperate she’s coming off as. She can’t believe it’s come to this, her begging to join the Avatar. But she has to get them on her side, for him . (She’s not strong enough alone.)

“You’re— you’re fools! All of you!” Azula raises her wounded hands, but she falters as the entire group flinch and get ready to fight. She relents, cursing herself for yet another slip.

The waterbender snarls. “Leave, and we’d better not see you again.”

“Very well, you’ve made your choice,” she says, conceding with feigned nonchalance.   

She waits until she is out of the temple to yell. 

“Can you believe her?” Sugar Queen’s doing one of her infamous rants again. She’s stomping around in circles, and her heartbeat is going crazy . “Out of all the tactics she’s used to try and kill us, that was the craziest. Lying about wanting to join us? Does she think this is some kind of sick joke?” 

“She wasn’t lying,” Toph mutters. She feels their heads all turning to her direction. Katara pauses for a moment, but then she returns to her pacing.

“Well— well how do you know? You even said that you can’t tell if she’s lying—” 

She snaps at them. “I just know okay!” They all freeze.

Yes, Toph’s aware that Azula isn’t the most morally zealous person. She knows she shot Aang, and she was there when she shot Gramps.

But she knows something felt different when she spoke. Toph is still confident that she’s a good judge of motivations, even if her truth detector isn’t foolproof. There is no way someone could lie about something like that. Even Azula isn’t that good of a liar. She could feel the bitterness and anger radiating off of her. That slip up too... Toph is definitely missing something.

Not to mention that she definitely needs medical attention. Azula’s heartbeat was super uneven, and Toph could definitely sense some swelling on her forearms. Toph doesn’t know much about medicine, but she still knows how nasty second-degree burns can get if left untreated. 

And of course, the obvious thing.

“You guys are all forgetting that Aang needs a firebending teacher, and probably the best one just shows up on a silver platter, and you won’t even consider her!”

“This is Azula , we’re talking about Toph,” Sokka says. “She basically is the Fire Nation!”

“Well evidently not, because she’s here at the Western Air Temple begging to join us while having what are probably some gnarly wounds on her arms, and not at the Royal Palace getting her nails done or whatever else Fire princesses are supposed to be doing!”

Toph storms off, but it’s a while before she gets out of earshot.

“What’s with her?”

Aang seems to shrug. “You think Azula was actually going to help us? If she was trying to capture her, I thought she’d be more, I don’t know... sinister?”

“Yeah, that was weird,” Sokka says. “To be honest, I thought she’d be more like,” Sokka raises the pitch of his voice to mimic Azula’s infamous sing-song tone, “‘Listen, Avatar. You can let me join your group or I can do something unspeakably horrible to you and your friends. Your choice!’ Not… whatever that was.” 

“Who even knows at this point?” Katara sneers. “Knowing her, that was probably somehow all a part of her plan.”

“That did not go according to plan!”

Who would’ve thought the great and beautiful Princess Azula, fresh off of conquering Ba Sing Se, and defeating the first land invasion of the Fire Nation in over a century, would be stuck camping out in the middle of nowhere after offering her service to the people she tried to kill for months. And then getting rejected. 

“Why won’t those idiots just believe I’m on their side? It’s not like I was trying to kill them!” She pauses. “Anymore.” 

“How do I get them to stop seeing me as some— some kind of monster, huh, Mother?” Azula pulls at her bangs, flinches at the pain it flares within her hands. She yelps in pain, and then again in frustration. How pathetic she must look.

Mother looks at her disapprovingly, like she usually does. (Azula thinks she deserves it this time.)

“Tell me, Mother , what could I have done differently this time?”

Mother croaks and stares at her with glassy eyes. 

Stupid badgerfrog.

Azula touches her chin, careful not to inflammate her wounds. “Maybe I should’ve acted more like Mai.” She shakes her head. “Of course not. No, what would Ty Lee have done?”

She gets on her tippy toes, and flutters her eyelashes. “You guys are so fun, and your auras are so pink!” Azula intones so sweetly she feels her teeth rotting. “I want to join you on your adventures, and beat up bad guys!”

Azula shakes her head, sobering herself, and grumbles. Mother still continues to just stare at her. Just like her namesake.

“You useless little shit! Why won’t you just tell me what I’m doing wrong?” 

Mother just croaks again, and gallops away. Azula’s eyes narrow.

“Traitor.”

She lets herself fall on the damp forest grass, exasperated, and she thinks about where exactly things went wrong. 

But Azula can’t think of anything she particularly did wrong. She trained until her fingers bled to utilise her prodigious talents. She was the youngest to ever command the cold fire, and the first in centuries to wield blue flames. She never showed weakness to her Father, or anyone else for that matter. She was sent out to bring him home, and she did, even disabling the Avatar and conquering Ba Sing Se while she was at it. Azula did everything right, and what good did that do her?

(No, she didn’t. There were many things she should’ve done differently. 

“Come with me, Azula.” )

A metal clank interrupts her thoughts. She wipes off the sweat under her eyes, and chooses to stalk the source.

Sokka is wolfing down Katara’s juk when he sees Toph march out of into the courtyard with a bag slung around her shoulder. That’s weird. He can’t think of a place she should be going at this time; it’s usually Katara who trains Aang after lunch. He calls her name.

“Where are you going?”

“Good afternoon to you too, Snoozles,” she says, as she continues to walk away.

“ Toph .”

She stops for a moment, and does that thing where she blows at her bangs. “Fine, I’m going to talk to Azula, and you can’t stop me!” 

Wait, did he hear that correctly? The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and judging from Haru’s food-covered face, they probably actually did. 

“WHAT?”

He somehow did not see that coming. Toph had been sympathizing with Azula, but Sokka didn’t think she was crazy enough to actually try and meet with her! 

“Are you dumb ?” Sokka puzzles as he hands a cloth to Haru.

Toph wrinkles her nose, and glares at him. Wait , Toph can’t see. Well, to Sokka that actually just makes it more terrifying. “I just want to know more about why she’s here, and besides, she seemed kinda beat up.” She digs into her ear to clean it. “From what I could feel, her wounds definitely need some patching up.”

“That doesn’t answer my other question!” Sokka yells. And yeah, they should definitely nurture the psycho princess back to health. Great idea.

Toph has that crazy look Katara has when she gets mad. That is not good news. She stomps her foot on the ground. “We are not doing this again, I’m going to see Azula because Twinkletoes needs a firebending teacher, and you dunderheads are all too thick to see that!”

“Toph—”

That’s when Toph shoves him to the ground, and manifests a massive barrier of rock. 

“EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

The wall shatters into a million pieces, and everyone is sent flying back. The world tilts sideways, he sees stars in his vision, and he can only hear a deathly ring. It takes him a while to refocus, but when he does, he sees the hulking figure in the distance. 

It’s Combustion Man. 

And he’s already starting to puff his chest. It’s too late. Sokka sobers himself, and thinks of something, anything he can do, but he could only think to tackle Katara to the ground and somehow shield her from the impending death. 

He hears a distant boom , then the familiar whine of the combustion beam, but then he finds himself both relieved and shocked. They’re still alive. They all probably have a few bruises, and even a few concussions between them, but they are in fact still breathing. Katara gently pushes off Sokka, and gets into a fighting stance. 

“What was that?” Toph groans. “How’re we not dead?” 

He stands, shakes his head to refocus, and looks to where Combustion Man is supposed to be. To his surprise, Combustion Man is not intent on destroying but instead attacking a lithe form. Sokka sees a dim flash of blue, and is immediately aware of who it is.

“It’s… Azula?”

Azula is weaving Combustion Man’s punches as she tries to get close. She attacks with a flurry of reddish fire blasts from her feet, but they just bounce off him. Wait, what? Combustion Man seems to realize this as well, and Sokka braces herself as he turns to their group. He inhales deep, ready to channel death, but Azula clocks him with an axe kick to his skull. It barely fazes him, but it’s enough to once again set the beam off target. Sokka can see the frustration in his usually passive expression, and he turns his ire back on Azula.

Azula continues her attempts to elude, but a single metal haymaker to the temple is all it takes for Combustion Man to bring her down. She’s down for the count, and it hits him. Azula is going to die, and somehow, he thinks that’s a bad thing. Sokka doesn’t like Azula, but he can’t call himself a warrior if he loses an ally on his watch, no matter what her motivations are. (An ally?)

He throws Boomerang. 

So this is how it ends. After all that time Azula spent trying to kill the Avatar, and actually succeeding at that, she’s about to die trying to save him and his cronies. But Azula is no coward. If this is the way she goes out, so be it. Still dazed, she stares down his charging third eye, bracing herself.

However, she sees a flash of silver, and then hears a clank. The blast misses its mark. Instead, Azula is knocked ten feet back, and crashes into the nearby rubble.

When Azula opens her eyes, quite surprised at the fact that she is not dead, she sees the assassin with his back turned to her, attacking relentlessly in the direction of the Avatar’s group. She knows she has to do something . Azula did not go through this much trouble to find the Avatar just to be foiled by some three-eyed freak, but it’s almost as if he’s immune to firebending, and there is absolutely zero possibility of her generating lightning with her arms in this state. There has to be another way. She takes a moment to analyze her situation, and she spies something shiny in the rubble beside her.

The boomerang.

She rushes to pick up the boomerang with her still-wounded arms, and oh it burns, but pain is only weakness leaving the body, and Azula is anything but weak. With shaky hands, she grits her teeth and puts all her momentum forward, hammering the blade down into the assassin’s back. 

Pulling it out in an instant, she then imbeds it in him again, this time straight through his neck. She twists it, and yanks it out to the side, preventing any last-ditch effort to take her with him.

The assassin falls over, and hits the ground with a thunk . Azula finally breathes, and drops the boomerang onto the ground. The pain finally hits her, and her arms feel like they’re on fire . Again. She must’ve reopened the wound.

She opens her mouth, perhaps to scream, but she’s too exhausted for even that. The world tilts to the side, and everything turns to black. 

(Another job well done. The Avatar’s group didn’t even stand a chance. Why Zuzu would even remotely consider joining that band of misfits, Azula doesn’t know. Speaking of Zuzu, where was he anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be leading the ambush in the event that they escape the tunnels? (Oh no, he didn’t …)

She will deal with that later.

Azula is just outside her father’s chamber to report their victory when she hears an explosion, followed by a pained scream from inside the chamber. Well , it seems the Avatar has decided to pay Father a visit after all, and has paid dearly for it. How foolish.

Although, she doesn’t recall the Avatar having such a low voice. She dismisses that thought quickly. Perhaps his voice has dropped since Ba Sing Se? (That sounded almost like—)

When she pushes open the chamber doors, she’s met with the smell of singed flesh. And then, she sees her father with his fists smoking, standing triumphantly over the body of his fallen opponent. He sports an almost manic grin, standing in a ring of flame as if he’s a mighty dragon warding his rivals away from his game. However, the prey is not who she’s expecting.

She stifles her scream.)

Azula wakes up with a start. The bed is soft, and her arms are bandaged. She’s surprised she feels clean, and the once searing pain that was constant on her arms has been reduced to a distant numbness. She hears footsteps from the doorway.

“It’s ‘bout time you woke up,” the visitor says.

It’s the earthbender. She plops herself on top of the bed, and stretches her arms.

“I guess I should thank you for saving us.” 

“My pleasure ,” Azula replies somewhat sarcastically. She’s still shaken by her familiarity.

“Katara healed your wounds while you were out. You don’t know how hard it was to get her to do that.” She laughs. “Oh, and Sokka pocketed a few of your coins while you were out, he said it was ‘reparations’ for what you put Boomerang through.” They both roll their eyes. 

Her smile fades. She points at Azula’s arms.

“Who did that to you?”

“Who do you think?”

She frowns. “Damn, and I thought my dad was crazy. What did you even do for him to do that, and not just… I don’t know, ground you?”

"I— I showed weakness."

Her eyes crinkle, and somehow Azula knows she understands. Silence fills the room for a moment. 

“You know, we never really introduced ourselves,” she quips, breaking the silence. “I’m Toph.”

“Azula,” she replies. (Not Princess Azula.)

“Nice to meet you, Azula.” She feels a sharp pain on her shoulder, and tenses up.

“Woah, relax! That’s just a thing I do to my friends,” Toph says. She narrows her eyes. “Wait, don’t tell me you’ve never had friends?”

“I did !” Azula huffs. Toph casts a mocking smile. 

“But we are not friends, this is merely a tactical alliance."

Toph cocks an eyebrow. “Aren’t you trying to convince us you’re our side?”

Toph grins when Azula, in a rare moment, can’t find the words to respond to that. (She really is losing her touch.)

“C’mon, let’s go meet everyone, Spicy.” 

Spicy?

"—I can’t say I regret doing the things I did. There were… consequences if I ever failed, consequences that should be obvious to you by now.”  

The Avatar’s group look at her grimly, still unimpressed. Except Toph, who’s smirking. She feels the cool breeze of the Air Temple tousle her hair, as if it’s blowing away her entire past. There’s still a twist in her stomach as she thinks about everything she’s left behind. (Leave what? It was all a lie in the end.)

“But, for the record, I am…” Azula looks down to her bandaged arms. “....sorry that I hurt you.”

“As for what I could offer you, I’m probably the best firebender you’ve ever seen, and it’s not like there’s any others willing to teach you.” Azula sees Toph subtly nod at her, as if she’s signalling something. Oh.

“And yes, I am intending to end the war.” They all seem to exhale a bit after she adds that last part. (And she is.) 

The Watertribe boy clears his throat, and taps his chin. “But what I still don’t really get is why you all of a sudden want to join us?” Sokka points out.

Toph punches him in the arm. “Hasn’t she done enough, Snoozles?” 

“I know, but I’m just—”

Azula knows if she wants them on her side, she needs them to trust her for once. That means being transparent, to them, and to herself. She takes a deep breath, and says the words.

“Because Zuko is dead.” 

She hears a collective gasp. Azula is in disbelief too. The words still don’t seem real. (But Azula doesn’t always lie.)

“Because Ozai killed my brother, and it’s my duty to avenge him.”  

“I— I’m so sorry Azula, we didn’t know,” Aang says. He's stuttering. She can actually sense their grief. Even Katara starts to tear up a bit. (Why? It’s not like they had ever done anything for them)

“I don’t expect us to be the best of friends or anything. We have a common enemy, and so we should be allies. That’s all I need it to be.” (Nothing else.)

They stand in solemn silence for a while, and the air feels crushingly heavy. Aang finally speaks up. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great firebender teacher. I always knew that I needed a master that knew how to keep their emotions in check, and you’re pretty good at that.”

“Great to hear—” She takes a step towards the group, but Aang raises a hand to stop her.

“Woah, not so fast,” he interjects. “I need to ask what everyone else thinks. Toph?”

“You already know my answer.”

“Sokka?”

He shrugs. “I mean she hates the Fire Lord, I hate the Fire Lord. As long as she doesn’t want to kill us anymore, I don’t really have a problem with it.”

“Katara?”

She pauses for a moment, glowering at Azula. She then turns to Aang with a more somber look. “I’ll go with whatever you think, Aang,” she finally says.

“I guess that settles it,” Aang declares. Azula somehow feels lighter now.

As if they’ve been acquainted all their lives, and not sworn enemies moments earlier, Azula sees Aang grin at her obnoxiously. She actually starts to feel a small tug at her lips. That is, until she sees him open his mouth.

“When do we start, Sifu Hotwoman?”

What did he just call her?

Azula’s eyes drift from his infuriatingly innocent face to Toph picking her nose and flicking it at Katara. Then, they drift to Sokka caressing his newly cleaned boomerang, cooing and whispering reassurances to it, eyeing her scandalously. 

What has Azula gotten herself into? 

Chapter Text

Aang is sharper than he looks. 

Azula reluctantly thinks he may be as much a prodigy as she is. She’s never struggled against anyone until she faced his group after all. She recalls what little she learned about airbenders at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, how the blue arrows signify a master at the airbending art, just like she with firebending. 

They also taught how the mark was given for those who were capable and apathetic to great savagery in combat. How they were given to those who proved to be more monster than man. How they roamed the three other nations, forcing villagers into their way of thinking. How they spent their time mediating their humanity out of their spirit. And how Sozin did the world a favour when they forced his hand. Looking at the young boy’s innocent eyes, she starts to question how much of those things are true. 

The two of them are in the temple courtyard, ready to start their first lesson. Everyone else has supposedly gone on their own errands—Katara off to the forest gathering ingredients for dinner, Sokka and the rest of the non-benders participating in some kind of weird cult, and Toph and Haru off exploring the temple. Though, Azula’ll be damned if there isn’t anyone supervising from a distance. (What is a blind girl looking to explore anyway?) She finds that she doesn’t care enough to mind. (She’s been Princess in the Royal Palace, where the walls have ears and the doors have eyes.)

Aang stands tall against the Air Temple gusts, feet spread shoulder width apart, listening intently. He awaits Azula’s command. She decides to start with the basics. 

“Fire is the element of power,” says Azula. She circles around him, hands joined behind her back. “Firebenders draw their power from their desire and will, and they use their energy and drive to achieve what they want.”

He nods in understanding, until Azula continues. “Now, show me what you can do.” 

Aang tenses up. “Right now?”

“Yes, right now.”

“Uhhh, okay?” His voice is uneasy, and he fiddles with his hands like he doesn’t know where to place them.

What is he waiting for? Azula glares at him, and rolls her wrist to hurry him up. He grins sheepishly, and takes a deep breath. In an extravagant motion, he winds back and thrusts his palm forward. 

The only thing that comes out is smoke. Azula swears she heard someone break wind. (What was she expecting?) But she notes that his eyes are squeezed shut, and there was the slightest hesitation at the end of his motion. Aang lowers his arms, and pouts.

“Are you,” she narrows her eyes, “scared of fire?”

“Well, last time I tried to firebend, I lost control and burned Katara.” He shrinks like the palace turtleducks did when Azula came to feed them. “I never wanted to use firebending again.”

“It was you.”

Aang looks up, baffled. Azula inspects her nails, as if her statement is the most obvious thing in the world. 

“It was you who burned her, not the fire itself. You think fire is a tool of destruction.” She sucks her teeth. “Fire is a tool, you are the cause of the destruction.” Azula finishes with her nails, and meets Aang’s eyes with a stone-cold glare. “The fact is, you burned her because you were too weak to contain your own element. With fire, you can’t simply avoid like an airbender, redirect like a waterbender, or even withstand like an earthbender.” 

She takes a step towards Aang. “You must be constantly on the offensive.” She inches closer into his face. “You must settle for nothing less than completely annihilating your opponent.” She’s forcing Aang to lean backwards at this point, her voice crescendoing. “Defence is negligible. It’s burn, or be burned!” By the last line, Aang gets pushed to the point where he falls on his behind with a hard thunk.

Aang laughs nervously, and gets up. He rubs the back of his neck.

“And because you cannot fully tame your element, you do not bend with the conviction needed. Fire is the element of power because power is the prerequisite to wielding it, not the other way around. Understand?”

“Yeah, of course…”

Azula squints. Something about his tone tells her he doesn’t actually understand. He’s silent for a moment, perhaps hesitating between attempting to create fire again or awaiting further instruction. 

Aang perks up, seeming to have come up with an idea. “You know what, why don’t you give me a demonstration?” he asks.

Azula smirks in response.  She’ll humour him, still not being one to pass up any opportunity to assert her dominance.  “Very well, Avatar. Prepare to be astonished.”

She gestures for him to step back, and breathes in. Like she’s done a million times before, she strikes with precision at the air in front of her, but their eyes widen and their jaws drop.

Because nothing happens.

Katara is not happy. Rubbing salt into the wound that was their defeat in the invasion, is the fact that she couldn’t name one good thing that happened to her today. At breakfast, Sokka sneezed all over her seal jerky. When she was walking towards the temple, she sprained her ankle over a log. While scavenging the woods for berries, she got bitten by a scorpion bee. 

And of course, she’s forced to share the premises with the demon sitting in the corner.

So dinner—which is usually a time of serenity—is a tense affair. Everyone collects their meal in virtual silence.

“Guys, we have a problem,” Aang blurts out, cutting the tension. “Azula’s lost her juice.”

Everyone looks at Aang, confusion on their faces. There’s an awkward silence for a while. “I thought she’d be more of a rice wine person,” Sokka finally says.

Azula glares at Sokka, and then speaks. “What he means is that I, for whatever reason, have lost my firebending,” she says, almost nonchalantly. But Katara can see the bitterness and panic in her eyes. (She’s no stranger to it herself.)

A laugh escapes Katara’s lips.  One good thing’s happened to her today, at least.

Azula narrows her eyes. “Is something funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” Katara says, “It’s just ironic. You know how nice it would have been if you lost your firebending a long time ago?” She stomps towards Azula, and her expression turns dark. Azula meets her with a sharp gaze of her own. “Like when you shot Aang?”

Aang steps in the middle of the two girls in an attempt to defuse the situation. “Hey, relax—“

“How are you so calm about this? She— she killed you!”

“It’s okay, Katara, I’m here now, and Azula’s on our side too.”

“No thanks to her!”

“ Katara. ” Aang looks at her with those comforting grey eyes, and Katara is finally calmed.

She sighs. “I’m just worried about you Aang, I already almost lost you once.”

“But I’m okay! And it’s because of you.” Aang wraps his arms around her. “Thanks, Katara. Let’s put this all behind us.”

She feels a firmer hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve got to agree with Aang,” says Sokka. “I don’t like this much either, but we can’t let our personal feelings get in the way winning the war.”

“I’m sorry. You guys are right. Let’s just focus on our fight.”

Toph enters the fray, wrapping her arms over the shoulders of the other three. “With all of us together, the Fire Lord doesn’t stand a chance!” 

Their moment is cut short by an exasperated yawn.

“Are you done?” 

They all turn to Azula. She’s inspecting her nails, with that familiar pompous look on her face.

“Are you— are you done?” 

The sheer audacity of this bitch. Katara is done, alright. She’s going to wipe that smug look off her face if it’s the last thing she does. Opening her water pouch, she sees red as she reaches for the water. 

Her anger slowly dissipates when Katara finds herself being held back by two pairs of arms.

“Okay, dinner’s over!” Sokka shouts.

Katara lets the water fall harmlessly onto the ground while Aang, Sokka, and Toph usher everyone out of the vicinity. 

A few moments and a few deep breaths later, Katara finds Azula in her assigned room. She’s meditating with her back turned to Katara. Katara leans on the doorway with her arms crossed, waiting to be acknowledged. Azula cranes her head to look back at her guest. 

Katara speaks. “You know, just because you think we’ve accepted you into our group, doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

Azula stands up and turns her body to fully face a scowling Katara. She responds with that same aggravating smirk.

“Aang might trust you now, but I am not as pure as he is.” Katara stomps towards her. “You have no idea how I felt those weeks after what you did in Ba Sing Se.”

“If this is about me betraying you—”

“I was waiting at Aang’s bedside everyday for three weeks , not knowing if he would ever wake up,” Katara says, cutting her off. “I couldn’t even eat or sleep because my best friend was there fighting for his life! And I blamed myself for not protecting him, for letting him suffer. Because of what you did.

“Now, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but know this, if you even look the wrong way at Aang, I will end you and your little revenge game. Permanently. ” Before Azula can retort, Katara turns and exits the room.

“ I do know how it feels ,” Azula mutters at her back. Katara chooses not to hear her.

Azula’s been lying on the mat for an eternity, studying the insides of her eyelids. Sleep evades her for some reason, even though her body feels heavy, and her eyes feel strained. 

She knocks at her head. “Sleep, dammit!” After a few more failed attempts in taming her body, Azula concedes, growling and getting off the bed. She heads out for the courtyard. Perhaps she can tire herself into slumber. 

The courtyard is quiet and peaceful, unlike the one back at the palace, with it’s eternally persistent shuffling of servants, and blinding lights. Here, it’s completely quiet with only a faint lantern lighting up the premises. The crisp air she breathes in almost makes Azula want to enjoy the tranquility, but she didn’t come out here for nothing.

Like it’s natural to her, she drops into a firebending pose, starts her first motion, and reaches for her inner fire. Except, she can’t. Where there was once a blazing inferno inside her spirit, now, she feels complete emptiness. She strikes at the air anyway.

Nothing.

She can’t hear anything except for the inconsequential rumbling in the forest. Not even her own heartbeat. She feels cold, like that time Iroh kicked her into the ocean.  

She tries again. 

Nothing.

Nothing.

She’s interrupted by another bellow, and a light gust of air. She turns around, reaching at her waistline for his dagger.

It’s just the Avatar’s shaggy beast. 

She sighs. “What do you want?”

He growls again. Did they not care to train their pets?

She keeps trying, trying and failing by grabbing energy from some other part of her body, moving at a different pace, changing her state of mind. If she’s ever going to fight again, she needs her fire. It’s the only thing she ever had.

But really, what use is there to fight? What has fighting ever gotten her? Mai and Ty Lee have abandoned her again. She’s forced to band together with this band of naive children.

(How dare they pretend to sulk as if they’d actually ever truly lost something. And they wear those smiles on their faces moments afterwards, as if they weren’t at war.) 

Growing increasingly frustrated, she yells, and punches at the air again. At this point, it’s more like a flail. Nothi—

Azula is lifted off the ground by a much stronger gust of wind. As she tumbles onto the ground, something slips out and falls in the direction of the bison with a metallic clank.

“ You little— ”

Disheveled and vindicated, she grabs at the dagger. Her hand is empty. 

To her dismay, the knife had managed to slip out of her pocket, ending up on the floor, being poked by a furry paw. The bison had beat her to it. He sniffs at the blade, as if something about it is familiar to him, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what.

Azula can’t quite find the energy to pick a fight. She sighs. “He’s gone you know.”

The bison seems to deflate, as if he could understand her. He drops onto his stomach.

Azula slowly approaches him, and picks up the knife from the ground. She sits down and wipes the wet blade on her pants. The blade gleams in the moonlight, and the insignia becomes apparent. 

Never give up without a fight.

The characters seem to burn when she runs her fingers over them. Zuko never knew how to quit. He didn’t quit until the end. That fool, she had thought of him. She understands him now.

(Sometimes there is nothing to do but fight.)

She tucks the dagger back into her belt, and stands back up. Feeling as if she should try her hand at sleeping again, she starts to walk away, but is stopped by the bison’s call.

The bison gives her a pleading look, and taps with his paw... as if he was inviting her to cuddle?

Azula frowns. “I am not sleeping on you.”

Her legs are sore, she’s heavy under her eyes. She spies a brush on the saddle. 

The bison does not look fluffy. Or cozy. Or warm. (And that is not why Azula snatches the brush.)

She sighs. “Not if you’re filthy,” Azula says. She starts brushing away at his fur.  

Oh, how pathetic she must look right now. Scrubbing away on a bison, damp in his saliva and fur. Her hair ragged and tied up into a peasant’s ponytail, sleeves ripped open and burnt at the ends, divulging into some messily done bandages. 

She wonders what the backs of her arms will look like under them. Will they fade into a triviality, an almost pretty series of decorative pink vines? Or will they appear as a grotesque caricature of a lightning bolt, with blisters, and crevasses—an ugly, permanent reminder of her failure?

Azula finds that she’s too tired to care. After a while, she finishes brushing, and just lies on her side against the bison. She’s reluctant to admit that it’s quite comfortable, and even with the midnight breeze, it’s warmer than the room in the Palace.

“What was it that the Avatar called you? Was it Appa?”

He groans in acknowledgement.

“Well, Appa, this stays between us, alright?”

Azula doesn’t like most animals. They’re not like humans — they act off instinct rather than logic, something Azula has a hard time reading. They’re irrational, and Azula hates irrationality. And yet they always see through her somehow. Shun her before even giving her a chance. (Just like Mother.)

But Appa? Appa’s alright, she supposes.

Some time later, Azula drifts off to sleep, and to a better time. 

(The wood of Li and Lo’s hallway creaks under Azula’s feet. After finishing up her midnight kata’s, she heads to her room for the night. She can’t afford to get rusty, not with the Day of Black Sun coming up. She’s had enough “rest” for a lifetime on Sandy Land . 

Her gait is interrupted by a red hairpiece on the ground. She sighs, of course she’s left to pick up Zuko’s mess again. Zuko’s room is just down the hall — Azula supposes that she’ll just give him a quick lecture about his royal duty and filial piety.

She opens the door. “Zuzu. How many times do I have to tell you, it’s unbefitting — ”

As she enters the room, she scrunches her nose to the strong scent of alcohol. She finds Zuko lounging on his luxurious red sheets, cup in hand. Her eyes drift to the pot on the ground.

“What do you want?”

She ignores his question, instead pointing to the pot of rice wine. “Where’d you get that?”

“Where else?”

Azula finds scorch marks on the pot. Oh.

“As I was saying, you dropped this in the hallway.” She holds out the real hairpiece. “You should really be more respectful to a royal artifact. Do you know how many people would die to wear a flame of Agni?” 

The fool rolls his eyes. She was just trying to help. “Just put it in the corner over there,” Zuko says.

After Azula places the hairpiece on the table, she steps towards the door. “Don’t be late to Father’s meeting tomorrow.” 

She’s stopped by Zuko’s raspy voice. “Tonight was alright, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Azula whispers. She hates to admit it, but she felt the most relaxed she had in a long time.

Zuko pats down at the spot beside him. “Stay here for a while, sis.”

For some reason, possibly the Ember Island air, Azula actually heeds his call. She plops down onto the mattress beside him, and sits up straight. A Princess needs to maintain her posture at all times.

Zuko offers her a drink.

She waves him off. “I don’t drink. It clouds the mind.” Though Azula supposes Zuko’s mind is already quite clouded on the regular.

He shrugs, as he puts the cup away, but Azula stops his hand.

She’s done plenty of youthful shenanigans today, what’s one more act? “One drink.”

He fills the cup and hands it to Azula. She snatches it from his hand, and stares into the clear liquid.

He puts his hand, and some of his weight on her shoulder and points. “You know, they say something like… if you’ve had a good day, the wine will taste sweet. If you’ve had a bad day, it’ll taste bitter.”

She scoffs, and shrugs him off. “Did Uncle tell you that?”

He chuckles. “No, uncle’s a tea guy.”

Azula downs the cup. It’s a bit sweet, but she can’t savour it because it burns as it flows down her throat. She swallows it quickly. She sucks her teeth to avoid the bitter aftertaste.

“Well?”

Azula doesn’t know how to process what she just tasted. It’s a stupid superstition anyway.

“Is it supposed to burn?” 

He looks dazed. “I didn’t hear about that case.”

“How does it taste for you?”

He doesn’t answer. Azula has an idea about how it was.

She can’t remember the last time they’ve sat around each other like this. It’s reminiscent of old times. (Except she can’t help but notice how he still seems to be on guard, how his eyes had sharpened when she stepped into the room, and how he stiffens every time she moves.)

“Have you ever been to the Air Temples?”

Azula arches a brow. “No.” Has he really had that much?

“You should’ve seen them.”

“They were all so beautiful from the outside. Beautiful marble, beautiful architecture, beautiful scenery—”

Azula narrows her eyes.

“—They were empty. You’d think no one ever lived there until you went inside. Then, you saw bones, little and big, piled on top of more bones. Blood and ash splattered across the walls. The Fire Nation did that, Azula.”  

Azula inspects her nails. “They should’ve surrendered when they had the chance. They could’ve been living harmoniously under us, along with the rest of the nations.”

“You know they couldn’t have. They were people just like us. How is it fair that we get to live, and they have to die?”

“That’s just the way things are. We don’t get to say what’s fair or not fair, just as we don’t decide whether fire burns or not, or where the sun rises and sets.”

Zuko starts getting louder and more angsty, much like his earlier display at the campfire. “But why don’t we get to decide that? And if we can’t then who does—”

Azula doesn’t want to deal with this again. “Enough, Zuzu.” 

Zuko and his naive thoughts, it’s a wonder how he survived in the savage Earth Kingdom. He should be more grateful he’s at least near the top of the natural hierarchy of life. They sit in silence for a while, until Zuko speaks up again.

“I think—” Zuko sighs. He looks up at Azula. “I think we should take a break from it all.”

Azula scoffs. She looks at him slouching on the mattress, face flushed from the alcohol. “You mean we haven’t had enough of a rest?” 

He downs a cup, and pours himself another one. “No. I mean— I’m tired . Sometimes, I just want to walk away from all of this. Just, away from the palace and all the shit that comes with it. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it too.”

Azula hasn’t. (Has.)

“You mean you’d want to live all by your lonesome running a tea shop in some backwater village? You’d choose that over your royal duties?”  

He swishes the wine in his cup. “No, I’d want you around too.”

“Hmm?”

He turns to her. “I’d want you to come with me, Azula.”

In the back of her head, Azula feels he’s insinuating something much deeper than the ramblings of a drunk teenager. She banishes those treasonous thoughts in an instant. Not even Zuko is that stupid. (Azula has never known Zuko to be rational.)

“You’re being ridiculous. That’s enough.” Azula lunges for the cup. She scowls when inebriated as he is, Zuko still somehow manages to swat her hand away. Not a drop spilled. 

“Maybe I am.” He laughs. “It’s not like I can really leave.” 

“Don’t get too wasted. Father wants to see us as soon as we get back tomorrow.”

“Father wants to see you as soon as we get back tomorrow.” Zuko draws back his head to finish his drink. “You forgot that you’re the favourite.”

Azula huffs. “Goodnight Zuzu.”

“Goodnight.”

As Azula closes the door behind her, a question lingers in her mind. 

Why don’t they get to decide what’s fair?)

“Looks like someone made a new friend.”

Aang finds Azula in the last place he’d expect—sprawled out on their resident sky bison. (Is that a brush in her hand?) Strange, it’s almost noon. Aang had thought firebenders always rose with the sun—Kuzon used to always be the one to rustle him awake for their shenanigans. 

She’s roused by Aang’s call, and groggily wipes at her eyes, groaning. After a few moments, she seems to realize her predicament, and immediately sits up, back as straight as a knife. Aang’s reminded of the fact that she’s a Princess, the way she can just look so Princessy in an instant—as if it were a mask she could slip on. 

“ Not a word, ” Azula sneers. 

Aang smiles and offers her a hand. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

She ignores his help—opting to get up on her own—and fixes her robes, dusting them off and clearing out the wrinkles. Appa growls and gives her a hearty lick. Azula is unamused. 

“I talked to Toph last night about your bending.”

Azula cocks an eyebrow. 

“We think that you’ve lost your connection with your element. You said that firebenders draw their power from their drive right?”

“I did.”

“Well, maybe you lost your drive when you… I don’t know, switched sides?” 

Aang hesitates as Azula gets this weird look on her eyes—he can tell that she doesn’t really want to talk about the reason why she switched sides.

And that’s another thing. Zuko being gone just doesn’t seem real to Aang. Just like how he could wake up and end up calling for Gyatso’s name some nights. Sure, Zuko tried to capture him a few times, but Aang even said he thought they could’ve maybe been friends if things went differently. It’s a reminder that this stuff is so real and people are dying. He hurts because he was— they are —children. They shouldn’t be in this situation right now, fighting the battles of dead men. Aang’s already over blaming himself for the war, but he can’t help but still feel regret about how things turned out. (Maybe he could’ve tried to reach out to him more, maybe he could’ve been stronger and faced the Fire Lord earlier.)

But Aang knows there’s no one else to blame but the Fire Lord—he’s a monster. Something twists in his gut when he realizes that this is the guy he has to take on to save the world. If he could do that to his own children, what could he do to Aang?

Aang keeps beaming. (He has to—he’s the only one who remembers a world where cheerfulness is the default. Where one seldom had to constantly worry about whether or not their loved ones would live to the next day.)

He continues when Azula doesn’t reply. “So, this is how Toph put it.”

Aang proceeds to tell the story about how Toph learned bending from the Badgermoles as a child. The Badgermoles were blind too, and they had taught her earthbending that wasn’t just for fighting, but to interact with the world around them. 

“Now, what does that have to do with our situation?”

“Simple! Just like how Toph learned earthbending from its original source, the Badgermoles, you have to go back to whatever the original source for firebending is.”

“I’m sure you’re aware that the original firebenders were the dragons, yes?”

Aang nods with enthusiasm.  “Yeah! That’s exactly what—”

“When was the last time you saw a dragon?”

“I— There were plenty of dragons back in my day!”

She scoffs. Her eyes turn dark. “Not anymore, Avatar, they’re extinct.”

It takes a moment for that to register. “Wow.” Aang pouts. (Yet another thing lost from his world.) 

Aang contemplates his options. He really can’t think of anything else.

“I mean the original firebender civilization were the Sun Warriors right? 

“They’ve been gone too. For millenia.”

“Yeah I know, but what if just by being there, some of that Sun Warrior magic— I don’t know... rubs off on you?”

Azula thinks for a moment. She seems to make up her mind with a sigh. “It’s worth a try.”

Wait, really?

“Okay, Sun Warrior temple it is!” Aang bows, gesturing his arms towards Appa’s saddle. “After you, Sifu Hotwoman .” 

For some weird reason, Aang can hear Azula grinding her teeth at that. She still mounts Appa, but midway she turns to quirk an eyebrow, realizing something. “We’re leaving now? What will you tell your band of misfits?”

Aang hops on Appa in an airbending assisted leap. “Don’t worry, I already planned to leave. I even packed snacks for both of us!” He holds up two pouches of nuts, and offers one to Azula.

Azula ignores him, wrinkling her nose. Aang shrugs. (More for him!) “That doesn’t answer my question,” she says. 

He smirks as he crunches on a nut. “Oh, Toph’ll take care of that.” 

Azula crosses her arms. “I’ll pretend I know what that means.”

Aang just smiles back at her. He tugs at the reins. “Appa, yip yip.” 

This is so exciting, Aang thinks. Field trip!