Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Atlantis was boring.

Okay, that wasn’t true. Atlantis was wonderful and magical and filled with mystery around every corner…

...but at the moment? It was boring.  

Like, seriously. Nobody was even here. Triton was off doing ‘princely things’ or whatever while Rhode was doing some conservation project that he couldn't yet be trusted with. Kym just left because she wanted to destroy something, and since Percy technically couldn’t leave the castle, he couldn’t go with her. Amphitrite was… well, Percy wasn’t yet at the point where he was going to his goddess stepmother for entertainment quite yet. He wasn’t sure what his father was doing, and Percy didn’t want to try and find him. The last time Percy had accidentally stumbled upon his dad, he ended up being in some royal meeting, and there was some scandal and Percy’s sudden appearance. 

Yeah. Not risking that again.

And, look, he had grown pretty fond of his godly seaside of the family. They were all great… for gods. However, things worked, uh, differently here. Gods didn’t operate the same as humans, and Percy couldn’t quite forget who he was. In New York, he could be Estelle’s brother who made funny faces, watched RomComs with his stepfather, and helped his mom bake cookies. Here? Well, he was supposed to be a poised hero who had been hardened through war and had the power of mass destruction.

So… yeah. He was a little bored.

He could always make friends with the Atlanteans. The problem was that everyone knew who he was and treated him like a royal. Percy had tried to explain that he was technically a bastard. Thus none of that applied to him, but that just seemed to scandalize people. It wasn’t like he could disguise himself either. What was he going to do? Magic himself a tail? Give himself glowing eyes? 

Kicking the ground in the garden, he gave a dramatic sigh before collapsing to the ground.

“...you seem upset, Lord Perseus.” 

Percy jumped. A boy was leaning on a pillar towards the outskirts of the garden, shielded by some seaweed that drifted back and forth like a curtain. He looked kind of like Triton with the longer hair and green tail. Only this guy had one tail as opposed to Triton’s two, and his hair was a flaming red. Percy sat up.

“I will pay you a thousand drachmas to call me Percy,” he greeted - a little desperately. The boy snorted and swam over.

“Yeah, that might be enough to pay for my funeral once your father beheads me for disrespecting his son,” he said. Percy narrowed his eyes.

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“Hm.”

“He wouldn’t,” Percy insisted. “What’s your name?” he asked. Please. Gods, please. Let him just make one friend here. The boy’s lips twitched as he bowed his head. Percy wanted to throttle him for the movement but resisted.

“Ridley, my lord,” he said. Apparently, Percy couldn’t escape the lord title. “I am visiting from the Arctic,” he said. Percy perked up. 

“There are merpeople outside of Atlantis?!” he asked. Nobody told him this. Ridley nodded. “Where do you live? Do humans see you? Is there a castle like this or-?” he asked, leaning forward. Ridley hesitated. “If you insist on acting like I’m important, then I’m going to take advantage and order you to talk to me,” he warned.

“I suppose I can’t argue with that logic,” Ridley snorted and sat down. “Alright, what do you want to know?”

Given Percy’s current state… everything. Absolutely everything. It was an hour of Ridley being unnaturally patient with him as Percy went about asking endless questions up until they were rudely interrupted by Triton.

“Oh, gods,” he said as he saw Percy on the ground. “I… am so sorry,” he choked out. “Lord Ridley, I deeply apologize for Perseus-” he said as he practically zoomed over. Percy frowned. Lord… Ridley? He looked over at his newly assigned friend. 

“No, no,” Ridley said, standing up. “I enjoyed our conversation,” he said, grinning down at Percy. “Your brother is quite the conversationalist,” he added lightly. Percy wrinkled his nose.

“You’re a lord?” he asked, and the realization clicked. “You’re an ambassador!” he spluttered. Triton sighed and looked up at the sky. 

“Indeed I am,” Ridley agreed and turned to Triton. “And since when do you call me lord?” he tacked on to him curiously. Triton rolled his eyes and gave a pointed look at Percy. “Oh, I see,” he said and then turned back to Percy. “He doesn’t want you to know we’re friends,” he explained. Percy’s eyes widened. No way.

“You’re friends… with Triton?” he asked. Ridley nodded stoically as Triton himself looked as if he wanted to figure out how to drown. A feral grin touched Percy’s lips. Triton never let him near his friends… or even know their names. For a while, Percy was convinced he just didn’t have any. That certainly made more sense than him being friends with someone as nice as Ridley. “Why?” he asked, and Triton’s eyes narrowed.

“King Poseidon paid me to,” Ridley told him. Ah. Percy figured he was joking but gave an understanding nod anyway. Triton pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m guessing I’m needed at the banquet?” he asked him, and Triton gave a slight nod. “Very well, Lord Perseus,” he nodded. Oh. There was a banquet? That at least explained why nobody was back from their duties yet… Did this mean he had to be bored another three hours? Not that he would have enjoyed the banquet. Rhode had forced him to attend exactly one formal event, and he accidentally blew something up. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Ridley looked him over. There was a hint of pity that normally Percy would hate, but he was so goddamn bored that he almost accepted it. 

“Would you like to join us?” he asked, and Percy frowned. “Our other friends will be there,” he added lowly. Percy straightened up. Oh? He glanced at where Triton was shaking his head. Then back to Ridley. Then to Triton again.

Well… he would be careful not to blow anything up this time. How bad could it be?

“Sure,” he said and dusted himself off. “Are they really his friends, or do they just say they are because he’s the prince?” he asked, ducking when Triton reached over to either throttle him or lock him in a closet. Ridley’s lips twitched. 

“You’ll have to ask them yourself-”

“Ridley!” Triton managed through gritted teeth. “I - Perseus, you’re not going,” he said firmly. Ha. He thought he could stop him. How sweet. He turned, fixing Triton with an innocent look.

“Why not? I’m just going to learn more about my father’s domain. Isn’t that one of the reasons I was brought here?” he asked. Triton scowled back. 

“You were brought here because you’re an overpowered brat who needs to be watched to keep from ending the world,” he said. Percy’s face hardened. Oh, was that how it was? Hm. Okay, then. He turned back to Ridley. 

“Where is the banquet?” 

“I - seriously, Percy,” Triton groaned as Percy practically skipped after Ridley. “My friends are boring. You wouldn’t like them-”

“I disagree. I think he’d get along great with Cari, don’t you?” Ridley asked conversationally. It was hard to really read Atlantean’s eyes, given they were essentially like glowsticks, but Percy was pretty sure Triton’s widened drastically. “Triton and Cari used to-”

“Dad hasn’t officially invited you,” Triton cut in. “You can’t just go - especially dressed like that,” he said, and Percy looked down. Oh. Then he glanced up at Triton, who looked somewhat relieved he had found a way to stall him.

Luckily, Ridley (who was rapidly becoming Percy’s favorite person in Atlantis) had a solution.

“Why doesn’t he just wear something of yours?” 

Triton blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah! You have lots of clothes!” Percy nodded. Most of them, Percy had made fun of at some point, but he was willing to look stupid for the sake of meeting this Cari person and other delightful friends of his brother.

“They wouldn’t fit. I have a tail. You have legs.” 

“You’re literally wearing a robe,” Percy pointed out. Triton looked like he wanted to scream. “I mean, maybe I can get Rhode and-”

“For the love of - fine,” Triton hissed and threw Ridley a dark look. “I will not be supporting whatever foolish proposals you have this year,” he added darkly to him. Percy looked at Ridley - a little worried he might have accidentally trampled over serious politics - but Ridley only winked. 

In the end, Percy was vaguely uncomfortable in the chiton mainly because he wasn’t used to anything other than jeans or shorts, but whatever. It was silky and green and had seashells on it, which was kind of cool. Triton snorted when he saw him, which was not appreciated.

“Kym and Rhode would lose their minds,” he said, and Percy narrowed his eyes. “I hope Rhode does stop by. She would probably send you to the next diplomacy meeting we had,” he told him, and to his horror, Ridley nodded. 

“...is it that bad?”

“You don’t have to go,” Triton told him, and Ridley rolled his eyes.

“You look like a member of the royal court.”

“That isn’t reassuring me.”

“Well, it should,” he said and gestured behind him. “Do you want to meet Triton’s ex-girlfriend or not?”

Ah, so she was an ex. Fantastic. Triton gave Ridley a dark look. 

So Percy went. Triton still argued that their father hadn’t given him permission, but in the end, he couldn’t really justify Percy interrupting whatever important thing he was doing for something they both knew he would agree to. After all, Poseidon had maybe gently (once or twice) tried to nudge Percy into attending one of these banquets. Percy had politely declined after the blowing-something-up-incident and on the grounds that (and he didn't say this) they sounded absolutely terrible.

But, hey, maybe he would have come sooner if anyone bothered to tell him who was on the guest list. 

“How long have you known Triton?” Percy asked Ridley - ignoring Triton himself as they swam down the aisles of the castle. Ridley wrinkled his nose.

“Oh, not too long. About… four hundred years?” he said, counting on his fingers. Percy blinked. Huh. Well, that should have been expected. “I met him while he was trying to convince Kymopoleia to stop sinking all the ships explorers were sending out. I was on her side, quite honestly,” he said, and Triton grimaced.

Fascinating.

“And what about you?” Ridley asked, reminding Percy to shape up. Right. He didn’t get to just annoy Triton for free. “You met Triton during the Titan War?” he asked, and Percy gave a calm nod. Triton tensed a little - anything about the wars was usually an off-limit topic in fear it could rile Percy up… which was annoying and riled him up when they censored things, but whatever.

“I did. We had just… finished a mission and exploded the Princess Andromeda,” he said dutifully, trying to keep his mind safely off of Beckendorf. He failed. “I was brought down to Atlantis to heal, and Triton so very kindly asked me if I was ready to pitch in and do my share of the fighting,” he said and gave his brother a cool look. Triton pursed his lips. “Then I got to go back home to attend a funeral.”

Ridley fixed him with a long look and then nodded.

“Considering you won the war, I think you pitched in quite a bit.” 

Percy had won two. He didn’t say that, though. The thought made him tired.

“Yeah, a bit,” he mumbled instead and then put his hands in the pockets he was delighted to find by his side. “And then I met Triton again when I decided to go to Alaska, and he punched me in the face,” he continued merrily. 

“He... punched you?”

“I’m the better mannered of the two,” Percy said - which was absolutely a lie - but given how Triton actually looked kind of guilty, he knew he could get away with it. Ridley nodded slightly with an air of concern. “But I’m sure part of it was the jarring experience of being turned mortal - you heard he turned mortal, right?” he asked. 

“It’s been mentioned, yes.”

“Yes, well, he made a fool of himself - ow,” Percy complained. Apparently, Triton was no longer feeling guilty since he decided to whack Percy on the back of the head. “And who is the ex-girlfriend again?” he tacked on as he hit Triton’s arm in return. 

“Well, you can say hi to her yourself… one day. Maybe,” Ridley told him as he opened the doors to the banquet room. Wait. Percy frowned. One day? What? Weren’t they going to see her now? Why was-?

“Perseus!”

He had been betrayed.

As someone who has been betrayed before, he knew the signs. The doors opened to the banquet hall, yes, but one a bit smaller than what he had been expecting - suggesting it wasn’t one of the public ones but ones specifically for foreign diplomats. Sure enough, there were a few younger faces, but mostly it was older merpeople alongside (much to his horror) Kym and Rhode. Triton had pretty heavily implied they were not attending. Liar. Poseidon and Amphitrite were both at the end of the table - initially looking very peeved by the interruption, but surprise seemed to take over their faces when they realized who it was. 

“My king,” Ridley said and bowed his head. “I am so sorry for the late arrival. Prince Triton and I collected a guest,” he said with a nod towards where Percy was frozen near the entrance. Late arrival? Oh, gods. This just kept getting worse.

...maybe he could still run. And perhaps he would have, but the second he looked over his shoulder, Triton closed the door.

“Sorry,” he whispered, putting his hands on Percy’s shoulders to steer him towards the table. “I won a good hundred sand dollars bringing you here,” he whispered, and Percy turned to him with a hiss through his teeth.

“You planned this?!”

“Well, you would have been suspicious if you thought I wanted you to go!” Triton said and practically shoved Percy in a chair. “By the way, I get extra for bringing you in nice clothes,” he added, and Percy was going to cut his stupid hair at first given opportunity. He turned his gaze instead to where Ridley had taken his seat and stared him down. 

Sorry, he mouthed. Percy had no plans of forgiving him anytime soon. They had brought him into a small room of mostly strangers for a formal affair late while the two most important people in the ocean and their kids were present. If he survived this... well. It was bold of him to think surviving was likely. Kronos and Gaea were one thing. This was something else entirely.

“Perseus,” Poseidon greeted curiously, and Percy almost jumped at being addressed. “What an unexpected surprise,” he said and looked at where Triton was taking something from a bitter Kym (since when did Kym attend these?). “What persuaded you to join us?” 

...would telling the truth be considered rude? Probably. Immature? Definitely.

“Oh,” he said and gave a nervous laugh. “Just… spur of the moment,” he smiled tightly. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I wouldn’t have-”

“Tardiness can be forgiven for such a rare honor,” Amphitrite drawled in a way that Percy wasn’t sure if he was being teased or ridiculed. He smiled weakly all the same. Perhaps she took some pity on him because she lightly shoved some ambrosia his way. “Not too much,” she reminded him. Percy nodded. Right. Immortals. No human food. This was the worst. Given he wasn’t injured, he could probably only have half a square without bursting into flames.

“Or you can give him something he can eat,” Rhode said lightly and waved her hand. Jellybeans and a tomato appeared on his plate. “That’s something humans like, right?” she asked him. A few diplomats were watching with fascination. Percy looked down and tried his best to stay as calm and collected as possible.

“Yes, thank you,” he said and risked a glance at Triton (who probably knew what an awful combination this was by this point). He did seem to have some pity because he bit his lip and waved his hand. The food shimmered into a muffin and bowl of fruit.

“Don’t spoil him, Rhode,” he told him. “He did arrive late, after all.” 

“So did you,” Rhode objected, but Percy quickly took a bite before she could change it again. The food (like most things) always seemed perfectly dry to Percy. He had no idea if the magic was specific to him or if Poseidon had done something to make his stay more comfortable, but he was grateful his food didn’t taste soggy. 

The rest of the banquet was probably as boring as he had feared - with merpeople calling him lord and bowing and everything Percy hated. Though, it was rather fascinating to see how serious they took him. He wasn’t sure if it was because they knew the extent of his powers, respect for Poseidon, or they genuinely thought his opinion was worth something but had mixed feelings on it. 

“Fascinating,” Doris was saying after Percy spent a good thirty minutes explaining renewable resources. “So mortals do have an understanding of their effects on the ocean,” she said, pouring herself some nectar. 

“Some do,” Percy said. “It just isn’t taken seriously. We have a harder time thinking more long-term, given that we don’t live as long. If it doesn’t become an issue in our lifetime, then we tend to shove it to the side,” he admitted. “But people are working on it,” he shrugged, and a murmur went around the table. Rhode beamed at him. 

“You give immortals too much credit, Lord Perseus,” Fisk scoffed. “There are those who live moment to moment among even the oldest deities - your father being one example,” he said, and Percy felt his eyes widened as he glanced at where Poseidon was absently breaking off another piece of ambrosia. His eyes glimmered with amusement at the jab. 

“You think me short-sighted, my lord?” he asked, though he didn’t seem too upset as he took a bite of his food. “When have I ever demonstrated a lack of foresight?” he asked innocently, and the table laughed. “Shame on all of you for disrespecting your king,” he sniffed, and Amphitrite smirked at her food. Oh. Good. At least nobody here was too high-strung for a joke.

“Tell me, Lord Perseus,” Doris asked dryly. “Do you share your father’s invaluable foresight?” 

...this felt dangerous. Percy looked around, staring at the expectant eyes. Ridley smiled at him from his end of the table, and Percy decided he was going to cut his hair off when he was finished with Triton’s. 

Oh, screw it. 

“If I did, I think we may have lost both wars,” he said, and someone choked. Luckily, this was followed by laughter, so he probably wasn’t going to immediately die. He glanced at Rhode (she was a pretty good gauge on knowing the real mood of the room). She smiled at him, so that was reassuring. “But I do believe Lord Triton was bestowed with that gift,” he tacked on, eating a couple of berries as he met Triton’s eyes with a sarcastic smile. His brother glared back. 

“Ha!” Alon said from a few seats over. “What an understatement. I remember when he was nothing but a fry,” he snorted. “Poor Poseidon and Amphitrite had their hands full.”

“Who says we still don’t?” Amphitrite asked dryly with a look at where Triton had paused - looking terrified by the change in topics. Huh… this seemed fun. Percy feigned innocence.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and Triton gave the smallest shake of his head. 

“You haven’t heard the stories of your brother’s youth?” Alon snorted, and Percy fixed Triton with a feral grin. Yeah. Yep. This was fun now.

“Not many,” Percy said, ignoring the increasing look of panic on Triton’s face. “He just tells me the ones that make him look good.” 

“Ha!” Doris scoffed. “Oh, how sweet. Though don’t be fooled. They are all tyrants. Even sweet little Rhode over there,” she said, and Rhode’s smile vanished. Wait. 

“No way,” Percy said, putting his cup down. “Rhode?”

“You think she is so innocent? I beg your pardon, your majesty,” Doris added to Poseidon. At this, Poseidon seemed torn as to if he was going to let Rhode continue to be picked on as he looked over the table. He fixed her with an apologetic look.

“There was that time in Rome…”

“Father!” Rhode managed as Kym pointed at her with a snort. “I- don’t point at me, it’s rude!” she snapped furiously at Kym with a glare. Kym rolled her eyes but listened with a smirk. “Needless to say-”

“What happened in Rome?” Percy asked. Rhode opened her mouth for a moment and then took a long breath. 

“You know, Triton once stole from our parents because he planned to run away and build a new kingdom after our mother said he couldn’t have another statue dedicated to him in the courtyard,” she said. Triton spluttered as he looked at Rhode in utter betrayal. 

...alright. Maybe these banquets weren’t so bad.

Percy still had beef with Ridley, though.

Chapter Text

Percy wasn't often in the business of saying no. Especially when it came to Annabeth. Maybe he should. Maybe he could have avoided this whole thing by looking his girlfriend dead in the eyes and saying, 'sorry, I love you, but this is a bad idea'.

...but he couldn't do it.

She looked so excited and hopeful. Percy often forgot the duality to both him and her. Annabeth was smart and analytical, sure, but she hadn't lived the life Percy had. They hadn't been taught the same lessons.

"The tickets are on sale! I've never been to one before," she was saying as she dragged Percy closer to the counter. Her eyes flicked him over curiously. "Have you been?"

Percy inwardly sighed. He went to pull out his wallet, but Annabeth beat him there. She pulled out a couple of bills and then frowned at the coins. Drachmas were much easier to work with, and most of her mortal experience with money came in the form of debit cards. Wordlessly, he helped her sort out the quarters from the dimes and nickels before answering her question.

"Every so often, I would sneak into one of these when I was ditching school," he explained and grimaced at the lights flickering above them.

It wasn't like Percy didn't have a sense of humor. He did. He liked comedy. Comedians? He was... wary.

"Were they any good?"

"It really depends on the person performing," Percy admitted and reached over to pull at one of her curls. "They'll make fun of you," he warned. Annabeth raised an eyebrow.

"I think I can handle that."

"No, I mean, if you're lucky, the person might just tease you, but some of the older ones are going to see how pretty you are and harass you while everyone laughs," he said.

"I've been told I'm intimidating," Annabeth shrugged and dragged him inside. Yay. Again, it might be fun. Percy hadn't had a chance to read up on whoever was performing, so the whole thing might be great, but he also didn't trust the photo they saw out front. An older guy who reminded Percy of a god in disguise. Also, the fact the tickets were on sale could mean a beginner still waiting for discovery or someone just.... bad.

"Look!" Annabeth said brightly. "Those are open!"

Percy narrowed his eyes. There was a row of reserved seats to the left, but to the right, the front row seats were all open. Percy considered insisting they sit in the back to avoid attention but took one look at Annabeth's hair piled up in a blonde cascade of curls in a dark blue dress and knew anyone with eyes would be drawn to her no matter where they sat.

He really hoped she was serious when she said she didn't mind being made fun of. Still, Percy hadn't punched anyone in a while. Maybe he should be ready for that… though if Annabeth was truly offended, she would beat him there.

The show ended up starting about twenty minutes later. The room was fuller than Percy had expected - not sold out - but perhaps seventy percent capacity. There were still some seats open by them when the comedian came on stage, and the audience erupted into a cheer.

Percy braced himself and watched.

They had lasted about maybe ten minutes before the guy caught sight of Annabeth. Percy inwardly sighed as the man froze - eyes flicking her over before spinning on the spot to walk to their side of the theater.

"Hello, there," he greeted merrily and sat down on the edge of the stage. "You realize this is an R-rated show, right?" he asked. Annabeth nodded. "So you're over eighteen?" She nodded again. "Good to know," he said, and the audience laughed.

Wow. So funny. Percy hated him.

"And who are you here with?" the comedian asked. Annabeth looked at the man, mystified. It was times like these that Percy remembered Annabeth had grown up at Camp Half-Blood and not the mortal world. It was a strange thing to notice. She had a certain… not naivety, but confusion about stuff Percy never batted an eye at. Even though she had spent years with her dad since they were twelve, she never fully adapted to mortals. He had to remind her not to say demigod phrases ('Holy Hera' isn't a phrase they're accustomed to, Wise Girl) and that you couldn't give offerings at restaurants.

It was why he was so nervous about this whole thing. It had occurred to him that she had never seen an adult comedy show filled with old men and their terrible jokes. She probably also wasn't aware of crowdsourcing. He should have been more detailed in his warnings.

"My boyfriend," Annabeth answered slowly, and Percy felt the comedian's eyes flick to him.

"Holy shit," the guy said. Percy raised an eyebrow. "I was planning on making jokes about how she is clearly out of your league, but you're hot, too," he said, baffled.

Percy shrugged. "She's still out of my league," he called. The audience laughed.

"Smart man," the comedian told him sagely, and Percy rolled his eyes. "And how long have you been together?"

"Three years."

"Three years? That's a long time for a young couple. Is that how long you've known one another?" he asked, and Percy shook his head. "Oh? How long have you known each other then?"

"Seven years."

"Seven years?" the comedian asked. "That's insane. So what were you? Like 12? 13 when you met?" he asked, and Percy nodded. "You know, you both look like those two kids who got kidnapped seven years ago. Does everyone remember that?" he called, and the audience murmured. "That was wild shit. You might be too young to remember," he added to Percy and Annabeth. "There was this guy who took these three kids hostage and dragged them across America. Everyone thought this one boy was a terrorist, but it turned out he was just trying to get help. Isn't that crazy? We accused a twelve-year-old of terrorism."

…alright, Percy didn't hate this guy as much, but he was on super thin ice.

"Imagine seeing a little boy running away from a huge ass man and thinking 'hey…I think he's the problem'," the guys said. Percy snorted. Then, to his horror, Annabeth raised her hand.

"That was us!"

How could she? This is not what a child of wisdom should be doing-

The comedian whipped back around so fast that he was pretty sure he gave himself whiplash.

"That was-? No fucking way," he said and circled back to them. "That was you? For real?" he asked. Annabeth nodded. "You were the kidnapped kids?" he asked and looked around. "Where's the third one? Was he taken again?"

The crowd laughed because, apparently, they would laugh at anything. Percy's opinion went down again.

"He's in California," he said, and the comedian seemed to consider this as he tapped a finger to his lip.

"Wait, so you were the child-terrorist?" He asked, disbelief still in his tone. Percy nodded. "Holy shit. I got a couple of celebrities here." He ran a hand through his hair. "Dude, what?" he asked. "I want to talk more to you."

Of course, he did.

"I'm so excited," Percy told him dryly, and the comedian's grin became a little more feral.

"I never thought about it, but how did your life proceed after beating a grown man in a gunfight and escaping captivity?"

Percy opened his mouth to say something snippy when a snort came from his left.

He turned and groaned.

"What's that?" the comedian asked and swung around to the stranger. "Do you know him? I didn't notice you come in."

"I'm his brother," Triton greeted. What was he doing here? That was bad. Super bad. Terribly bad. He had to want something. Percy knew he would just wait at the apartment if he was just visiting.

The comedian gasped. "This is fun," he said, delighted. "You two look a lot alike. Twins?"

"I'm older," Triton told him with a slight frown. "I look older," he muttered.

"Right. Sorry. Didn't mean to offend the age difference of twelve months," the comedian said solemnly. Triton's indignant look grew. It was more like a couple thousand years, but Percy didn't think Triton would say that.

"It's five years," he said, and the comedian stared at him. "It is!"

"Is he lying?" the guy asked Percy. Naturally, Percy had to nod. "Uh-huh. It's one year, isn't it?" he asked, and Percy's grin grew as he nodded again. Triton held out his hands in offense. "I knew it. You can't fool me," he told the audience. "Alright, so your slightly younger brother-"

"He's also my half-brother," Triton said, and the comedian paused. He turned to Percy.

"Is he lying to me again?" he asked. Why did Triton and Annabeth keep engaging with him? This man might be a monster based on how lacking he was in comedy. Sighing, Percy shook his head. "Okay, you can answer without attitude. Your very much older brother is here. Respect your elders. Damn," he grumbled and went back to Triton. Annabeth snorted from beside him.

"Now… which of you is a child of an affair?" He asked without a hint of tact. Triton pointed at Percy. "Oh, shit. I was joking, but okay. So your parents are married?" he asked. Triton, who looked outright fascinated by the direction this was heading, nodded. "Same mom or dad?" he asked.

"Dad."

"It's always the dad, isn't it? And how did your mom feel about him being a terrorist?"

Triton rolled his eyes. "It was a little surprising since we didn't know he existed until that point."

Percy blinked. He hadn't known that, actually. Had his existence been a secret from even Amphitrite and her kids until he was claimed?

"So he just appeared on television with a wanted sign, and your dad was like 'that's my boy!'?" the comedian asked. Triton pretty much shrugged. "I love this family dynamic. Do you two get along?"

Percy laughed. Alright, he would answer that.

"Sometimes."

"Aw, only sometimes?"

"Not in the beginning," Triton told him carefully, and the crowd tittered curiously. Percy had almost forgotten they were there with their short bursts of laughter.

"When do you think you first started to like him was?"

What was this a fucking interview for?

Triton's smile turned dangerous.

"When he ran away to Alaska," Triton said, and the comedian's mouth dropped.

"When he what?"

"Don't do this," Percy complained, and the comedian laughed as he walked around.

"No, we have to do this. Are you from New York?" he asked, and Percy sighed again before nodding. "I suppose you already were dragged across the continental United States when you were twelve. Alaska was the one place you haven't seen," he scoffed. Percy made a face. "So you ran away to Alaska..." he hummed, shaking his head. "When was this? Were you dating?" he asked Annabeth.

"Last year!"

They were all trying to kill him.

"Last year? And did you go with him?" he asked her. Annabeth shook her head. "You couldn't convince him to stay? You should have-"

"Watch it," Percy warned, and the guy must have sensed that it wasn't going to end well for him because he stopped the joke there. Annabeth gave him a scolding look, and he shrugged.

"Wow..." the comedian said. "Has this happened before?" he asked Triton. "Wait, let me back up. How many siblings do you have?" he asked, and someone said something in the crowd. The guy turned to them. "Yeah, I had a set planned out, but I just want to talk to these guys. It's too late. You all paid. We're doing this now," he said and turned back. "Sorry, how many siblings?" he asked innocently. Triton stared. It was hard to tell who was more perplexed by this performance - Triton or Annabeth.

"Three full ones."

Wait...three? Who the Hell was the third?

"He isn't the only half-sibling?"

"I lost count of how many half-siblings I have."

"No fucking way. I'm so sorry," he added, and Percy raised his hands. "I'm just saying! I don't know your dad, but he sounds like a slu- oh, wait. Hi, there," the comedian cut himself off. "You look very much like these two."

….gods. Please...please….no….

Percy turned. Sure enough, Poseidon was a few seats away. Percy turned back to Triton, who had gone white.

"What did you do?" he asked, leaning over to whisper. Triton bit his lip.

"He thinks I lost my symbol of power."

"And so why are you both here?"

"He thinks I'm going to ask you to get it back."

"Did you lose it?"

"That depends. Would you get it back for me?"

"Triton!" he groaned and hit his arm. Triton stared at him in pure offense. "You're supposed to be the responsible one. What the Hell?" he whispered. He couldn't believe this. "I'm going to- shit, he's talking to Dad. Do something!"

"Like what?!"

"Isn't Poseidon easily offended? He'll blow up the guy!"

"That might be more entertaining for the rest of us."

Percy hated his family. He turned to where the comedian was, indeed, confirming Poseidon as Percy and Triton's father. He put his face on Annabeth's shoulder. He should have died during one of those wars while he had the chance.

"So, I've been talking to your sons," the comedian said, and someone in the audience said something. "Stop! I have a child-terrorist and his super slutty father here! The rest of you don't matter!" he shouted. Oh… Percy sunk lower into his seat.

"...I can't look. How pissed is he?" Percy whispered. Annabeth peered over.

"He seems to be taking it well. Maybe he's slut-shamed often."

"You slut-shamed the gods," Triton reminded him. Percy made a face. Yeah, maybe, but not his father and not in front of a group of mortals to his face… though he would be lying if he said that maybe under the right circumstances, he might call Poseidon out on it too.

"Okay, hi," the comedian said, turning back to Poseidon. "So I met your sons," he added, and Percy risked a look a few seats over to see Poseidon tilting his head with a vague sort of amusement. "I see why they're so ridiculously attractive now - and why they're so many of them."

This was the worst thing ever to happen to him… and Percy went to Tartarus.

"I-" the comedian again, but someone else shouted something. The comedian groaned and went to the other stage. "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" he yelled, and the voice answered something muffled. The comedian blinked. "Wait, what? I - did you blow up a gym?" he asked, turning back to Percy.

There was an awkward pause.

"Um," he finally said and sat up slightly. "Who said that?"

"This kid said you blew up his school's gym! Oh my God, you did! You totally did! Sir, I don't want to critique your parenting, but he was kidnapped and blew up a gym - and he ran away to Alaska? Did you know about that?" he asked. Poseidon nodded. "Why did you run away, by the way? Can I ask that?"

This man had already asked too many questions, but Triton had already pointed to their father. Percy decided to just drink his coke to calm down.

"He ran away because of you? Why?" the comedian snorted as he turned back to Poseidon. "Based on the evidence, he just needed to walk away. You weren't going to come sprinting after him."

Percy spat out the coke. Poseidon stiffened slightly. Yep. That one wasn't good. Nope. Dead. Percy internally winced. Should he be evacuating people?

"This is a bewildering family… I, wait, how did your mother react to you being kidnapped? I vaguely remembered something about her and your stepdad giving out free appliances."

Ha. Fond memories. Percy opened his mouth when someone else yelled out.

"THAT WAS SALLY JACKSON!"

"Sally Jackson?" the comedian asked and then paused. "You mean the author or the sculptor?"

"She's both," Percy said warily. This guy better tread carefully if his mother was the topic of conversation. "She only made the one statue," he explained, and there was a slight gasp of recognition.

"Right! Yes! The Poker Player, right? I've seen that in the museum down the street - I had no idea it was her only one," he said, and Percy shrugged. "So, she just made the one and decided that was enough?" he asked and then shook his head. "No. Wait that is a super realistic statue. That can't be her first!"

"It was," Percy said, and the guy stared. He turned to Annabeth, who nodded.

"...this family is wild. And now she writes books? Or is she just planning on writing one and being done with that, too?" he asked. Percy narrowed his eyes. "Wow…" he murmured and then looked at Annabeth. "What's your family like? Do they know about all of this?" he asked, and the audience laughed. Annabeth grinned.

"Yeah. My mom doesn't like his dad," she added. Percy had fallen in love with the personification of chaos, apparently. He shot her a betrayed look. The comedian tilted his head.

"Really? Well, I guess I can see that," he mused. "Sorry, but you're not looking the best right now," he added to Poseidon, who frowned. "Wait, so do you like her mom?" he asked. Poseidon laughed. "That sounds like a no… I mean, these two have known each other since they were twelve. Did you know her mom back then, too?"

"I've known her mother for much longer."

"Really? Did you two date?" he asked, and Poseidon made a face. The comedian snorted. "Right. My bad. I am so sorry for such a horrible image. It's good to know you have standards, sir. We were all wondering-"

"Hey!" Percy and Triton said sharply at once.

"I mean, obviously your mothers are fantastic! Look at you!" he added, and Percy glared. "Damn. We're running low on time… I want to ask more about your mom, though. Do you two get along?" he asked Percy, who grimaced.

Triton popped up. "She loves me!"

"What? Why you?"

"Well, I raised-"

"Nope," Percy interrupted before Triton could finish and hit his arm again. "She helped him raise his child," he tried. It was still weird, but not as weird as Triton telling a room full of people that he had helped raise his girlfriend's mother.

"You have a child?" the comedian spluttered, and Triton shrugged before jerking his chin to Percy.

"So does he."

"You two have a child!?"

"It isn't mine," Annabeth said, and the audience collectively decided this was a good time to lose their shit. Percy was never attending a goddamn comedy show again.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, DAD!" the comedian yelled. "THIS IS CLEARLY GENETIC!"

If someone told him it was with Kym….

...luckily, they ran out of time. Percy tried to keep his tirade to a minimum, but he had some complaints.

"You two are the worst! The worst!" he seethed as they left the theater.

Annabeth laughed. "I liked it."

"Don't say that," Percy groaned, and Annabeth shrugged. Whatever. He had thought she would be the object of ridicule. Not him. "And - where did Dad go?"

"I don't know," Triton shrugged. "Check the news. Any hurricanes or storms?" he asked, and Percy turned to glare at him. "Okay, but about my conch-"

"I don't want to get your stupid conch," Percy groaned. He had just been tortured. Why was anyone asking him for anything? "I want to spend time with Annabeth-"

"And I have a wonderful date idea for you," Triton said, raising his hands. "You guys do a scavenger seashell hunt, except the seashell is my conch-"

"Hey," Percy interrupted and yanked at his arm. "Why did you say three back there?" he asked. Triton tilted his head, possibly confused by the sudden change of conversation. "You said you have three full-blooded siblings. You only have two. Rhode and Kym, right?" He asked. Triton raised his brows.

"No… I have three."

Percy stared. No way.

"Who the Hell is the third?"

"You have Google!" Triton said - much too indignantly for someone who only recently learned about Google. "Have you not bothered to look up our family tree?" he asked as Percy whipped out his phone to search. This was definitely a joke.

"Here," he read out. "It says Triton, Rhodos… is that Rhode?" He asked. Triton nodded. "It says she's disputed as being their kid?"

"Old family drama. Don't worry about it. Who else?"

"Kymopoleia," he said and then frowned. "And… Ben… Beth… how do you say that?"

"Benthesikyme. Just call her Benni."

"Why haven't I met her?! Since when has she existed?"

"Since way before you," Triton snorted and tilted his head. "I'll tell you a secret about her if you agree to get my conch," he added. Percy crossed his arms over his chest. "Come on. When have I asked you for anything? Ever?" he asked, and Percy raised an eyebrow. "Who kept you from going batshit crazy in Alaska?" he asked, and Percy felt his resistance crack. "Listen, not everyone gets let off so easy because we aren't the favorite-"

"Fine!" Percy broke and squeezed Annabeth's hand. She yawned and put her head on his shoulder. "But I'm doing it tomorrow," he grumbled. "And what about Benni?" he asked.

Triton shrugged. "She's my twin," he said. Percy opened his mouth to have a minor breakdown about that but was cut off by a shift in the breeze. Inwardly screaming, he turned to find Poseidon behind them.

“Triton. Perseus. Annabeth.”

"Hi, Dad," he said warily as Annabeth politely bowed her head. "Um, did you need something? I didn't expect to see you tonight…" he trailed, unsure if he should bring up the events of the night. Oh, gods. What if he had just finished murdering that comedian?

"I noticed Triton's duties were incomplete," he said with a frown. "I wanted to inquire as to why…" he said, looking at Triton suspiciously. Triton pasted on a bright smile and subtly bumped Percy. Oh. Right.

"I asked him to come visit," he said with a nod. Poseidon tilted his head. Yeah, because Percy just loved when his brother showed up on his dates. "Sorry, I forget he has princely stuff to do," he added with a shrug. Poseidon looked him over for a moment before turning to Triton.

"I'll be sure to get them all done soon," he promised. There was a beat of silence where Percy was sure he was about to call them out, but instead, Poseidon merely nodded.

"Very well - don't take too long," he added and then looked at the theater behind them for a couple moments and muttered something under his breath that didn't sound very nice. Without another word, he was gone.

Percy was seriously concerned for that comedian… but he had other issues.

"What the Hell do you mean she's your twin?"

Chapter Text

Sneaking around at night was hard when immortals didn't sleep.

Not that Percy was in the middle of doing something devious or ill-advised. He just was wandering around the palace in the middle of Atlantis, exploring various rooms as he tried and failed to exhaust himself to the point where he might just pass out. He had already combed through half the palace - taking in pearl rooms and grand feats of architecture that Annabeth would surely adore - when he finally found a small room in an obscure corner of the castle.

"Perseus?"

And this one wasn't empty.

"Dad," he greeted, almost jumping at the realization that someone else was even in the room. "I didn't know you were in here," he said and glanced around. The room was smaller than most in the palace - and relatively plain compared to the ostentatious decoration of the throne room. It had marble floors, an entire wall of glass, and a few sparse seats surrounding a blue fire floating in the center of the room. "I'm sorry-"

"It is… night?" Poseidon frowned at him. He was sitting on a cushioned armchair with some ancient-looking book open in his lap. Percy glanced out the window. Atlantis was a weird sort of paradox where it was technically at the bottom of the ocean in a pocket of time and space. However, outside reflected day and night as if the sun could even reach the bottom. Magic and all that.

"Um. Yes. Looks like it," he said, and Poseidon narrowed his eyes as he closed the book.

"I believe most mortals sleep during this time," he prompted. Ah. Percy grimaced.

"Sleeping is hard for me these days," he admitted warily. It was a fact he would once have avoided - especially in front of a god - but life had worn him down to the point where he wasn't sure he had any pride left to even pretend like it was shameful. "Nightmares and stuff. It's easier to just…" he trailed off. Poseidon waited. "Just tire myself out. Or down whatever sleeping pills I can find," he said with a slight shake of his head.

Poseidon waved his hand, and another chair appeared. Percy frowned. Alright. Was he sitting down? He didn't see what else that could imply, so he took a few wary steps forward. Poseidon was watching him with intense eyes that weren't really appreciated. Had they ever sat down and just… talked before?

No, there was always an objective behind whatever discussions they had. Even in their first meeting after Percy delivered the Master Bolt, there had been an awkwardness before throwing in productive topics that outlined how their relationship was going to end up working. Percy wasn't sure what they could possibly discuss now.

What was the best move here? Wait for him to talk first? Ask about his day? Come up with a specific Atlantis-related question? He had no idea.

...he missed Annabeth.

Poseidon seemed to be going through a similar internal struggle because his expression flicked from completely blank to wary as he looked Percy over.

"What's that?" Percy finally asked, unable to help himself as he eyed the leather book in his father's hands. Poseidon glanced down - almost as if surprised it was still there - before grimacing. His fingers trailed over the spine for a moment before sighing and holding it out.

...strange, but sure. Percy took it cautiously. It looked normal enough. When he flipped it open, the pages were all written in Atlantean, which he hadn't yet learned. Not the writing part of it, anyway. He was able to speak bits and pieces but nowhere near fluent. One word did catch his attention, though. It was one of the few words Triton had shown him written down in Atlantean.

"Is that my name?" he asked, pointing to one of the pages. It was littered over the script, actually.

"Yes," Poseidon said slowly. "It is a...." he trailed off. Percy waited. "An updating work," he decided as if that was supposed to mean anything to Percy. He frowned, looking down in confusion before a sudden wave of suspicion wiggled through his mind. He looked back up at Poseidon with a frown.

"Updating work," he repeated and felt a stab of annoyance. "Is this your way of spying on me?"

Poseidon snorted. Percy didn't find the idea nearly as amusing, but whatever.

"I wouldn't quite put it like that, but yes," he said. Ugh. Percy looked down - wishing he could read it. Just how detailed was this thing? "Atlantis makes one for all of my children. It makes it easy if I need to reach out. I have the information I need," he shrugged. Percy pursed his lips. "Like if they decide to leave New York and go to Alaska, for example."

Oh, it was like that, was it?

"Hilarious," Percy told him dryly. Poseidon merely shrugged. "Though I know it was the barracudas who told you - and to what do I owe this invasion of my privacy now? I'm right here," he said… which wasn't the smartest attitude to have with a god. One would think Percy would learn after all the mouthing off he had done with various deities, but hey. He was still alive, so whatever. Poseidon's smile vanished.

For a second, Percy worried he actually had offended him, but when Poseidon spoke again, his voice was careful and concerned.

"I was… out of touch for a long time," he said, and Percy felt the book warm under his hands - as if agreeing with Poseidon's words. "When our Roman and Greek forms began to split, it made it… difficult for me to see you or understand what was happening."

Oh. Was it time for that conversation?

Percy licked his lips. He had wondered if this would be an issue. Part of him had hoped they could ignore it to an extent - that seemed to be his father's expertise - but he knew deep down it would always sit between them unless addressed. Percy slowly looked down and flipped a page. This could get emotional. He tried to prepare himself.

"I see," he began and ran a finger over the unfamiliar words. "I did wonder about that. Hazel saw Pluto. Frank saw Mars. Annabeth even saw Minerva," he said with a wry smile. "Leo and Piper saw their parents, too. Jason didn't see Jupiter, but I guess he had Juno, didn't he?" he tacked on. There was no hiding the bitterness. Percy wouldn't even bother to try.

"You wouldn't have liked me as Neptune," Poseidon told him darkly. Percy almost laughed. There were times he didn't like him as Poseidon either, but that probably wasn't the best thing to say. "Besides, you've never needed my guidance-"

"That isn't fair."

Poseidon paused.

"No?"

"You've just never given it. I've asked," Percy said - genuinely offended by how this had gone. "You know I've asked."

"You've always succeeded without me."

"I shouldn't have had to," Percy frowned at him. "I- I didn't want to have done it alone. If it weren't for Annabeth and Grover, I would have never made it even through that first quest. I would have taken something - anything from you. Throughout my entire life. I've never rejected anything you've offered me. Just because I managed to do without you didn't mean I didn't-" he began but quickly snapped his mouth shut. Didn't mean I didn't need you, sat at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

Percy looked down at the book.

"Did you read about Hera then?" he asked when Poseidon didn't respond immediately. "About Tartarus?"

He flinched. Percy took that as a yes.

"You have your mother," he said - clearly still on the first topic. Percy snapped the book shut.

"Olympus better be grateful I did," he said darkly. "And what about that, by the way?" he asked. Poseidon raised an eyebrow. "Did this thing tell you about my first stepfather?" he asked. Poseidon sighed. Hm. "And you did nothing."

"I couldn't have. I offered," he cut in. Percy narrowed his eyes. Which was it then? "I offered Sally immortality. I offered to take you. She said no to both. She told me she could handle it, and that was her way of handling it-"

"Do not pin anything on her."

"What should I have done? Killed him? You would have had to leave her sooner. If I came in person, my scent could outdo his. I-"

"You could have at least sent money."

"Exactly how many boarding schools did you go to again?" Poseidon asked. Wait. Percy frowned. "That was the only way she accepted money as if it was for your education. She worried if she accepted more…" he trailed off. He didn't need to finish. Percy knew his mother better than anyone. She knew what it was to be in debt - and being in debt to a god? That would be risky. "I think she worried if I gave too much that I would try to have a greater say in your life," Poseidon admitted, and if Percy didn't know better, then he would say there was a hint of hurt there.

"She probably read some myths," he muttered. Again, he really wasn't going in with the 'brightest and best version of tact. Poseidon's eyes flash - genuine anger wavering his expression before he took a breath and smoothed it out. Percy ignored it. He was too busy caught up in his mother's line of thinking. It would have been her way of ensuring his future freedom. Percy wondered if she truly thought Poseidon would try such a thing or if she was merely being cautious.

He bit his lip. It was probably the latter. The only time his mother was cautious was when it came to him and Estelle.

"Sorry," Percy amended… unsure if he really meant it. "It's just frustrating. I mean, mortals can be powerless. Demigods, too. Gods, though?" he shrugged and leaned back in his chair. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. "I'm trying to figure out if your hands were really tied or not," he said.

Poseidon's lips thinned at that, but he didn't answer right away.

"You haven't accepted all I've offered you," he said, and it took Percy a moment to realize he was referencing Percy's earlier comment. "You didn't accept immortality - and you've been offered it more than once," he added. Percy wanted to argue that Poseidon technically wasn't the one who had offered him that. Though… well, he had definitely had a hand in it the most recent time… and the first, too.

This conversation felt all over the place. Percy ran a hand through his hair.

"I wouldn't do well with it," he said and shifted in his seat. Poseidon watched him carefully. "What?" he asked defensively. Another pause. "...I feel like you have something to say," Percy told him dryly. Poseidon scoffed, leaning forward to tug the book back from Percy with a mocking flick of the wrist.

He sometimes hated how alike they were.

"You wouldn't do well with it," he repeated and flicked through the book. "You were willing to put the entire world at risk to avoid such a fate," he said. Percy's jaw clenched. "You thought death was a better alternative," he said, and Percy bit his lip. He wasn't sure he was going to enjoy whatever observation Poseidon had waiting for him. "Just seems like a little more than that."

"I wouldn't be able to stand watching my family and friends die."

"So, naturally, you volunteer your own death so they can watch you die."

"Okay," Percy laughed tightly. "I- you don't have any room to criticize-"

"I'm not trying to be critical," Poseidon sighed. Percy begged to differ. "I would merely prefer some honesty."

"You don't think I'm being honest?"

"Volatile? Yes. Honest? Not completely."

Fathers, Percy decided, were infuriating.

"I'm being very honest," Percy said and then bit his tongue. Okay, so maybe not completely. He would say he was mincing his words since he was talking to a god, but…. Eh, he wasn't mincing his words. Glowering at the ground. "Why can you never just ask for my opinion?" he finally broke. Poseidon blinked. "You made all of these decisions without once asking what I wanted. About my childhood, the first prophecy, the second one, and Alaska," he listed off with a shrug. "And, I know I was a kid for some of it, but was my opinion that worthless?" he asked. Poseidon opened his mouth. "And don't try to say it was to protect me. I mean, look at that book and tell me how that played out," he added coolly.

"I would not-" Poseidon began and then stopped himself. There was a brief pause. "I thought we talked about this."

They had, actually. Right after the big council meeting where they debated Percy's final fate.

"I know you kept me in the dark to keep the ailment thing from spreading," Percy said, a little exasperated. "I just- I don't know!" he snapped. "Maybe I just want someone to blame, and you have a reason for everything you've done," he said, frustrated. He hated that Poseidon had an answer for everything. Percy thought it might have been a relief to learn his father wasn't some cold, callous god who hated him and used him as a weapon to look good, but… part of him almost felt like that would be easier. Maybe he secretly wanted a scapegoat. Someone to point out and say 'these bad things are because of you' and direct all his anger towards.

The room shuddered slightly with Percy's influx of emotions. Poseidon waved it away, and it tapered down again.

"I'm pressing too much," he decided, and Percy wanted so badly to roll his eyes. "I am at fault," he added. Ha. Yeah, right. "I admitted that before. I didn't just say it to ease your anger with me - though I see it is still clearly there," he added. Percy glanced up. He had done such a good job getting along with him recently. Those days might be over. "And it is a struggle to figure out how to proceed now…" he added, looking pointedly at Percy. When he didn't answer, Poseidon sighed again. "I need you to help with that."

Oh. Well. Huh.

"How so?" he asked and Poseidon extended a hand to the side. 

"By giving your opinion?"

Ooh, he wanted to be difficult, but Percy could be just as difficult back.

"Really? You haven't asked."

Poseidon looked like he wanted to smack him.

"...Perseus, can I have your opinion?" he drawled out, almost sarcastically. Percy couldn't help but grin a little at that. "If his majesty would be so kind to be amendable-"

"Now you're just making fun of me."

"Believe it or not, my patience with you is not endless."

"Alright, sorry," Percy chuckled and wrinkled his nose. "You're going to hate me for saying this, but I'm not really sure what I want from you," he admitted. They had passed the point where Percy had needed his dream father to come to rescue him and zap away his problems. Poseidon shrugged.

"Well, eliminating may be easier. I don't think you want immortality from me," he reasoned. Percy smiled and shook his head. "Nor for me to be…. distant?" he asked, watching carefully.

Percy gave a nod of approval. Then backtracked.

"Wait. What would your version of being involved be?" he asked suspiciously. The last thing he needed was his father showing up on date night with Annabeth. Poseidon stared at him blankly.

"You call, I come?"

"....yes. That's good," Percy nodded. "And maybe don't use the weird book," he added. Poseidon glanced down at the book and frowned.

"No, I'll keep that."

"But if you have anything you want to know, you should ask me. Not the magic book," he said. Poseidon looked like he was fighting very hard not to revert into god-mode and snap at him for having the audacity to speak against him.

"And if you do not want to speak of things?"

"You just don't get to know," Percy shrugged. Poseidon looked at him for a long time. "...Dad?" he asked after over a minute had passed.

"I just don't get to know?" he finally repeated. Percy almost laughed. Had nothing been off-limits to him before? He thought about his first proposal to Amphitrite and bit back a smirk. He forgot who exactly he was talking to. "I disagree."

"Mom doesn't have a magic book."

"She sees you constantly."

"And now, so do you."

"....I should just give this to her," Poseidon muttered, "You wouldn't dare take it then."

That was actually a little true. Percy tried not to react. He didn't want to risk that happening.

"What is in there you want to know about so badly?" Percy snorted, "It doesn't tell the future, does it?" he asked. Poseidon shook his head. "Then why are you - oh," he cut himself off. "It's Tartarus, isn't it?" he asked. Poseidon hesitated.

"Aside from you and the other two… no demigods have survived such an ordeal," he said quietly. Percy bit his lip. "I know none of it is something you are willing to speak of-"

"I'll tell you," he interrupted. Poseidon paused. "I mean, you've… you've been there too, right? I remember there being a myth about that…" he trailed off and watched as a slow nod came. Relief touched his chest. "So, you know kind of how… it is, right? You would maybe understand?" he asked.

Percy twisted a little in his seat as Poseidon's face softened.

"To an extent," he said, "It was different for me, but I can try… if you wish to speak of it," he added. Percy considered.

"There aren't many people I can talk about it with," he admitted and ran a hand over his face. "I mean, Nico and Annabeth, sure, but I don't… I mean, it's hard for the three of us. If we all aren't in the right headspace, then it can trigger something, and it ends up making things worse for the other two," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I would tell mom, but… it wouldn't be easy for her to hear about me going through that," he said and tapped his fingers on his knee. Poseidon frowned.

"....I wouldn't exactly be unaffected myself," he added, sounding more offended than Percy had ever heard him. Not in the upset godly-pride injured way either. More of a… normal, mortal way. Like when your best friend said they didn't have any friends type of situation. Percy's lips quirked slightly.

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not heartless."

"So I shouldn't tell you?"

"...you vex in a way no other child has dared to," he said distastefully. Percy laughed. "If you are comfortable, I would like to know what happened," he said and pointedly snapped his fingers, so the book disappeared. "And no more spying unless warranted," he added. Percy opened his mouth to demand what 'warranted' meant and decided he would rather just save it for a later date. He sunk into his chair, taking a long breath.

"It doesn't have to be tonight, does it?" he asked. Poseidon shrugged.

"Whenever you want," he said, and Percy raised an eyebrow. He supposed they would really have to test their new 'you call, I come' rule. He had doubts it would actually work, but still worth the attempt. Percy looked up at him.

"Can I ask you something?" A guarded expression touched Poseidon's eyes. "Did you… know when I fell?" he asked carefully. "I mean, I know you said you were struggling with Neptune, but I-"

"I knew when it happened," Poseidon cut him off. Tension filled the air. "I didn't quite know what was happening, but I knew… it was something," he said, voice growing a little too even. "It was like…" he trailed off, frowning a little as he searched for the words. "Like feeling a sudden part of myself disappear into something cold enough to burn," he decided. A very specific description, but Percy didn't interrupt. "I knew it was bad, so I tried to reach for whatever it was, but there was...nothing."

"When did you realize it was me?"

Poseidon winced.

"Ah," he began and tightened his hold on the arms of his chair. "Well, my mind was beginning to calm, and I heard… screaming," he said. "It was around then that I realized what had truly happened," he said and shook his head. "I did not react as well as I should," he added darkly. That didn't sound good. Percy looked at him suspiciously.

"What do you mean?"

"You would have never forgiven me," Poseidon said, and when Percy only stared, sighed. "I am not always a docile deity, Perseus. If Zeus hadn't intervened… I would have killed them all for letting it happen."

Them all? Who was he-?

Percy's blood went cold.

"You mean… my friends," he said carefully. Poseidon grimaced. "It wasn't their fault!"

"Perhaps not, but it didn't much matter to me at the time," Poseidon told him. Percy felt his own anger boil, and the ground shook again. Poseidon fixed him with an irritated look and steadied them once more. "Obviously, I didn't harm them-"

"But you would have?"

"It was either that or sending California into the ocean," he said simply, and Percy's mouth fell open. "To which I obviously did not do either," he added hastily - as if Percy somehow didn't know California was very much still doing fine.

"What stopped you then?" he asked, fighting not to be upset. Poseidon rubbed his temple.

"Zeus came. He called for Neptune to come back. My sides started fighting once more. It distracted me. By the time I combined again, I had no idea where they were, and I felt your presence was nearing the Doors of Death," he said simply. Percy clenched his fists by his sides.

"I owe Zeus my gratitude, then," Percy muttered, "If you ever…" he began, not knowing how to phrase his threat. Poseidon looked too tired to be upset. Maybe immortals did sleep after all… or Percy was incredibly taxing.

"I'm aware of how upset you would have been," he answered and curled his lip. "It would have been a… mistake. And to my credit, I resisted with the Athena girl," he added. Percy tensed.

"What do you mean?"

Poseidon looked at him. Percy looked back. Three… two… one….

"You cannot seriously blame Annabeth!" he spluttered and sat up. "If anything, it is more my fault than hers! I could have gone with Nico and never fallen in. I made that choice. You absolutely have no business blami-"

"Perseus!" Poseidon interrupted loudly. Percy seethed. He was standing now- when had that happened? It felt as though anger had made his mind blank out for a second, and…oh. He looked around, bewildered to find the entire room cracked in half. Shelves were knocked over, the fire out, walls blown out - ruined. Poseidon grimaced.

"That was me, wasn't it?" Percy asked, swallowing. Poseidon stood up and grabbed his trident, slamming it into the ground so that the room righted itself. He fixed Percy with a long look.

"She is fine," he said, "I didn't hurt her. I won't hurt her. If the mere thought of her being injured upsets you this much, how can you expect to stay in control?" he asked, frustrated. Percy sat back down, eyes falling to his feet.

"It wasn't her fault," he said quietly. He risked a glance up to see Poseidon putting his trident back down and moving in front of him. "If she had fallen without me… I might have ended the world right then," he said. It wasn't even an exaggeration. If that ailment came from trauma…

"Surely, it could not have been worse than Tartarus."

"I had Annabeth in Tartarus."

Poseidon stared at him - looking more troubled than Percy had seen him. Finally, he nodded and placed a hand on Percy's knee.

"Okay," he said and squeezed. For whatever reason, Percy relaxed at the gesture. He wasn't sure what about it felt so reassuring. "Nobody is going to be hurt," he told him. Percy knew that wasn't something that anyone could promise but decided to believe him anyway. "You are too much like me, sometimes."

"Don't say that. It's hurtful."

Poseidon snorted and lightly shoved Percy's head to the side.

"Don't worry, you're mostly your mother's son," he said and stood up. "We should hurry and leave. Amphitrite and Rhode will be here soon to investigate what happened. Trust me, you don't want them involved."

"Why not?" Percy asked as he got up. Poseidon grimaced.

"You've discussed your emotions with Triton and Kym, correct?" he asked. Percy nodded. "But not Rhode or Amphitrite?" he asked. Percy nodded again. Poseidon put a hand to his chin in deep thought. "The last time I ended up having an emotional discussion with them, they both got me to talk until I lost my voice."

"Is that even possible?"

"Not until that day," Poseidon said solemnly, and that was honestly good enough for him. He quickly moved to the doorway before pausing again. Poseidon tilted his head. "Are you tired yet?" he asked. Percy shrugged. "I could put you to sleep," he said and then jerked his head towards the window. "Or we can visit Atalanta," he added. "I don't believe I've met her officially yet."

Oh, right. Percy hadn't thought of that. Atalanta probably should know her grandfather.

"Atalanta," he decided and went to open the door. "Um, but Dad?" he said, hand-squeezed the handle. "I… you can't…" he began and shook his head. "You can't hurt them. You can't. You can't even think about it. I-"

"I won't hurt them," Poseidon said, and doubt played at Percy's features. "That day was one of the worst things to happen to me in… many years," he said evenly. "I got blinded, and, well, perhaps you are not the only one with issues of control," he admitted. Percy wanted to chuckle at that, but the fear was still in his chest. "You have my word," Poseidon added.

...and for whatever reason, Percy believed him.

"Okay," he smiled, and there was a shout from somewhere in the castle. "We should run… or maybe pin it on Triton," he added thoughtfully. Poseidon glanced at him.

"I cannot condone that," he said and then looked down the hall where Rhode was rushing over. "...but if you say it was him, and I don't hear it, then it's fine," he decided.

"You know, that's why he thinks you don't like him."

"How so? Usually, I blame things on you."

"You - wait, are you serious?" Percy asked, and Poseidon did that thing where Percy could never tell if he was kidding or not. "Stop, you did this when I was sixteen and said you could go claim the rest of you children - I still don't know if that was a joke, by the way."

"Oh, that's what I've forgotten to do-"

"I hate your sense of humor."

Chapter Text

Percy truly, sincerely, completely, utterly, and wholeheartedly hated Hera.

Like, at least with the titans, they always conveniently waited for his winter or summer breaks to cause problems. Hera had no such qualms and chucked him out of school for an entire year. And, yes, technically, he graduated from high school (not Goode, but still), but New Rome was being a little finicky about his credits.

Yes. Yes, New Rome. Percy wasn't normally the type of person to be like, 'do you know who I am' when it came to these things, but he was the tiniest bit indignant that he missed certain credits to - you know - stop the world from ending, and they had the nerve to tell him he needed a high school biology class before starting his university biology course.

Whatever. He had tried to see about opting out of biology altogether (after all, he had been attending New Rome for an entire year now, and he knew there were plenty of other classes to take), but that was met with some grumbling.

In the end, Percy just decided to suck it up and take a mortal night class to get it out of the way. It truly wasn't the worst thing. New Rome had the most amazing resources as it was. You could bring books to the library and have them magically translated into Latin or Greek, and the biology professors at New Rome were sympathetic enough to answer any questions that his mortal teacher didn't feel like answering.

The problem was… and this was really a small thing, but… well, there were a couple kids (well, one really) who hated his guts. And, listen, there were a plethora of people in that class. Older adults who wanted their GED, young geniuses who were bored with their current curriculum, kids who had flunked out of school, some who had missed school for various reasons, and so forth.

However, there was that one asshole… that one who just decided he wanted to annoy Percy to death. Percy wasn't even sure why he was there. It was just some mortal punk who was maybe around his age and had a shitty left hook.

Percy was pretty whatever about the 'no hurting mortals rule' generally. There were sometimes mortals like Gabe who just needed to go. However, this guy was only bothering Percy, so there wasn't much need to do anything about it. Percy had dealt with bullies all his life (mortal and immortal alike). This wasn't anything new. Just… annoying. And inconvenient given that he had a small army of people he had to keep from overreacting.

"It's a bad sign that you're hiding it," Frank told him dryly as Percy dabbed some concealer over a bruise on his jaw.

"Have you met my girlfriend?" Percy asked, tapping it in. "Look, I love her, and she means well, but she would hunt this guy down, and he's just a mortal with an attitude problem," he said as Frank watched him from the bed. Percy's dorm was a mess, but Frank hardly seemed to bat an eye at it as he watched him work.

"You wouldn't be saying that if the roles were reversed."

Percy bristled.

"I hate it when you guys say stuff like that," he muttered. Frank didn't seem too repentant as he fixed his praetor robes and snagged some of Percy's coffee from his desk.

"I just think this could be fixed really quickly if you weren't being stubborn about it," Frank told him and took a sip of coffee. "You could at least punch him back," he said. Percy fixed him with an irritated look and grabbed a fresh shirt to put over his head. He should probably grab some ambrosia later. That would be much faster… but then he would have to go to the MedBay… and if he went to the MedBay, people were going to ask why and then Hazel might find out, and if Hazel found out, then Annabeth was finding out and-

Ugh.

"I made it through Tartarus. I think I can take a couple punches."

Frank stared him down, and Percy knew he was about one comment away from a lecture.

"Do you have any ambrosia?" he asked before Frank decided to voice any opinions.

"No," he said and shook his head. "Don't you know literal gods who could get that for you? Like, isn't your brother on speed dial?" he asked. Percy wrinkled his nose. He actually hadn't thought of that. Triton did eat the stuff like granola bars. He might whine about getting Percy some, but eventually, he would relent after a good hour or so.

"You're amazing," Percy decided, and Frank snorted as he got up and lightly flicked the back of Percy's head.

"Please take care of this. I won't tell, but I can throw a punch, too," Frank said, which was decidedly the most non-Frank thing ever to leave his mouth (even if it was true). Percy stuck his tongue out and snatched up a clean t-shirt. Whatever. He had this under control. The door opened, and Percy glanced over to find his roommate frozen as he eyed Frank warily.

"...praetor," he greeted, bowing his head. Frank waved.

"Hi, Norman," he said as he moved out of the room. Norman smiled a little before slowly shutting the door and turning to Percy.

"Important people showing up in our room is just something I should get used to, huh?" he asked, tossing his backpack down. Percy laughed.

"Come on. It isn't that bad-"

"Annabeth Chase, Praetor Levesque, and Lieutenant Grace have all appeared within the last week," Norman listed off, and Percy bit his lip. Yeah, he often forgot in the grand scheme of his things… his friends were, uh, kind of big deals. "Not to mention-"

"I'll work on that," Percy interrupted and picked up his history textbook. "I have to go to class, but I'll talked to them about knocking, okay?" he asked, and Norman rolled his eyes as Percy skipped out of the room.

The rest of the day went by fairly normal. He ended up praying to Triton right after class before grabbing lunch with some classmates and heading back to the dorm. He had barely gotten the door open when Norman greeted him with an exasperated scowl.

"...you have a visitor," he muttered and pointed to where Triton was sitting on Percy's bed, reading one of his textbooks with heavy disapproval on his features. Ah. "It isn't that bad," he mimicked under his breath as he stepped back and grabbed his backpack to stomp out of the room. "I come home to find a god eating my Cheetos," he muttered his breath, and Percy snorted and murmured apologies. When the door shut, he turned to fix Triton with a long look.

"Why are you eating my roommate's food?"

"Entirely your fault," Triton said without looking up. "You were the one who made me try Cheetos," he said and glanced up. "Why do you need ambrosia? I stopped by the MedBay to help them refill, and they had plenty," he said. Percy winced. He should have considered that Triton might just assume the camp was out.

"Uh, I didn't want to go there," he admitted and grabbed a washcloth to run under the sink. "My friends worry easily, so I didn't want them to freak out over nothing," he explained and wiped away some of the concealer. Triton glanced up and then paused.

"You're hurt?" he asked, confused. "I mean, they must be used to that by now," he said and then frowned as continued thinkig out loud. "But you live in New Rome. There aren't any monsters here."

"I have to take that mortal class, remember?" he said, wiping away some of the concealer’s residue. Triton rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers so ambrosia appeared on the desk. He didn’t bother to ask why Percy hadn’t healed himself with water. Given that Percy’s powers were on the constant precipice of exploding, he had worked hard to reel in even his most natural inclinations while at school - unless someone like Rhode or Triton was with him to help something potentially going wrong. 

"Hm. You know, Dad could make it so that you don't need to take that class-"

"I'm not going to have my dad complain to the school."

"You're so annoying," Triton told him, almost sounding impressed. "It isn't- hey," he interrupted himself, and Percy turned to see him hopping down from the bed. "How many monsters did you run into?" he asked, noticing another bruise on Percy's arm. Oh. Yeah, he forgot about that one from last week. Percy sighed.

"It isn't a monster. It's a mortal in my class," he said. Triton blinked.

"A… mortal…? That did all of that?"

"Well, yeah, we meet a couple times a week for class, so afterward he-"

"What kind of mortal can cause that much damage?" Triton asked, bewildered. Percy felt a glimmer of annoyance as he went to grab the ambrosia. Triton snapped his fingers again, and they disappeared. Well then. He glared at him.

"I'm not going to fight a mortal."

"So you're letting this happen?"

"Come on," Percy groaned and crossed his arms over his chest. "You too? I should remind you that you have punched me. I get punched all the time. Very punchable face," he said, and Triton said something under his breath before pushing Percy's face to the side so he could poke at the bruise.

"You're an idiot. You can't keep letting this happen. Or have you forgotten you're a walking bomb?"

"Flattering," Percy said and shoved his hands away. "Are you giving me the ambrosia or not?"

Triton looked at him through narrowed eyes before shaking his head. Dick.

"I don't want to be part of whatever this is," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You haven't told anyone, you haven't fought back - have you asked to change classes?" he asked, and Percy closed his eyes with a sigh. "That's a no," he said, and Percy briefly considered falling onto his bed and screaming.

"I just want to get the credits without the hassle-"

"Getting beat up sounds a little bit like a hassle."

"What are you? My mother?" Percy asked, throwing up a hand. He hadn't anticipated this from Triton of all people… though maybe he should have. His brother seemed to relish in calling him out. Sure enough, Triton's brows raised, and Percy got the feeling he wasn't going to like whatever followed.

"I feel like this probably ties into your self-worth."

There it was.

"You are not a therapist," Percy snapped, and Triton threw up his hands.

"I hate you. Why do you do this?" he asked, pinching his nose. Percy sneered back.

"Be careful. You're going to hurt my precious self-worth."

"I'm telling Dad."

"You're-? No! No, no, no," Percy said and slid in front of him. "That is not happening. What would you even say? A mortal is picking on me? Come on that sounds ridiculous," he said. Triton shrugged. "Dude, you cannot go and tell an all-powerful god that I'm getting beaten up."

"Then I recommend telling your friends so they can deal with this."

Percy would strangle him if he could.

"This is my issue. I'll deal with it."

"You prayed to me!" Triton said, and Percy groaned. Yep. That was the problem, wasn't it? "I'm telling Dad," he decided, and Percy grabbed his arm.

"You tell Dad, and I'll tell him about the time you lost your conch!"

Triton whirled around.

"What are you? Five?"

"You're the one trying to tell on me!"

"Tell on-? I am not! I am trying to keep you from getting beat up!" Triton said and slapped his hand off of him. Percy scowled back. Why did nobody seem to be on the same page on this? Triton took a long breath. "Perseus, look," he said in what would have been a reasonable voice if he wasn't about to say nonsense. "If the situations were reve-"

"No! Don't finish that!" Percy said, and he didn't stomp his foot because he wasn't a child, but damnit, he remembered the temptation it presented as a toddler. "Everyone always says that, and it is a sucky argument," he told him. Triton rolled his eyes. "Come on. I trusted you not to be a jerk about this."

"You trusted me to say, 'okay, Percy! Here's some ambrosia so you can continue to be a human punching bag and maybe have a bad day and accidentally blow up and end the world'?! You know this is why everyone wanted you immortal. You have no idea how to set boundaries."

"You're pissing me off more than this mortal ever has," Percy fumed, but he did feel his resolve breakdown a little. Triton was really the worst person to argue with. He scowled at the ground before sighing. "Fine," he muttered, and Triton raised an eyebrow. "I'll switch classes or something."

There was a beat of silence.

"...wait," Triton frowned and blinked. "Say that again."

"You're so immature."

"No, I'm legitimately caught off-guard," Triton told him and raised both hands. "You… Perseus Jackson… are… agreeing to something I suggested?"

"Oh, was that a suggestion? Because it sounded a lot like whining to me," Percy grumbled, and Triton rolled his eyes before snapping his fingers. The ambrosia came back, and Percy snatched it before he could take it again. Bitterly, he took a bite and tried to enjoy the taste of his mother's cookies. "I do have to go tonight, though," he warned him. "I can ask the teacher to switch me afterward," he said. Triton shrugged.

"I literally do not care."

"Then why did you just-? Leave me alone," Percy said and shoved him towards the door. "Go back to Atlantis and harass someone else. Go away. Bye. I'm praying to Rhode next time," he said, and Triton laughed in his face. "I'm praying to Kym next time," he rectified, and Triton laughed harder.

"You do that and tell me how it goes."

Percy slammed the door in his face. Jerk. Part of him felt a little bad… it had been a while since they had seen one another. He had actually wanted to talk about other things as well before Triton started annoying him. He cracked the door open again, but nobody was there.

...nevermind then. He sighed and shut the door. Maybe he was right. Not that Percy would ever in a million years admit that, but maybe. Was it really that big of a deal to move things around? Especially if the outcome was not coming home with bruises and spending money on concealer? He pressed his head on the door. Maybe he needed to reevaluate some of his priorities.

A knock came again, and Percy flung open the door, hoping that Triton had maybe come back, but instead, it was Norman who was there with an armful of books.

"Hi," he said and looked over Percy's shoulder. "Are there any Cheetos left?"

When Percy finally did leave New Rome to get to the dingy high school classroom, he had figured he got his head on straight. He had even worked out what he was going to say when he stopped in the middle of an empty hall to look inside the window and inwardly scream.

Why?

Percy slowly opened the door to his classroom and sighed.

"Mr. Jackson," the teacher greeted, looking up from where she was erasing the board from whatever the last class had written to put up so she could write her lesson plan. "You're early," she said, and Percy forced a smile. He considered talking to her then, but was distracted by the cluster of students in the back.

"Ah! Look who it is!" Triton called brightly and fixed him with a terrifying smile. Percy narrowed his eyes. He was sitting beside Percy's very best mortal friend, who paused in his snickering to look at Triton in confusion. His brows furrowed as he looked at Percy and then back to Triton.

"Do you two know one another?" he asked, and Triton hummed. How in the name of Olympus did he know which mortal was the one bothering him? Percy warily set his books down and fixed him with a warning look.

"Unfortunately," Triton said and tilted his head. "Do you know my brother?" he asked. The mortal went white. Percy felt his askance rise. It wasn't too surprising that anyone would be scared of Triton given that he was… you know. A god. But why was he already panicking? He couldn't know what Triton was nor that he would be pissed with this guy for messing with Percy.

"Uh- well," the mortal began and licked his lips. His eyes fell to Percy a little desperately. "Um, I… you know… we're in the same class," he laughed nervously. Triton nodded, though his eyes didn't leave him. "Well, we were in the same class," he said, and Percy blinked. "I'm actually… I think I'm moving classes," he said and suddenly jolted up, ignoring the bewildered looks from other students.

"Oh, that's too bad," Triton said and waved. "Good luck! I hear switching classes can be a real hassle!" he called. Percy resisted the urge to kick him under the table. Instead, he leaned in.

"What did you do?"

"I made a friend!"

"Liar."

"I can't make friends?"

"You're not a friendly person."

"Nonsense. I'm a joy to be around," Triton whispered and raised his hand. "Mrs. Hanson? I don't have a textbook!" he called, and Percy stared at him.

"You're not staying-"

"I'm absolutely staying. This looks hilarious," Triton whispered as he jumped up to grab a textbook from the pile Mrs. Hanson gestured to. Percy ran a hand over his face, watching as the mortal from before gave Percy one last look before disappearing out of the doorway. Triton bounded back brightly.

"How did you-?"

"Humans are baffling," Triton told him and pointed to a page. "Look. Look at this. Your saliva is filtered from blood. Isn't that horrifying?" he asked brightly. Percy tried not to laugh at his joy. "And it can fill two Olympic size swimming pools by the time you die," he said and shook his head. "Disgusting. Humans are really just globs of squishy things, aren't they?" he asked and flipped a page.

"Triton," Percy said and poked his arm. "What did you do to Bryan?"

"Who is Bryan?"

"The mortal you just convinced to switch classes. Why was he so scared of you?" Percy asked. Triton gave a small 'ah' as he continued looking at the textbook. "You didn't hurt him, did you?" he asked, and Triton waved his hand.

"No, I knew you would be a baby about it if I did," he said. Percy waited. "Why is your small intestine so long?" he frowned and shook his head. "They should really rename that," he said, and Percy poked his arm again. "Fine. I might have mentioned that I came from a mafia family," he said, and Percy blinked.

"What?"

"Yeah, I came by and said I was looking to hire someone for a job since my family is this big, scary mafia-type group, and he seemed like a good person to maybe help me with a side hustle. Technically, it wasn't really a lie. We do sometimes do questionable things. Which reminds me, actually, don't try to find the basement underneath the castle, but-"

"How did you casually convince a bunch of random students in a classroom you just walked into that you were part of the mafia?"

"I'm a literal god. What more do you want from me?" Triton asked dryly and shrugged. "But, yeah, I figured once he realized you were also part of our little criminal family, then he would scatter. See? No violence. Just good old-fashioned terror," he said and flipped another page. "Look at this. The strongest muscle is supposedly the jaw muscle… this could be why you talk so much," he added. Percy snagged the book from him.

"I was going to take care of it."

Triton tugged the book back.

"Sure, but I took care of it first," he said, and his eyes flicked to the door. "And, for the record, I definitely thought about just burning his brains out. It was out of my very small amount of affection for you that I did not do that," he said. Percy smiled a little.

"Thank you."

"Hm," he said and then hesitated. Percy watched as his fingers tapped the table warily before speaking again. "And I'm… um, not sorry, but… is there a word that is not sorry, but kind of sorry?" he asked. Percy raised an eyebrow. "Nevermind. I'm… pleased… that you told me about this," he said slowly. Percy tilted his head. "And I know I probably irritated you with my… opinions - which are correct - but still," he said and lifted a hand. "I want you to continue telling me things because I can usually help," he said, and when Percy opened his mouth, held up a hand. "Most people would help, but you seem to be adverse to accepting it due to concern over various reactions. If it really bothers you that much, I promise I can be amenable," he said.

....aw. That was kind of nice.

"So," Percy said and smiled a little. "You would listen to me?"

"No. Never. I would hear what you want and take that into consideration."

"That's listening."

"No, I just said I wouldn't do that."

"It sounds like you're trying to compromise with me."

"Absolutely not. That involves listening. I would never listen to you," Triton said solemnly. Percy smiled, and Triton rolled his eyes. "But you have to actually let me help," he added, tone straying slightly more serious. "You put up with more than you should."

Percy sighed. Yeah… that was probably true.

"I can work on that," Percy said. Triton's eyes softened slightly before shoving him and turning back to where Mrs. Hanson was about to start teaching. "Are you going to stay?" he asked, and Triton looked at the board.

"I want to learn more about spleens. They sound fascinating," he decided, and Percy grinned.

Triton ended up joining him for the rest of his biology classes, which was... actually pretty fun. Not that Percy would tell him that. But... yeah. Bryan never returned either which was a bonus.

And Norman got a new bag of Cheetos, so really, it was a successful semester.

Chapter Text

“-irresponsible! Do you have any idea how worried I was? Do you even care?” Percy seethed as he paced back and forth in his mom’s apartment. He should be trying to calm himself. His temper was under constant scrutiny these days, but come on. He turned to where Triton was sitting on the couch with Estelle on his lap. “You can’t just steal my sister from pre-school!” he snapped.

Triton gave an indignant look. “I didn’t steal her. You’re being dramatic,” he said.

Dramatic. Him? He was dramatic? He had once seen his brother rampage about an argument he had with Kym over a thousand years ago. Percy was not the dramatic one.

Throwing up his hands, he pointed a finger at Triton’s nose. “I went to pick her up and found out someone pretended to be me and took her. What am I supposed to think, Triton?”

Triton sighed and looked down at where Estelle was trying to eat her hand. “Is he always like this?” he asked forlornly.

Estelle took her hand out of her mouth long enough to point at Percy. “Silly!” she declared.

Triton nodded solemnly. “The tiny mortal gets it,” he said. Gods. Percy threw up his hands again. “What? You’ve stolen two of my sisters. I have decided it is only fair that I steal yours.”

Estelle gave a gurgled noise of agreement, and Triton looked almost amused as he waved his hand, and a toy dropped into her lap.

Estelle gasped. “Mine?” she asked. Triton hummed, and Estelle gave a delighted laugh. Percy could not believe this.

“I thought you said you didn’t steal her,” he said bitterly.

Triton shrugged. “From that prison you force her to attend? No. From you? Yes. I have every intention of doing so. She is small and easily won over. It should be easy enough.”

The door jangled, and Percy spun around to see his mother walk through the door, tossing her keys onto the entryway table (they had an entryway table because they were fancy now). Percy reached over to grab one of the grocery bags she was carrying.

“Thank you, hon,” she said, blowing a piece of hair from her eyes. “Be careful there are eggs in that one.”

“Got it,” Percy said and shifted the bag to point to Triton. “Also, there’s a god here.”

Triton waved - though it was a bit cautious. Percy realized that this was the first time Triton was actually meeting his mother. He had expected it to be more theatrical than this, honestly. Because, you know, Triton was the dramatic one. Not Percy.

Nervously, he glanced between the pair as his mother hung her purse by the door and studied them all for a moment.

“You must be Triton,” she deduced. Percy bit his lip. Warily, he looked back at where Triton was studying her back. “I should thank you for bringing my son back to me alive with all of that Alaska drama.” Triton shrugged. “How did you find mortality?”

“Exhausting and depressing.”

His mother smiled. “Yeah, you get used to that if you’re mortal long enough,” she said, gesturing to the kitchen. “Would you like cookies?”

Percy gave a slightly indignant look - offended his mother had immediately accepted this random god in their home. Granted, he wanted them to get along, but he was getting a little nervous these two might team up against him.

“He pretended to be me and picked Estelle up from school,” Percy called after her as she disappeared into the kitchen. Estelle giggled at him. “Tell her, Estelle. Tell her how this meanie took you,” he whispered to her as he leaned forward to poke her stomach. She giggled again.

“Oh, that’s nice! Thank you, Triton!” his mother called.

Percy groaned. “Not in a good way!” he called back.

His mother reappeared with a plate. “My daughter is here and unharmed. My son is here and unharmed.” She held out the plate. “Sounds good to me,” she said.

Percy gave her a look of exasperation. “Triton, you cannot take my sister,” he repeated, hoping this time it might stick.

“Why not?” Kym asked, suddenly appearing with a gust of wind beside him. The pictures on the wall all blew off, glass shattering. “My bad,” she said, and nudged Triton. “Can you clean that up?”

“I-” Triton began indignantly, but paused when he looked at the cookie in his hand and then the direction his mother had gone. Snapping his mouth closed, he waved the mess away and righted the photos.

“So why can’t Triton hang out with Pocket-Sized Percy?” Kym asked.

“Pocket what?” Percy repeated, whirling around as Kym accidentally knocked over a lamp to stare at the baby. “Kym, come on. What are you doing here?” He reached over to grab Estelle, but she seemed far too fascinated with Kym’s hair to react.

“....yes, little mortal,” Kym whispered. “Worship me.”

“No,” Percy said, yanking Estelle away from the pair of gods. “Leave her alone.”

“Triton, make him not be boring,” Kym said, and waved when his mother entered the room. “Hi, Sally!”

“Hello, Kymopoleia,” his mother answered easily. “Would you like some mortal food?”

“Always!”

“Do you two know each other?” Percy demanded.

Kym shrugged, flicking a piece of hair over her shoulder. “Triton steals your sister. I steal your mom. It’s only fair.” When Percy stared at her, she smiled prettily. “Come on. Your mom seduced dad-”

“As if that’s hard to do,” Triton muttered.

“-raised a demigod kid on her own for twelve years and then killed her husband with a severed head. Then she sold his corpse to buy an apartment. Like, she’s my hero,” Kym said with a wistful sigh. “Sally, would you adopt me?” she called when his mother returned with more cookies and milk.

“Darling, I think your parents wouldn’t be too pleased with me if I did that,” she said, lightly stroking Kym’s hair as she passed.

Kym sniffed. “Hardly,” she grumbled.

“How did you even meet?” Percy demanded, trying to keep Estelle from reaching to where Triton was trying to coax her back into his arms by making shapes appear out of nearby water.

“Hm? Oh, I went to her book signing,” Kym said. “I went to get this originally.” She snapped her fingers. “Rhode said we should read it to better deal with you.”

A book with a sleek cover fell on the coffee table with a thud. Percy wanted to be offended (deal with him?), but he was far too bewildered. Shifting his grip on Estelle, he leaned down to read the title.

“Children of Emotionally Immature Parents,” Percy read off. “How to Heal with the Consequences of a Problematic Parent.” He looked up at where Triton and Kym both nodded. “...seriously?”

“Rhode said it might be helpful for you,” Kym shrugged and tilted her head. “I’m not sure you count as a child by mortal standards, though… do you think there’s a teenager one that would be more helpful for us?”

Triton pulled the book back from Percy’s hands and flipped through the pages. “Do you feel like you’ve lost touch with your true self to take on a family role?” he asked her.

Kym wrinkled her nose. “...I don’t know. Do you?”

“Yes,” Triton said before she had even finished the question. He flipped through a few more pages. “There’s something called unmet needs. What are-? Oh,” he frowned. After flipping through a few more pages, he nodded. “I have unmet needs.” Percy had no idea what to even make of this. “Mortals are perceptive,” he mused and then looked at Percy with consideration. “Do you have unmet needs?” he asked and waved a hand before Percy could answer. “Of course you do.” Percy spluttered a bit. “I think I like this book,” he added and then snapped his fingers so a second version of himself appeared and continued reading while the first version of himself kept on with the conversation. “Anyways.”

“Tri!” Estelle said loudly, banging against Percy’s arm. “Play!”

“Don’t be a traitor,” Percy whispered desperately, but Triton had already materialized next to him to steal the baby.

“I will gladly play, tiny mortal,” he said, voice erring on the side of stoic. “We can’t have you growing up with unmet needs.”

“There will be no unmet needs in this household,” Paul called, lifting his cup of coffee as he meandered into the kitchen. “God. Goddess. Welcome to our home.”

“Mortal,” Kym and Triton returned.

“Is Rhode stopping by as well? She said she would help me grade papers.”

“She did what now?” Percy asked, throwing up his hands (he was doing that a lot these days). “Rhode, too?!”

“That’s what happens when you have unmet needs from an emotionally distant parent,” Triton said, letting Estelle bite his fingers. “Can mortals eat godly flesh?” he asked with interest.

Percy made a noise not too dissimilar to a dying whale and grabbed Estelle back.

“Paul, please do not allow yourself to be adopted by a sea goddess,” Percy shouted as Paul refilled his coffee. “Trust me. They’re nothing but trouble.”

“I think one could argue I got you out of trouble,” Triton said lazily, slouching on the couch. He snapped his fingers, and a binky appeared in Estelle’s mouth to keep her from chewing on him. “Kym? Thoughts?”

“I kept you from blowing up the world. You’re welcome. Sally? Thoughts?”

“They’re all very sweet, hon,” his mother said, eyes shining with a bit of mischief in her eyes as she kissed Paul on the cheek when he passed. “Paul? Thoughts?”

“I don’t see how Rhode could be considered trouble. Rhode? Thoughts?”

“I think there was a whole trial on how you were a problem, Perseus,” Rhode’s voice said. Percy decided to give up and collapsed on the couch. Estelle continued sucking on her binky as she poked Percy’s chin. “Hello, Paul. Apologies for being late. I was freeing a baby whale off the coast of Greenland. You know how it is.”

Paul fixed her with a long look and sipped his coffee. “I watched a high-school student shove three jelly beans up his nose this morning. We are not the same.”

Rhode blinked, and Percy knew she was trying to decipher the mortal words only to give up halfway through. Shrugging, she gave a stoic nod before noticing Estelle squirming in Percy’s arms. “Ah, hello, Miss. Blofis. I don’t believe we have been acquainted yet,” she said and walked over to kiss Estelle’s hand.

Estelle froze - eyes widening as the binky fell from her mouth.

“Percy says we can’t play with her,” Kym informed her dryly. “Apparently, since we have unmet needs, we’re terrible or something.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Hey,” Triton said, and the second version of himself disappeared so that the Triton with the book remained. “Help me figure this out. Is dad an emotional, driven, passive, or rejecting parent?” he asked, reading a few lines.

Kym peered over his shoulder to squint at the book. “Withdrawn, dismissive and derogatory,” she read out. “That’s Poseidon, alright. Definitely a rejecting parent.”

“Really? I was going to say an emotional parent,” Rhode mused, plucking the book from Triton’s hand. “Instills feelings of instability and anxiety.” She raised a brow and looked around. “I love our father, but the shipwrecks and temper tantrums can be…” She clicked her tongue. “Off-putting.”

“You’re both wrong,” Triton said, tugging the book back. “A driven parent is busy trying to perfect everything and everyone.” He made a face. “That’s the one.”

“I don’t know what passive parent means, but that’s my vote,” Percy said.

A rumble went through the sky.

“Sorry,” they all said at once.

Estelle wiggled again, and Percy finally let her down with a sigh. She clapped her hands a few times before waddling back to Triton and giving him a dopey grin.

“Play?” she asked sweetly, swinging her arms around.

Triton gave a long-suffering sigh. “I am afraid not, child. Your brother is, as they say, a bummer.”

Percy threw a pillow at him as Kym decided to use the opportunity to take Estelle for herself, whispering something about worship. Percy would have been far more concerned if Rhode hadn’t immediately taken his sister from Kym’s arms and moved into the kitchen with Paul and his mother.

“I’m just going to say it,” Percy told them all dryly. “Three gods in one apartment is too many.”

“At least we’re in agreement there,” someone else answered. Percy’s hand lurched to Riptide, ready to face down whatever monster was brave enough to attack when Triton snorted. Kym jumped - eyes widening as she fixed her hair, nervously shifting as she looked at the armchair where a girl sat, her boots propped up on the coffee table. “Dad says he wants all his godly children home, by the way.”

Wait.

Percy didn’t lower his sword, but he did pause to study the stranger. She looked around Triton’s age (whatever that meant) with ripped black tights underneath shorts. Under a flannel shirt was a t-shirt with Atlantean that might have translated to some cuss words that Triton refused to teach him. She smiled coyly, dragging down circle-shaped sunglasses to reveal the same eyes Percy and Triton shared.

“Perseus,” she greeted. “A pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, unfortunately.” Her chin moved up to where Paul and his mother both re-entered the room to give curious looks. Pursing lips doused in dark lipstick together, the stranger waved. Her fingers had chipped nail polish on them.

“I thought you weren’t talking to us,” Kym said, sniffing indignantly as she looked dramatically away from the newcomer. “Didn’t you say you hated us all and didn’t ever want to speak to us again?”

The girl raised an eyebrow. “Perseus, please tell Kymopoleia that I was not addressing her.”

“Uh…” Percy looked around. Rhode was rubbing her temple, eyes closed as she took measured breaths. He had never been sure if breathing exercises were actually helpful for immortal beings or if they mimicked the body language for his benefit. Either way, she seemed exhausted.

“Leave him alone,” Triton interjected. The girl flipped him off, and Rhode covered Estelle’s eyes. “And Dad didn’t send you. You haven’t talked to him in almost five hundred years.”

“And you haven’t stopped talking about him in almost five hundred years,” the girl threw back. “At least one of us tackled the daddy issues head on.” She looked pointedly at the book in Triton’s hands.

“Ooh,” Kym said, snapping her fingers. “Nah, she got you, Triton. Point to Benni.”

Triton leveled her with an incredulous look, but Percy was left to gawk. Benni. As in… Benthesikyme? Triton’s twin? He had heard of her briefly, but nobody had ever gone into much detail despite Percy’s incessant needling.

Estelle clapped. “Bravo!” she said, probably following along with Kym’s snapping.

Benni blew her kiss. Her hair was the same black as Triton’s but with streaks of green that matched her green beanie.

“Thank you, little one. Aren’t you sweet?”

“No,” Triton said. “She’s my mortal to steal.”

“Hi!”

“Estelle, no,” Triton whispered to her. Estelle frowned, looking taken aback that she wasn’t allowed to win over newcomer with her toddler charm.

“Hi,” she said more fiercely. Benni snorted, ignoring Triton gaping at Estelle in utter betrayal.

“Hello, Benni,” his mother said, looking unfazed by the tension that entered the room. “Are you staying long? I can get you something to eat if you’d like.”

Percy readied himself for an insult. Based on the expressions of everyone in the room, Benni might not be the sweetest of the bunch - and Percy knew he would blow up the world if his mother was not treated right.

But Benni only smiled. “No, thank you. Mortal food isn’t quite my thing. Besides, I just came to relay my father’s orders that all of his godly children should return to Atlantis.”

“You haven’t spoken to father,” Triton repeated, annoyed. “Stop lying.”

Benni turned to Percy. “Do you hear something? It sounds a bit like a dying whale?”

“Don’t be like that, Ben,” Rhode sighed. Estelle tapped her arm to be let down. When her feet touched the ground, she moved to hug Benni, but Triton grabbed her before she got close. “It’s an unbecoming attitude.”

“Ew, don’t be annoying,” Benni groaned. “Literally, just come home. Mom came to the Mariana Trench to bug me about this. That’s my sacred space.”

“Told you she didn’t talk to Dad,” Triton muttered. Estelle yanked at his hair, but he ignored her. “And congrats on your sacred space being the worst part of the ocean.”

“Congrats on spending your day kidnapping a baby,” Benni shot back. “You still have mortality on your cheek by the way.” Triton sneered at her. “Idiot.” She stood up, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Nice to meet you, Perseus. Try not to let them rot your brain. I support you blowing up the world.”

“Hey!” Kym jumped in, frowning. “I also supported him blowing up the world! Right? Triton, I said it was okay, right?” Benni looked at her. “I told him it was fine. Perseus, tell her I said it was-”

“Whatever. I have a thing to go to. Goodbye, Perseus.” She looked up at Sally and Paul. “Mortals. Little mortal.”

She snapped her fingers and was gone.

A second went by before Kym gave a wail of despair, putting a hole in the wall as she did so. Rhode snapped her fingers to fix it as Triton moved Estelle off his lap, turning her around to look her in the eye.

“I can’t believe you would betray me like that after I freed you from Busy Bees and ABCs Pre-School,” he told her. Estelle stuck out her tongue. “Unacceptable.”

Kym began blubbering incoherently. “She’ll never think I’m cool-”

“You’re not,” Triton interrupted helpfully, putting Estelle down. Kym gave a pathetic sniff into her arms. “Kymopoleia, she lives in the emptiest part of the ocean and hates us. Why would she be cool?”

“I want to be her! Why does she hate me? I didn’t do anything! If she would just let me hang out with her-”

“You can hang out with us,” Rhode said consolingly.

Kym cried harder. “You and Triton are lame,” she sobbed. “I don’t want to hang out with you.”

“You might have more unmet needs than me,” Triton said dryly, standing up. “We probably should get back. Father might not have actually sent Benni, but I’m sure he’s fickle all the same.” He turned to look down at where Estelle dumped some of her toys on the ground. “Lady Estelle, I will see you at pre-school tomorrow. I expect you to have more loyalty by then. If we are to annoy Perseus, you cannot continue behaving so frivolously.”

“I- no,” Percy interjected, head spinning as he tried to process this all. “Why does Benni hate you? And you’re not picking Estelle up-”

“Buh-bye!” Estelle called. Triton solemnly bowed to her before turning to flip Percy off and disappearing. Wow.

“Kymopoleia, please,” Rhode said, handing Paul some graded papers. Percy didn’t even bother to ask when she had done that. Paul merely held the papers to the sky as if sacrificing the work to her. “She’ll calm down in a millennia or so. Don’t let it get to you.”

“Snack?” Estelle asked, tottering over to Kym. She patted Kym’s head. “It’s okay. I get snack.”

Kym blinked a few times, wiping wayward tears away. “Yes, Pocket-Sized Percy,” she whispered. “Give me offerings.”

Estelle waddled over to their mother, babbling about snacks and pointing over at Kym.

“Um, are you okay?” Percy asked, setting Riptide aside. He wasn’t sure what to make of all this. He knew his immortal family had, uh, issues but the mystery sister randomly showing up and starting beef was not on his BINGO card for this month.

Kym only shrugged as an answer, accepting some crackers from Estelle, who climbed on the couch to give her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“All better,” she declared.

Kym sniffed again. “Thank you, Pocket-Sized Percy. You are my favorite worshiper.”

Estelle beamed. “Okay!”

“What was that whole thing?” Percy asked, hoping to get some semblance of an answer from someone. “Triton never said Benni was… like that.”

“You mean amazing?” Kym sighed, putting her chin in her hand. “I’m glad at least one of my heroes like me,” she added with a wistful look in the direction his mother had gone. “It’s fine. The whole thing is a long story, and I need to go home.”

Well, then. Percy wanted to argue, but Kym had already poofed out, leaving the apartment in disarray. Rhode joined her moments later, cleaning things up as she went.

Silence followed.

“Such good kids,” his mother finally said. Paul nodded. “And so sweet of Triton to pick up Estelle!”

Percy sighed, leaning over to where his sister was playing with blocks. She grinned when she saw him, making a face so that he ruffled her hair.

“You better not ditch me for Triton,” he whispered. Estelle said something unintelligible in return. “Come on.” He picked up the book Rhode had left on the coffee table. “Let’s play before you end up having unmet needs too.”

Chapter Text

The whole thing was horrifically embarrassing.

And, to be quite frank, it was Triton’s fault. Percy would die on this hill. His so-called brother hadn’t spoken to him in three months. Three! They were supposed to be in regular contact or whatever given, you know, Percy’s condition.

And, because of that, Percy had kind of organized certain aspects of his life around the fact that Triton would…. You know. Be around.

So when he wasn’t? Well, Percy was concerned. He prayed. Nothing. He gave offerings. Not even a thank you. He IM’d. He got put through to Triton’s assistant. Because what? Triton had an assistant to take IMs for him now? That was weird. That was stupid.

Look. Percy was used to gods ignoring him. But he was also accustomed to not being able to do anything about that. The thing was, in his recent state with all his new powers, he could just pop by Atlantis and demand to know what was going on.

So he did that. Sort of.

Now, Percy wasn’t always the best with water traveling. He typically did so under the supervision of one of his godly relatives, or someone who knew what he was doing was nearby.

Not this time. He had walked out of his dorm, down to the beach, stepped into the water, and willed himself to Atlantis without telling a soul.

This was where the trouble began.

Percy didn’t go to Atlantis. He ended up somewhere else entirely, which was fine because he could just try again. Except that was a cool-looking shipwreck. Percy wanted to explore that shipwreck. Frederick would actually love some artifacts from old warships. He could take a look around. And– oh, he had never even seen that kind of fish before. What was its name? Hi, little guy, what kind of– he had friends! Hi, friends!

Growing up, Percy had adults tell him that he'd outgrow ADHD. Liars.

All in all, he had apparently been roaming the sea for the better half of a day when he was unceremoniously plucked from the water and thrown into Olympus in front of a group of very, very upset gods.

This is where the embarrassing bit comes in.

It was undoubtedly frustrating that for most of Percy’s life, he had been given no real guardrails on what he could and could not do. At the ripe age of fifteen, if he wanted to prance about the ocean for weeks on end, none of the gods would have even paid much mind unless it impacted their precious prophecy. Hell, even now, Nico went to the Underworld as he wished and nobody batted an eye.

But for Percy? Well, him disappearing into thin air was apparently a very big deal.

“Do you understand how lucky it is that we allow you to even live, child?” Zeus demanded. Percy just nodded. It wasn’t the first time he had been brought into a room for people to yell at him. It wouldn’t be the last. “Poseidon, we had an agreement. He cannot be left unsupervised. To be as reckless as to-”

“I was perfectly at ease,” Percy tried, which wasn’t the smartest considering he interrupted the king of the gods. “My lord,” he added hastily. “I forgot myself, but there was no real danger. I’ll be sure to alert someone next time.” Angry eyes drilled into him. “It’s not like I went to Alaska,” he added lightly.

As expected, nobody seemed to think his joke was funny…even if it was. From his throne, Poseidon shifted, looking very much like he wanted to throttle him.

Here's the other thing: Percy often did go to Alaska! Once a year! Granted, that was with numerous demigods and mortal Triton, but if the gods could turn a blind eye to that, then they could get over this, surely.

“It won’t happen again, brother,” Poseidon finally said. “I apologize for this matter dragging you all from your duties.” His eyes turned to Percy pointedly.

…right.

“I’m sorry,” he said, giving a weak smile. “My father is right. It won’t happen again.”

Zeus rubbed his temple, sparks jumping at his fingers as he looked around the room, clearly tempted to see if he could get away with smiting Percy on the spot. In the end, he must have decided it was not worth the trouble because he merely nodded.

“Why did you wish to go to Atlantis, Perseus?” Athena asked, looking genuinely puzzled. “You say you got lost in your attempt to visit your father’s palace, but I see no reason why you would make such a trip.”

For the love of them, why couldn’t they let anything drop?

“Um,” he began. “I-” The door to the throne room creaked open. Percy turned to find Triton himself slipping into the room, looking somewhere between exhausted and furious. Percy potentially may have caused the former. He definitely caused the latter.

“Apologies for my lateness,” Triton said, sweeping by. “I had urgent matters-” he began, giving Percy a death stare as he passed by. “I can take responsibility for this-”

“Lord Triton,” Hades said with a surprising amount of sympathy. “Your workload has been no easy feat these past months. You needn’t come for this.” Hades glanced at Zeus. “Did you summon him, brother?”

The gods all turned to Zeus. Percy frowned. Surely Triton was no busier than them, right?

“He is the one who made such a fuss about him living!” Zeus muttered as Athena frowned, leaning forward to study Triton carefully. “Do not question me, Hades.”

Hades threw up a hand, muttering something about understanding the unreasonable demands of lazy kings, which made Poseidon roll his eyes. Triton, for his part, looked a little like he wanted to hug Hades.

“Triton, we’re practically finished,” Athena cut in, a note of irritation in her tone as she glanced at Zeus. Percy watched in silent amazement. While it was definitely weird that his girlfriend’s mother was raised by his brother, nothing was weirder than seeing how Athena would soften ever so slightly around Triton. “The only question that remained was why Perseus was attempting to enter Atlantis.”

Everyone turned to him.

Ugh.

Percy bit his lip, trying and failing to find something - literally anything - that didn’t make him sound stupid.

“I… just wished to visit,” he tried. Everyone kept staring. “I was looking for Triton,” he finally relented, hoping that might be the end of it.

“Me?” Triton frowned. “Why?”

The nerve.

“I don’t know,” Percy snapped back, irritation growing despite the humiliation of it all. “Maybe I wanted to make sure you weren’t mortal and dead. Maybe I wanted to make sure you weren’t kidnapped or faded or that you didn’t get lost in a cave, like Dad.” Poseidon pinched the bridge of his nose, scowling at Artemis snorting at that last part. “I mean,” Percy continued. “Like Zeus said-”

Thunder shook the room, rattling several of the golden decorations on the walls.

“Like Lord Zeus said,” Percy corrected. “You were the one who made such a big deal about me living. And then you just spend three months completely gone? I have a presentation due next week!”

Triton spluttered. “A presen-? What does that have to do with me?!” he demanded, voice raising up an octave.

“It’s on you!” Percy said, throwing up his hands. “I have chemistry to do too, you know. And a geography seminar. Not to mention international relations. And so when my religious and political studies class said we had to do a presentation on a god, I thought, ‘wow, I can just get Triton to tell me what he does all day and I can focus on the difficult stuff’ but no! You ditch me.”

A beat of silence passed. Yep. He definitely sounded stupid. Tragic.

From where the front of the room, Apollo raised a finger. “If I may,” he began as Zeus held up his hands as a sort of ‘what is happening’ gesturing. “Might I ask why you did not simply request Rhode or Kymopoleia for this easy A of yours?”

“Or do the assignment properly?” Athena asked flatly.

“Rhode and Kym didn’t beat up Hercules,” Percy protested and Zeus’s eyes narrowed. Yeah. He had probably pissed him off enough today. “It’s fine. It doesn’t matter,” Percy amended quickly. “Based on how busy Triton apparently is, it would have made the presentation too long anyway.”

Zeus turned to stare wordlessly at Poseidon. Possibly telepathically asking for the hundredth time if killing Percy could be on the table. Poseidon ignored him. Instead, he looked between Percy and Triton, a hint of amusement buried deep within the exasperation.

“Very well,” he finally said. Percy relaxed. At least this was over. “Triton, please take him with you to complete your duties for the next two days.”

Triton’s head snapped up. “What?”

“What?” Percy asked at the same time.

“Why am I getting punished?!” Triton asked indignantly which…okay. Percy didn’t think him just tagging along was punishment but sure. A few other gods glanced over in surprise. Hades just shook his head in pure disappointment.

Poseidon shrugged. “Busy as you may be, you did insist on Perseus living-”

“As did you,” Triton began but was silenced by Poseidon’s look.

“And perhaps this will help Perseus complete the project that he is so concerned about.”

Triton gaped, looking downright affronted as he slowly turned to Percy was a subtle promise of murder in his eyes. “Very well,” he finally said after a few moments of silence.

They all just stood there.

“Now,” Poseidon prompted when nobody moved. “We all have duties to attend to.”

Triton swallowed, looking like he had a thousand wasps in his mouth as gave a slight bow, ignoring the surprisingly sympathetic looks others were offering him (rude?) before turning back to Percy.

Before he could even react Triton had grabbed his arm, shoving him forward. Air jolted around them, leaving Percy shivering until he felt the familiar pressure of water against his skin, light vanishing and then reappearing a moment later.

When he opened his eyes, they were in some room in Atlantis that he didn’t recognize. Not too surprising. The palace always seemed to have a few extra spaces he hadn’t seen before. The place felt endless. Steadying himself on the pearl flooring, he looked up at where Triton had transitioned into his merman form.

“Did that really happen?” Percy asked because… well, while he had dealt with many strange things in his life the gods sending him to watch Triton work just hadn’t been on his BINGO card. Not to mention the residual embarrassment at being treated like some sort of toddler under the constant need for supervision.

He supposed that wasn’t too far from the truth. For thousand-year-old beings, he kind of was a barely walking baby with a bomb. Still. If that baby had fought titans and giants then some grace was needed.

This level of oversight surely couldn't be the rest of his life, could it?

“You,” Triton said, eyes now literally glowing as he picked up some sort of tray from the large table in front of them and swung it at him. “Are. So. Infuriating.” Percy barely dodged the first assault, though Triton with a tail was tragically fast and managed to smack his arm on the final two.

“Ow,” he complained, wishing the water had softened the hit like it was supposed to do. “Hello, by the way.”

“Hello?” Triton asked, voice rising an octave. “You pull this stunt and want to act like I’m the one out of line here?” he asked, tossing the tray aside. Percy inwardly sighed. “You-”

“Are dangerous, just barely allowed to live, should be grateful the gods don’t blast you into pieces, need to control yourself, don’t understand the gravity of the situation,” Percy rattled off as he fell into a chair on one side of the table. “Yep. I know.,” he said, trying his best not to sound whiny. “I guess I hadn’t seen a god in so long I forgot I was under constant surveillance.”

The bitterness seemed to pause Triton for a moment. The anger wavered. “I would think that would please you,” he sighed. “You don’t like gods.”

“I don’t like gods who don't treat people well,” Percy corrected. Triton opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Percy kept talking, keen to change the subject. “So am I just going to stay here and watch you do paperwork or whatever?” he asked because he truly wasn’t sure what Triton did all day. He always heard about Triton’s many, endless duties but nobody actually told him what most entailed.

He was a messenger god, right? And the god of the waves? Was it just going to be like... a sea-version of what Hermes did?

“Just… wear this and don’t interrupt,” Triton sighed, pulling out a scallop shell. Percy stared at it blankly. Wordlessly, Triton rolled his eyes and grabbed Percy's wrist to place the open end of the shell against his ear. “Enter!” Triton called, taking a seat next to Percy.

And that was when things got chaotic.

The shell, as it turned out, was some sort of translation tool. When Percy pulled it away from his ear the languages that flooded the room were not the least bit decipherable. He caught brief bits of Atlantean he knew, but for the most part, the languages were ones he hadn’t heard before. With the shell against his ear, he was able to make out what the new occupants of the room were currently snapping about.

“I think it goes without saying that I am not going to defend any war crimes,” Triton said as a selkie and shark-man set the scene of some sort of massacre that had taken place in the Arctic. “The treaty I drew up was clear-”

“They broke the treaty!” the shark-man hissed.

“And I had laid out what steps were to be taken in such an event,” Triton replied evenly. “But you didn’t follow those steps. You instead killed dozens and took their sea as compensation which you are not owed.” The shark-man huffed, whispering something that sounded a bit like a spell. “We could always take this matter to a full trial and my father could preside over your fate,” Triton told him. “If you believe I am being unfair.”

The shark-man paused, suddenly looking wary. Slowly, he shook his head.

“I thought not,” Triton mused. “The territory will all go to the remainder of Sheila's tribe,” he said, nodding to the selky. “You will give thirty members of your own tribe to our army to serve my father and may find a new area to settle, but not if anyone has laid claim. Questions?” he asked, writing something down. The shark-man swallowed but said nothing. “Good. Go get this finalized outside,” Triton said, sliding some parchment over the table. “And if I see you here again, it will be the last.”

Huh.

Percy watched as the pair slinked out, immediately replaced by four new sea creatures. This time, it was some cultural dispute which, to Percy’s utter horror, involved the eating of dead bodies. An octopus insisted eating carcasses was an important part of death and the dead creature lived on through them. Sea turtles, however, found this very disrespectful since part of their rituals around death involved seeing if the body would sink or float.

This was followed by two schools of fish who apparently had extremist opinions on whether they could be eaten or not. Percy hadn’t realized this was a choice, but sure. He also wasn’t entirely sure why that one group was so passionate about wanting to be eaten, but again… sure.

An eel came to advocate for better living conditions in the Pacific Ocean. A crab came to protest that lobsters were immortal (something Percy was not entirely sure was true) and demanded they be given the same rights.

All in all, there had been at least thirty meetings that Triton presided over, patiently pointing to different laws and bringing up histories of various species to determine varying levels of fairness. He occasionally reminded them of certain treaties or past rewards and punishments given by either himself or Poseidon or some other people. By the end of it, Percy’s head was spinning.

“Why can’t I understand them without this?” Percy asked, lifting the shell when the last fish had swam out. Triton ran a hand over his face, glancing over at Percy to see what he was talking about.

“The ocean is huge, Perseus. Think of how many languages your kind has on land. And you expect us to have one?”

“Well,” Percy began, putting the shell down. “I just mean… typically I hear sea creatures in my head and they are speaking in… you know. English. And their thoughts aren’t as complex as everyone here.”

“Depends on the sea creature,” Triton said, getting up from the table. “Some are more evolved than others. You don’t tend to run into the more established societies in your day-to-day life,” he said. Percy nodded slowly. Fair point, he supposed. “Come on. We're running late."

"To meet your friends?" Percy asked a little hopefully. It was a running joke that Triton wouldn't associate with him in Atlantis - let alone let Percy meet anyone he knew personally. So far Percy had met Ridley, but not anybody else who he could embarrass Triton in front of. "Or Benni?" he asked, thinking of their mysterious sister who Percy had only seen once.

Triton snorted. "No," he said. "But you'll enjoy this next bit. I have to check the forges, so we'll get to see Tyson." Percy jumped up, already grinning at the idea of visiting his brother. "Then we'll have a few other stops... How often do you need to eat again?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at Percy. "It felt like every few minutes as a mortal."

"Not that often," Percy assured him as they exited the room into a long corridor filled with coral. "What else do we have to do? Can I help-?"

"No."

"I think Dad was implying that I would help."

"He was not."

"I'm sure I can do something. What does checking the forges mean? I can do that."

"No."

"But-"

"No."

Yeah. It was going to be a long two days.