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S.T.I.L.L., hufflepuffdemiwizard's completed works, Leymonaide fic recs, red hood reads for crying at 2a.m over how dc massacred your boy
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Published:
2021-12-15
Completed:
2022-01-13
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9,666
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6/6
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On To Plan B

Summary:

After coming back to Gotham, and despite many objections to the name, Jason becomes the Red Hood; newest ally to The Dynamic Duo. Except, Jason has a plan. A really big plan. An evil plan. A plan to get rid of Robin permanently (but not in the dead sense).

Where Red Hood isn't a crime lord on a warpath, but instead trying to destroy The Bats from the inside by pushing Robin out of the nest. Although, his plan might need a couple readjustments when things start going off script. Good thing Tim is too oblivious to realize Jason's brilliant master-minding skills.

Notes:

Not following anything, just writing ;)

 

To answer at least one of the questions you'll probably be asking:
In this universe Jason died, came back and got dropped in the Lazarus Pit by the League of Assassins who trained him. He leaves the league, mostly cured of the Pit, and re-joins the family as the vigilante Red Hood, because he wants to use Joker's old name to do good as his revenge against his murderer.
However, his revenge against Batman is trying to make Replacement Robin feel like he's the one being replaced by Red Hood.

Hope you have fun reading!

LANGUAGE

Chapter 1: The Coffee

Chapter Text

 

 

1. The Coffee

 

 

Jason was patient. He could play the long game, even if it took months, the end result was going to be worth the wait. Soon enough, the new little Robin would be tucking tail and running for the hills, leaving Batman completely Robinless.

 

Like he should've been after the previous one’s death. After Jason’s death.

 

There was a plan, of course, a really good plan. A plan that called upon Jason’s best acting skills. That, speaking of which…

 

From the kitchen table, Jason waved cheerfully at Alfred as he passed.

 

He hated lying to Alfred, but it wasn’t like he could tell him the truth about what he was up to. So, once the butler was out of sight and earshot, Jason darted up. In a flash, the remaining coffee in the pot was poured down the drain, and Jason was sitting innocently back in his seat.

 

It was only a matter of time now. 

 

And, like clockwork, not five minutes later, the Replacement came stumbling into the kitchen. He yawned, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

 

Jason smiled at him, his true intention hidden behind a mask.

 

“Morning, Timbo!” he called out.

 

Replacement barely acknowledged him, mumbling incoherently in response as he made his way towards the coffee pot. It took him a second, staring at the pot like he wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing, before he realized there was no coffee left for him.

 

“Sorry about that kid, looks like we're out.” Smirking, Jason breathed in Replacement's frustration at his conundrum.

 

That’s right, Replacement, that’s right. They’re starting to forget about you now that I’m here. No coffee left for-

 

“Oh, well, that’s fine. I’ll just have to brew some more, I suppose.”

 

Jason’s inner monologue was interrupted when his Replacement opened the cabinet above his head. Sighing, he pulled out a new bag of coffee grounds and started making his own pot.

 

Biting his cheeks to keep from scowling, Jason forced himself to stay focused. He couldn’t believe this revelation. Okay, so he knew it wasn’t that hard to do, but Replacement was a pampered little brat! What business did he have knowing how to make his own coffee, huh? 

 

Mentally shaking himself, Jason decided to move on. He would just have to make some adjustments to his plan, that was all.

 

I’m not done yet, Replacement. Just you wait.

 

 

The next morning, after Alfred was gone, Jason started again. 

 

The coffee pot was emptied in the sink and this time, now knowing what he knew, Jason changed the place of the coffee bag to the highest shelf he could reach.

 

He chuckled to himself as he sat back down.

 

Ha! There’s no way in hell Replacement can get to the coffee this time.

 

As though only a simple thought could summon him, the Replacement shuffled into the kitchen, dark bags under his eyes.

 

“Morning, Timbit!” Jason greeted, mockingly chipper.

 

“Hey, Jay,”  Replacement yawned back.

 

He stared at the empty pot as he spoke, tilting his head in confusion. Blinking a couple times, he opened the cabinet, slowly lifting his chin upwards. Once his eyes found the bag of coffee, Replacement frowned.

 

Oh dear, Replacement! Jason monologued sarcastically. Whatever will you do now?

 

What Replacement actually did almost gave Jason a heart attack, when out of seemingly nowhere, he started climbing the counter. In fuzzy socks.

 

Considering getting the kid hurt on his watch was NOT part of his plan, Jason found himself running to grab him before he could slip and crack his head open.

 

“Dude, no!” Jason scolded him, putting him down safely on the ground. “Here, let me get that for you,” he managed to say without grinding his teeth.

 

I’m not done yet…

 

Reaching up for the bag, as Jason brought it down he ‘accidentally’ let it slip from his grip and coffee grounds spilled onto the floor, some of it raining all over Replacement too.

 

“Aw, shit, sorry about that, Timmy,” he apologized.

 

He watched with anticipation for the brat to throw a fit. He waited long. He waited hard. But after staring at the mess, Replacement patted his shoulder.

 

“That’s okay, Jason. I’m gonna go get a broom,” he said.

 

A broom?  A cleaning broom? Abort! Alfred is gonna kill me if I let him make a bigger mess.

 

“Man, I’m really sorry about that, kid. How about I help you?”

 

Jason couldn’t stop his right eye from twitching, when his obviously moronic Replacement wrapped his arms around his middle in a light hug.

 

“Thanks, Jay, you’re the best!”

 

Okay, so he knew better now. His plan would need some more tweaking, but everything was fine.

 

Don’t think you’ve won, Replacement. I’m not done yet.

 

 

Finally, Jason’s move was going to go flawlessly. He’d adapted from his previous mistakes and this time he was sure nothing could possibly go wrong.

 

The exact moment Alfred was out of the kitchen, he got to finding the perfect hiding stop for the coffee. Once he was sure there was no possible way Replacement could find it, Jason went to pour out the liquid in the pot.

 

“Master Jason… What are you doing?”

 

Oh. Fuuuuuuuck.

 

Jason was standing incriminatingly over the sink, the coffee still spilling out the pot and down the drain. 

 

Alfred gave him an unimpressed look. His eyebrows were raised as he studied him.

 

Slowly, Jason put the pot back down on the sink, his brain short circuiting, trying to find the right excuse.

 

“I was- Well, you see- What happened was- I, uh- I,” Jason spluttered hopelessly.

 

Right at that moment, the Replacement walked into the room. Jason heard him before he saw him.

 

“Good morning everybody! Wonderful weather we’re having, am I right?”

 

Jason flipped around, completely unprepared for how he should react when caught in the act… Only to find Timothy Fucking Drake sipping ice-coffee through a colorful straw, out of a giant plastic cup. He glanced between Jason and Alfred with enthusiastic blue eyes, fueled heavily by caffeine.

 

“What?” Replacement had the nerve to ask. Noticing where they were both staring, he looked at his cup. “Oh, this? Yeah, I woke up early this morning, and I thought to myself: I’m in the mood for Dunkin' Donuts today! So I headed down there for some good old ice-coffee.”

 

“But- But-” Jason opened and closed his mouth, incredulous. “But how did you get there?”

 

“What do you mean?” Replacement blinked, puzzled. “I took my bike.” Walking past him, he patted Jason’s chest. “You know how to ride a bike? We should go together sometime, if you want.”

 

Slurping the last of his coffee, Jason’s obnoxiously oblivious Replacement went to the sink to wash out his cup. Then headed back for the door, waving on his way out.

 

“I’m gonna go recycle this. See you later!”

 

Glaring after him, Jason almost missed the sound of Alfred clearing his throat.

 

“Master Jason, I am still awaiting your explanation.”

 

Fine. You’ve inadvertently won this round, Replacement. But I’ve still got plenty of moves left to make on the board. I’m still in the game and you’re going down!

 

“...You see, Alfie, what happened was, I thought I saw this fly, right? So, it was flying around and…”

 

Jason was patient. Very patient.

 

Soon enough, he’d be pushing that stupid pretender out of the nest. Bruce and Dick, and even Alfred, would be none the wiser about what really caused their baby birdie to fly the coop.