Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

7th September, Tuesday, 3 PM

Hey, 

I know we haven't spoken in years, and it's possible you've forgotten who I am. To be honest, I don't blame you; if I were in your shoes, I'd want to forget about everything that happened at the time.

I recently saw this huge interview with you, and I was pleased to see that you had become a Symbol of Peace in the United States. It's a little ironic that all of your attacks are named after states, but that's beside the point.

I was going to start with a lame but friendly “hi Deku," but I don't think I have the right to do so. Fuck that. I've never had the fucking right to refer to you by that stupid fucking nickname.

I was a stupid kid who wanted to be better than everyone, even when his fucking inferiority complex was dragging him down; but that's no excuse for what I did to you, and I don't feel like I have the right to ask you to forgive that stupid fucking brat from the past.

So now I don't know what to call you anymore. We are not acquaintances or friends. We are just strangers with memories, some of which I am ashamed of because of my idiotic behavior.

Sugar-coating shit, which I need to say, was never my thing, so I'm just gonna get to the goddamn point. I want to say that I'm sorry for everything.

From the stupid nickname to the bullying to the cruel and hurtful words you never deserved. I'm sorry, Izuku, I'm truly sorry, and I'm really not asking for forgiveness. I don't deserve it, but I just wanted to let you know how I feel. Fuck me. I'd never known how to express my emotions other than being angry and cursing everyone in my vicinity. 

I still do that sometimes, but I'm trying really hard to work on those issues and suppress all of that useless anger that brings me nothing but shit that I don't want.

One of the things that urged me to write this after such a long time is that I finally figured out why I hated you so much, and it's so fucking childish and stupid that it makes me want to smash my head against a fucking wall.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if my memory serves me correctly, it happened when we were around four years old, perhaps a few weeks before my quirk manifested, and we were in the woods behind your apartment complex, looking for cicadas or other strange bugs that fascinated us at the time. And it all happened so quickly: I saw this big, colorful bug and thought you'd like it, so I went straight to the tree trunk that was dangling over the river. I don't remember exactly what happened and how the fuck my ass ended up in the water, but I do remember that I fucked my right knee pretty badly and the fact that I still have a big ass fucking scar is my reminder of what happened that day.

Anyway, I couldn't walk because I was bleeding and that shit hurt like a bitch, but you rushed up to me and urged me to get on your back, despite the fact that you were smaller and weaker than me. I still remember your small hands trembling as you stood in front of me, staring at the wound, and, fuck Izuku, it took us nearly half an hour to get back to your apartment, but you never let me down.

This is going to sound corny, but you were a hero to me at the time. When my quirk appeared but yours did not, I tried to convince myself that you were a late bloomer, that your quirk was so impressive that you needed a little more time to prepare for it.  Your quirk, even after a year, wasn’t there. You were quirkless.

I'm not sure what emotions I was feeling at the time. Maybe disappointment, betrayal, or even numbness. In my view, the person I admired for a short time appeared to be a fake. The person who carried me on his back while shaking like a fucking idiot was hardly anything like the child who always trailed behind me with a fake smile.

And when we enrolled in the UA and I found you had a quirk, my entire illusion about you was shattered in an instant. You were so strong, and I felt like I was falling behind, like I was going back to when I couldn't do any-fucking-thing. It's never been so painful to look at your back as it was back then. So I tried my hardest to keep up with you, but my inferiority complex ate me alive in the end.

I never understood why you never gave up, why you still wanted to go to UA, and why you never resented me when I told you to... take a dive. Fuck, those words are still haunting me, and now I'm glad you didn't listen to me and kept moving forward… Naw, never mind. I don't want to talk about that. Fuck that. 

So, yeah, I know it was a mistake to treat you that way, and I apologize once more.

I'm just going to switch topics because I know you don't want to read and relive those horrible memories.

Some of our classmates are still in touch with me, and I occasionally team up with them. Ochako is doing fantastically well. She achieved her dream and, man, she is thriving as a pro hero. And even Todoroki is a big deal now; after abandoning his revenge plan, or whatever it was, he created his own agency and took in all the children who had been neglected by their parents, giving internships and even financial support to those in fucked up situations.

They are all working hard even now. 

I'm also working hard to maintain my position as the number one hero, which I'm pretty fucking proud of, but the name "Ground Zero" is starting to weigh on me.

Anyway, I'm not writing this to bitch about my life. I hope you have a good life as well, and that you have finally found happiness and fulfilled all of your dreams and aspirations.

Write me back or don't. Do whatever the hell you want,

Katsuki Bakugou

12th September, Saturday, 8 PM

Kacchan,

From the moment I opened the letter, I knew it was you. Not because of what was written, but because I will recognize your beautiful handwriting even after long years of nothing. I saw that hey and instantly panicked haha. I even needed to close it for a whole half an hour to just... breathe. You almost always make me need a breath.

Wait, don't take that the wrong way. Alright. I know your whole letter was like, forgive me for my shitty behavior that stemmed from personal problems that should have never involved you in any way, or at least, this close to it. It was something like this. And while I can admit that I needed it. This letter. I needed this kind of closure, I needed to read it and feel it in my bones, because I did. I felt it. You never do things half the way. Never did. And even though we haven't seen each other in years, haven't talked at all, I follow what you guys do. I follow you. Even through a screen, even if it's a controversial thing or the thousands of heroics you do and nothing more, I can still see that intensity you put in everything (You managed to remain so secretive and impersonal outside your Pro Hero identity while me, right here, was discussed yesterday on a widely known tv show about the kind of underwear I have depending on the weekdays. Atrocious. How do you do it?)

I just want to say, the short version, that you never half-ass things. You do them. I know your apology was the most of sincerest things I will ever receive, and perhaps that is why I cried like a baby. But hey, you know me, I am an emotional guy. Though I can't say these last years gave me permission to be, with how much rests on my shoulders. Responsibilities and all that. So, yea. Thank you for making me have a cry session. A truly ugly one. It was riveting. Freeing. I had a good time.

Now that this ramble is over, let me lecture you a little bit. First of all, this sentence right here, the I don't have a right to ask for your forgiveness, is utter bullshit. With due respect, Kacchan. That doesn't stay in your right to choose if I forgive you or not. Asshole. Yea, you asshole. I can well damn forgive you, because it's my right to do so if I want. Which, yes. I want. I fact, I already did it a long, long time ago. You just didn't know because... well, because I didn't say that. Because I didn't need to. Because maybe you didn't want to know that you had my forgiveness, or maybe because I thought you weren't ready to have it at that time, it wasn't what you needed. I know for damn sure it wouldn't have been the type of closure we both needed. So there, don't wallow in self-pity for things that are now behind us as a whole. You need it now, and I'm giving it to you with all my heart: I forgive you, Katsuki Bakugou.

Also, second of all this: You calling me Izuku. Oh, God. What is that. How. I can't even imagine. No, shut up. Please. I'm sure you had changed in many ways, and a screen can't really project all of it, but I've heard your voice these days, and let me tell you, my brain trying to imagine you saying my name with that tone of yours is kind of. Terrifying. The Symbol Of Peace of this generation is terrified of that. I will not explain how is not in your right but in mine to say if you can call me Deku or not, because I think you got it for sure, but yea. Deku is alright, Kacchan. It basically came from you, even if the meaning had changed, even if it had been something not so pleasant at first. But hey. Development happens, right? You've felt it, I've felt it. We have to accept it. Deku is a hero right now. Deku is good.  

Wow, this is gonna be a long one, but I have so much to say about... everything. Also, before I go on another really long tangent. You seeing me on news makes me want to rewatch every interview I've done so I can see if I said some stupid shit or not, or if there's some improvement to my English. I'm really trying, but the accent is fucking me up sometimes. A real struggle, Kacchan. My English tutor is always joking about how unstoppable I'm going to be when I will be able to rant in two different languages. I think he's exasperated with my Japanese mumbles as much as you were haha.

I know I'm stalling the big Elephant In The Room but. I kind of don't want to open the subject of the little childhood story you told me. Made me cry hard, sure, but also, it's heavy. It's something I don't want to talk about right now. Your letter was cathartic, and it also was closure for you and for me, and I think you meant for it to be sent and just that. I know for sure you won't expect an answer, that you think you don't deserve it. 

I'm answering, Kacchan, but I won't talk about what happened in the past right now. I forgave you, and I'm at peace, and I got my closure for all those times. I hope you got it too. I truly do. I just want to talk to you. I want to ramble about anything else, everything. I'm already doing it, but I want to do more. I want to catch up, and even if none of us is ready for a call, or a video call, or even to exchange numbers, I will send this shit show of a letter in hopes it kinda makes you smile, and in hopes you'll send another one of yours. So we can talk. And catch up. 

Some day maybe. Maybe we can talk about it. About why it happened, about all the details, about me and you of that time, but right now we're in our mid-twenties and you extended an olive branch to me and I took it so let's make a goddamn tree together and build something healthier between us. (What do you say?)

Also, I talk to Uraraka from time to time(but your little update on her warmed my heart.) Yes, she is indeed thriving. And as merciless as ever. She's always asking when I'm coming to visit. Relentless, she is. But I did do a double blink when I read that you and Shouto are... interacting. It's. Wow. It's something to think about. I haven't seen any interviews with you two, or articles for that matter(I said I follow you guys, but I also am a dumbass with lots of stuff to do so don't take those words to heart? I don't really see everything going on. The internet is a trippy space for me. They're forcing me to make a Twitter account right now, and it's been a war about that.) You and Shouto as a duo seems to be something absolutely horrifying for all villains in Japan. Good luck to them, I say.

Wish you could have written more about Ground Zero. About you. I don't care if you call it bitching about your life. Bitch to me. I'm here for it. I will do it in return, but only if you initiate it. Let's bitch to each other. (It's an invitation. Be polite and accept it, Kacchan. Or just tell me to go fuck myself. It's fine either way.)

My dreams are... they are ongoing, to be honest. Can you really say you achieved something that is still happening? I'm sure you get it. Let's hope for the best. Let's hope for more. Let's be happy and then some. I am happy, but there's the more , you know? There's a world to protect. There's always more. 

But I hope you are happy as well. Sometimes I think things in Japan can be even harsher than in America. The media there is ruthless. Not that here it's not, but I don't know. It's just a feeling that I'm having. Remember, if you want to bitch. My mailbox is open. 

My rambling stops here. 

with happiness, 

Midoriya Izuku (Deku :) )

14th September, Tuesday, 2 AM

Hello, this is the person you referred to as an "asshole."

First, I cannot fucking believe it. You, Iuzku Midoriya, had the audacity, the fucking audacity, to call me, Katsuki Bakugou, Ground fucking Zero, an asshole. A fucking asshole. Damn, that caught me off guard a little. Someone became sassier in the last few years, ha.

Yeah, I wasn't expecting a response, and I can imagine how you felt when you saw mine. I was hesitant to open yours because, well, you never know. I was prepared to take all of your harsh words and even a fucking letter from your lawyers threatening to sue me for all of the emotional, physical, and psychical trauma I had caused you in the past. It was fortunate for me that it wasn't that.

It took me days to write to you again, and I still have no idea how to respond to yours or what to say; because this is strange, you know, being able to talk to you and seeing that you forgave me. Holy fucking shit, Izu, I'm still shaking just by thinking about it.

I'm not going to repeat myself about how I still don't think I'm deserving of your forgiveness cause something inside me tells me that you gonna fly your ass here just to beat mine so, uh, thank you? No, fuck, it’s fucked up to say “thank you” for something like that, isn’t it? But I believe you understand what I'm trying to say, which is that I'm grateful.

The way you wrote and phrased your sentences reminded me of how long it's been since I've been able to hear (or see in our case, but that's beside the point) you. I'm not sure if it's because I was a jerk in high school or because the years have changed us both, but you're expressing yourself so well, even with your ramblings and mumblings. And, yeah, I'm sure the poor dude is done with you if you're still as bad as you were when we were kids. Jesus, why are you still doing that? Still overthinking shit like you used to do, hm?

Also, what exactly do you mean when you say "I follow you guys"? Because the last time I spoke with Todoroki, you stated in an interview that "social media isn't really for me, so I stay as far away as I can." Give me an explanation for that one, nerd; you've piqued my interest. For your information, I simply bark at any reporters who approach me; they become terrified and decide to leave me alone,,, Nah, I’m kidding, I wish it were that simple, but I try to stay out of their way as much as possible, and the fact that they see me as a reckless but invincible hero helps? I believe so. I don't know, and to be honest, I couldn't care less about what the media thinks of me and my personal life. If they are not up my ass, they can say whatever they want. Seriously, they thought “Deku's underwear” was a good idea? Who the fuck approved of that? Can’t you, fuck, sue them? Yeah, you should sue them, BUT, if you were wearing old all might merch, then don’t. It’s totally your fault and I stand by that. You and your underwear, I fucking swear.

Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare to re-watch your interviews dumbass, you’re doing fine. Don’t stress about it. Take your time, even if you're having trouble with your accents and shit. I believe that actions speak louder than words, and in our field, actions are everything.

You said you wanted to know more about me, about Ground Zero, but I'm warning you, it's not going to be anything spectacular; it'll just be basic nonsense. Yes, Todoroki and I collaborate on occasion, and I am proud to say that he is one of my closest friends. Izu, a lot of fucked up shit happened after you left, and he was the only one who stayed by my side during those times. Don't get me wrong, fucking Icy-Hot right now is still annoying, and I sometimes wish I could gag him (please, for the love of fucking god, don't make this weird. Not in that fucking way, but violently and mercilessly.) and ignore whatever he says, but I know I would never be where I am now if it weren't for him. I'll never be able to thank him enough for everything he did for me. Denki and Shinsou are also close to me, because Pikachu here decided that dating a wanna-be Aizawa was a good idea, and it was. He's a good guy, too, and it's easy to work with him. He's also fun to be around. I believe you would like him.

That's all I have to say about my personal life because there hasn't been much in the last few years. I keep training and overworking myself, but now I also have paperwork to complete. It's difficult to run an entire agency by myself while also being on the field around 80 percent of the time, and fatigue is beginning to take its toll.

Closure. The word itself makes me terrified for some reason. Closure. I think... I think it is something that we both looked for in these years. Closure. Yeah, I needed that, maybe more than ever. And maybe you were the only one that could offer me that closure. That feeling of peacefulness. The feeling of being whole. Thank you, Izuku. For everything that you said in that letter, and even more, even the things you left out, thank you for all of that.

It still doesn't feel real for me to be able to talk to you, so I apologize if this was a mess or too short, but I need more time. It's time to give myself permission to feel these emotions. This does not imply that I will simply stop responding to your letters; don't jump to that conclusion. I just need some time to get used to you again, which I believe we both need. We changed, things happened, and now we're in our mid-twenties, as you mentioned. We're not the same as we used to be, but we're still similar in some ways, and I have to accept that.

So, please tell me who is the current Pro Hero Deku and who is the real Izuku Midoriya. Tell me about the real you, not the one who is on display in public. Deku, I would like to get to know you, so talk to me.

Don't worry, I'll do the same,

Katsuki

16th September, Thursday, 11:20 AM

First Of All,

First of everything, I should've expected you to tease. Why didn't I? I should've. That's how you are. I know that even though I wasn't the one really at the receiving end, that you love to fucking tease. You used to do it with Kirishima all the time. Flustered the poor guy into oblivion so many times. (How is he, by the way? Saw him in a dramatic news report about a hidden love-child? News at home are ridiculous as fuck, but we're not talking about that right now-) You teasing bastard, Kacchan. How do you read a whole paragraph about me freaking out over you calling me Izuku, then decide to still continue calling me Izuku, then you add an extra drop of salt into the wound and come up with Izu. 

You're out to get me, in the worst and best way. Izu. Holy fucking fuck. Fuck you, really. Like, truly fuck you, Kacchan. Do you know how many people here use first names as a way to address everything, uncaring of personal and impersonal status? I'm used to strangers calling me Izuku, where there would have been a Midoriya, and I'm used to Deku, because that's who I am. (I kind of miss the way you used to say it. It's that sadistic of me? I'm sure it is. I'm a bit of a weirdo, it seems.) But Izu? Who the fuck is Izu, I asked myself with I first read it in your handwriting, then I realized that it's me. I'm Izu.

Alright, I needed to get that out. I'm sure this name thing from you is going to be a constant problem for me, so congrats, you're able to fluster the one that was tilted as an Untouchable Hero when it comes to that type of thing. Also, let's be real. The sassy one is not me. That's you. Sometimes I wonder how fucking razor-sharp your brain is. Like, really. Some of your responses to the press hurt even my soul, and I'm miles away from home. Of course they're gonna leave you alone. Your intimidating aura is still impressive even after years of knowing you.

On the subject of razor-sharp, I hope you and Shouto are playing nice most of the time with each other. (Refrain from gagging him violently, please, Kacchan. Let him figure out his kinks on his own.) The fact that you admitted that he is one of your closest friends made me take a break from the letter to just eat and compute it all. No wonder there are some tabloids going on about you two being a secret thing in the romantic sense almost every month, (did some research these days. This is what I'm talking about with 'follow you'. Also, I won the war about social media accounts, but yesterday I received an invitation to be the next bachelor of this season's The Bachelor? Wild.) your relationship with Shouto is one of the most intriguing things in Japan, and I agree honestly. Tell him I said hi, and he should write to me too. I miss his dry humor.

DENKI AND SHINSOU? Well, things are bound to be... interesting, in that particular household, then. (You're still calling him Pikachu. Adorable, Kacchan.)

Also, no. I don't wear All Might underwear anymore. You'd think I would figure out that wearing my dad figure in front of my dick a lot sooner than I did, but at least I did. My underwear is pretty simple, really. A lot of dark blues and greys. Maybe some hot reds if I feel bold enough. I am a full-fledged adult, Kacchan. Honestly. 

You said that I would come there and beat your ass because of the forgiveness thing, but I might as well fly and beat your fucking ass anyway because I don't like you saying you're overworking yourself. Take some breaks, the number one Hero needs to put himself first so the others have his utmost support at all times. Seriously, go to some spa sessions and find someone to teach you some Yoga, Kacchan. I know you have many skincare routines; it's time you had some for your mind and body. Keep them in shape in more ways than one. 

I love how we both are like "tell me more about you" and yet we both deflect and say some impersonal stuff and then pass the torch to the other one in hopes of more and then we end up with nothing from each other. You said it will take you some time to get used to it. I respect that. I agree with it. So. Let's play a game. I tell you something about myself in every letter, like a fact that needs to be stated, and you do the same in return. Let's take it slow, yes? 

Alright, fact one: Sometimes I walk naked around my house, well almost naked. It depends on my mood, you know? Clothes can be really restricting often, so I like to unwind by taking them off when I'm at home. Just being free of everything, metaphorically or not. Then I moved to another house after a stalker incident, and I didn't realize that I have big glass doors and windows, so I may have flashed all of my naked glory to half of my neighbors for a week and a half before realizing that I'm doing it. (On second thought, now I think I know why and how half of the world is talking about my underwear. Huh.)

with amusement, 

Midoriya Izuku

19th September, Sunday, 12 AM

C’mon, 

Back in the day, I don't think I teased Kirishima all that much, or at least that wasn't my intention. He's fine; we actually had a business dinner a few days ago, where we talked about an interview we were asked to do and caught up on our lives. He was ecstatic for me and the fact that I started talking with you again. He said something to the impact of "pretty manly of me " or something along those lines.

And that shitty thing about the love child? The fucking idiots saw him and Mina looking after a child while they were off duty and started the whole fucking thing, but the truth is that the poor child got lost and our stupid friends had to look after him until the parents arrived to pick up their offspring.  

Don’t get ahead of yourself, nerd, cause it wasn’t just reading “a whole paragraph about me freaking out over you calling me Izuku, ” . Do you think I didn’t need a fucking second just to goddamn register all of that? Just the fact that you freaked out over my fucking voice ? Motherfucker, that smacked me in the gut like a ton of bricks. Izu , you are not the only one who is disturbed by the small and insignificant details written in these letters.

And yeah, Izu . Why? Simply because I desire it. I think it's something,,, cute , let’s say. What, saying your name now, is now equivalent to something like saying a bad word? Unfortunately, and we both know it, I fucking adore saying bad words. 

Yes, Americans are indifferent about honorifics and the like, which is peculiar for all of us who were taught how and when to use them from a young age. I can imagine you being very flustered and puzzled when people addressed you by your first name, and I can also imagine you adding "san" and "chan" to the end of their names for no reason other than habit. It's amusing. 

Jesus fucking christ, now you're cursing the fuck out of me, Jesus fucking christ! Fuck Izu , America really made you so brave. Yes, cuss me some more. I'm curious to see how many cuss words our little Izuku has picked up. Is your dear mother aware that her sweet, sweet child is uttering the words "fuck you" with his entire chest? Hm? Tell me Izu, does Inko know?  (Also, a small point to add so I don't have to write a big ass fucking paragraph about it. I don't think it's strange that you missed that; maybe a little sadistic, but not strange. That's all there is to it.)

What the fuck did that little nickname do to you? I can't imagine you getting worked up over a simple nickname. That didn't change at all; You're still a big softie. That's interesting to know. And, to answer your question, I'd say yes. Extremely sharp. (I wanted to add that fucking lame winky face, but that would be too much; however, there is a wink at the end of that sentence.)

Like I could be in a fucking relationship with someone who looks at me like they're my fucking therapist, who crashes on my couch every two days so we can watch all of the stupid shows he pushed onto me, and who still bitches about his father on every occasion. No way, that's a big no for me. Besides, the fucking bastard would rather stab himself in the back of the head with a dull frigging fork than date me, and I'd rather eat rat poison than date my best friend. Don't worry, I'll tell him to write to you when he wakes up, because today was one of those days when we were both bitching about this TV show while eating soba on my couch, and now he's out cold on the same said couch. This dude is going to hibernate for at least fourteen hours because he ate too much food.. ( I’m not really gonna gag the bastard and, Deku, I really do not wanna get into the discussion about Todoroki’s kinks. Not ever again.)

If we're talking about low-quality TV shows, don't accept the invitation! I don't want to watch that show (yes, Todoroki and I watched all 25 seasons don't judge us) and see you with a fucking custom-made dildo in your image or anything like that. It's also a waste of time, money, and intelligence. Yes, intelligence because it's so stupid. After 25 seasons, believe me when I say that I know pretty much everything there is to know about that stupid show. Tell them to fuck themselves and that you won't be there just so they can fucking skyrocket their audience because they fucked up last season and lost views. Nah-ah. Nope.

I could hear that scream for fucks sake, yeah nerd, Denki and Shinsou, the weird and weirdo. They are two peas in a pod. He had been drooling over the insomniac bastard since the first time he saw him and decided to confess to him in our final year because he was afraid of losing him. It was kind of cute, but the whole thing was a fucking disaster, and you're lucky you weren't there.

Took you some good years to stop wearing them, and yeah, I bet red is your color, Mr full-fledged adult.

Can you really see me doing yoga? For fucking real, Izuku ? Just the thought of me in a park, doing some fucking strange moves like,,, fucking I have no idea? Crow pose and fucking lord of fishes! Who the fuck named all of these moves, they are all dumb as fuck. ( I had to look them up because I had no idea about any yoga poses)  Plus, Izu , the books and paperwork won't write themselves if I don't pull a few all-nighters every month. I'm taking care of myself in my own unethical way, but rest assured, I'm fine. You would have received an invitation to my funeral if I hadn't been, and had truly overworked myself because Todo is worse than my old hag.

We pass the thing back and forth because we're both dumb, and we're both a little uncomfortable with it, which is fine. It's perfectly normal for us to take our time. Only one thing at a time. Baby steps. This way, we'll be able to build something even stronger between us.

You must believe me when I say that I wheezed so hard that I choked. Izu , you're such a fucking idiot. How on earth did you miss the fucking huge ass glass wall? How? Fuck, you might need a pair of glasses. Your new neighbors were extremely fortunate to be given the opportunity to partake in a nude catwalk-style experience. Fuck me, that’s fucking funny. Be careful; you might wake up one day to find that your dick or ass is trending on Twitter.

Ok. It's my turn now.

I'm still in the small apartment I got after my parents kicked me out when I was around seventeen. It's a small space with a bedroom, a living room that's connected to this lovely kitchen that I've grown to love after a few funny incidents, a small bathroom, and a balcony that I also enjoy. For two reasons, I never moved out. To begin with, moving from one location to another is inconvenient and time-consuming, and I don't have much time on my hands. Second, I have so many memories in this tiny space that I'm afraid I'll lose them all if I move. Even if some of them aren't the prettiest, they are still significant parts of my identity. So there you have it. Ground Zero, the big bad Pro Hero, lives in a tiny apartment in a desolate part of town. Just him and his cat.

I hope that one day you will be able to visit this place that I call home and where I have so many memories, and perhaps add a few more,

Katuski.

24th September, Tuesday, 7:57 PM

Dear Bakugou Dick Or Ass Is Trending On Twitter Katsuki,

It's hard to respond to everything written in these because I get sidetracked easily between topics but I will try my best.

Firstly, it's already happened so no need in being careful now. The Twitter thing. Well, kind of? Long story short, a year or two ago there was chaos on Twitter with my name as the cherry on top. Apparently, a series of pictures with my "dick" started to travel throughout all of Twitter, under all the goddamn topics. Didn't matter if it was under the K-pop topic or the Food one, my "dick" was present, uncensored and all. It was... messy. Not to mention the fact that it wasn't really my dick. They all thought it was, because surprise, surprise, apparently all the world thinks I'm supposed to be the only person with dark green pubic hair? (This is delving into a really weird topic, but I'm powering through for the sake of the story) So yes, all of Twitter is screaming about this particular picture of an average dick surrounded by dark green pubs, and my name and hero name all both in every tweet. When I tell you I was freaking out... Oh, boy. For multiple reasons; mainly, I was thinking "Is this a ploy to lure me out somehow to post my own dick pics? Is this a genius move and I'm falling for it?" and "How the fuck do I get out of this mess?"  And before you say something, shut up, alright? I know my freaking outs are weird, but my dick is my dick. I know it, and I don't like people thinking they can see it as they please and that is that dick. I like my own dick.

Alright... Enough talk about my dick. I already wrote that word too many times, it's getting strange. End of the story: the guy whose pee pee was posted all over the internet under my name revealed himself with proof and everything and after three days of people screaming about all that some more everyone forgot about it because of course, it's the internet. What did I expect?

Now onto something else. Yes, you should try Yoga, Kacchan. Those weird positions are said to bring peace into your body, and mind. C'mon, I know you're flexible enough, just try it. You never know what could be your vibe. Yoga could be it. Tight pants, a tank top and Yoga. Talking to cool moms while doing the Down Dog On A Chair position. Shouto should come with you. We all know you both need it. Some relaxation. (I know he's seeing you as his therapist as well. It's concerning how you found that level of internal liberation in each other when you're both the way you are. What is going on? )

Kirishima and Mina taking care of a child for a while and the whole thing getting written in the press as some salacious affair with a love child is both hilarious and really upsetting for some reason? Also, sounds like the plot of some type of fiction that many would eat up.

And no, I'm not adding 'chan' just for everyone, Kacchan. You of all people should know. :)

(Not talking about names and nicknames with you. I'm done with these. Fucking tease.)

I don't know if I should be concerned about the fact that you had the patience to watch 25 whole seasons of these, but to be honest, it almost urges me to accept just so I can receive letters full of you screaming at me about it with your strange The Bachelor geekiness in between. Still can't fucking believe you're a The Bachelor geek. (Shouto? Not so surprised. Not really. Just look at him, he'd love this type of torture). But then again, this show requires lots of flirting for me, lots of girls to be falling in love with me, and sudden make outs? I don't really feel like kissing one girl per hour, or telling twenty something girls that they are what I'm looking for and I'm falling for them. And I don't think The Bachelor would bend the rules and add some guy participants just for me as well. Shame, really. That maybe would have convinced me.

My neighbors might get tired of seeing my abs and my scars, really. And my perfectly normal underwear that is sometimes red. They have to take me to dinner first if they think they can see my real dick.

We are so different in this aspect. It's interesting to think that you would like to stay in a modest home, a nostalgic one, one that is full of your essence in every way, and here am I, not being capable of settling in one. I love large rooms, space. I love glass windows and heights. I can't really stay in small homes for a long period of time without feeling suffocated. It's not about luxury, not really. I just... the feel of it, like it's a whole world that I could call mine. Maybe that is why we have such a stark difference of privacy. You know how to keep it, how to take care of it. I just move on. People follow it, my trail. I don't care if villains know where my home is(They can try and come for me in my house. I dare them.) or if paparazzi find it and I end up half-naked on international tv.

YOU HAVE A CAT? Tell me their name. That is so adorable. :(

(Stepping into your little corner of comfort that you name house would be the most wonderful thing I wish I could do even right now. I hope you will receive me, someday.)

I guess now it's my turn. And if we’re already on this topic...

I was in a relationship with this guy who is half cat. It was... a journey, for sure. Since then, I can't really entertain the idea of owning a cat? I love cats, but really... It's strange. It's like my mind can't separate those two from each other. It's dumbfounding. He told me it's normal. Ex-cat boyfriend. And I guess I can see why. After hearing someone like, meowing constantly while having sex you're bound to not hear it the same. Ever. And purring... And tails. Kacchan, my mind is a fucking mess in a lot of places, and one of them is because I fucked a cat-boy. But, the strange part is that the notion of owning a cat is weird, but when other people own cats... It's not. It's not at all, and that itself stresses me out. Like, how the fuck does this work. How the fuck?

(yes, my mom knows his sweet son cusses. don't worry, I'm still her sweet boy. :) )

with too much tmi written in a single letter,

Midoriya Mr. Full-Fledged Adult Izuku, or you know, Izu

17th October, Sunday, 12:13 AM

Oh, fuck fuck fuck, Izu I’m so sorry. Oh my fucking god, it's been nearly three weeks since I've been able to respond. Sorry for the late response.

Hero work got the best of me again, and there was a strange chain of events that culminated in me being invited to a funeral that didn't happen because the deceased wasn't,,, dead? I'm not sure what the fuck happened, to be honest. Maybe the dude got a special quirk that allowed him to regenerate slowly or even a second chance? At the very least, I wasn't forced to attend a funeral.

How the fuck have I never heard about your dick on Twitter astounds me. I don't use it, but Shouto does, so he keeps me up to date on the most boring, fucked up, and dubious things that exist. I was trying to feed our cat last night when this motherfucker appeared behind me, mumbling about some mutant monkey who might or might not have discovered a cure for some rare disease. And I was sitting there, tuna can in one hand, dry cat food in the other, staring at him as if I had just seen Jesus in my living room. I slapped him across the face with some kitchen towels and returned to feeding the poor cat.

Also, I can only imagine the number of people who got off with that horny photo because they were thinking of you. Got a lot of bitches on that fake dick pic. Strange question, because I don't want to be the only one who has experienced this. Did you ever get like nudes or like,,, I don’t know, weird shit from your fans, cause, and lemme tell you Izu, this morning when I returned from fieldwork I saw this small box on my desk, and when I opened that bitch,,, I really was ready to blow up someone (and not in a fun, kinky way. nope.) it was a fucking pair of panties, with a fucking photo of me on the crotch and a fucking letter written in period blood, according to what I was told later. 

And this, this my dear, is my Villain Origin Story. 

I'm not going to try Yoga or hang out with fucking milfs in the park looking for a hookup. EVEN MORE SO IN LEGGINS. Nope. I categorically refuse. Thank you very much. Never in your life,, and I mean /never/ put my name and yoga in the same phrase. Or you’re gonna hear from my lawyers. If I need to let off steam, I can go to the gym two blocks away.  (and to respond to your “what’s going on” question, well, i have no answer. I just,,, bonded over trauma? Just kidding, I was stuck with him and realized I didn't hate him as much as I thought, y’know, he's fine) 

Okay, but how about "-san", hm? What about that one? And why am I a fucking tease? I didn't do anything. Your honor, I am completely blameless. As if I were a newborn. The holy spirit resides inside me. 

I wish we had stopped at those 25 seasons, but nooo, the bastard had to find more from that genre and force me to watch it with him, and again, fuck you and your smart mouth for calling me a geek when I was literally forced to watch that shitty show with a cute cat in my lap, unable to move from that worn-out couch, and with nothing better to do than watch it. And you can bet your ass that they won't bend the rules for your cute ass and just because you're the number one hero. Consider the possibility of them assaulting you because they all want to be on your dick or have their dicks in you. Izu, that's a no-no. Keep your ass safe.

Yes, I believe we have had enough of your underwear and dick for a while. Any more, and my therapist will be informed.

We've always been different, and it's ironic how I'm the one who clings to small things like memories and such. It's funny how I can't picture you in a small house like mine without seeing you fidgeting and looking like you have this huge pair of wings that can't relax in this cramped space. You're not someone who can stay in one place for long periods of time. That occurred to me a long time ago, perhaps after you had left us and moved away. You desired to wander, to be everywhere and nowhere all at once. You appeared to want the entire world for yourself, and let me tell you right now, you already had it. Long, long before you moved away. Don’t ask me how I know this, because I will not answer it, just, believe my words.

Please, for the love of God, Izu, don't invite any villains to your house. That’s just,,, No.  Don't do it. Oh my fucking god. I swear to God, if I ever see that nonsense on the news, I'm taking the first flight out and whooping your stupid ass because I'm pretty sure you're in desperate need of some new brain cells.

So, I guess this is the point at which I'll tell you how I came to own this little angel. First and foremost, her name is Bubbles. She's a three-year-old white Siberian cat. I'd never wanted a pet because they're a big responsibility and I can barely look after myself, but when Shouto returned from one of his night patrols with a little dirty thing in his arms and begged me to save it because the poor thing was fading away, I couldn't help but drive 2 hours to the next city where we found an open clinic. Also, fuck this stupid city and the fact that there are no animal clinics open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. According to the injuries found on the little fluff ball, she was attacked by a large dog. We spent a lot of money that night, Shouto had to use Enji's card to cover the surgery and other large fees, and our poor baby had to stay in the hospital for a month.

We named her Bubbles because after we brought her home, she sat on the counter, watching me do the dishes, and out of nowhere, she jumped into the sink after the bubbles, and she also jumped into the bathtub with Shouto for the bubbles once more. So there you have it, Bubbles. I can't imagine coming home and not seeing her waiting for me in front of the door, or just walking into the living room and seeing Shouto and Bubbles napping on the couch together. It's just a favorite of mine.

Oh, she's a spoiled brat, which I'll blame on fucking Todoroki. This motherfucker gave her a FUCKING DIAMOND COLLAR as a Christmas present last year!! I'll say it again: a diamond collar. That bullshit is more expensive than my fucking apartment!

Okay, enough about my cat; I don't want to be one of those cat dads who can't stop talking about their pets.

YOU FUCKED A CATBOY? AND YOU DECIDED TO TELL ME THAT KNOWING THAT I OWN A FUCKING CAT? Oh fuuuuck me, just end me right fucking now. I DON’T NEED TO THINK ABOUT YOU FUCKING A CATBOY EVERYTIME I HEAR MY CAT MEOWING FOR FOOD.

 Fuck fuck fuck fuck, i- i have no words. My brain just disappeared. Bye. Sayonara. No.

Quick fact cause it’s my turn and I’m just gonna take a break after to wash my brain with bleach. I need to get rid of the image of you having a tail around your dick. I don’t need that in my life.

I never had time for a serious relationship, and I wasn't mentally prepared to be in one, so I used to be in this situation with a guy I met once in a club. This shit went on for a few years. And it was fine; the sex was satisfactory but not sufficient. I'd moved on from the stage where all you want are empty things. We actually finished things a few days ago because we both did something stupid. The classic "oopsie, I moaned the wrong name" made us laugh, but it also made us realize that we are no longer enough for each other.

I picked up a lot of bad habits, like smoking and riding a motorcycle (this is a bad habit in Shouto's book, but I actually enjoy it), but I also picked up some good habits. He used to draw me after we had sex or in the middle of getting coffee. Little doodles and sketches. He would also draw on my skin if he didn't have any paper nearby. Beautiful flowers and amazing works of art covered my scars. So, I picked that as well, asked him to teach me the essentials, and now I'm probably on par with him.

Now that I'm writing this, I'm wondering why I've never been in love with him. Why couldn't I fall in love with him? But it's pointless to ask all of that now. It just wasn't meant to be.

If you had too much tmi, i fucked up with too many feelings,

Kacchan.

20th October, Wednesday, 12:21 PM 

Dear Too Many Feelings, I must admit

You scared the shit out of me. Alright, perhaps the best way to put it: I thought I fucked up. 

I might not be as panicked of a mess as I used to be, but the moment a week passed and there was no sign of a letter from you, my mind was racing with the several scenarios of you being absolutely done and revolted with my explicit ramblings about dicks, catboys and I don't even remember what else I put in it, but surely it must also have been stupid shit from yours dearly. Shortly, I can say these three weeks were too long, with one too many breakdowns over the fact that I might have messed up our developing whatever this thing between us is. The beginnings of a friendship? Letter pals? Something .

But then your letter arrived (I might have done a totally embarrassing happy dance. It was a satisfying one.), and I'm ashamed to say that I forgot the fact that you almost always take things in stride, no matter the topic. The fact that your letter opens with your quick explanation (it feels like you wrote all that in a hurry, which I never thought words could emulate feelings so visibly) and all the worries went out the window, and most likely will never return so congrats, you got yourself a tmi letter pal that will never stop being too tmi. 

Did you ever think that Shouto didn't want to tell you about my dick because he also never wanted to "see" it, so he deleted the whole thing from his memory as soon as it went into his head? Or he might have as well never seen it, and that's also for the best, because as I underlined in the last letter, that was not my dick, thank you very much. I never thought my identity being catfished will be bound to someone else's dick, but here we are, and I'm going to leave it at this, because it's beginning to sound ridiculous even for me. (I don't think slapping Shouto with kitchen towels will make him stop, Kacchan. The man has resilient pettiness. Also, good for the mutant monkey.)

And look, before I begin to ramble about how much more shameless America is compared to Japan and its own crazy horniness that borderlines on creepiness, I am quite worried about the fact that a mere fan succeeded in infiltrating your agency just to give you her panties and period blood in a wrapped up, fucked up present. Do you read these lines? A fan infiltrated a hero agency, Kacchan. What do I make of this? I'm beginning to fret. This is absurd. Who is in charge of security these days? Give me their name and address. I would want to send them a letter as well. A long one. 

Now, onto the TMI. Yes, Kacchan. I do, in fact, receive horny stuff from people without my consent. I can tell you from the variety of things, like free-roaming access to Onlyfans accounts, to somehow getting my phone always hacked with porn videos dedicated to me in my texts and very peculiar gifts that range from sex toys to more... weird shit, that yes, you're not alone. America has its own way of doing things (this is the perfect time to tell you that I moved from one of my last houses because I came home one day to find a hysterical fan in my bed, masturbating with my name on their lips. that was a weird Monday.) Who knew the Hero life could have this side of it? If mom ever finds out the thousands of situations that are completely sexual and sometimes not in the good way, she would absolutely faint.

(I shouldn't laugh at origin villain story jokes, having in mind my line of work, and yours , you asshole, but fuck you for making me choke on air with this one. I can't believe this shit. You're the ridiculous one this time.)

You're only refusing to accept yoga and leggings because you know that this is going to be your final, most powerful form, Kacchan. It's too powerful even for you. It's quite alright, I will somehow, someday, make you believe in yourself and welcome it with open arms. (Talking about milfs seems like another conversation that should not happen now. Also, can't believe you two are literally the epitome of The Power Of Shared Trauma that every shonen anime has. Think about that together, you and Shouto, because I don't believe the stuck together story you're trying to force upon me.)

Alright, Kacchan-san, let's not go that far. Holy spirit seems too much like a lie, and we both know you don't like lies.

(My ass is as safe as it can be, thank you for your concern. You protect yours as well.)

I will ignore you insulting my perfectly functional brain cells in favor of going nuts on your cat. Can't believe you really have one, and it's named Bubbles. You, have a cat. Named Bubbles. And that's mindblowing, and I would fly over Japan just for your cat, and I think someday this vibration in me will overpower anything else and you'll wake up with me at your doorstep, ready to pet and love your cat named Babbles. And of course she's a spoiled little thing, she's your cat. You're a spoiled brat as well, Kacchan, don't blame it on Shouto. You will never settle for less, you'll always crave the best. Of course your adorable kitten is just like you; Shouto was just delaying the inevitable. (Diamond collar sounds about right. I bet it has a small, jiggling bell. I want a picture of your cat, Kacchan. I already have a coo stuck in my throat just thinking about it.)

And for the love of God, never imagine a tail around my dick. That, alone, is making me want to give you new brain cells. Don't smear the image of your cute cat with a tail around my dick. Jesus. Please. Be pure, you asshole. Your cat doesn't deserve that. (Your screaming words were enough for me to know you didn't deserve it, either. I tainted you.)

You totally are a dad who never stops talking about his cat, which, cute. So cute.

I can't say that my relationships were serious, but I do think they had some substance; they weren't exactly empty, and I admit that I feel a lot, fast, and real. What I can say with some resemblance of confidence is that I kind of expected for you to be on the side of 'not serious at all'. It's not because of our history, or your past actions. But I feel like it would be out of your comfort, to share with someone so deeply. A relationship is a lot, and from what you've told me (you cherish comfort, like your house, your cat, the people you hold close to your chest), it makes sense for you to not want to delve into something so unpredictable, and sometimes destructive.

I would have told you that being in a casual relationship that goes on for several years is a kind of commitment as well, but then you go and tell me that you guys laughed because one of you moaned someone else's name during sex, and I could never do that, I don't think. Even if it would be called casual, even if we say we don't feel anything, I think the mere notion of a stranger's name on their lips would shatter me. That's where we're at opposite sides of a spectrum again, eh? 

But I guess there's some beauty that came from it, right? Having someone drawing flowers on your skin has to be a pleasant thing. Someone drawing you, even more. Learning to do it, getting something that becomes a part of you from a situation you would call uninhibited. My scars are too big and too many to be covered (i kind of don't want to cover them; they are a deeply-rooted pride, in a way), but the thought is almost wistful. (I bet you're pestering Shouto or Kirishima for some skin to practice on.) As for bad habits, I have nothing to say. I smoke too, picked it up like it was a need I thought I had, without any help from anyone. Motorcycles not so much, because I'm the type to go places by flying or jumping on buildings. (Though it suits you. Kacchan and motorcycles. :) It totally suits you.)

Love is not meant to be questioned, just like stars are meant to remain untouched. But wondering is only human, so I get it. I'm a wanderer, after all. 

It will come to you, Kacchan. Someday, when you're ready to feel it.

Fact(a lighthearted one): You know I was nominated as the Most Intimidating Hero of this generation? I wondered how, like any other Pro Hero who doesn't believe himself to be that scary. Is it my power, I asked? And surprise, Kacchan, they said not really. They said, your face, Deku. You have a pretty fucking terrifying expression when you're pissed. 

I thought about it, and I guess I can look like a crazed, green-electricity-wrapped clusterfuck of fury dumbass when I want to. 

Hurray me!

With a smile for Kacchan-san,

Deku :D

25th October, Monday, 12:12 AM

Dear Izuku,

Please keep your smile to yourself or I'll have a heart attack from the cuteness overload.

Oh my fucking god, you and you fucking dumbass, I can't believe you. So, instead of me being preoccupied with work as Japan's greatest hero, what if I just said fuck it and decided to fritter away this opportunity? Lame. You're in desperate need of some new brain cells. (It also does things to me, good things, that you did a stupid happy dance just because of my letter. Feelings and stuff like that.)

I'd like to say sorry for scaring you. I should have told you about my near-month-long disappearance into thin air. So get that stupid idea out of your little cute curly head, because no amount of dick talk and information about your kinks is going to scare me away.

Whatever you want to call it, this is what we have. I don't mind, and I’m way too busy to stress about labels now.  We are who we are. Bakugou and Izuku. Just sending letters to each other.  Izu, don't worry if you don't feel ready to put a label on this.

No, Izu, you have no idea how nosy Shouto has become. If something is trending on that fucking bird app, he'll be the first to know what's up, and this jerk doesn't have a filter. We would know if "your" dick had made it to Japan. I think he should have his own gossip magazine or podcast at times. Imagine Shouto Todoroki hosting a podcast where he spits on everyone while sipping hot tea on a Friday morning and discussing who fucked who the night before. Actually, fuck it, I'm going to encourage him to do that. (do I look like I care? No. I've done it before, and I'll continue to do it if I need to. Every day, the man will be slapped with wet kitchen towels, and he can shove his pettiness somewhere.)

Sir Big and Badass Izuku, try holding your goddamn horses. You ain’t gonna write shit. Leave my employees alone; they haven't done anything wrong. Security apprehended her as soon as they realized her intern ID was forged.  Also, funny story, I recall receiving a letter from some random lawyer informing me that I would be sued for not paying child support. Me. As a father. What the actual fuck. (Yes, we did a paternity test and the child wasn't mine, so I sued the girl for defamation and won the case because I'm also a petty bitch.)

What were your thoughts on that fan? Sorry, I was too preoccupied with BOOKING A FUCKING FLIGHT TO MURDER SOMEONE. Izuku, how the fuck do they get into your house? Hm? Someone can get into an agency because it's busy, but your OWN house? Invest in a guard dog or a security system. Stop being a jerk and start taking care of yourself. If a fucking stranger showed up at my fucking door trying to sexually assault me, I'd freak out. It's odd, now that I think about it, that no one knows where I live. It's been years, and they still haven't figured it out? Or do they get lost in one of my neighborhood's many back alleys? In any case, I'm glad my house is still a safe place, because you and Shouto require a whole new level of security. (He used to have this thing where people would just show up at his house, cook for him, and even clean it for him, leaving him with disgusting shit and other fucked up shit  He fucking found multiple condoms at his fucking door and even in his bedroom, all used and full of sperm. What the hell is wrong with these jerks?)

Oh my god, that was a hilarious joke. Actually, it's a very innocent one. Don't get your knickers twisted just because of that. Can we please, never fucking mention yoga? Like ever? Because I've seen that word so many times, I'm going to have nightmares. (We actually had a crying session while bitching about our miserable lives. And yes, dumbass, we bonded over trauma and shit like that. Happy?)

I believe Bubbles would adore you, so please pay her a visit if you ever find yourself in Japan. You'd be stuck with her in your lap for hours if she plopped herself in there. But I think, for both of us, it would be a win-win situation. Bring her treats as well; she enjoys them. I won't say I didn't contribute to her being spoiled, but believe me when I say Icy-Hot treats her like royalty. I had to sleep on the sofa once because the fucker was fast asleep in my bed with Bubbles, and they had taken up the entire bed. So, yes, the couch was waiting to meet me. (Yes, Shouto and I share the bed on occasion, and no, it's not weird.) Don't worry, I'll send you a picture of her.

What's the matter with my cat's tail? Bubbles' tail was never mentioned by me. I just assumed your ex-boyfriend had ears and a tail, so yeah. There's a tail. Plus, when did I become a prude? Hm? You wouldn't be able to taint me even if you tried your hardest. Todoroki, the fucking Todoroki, is my best friend. That says a lot. (Please, you monster, do not bring my pure Bubbles into this.)

Allowing someone else into this little safe haven I've created for myself feels like self-sabotage, so I try to stay as far away from it as possible. To make matters worse, commitment is a scary thing. I'm not sure how to explain this, but I doubt I'd be able to do so. Izuku, I don't trust myself or have the confidence to do it. It's just so unusual for me. It's the same when you're in love with someone. My inferiority complex, self-hatred, and everything else that's going on inside my head feels like it's going to eat me alive. I'll simply demolish what the other person is attempting to construct. And after all these years, I've come to the conclusion that love isn't for me… (We both sensed something wasn't quite right between us, and then we realized he's in love with someone else, and my mind is filled with somebody else, so it's funny that it took us so long to figure it out.)

Idiot, we weren't exclusive. He was seeing other people as well, and if he wasn't available, I'd take another person into bed. Our commitment was not the usual type of nonsense.

I don't think your scars can't be disguised with cute drawings and bright colors. Maybe one day I'll show you how to beautify your scars with flowers and random doodles.

I saw that in a magazine or an online article about how villains take a step back every time you confront them, and there was a small part about an idiot crying because you were so terrifying. Sorry, I don't recall much. But when you're mad, you can be terrifying. I felt that first-hand.

Now, here's a fact: Aizawa and I are still in contact, and we frequently have breakfast or dinner together to catch up on things. He served as my legal guardian for a period (this occurred shortly after you left), and I am grateful for everything he did for me.

I initially despised how he would try his hardest to communicate with me and simply try to get under my skin, but I later realized that he genuinely cared about me and was only trying to help. To me, he's like a father. We went to this small cafe for breakfast a few days ago (I believe he took me there, after he became my guardian and explained things to me. It's now our place,) and I told him about you. Regarding the fact that we talk and everything is fine. Izu, the smile on his face, I cannot explain to you, but he looked proud of me.

Anyway, it's getting late and I need to do some paperwork again, so good night Izuku,

Baku.

28th October, Thursday, 10:06 AM 

Dear I Need To Do Paperwork At Ass O'clock,

Because I know it was ass o'clock when you decided that paperwork was in need of completion. Alright, I won't get into this, because I have this very insistent, very predictable feeling that this letter will be transformed into Scolding Katsuki Bakugou Until I Have No Words Left In Me, and I don't really have the time because I just came from work, I may be writing this with a concussion and maybe a few cracked ribs, my suit is kind of so fucked up that it feels like I'm from one of those porn videos: Beat Up Pro Hero Fucking Twink Villain Who Beat Him Up(yes, this is a legit title, and it may have been one sent to me by a horny fan who thought we should recreate it; or it was one an American friend sent me, because I have very strange taste in friends, apparently.) 

Ok, I took a quick break from the letter to check if I really had cracked ribs, and the answer is a very bold yes, and you know what, I shouldn't have questioned it after years of being familiar with the feeling of ribs cracking after getting punched through four-five buildings in a row, but it's kind of funny that I still do it. It's like, every time my body breaks, my mind thinks of it as an itch that you don't know you have until you scratch it. Does this make sense? Am I speaking out of my ass because I'm clearly concussed and I should just go to the agency and get help? The real answer is yes. I might have to rewrite this whole thing after I conclude that is full of dumb typos. I might send it like this. It will depend on the shitty mood that I will have a few hours post-healing. My doctor is a very... peculiar fellow, you could say, and their quirk, while effective to the bone, leaves me with more mental scars than physical.

Ok, Ok, I'm back, and no, I didn't go to the agency, but I smoked a cigarette in the bathroom after I took my costume off, and now I can happily say that my head isn't swimming every few seconds and I decided to quickly write this before I go and I get patched up. So, sorry for rambling several paragraphs about the messy state I'm in. It felt good to just let it out on paper instead of smoking one too many cigs to get out my frustrations. Also, I am sure you're properly fuming at me right now, but you know what, Kacchan? I've always been the reckless one between the two of us, you gotta admit, so you could just think of this as a Deku thing that will never go away, because that's what it is, and perhaps that will make you feel better. Or maybe not. I tried. 

Now, onto your letter. Firstly, I still cannot wrap my head about your friendship with Shouto Todoroki. Like, really. Think about it from my perspective? I've left in our third year, when you guys were still kind of hostile with each other(or you were; Shouto was more like... indifferent, or at least tried to talk to you peacefully.) And now you're talking about encouraging him to make a shameless podcast. You're sleeping in a bed with him, sharing a bed. You basically a raising a cat together with him, you're beating him up with fluffy kitchen towels like an angry housewife . Househusband? Let's just say house spouse, because whatever. Do you get it? It's kind of mind-blowing still. It's been weeks since we've first started writing to each other, and I'm still gaping whenever you tell me something about you two. And I'm sure your relationship with our other former classmates is doing so much better as well. I'm sure you and Kirishima are just as close as you were, and I'm sure Denki is around you constantly. And Mina. And Sero! I'm kind of proud, in a weird way. 

(Now I will write about how I busted a goddamn lung just thinking about the rumors of your alleged love-child spreading throughout Japan like fucking crazy: I busted a goddamn lung. So hard. Oh, Pro Hero life shenanigans. You love and hate to experience it. I have no such story to tell you, but that's alright with me. I have no future kids in mind for the time being.)

I already love the idea of having my lap full of a purring cat. I don't care how many hours; I will move my whole life on that couch if that's what your precious, spoiled cat wants. You know... Perhaps having a cat is what made you begin with these shocking nicknames you're throwing towards me. I'm sure you're going around the house spewing every nickname possible towards Bubbles. Or I'm just still talking out of my ass, because you've always had a thing for nicknames, but the difference is their feeling. Like, your UA nicknames were kind of... flavourful, whereas these ones feel... tender. In a way. Sweet. It makes me remember this Pro Hero partner I had that would always be flustered whenever I would call her darling or sweetheart, even though I was doing it in a dry way, because she used to irk the shit out of me most of the time. 

Yes, that's right. My patience isn't what it used to be. You'd be proud to see my mood swings, haha. They're a terrible, stretched thing, even if it doesn't have that often.  Point is, I haven't had a partner in a year or so, and that should tell you enough. 

I'll be waiting for that picture of Bubbles. 

I'm not even gonna reopen the discussion of tails, or tainting you(though, for a second I was tempted to accept that hidden challenge you put in there. don't tempt me more.) The Shouto Todoroki. I can't stand your fucking ass right now.

Alright, diving into deep territory. You were talking about labels at the beginning of the letters, (i didn't touch that matter because my fuzzy brain couldn't work with it. still concussed, but whatever.) and I'd like to extract from that and say that the label of commitment, relationship, might be what is stabbing daggers into your back when it comes to it. I'm not saying I know better, and that you don't know what you're talking about. I would never claim that I know you better than you know yourself. Why the ever-loving fuck would I, when I haven't seen or talked to you in years. But. But, I can tell you what I've been reading from you, and while yes, I gathered that your zone of comfort is indeed, very limited in terms of space, of elasticity, I could also say you're capable of it just from the way you've evolved some things that I never thought you will. Your friendship with Shouto, for example, is one of them, and you can't tell me that it was a fluid thing. Not with how it started. You guys are a literal contrast, yet with some time, with some effort, you made a vast space for him in your life. Your relationship is not feeble, is not casual, and it has a type of commitment that doesn't need to be labeled. It's just there. And it's wonderful.

Of course, friendships and romantic relationships are totally, utterly different. But, they're both still a bond, so while you wrote it on your life's wall that you're not made for romantic whatsoever, I will take an impulsive guess and say you're just not prepared for it. To delve and decide that it doesn't need to be labeled, it doesn't need to be something big. It just needs to start slow, and develop, and it doesn't need to be stressed over. You never destroyed what you and Shouto have built together, and while ours is cracked beyond repair, I can say with confidence that it will never collapse. To tie it all off; we always evolve, for better or worse, don't write yourself off just yet. All your negatives will someday, possibly, transform into positives without even realizing. Or they will remain negatives, and they will be accepted, just like all the people in your life until now did. 

But yea, we're heroes. I will not delve into the dangers of bonds in the guts of our careers. Villains have that twisted pleasure of always going for them, eh? I can safely say that I'm not beyond thinking that some bonds are merely impossible sometimes, after all, the majority of my relationships were with fellow Pro Heroes who could be put in harm's way without any doubts if anything were to ever happen in that way. It's not like most of them weren't a mess. Well. I really, really won't delve into this aspect. 

(On a lighter note,  know you will notice that I haven't talked about how a fan got into my house, but I think talking about my nonexistent sense of security or even the lack of concern over it will make you have some breakdowns that end up with you screaming bloody murder at me so... I will just. Say that I'm alright! I'm totally alright. And I will continue to be, because I'm me. :) )

I will once send you a magazine that wanted me just for the impressive number and size of my scars, and you will see just how covered in them I am, Kacchan. If I remember correctly, when I was still in Japan, only my hands and arms had them. Now... you could say that the only place that remained smooth might be my fucking ass and dick. Which is kind of hilarious, because for some reason, villains love to try and punch me in the crotch. Fucking perverts, some of them. Things is, I'm comfortable with how I am. It's visible that my body was never made for a Hero’s life(with my inherited quirk and all that), and I'm totally ok with that. I'm proving the world wrong, right? That's an accomplishment in itself. 

One day I will develop a God complex just from people telling me I'm known for scaring villains off with just a look, and no one will be able to stop me then. Not that many can even now, anyway. Ha. 

Now, after two hours of writing this mess of a letter, concussion-related breaks included, I can attempt my freak out over the fact that Aizawa is totally your fucking dad. Holy shit, Kacchan. Aizawa-sensei is your fucking dad. Alright, I might be too concussed to properly emulate the shit I'm feeling over this right now, b ut. BUT. The simple thought of you two going on weekly hangouts is so fucking adorable, my cheeks hurt from smiling. My whole chest hurts from smiling. I just imagine him questioning what you did all week, how was work, what villain you beat the shit out of. And now I’m manifesting the mental image of Aizawa-sensei coming to visit you with gifts for Bubbles. 

It makes me remember the days where he was taking care of Eri. It's a sort of bittersweet nostalgia. I've heard so many great things about her. And I'm proud, and I miss those days, and at the same time, I'm so fucking happy. He helped her greatly, and I'm sure you feel the same way about your situation.

The conclusion of all this: Dad Aizawa for the win.

Now my fact: A year ago, I took on a mission where I had to infiltrate a prospering novice underground villain group that was starting to cause real problems so I could end it from within. My guilty confession to you will be: It kind of felt incredible to play the role of a villain for a bit. I might be a bit insane, Kacchan, because those days made me into a smug bastard who had twirled many around his finger, and I don't regret it even after all this time. 

Don't get me wrong, my whole existence yearns for a Hero's life even after years of being a Pro Hero, but I can admit that it was a special type of experience, and that I'm really good at playing the bad guy.

... Alright, post-concussion Deku here. Maybe my nomination for most terrifying Hero of this generation is not so farfetched, now that I read the shit that I'm writing. Crazy shit. 

Whatever. :D 

With a laugh on his lips, 

Deku

Chapter Text

30th October, Saturday, 1:05 AM

How the fuck can you end that fucking letter with “a laugh on his lips”,

I know very well the fact that when this letter will reach you, you're gonna be just fine and as lively as always but this doesn't stop me from screaming at you. I don’t have fucking words to describe how fucking stupid can you be. You got a few cracked ribs and a concussion and the first thing that you did when you got home was to fucking answer my stupid letter? Are you fucking serious? And instead of getting yourself fixed by someone with a medical quirk, you decided to just fucking smoke, and what? Hope that those ribs will stick back together because of the smoke? How fucking dumb can you fucking be, Izuku? 

I am so fucking close to fucking calling Inko to tell her to fucking check you in a fucking mental Insitute cause you're fucking insane. How can you do that to yourself? You said that I'm that one that needs to take care of himself cause I'm a fucking wreak but you? What about you, dumbass? Stop worrying about me and my paperwork and start worrying about your own fucking bones. Maybe for you, another destroyed bone means nothing when you're so used to them, but not for me. If I ever get the fucking chance to see your fucking face in person, I wanna see you while standing on your own two fucking legs, healthy and all of that shit. I know that you're reckless but that really doesn't stop me from wanting to pack a bag and get straight to the airport so I can come to you and beat your fucking ass. ( actually, Todoroki is kinda standing in front of the main door, with a spray bottle that we use to get Bubbles down from specific places, and he also has this terrifying look on his face. And you know what? I chose life today.) So please, take care of yourself, Izu. Please.

On a lighter note, things between me and Shoto started in the middle of a villain attack, actually. It happened in the December of our third year and I jumped straight in like an absolute idiot, and ended up getting badly injured, like, kinda-near-dying-bad-injured. A terrifying moment, a very intense one where everything around was just fading away and all the screams were just white noises. I think that was when I realized that everything I did in the past were just miserable tries to survive, to prepare myself for a situation like that. Anyway, skipping all the fucking details that we don't need now, Shouto found me in a pool of my own blood, with hypothermia and going in and out of consciousness. He used his fire quirk to warm me up and the idiot ripped a big part of his hero costume to stop my bleeding. He called for backup and didn't leave my side for the next two months. So yeah, I owe him my life and we just,,, need each other.

The rest of our former classmates are extremely busy so we don't have that many opportunities to see each other but we try. We try to stay in touch and call at least 3 times a week or visit in our free days. Kinda hard but I'm happy that we didn't fall apart after graduation. (On our last day in the dorms, Kirishima got all of us in the living room and just start bawling his eyes out, choking on a sob and saying that he's so afraid of losing his friends, and I think this is why we still trying to be there for each other we are kinda afraid of losing something that's a part of us.)

You know, if you put that adorable image in my head, ( cause yes, it's such a cute thing to think about it. Green and white combined together. Blue and green eyes looking at me. Oh my God, I might faint just from that small thing) you're not getting away with the fact that you're a self-destructive maniac. 

Maybe these nicknames are sweeter because there's a reason behind them. Who knows. But the fact that you called your old partner “sweetheart” and “darling” but as a sassy petty bitch is making me laugh. Seems like I'm not the only tease here, Izu.

I'm not gonna start once again with the sentimental shit about labels and commitment, cause it's already too much for me. Just wanna say that I'm grateful that you're understanding all of this and you're not trying to push me in giving details that I don't wanna resurface (cause for the love of fucking god, this is not a therapy session and not even a Monday so let's just end it here, ok?). Also, I appreciate all the support from those two paragraphs. Helps a lot with the shit that's just trying to tell me otherwise. 

I kinda want to add something to that, because today, when Shouto came back inside with all of our letters and useless shit that the postman is throwing in our mailbox, he slapped me across the face with one of those fancy houses pamphlets. Izuku, he marked a page where was this big ass fucking penthouse that was incredibly fucking expensive, and I think was somewhere on the 30th floor or something like this and I don't fucking know what to fucking say. Should I be offended that he's still trying to make me move when he knows I love this little space or should I be amazed and kinda grateful that he's down to buy a new house for us, and especially a fucking penthouse. Don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful house but I'm still not gonna move out. Not even if this bitch tries to fucking burn down my apartment, not even if he's fucking throwing a set of keys to my face and telling me to pack my shit and just go. I just don't want to. 

But I also feel kinda bad for rejecting any kind of help he's trying to give me regarding this situation and I know that my place is small for two people and a cat. (cause this fucker is basically living with me at this point) He's just trying to make things more comfortable to us, to all of us, and there's me, still stubborn as a fucking donkey but as I said, I'm not ready for that commitment, to go out of my comfort zone and I think, maybe one day, with the right person I will do it. I will step out of my little square and give them all. 

This makes me wanna ask you, what would you do? Would you be able to finally stay in one place for the right person? To just give up on your freedom? Would you?

(I don't trust that “I'm alright!” at all, you motherfucker, but I can't do anything about it but just to scream at you from time to time to be careful.) 

Do please send me that magazine and I will show you what I can do. I can say that I consider scars to be something beautiful now, even if they are “ugly”. They tell stories, proof that a person overcame some dark and miserable times and in the end, they are a permanent reminder that we are still alive. We won. This topic reminds me of another funny story, you gonna love this.

It happened like three years ago, on a Friday evening. Todoroki, Kirishima, Denki, Mina, and Sero were all over to my place and we had a few drinks, just getting tipsy considering that all of us had a 3 days vacation. That night we found out that Kiri and Shouto have a low tolerance to alcohol and as Kirishima was wobbling thru my kitchen in search of food, he somehow tripped me and spilled something on the floor, which made me trip even worse. Shouto panicked and used his ice to kinda catch me, but the fucker was wasted so he missed me by a few millimeters, cutting the side of my ribcage. (don't worry it wasn't bad, but I needed a few stitches after that) We spent the rest of the night in the emergency room trying to explain to the nurses how all of my friends ended up in a fucking knot in the floor and how the fuck I got an ice burn plus a cut on my side and why the fuck the famous Pro hero Shouto is in a corner looking like a ball of pure gloom. If I remember right, I also had some wet spaghetti in my hair because I tried to grab the pot in my meeting with the floor.

Also, be careful. Your fanbase is gonna get bigger once they know you have a God complex. Some of those fuckers are just into that. 

Why are you fangirl-ing over my “dad”? Fucking god, Deku, please stop. Yes we go out, yes we ask questions, yes he is visiting and shit but how is this different from what you had with All Might? Explain to me. (Eri is doing so well and she misses you. A lot. Please send her at least a pic or a letter. I'm tired of her never-ending story about the boy with green eyes and lovely green thunders around him that saved her. She never got over that.)

Sorry, I just had this small thing in my head with you as a villain and be ready to beat your ass cause fucking Shigaraki would be a fucking summer rain compared to you. Please never astray yourself from being a hero. Cause if you do, you're gonna be the death of all Pro Heros. Mine especially.

Fact of the day:  Jirou, besides a Pro hero, is a singer as well and on many occasions, I helped her with some background vocals or just being a drummer to some of her concerts. I always try to hide my identity because I don't want any of that wanna-be rockstar fame. I am happy with what I have. 

There's a full song that she posted on her Instagram a few months ago, from her studio with me singing my heart out.

With a lot of anger and worry,

Katuski.

2nd November, Monday, 8:27 AM

That Laugh Was Amused, Please Stop Screaming :(

Honestly, I took a few days to collect the proper words to write in this letter, because your first paragraph sounded... hard to pass by, and I wanted to tread carefully even though I'm perfectly fine, Kacchan. It was not my first rodeo, nor will it be my last. All I can say... Please, don't be angry with me anymore. Pretty please, Kacchan?

Concussions are not something light, yea, but I'm a stubborn bastard. I can handle them just fine, don't worry. Please try to not put Shouto in a sourer mood than I'm sure he's already in right now. Honestly, the man is armed from what you've told me. Watch your steps.

But. I will admit that it's kind of nice... To have someone worry for me so fiercely once in a while. Not that I don't have people who don't care about me here, but I came to America with a reputation etched into my Hero name, even if I wasn't a Pro Hero at the time, and it only grew from there. Here, I'm Deku most of the time, and while I love it, it's also the thing that opens: "Why would people worry over some flimsy wounds? It's the Symbol Of Peace we're talking about." And yea, I'm fine, they're right, but hey, that doesn't mean a guy can't ask for a bit of.. let's say coddling, but that's not really it. It's more like... I want to be asked if I'm good, that's all. I don't want people treating me like I'm a fragile doll ready to break at any second, because I'm far from that as one can be. (thought your angry rants about how I'm a fucking batshit insane idiot and the threatening to come here to beat my ass was almost as good as a simple "u ok" so thanks.  ̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶a̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶w̶̶̶a̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶a̶̶̶s̶̶̶a̶̶̶n̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶i̶̶̶t̶̶̶s̶̶̶ ̶̶̶o̶̶̶w̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶w̶̶̶a̶̶̶y̶̶̶,̶̶̶ ̶̶̶l̶̶̶o̶̶̶v̶̶̶e̶̶̶.̶̶̶)̶̶̶

I wasn't planning on worrying you like that, though. It felt like I sent a drunk letter, and it's ridiculous, but I guess I did sound a bit drunk in it. What can I say, I am, as you think, truly fucking insane once every few days. But I can assure you, Kacchan, that it won't stop(is it really assurance? sorry haha.) I mean, you said it yourself, I need to worry more about myself, sure, but I won't do it because it's not in my conscience to do so. It never was. I take care of myself, but I don't worry. I might feel like a smug bastard right now(maybe I am), but I'm confident in my skills and how much my body can take. And the villains I'm fighting aren't exactly League of Villains level. 

With that out of the way(be at peace, I'm really ok), why am I not surprised to hear your whole inseparable best friend situation was born from an almost kissing death shenanigan? For one, I'm glad Shouto was there to save your ass (I will refrain from rambling about your careless aforementioned ass at the time because I feel like I have no right at the moment), and I'm also glad he stuck around. You're good for each other(this felt like you guys are in a totally different type of relationship, which... feels weird to even think about. You and Shouto falling in love. I just shivered.) The fact that it escalated to the point where you're raising a cat together could be called amusing, but I'm sure if I was there, in Japan, I would be melting every time I would visit you guys.

It's a nice thought. It's something I would put away in the back of my mind. Who knows. :)

On another subject, Kirishima always was the softest guy out of all of us. I remember a time when I would cry easily, at almost everything. Can't say I miss it, but I also don't like the fact that it doesn't come as easy to just tear up nowadays. This is what life does, right? Roughens the edges, beats up every little innocuous detail about oneself. I'm hoping Kirishima still has that upbeat feel about him that made his whole being glow, and that Mina still has her mischief and boldness. And many other things about our friends that I miss like I miss a part of myself. Goddamnit, I miss you assholes. I fucking miss you. 

(Please. The most adorable thing about all of this is the image of you, messy blond hair and drowsy red eyes, sleeping with a fluffball of pure white cuddled next to you. I would fucking let out a squeak if I ever witness something like that in front of me, and my voice is not that high anymore, so you can say it would be a struggle that I will go through just because of you.)

Self-destructive maniac sounds about right. But also, I'm more sturdy mentally than that, Kacchan, please. :) Shh.

(My petnames, ironic, or not, are nothing compared to what you say sometimes, they're small play. Don't delude yourself. If I really wanted to tease you properly, you would have felt it. Glad I made you laugh, though.)

I'm not going to reopen the subject of relationships and commitment exactly because of you. I will sit quiet, because what fun would it be to make you in any way uncomfortable with what we're talking about? What fun would it be to bring something unpleasant to your mood, when all I want is to get to know the you of now, and to make you feel like I'm something dear to you? When you're ready, just know that I'm always here, to ramble to you about anything you want and feel comfortable with.

First of all, the thought of Shouto hitting you randomly with house pamphlets yanked a loud laugh out of me. That shit's hilarious, exactly because I know he has an impressive aim, and your face will never be ready for it, even if you're amazing in your own right. (I have to admit that it's heartwarming, just how far he's taking it just for you three to be ok, and cozy, but I can also get your almost obsessive way of not wanting to part ways with your home. And yea, you might feel bad, but Kacchan, don't ever think that you're selfish for choosing how to live, and how to be. I'm sure that if the house was truly not good for you three, you would've made the sacrifice. We're all entitled to your own little zones of solace.) 

I don't understand it, because if it was me, I would've said yes to all the houses he would've shown me. (I'm that much of a sucker for moving around.) What you're asking of me now, though, is a bit difficult to respond to. It's a tricky one, alright. 

Would I? I don't know. I never had a significant other that made me want to abandon all my selfishness, that made me want to at least try. So I don't know the right feeling, I can't really reply honestly right now. I guess I just need to wait and see if I find someone worth giving all my world for, and then I will tell you, Kacchan. Maybe they'll make me so gone for them, I will give up my Pro Hero career and become just a full-time simp. :) Joking. But, I am a dumbass with yearnings, and I don't think it would be too difficult for me to agree to some changes if there will ever be someone that makes me feel like all I need is them by my side. 

(Your screaming is nostalgic.)

Thinking about you attempting to paint flowers on my skin is too much right now. Be right back, I'm gonna go find something to eat and keep me distracted from the fact that you implied that you would draw on my skin. 

Alright, now. I can't fucking believe how all your brilliant brain cells just disappear as soon as you invite some people over and touch alcohol. That's fucking hilarious. Goddamn. Now I want to get you drunk, wanna introduce you to my crazy friends because they would love that kind of energy. Shoto being a lightweight makes so much sense, what the fuck. I can almost imagine him hiccuping a petulant apology as he tries to gently nurse you back to health, like a proper tsundere. I wish I could've been here, but I already know that my reaction would have been different from the one I think I might have now. The Deku of Japan, the one you all knew, would have been trembling with worry over you. The me of now would pat you on the head and coo at you and your cute scowl and all that spaghetti in your hair.

(What's not to fangirl over? Aizawa as your dad figure makes sense, and it's adorable. It has a totally different feeling from me and All Might.) You're keeping in touch with Eri? Oh, God, that's... I need a moment for that to sink in. I will come back with a proper fucking babble about what I feel about that.

I don't know if I should feel offended that you said Shigaraki is small shit compared to villain me, or if I should let my ego inflate even more. Maybe both. The thought that you would ever feel terrified of me feels peculiar. (Are you trying to feed my developing God Complex even more? You're doing too well of a job. Stop it.)

I'm not ready for your voice in a song. I'm not ready for it on a normal day. What are you trying to do to me, Kacchan? I feel like this is a trap. You're the one trying to end me. Through your voice. I'm not falling for it at the moment. I need to prepare myself. (I'm so proud of Jirou, though. :( Love that for her.)

My fact now: I'm still a disaster at cooking. I almost murdered my kitchen two days ago(you were talking about houses burning down, mine might be if I continue like this.) I can almost imagine one headline from those annoying paparazzi going for "Deku, a danger to society at the stove?" and the whole thing actually blowing up in a serious manner. 

It's unnerving. 

With burnt food still on my kitchen counter,

Deku

6th November, Friday,  5:53 AM

Dear, Izuku batshit-crazy-green-eyes-bastard Midoriya,

I wanna start this by saying that I do not give a flying fuck how it is not your first rodeo or shit, just take care. That's all I'm asking and I will not go further with this topic cause I don't wanna nag you thru all this letter. 

To be honest with you, my brain is all fuzzy right now. I don't really know why but I'm gonna go for a wild guess and say that I might go down with a cold. Why the fuck do I have to be here, ass freezing just for going outside to throw away the trash and you get to be on a beach in fucking California, enjoying a fucking fancy cocktail while sunbathing? Life ain't fair. (can I sue someone for this? Cause I really want to. I want to have my ass kissed by warm sunshine as well.)

If this letter is kinda messed up, I'm sorry, but I'm kinda in a weird position, trying to write this while sitting on top of Shouto( don't think about anything weird, Izuku. His left side is just a big hand warmer thingy.) and he's giggling saying that “he's ticklish”. So yeah.

Also, what the fuck did you just scribble out? I tried kinda everything to y’know, find out (cause it was way too long to just be a writing mistake), didn't work out, and gave up after like twenty minutes.

Yeah, Kirishima had that soft boy thing with him, and he still is one, even if he looks like a fucking mountain with a lot of scars and even sharper teeth. He's a very scary teddy bear that is able to hug you until you're not breathing anymore. Mina as well, she got a lot scarier but on the inside, she's still the girl we met at the beginning of our first year in UA. I heard from Kirishima that once she used Sero’s tape to tape Kaminari to a fridge. Why? I have no idea and I don't wanna know or be her next victim. No thank you.

(just gonna talk about this here cause I don't wanna forget about it later) Yes I'm still in touch with Eri, she kinda had a hard time after you left, but she never let you go, in her own way. She always carries this keychain with her that's a mini figurine with you (I got that for her a few years ago, for Christmas, she was so happy to have it) and when someone asks her about her favorite hero, your name is that one she says. Kinda hurts, but for her, you and Mirio are something that no one can replace. And like I said before, she misses you a lot, so please get in touch with Aizawa and ask to talk with her. You will make her day, Izu.

(I also miss you, but I think you already knew that.)

I'm also not gonna say anything about that vivid image you had with me and Bubbles, cause I do have one of my own as well, but I would like to keep it a secret for now. Believe me, when I say, that is what truly beautiful is, that vivid image that lives rent-free in my head. 

Talking about heads, please never pet my fucking head. Get that shit away from me. And really? Coo at me? What the actual fuck, Izuku?

I'm kinda happy to hear that you would be a full-time simp for the person you love, its,,, a comforting thought? In a weird way, but you know what I wanna say. Giving all that you have for a single person that slowly becomes your whole world. A sacrifice from you for yourself. 

Not gonna stop feeding that God complex of yours. Why should it when you with a God complex is the ultimate for you to achieve? Hm? Just imagine, you, a God, in this flirty world. An entity that can make all of this the right way. Worshiped and loved without limits. Sounds good, right?

Sorry if this letter is shorter than usual, but my brain will not function at all, and I kinda hate it, cause I wanna talk with you, I wanna ramble about all the stupid things I can think about and I wanna tell you that you're still an idiot that should not be able to have any knives or a stove near and how the fuck did you manage to burn a fucking carpet? Like just how? (did you throw the pan on the carpet or did you throw the carpet over the flaming pan? Tell me, I'm really curious)

But yah, also, petnames, please do it. I wanna see what you have up your sleeve that girls and boys over there are so in love with your ass and how you made your ex-partner all flustered and shit. So, hit me with the best you have, and I will come with my best, only for you, my darling.

Oh, the song, it's not a trap, I just feel like you will like that one, kinda a cover for the Dark Red. I know, I know, not really my type of music but you should give it a try, Izuku. I'm also not trying to end you or other bullshit. I just,,, I don't know, tried to show you a new part of me? Give you something that's, in a small way, special for me?

It is near 6 am so I should head back to bed ( i woke up from a nap to write to you back, so enjoy this motherfucker) so just let me tell you the fact of the day before doing that.

There's a small beach near where I live and when something happens or shit gets bad on my end, I go there and I stare at the waves. 

That small beach is a second home to me, I found it a long time ago, and I kinda feel bad that I never showed it to you, cause its beautiful, Izu. A calm and lonely place. Come back so I can take you there as well.

Now I'm gonna go to bed, night Izuku,

Kats.

P.S: drawing on your skin, would be my first time doing it. I never did it for anyone else. :)

12th November, Friday, 8:50 pm

Dear What The Fuck,

I think this is the first time when I consider delving a bit into our past, and the things that happened, and I will do it just because it can't be contained anymore. It's not comfortable to talk about it, even if we made peace with the whole thing, yet I still can't bring myself not to try and explain just how strange, good strange, it is to be able to see such sides of you.

When we were little I could barely see anything out of you than the normal, the usual. Be it angry glares or just nothingness, or sometimes even a bit of surprising compliance that perhaps wasn't particularly for me. It's no secret that I wanted more from you. I admired you even more than All Might at the time, I wanted our relationship, as complicated as it was, and as constipated as we both were over it, to be more.

Now it's more, and it's fucking wrecking me, what the fuck. Do you understand how cuddly you sounded in the whole thing, Kacchan? If we were face to face at that moment and you were to say anything from what you've told me in that letter, you would have been witness to a very chaotic breakdown of mine. No joking. I think I paced my whole apartment with your letter in hand, making weird sounds throughout it. 

First of all(though it's not, because I rambled like three paragraphs already, but whatever), I hope the cold left you, Kacchan. Colds are nasty, and sometimes(or maybe it's just me) they affect me in terrifying ways. Like, there was this one time where I thought going to work sick wouldn't be a big thing. I wasn't feeling that bad, just had a stuffy nose and a mild headache, and being a hero doesn't stop just because of that, right? Let's just say it should. Who could have known that my powers could be influenced by something like that? It's funny now that I think about it, but it wasn't very fun when my partner of that time received a full-fledged flash of lighting in the stomach. Full Cowl doesn't really like to adhere to my commands when I'm sneezing seven times per second, I learned.

(I will ignore the fact that Shouto knows how to giggle just for my sanity alone. I'm already too fucking stupefied to compute that as well.)

My scribbling wasn't really that important, don't worry your pretty head about it. :)

You know, I gotta be totally honest with you. Letters are sometimes hard to write. Like, really hard. It's like my hand won't move over the paper, and if it does, I'm a bit afraid of writing something not worth writing (not in the bad way, not really. it's just...) and then having to throw it and begin again. There are lots of things to touch on, I want to respond to everything you write to me(which was hard from the start, but hopefully, we're gonna find a better rhythm) and also write to you about the stuff I want to write about. So yea, it's difficult, and you, darling, are not doing me favors with the stuff you say. Firstly, it wrecks me, and when I'm wrecked I go into this self-defensive mode that is not really self-defense and more like and-what-do-i-do-now. Like you saying you miss me. Well fuck.

Well fuck. 

Ok, I took a break from it because I was beginning to ramble about stuff that might even not make sense and I don't want to re-do the letter(and that's what I'm talking about. why is it so hard to just write?  my emotional constipation, probably.) I just had a sandwich that was kinda good, kinda. Waved at a neighbor through my big as fuck windows, though I don't understand why he was staring, or maybe I do because I'm shirtless and yesterday I had a rough fight with a villain and my left side looks like it's been through hell and back. But well. (I will not begin with this again, I'm taking care of myself, don't worry). 

The fact that you and Eri are seeing each other and talking and keeping in touch does things to me that can't even be explained(like how it can't be explained as to why Mina wants to tape everyone to fridges? I swear to God she is going to overthrow all of us somehow.) Eri was like... She is someone I hold very dear even today, and I'm sad that I haven't spoken to her in years. Perhaps if I was still living in Japan, we would have had a better relationship, maybe even one where I would be a permanent fixture in her life. That's a nice thought. Honestly, these days I'm having many thoughts about being there for certain people, for certain reasons, and is really getting to me. Ha.

I don't know if I can muster the courage to ever attempt to contact her after all this time where I did nothing. It feels like it's a failure on my part, and it kinda aches. Maybe this is a part of me that remains small and cowardly. Maybe. 

Keeping secrets, huh? Not surprising. I might have some things about you that I'm keeping to myself(assuming yours are about me at all.) But it's alright, right? We're just doing what we think is best, and right now they are not ready to come out for you. Maybe one day. :) Maybe not. Let's see how it goes.

(You are kind of too adorable for me not to coo at you. I think you secretly would enjoy it, Kacchan. Just a small inkling.) 

You know, reading you say that you're glad I have some resemblance of simping in me is kinda amusing. Not untrue, but amusing. It's so different from what the people around me are saying. I guess perspectives are the distinction. My friends tell me I'm surprisingly nonchalant about everything around me. You're reading this? Me? Nonchalant about stuff? I guess it's a part of an overthinker. Or maybe my bitch resting face got this good. Yea, sure, I might not react much outside, but inside my head, there are several chibi Dekus going on a rampage about everything and anything around me. It's really funny now that I think about it. My somewhat best friend tried to play wingmate for me and combine me with this dude, but by the end of the night, I guess my expression scared him off somehow because I was told he left, utterly intimidated. 

Why is stuff like this happening more and more? I used to be told I was an adorable, messy, wreck. Now people look at me like I might punch them all the way to another country. 

But yea, coming back to the main subject. Simping is the way of love. Alright, I laughed writing this shit. But it's true. You gotta simp sometimes for the people you love, right? If you think(harder) about it, I kinda did all my life in my own way. I simped. :) It's not hard to see. Just think about it more. 

(I will listen to it tonight. I will take a big breath, and listen to your voice sing words into my ear. Damn.)

To be honest, I'm not that much of a beach guy. Surprising, right? Not much of that sunbathing you were talking about. I don't know. It just doesn't do it for me. I much prefer the cold, the mountains, the snow. But.  But, if you take me to the beach(I have a specific image in my head about all this), I wouldn't be opposed to go. At all. 

My fact of the letter: Now that we're talking about singing, I can admit that I can't get Shivers out of my head. I have been humming the lyrics for weeks now. Strangely, it makes me warm inside, maybe fluttery and all that crap... Wonder why. Hm. 

still with Shivers in my head,

your childhood sweetheart.

4th December, Saturday, 2:52 am

Hello once again, 

Yes, I know, I'm a jerk for disappearing yet again, but bear with me as I explain why.

First, when I read the first three paragraphs of your letter, I panicked, and I still had a terrible cold for the next two weeks, so I wasn't able to respond. I apologize for that. (To be honest, I've considered saying fuck it with these letters and asking for your phone number, but hey, the letters have their magic and I like them, so I'll just keep struggling with them for a little longer.) Then December arrived, and, god, I despise this month so much. So many bad things have happened this time of year, and I'm not in the best of moods. Please don't be concerned; it's nothing major; just some random shitty thoughts.

I know you despise it when I apologize for everything I've done in the past, but I truly mean it. Even now, the fact that you, Izuku Midorya, said you admired me, a fucking brat, more than All Might himself, leaves me speechless. How ignorant and dumb was I be back then? I might have to time-travel and punch the shit out of my younger self because I couldn't see that admiration in your big eyes. Stupid fucking obnoxious brat,

Izuku, in the name of everything, next time you're sick, stay in the fucking house. Imagine what could’ve happened if you were forced to use 100% of your power and you were sick. That’s a fucking danger to society. Keep your ass inside and order some soup. (After the cooking incident you told me about, I don't trust you enough to say 'make yourself a soup.' no fucking way.)

Your statement that your scribble was unimportant has piqued my interest even more. What are you trying to hide, mister? Don't you forget, I'll find out one day.

Also, you’re right about this shit is so hard. Cause even now, I’m sitting on the floor with all these fancy papers that Shouto got me when it all started, and they just crumble one by one, while I stare at yours like it's some kind of ancient papyrus that I'm trying to decipher and it's not going my way. And sometimes, sometimes, I can't stop myself from writing; words pour onto the paper like raindrops on a rainy day, in the middle of October. Beautiful words for someone who is just like them. Beautiful. This is why, as I aforementioned, I keep wanting to do this instead of texting, because at the end of the day, when I'm at the post office dropping off your letter, I feel a sense of satisfaction. Because I did it once more. I was successful in expressing myself to you in such a way that only you and I are aware of it. A sense of satisfaction that my words are once again reaching you and eliciting all of those adorable and amusing reactions.

So, even if it's hard and some day I'm cursing myself for sending a letter and not an email, I still want to stick with this, Izuku. Please bear with my selfish request for just a little longer, ok?

(I miss you terribly, asshole. A few days ago, me and Shouto were looking for some pictures and found our school album. Now I wish I had more pictures with you.)

I'm glad to hear you're looking after yourself and not skipping meals. You did a fantastic job, kiddo. Keep it that way.

You'd better gather your courage until Christmas and write her a goddamn letter so I can puff my chest and tell her it's my special present for her. This year, I have to win. (Every year, Aizawa and I have this competition where we try to outdo each other with Eris' gifts.  And believe me when I say that nothing beats a letter from you to her. And, in case you're wondering, I never won that competition. I'm always one step behind the sly old fox.) So, Izu, put those pointless insecurities aside and contact her. You're still her hero.

Also, isn't it a little self-centered to assume that my secrets are about you? What, do you want to be on my mind all the time, Izuku? Is that your new purpose? Hearing that I have a place there, in your mind that is constantly running with things and facts about me, is a very pleasant thing to know. Keep doing what you're doing, dear.

Don't. Coo. At. Me. Just,,, don't. 

Did you just,,, tell me that you have chibi Dekus in your mind? I– oh my– no comment on that. Wait, I do have a question though. Do they all run around screaming and pressing the emergency or a red button when you're embarrassed or when you have a breakdown because of me? That's something I'd like to know. Of course, for scientific reasons.

Don't be sad, that type of crap endears to some people. If you look in the right places with that murderous look of yours and some punching, you might find someone. Something like a BDSM club or a proper dungeon. You never know when luck is going to smack you in the face, literally and metaphorically.

And, except for All Might, who the fuck did you simp for? I don't recall you simping for someone else, do I? Yes, you do admire their strength and character, but simping? Who was the privileged one?

I enjoy going on hikes, but every now and then I just want to feel the sand underneath my feet and hear the waves crashing nearby. It's quite soothing. Swimming in particular. Plus, if you really enjoy the cold, we can go to the beach in the winter. (I agree that nothing beats the fresh mountain air, but come on, the cold water and skinny dipping in the middle of a summer night come close.)

Oh, I have to tell you something. Okay, okay. We were trying to put up the Christmas tree, and I managed to break it twice, and the tree fell on me and Bubbles after she tried to attack the ornaments, plus I end up stepping on a few as well. After that, Bubbles got tangled in the lights, and our tree is crooked. What a fantastic day for the unfortunate tree. Even with some branches missing, that shit looks badass.

Also, you singing? Or at least humming, oh lord, that's a sight. Please share it with this poor poor world so we can have an ounce of happiness. I bet you look adorable.

Now for the fact of the day. I started buying more books because my favorite bookstore is going to close down, and now I have over 50 books scattered on my bedroom floor with no place to put them, and I feel compelled to keep an eye on them all the time so Bubbles doesn't mess them up.

Interested in some books? If you want, I can send you some.

You have a lot of guts to end that letter with the phrase "your childhood sweetheart," but I like it.

With a sore throat from smoking too much while writing this,

Your always number one hero.

1st February, Tuesday, 11:56 AM

Dear fuck I am Sorry,

I know it's been like, more than two months, and maybe you are totally freaking out over this fact. (hopefully not too much, because I haven't seen any news about any Ground Zero breaking through America looking for someone, so that's a good thing I guess.) I cannot believe time went that fast, and that it slipped through my fingers in the way that I couldn't sit down for even two minutes and do this, write to you. It's like someone with a time quirk played games with me, and just now I am realizing just how long it has been. 

When you think about this, and I think you also talked about it in your last letter, but if I go now and read through them, the guilt will come back because it's been maybe more than two months, but this can be taken as a weakness in these letters we're doing. If we were to text, or even call, we wouldn't have these monthly breaks or monthly absence, because that's how fast technology is these days, but, despite that, I am glad we are sticking to this, because it is so much better to be able to sit down in front of a blank page and just ramble away everything that comes to mind, and just know that you're gonna have this in your hands, and be able to know everything that went through my mind at that moment. It's nothing like a two-or-fifteen-word text, or a call where we might just talk about things in that moment. I don't know if what I just said here makes sense, I am totally not used to writing letters right now and it’s been just a few months, so that says a lot about how much it can get out of hand if it's not constant. Hopefully it will become more constant.

So yes this afternoon I just sat down after I boiled some eggs and stuff and I said, alright, today everything will be done, but first Kacchan and his letter. And don't worry, I know you're awfully worried about my cooking(thoughtfully, you have every right to be. i kinda suck), but I do know how to boil some stuff, so it's all good. I hope, truly, that your cold passed(it's been a while so it has to, right?), and that work is going well, and that Shoto and Bubbles are well(I sound awkward? Maybe, but I can't help it right now. Eating eggs and writing is making my creativity a bit stale.)

And from what I remember from your letter, I may have some things to say, so I will take them on and then send this to you because it has been due a long time. 

I miss you as well. Sometimes so much that I just want to manifest the thought of flying back to Japan. Of meeting all of you. We're all so different and have so much to talk face to face, I bet. I want to see Shoto's exasperated expressions at you, also his indulgences because it's clear he has a lot for you. Also the others.

Another thing, you fucking asshole. Don't ever call me kiddo ever again, that thing got stuck with me all this time, and it still makes me shiver. Not pleasantly. If I'm not to coo at you(which hm), you're not gonna kiddo me. We're not awkward teenagers anymore, and I will cuss your ass out. 

(My scribbles have no importance, not one. Be good.)

Yes, yes, there are small Dekus in my mind pushing all sorts of buttons in emergency situations, just like I know you are the most calculating and terrifying person while in danger and your expression becomes so laser focus that you might crack anyone's resolve of coming at you.

Also as something to add here, just to spite you because the kiddo comment just became fresh on my mind, I did try yoga these weeks with the thought of you, and let me tell you, I think it would suit you better. :) C'mon, Kacchan. C'mon.

If we were to ever go somewhere on a vacation together, I would drag your butt into the mountains. Honestly that would be one of the things I would put my foot down for(yes, I do simp a lot, and for you especially, there I admitted it. But if it’s beach or mountains, you're not beating me on this one, love.) 

...I will leave that there, this letter is already over the place. I don't care anymore. I don't, have fun. Have fun, Kacchan, and know that I am ok, no more concussions today, and I am whole, and I wish this letter could be more than it is, but hopefully the next one will be. And hopefully you are not too angry that I wasn't able to respond to everything and that I did it so late, and hopefully you still miss me. 

I will leave the fun fact and the more deep talking for next time. 

With a boiled egg next to him,

The Symbol of Hope misses you.

5th February, Saturday, 20:11 PM

Dear Midoriya, 

This is Shouto, and maybe you are wondering why you are getting this letter; a letter from me and not from Katsuki. Well, believe my word when I say that I am also kind of surprised that I am doing this and I have to give Kats more credit now. This is a difficult task.

First, I am going to start explaining why Katsuki is not, how do I put this in a polite way, able to write you? Yes, let's say it like this. He was injured on a mission, and before you begin to panic, let me finish what I want to say. His injuries are only superficial. A bruised cheek, some small cuts here and there, scraped knees and ribs, nothing to worry about, but, he was also hit by a weird quirk. Once again, please do not start panicking, Midoriya. 

This weird quirk is actually kind of amusing. Every time he sneezes, something happens. Like a few minutes ago, he was on the balcony smoking (that's the only place he's allowed to smoke in this house. I would not let him make our precious Bubble smell like a goddamn ashtray. Also, I hope he talked to you about this here, because if he didn't, this would be very confusing.) As he sneezed, some of our flowers began to bloom and their pollen put him in an uncontrollable sneezing frenzy. After that, I woke up to papers flying everywhere, snow outside our window, and, the best part, a very angry Katsuki with pink-ish hair. I'm still kind of upset that I wasn't quick enough to get a picture with him like that.

Also, he called me Shotoroki. Shotoroki. Can you believe that, Midoriya? Out of all of the crazy nicknames he has for me, he called me Shotoroki. He did it in the middle of a sneeze, so I guess it wasn't his intention and the combination of my two names just happened, but it still left me very confused. Should I make up a similar nickname for him as well? Katsugo? Now after writing it down, I realize that I still want to live another day, so I will drop this funny nickname idea. At least for a while.

Now, that we have gotten this whole explanation out of the way, and I think that you are not as panicked as you were at the beginning of this letter, I would like to talk with you about more serious topics.

You two are just hopeless. I have been watching Katuski losing his mind over your letters for half a year now and I still don't understand. (Also don't worry, I haven't read any of your letters, so I don't have any idea of what is going on there. I respect Katuski's privacy.) But from the screams that Bakugou lets out in the middle of the night and the countless sheets of paper that are always scattered in our living room, I just can imagine. Sometimes this whole thing frustrates me so badly that I want to hit both of you with a stick until you, idiots, realize exactly what's happening.

Because, I swear, everyone is seeing this, except you and Kats. 

Why are you two doing this to each other? Don't get me wrong, Midoriya, I am extremely happy that you and Katsuki reconnected after all this time and are back to being friends and sharing funny things and whatever else you two are writing to each other, but you two really, really are hopeless. 

Why? Just why? You know that I am suffering because every time Katuski thinks, and I quote him: "fucked up in the biggest way possible, and he's not gonna ever fucking again talk to me." He's just going to pout like a child and sulk until he gets a new letter, and I, his best friend, need to find new ways to get him back on his feet. Especially now, since you haven't written to him for like two months. He lost his mind. 

So can I ask you to never do this again? At the very least, for my mental health. I can't take more than I already have. I love Katsuki. He's my best friend, and I would do anything for him, but sometimes he's a lot to handle in his panic moments.

When he first wrote you, he was filled with anxiety and fear. He really thought that he was going to get a lawsuit back, and he even had his lawyer on speed dial, just in case. But then you wrote him back, and I could see how those feelings just melted away. He looked at ease for the first time in weeks, and I could not thank you enough for that. He started to change a bit. Even if he's still the Katsuki we all know and love, he's better now. His traumas and complexes are not dragging him down anymore, and I just want to say that I'm proud of him. 

Oh, I nearly forgot about this, but why was Kats screaming about yoga? Out of nowhere, he developed this immense hate for yoga and even proceeded to give me this whole ted-talk about how stupid and useless yoga is. I really don't know what to say about this, and from what he told me, you had a hand in this? Listen, I just want answers so my mind can be at peace. 

I would also want to ask you if you have any methods to convince someone who is extremely hard to convince. For no reason, just... science, let us say.

My wish is that you are alright wherever you are right now, and that you are taking care of yourself. I'd also appreciate it if you could send us (the rest of former class 1-A) a text every now and then. Our friends, they all miss you more than you can imagine, so please take that into consideration, ok? And if you ever have the time, please visit us. It would be an honor to spend time with you again.

And now, I think it is time for me to end this letter here. Not because I don't want to talk with you anymore, but Katsuki started sneezing away, and I really don't trust him right now near our kitchen. I like this apartment, and Bubbles is with him, so I need to save her from whatever random thing that quirk decides to throw at us again. Plus, I can feel the murderous aura coming from Bakugou. 

I believe that he doesn't really appreciate the fact that I am using the thing you two bonded over.

Until we can talk again,

Shouto Todoroki

Chapter Text

27th of February, Sunday, 10:28 AM

Dear Shotoroki and Katsugo, 

I can't deny that I was worried when I first opened the letter and I didn't recognize the writing, and at the top, it said Dear Midoriya . Kacchan would never say it like that, and if he did that would only entail bad news for sure. But the writing, I know he wasn't the one who wrote it by that alone, and it scared me that I fucked up that bad if Kacchan even refused to write to me. I thought Todoroki sent it to tell me that Kacchan doesn't want anything to do with these letters anymore. Not going to lie, I put it down and spent a whole day worrying if to actually read it or try and contact Kacchan in some other way to solve this problem that I thought I had. But then I got over it and actually read it, and it turns out there's no problem other than Kacchan's sneeze. Which, is the cutest thing. I would have had a blast being there with him while he makes things go nuts around him. Do you think he would have called me Izuriya? That would have... I would have never let that go down. Ever. 

But honestly, Shotoroki and Katsugo actually made me snort so hard. Oh, God. You guys are even bigger dorks than I can be, sometimes. It's unbelievable. Your lives sound like a tv show of bad quality that is actually pretty iconic and everyone watches and loves it in their childhood. No going another way about it. And I feel like that character that hopes to be important in your life, gets mentioned often, and is kind of there until he maybe makes a shocking appearance that I don't think I can pull off because things here are too hectic for me to let go unsolved. But this doesn't matter at the moment, right?

If someone would've told me this whole thing would be happening last summer, that I would be sending letters between me, Kacchan, and now even Todoroki, I would have laughed, and not because it's a funny thing to imagine(though right now it is pretty funny. you're both messes, and rightfully I'm sure you can say I'm one as well), but because I could really think about a way in which we could rekindle the friendship or the peculiar relationship(in mine and Kacchan's situation) that we had. Now, we're doing it. It's insane. It's exhilarating. 

But I have to ask Todoroki specifically, what's with some lines in your letter? What are we obvious to, man? Hopeless? I wrecked my head around for a few days because of this, and I'm honestly telling you that I have no goddam idea about what I could be possibly missing, and what is making you so frustrated with us. I mean, sure, some of our conversations are dumb as fuck, sure, I talked about my dick too much, and believe me it was not intentional, it's just that shit happens too often and I maybe needed someone to complain to about it. Kacchan is a shameless asshole, you know? He can take my dick.

Alright, that actually sounded too sexual and I swear it wasn't done with intention. Oh, Lord. Please, just ignore that. I have half a mind to scribble over it until I make a fucking hole in the page, but then I'm sure Kacchan will go nuts trying to decipher this one as well. You guys know what I mean. It was just cathartic to talk to someone I've known since childhood about dumb problems and stuff. So what's frustrating about it?

...So it just came to my mind that you said that you didn't read any of the letters, and now I rambled two paragraphs about my dick again, and this is going to be read by the both of you now. Well, I would like to apologize for any trauma that I caused Todoroki-san with this, and Kacchan, please, stop laughing, I know you're doing it(though I haven't heard you laugh in forever. I imagine it misses that malice you used to chuckle with within my presence, so now I'm wondering just how your laugh sounds. I bet you hide behind a hand because it goes high and doesn't match the roughness of your voice.)

So how are we frustrating, if it's not about my dick and the yoga discussion that is still not off the table? Perhaps yoga is all this is about.  Yes, I have a forty-something step plan in which I will make Kacchna wear yoga pants and do yoga positions. But I'm sure you're enjoying Kacchan's frustrations on that. I'm sure this is not what's driving you nuts. What makes you label me as hopeless. So it's gotta be about something else. This is really grinding me, I swear. Perhaps Kacchan knows more than me. If you do, love, you should just tell me. Really. Don't make me go into work with this in mind, I might slip and let a villain punch me through a wall. Or into a car. That sometimes happens when I'm overthinking something. And then there's this whole situation of Pro Hero Deku going car shopping with the unfortunate family that got their car crushed by Pro Hero Deku, and Oh, look! Pro Hero Deku is so heroic, he buys the people cars every time he does it! And then some magazines turn it into me being a shallow piece of shit who buys his people's forgiveness with money, and others who are criticizing other heroes because they don't it as much as me.

Ok, this escalated into a serious conversation, but hey, it's kind of a whole mess, don't you guys think? I buy the people the things I break because my conscience doesn't let me in peace if I don't. I don't care about forgiveness. Some of these paparazzi truly think that it's all black and white when in reality I do not care for it, because really now, in this field of work of course things are getting wrecked, besides my bones. And if I have the money to do it, I will. I will replace everything that gets taken down with me, even if it's the agency's duty to do so. That doesn't mean other Pro Heroes need to follow my actions, need to be scrutinized for it. Bah, already, I rambled another frustration into you.

Honestly, if this is what's frustrating, sorry? I guess. But I also love when Kacchan rambles towards me. I listen to him, perhaps give him advice. I want to be there for you, you know? I want to feel like the trust between us is growing roots strong enough to get us through everything. 

The years of high school were truly important for me, and so were the people that surrounded me. You guys will always be in that one place inside my soul that is always viewed with only longing and the good kind of nostalgia. I imagine us as mere teenagers, with weird cracks in our voices, muscles that were kind of too much for our age, quirks that were still developing, us growing and evolving, petty fights and unresolved shit. It wasn't all good, but it is worth remembering with joy. Everyone in Class-A will be remembered so, and the crazy shenanigans that we all were in at that time. And sometimes, I will sit somewhere and think, what would have happened if I hadn't left before my last year in U.A.? Maybe more crazy shit happening in the dorms, and more laughs and struggles to get through. But I am also proud of what I am today, and I love my job and the people that are around me, and I kind of adore what you guys have become.

When I first got Kacchan's letter, let me tell you it was a trip. I think I told him some about it in the very first letter I sent him. But that just opened up for us so many opportunities. Ones that I'm mulling over and trying to find more courage for, and ones that we are in the middle of exploring slowly. 

So yes, alright, this was a long one. Going down the memory lane and telling you about my thoughts on it. I hope Kacchan's cute sneeze problem is no more, and that Bubbles and your flowers are safe. As for the methods to convince someone truly stubborn... I don't know how to tell you, but in moments like those usually, I'm the stubborn one. Haha.

I'm sure I haven't answered to all the stuff you wrote(it's hard to do that, more often than not), and I'm pretty fucking sure I haven't got to the middle of your frustrations with our 'hopelessness', whatever that may be, but I'm responding to the letter than it's a good step in one direction. 

Fact of the letter, I guess? I can admit, that I wouldn't like it either if someone else would be responding instead of me to Kacchan's letter. It's... A personal thing, eh? :) It would be sulky-worthy, indeed.

Missing the both of you, dorks,

Midoriya

1st March, Tuesday, 3:15 AM

Oh my fucking God, I really wanna punch you in the face right now,

You dammit idiot, why did you write: "he can take my dick"? Damn it Izuku! Todoroki read that letter out loud since it was for the both of us; and now, he won't let me live that one down. You really have no idea what he did to me after that shit. Just the look on his face when he read that part and his tone, ugh. I was ready to throw myself out and say goodbye to this fucked world.

But yes, I can take your dick, you asshole. But please, never say that again.

I'm also very confused about the hopeless thing. Todoroki doesn't want to tell me what he means by that and to be honest with you, it's driving me crazy as well. Especially after seeing his reaction to your letter. He just tsk-ed and murmured, "hopeless, just like I said." What does he mean by that? Are we really not seeing the bigger picture in this shit? Or what? But anywho, please don't think about it too much and please don't destroy any more cars or shit. For fucks sake, you're going to end up broke.

Oh, and I'd like to address the part where you said you wanted to be an important character in our shady TV show. You're already one, my dear. You just didn't realize that. If you weren't one, do you think I would be here, at ass o’clock, trying my best to write to you? Nah, I wouldn't give a shit, but here I am, stressing about how to word shit.

I have never been good with words or emotions, and you know this better than anyone, but for you, my dear, oh for you, I would be Haruki Murakami and begin to write novels. Because it's so peaceful, sitting on the couch in the middle of the night, a light cigarette between my fingers, and writing to you while Bubbles is taking a nap on my lap. And it's refreshing, after a hard day of work, when my whole body is sore and my mind is screaming at me, to dim my lights and read your letters. But sometimes my hands shake, and I start getting emotional because I did it. I finally got to talk with you again.

Those sleepless nights, where I was staring at my walls, in total silence were replaced with silly words laid down on pretty paper. Cursive words and small scribbles now are things that comfort me, and I couldn't thank you enough for this. Because of what we have. Cause it's special, warm.

And I miss you. In the same way, you were wondering about the "what ifs", I often find myself thinking the same. What if you never moved away? What if our relationship never went south? What if I was a better person back then? And it's a bit hard because I know you, but at the same time, I don't. Cause you changed, for the better, of course. But there have been so many years in your life that I don't know about. I know you, but I still don't know your favorite color or food. Or if you prefer rom-coms or action movies. I want to know all these small details. I want to learn them all, and maybe one day, if you ever decide to come back home, back here, I could take you for a ride, and show you my favorite places in this town. Or take you to a movie in the middle of the night, when the city sleeps. 

One day. 

Because one day, I will know you. But till then, I will learn.

Fuck, erm, ignore what I said. I just got too much in my head, so I wrote down everything I was thinking. Please don't feel pressured by anything I said. If you want to reveal something about yourself, do it because you actually want to, not because of my stupid words. Ok? I really want to toss this whole thing out and start it again, but I have an early morning tomorrow, well today but whatever, and I kinda don't want to head to work on like, one hour of sleep. It's not fun, but I bet you know that as well.

Tell me what you did in this period of time we haven't talked. I want to know. On my side, nothing much happened. Just the usual patrolling and taking a few missions here and there, had to deal with some annoying fuckers, and that was it. I mostly stay inside these days, because it's raining a lot. It's not even the rainy season so I don't know the fuck it is going on, but I can't complain about it, since I like staying inside. I get to spend more time with Bubbles. 

Since it's been so long, I don't know what to say anymore. I know that you said that you like my rambles and shit, but I really don't have anything to ramble on this time. So just, write back to me soon.

Fact of the day, a strange one at that. Todoroki is now my partner on patrol for the next few months, and nearly every time someone is approaching us and they get too close or,,, handy, this bitch will just glare at them. And not just a normal boring glare, he's literally putting imaginary holes through their skulls. I wonder if something is wrong with him. Imma have to talk with him about this, cause it got too weird. He nearly decked a journalist just because they asked for my number? 

Yours always,

Kats

5th April, Tuesday, 16:18 PM

Dear I am one thousand and million sorry, this is a mess, what the fuck

Alright, first and foremost, I confess. I am tired beyond of this situation. Like, the "I've been missing for a month" thing because it's becoming a thing. It's becoming an "I need to address this", like in those situations where something shitty happens and the agency is like "we need to handle this, put your interview pants on." BUT, coming back to our thing, alright, yes, I've been gone, Kacchan, but this time I will rebel and just end it here. I have a lot to say to you, and some parts of our lives will always hold us hostage for a period of time and it's hard to do some things. BUT, again, I will end it here and go to the part where I have a lot to tell you.

(Hopefully, you are not angry, though. Please, don't be.)

First, I cannot believe you admitted to taking my dick, even in a metaphorical sense. Kacchan, I can't even find it myself to care that Todoroki has been witness to such a thing. It made me grin stupidly. You need to know just how unapologetic I am about this right now. It's insane how much I don't care and am proud of this whole thing. It's so dumb. It's kind of amazing. 

The hopeless thing makes me think that we're missing something big, for Todoroki never really gets stuck in little things, from what I remember. But you know what? If he doesn't want to tell us directly, then perhaps he has hope that we'll figure it out. I'm sure we can do it together, Kacchan. We are the Wonder Duo, after all. 

Or were, your whole paragraphs about what could have been had I not come to America really made me think a lot of things(among the thought of your extra poetic and emotions that truly made me reread the whole thing. Holy shit, you went batshit crazy on it, it left me speechless. And red. And grinning. Again. You softy.) Well, Kacchan. I can't guarantee what could have been, or what would have been if you were nicer when we were kids. But, it is the past, and I say let's not dwell on it, because now it's better, and that is something not to be overlooked. We're good. We're getting closer, and you have all the permission to get to know me. To know every little part of me, bad and good. 

I love green, obviously. (I laughed while writing this.) But there's a type of red that made me fall in love with it, for reasons I won't divulge right now. I think you know very well what type of food makes me melt into a puddle of appreciation. And that I really go crazy for action movies, because I love action and the people who take it and do something for the world. There are also small details that I want to know about you, you know? Like, how you're smile turned sweeter, how you would look my way, or say my name, or if that small beauty mark is still there, on the apple of your cheek, if there are some more. Hm. Alright, stopping there. I sense uncontrollable urges in me, and you're not ready for them. Or me, for that matter.

But yes, your favorite places. That would be splendid. I also just imagine taking you as well in the heart of this town of mine, giving you the best dumbassery, and also the best of the world I have witnessed here with all sorts of people. I would be full with jitters, going nuts about Kacchan retaking my steps and visiting my best memories, making new ones with you. Keep them safe in my heart for years to come, for when even newer ones come along as well.

...You know what, perhaps I am hopeless in one aspect. But I don't think Todoroki is referring to this type of hopelessness. Hm...

But yes, yes to a lot of things you say to me. Anyways. I'm fucking screaming. Really? This is happening? Alright. Your best friend is awesome. Todoroki is doing good, don't worry, Kacchan. I'm sure he has a plan in mind when he's... protecting you. I'm pretty, pretty sure. You don't need to worry about a thing. He's awesome. (Give him a high five for me. Truly awesome.) 

It really lifted my mood up. Coming back to 'our thing' at the beginning of the letter. This month has been... full of shit. In the Pro Hero sense. I'm sure you didn't hear anything about it because it was pretty swift and it didn't have the time to expand, or get worse, for I handled it. But... It was a bad fight. It ended up bad for me. I'm good, on the physical side. I don't have wounds that could be spotted. But mentally? It was a trip.

At the short end of the story: Someone fucked with me emotionally for some time, in a creepy way that I still marvel at, and I was lost for a bit. But I came on top. I conquered that piece of shit and her little games. I won. It's all good. 

I will tell you more in the next letter. I need to go to work right about now, and I'm barely on the chair finishing this one, with my costume already on. I need to do some patrolling alone, unfortunately. No partner for me these days. 

My fact of the day is that this last letter you sent me has been read more than one hundred times, for I missed you and after what happened, I missed you even more. And I'm glad you wrote to me, Kacchan. No matter who says what, you have always been there for me, even when you think you weren't, and you always made me push forward with pride and happiness and victory in my clutches. So, thank you. Continue to be here for me, please, as I will be for you.

With a loving smile,

Deku.

22nd April, Friday, 3:24 AM

I'm not sober enough for this,

But hello, Izu. It's nice to hear from you again. I can say with all of my sincerity that I missed receiving your letters and now because I'm me, the asshole I always am, imma blame everything I say on the alcohol.

To address the elephant in this letter, I'm still drunk because it was my birthday two days ago. It is a pity that I was too busy responding to your letter earlier, because who knows, I might have had a birthday wish from you. But that's not the fucking point. The point is that even though it's been a while since it was my birthday, I'm still dragged to parties and social events by my friends and my friggin agency, and lemme tell ya Deku, all those shots got to my brain.

I would like to say it's ok if you don't write me back, taking in the fact of our professions, but fuck that, please make time for this, because it's been so so long. We started talking less and less and I just,,, I don't know, I just wanna say fuck it, apply for those damn holiday days that I deserve and spend them just writing mundane things back and forth with you. Cause you mean so much for me, god fucking damnit.

Don't worry too much, doll, I'm not mad at you. In fact, I don't think I have it in me to be mad at you. 

Like I said in the beginning, I'm too fucking drunk to talk about how, yes I fucking admitted my whole ass chest that I can take your hypothetical dick and I can bet that I would do a fantastic job, but we don't need to talk about this. Not when I'm drunk and sitting in a private bathroom, writing this on napkins and a pen I got from a stranger. So wipe that smug grin off your face, you perverted bastard.

You really dared to call me soft just because I had a fucking existential crisis over your ass moving, years ago, on the other side of the fucking globe? The audacity. But it's true. I will let it slide this time because I don't want to hide behind a finger when it comes to my feelings anymore, Izu. I always say this, but I'm trying to be better and you're a big help. Accepting my flaws and all of me. Thank you. 

We got this, partner. All of this. The letters, the bond that we share right now, even those miles that are in between us. We freaking got this. Like we always did. Even when we were on bad terms, cause like you said, we are the Wonder Duo. Never stopped.

I know this letter is a mess, from my sloppy writing to the way it flows, but I don't really care. All I wanna do right now is talk about you. About how your favorite color is still that stupid shade of green, that damned emerald green, the forest green, just like your eyes, your stupidly big pretty eyes. And the small vague things that you say that make me go crazy, like how you like a specific shade of red and that curry, possible my curry, is making you melt and,,, and so much that I wanna talk about but I have no idea how to put it in words that will actually make sense cause nothing, nothing makes sense anymore. 

Not when you're thinking about me and the way your name would roll off my tongue like sweet warm honey with a hint of sunshine. Not when all I can think about is seeing you and admiring your freckles on the bridge of your nose and cheeks. And I'll just stare at you until that's all I can see. Your face.   Because that's what I'm yearning for right now. For you to be here, talking about your stupid movies, and for me to be in the comfort of my own home, rather than being surrounded by hundreds of strangers, shitfaced and with a bitter taste in my mouth.

I wanna taste the sunshine, Izu. Just one time.

And maybe you're thinking I'm not ready, for whatever you're talking about, but I am. I have never been this ready. But once again, maybe I'm just talking nonsense. The strong liqueur is making me say things that I have no idea about, or it's just me, and oh sweet God, I have never been happier than now about this. About letters. Cause this way, I will have no proof of what I said, and I will torment myself in the morning when I am sober and in my right mind.

The whole room is spinning, or it's just me, but fuck it, I will still finish this bitch, even if I have to stop myself halfway through throwing up. I wanna say all the things I've been collecting for our letters.

First, I don't like the idea of you agreeing with Shouto being a fucking menace to people around me. What the fuck? Are you two setting me up? Conspiring against me or something? Something doesn't feel right here,,, cause I know for fucking sure he's not protecting me. This bitch would willingly throw me into a crowd of paparazzi just for his own sick entertainment. So, no high-fives for this bastard. 

Second, who the fuckity fuck is the motherfucker that had the fucking audacity to fuck with you? Do I need to book a flight to get there? Cause I will do it, Izuku. Japan can survive without me for a few days, so just say the word and I'm fucking buying a private fucking jet just so I can beat some fucking ass. On another note, I hope you're ok. I,,, I don’t know how to comfort someone or how to approach this matter, but, I'm here. I'm always here if you need me, Izu. 

And fucking third and last point I have in this, how can you say all of that, at the end of your letter and expect me to not fucking lose my mind? That was,,, fucking god, that was everything, Izu. You have no idea what that did to me, because even now, after months, fucking months, I still cannot believe it that you, you miss me. In the same way, I miss you. And it hurts but in a good way. In a way, I never thought that I would ever feel. And it's weird. But I like it. I like it so much that it hurts. And I wanna cry, but I won't. 

Cause you have no idea what you do to me, with your sweet words, that just takes my breath away and I'm here, just in pain cause I know. I know it will be impossible. And that's why it hurts even more.

Oh, fuck fuck fuck. I think my manager is knocking on the door, looking for me so I will have to cut this short. Fuck me.

Quick fact of the day, or more than one, I don't anymore. 

I just took shots off of some random chick's tits and all I could think about was doing the same thing but with another person, a person that I cannot reach right now. But the moment I will, I will never let go of them. And also, I had this weird villain that I caught a few days ago, and the fucker literally begged me to cuff him. Do I fucking look like a cop outta a porn or something? Cause that fucker had that idea in his mind. I don't even carry handcuffs with me, what the fuck.

With too many shots in my system,

Kats.

22nd May, Sunday, 22:45 PM

Another month, another awkward beginning,

Hello, yes, I'm not even going to begin with, "I did it again" because we all know I did it again. It's hard, Kacchan. On me and you both. It hurts in all the ways that I get to respond so fucking late so many times. Let's just... It's just... The fact that you literally begged for me to do it more often adds to it. It's like an ache that spreads the more I know I didn't do it another time. But now I'm here, and the ache persists because this letter is not with you, but hopefully, it will be very soon, and with a lot of things in it that really, hopefully, will put a smile on your face or will make you feel something positive(but also, the fact that it's more possible for you to be sober than drunk when you read it it's a relief somehow because drunk you is... let's say a lot of things. Good and bad, bad for me in the way you make me feel, and not other types of bad. Drunk you was a trip, that letter was read more times than I can count, and it was thought about a little too much. Moving on.) 

I can't believe I missed a chance to send you something, a present, a wish of your birthday, everything. I missed it because I cant send letters when I should. Because work made me so fucked up for a while- I'm getting to explaining this bit to you. You know what? I will do it right now. Because you deserve to know why I wasn't there to say happy birthday, Kacchan.

I did say in the last letter that I will let you know in this one what went down. So, when I said about someone fucking with me mentally, well I meant that a whole fight went down for more than two weeks. A mental fight, for the villain I fought and thought I caught put me into a weird, fucked false reality where I was their husband and didn't have a quirk. For more than two weeks, I was in another plane of existence created by a single quirk where the villain made me think I was married to them, had a whole life built around them, and shitty stuff that put me in more breakdowns I could think.

You know, I should have thought from the very beginning that their obsession with fighting me was a red flag. I never saw a villain so stuck on wanting to fight with me in any way. And the fact that they didn't put any resistance when I thought I won... Yea, I maybe was a little loose on this one. But never again.

But don't worry, aside from the fact that I thought myself a married man to a piece of shit, she didn't do anything to me that could scar me mentally. She didn't touch. Didn't succeed. Because even though it was more than two weeks, me in that reality, it was every day that I almost broke out. She had a pretty brutal fight with me when it came to mental clashes - every day I knew something wasn't right, no matter her sweet words, her monstrous and powerful powers. 

So yea, hey, I got a fucked up taste of marriage! Damn, you should have seen the way my whole agency panicked at my comatose state that whole time. That sudden mission that was announced about me going to another country undercover for almost a month? That didn't happen, it was just me in another fucking reality. Goddamn. 

Some quirks are truly scary. Imagine if I didn't have the will powerful enough to get out of that. She would have won. But no, no one could ever erase who I am, make me what they want. No one could make me forget my life, my goals, the people I love, the people that actually love me back. She couldn't really make me forget that I needed to write you a goddamn letter, either. I think she now hates your guts from how many times I struggled to write a letter in the reality, even though I couldn't remember who the fuck I was sending it to. God, how I loved making her frustrated with that. In a way, you helped me get out of there with that. Thank you, love. 

Alright, with this out of the way, I have to mention... The fact that you really drunk mumbled about taking my dick well.

What the fuck can I say to that besides: good to fucking know, I guess. That's. Alright. I'm glad you can. I mean, I had a suspicion you would have been very capable of doing it, but it's good to be confirmed, and stuff. 

Yes. Anyway.

(But also, you are such a softie. Drunk softie who says that they can ride my dick, or whatever. Adorable.)

After the whole story I've just written, I can't say I'm not a bit messed up, but I will try to remember and respond to what you wrote.

First of all, every time you speak about us being partners, my soul aches to fly back to Japan. Just for it. For the Wonder Duo. It aches for me to be there alongside you, in fights, meetings, interviews, and even scandals. Everything. Really, because I know, deep in my heart, that we would have been unstoppable if I haven't left. It would have happened. The wonder duo, always on top, and nothing more. No one could put a stop to it, or break it. Even now, when I think about it; even if we never established this duo as something official, for all to know, not one partner in here, or even in Japan, could take your place beside me in battle. I will never forget just how smooth I fight when you're by my side, and how powerful I feel. We are a force to be reckoned with, and I crave it more often than I can count.

(you saying you want to taste sunshine is making me think nothing normal. damn. also, how can your sloppy writing be even more beautiful than my whole sober writing? Kacchan, sometimes I wonder just how charming some of your characteristics are.)

Second of all, Todoroki and I are not setting you up. We don't even talk. Really. Him doing that is just... very interesting. I have a hunch about it, but nothing more. It's fun. It's something that makes me smile for more reasons. He's doing well. 

(I'm not even going to talk about the cuffs and sexy cop stuff. Like, wow.)

Fact of the letter: I bet that if you really did come here when I was in the other reality-inflicted coma, your mere voice would have gotten me out of it. No joke. Next time I will tell my agent to ring you up and let you speak to me. I will be awake in a fucking second. 

smiling dumbly,

Deku

25th May, Wednesday, 1:24 AM

My dear silly, silly Deku,

I'm not gonna lie to you, in this whole month I thought about strangling you a few times but the moment Todoroki threw your letter in my face, any violent thought towards you disappeared. 

As always, your letter was,,, a lot. A lot of pieces of information, emotions, and other things that will be left unsaid. I don't even know where to begin. To freak out about the other reality thing? Freak out about the wonder duo? About the things I wrote in my last letter that I don't even fucking remember? There is just so fucking much to freak about. Fuck me.

Let's just take this one thing at a time. First, the fucked up quirk thing; I'm so goddamn sorry that you have to go through that. Mind controlling quirks are the most fucked up quirks when used in evil ways, and creating a whole fucking ass reality just for them to have their weird fantasy with you, that just,,, so goddamn wrong. I cannot imagine what you went thru and how that shit felt for you and fuck your agency for hiding this even from us, heroes. I had no fucking idea, Izu. oh my fucking god, if I knew I would come to your aid immediately. I could understand if it was a matter of like a few days, but two whole fucking weeks? That's just fucking wrong, what the fuck is wrong with your agency? 

I hope you're ok now and that fucking bitch is locked up somewhere or, even better, fucking dead. Yeah, I meant the last part, even if it was wrong.

(some of our house plants are non-existent now, after reading that. Took my anger out on them.)

I'm not even gonna talk about the fact that you weren't able to wish me a “happy bday” or some corny stuff, cause I don't care about that, dude. It is not like it was a big fucking deal, so don't worry about it ok? Also, can we, please, not talk about the fact that I said the dick thing? I do not want this to be another “you should try yoga, Kacchan” and fuck with this topic for another fucking ten or so letters. No thank you, sir. Not again.

Also, you saying that you were writing letters when your mind was fucked with and shit, got me so fucking weak. Knees shaking and all of that. I have so many things to say about that and the fact that you called me ‘love’ but I do not know how to write whatever I feel right now. How to express myself cause you're making me feel fucking things and they are making me confused and mad cause I don't understand myself.

Talking about marriage,,, this weird thing happened last week and I was flabbergasted. I got this marriage proposal from another hero, and it was weird. They gave me this fucking folder with something similar with a goddamn CV and they requested an interview with me to see if we do really suit each other? I mean, they were the ones to ask for my hand but still asking for an interview? What year are we in? 2009? Still, doing interviews for marriage? Fuck no.

Todoroki burned the fucking thing as soon as he realized what was it and just said that he gonna deal with it and to be fucking honest, I don't wanna know what he meant by that. He can be scary sometimes. 

But besides that, the fucker has been a real fucking asshole for the past few days. Every time I ask him for advice (which I won't go into details about what exactly I was asking him) this bitch just shrugs and laughs in my fucking face, telling me to not worry. Well excuse me, Mr fucking peppermint bitch, I do have a brain that won't fucking let me be all happy and flowers. I do worry about not being good enough and still being a piece of garbage but fucking thank you for your shitty advice of not worrying about it. It's gonna work like mustard and chocolate. 

Fucking walking candy cane bitch. I wanna pack him up in a box and ship him to Timbuktu, but I fucking can't, cause it is illegal to ship humans in general and I'm a hero and I cannot do it. Fuck my fucking life.

I kinda forgot to like,,, count the points I wanted to talk about so I'm just gonna call this, point whatever. I do want you here as well. And fighting by your side is still a fucking dream that I would give everything to make possible, but unfortunately, I fucking can’t, and it slowly killing me. If in the past I could just push this idea away, saying that it would be impossible since the possibility of you hating me was fucking high, now, with you saying all that shit, I cannot just pretend to ignore it. I cannot stop imagining all of that. The small arguments between us, the smoke breaks while patrolling, just fucking with the annoying reporters, all of that with you next to me. Fuuuck. Imma stop, this ain't good for my heart.

And you, you fucking fucker, cannot end your letter like that? Why are you always doing that? Ending your letters with shit that will fuck me up? Why? Why are you torturing me in this way? This ain't fair Izuku. But please do call me if you even need me. I will add my business card to this letter. It's the agency’s phone number since I cannot handle the idea of you having my number and being able to text or call me out of nowhere without me preparing my heart for it. Don't take it wrong, I'm just afraid that I won't be able to fucking say a word the moment I hear your voice or even worst, ignoring your call thinking is another spam call or a fucking obsessed fan that somehow found my number. It's not something unusual.

I think I said all I wanted to say for now, and I also need a smoke break and to get back to work. I hope to hear from you soon, and once again, take your time if you need it, sweetheart. Your first paragraph told me enough, so please, don't beat yourself up for not being able to write to me. I'm always here.

Ending this with my fact: I have a small collection of magazines that Shotou likes to call it “Midoriya collection.” cause its just magazines that you featured on. Don't get any weird ideas, I'm just trying to keep up with what you're doing in the time we don't talk.

Have a good night/ good day, Izu.

K.

30th May, Monday, 2:15 AM

Dear I can't believe you gave me a number and it's not even yours,

You know those moments when someone asks for a person's number and they receive a fake one or one of a random person? That's how it felt when I read the 'i gave you my agency's number'. I mean, yea, sure, I understand the reasoning for it(Thought younger me would have been flabbergasted that Bakugou Katsuki would ever get flustered at the mere sound of my voice. To be honest, it's still so dumbsmacking.) (another one of this just to add that I'm glad your violent thoughts have disappeared, haha.)

It's alright, Kacchan. It was surely a messed-up thing to go through, to be forced to be someone's husband, but it was also something that made me realize a lot of things. First, marriage is a thing that, for me, would work only under a specific circumstance, and even then perhaps not. Marriage is not something final, also, it's not an end goal. It's a milestone, maybe, but not something that really needs to happen. Love is love for me, whatever the label of it. I was a shell of a husband for a piece of shit, something manipulated and false, and it made me think that the love I hold for some people is so vibrant it can't even be contained in a powerful quirk manifested world. And yes, she is locked up. Also, my agency is fine, love. It's how they saw it best. I'm not mad about it, but like the whole experience with the other reality, this almost month coma state made me choose some interesting decisions this last month(telling u about them in my fact of the letter).

(Poor plants. Take more deep breaths and leave them be, Kacchan. They are sunshine-fed little fellas.)

Love that some people really try to hire you into a fucking date(it's just so funny it doesn't even leave room for other emotions to feel) I'm just imagining you with the best bitch resting face in front of that person, unamused and ready to blow that whole CV up, with sharp words right at the edge of your teeth. Love even more the fact that Todoroki just became your full-time bodyguard in regards to it, and does it for you in a way. My hunch is getting confirmed more and more. You surely figured it out, Kacchan, come on. He's doing it for some obvious reasons, I feel. And you know him best. 

And the fact that he's laughing in your face about stuff is such a bizarre mental image. Todoroki Shouto laughing feels strange as a whole, but him being a little shit about something in the form of a laugh? Damn, this really must be something that has been going on for a long time, for him to have such bold reactions to it, for his nerves to be fried so hard that he's going out of his Todoroki ways to be like that. 

(You going on about situations and moments with us as the Wonder Duo is not good for my soul, either, Kacchan. You need to refrain from making me yearn more than already am. What are we, stupid? We may be. We talk about stuff that we know we want and long for. We need to stop before he goes in-depth and it happens to become so unbearable that something reckless will be done. Hm.)

Also, you telling me not to beat myself up has the same feeling as people telling me to go easy at work. Not happening, love. Sorry, but not really sorry. Just let me feel things for you, :).

(so you're not the only one keeping tabs, eh? glad to know I'm not weird for religiously seeking your name in every piece of news or magazines and listening for your voice when I happen to catch some interview on TV. but at the same time, can't help but wonder if you only keep the shitty ones just to be a little shit with me. I have some pretty shitty magazines. some really ridiculous ones.)

Alright, so my fact of the letter is: I let one of my friends get me to try a normal university for a month, and damn I couldn't keep up with it, Kacchan. Went to foreign languages, Japanese of course, and what the hell, how did a mere university make my natal language seem so hard? And why do I need a minor? Well, at least I practiced English a bit more intensively for a month. But damn, university life is full of... stuff, from drama to failed and stupid romance to ridiculous shit. I almost felt like I was in U.A. again, only more mature and not really as comfortable. I don't need people spreading false rumors about me fucking three people at once. How did I become an intimidating fuck boy in a few weeks?? And much more shit I was slapped with. Being the Symbol of Peace trying the normal student life didn't really work, especially when it comes to being surrounded by noisy young adults. 

My friend is nice and all, but she can keep the university life away from me. I will resume to work and going out with friends. Haha.

once a student, now a dropout

Deku

3rd June, Friday, 14:31 PM

I do not believe my eyes,

Holy fuck, holy fucking fuck! You being a fucking fuckboy? You? Izuku fucking Midoryia having rumors about him being in a goddamn orgy. Well, that's something that I would die to see, not gonna lie. And I thought the rumors about me in high school were wild, but here we are. Just in three weeks, you became the most wanted dude in that university, good fucking job, Deku. 

It's kind of weird to imagine you now, a whole ass adult, going to university and being a normal student, I don't know why. Maybe I still have that image in my head, a small you carrying that big yellow backpack (by the way, I fucking hated that backpack, I hope you don't have it anymore.) waddling through the corridors, with wild hair and big eyes. Maybe just because of that or I just don't wanna accept the other image in my head. Of adult you, man fucking spreading in your seat, munching on the end of your pen, hair just as wild as in the past but your eyes not as big; just sharp, dark green eyes that will send shivers down your fucking spine. Tight white shirt and black jeans. 

Yeah,,, I don't wanna accept that, fuck it. (send me pictures if you have any from your uni days.)

Your idea of marriage is similar to mine, cause, personally, I do not believe in marriage, or at least in having a document that will just bind you together with another person. It's just a fucking scam if you ask me, paying for that bitch, then paying again if you wanna get divorced cause your spouse is a little piece of shit that doesn't love you anymore. Yeah, that ain't for me. No fucking paper can decide how imma live my fucking life and with who imma be for the rest of my life. What if I wanna be in a poly relationship? Hm? How the fuck imma marry both of them when the government doesn't fucking accept that. Fuck that fucking shit. They can shove that marriage certificate up on their fancy asses. I do not want it. And if I do really want one, imma have Shouto making me one. He can be the fucking dude that will do it.

Imma stop here cause I'm getting too political and I don't like it. 

Anyway, how's your day, dear? Everything good? Ate? Drank some water? Hm? Cause my fucking day is shitty as fuck. I'm stuck in my office, with my secretary sending me fucking death stares and a fucking big ass stack of documents and applications that needed to be filled, signed, and approved. I also need to look through some folders with “possible future interns” cause its that time of the year again. I do not want a brat following me around like a lost fucking duck and getting in my way, but I cannot do anything about it. 

Shouto is also lying down on my floor, contemplating about fucking life or whatever he is mumbling about and cursing his accensors. The family business is slowly killing him and he is so close to going and burning Enjis's building to the fucking ground. And be fucking sure that if he's gonna do it imma join him. I still don't like that bastard. 

But yeah, here we are, on a Friday afternoon, stuck in an office, with three fucking iced coffees for each of us, ready to defenestrate ourselves from the twenty-fifth floor at any time. 

 Such a wonderful time I'm having,,,,

And don't misunderstand just because the half bastard is in my office, that he is back to normal. Fuck no. Even now he's giving me side glances and rolling his eyes at me. Like what's his fucking problem? I'm getting tired of his attitude. I cannot figure this man out when he's giving me literally fucking nothing to work work with.

This is going to be a short letter because I'm doing it between documents and shit. Sorry for it, babes.

Fact of the day? 

I crashed my motorbike two days ago. Well, crashed is weird to say, when in reality, a fucking friend, that's a vigilante (do not ask, I do not wanna talk about her right now, I'm mad at her) thought it was a funny idea to use her quirk on me and literally flew me off the damn thing and threw my baby in a river. I was so so goddamn close to blowing her up. Now I have to carpool with Shouto till I get a new one, which is gonna take another week. 

Very soon imma be hunting her ass down and locking her up for at least a month. She deserves it.

With documents waiting to be signed,

Kat.

9th June, Thursday, 1:40 AM

You're a Whole Juxtaposition, Dear

It's almost funny. I can't even understand where I should begin this, because really, my whole mood right now is made out of wanting to point out all the contrasting things you just said in your letter. Like a goddamn asshole. Sorry for being an asshole.

(but not really.)

First of all, please how could I have the same backpack since Highschool? It's still in Japan, with my mom, so no, you didn't get rid of it for it's still in the same country as you. If it were with me, then you could say you don't have to worry about it anymore. But unfortunately, mom loves to keep things from my childhood as mementos, and all that. But fuck, Kacchan, really? You just described me in such a bad boy way(not that I disagree, and I can't believe you really guessed my main outfit just like that.) after just going off about how much of a dork I was at U.A. I don't know if I should feel flattered or just take it as a fact of being, my development from my wide-eyed dorkness to a casual mess of existence. But yes, I chew on my pencils, not that I wasn't doing it while I was in Japan as well. Overthinker, yea? Us full-minders tend to develop some nasty habits. Now, though, it's more smoking and less anything else. Bad stuff, as you know as well, but fuck it. 

Alright, now the first thing I'm gonna call you out on: you wanting to see me in my university student glory while you say that you can't accept it. Funny, funny, but unfortunately for you, while thousands surely took pics of me these past weeks and posted them on all social medias with lots of keyboard smashes and all that(go look there if you're so curious), I don't have any of them. Don't ask for the reason, I don't really have one. Really. 

(And to address the beginning of your letter; is that really what I became, a fuck boy? Hm. You could say that. A shallow fuck boy, more likely, keeping in mind that I, in fact, didn't fuck anyone, less three people at once or however many they said. You know, when you think about it, it's a bit pleasant to be considered such a big gamer while you do nothing. Ironic as fuck, because I've been on these halls, smelled the real 'fuck boys' from a mile away. And I just stole their title within a few days with nothing more than my presence, I guess. Funny. Now it keeps you thinking about just how many people in university and high school are given titles and nicknames and are seen as something they're not, and we just eat it up like the truth has been spilled from the middle of the earth.)

But anyway. Yes, marriage is a tricky thing. I have some things I don't agree with on your part of reasons, but that's another thing entirely. The main thing here is that we both agree that marriage is a thing to be thought about seriously if it should ever happen or not. Just like with that labeling conversation we had a few months ago, still through letters. Isn't everything related to love such a complicated matter? (Todoroki being in charge of marrying someone seems a bit suspect, but I'm going to trust your judgment for better or worse.)

My day was good. It's like 1 am right now as I'm writing this, and I feel like I'm you all of sudden because you're the night owl between us(maybe not really. these nights have been awake for me as well, but that's unrelated to this.) It's all good. Work is going pretty good with nothing major happening. And all that. I can't really tell you too much in detail, for it's mostly monotone, slice-of-life stuff, even though you're asking so cutely, as if you're actually my husband going for a daily check-in(which, now it's time for the second call-out: you spitting a whole paragraph about not wanting to marry and then coming to me as if you're a spouse in need to know if you're partner has had an alright day, and then ranting about their own day. you can't tell me you don't notice the same vibe.)

I know I'm not very detailed about my daily life, about me, while you do truly say a lot of things about yours, you(by the way, go easy on interns, darling. you were one too, once. and I'm sure you were a fucking handful.) Truth is, it's hard for me to talk about such stuff, even with my mom. I don't know why. I can overshare about my dick shenanigans or about whatever fucked up thing happened at work, or past relationships, but I feel like I never tell you a lot about what I'm doing in the moment? Or my friends? Or my daily life, as I mentioned? I don't know. Maybe it's just a feeling. Maybe I'm going into overthinking mode. I hope you know it's not you. It's just how I've grown to be, I guess. Perhaps it really is all in my head? Hm. 

Moving on from all this because if not I will write about five more paragraphs with all my actually overthinking about the possible or not issue about me needing to be more wordy or I don't know, more informal(i don't think this is the right word for this, fucking hell), but I hope your day became wonderful after all that office stuff, and that you didn't actually drink three cups of coffee.

Try not to remain fixated on Todoroki and his weirdness, Kacchan. If it's something important he will say it eventually or unravel himself and his frustrations. Hopefully not violently. Try not to kill each other as you try to be good friends for each other, or as you try to yank confessions out of him. You're both stubborn assholes, but maybe you're the one who needs to be patient on this one. 

(you're giving your bike to a vigilante? oh, boy. I do hope no magazine or tabloid finds out about this. I can already see it from all the way back here in America: Ground Zero and his potential vigilante lover? Or some stupid shit that will either make me laugh or crackle with irritation. Also, I don't really know what to say to the fact that you want to lock her up as punishment, so I'm just going to acknowledge that you wrote that and move on.) 

My fact of the day is that, officially, all of my friends have discovered that I'm writing to you. They freaked out. Hard. Tried to find all the letters you sent me(with no success, the dumbasses), and now are almost every five minutes bringing you up into every conversation because they are hungry for gossip, love your Pro Hero alter ego, and love to frustrate me incredibly. I bet you're smirking reading this. Well, fuck you as well. 

with a middle finger up, but in a loving way,

Midoriya. 

15th June, Wednesday, 1:29 AM

I really wanna say something about that loving way of yours,

In fact, there are so many things that I wanna bitch about. Like you calling me out when there's no need for that, dear Izuku. I'm very aware of the fucking mess I am, thank you very much, no need for other comments about my hopeless self. Aizawa already gave me a stern talk about how I need to get my shit together and act the way I always was acting. 

Guess this letter gonna start with me going on a rant about the shit that's been gnawing at my brain for the last few days, cause is really stressing me out. Sometimes I feel like I got this habit, of ranting my heart out to you, from you, and I don't think it's a bad habit. There was this interview I was kinda forced to do, by my agency, and as much I don't like being forced into things, I knew that it needed to be done. It was benefic me and the agency since all I had to talk about was work and my future plans, taking in interns, and other normal boring shit. But goddamnit! They fucking had other plans. 

Everything started normal, I got there early to get the make-up done and try out my outfit, met the host of the show, and the reporters that were supposed to ask me shit. I was even in a good mood since I saw Shouto making a fool of himself in the kitchen before leaving.

But everything went downhill after like half an hour. Did I specify that this whole thing was a live kinda thingy? Yeah. 

There was this fucker that was glaring at me the whole time, clicking his fucking tongue every time I got a good reaction from the public or when someone was complimenting me and my work. He fucking looked like he ate a whole fucking bag of fucking lemon and he got indigestion. That fucking sour. 

When it was his turn to ask his questions he jumped straight into topics that everyone knows I'm not talking about it. Like why my parents kicked me out, my past relationships, my reputation as a fucking bully in U.A, he even had the guts to say that one of that I was one reasons you moved away. He didn't give me time to respond, not even to fucking breathe. Everything moved so quickly and it didn't feel like an interview anymore, but more like being in front of a shitty judge, listening to him blaming all of that shit on me. 

I was shaking. With anger. Fear at the same time. Cause I don't want to talk about it. About all of the shit that happened to me after you left, the person I was back then cause I don't think they’d understand. My reasons, or myself. They are just looking for something to make me a villain, a person that doesn't deserve their title or position as the number one hero.

‘How could a person with such a bad past be what we all call the Number One here, today?’ or ‘Bakugou Katuski, Pro Hero Ground Zero and The Number One Hero in Japan was a bully in his teens years, driving his former best friend to leave the country at such a young age.’

Those were just some of the shit he threw at me, and I'd to sit there, unable to defend myself, because defending myself means opening up about my past, and I don't wanna do it. I don't fucking want the whole world to know the shitty life I had. The hardships I had to face.

So fuck them all. Let them say what they want, cause I know who I am now. I know what I am. And most important? People I hold dear know that. 

Yes, I had a nasty personality, and I still do. Yes, I was a jackass and said some shit I shouldn't. I wasn't perfect and I will never be. But I'm no villain, Izu. Everything but fucking that.

I can be everything they want me to be, but not a villain. 

So, if you see the interview or someone is asking you about it, just know I haven't said anything about you. About us. About our letters. Cause the world doesn't need to know. 

They don't need to know that you're the closes to heaven I can get

Imma end my fucking rant cause I imma go spiraling into something I really don't want to think about it. 

Now lemme just respond to some things you wrote in your letter since I made a small list of things that I need to address. First, I think I'm gonna visit Aunty Inko when I have some time. You know, have a little chat with her, maybe a cup of tea or something and then destroy that hideous yellow backpack. Thanks for making my job easier. :)

Second, and I think this is gonna be a longer point since you basically went on a rant about it. You don't need to force yourself to open up about your daily life, dear. Take your time. Cause I know how hard it is, to write shit about yourself when you're a more closed-off person. I noticed in your letters that you like to talk about situations that seem funny to you or topics that are,,, deep or fucking hard, but not too much about you, as a person, but I haven't said anything, cause I don't want you to feel compelled to do it. 

I'm happy with whatever pieces of yourself you give me. Even if they are small or insignificant, I’m still happy, Izuku. 

Everyone has their own pace with opening up and talking about themselves, and if you feel you are not ready yet, or you just want a bit more time to think, to make some order in your mind and sort out what you want to share about yourself, that's totally ok. Don't worry. As much as I love to hear about all the funny shit you did in America and about your friends, I want you to tell me because you want that. Ok? Ok. 

That being the case, let us move on to a lighter topic, cause this letter is a mess on a deeper fucking level. 

Your friends finding out about me puts a smile on my face, not gonna lie to you, but at the same time, I have so many questions that are at the tip of my tongue, ready to get out. But I need to compose myself, imma just ask one or two.  Why did your friends freak out? I mean there are some reasons I can think about but still. In a way, I never thought about the fact that they might know about me, or the relationship we had in the past, kinda stupid I know. And they looking for our letters is funny; seeing them desperate to find out about our little secret, ugh. Don't tell them anything, it's more fun that way, love. 

And a small psa, I did not give her my motorbike. My poor baby is somewhere on the bottom of the river, getting rusty and waiting for the water creatures to make their home in it. I get sad every time I think about it. That piece of metal was dear to me, I have so many memories with it. I remember this one time when me and Shouto were coming back from a mission, all bloody and bruised. I barely could see the road in front of me, and Sho was half asleep on my back. We drove around a full hour, and that night I didn't even wear my helmet since I was busy wiping the blood off my face every five minutes. When we got home, we both just fell from the bike, laying on the concrete and laughing our asses off when it started raining. I was in severe pain, but hearing Todoroki saying that he thought he would make it home because of my bad driving skills while being bloody still makes me happy for some reason.

And here we are, at the end of this letter. 

Fact of the day: I've been losing myself lately, cause a lot of shit happened and still happens, but your letters always bring me back, reminding me that it's not that bad. 

Plus, a more cute fact, Bubbles just got taller. Out of nowhere. And here I was, thinking she was too old to grow up. Well, I was wrong.

Frustratingly and devastatingly, 

Yours.

19th June, Sunday, 9:23 PM

I Want To Burn Stuff Down,

If I could, I would. Fuck self-restraint. I've always been on the principle that I need to be on my best behavior at most, my worst in only the best of moments, the ones that don't matter as much when it comes to image, for image, sadly, makes majority of what a Pro Hero entails, and if that isn't a clean line, then you're going to have a shadow at your feet, a dark, twisting one that distracts you from what is truly important: namely being a fucking Hero.

So in interviews, let's just say I am a good boy, even if it shouldn't be this way, even if people do cross lines and test patience, and virtue, and the wit of the tongue. But I do swear, that this little thing that has happened to you, out of thousands of interviews, out of thousands of circumstances and hundreds of similar rumors, is making me want to throw restraint and good posture out of the fucking window, and crack someone's bones. Perhaps it is because it's not about me, and I wouldn't give a single flying fuck if my golden reputation got a smear if it meant going out of extreme lengths to protect yours, and perhaps because it involved me, and absurd notions of you being the reason I'm out of the country.

Kacchan. Katsuki. No. No. I do hope, from the bottom of my troubled soul, that you won't think, for a second, even a split-one, even a stray thought, that you were in any shape or form, in any mini-moment, in any thought, a reason of mine in the decision I made to leave for America. Never. If I had to admit something now, in my vexed-infused mind, with no abstained mood, with no modest-quality at my fingertips, then I will go all out and say that you, Katsuki Bakugo, are one of the very few reasons that make me, often at times, consider coming fucking back to Japan. You have always been one, even before we began our letter exchange, even before I thought I meant nothing more to you than a source of nostalgia, memory stimulation, and frequent annoyance. 

So fuck that interview and his worthless misconception to come for you, to use me against your person, your alter ego, and as a reason to belittle everything you've accomplished as the number one, a hero, and a friend. He doesn't know more than shallow surfaces of an acute expanse of threaded childhood and teenage years, and he never will for he's a piece of shit looking to create trivial content in the hopes of becoming something significant for a certain amount of time that ultimately becomes nothing more than a past that no one even acknowledges as real, or even as something that happened. You've never been a villain, Kacchan, even if you did have your own wrongdoings as a kid, as a teenager. And I could never think of you as one, for everything, all in all, and in some way or form. Never doubt that you're always going to shape the concept of victory in my mind, and be it completely. You're my victory. And I hope my anger is somewhat of a comfort for you, even if, perhaps, I should been more soft-minded and handled this ramble in a gentle manner. Use a caress on you, given you sympathy instead of all this. It didn't seem proper. I'm sorry. I just want you to feel my utmost genuine emotion for this shitty thing that happened to you. This is me, and I'm furious, and I have so much to respond to when it comes to this last letter you've sent me so I 

Uh, hi. Wow, this is hard. Alright, I need to write something worthwhile before I freak out and back out from writing at all. So, I'm not Izuku as you can probably see from the shitty, trembly writing I'm giving you here. My name is Parker. Uh, pronouns she/her, thank you very much. HHH, ok. What I'm trying to tell you for five minutes now is that I'm sorry I'm the one writing, and that I've read ur last letter, but I needed to do it because Izuku has been complaining constantly about not being able to do this after today and most likely my life will be in severe danger when he finds out he didn't do it and I did instead, but I feel very responsible for him not doing it.

Why? Because I was the one with the idea to ambush his house and have a goodbye party for him tonight, and currently he is passed out, face-down drunk, and won't really wake up until a few minutes before he needs to leave the country for a long-term mission. We fucked up, mister Kacchan. We got him so drunk that he wasn't even able to walk a step forward, and face planted right next to the kitchen door, and oh god I came into his bedroom to see if I can bring him at least some more pillows and blankets and saw the letter opened and half-written and yours next to it, and I freaked out because he's leaving in a few hours for Siberia and he TOLD us that he doesn't want to delay your letters more than a few days, and I can just imagine his depressed face if he did. He's going to be horrible. Deku in a broody mood is downright terrifying.

We don't want that. Me and his other friends. I'd rather risk my life writing you this and sending it and telling him that I did it for his sake and ours, than let him go on a one-mouth mission with a gloomy mood and maybe get himself fucked up even more than he usually does because of it.

Alright, alright, now that I've explained and I hope you understand, um, I'm going to just ramble my thoughts to you, because I feel like I need to give you at least something to make up for all this shit. I will only respond to some things in your letter that I consider that can be answered by me. in no way shape or form do I think that I have a right to answer anything!! but for the sake of sending this and it not being totally empty, and barely a response. so yes. I'm sorry.

So. We, his friends, freaked out upon finding out about this letter thingy because, well, Izuku is... He's a very intriguing person. Because he's friendly, but he also keeps to himself so so much. like, he's the "I can't believe I know him and I can call him my friend' type of friend you have in your circle. you have no idea, mister kacchan, just how many people would give everything to be in your place or to even hold a piece of the attention and smiles he gives even the mention of your name heard on tv or on the streets. From what I've seen these past years, he is really and truly the person you can name almost impossible to really impress. he's someone so high up, you can't touch him. he can give you the smallest of disdained glances and you won't dare to ever approach him. he's rich, he's handsome, he has a good personality and is smart and the most popular hero in maybe the whole world, and so strong that sometimes the air around him radiates with pure electricity, and yet he's such an easy person to make friends with, but the moment you have the nerve to want more from him, like an actual romantic relationship or at least to shoot your shot at maybe having sex with him... well, good luck.

he's had relationships, yes, but I can really say they were all a fluke. and then we somehow find out by mistake that he's been corresponding with you, another big shot hero, and surprisingly his childhood best friend, and he has this soft energy about himself. like, let me put up this perspective: you go to his house with a friend that he has never met before, and from the moment he sees you and makes a simple introduction, hair mussed and eyes lidded with mere nonchalance, he never gives you another gaze, nothing more than simple, cordial attention.

but let's say, you're the friend I would bring over to his house. and I can guarantee, even if you two never knew each other, the moment he put his eyes on you he would have been a goner. I've never seen Izuku affected by someone, truly flustered by a person, not until a few years back, maybe three when we were at his house, and another friend of ours, Elijah, changed the channel by mistake, and you were on the screen, from the recent news, talking gruffly about the incompetence of one of the agencies that did some sort of important event in plain street that gave a very dangerous villain the possibility to plan an attack, and let me tell you that Izuku's reaction to seeing you and your annoyance and your very sharply, smart put words... never have I ever thought I could see him in that numbly puddle of goo. he really... respects you, a lot. 

so I just want to say, by all this stupid ramble of mine that you shouldn't look too deep in, that we're freaking out because, well, we're glad he connected with you again, and we really want you to be a part of his life again. you're a weakness of his, one of few, and it's entertaining and really cute to see him not be this nonchalant, friendly powerful person, and just a man in awe and caring so deeply that he forgets even himself sometimes.

Um, but yes, that's that, and I'm sorry that 'don't tell them anything' is not going to work anymore. Well, if it softens you, I can say that I'm the only one who read your letter, his major Japanese friend who made him try university for a bit. That part was a rollercoaster, by the way. Izuku as a university student is somehow more dangerous than a Pro Hero. Only him, I swear to god.

But yes. You're really cool as well, just wanted to point out. Can't believe I'm talking to Pro Hero Ground Zero. Number one in Japan. I hope my Japanese is good enough that you understood all this. I'm in my third year. Trying hard. I hope to one day be able to come to Japan to find my dream job. And maybe even meet you, and the rest of Izuku's good friends from there.

I think Noah is screaming for me, perhaps wondering what the fuck am I even doing in Izuku's room. Good God, ok, I'm gonna go before someone else comes up here and this whole thing becomes a shitshow that will really make Izuku kill all of us. 

Goodbye, mister Kacchan

Parker 

Chapter Text

30th June, Thursday, 1;24 AM

Wait, hold on a fucking second, 

I don't wanna sound rude, but, who the fuck is Parker (Hello, darling, I appreciate the fact that you took time and finished that letter. Thank you.), and why the fuck is she in your fucking house? Is she the friend that made you a fucking fuckboy? Slap my fucking ass and call me fucking old man McDonald. That's a fucking pleasant surprise.  

Now, jokes aside, I wanna start with how fucking adorable and sweet Parker is,, or at least that's what I got from that letter. And I’m also addressing this letter to both you, Izu, and Parker, cause she deserves a response. She fucking saved your ass in a way.  

Reading the second part of the letter, I can understand how you felt when Shouto wrote to you,,, it was weird, but also kinda nice. Because I got to see a part of yourself from another person's view and holy fuck, I have no words to describe how I feel right now. 

Since you’re on a mission, I don't know when you're gonna read this letter, maybe it's gonna take another few weeks, even a month or two, but that's ok. I hope you enjoyed your farewell party and you didn't had a hell of a hangover after that, and if you did, well, sucks to be you. And to address a few things you said, cause oh my God, Izu, you have a way with your fucking words, it's insane. 

Yes, your aggressive rambling offered me comfort and made me happy to hear that you would throw away your ‘good boy’ reputation for me. I really want to say thank you for that, but believe me, darling, that fucking dirty rat doesn't deserve your rage. Not even a glance from you. The media went crazy after that, yes, and it was a bit hard to run away from reporters and all the negative shit that was online, but it didn't affect me at all. Their words cannot hurt me, I have tough skin so this is nothing. Plus, people who support me are more powerful than the haters. Goddamnit, they destroyed everyone that came after my name. 

And to hear you saying (well writing but that's irrelevant at this moment), that I’m “your victory” was more than enough to give me the peace I was searching for in all of that madness. Actually, my first reaction was a very loud ‘what the fuckity fuck’; so loud that I woke Shouto from his nap. Let us say he didn't like that. I swear, from now on, when someone asks me what or who I am, imma answer with “I’m Izuku Midoryia’s, Pro Hero Deku’s, victory. Nice to meet ya.” Watch out for that in my future interviews.

Ok, now that we dealt with that, I’m going to start what I was actually excited about. 

Hello, Parker. I really hope this will reach you since I have so much to tell you,

Calling me ‘Mister Kacchan’ that's,,, the most adorable thing someone called me. I’m used to all the weird nicknames my friends gave me, and the simple ol’ ‘Kacchan’ was already cute, but you made it even more. But since, I guess, you're the same age as Izu and me, there's no need for that mister. You can speak informally to me, I’m not gonna bite your head off, sweetie. Also, your Japanese is good, don't you worry about that, kiddo. I was surprised when I saw it. It flows nicely and it's understandable. 

You told me a lot of things about Izuku, and thank you so much for it, but there were some small details that I still cannot process. Like how you said that the nerd is affected by me and that I’m his weakness, but we gonna dive into those topics later, cause I have a whole ramble on the way.

First, I wanna ask, how on the earth have you convinced this blockhead to go to college? Share your tricks, I wanna know all of them since I might need them in the future. For good and pure reasons, of course. Oh, I also hope he didn't cause you trouble those three weeks he was there,,, he can be kind of a troublemaker from what I remember. At least, now, he doesn't break his bones every five seconds. At least that, haa. I don't know if he told you all about his teen days, and if he didn't, well, I’m going to tell you now. Small bits of it, and things that I hope Izu is gonna be comfortable with me sharing.

He was a menace, to everyone around him and himself. Breaking his bones, as I said prior, having this big hero and martyr complex, he got himself in trouble way too many times. And his notebooks, oh God, they were full of notes and things that could help every hero and future hero he saw/knew. If someone saw him, they would think he was part of the support course, not the hero one. But he helped so many people with his silly notes.  I will let him tell you more about his U.A. days cause they are truly interesting if you exclude all the attacks and shitty things that happened in that period as well. 

I know this letter might not flow that smoothly, and pretty but there are so many things I want to say that all the topics are a mess in my head, and I’m trying my best to make it easy to read. 

At a point, you said that ‘ many people would give everything to be in my place’ and I can understand why you said that, because yes, being friends with the most loved Pro Hero is a big deal. I agree with that, but most people forget that even we, the big, brave, and powerful Heroes, are just normal humans at the end of the day. If you take away our titles, we would be nothing more than humans. We have our struggles and shit days. This is weird, I don't know why but it is just weird, but if people are just after the ‘ oh god I’m friends with this Pro Hero!’ they don't deserve to be in my place or even yours. Cause I can say the same thing about you. I bet people envy you just because you're a close friend of Deku’s. So yeah, people would die to be in our place just for that reason. Maybe you meant something else, or maybe not, but to be honest with you, dear, I’m not gonna wreak my brain to find some hidden meaning behind your sweet words just for the sake of it.  So let's leave it at that. Just the superficial reason. Ok?

And now the ramble that I was talking about earlier, I don't think im Izuku’s weakness, I mean, yes we are childhood friends and all of that, but I don't think of myself as one of his weaknesses. If you said that about Aunty Inko, I would agree in a heartbeat with you, but not me. I don't think I deserve that place yet, or ever. Being someone's weakness is,,, something so big. So personal and heartbreaking, and as I said, I don't deserve that. I don't really know what made you think like that, but I suppose you might be wrong, my dear. I don't want to get in more details about that, I don't think I’m ready for that one.

Same with him being ‘affected by me’, maybe it was just the shock of seeing me after all those years, and our relationship when he left wasn't so pretty, so I’m sure he was just overwhelmed by the feelings that washed over him way too fast. Maybe that interview brought him memories that we should not talk about because I remember I was livid back then. It was a big thing, and so many lives were at risk just because of a stupid mistake. The villain that I was dealing with at that moment wasn't your usual shitty and dumb one, no, he was smart as fuck, and I was trying to catch him for months, so them offering him the damn opportunity to hurt so many people in such a cruel way, made me boil with rage. But thanks to the people I was with, we managed to stop it before anything happened. Thank god. 

I have a very nasty personality when I’m mad, and Izuku knows that well, unfortunately. Of course, he would be affected by that, fuck it. I mean, you wouldn't be affected by seeing the person you had kind of a bad history with, after years of not seeing them? Cause I would. 

Maybe you will call me a negativistic person, since I kinda turned everything you said into things that are not that,,, pretty, but that's my opinion on this situation. I might be wrong about everything I said since I haven't been around Izu in so long, so I don't know his personality now, I don't know how much he changed (from what I read in your letter he changed a lot. I already knew that, but you confirming that its just,,, surreal in a way.), and how he's handling his emotions now. Im just gonna lie to myself in convincing my dumb brain to believe everything I wrote here.

Anyway, this took a sad turn, and I think it's not what you expected from me, from us, maybe, but I said this earlier, we are humans behind our names and titles. 

I hope to see you soon in Japan. Take a small break and come here for a vacation, I’m sure you gonna love it. I would love to show you around as well, but since everyone knows my face that's gonna be a hassle and kinda hard. But if you actually find yourself here, drop by my agency and I will see what I can do to make your stay pleasant. 

I think I rambled enough in this letter so I’m gonna end this here. It was nice to meet you, Parker, I hope you have a good day/night. 

Fact of the day for Izuku: the agencies around the country wish to create a magazine with their heroes. A summer pictorial in Osaka. I don't know what they are thinking but I know this is gonna be a whole ass fucking fan service shit. But if I can throw Icy-Hot in the ocean and escape still alive, I’m all for that.

P.s: I bet you're having this whole cute pout now since someone else responded to my letter for you. Don't be too sad, pretty. It is ok. :)

Cordially,

The boom boom boy.

16th September, Friday, 18:39 PM

Dear sad boi mode,

It's been three months, and I have lots to say. First, I just got back from my mission a few days ago, so I can efficiently declare I don't want to revisit Siberia anytime soon. Three months of it is enough. But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm safe and healthy, as I'm sure this is what you want to know. 

Moving on... All of the things directed to Parker will be received by her, though in another format because no way in hell am I giving away my letter. So there's that. And of course, because this stuff is in my letter, I will go ahead and just comment on everything and anything you said, because it's just so ironic, you asshole. 

Yesterday I saw the ranking polls from Japan. By chance, really, because I've been too tired these days to really do or be interested in anything; but by chance what do I see, Kacchan? I see you winning 1st spot on The Prettiest of Pro Heroes 2022. (I think those summer magazines were just the appetizer, and I bet yours are the ones that sell best. What chances do I have of getting my hands on one? Here’s so hard to find any before people get their claws on them.)

And now I'm sure you're asking yourself, why are you onto this, Deku? Nothing in particular. It's funny to see how all the other 'peacock' like Pros are taken down a notch by you, darling, who couldn't care less about this stuff. The one who loves to scowl more than anything in the world. You're seen as the prettiest Pro Hero of Japan, and I can amusedly say that it's true, even if I know you don't think so. And also, it reminded me of that one time in U.A. when the whole school had that competition between classes about who's the most handsome/pretty/cute (I actually don't remember the details. that one was a fever dream on its own.) and Shouto didn't want to take a part in. Remember how our whole class gave up in an instant, saying that without him we were a lost cause? But then, Kirishima came in like one of your explosions, all offended and stuff, and just when I thought that he would say he's an option as well, he tugged you by the shirt and the whole class was staring at your confused, but mostly annoyed face(do you know how much you used to pout back then? did I already say this in any other letter? do you still do it?)

Gosh, that was fun. Mina was screaming at the top of her lungs that you're nowhere near what we could call pretty or whatever, and that day Kirishima really did the impossible and came later in the night with a picture taken of your calm face, and the whole class exploded because God, Kacchan, you're so fucking pretty without even trying, and that's the funniest thing ever. You can just sit there, expressionless, and boom, you win The Prettiest of Pros, the prettiest at U.A. Turns out, when you don't scowl, you turn the world upside down. :) What a surprise, eh?

Now I'm gonna tie all this rambling about how pretty you are with the fact that you really transformed everything Parker oh so graciously exposed under your nose into a whole shitshow of sadness. And I'm the overthinking one? How is that? You beat me to it. Congrats. You really mangled it up, Kats. 

So let it be clear: Me being affected by you doesn't correlate with you having behavioral issues. It's not PSTD. I have plenty of it, and you don't fit in that anymore. Me being affected by you means I hear your voice and it does things to me, or I see your red eyes and I immediately remember how it feels to be alongside you and have it by my side, that calculated stare that could bring the biggest of scums on their knees. I'm affected by the modifications you did to your Hero Suit. I'm affected by the roughness of your words when you're irritated with the interviewer, because it sets your wittiness off, and I'm into it, yea? So get it straight. 

Everything Parker said is true, and not even four full letters of you twisting it into something negative will make it anything other than that. I would drop mostly anything for you, which can be considered a weakness. You're a weakness. It's a weakness I proudly own. What are you gonna do about it, hm? Nothing. Let me feel how I feel because you're right, I'm more in control of my feelings than ever, and if what I feel about you is not to your liking, well too bad, Katsuki Bakugou, because I'm gonna continue doing so, and you can either suck it up or do something about it in person. Is it personal and heartbreaking like you said? I don't know. I feel it intimately, so personal it may just be, but the heartbreaking part varies on the things we both do. Let's not go there, because as you can see, I'm trying to get out of the sad boi mode you put onto us. 

Now, I'm gonna tell you about this new assistant I have. She's kind of cute, in a weird way. Like, very serious, not even a smile, but also very soft. I've been needing help with paperwork, and she just came in two days ago, and damn if she isn't efficient. But best of all, she has these forest green nails and they seem to glow with turquoise lines, which can only be described as Deku nails, right? That's fucking awesome, right? We have nails after us, Kacchan. Nails. Now I wonder what your nails would be like. Orange? Black with little bursts of orange? Hm. Wanted to tell you this because it seemed very fucking adorable, and I dunno, just wanted to tell you this little thing that made me smile. 

Alright, I really need to get to bed before I fall asleep on the desk and fuck my back again. My fact of that letter is that I fought a big as fuck polar bear with my bare hands and won. Couldn't help but mention this; it was exhilarating. (also please send some of those summer magazines with you in them. I do actually think that I'm not gonna find any to buy anymore.)

feeling sleepy and cuddly,

happi boi deku

20th September, Tuesday, 21:58 PM

Hey, erm, it’s good to have you back, 

These past few months weren't the same without your letters, and I found myself checking the mailbox every day, more than once. Sometimes, if I wasn't home, I would call Shouto, asking him if your letter had arrived. My friends called me a "teenager girl waiting for her crush to notice them," which resulted in me slapping them into the next Monday, but that's another thing that I don't really have the necessary energy to talk about. They teased the living daylight out of me, and I hate them for that. I'm going to get back at them sooner or later. Don't you worry about that.

They also teased me because I won that poll thingy. I mean, I actually had no fucking idea that I was one of the participants ‘till Mina literally busted my door, her phone shoved in my face, and started screaming how all of the other Pro Heroes were so far behind me. Even fucking Todoroki. I mean, I had fun at that photoshoot, so I guess the pictures turned out pretty ok, since the photographer let us do our things, saying that "he just wanted to capture us in our natural element" or some kind of bullshit like this. There were some pictures that haven't been published because they were silly. Just like a picture where I was throwing Shouto into the ocean or some pic with the whole group using Sero’s tape as lianas and jumping into the water. It was a pretty relaxing day if you ask me, and to be honest with you, Izu, I would do it again. This is in my top 5 favorite photoshoots, right beside the one I did a few years ago, where they wanted to photograph me while I was working on my motorcycle.

The memory you added to your letter was something I forgot about a long time ago. Since, as you said, I didn't care one bit about it. I remember that day now. I was running low on sleep because I was training like a madman, and I think that's one of the reasons I let Shitty Hair drag me around like that and give into his annoying whining and fucking participate in that stupid thing. Also, that pic was taken when I was sleepy. If I am correct, we were in my dorm room, and I was sitting in a beanbag Denki brought, listening to all of their shit talk, and, well, I think I dozed off for a handful of minutes, and when I woke up, Kirishima was holding this polaroid, with a big annoying grin on his face, saying how he would make the others eat their words. I didn't fucking care what he said, and I kicked them all out of my room so I could get some sleep, and the rest is history. (Yes, I still pout sometimes, especially when I am tired, a habit I don't think I will ever get rid of.)

A small note here because I feel I will forget about it, but I love the fact that you think I'm pretty when you, yourself, are a piece of art. (Can’t believe I fucking wrote this. I’m not regretting it, though.)

What can I say, my dear, I absolutely adore destroying things for myself. I thought you were used to it by now, but I guess not. Hmm. 

If I didn't know you, I would say that you were confessing your eternal love for me in those two paragraphs. OK, Mr. "Lemme feel what I want and what I feel.” I will let you have your way. So tell me, what does my voice do to you, dear? How does it affect the most powerful hero that exists in our era, and what exactly does my calculated stare mean for you? I want to know what's going on in your pretty head when someone says my name in your vicinity because when someone says your name, I'm all ears. Your name to me is power, a thing that will push me beyond my limits because you, my dear, give me a new reason to go beyond everything I am, I know, and I will ever know. I'm not going to explain myself; I will let you decipher this by yourself. I know you can do it. You're a smart boy. 

Also, why is everyone getting a new assistant? Every single person around me is bragging about their new interns and assistants, and here I am, stuck with the same assistant for the past five years. Don't get me wrong, I adore her; she's the best I've ever had, but what happened to all of you? Is there something I'm not aware of? I hope she's going to stick with you for a long time, seeing how much you like her. Tell her to get my design next time and send me a pic, please. (Yes, my designs are mainly orange, with notes of black and green. When I was scrolling through social media, I came across a highly realistic nail art of myself. Some people are really talented.)

I'm not surprised you fought a polar bear. I mean, why would I be surprised when you, reckless fucker, were ranked number one in a "terrifying heroes" poll? I wish I was there to watch that happen. A shame.

I will send you the magazines, don't worry, and I will also add some of the pictures they decided to not publish. I think you deserve to see them. Add them to your shrine of me, light some incense as well, and pray for my popularity. In a way, I feel like I need it since I've been following your steps in being an even more reckless fuck than I already am.

For example, last week I was invited to a party (first mistake), and of course, I accepted it and showed up already tipsy since I went there directly after a company dinner (second mistake). From what I remember, it was a party for some magazine release that I worked with in the past. It was fun seeing people I hadn't seen in ages, talking about stuff that was going on, taking a break from work, but what wasn't fun was when people pushed me into a drinking contest (annnnnd third mistake. Out of the game, Katuski, you dumb fuck.) Yeah, that wasn't fun at all. I ended up more drunk than I planned and, let's say, I became a giggly motherfucker. That was in the middle of the dance floor, with more people than I can remember. Plus, because of my hangover, my quirk didn't cooperate with me anymore when I was trying to catch a small fry villain and I blew up a billboard. 

I bet that the tabloids will have a fucking field day about that. 

Anyway, that's for my letter today.

Fact of that day, when I went out with Shouto to get some groceries, we also looked at the magazine section. Of course, I had to rub the fact that I won that stupid poll in Shoutos's face since he ranked number 2. I don't give a shit that he won "the most handsome hero" or whatever. I am the prettiest . Fuck him. But while we were browsing through them, a fuckhead came screaming something about how I didn't deserve my ranks and titles and used his quirk on me. Or I think he tried to. He escaped before we realized what the fuck was going on, and since nothing happened to me, I think he just fucking failed. 

Don't worry, Todo already dragged me to the hospital for a complete check-up and they found nothing. We good, dear. 

With words that aren't enough to describe all I want to say to you, 

Dandelion with anger issues

27th September, Tuesday, 9:17 AM

Dear prettiest dandelion, 

When I hear your voice, my whole body melts like honey. Like slow, warmed honey that fell in love with the sun. I hear it, and I can believe you're real. I hear it, and my heart knows it's you without even having to see your pretty face. I could be all kinds of fucked up, you could be accused of the biggest crime, and by just hearing the inflictions in your voice, I can tell if you did it or not. Your voice is one of my favorite sounds. And your eyes. Your eyes could bring me to my knees. I want to see them in every way possible. I want to see them sleepy, angry, the calculated little narrow I oh so love, the way they water when you drink alcohol, because I bet they do. I want to see them glow when you look at me. I want to see them blur when I get you under me. Because I want to. I want to make you fall apart, and see those red eyes become black. 

And when someone else says your name near me? They don't do it right, darling. All the praise that you receive from others is welcome, but it will never amount to my praise for you. To my urge to tell you how you're the only victory, I will ever truly feel in this life. My urge to tell you that you're my good boy, you're my hero. Power doesn't even get close to describing the way I feel when I get to say your name, and the power that I would feel to get to whisper kacchan in your ear under the watch of the stars. I'm gonna stop here, because really, all the little things that you do, that you are, and all the big ones. They're one of the few reasons I breathe with so much ease every day.

How is this for a confession, love? 

I received the pics and the magazines. Thank you. You know, I have this wall, in between the hundreds of plants that I raise and take care of. And it's full of pictures of everyone in my life that I care for deeply. My mom. All of class A from U.A., All Might, everyone who I met and succeeded to make a change in me. But, there's this one corner, and it's filled with only pics of us two. From the moment we became neighbors and friends, to our toughest moments, to our U.A. days, to now. And it will grow, because I will keep requesting pictures from you, and I will continue to put them there, like I keep you in my mind every day. 

Also, I don't need to decipher when I already know what you're talking about it. 

(I can't believe I missed giggly kacchan. Curse this distance. I would kill for one single night where you're giggly and all over me. Fuck.)

I will keep this letter short for obvious reasons. I had more to say, but I will dare to send only this much. The fact of the letter is that I noticed something. You keep calling me dear , but I know that in real life you wouldn't touch this word with a ten feet pole. I bet your voice curls the sweetest around the word baby, or babe. I bet on it with my all. It's cute. The little differences in letters, from what I know you are in real life, even after years have passed. I just have this feeling that I'm right. 

With sappiness dripping from my very being,

Midoriya the lover boy

1st October, Saturday, 18:28 PM

How dare you? How fucking dare you,

To mark this letter all over with your scent that only sent me in an endless spiral of missing you more than I already do, to say all of the things I thought I will never hear from you, that I kept them just in the deepest parts of my imagination and how fucking dare you to make me feel the things I always ran away from? How dare you to call me love, asking me about the confession I could just dream about? Just,,, how dare you?

You make me wanna scream from the top of my lungs but also curl in a ball and cry till I can't breathe anymore. Because your words are painful, in multiple ways actually. They are painful because I yearn to hear them in person, but also it makes the reality I created for myself to shatter. I’m standing here, like a dumbass, in front of this letter not knowing what to write to you, cause its painful. 

So painful to imagine your eyes sparkling at a mere stranger saying my name; and my heart breaks at the thought of your big, but also gentle, hands tracing each and every scar on my body while whispering sweet nothings about it, and I hate the fact that I get those stupid butterflies just by thinking about it. About you and your dark curls in my lap, about the sweet giggles you always do when you're shy, and the way you would say my name. Fuck Izuku, please don't do this to me. Not right now. 

Your good boy. Your hero. Are you planning on killing me? Was that your intention? Cause if it was, congratulation, you succeeded, you sly bastard.

The entire letter had me in shambles, making me feel a way I never felt before. Funny how just a few words from you cannot compare with the wildest nights or the best sex I ever had. For your existence alone, I'm the weakest man alive, and I will remind like this. This is a new thrill that I enjoy way too much, love. And I live for it. 

Confession, ha. Yeah, your confession was more than enough. You don't know what you did to me with that, it's insane actually. 

Now, this is gonna take kind of a weird turn, but I need to write this so you can understand what imma gonna say after. Remember that in my last letter, I said how I was hit, once again, by an unknown quirk? Well, it's not unknown anymore.
A few days later after I send your letter, I came to the realization of this horrific thing ( also, I swear to every fucking God existing, imma kill that dude. The things that imma do to him once I find the fucker gonna be in the history books under the ‘gruesome torture’ heading with my name all in bold letters.) and after some research, me and Shouto found out that I ‘suffer’ from a condition called ‘Being an omega’. I'm not gonna go into details about it cause it just makes me sick to my stomach, but you can look that up. 

Its,,, literally hell, I’m not gonna lie to you. I hate it with every single cell in my body and because of it, I’m not in a good mental space for now, but once I received your letter, was like everything was back to normal. Your scent calmed me down, among other things that I’m not gonna discuss in this letter. 

You smell so calming. I have millions of ways to describe your scent, but not enough words, my dear. So for the past few days, I locked myself in my room, surrounding myself with your scent and some of Shoutos hoodies. His scent is also calming, but I think it is because I'm so familiar with him. Also, this fucker won’t shut the fuck up, keeps asking me what’s his scent, and I always avoid his stupid questions; but he smells like ocean water, a bit of cinnamon and orchids. A weird combo, but so pleasant to have around.

I'm also gonna keep this short, way too many things are gonna be left unsaid, but for now, I cannot address them in my condition, so please understand.

Fact of the day? In my research thingy, I found out that people are writing fanfics about almost every single hero that existed, and oh boy, they are wild, if I can say that.

With your letter still around my pillow,

Truly, but truly yours.

22nd November, Tuesday, 12:23 PM

Dear Mine,

I actually didn't know which is harder at first, writing such a sappy, mushy letter about my feelings or receiving your letter where you actually truly reciprocate my feelings and are equally as mushy as me about it. Oh, God. Let me tell you, my initial thought was that you're gonna tease me for my cheesiness, because that's what the Katsuki Bakugou I used to know did, he hid behind teasing, he snorted at emotional vulnerability most of the time, but then I read your words and they instantly reminded me that we're older, we've both changed in so many ways. You did curse a little bit in it, but there's so much more that kind of made me blush to the roots of my curls, as well as smile endearingly. 

So this is a thing: I will admit it, we're fucking flirting. Amazing. You know, I never thought I will get to this point. When we began our letter exchange, I just thought, ah, my childhood love is writing to me, maybe this time I will have the chance to become friends with him, to have some sort of relationship, even if a mere friendship. Friendship is better than nothing, especially for a bond as complicated as ours. I've never thought we would get to the point where the casual little pet names actually transformed into flirting, where I would get a letter about you being so affected by my words, about you being so lovely for me. 

Because I've always had something for you, some type of feelings. Even if they sometimes grew or lessened depending on our state of relationship, for me you've always been a person I admire so much it made my bones ache. And growing into an adult without having you by my side didn't do anything to make them disappear, and then you contacted me, and you did it in such a way that made my soul grow bigger. So congrats as well, Kacchan, you have me whipped for you, even more so than ever before. You made me fall in love properly, without even being actually present. No fucking joke, asshole. Nowadays every time I drive and a love song comes through, I can only think about you while I sing them. Fuck if I know how to stop it (I don't actually want to stop it.)

I feel you about this distance. Is the most horrible thing at the moment, not being able to tell you all these things, to be able to actually confess when exactly I knew I had begun feeling something for you, to be able to cuddle you and talk 'till the sun joined us on the sky. But it's enough that it's happening, at the moment. I am allowed to know that you think you're mine, as I think I'm yours, and I'm able to call you mine. That's like learning all over to breathe. It's astonishing. 

Now, after pouring another piece of my heart into a letter, I gotta say, when I first read about your present condition, I instinctually thought nothing more of it. But then you were blabbering (cutely) about scents (wait, what's mine? you didn't say what's mine :( ) and about fanfiction and curiosity got the best of me.

And now I'm properly fucking offended. 

Because, Kacchan, if you can believe, out of the millions of fics on all the sites, we have only 10 or so together?? And not even good or finished ones! I admit, I got a bit into a rabbit hole about fanfics last night, but the fact that people don't think more about the possibility of The Symbol of Peace and the Nr. 1 Pro Hero in Japan being shipped together is atrocious. Not to mention the fucking audacity of you and Shotou having 40k fics together! How is it possible? And why did I read so many of them despite being so miffed about it? 

(they're good, I can't deny. These authors are blessed with words.)

Yes, I read about you and Shotou falling in love, and fucking. And it was horrible as it was good, because I may not really be a jealous man by default, but the choice of putting myself through that because the writing was so good kind of made me rethink my levels of jealousy. God, if people found out I was reading fanfiction... I don't even want to think what would come of that. 

I didn't really touch the ones with me though. I have no interest in reading about me dicking people and charming people, especially since neither of them had you in it. I admit, I'm a little disappointed about not finding fics where we flirt, and fall in love, and other things that surely would have gotten some giggles out of me. Pity. Maybe we can do something about that.

Not to mention, that after reading about omega verse in so much detail(people have such a rich imagination, God. that was something else), the fact that you're in a house alone with Shotou in your condition stupidly worries me, and it's utterly ridiculous, because I trust him completely, and I don't even know if your "Omega" condition is the same as in those stories. Most likely it's not. But if you actually feel like getting pounded into the mattress by someone, and scented, and if by any chance slick is really slipping out of your ass, please take care of yourself baby. I can't even imagine what you're going through. 

Saying that, as weirdly as it was, makes me want to fly over to you even more. Maybe my desires will win over my responsibilities one day. Maybe. 

Fact of the day: I don't believe that Todoroki Shotou's dick is really as big as every fanfic author says it is. Somehow the "fandom" all agreed that he's fucking hung. I am a fool, but I am also very curious about his size right now. God forbid, what has ao3 done to me, to want to know the genitalia size of my friend.

with burning shame,

absolutely yours as well.

25th November, Friday, 22:15 PM

Dear loverboy,

I'm not good at writing letters in general, and I discovered that love letters are my worst enemy at this moment. I cannot tell you how many times I tried to write this, just to give up, crumble the paper and throw it in the trash can, because nothing I come up with can be as beautiful as yours. Yes, I know I'm just a fool in love by saying that, but I'm honest, my love. But I promised myself that this is the letter you will receive, no more tries. This is my last try at telling you everything I left unsaid in all of our letters. Everything that I hid from you all these years, and everything I tried to run away from. 

Love is scary, at least for me. It is a weird thing to feel yourself falling uncontrollably for someone else, especially when all your life you thought that you and the person you're falling for will never cross paths more than you two need. To feel your heart weeping when they smile at someone else, lose your mind over the small things that they do, say, or even when they slightly look in your direction. Sometimes you don't even realize that you fell for that person till the moment they are gone from your life. Cause you were so used to the fact that you could just reach out and touch them, or just feel their scent after they left a room, but now, you’re just not able to do so and it feels like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and thrown on the ground. 

After I lost you, I realized what a bleeding heart means. 

I saw myself alone, in an empty place, and I couldn't stop myself from crying. It was heartbreaking not to be able to share those moments with you. Heartbreaking to walk into the class and not see you there, hear your laugh, and most importantly, not be able to fight next to your side. I tried with every cell in my body to push all of that aside. To forget my feelings for you, to forget you but I don't think I ever was able to do it. Yes, my mind indulged itself in distractions, kept itself occupied, trying to fill the immense hole in my chest that your moving left in me, but in the darkest times of the night, it would run back to the memories of you. The things that I always kept secret. Things too important for myself to share it with this cruel world. Cause you, for me at least, were something holy. 

And exactly as you said, friendship, or at least not being hostile towards each other, was better than nothing. When I gathered to courage to write you for the first time, I swore to myself that I would make this work, that I would give everything I have to bring back that ray of sunshine in my life. It was a selfish thing in a way because I didn't do it just for you, I didn't offer you my apology just because I thought it was the right thing to do. I did it because I need it. I needed you to forgive me, I needed you . I needed you back in my life so back that when you finally wrote me back, saying that you had forgiven me long ago, I cried for the first time in a while. The hole in my chest started slowly to fill back, every letter with your name on it, started to make me whole again, and once your flirty confession was in front of me, I knew. I couldn't hold back anymore. I couldn't pretend that I don't see the hidden meaning in your words and I knew that all my scribbled words were not supposed to be left unsaid anymore. 

You had my heart long ago, Izuku Midoriya, because, to me, you're all I am. Because of you, I am the man that carries the name of ‘Number 1 hero of Japan’, because of your pretty written words, I'm finally proud to be Katuski Bakugou. Because of you, Izuku, I'm not afraid of falling for someone. Falling for you. 

I learn how to breathe again, without choking and cursing my lungs, when I first received your letter, so now, for me, it's just learning to be alive once again. That's what all of this means to me. 

It is beautiful and scary and painful at the same time, but I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in this world. There's only one of you on this planet, and I have the privilege of being the one to call you mine. I couldn't ask for more.

Nevertheless, you know how I feel about you now, so that's that. We need to move to something else or imma lose my mind. I don't think I went this long in my life without cursing. 

First, your scent. Oh God, how do I even begin? There are multiple layers in your scent. The first one, which is the most prominent is something that's in between the smell of green grass and the smell of the forest after the rain. It's calming, fresh and familiar. It has that small note of rain that just makes everything better, clean your insides, and just puts a smile on your face so no reason is needed.

The second layer is like an oriental one. A dash of sandalwood mixed with musk. It's soft and so lovely, especially because I am a musk-scented things lover.  And the last layer in your scent is just a note of rose. Like the white ones, freshly brought from the garden and fully bloomed. But for some weird reason, I think it's like smelling them in the middle of the night. I really don't know why but that's just what your scent is giving me. 

  Yeah, the fanfictions are fucking wild. The most hilarious one I saw what me and fucking burn meat. The whole plot of that bitch was me joining the fucking League after being kidnapped and realizing that the heroes are fucked up. Then fucking Dabi got me under his wing, some shit happened, I don't really remember what, and after a small traumatic experience I ended up falling in love with the bastard. It's fucking ridiculous. Where the fuck they find these fucking stupid ideas? 

And I don't even wanna start talking about the fucking fics with me and Shouto. Just, fucking no. They are really outta fucking pocket. Sometimes I fucking wonder if I have cameras hidden in my apartment because, how the fucking fuck do they get some things to a fucking T. Like just how? It's really a pity there are no good ones about us, I would love to read one.

You know, sometimes you’re such a dumbass. Why would you do that to yourself? See, I was a smart one when I threw my phone to the wall after reading the first paragraph of a fic with you and another pro hero from the US. I am not putting myself in a situation where imma be jealous of a character in a fucking fic. No no.

I'm not gonna talk about the whole omega thing now that it's gone. It is in the past and it's gonna remain there for the rest of my life. A memory that I don't wanna remember. Fuck that shit. It was horrible. 

Now, this is gonna be weird once again, but I can confirm that the half and half fucking bastard is really entitled in that area. Don't ask how I know. Let's just leave it like that. I lived with him too long to not know that. And stop being jealous of fucking Shouto, this man already has too much shit going on. He doesn't need your jealous ass just because you read how he fucked me in a piece of fiction written by someone that doesn't even know us. I also can confirm that his pubic hair is split in two colors, which is,,, funny in a weird way. Im going into too many details and I don't like it. Why are we even talking about my best friend’s dick? Is this who we are now, Izu? Simps for Shouto’s dick? I mean good dick, but still. 

With all that aside, imma end my letter here. Please let that desire win over your responsibilities and get your ass here so I can show you what desire actually means. 

Here’s my fact of the day for you, my dear. I started composing again. I haven't done this in a while. I thought it was gonna be easy to write something since all I'm doing is writing things to you, but life’s kind of a bitch so it is taking me longer than I expected, but I'm getting there. Maybe one day I will show it to you. Because it's for you.

With my heart on the sleeve for you,

Your one and only

12th January, Thursday, 10:07 AM

Dear Can't Believe you Make Me Blush This Much,

I admit that it was rather easy when we were little. I was the most awkward person out there. Not the hardest thing, to make me blush then. But it was been a while since someone my face burn so viscerally, these days. Flattery built resistance for me, and believe me there was enough to last for a lifetime when I first arrived in America, and so after that. I'm not that surprised right now, though. You're the one at the end of it. 

I won't even talk about the tears you make me shed almost every time. I almost want to say fuck you, but I love it too much. 

You going on all about the way you felt all these years makes me want to scream to the fucking world, Kacchan. Because it's so unbelievable, so fucking unbelievable that you, Bakugou Katsuki, were so affected by me. Me . And we've had a lot going on in our lives, together, but I still find myself not able to wrap my mind around the fact that you love me, sometimes. Still can't believe that after a childhood soaked in misunderstandings, where we both dealt damage to each other, intentionally and unintentionally, where we both didn't even know how the other feels, we just expressed it so wrongly, now we're sitting here, in this present, and I'm allowed to write you the sappiest shit to ever fucking exist, and you accept my words without a doubt in your heart that they're true, and you're telling me in equal measure about the way I'm the reason you can fall in love.

It's almost too much, for me. I feel short of breath. I feel like I've been given the sky and beyond, like I'm holding stars in the middle of my palms. And maybe I'm not too far-fetched. You always felt like a star in my palm, untouchable and so, so beautiful, because that's what you were at the time. I was around you so much, and yet I couldn't say a word or make a move without overthinking it for hours on end. You were the star I was aiming to have, but never truly capable of finding a way to do so. And now I'm cocky with it, Kacchan. Now I know I can reach you. And not because I'm the Symbol of Peace, not because I know I am power, but because now I know, that for you I was something unreachable as well, and we both are aware just how good we are at doing things when it's a challenge for each other. 

So yea, maybe I, too, spent too much time thinking the what ifs and what could have been if I didn't leave Japan so early, but you know what? I'm almost too fucking sure it would have gone in this direction, even if differently. Because we orbit too much around each other, like life knows. We need it. You need me, but I need you. And not in the way that we cannot live for each other, because we proved we can, for years, even though the yearning never left. Never could. But I know that if I remained in Japan, if we grew up around each other even more, there would have been a time when it wouldn't have been enough, what we would have. A time where maybe I, or you, would break the barrier of hurt and misunderstanding and skepticism and we would have ended up forming a stronger bond. And perhaps it wouldn't have been romantic (though I doubt it, ok? I'm just this sure I could've charmed your pants either way.), but friendship for sure. 

Sometimes I yearn for that, for the what-ifs. I don't know if I told you this before. I think I did, but it's such a recurring thought that it also comes back in letters, I guess. I'm not upset about it. I would tell you a hundred times every little thing that crossed my mind - how I wished I would have been able to be close to you, instead of this distance. It's often not enough. I'm not able to see your every expression, have your eyes fixed on me. I know you watch me, whenever you can on the news or other articles, but it's not enough. In another timeline, we would have gone through all this, facing each other, and that alone for me, Katsuki, would have made an entirely different life swarm around my chest. I wouldn't trade these letters for anything in the world except you. You're the only thing better. The only thing I would accept in a heartbeat, without a fucking thought. 

Alright, now I'm laughing a little bit. Sappy as fuck, yet again, eh? If any of my exes would be able to read all these, they surely would be so fucking upset. God. They never received so many sweet words from me, and we were properly in a relationship. To be honest, I don't know if we are in one yet, but that's not gonna stop me from letting it all out. I guess it depends on the feelings. I felt for them, but never to the capacity in which you always make me feel. Feeling proud of the mess I am for you yet, Kacchan? God, I'm in the mood to fucking cuddle you for hours right now, just thinking of the grin you'll have reading this. 

And that's not the last thing I want to do right now. I want to sit around on the couch with you and do paperwork together, because doing it alone or with a friend is not the same. I want to help you cook even though I know you don't need it, I want to be able to leave soft kisses on your neck every time I pass by you, and then kiss those pouty lips of yours as well. 

Ok, I'm going down the rabbit hole and it's not good, not when I'm miles fucking away and I have to get to a patrol in like, fifteen minutes. Thanks, darling, now I'll need to explain why I'm so spacy to everyone who asks. I could just say that I'm head over heels, but that will just make the news explode with speculations and I'm sure we're both not ready to read thousands of articles about different other people being my potential significant other when you're sitting in Japan, so pretty and just, mine.

This makes me wonder how will people react, knowing that the Number 1 Pro Hero of Japan has the Symbol Of Peace so in love with him, it hurts. (maybe then more people will write fics about us. I don't know why I want it so bad, but I do. it's stupid. it's amusing me.)

That said, and being done with me rambling about how much I love your ass (never, I will never be done), I can't believe you really read a whole fic about you and Dabi just going at it. And you talk about me reading dumb ones? People really said, a hot villain and a hot Pro Hero, push them together and make them kiss. 

(The omega thing really that upsetting? I mean, I can see why, but you saying this just makes me more curious, Kacchan. No worries, though, you really don't have to say anything about it. I'm just glad you indulged me about my scent.) 

Which, I can't believe that you said I smell like rain for you, when you despise the fuck out of it. It almost made me cough a lung laughing. I don't know if I should take it like 'even though I hate it, you're the exception' or if I should just be a bit worried that I smell like something that annoys you. Please enlighten me, love. 

On another topic. I'm ready to admit that I would have scratched the shit out of you saying that we're simps for Todoroki's dick, if it wasn't so ironic and funny. I feel like we've talked more about dicks in these letters than we've touched in our lives, Kacchan. What does that say about us? We just love talking about dicks and pubic hair, eh? This is so fucking ridiculous, oh God. I can't believe I really wrote that just now. I pray no one ever finds these letters. Let the dicks and pubic hair be lost in the void, along with every other stupidity we ever said. (Please never tell me that Todoroki has a good dick. Ever again. That shit stuck with me for too many days.) 

Can't believe you're temping my ass right now, Kacchan. Don't pull the desire card when you know I'm whipped for you. Not fair, baby. 

A fact of the day that will intertwine with yours: I don't know if I ever told you, but I've learned to play the piano a few years ago. It's the only thing that alleviates my feelings for you when they're too much. And now, hearing that you started to compose again makes me just remember that a few months back I was invited to play and sing at a particular charity, and I chose Golden Hour, and I think you can find a video on youtube, or hundreds of articles about how I replaced all the she in the song with he, because all I could think while singing it was you. So, yea. I wonder if my fingers will tremble when I'll finally be able to play only for you. 

Ending this here, because I feel another rant about how much I miss you and love you coming, 

for my angel of light,

Izuku Midoriya.

18th February, Saturday, 22:22 PM

And when i thought you couldn't get more sappier,

How can you call me "angel of light" when you, yourself are the human form of sunshine? Don't you think it's unjust? However, we'll get to that later.

I miss seeing you all flustered, miss the way your ears were burning bright red at their tips and how you used to hide your face behind your hands, and how your freckles were standing out on that lovely shade of red. Oh, good old memories. And yet, here you are, blushing the same way as you did when we were kids, telling me that you shed tears because of me.

Do you understand what that does to me? Any idea in that pretty curly head of yours, what that information does to me? Or do you do this intentionally, to drive me insane? (say it, Izuku, say it, and also show me how much you love it. Prove it to me, fucker)

I will agree, that you, my love, were everything and even more, when we were kids. It's funny how you considered me untouchable, so far out of reach, when all I wanted all these years was to stand equal to you, next to you, in front of you. All I wanted since our UA days, was to be able to hold your hand and say fuck it to all. You always had me in a chokehold, and I'm not even mad about it. There were nights when I was in my dorm, wondering why do we have to be like that, so aggressive towards each other, so power-driven, so stubborn. I never found an answer at that time, and then you left, and the case was closed, it went cold. 

But now, oh god, now I don't even know what to do anymore, what to believe when you're the one I call mine. When you call me yours and it might be sappy but fuck it, I can say that you’re Godsent. 

The what-ifs are not important anymore. What's important now is ‘when’. When imma see you again, when imma be able to hold you in my arms, when imma be next to you, holding your face in my palms and see your eyes that I love so much. The day that all of this is going to happen, I will be at peace if it's to die the next day, because I had you. 

I never feared death, but now I do. Because I don't wanna go before I get to experience all of you again. So you my dear can be as sappy as you want, because I will always outdo you on this. I have years of yearning and love for you. Puls so many things that I wanna tell you but imma wait till you're in front of me. 

So please don't bring any of your fucking exes into our conversation. Let them read all of this, let the fuckers be jealous. I don't give a shit if they will be upset or not, I can take them all. I' m yours and they are not so yes, I'm proud, so proud that I can feel my chest puff out like one of those stupid fucking birds. So fucking proud of it. 

Oh for the love of god, you cannot put all of that in my head and then say “imma stop here 'cause it is not good”. This is torture, why are you doing this to me? When you already know how much I want to kiss your stupid face and take you out to fucking fancy places so people can stare at us and know that they can never have you or me because we belong to each other. When all I wanna do is watch you spend time with bubbles and hear your stupid lovely giggles in my apartment. I need to make a mental note to kick Shouto out the moment you step foot into this house. That motherfucker is not allowed to see all of that. Nope. That's mine to treasure and see. 

It's so funny how in love we are. God, if the news gets a smell of this we will never hear the end of it. Imagine the headlines. We will break the internet if you thought your dick trending on Twitter was crazy, wait till they find about us. That's gonna be true craziness. 

Now, nooow, let's not get into why I read the whole fucking thing. The thing was too stupid to not read it and did you just call Dabi hot? Ohhh, Shouto gonna hear about this. You just gave him more trauma than the poor guy already has. It's gonna be so amusing to see his reaction. Thank you for the free entertainment. 

And can you please stop reminding me about the dark events? Yes, I hate rain because I need to be locked up inside and unable to do anything, but the scent of it is rather pleasant. And yours it's not just any rain scent, I don't know how to describe it but let's leave it at that. Love you and your stupid rain scent. Happy?

I can agree that our letters are chaotic and I swear, our careers will end in the blink of an eye if anyone found about these, but I still love them. Dicks or not, they are special to me. Every stupid topic that was brought into them has a special place in my heart; because of them I got to have you again. Through sex talk and embarrassing stories about moaning the wrongs manes and tails wrapped around private parts, we got to where we are now. Aint that soooo lovely? (please notice the sarcasm there)

(stuck with you? Then imma say it again. He has a nice dick. ;) 10 outta 10 )

You playing the piano melts my heart, imma want a live performance when you gonna get here, I will personally buy you a piano so you can play it whenever you want. Mornings, evenings, doesn't matter. I already know that my neighbors gonna hate us but I don't give a fuck.

There's a thing I noticed lately, since I told you about my feelings, my letters have become,,, sloppy, in a way, while yours are just as better, if not even prettier, than before. I need to upgrade my game, and for that, I have a surprise for you. 

I hope you will like it, since I went through a lot of explaining to get it for you.

Today I will give you no fact of that day. My gift for you will have more than enough shit that you're gonna find more precious than a mere fact. 

For the boy that has my whole heart,

Kats.

9th February, Thursday, 11:38 AM

Dear mister Izuku, 

This is Eri. I guess you didn't expect this letter since Uncle Bakugou wants this to be a surprise. He was happy with himself when he came up with the idea and I can tell you that I have never seen him so happy before. I don't know what you did to him, but thank you. 

I actually have a lot of things to thank you for, from the day you saved me 'till now, because, even if you're not here, physically present in my life, you're still a big influence in my life. To be honest with you, mister Izuku, Im still a bit awkward with my words, so I find this a bit hard, but I will do my best to write to you, because I always wanted to do it, but I never had the courage.

When uncle Bagkugou told me, last year, that he was in contact with you, I was happy. This is going to sound a bit selfish, but I know that I finally had a way to contact you, and maybe even see you again. Because you're my hero, and that will never change. 

Also please don't tell dad this, he will be sad knowing that you're higher on my hero rank than him. 

I cannot lie, I was sad when you moved, for a while, I thought that you abandoned me, but uncle Bakugou was always there to remind me that you didn't. He used to tell me how you went to a bigger country to get stronger so you could protect us better. Now that I think about it, they were just comfort words, but at that time, I truly believed them. For a few years, he would bring home small trinkets, and pictures of you saying that you send them for me. He did that for my birthday and Christmas, and I would always hug him telling how much I love him for those small things. I cannot even comprehend the pain he must use to feel back then, being the one to lose his friend yet, he needed to take care of the others. 

I still have them, they gave me the power to be how I am today. A future hero. So yeah, I can’t thank you enough for that. 

So now, after all these years, I wanna say this. Thank you, Izuku Midoriya, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for saving me, when you yourself were a child, thank you for reminding me that my powers can be used for greater things, and finally, thank you for still fighting for all of us. I wrote hundreds of essays on you, on how powerful you are, and how amazing of a here you become, and yet, I still don't have words now to thank you for all the things you did for me and my family.

And thank you again, for making Bakugou happy again. 

I know you will say that I don't need to thank you for all of this since it was your duty and that you going to say that you did nothing worth it to receive such words, but I just wanted to say it. To thank you. Oh God, I think I repeated myself so much, this is embarrassing. It is been more than a decade, and I still can't keep my composure when I think about you.

Let me change the subject so I can stop embarrassing myself. I guess you wanna hear more about Uncle Bakugou and how he's now. Well, you will be surprised, mister Izuku, he's even more handsome than he's on TV. I lost count of how many times I had to tell my friends and classmates to stop drooling over him, can you believe that?

They see him all aggressive and professional on TV and that's it. They faint at the slightest move from him. If people can't handle that, they going to die on stop if they ever see him with Bubbles. Oh, I guess you also know who Bubbles is since Uncle Baku can't shut up about her. She's a sweetheart so I get him.

He's also more gentle than he lets people see him, when I was small and dad was busy with work, he used to pick me up from school, take me to this small ice cream place and braid my hair every time he got the opportunity. It was so cute seeing him struggling with the little bow hair ties and the butterfly clips. Even now, he still brings me gifts when he's away for a mission, and he sends me pictures of the stray animals he finds when he's patrolling. Aint that so adorable, Mister Izuku? 

And now, when he comes over to see dad, all he talks about ( besides work ugh this man is a workaholic I'm telling you)  is you. You and your cute face and the way you’re gushing over your assistant and her nails and what if she got Deku-inspired nails, he can do better than some nails ( his words, not mine, I think her having nail art inspired by you is more than adorable, I'm going to try that as well). I love seeing him getting mad at dad and Shouto, because they tease him a lot and he turns a shade darker than his eyes and it's funny. Dad once threatened to throw him out if he blows up our kitchen again. He did that when I was 12 and a mouse jumped on him when he opened one of the cupboards, I found it funny, but dad didn't. 

Oh, this is a secret between us, since I know uncle Baku isn’t gonna read this letter (i warned him to not do it), but I have a picture of him with pink hair. Shouto sent it to me a while ago. He looks so,,, weird and funny at the same time. I'm going to send it to you on one of your social medias so please check your messages. 

I could rant about him for so long, but my time is limited since I'm writing this on my break and I wanted to give it to him as soon as possible. So I'm gonna end my letter here. 

Please visit us when you have time, dad would love to have you over and tell you how proud of you he is. All the students from class A are the reason he is proud of being a teacher. And I bet that uncle Baku would be on the ninth cloud if you choose to visit. Think about that.

Thank you once again, and I promise this is the last time I'm going to say this. 

I miss you, Mister Izuku. 

With admiration and love,

Eri. <3

Chapter Text

26th February, Sunday, 12:15 PM

Dear Eri,

This is hard, I will admit. Harder than any villain who gave me difficulties, than reconnecting with Kacchan. I didn't expect this at all, and it took me a few days to properly compute it at all.  I can't help but feel bouts of guilt ever since I opened your letter and realized who also wrote to me. For the first time in a while, something knotted inside my chest and didn't let me breathe correctly for more than a few moments. Because it's you, Eri, and every once in a while, when I think about home and the people I left there, you are also in my mind. I have a perpetual wish to have told my past self that I should have kept more contact with certain people, and you are one of them. But I didn't do it, and that is a regret I'm willing to live with, to feel constantly, because it's better than feeling nothing over the matter. 

I wouldn't have blamed you if you were to forget about me completely. Or to feel contempt over the fact that I disappeared and didn't send a mere word to say, hey, even if I'm in another country entirely, I still am in your life. You aren't a simple girl that I saved, you entered all our lives and made a place for yourself, and there I went and made your place in my life gain dust over time. Apologizing would be less than you deserve, and I know that for a fact, but I'm still going to say that I'm sorry for the time being, because I can't begin to think what I should to do repent about it. Even if you're not angry at me anymore, even if you still admire me so dearly (which, like the weak person I am, made me so damn happy.), I will continue to say sorry, and think of other ways to make it up to you. 

(And after more consideration of a whole day passing, I think the first step towards making it all better would be this: xxx-xxx-xxx Call me, Eri. Send texts, memes, everything your heart desires, and I promise I will respond to any text in kind, because I wasn't lying when I said I want you in my life. For real, for real. And here's to hoping this letters gets to you and not in some stranger's hands, who now has my number. Haha.)

You're writing essays about me? Oh, God, can't even imagine that properly, I swear. Just gonna go ahead and say that my whole face is red. When I first became a Pro Hero, it never went through my mind that essays were going to be made about me. Now I also regret that I wasn't there to help you with them, if I even could have - with how sheepish I am even hearing about it, I would have been in your way, just constantly saying "I'm not that great, I'm not that flourished-" and so on to any compliment you would've put in there. 

(Never thank me for making Kacchan happy. That's just how it should be. But I'm going to stop here because I go on a simp ramble. I bet you are so amused about all of this. Don't tell your 'uncle bakugo' all this, please.)

You telling me about how involved Kacchan is in your life makes me think with amusement about the time the entire class used to try and hide you from him, because we never knew how he was with kids. He was certainly abrasive back then (and maybe he still is, but there's a new nuance to all that, isn't there? i don't need to be face to face with him to know it.) Of course he ends up being dear to your heart (he always ends up doing that, eh? making us all endeared.) But I also am not surprised. Not for all the little gestures he did for you. He's always had a way with minute details and gestures. Always. A man so careful about everything, a stickler to routines and an intricate lifestyle, of course he goes on and does such gestures for the ones he cares about, and I'm sure he cares about you a whole lot, Eri. That, as well, makes me too damn happy. You two having such a bond. Reading about what you guys do together (which i could read for forever. do you have any pics with the braids he does for you? please tell me you have. i need them like i need air.), the fact that you call him uncle. That is not a trivial thing. 

I'm proud, alright? And maybe I don't have a right to be, with how out of your lives I've been. But I'm still so proud. 

(And yes, please continue to tell your classmates to stop drooling over him. That's a right they don't have. Thank you. ;) )

I hope Aizawa-san is doing well. I contemplated a few minutes if I should add a sensei at the end, but that's... Almost painful, in a way. That's a time that long passed, and now I'm a (kind of) functioning adult with a job, and a life, and years of experience that were and weren't passed down from him. You calling him dad, though, does things to my soul. I remember a time when you couldn't even look him in the eye. How the times change, right? There was also a time when I was standing in front of him, stuttering through my first U.A. days. I haven't stuttered in a long time, yet I so vividly remember doing it to him. He's still an imposing figure that demands respect, in my eyes, and him having adopted you increases it hundredfold. He fits being a dad. (the mental image of Kacchan almost blowing his kitchen out makes me cackle, for many, many reasons. still a problem child, he is. did you know he used to call us that when we were his students? me and kacchan, especially. i bet aizawa-san is fondly exasperated by it, to this day.)

Now with burning shame, I will tell you - I opened your text on Twitter without knowing the account was yours (why is your username bakugostoenail?? please, i would context for it, because it left me floundering for a second) and when I saw the pic you sent, I thought for days it was just a very good edit. And now you go and tell me it's actually real, and??? How am I to go on with this information? I need a tutorial for it. I need someone to give me life advice, because right now I'm really contemplating hunting down a person all over the world who has the power to change hair colors, so I can have Kacchan with pink hair. Make it canon, as they say in fanfics. Oh, a fanfic with pink-haired Kacchan? I feel like I need to get into the Japan Pro Hero fandom, plan how to become popular, and somehow make the headcanon with pink-haired Kacchan popular.

I'm... going on a distracting tangent, god. (Don't tell him about this either, Eri. Please. For my sake.)

I truly wish I could just teleport in Japan whenever I please and I don't have responsibilities that hold me back. Oh, how I fucking wish. (excuse my French, but I bet you hear worse than that from your uncle.) But as things stand, I'm really remorseful to say that I can't leave right now. But be sure, Eri, that if I ever succeed in visiting Japan this year (I'm doing lots of efforts to see when i have more than two days free, for real. my calendar is going through war itself with how much i change it. it's a struggle) don't doubt that I will visit you and Aizawa-san. For however you will receive me, I will be there. That's a vow I'm taking right now, in this letter.

(and for the pleasure you've done to me by making me lose my mind over pink-haired kacchan, have a very rare picture with me having black hair. not much of a difference from my dark green, but it's still something that happened on a whim once. it makes me look even more average, right? i guess i was going through a phase, as many do.)

I also miss you, Eri. Thank you for not giving up on my dumb ass. 

still reeling from the fact that you admire me,

Pro Hero Deku and Midoriya Izuku all in one.

26th February, Sunday, 12:15 PM

Hello, cheeky dandelion,

(Please tell me you are open to dyeing your hair in the future, and yes, this is a totally random question that I'm asking. Nothing more, don't look further into it.)

Just finished responding to Eri's letter that you oh-so sneakily threw in there. First, how dare you? Second, how dare you? Third, also how dare you. First, you make me unable to formulate coherent shit by throwing me so much love that I can't compute the fact that it's from you (do you know those high school girls that daydream about their crushes doing all kind of mushy, romantic stuff for them? that's me right now, only that it's actually reality. like, what the fuck. i almost want us to go back to talking about Todo's The Bachelor obsession and Twitter dicks because I absolutely can't handle this, I realize. I'm the sappy one between us, right? Right? Maybe you were the one all along.) 

So I'm just going to jump the gun, because maybe you've won this sappy competition. It made me restless, for the first time since we've been doing this. Good job. You've won, Kacchan. Here's the prize, after years of letters: xxx-xxx-xxx

Call me, text me, and in real time, let's talk some more.

Let's go up one more level, together. What do you say? I will wait for my phone to buzz this time, and nothing else.

hoping my number reaches you and not some weirdo,

a hopeful, whipped midoriya izuku

It’s weird. So goddamn weird. He’s not used to this. The nine digits were staring back at him, a bit mocking. 

'Fuck. I can't do this'.

He threads his hands through his hair, softly pulling at it.The anxious curses that were occasionally rolling down his tongue were mere whispers, as if mindful of his absolute dumbass of a best friend sleeping a few doors away from where he’s fretting on the couch.

Even after weeks of contemplating, and some good old body pains, he still doesn’t know if he can do it. 

He isn't ready to hear Izuku's voice. To get out of the comfort that the letters were giving him, the normality of separation that they gave him for so many months. Intimate, not really - for it wasn’t so visceral. Because yes, Katsuki feels raw every time he writes his feelings on paper, but that won’t even amount to the vulnerability that he knows he’ll feel with Izuku right in his fucking ear.

But he can't just ignore the fact that the man gave him his number and maybe, maybe he’s actually waiting for Katsuki to call him. Can’t just live with the thought of Izuku being left on a state of literal anticipation, then eventually left dry when Katsuki doesn’t do shit, because he’s a fucking coward right now. Or at least that’s how he feels. 

Like a goddamn coward.

"Since when were you such a fucking pussy?"

Katsuki startles, whipping his head around to stare at the surprising, drowsy figure of Shoto, dressed in low, sleep pants and nothing else. He’s giving Katsuki the most judging look a person half asleep could give, and for a moment, Katsuki thought Shoto looked like his sister. 

"I'm not a fucking pussy,” he grunts, with no venom in his tone. “Why the fuck are you even awake, anyway? Didn’t you say that you were having a migraine?”

"You fussing around like an idiot woke me up and made my headache worse. Just call him, Katsuki. It's not that hard.” Shoto rubs at his face, just like Bubbles does when she cleans herself. “You spent the last half an hour losing your mind and struggling to save his number. That says a lot." 

This prompts him to glance back at the phone, the same nine digits still staring back at him. Shouto is kind of right , at this point he’s losing it over something as simple as a phone call.

Only, it’s not really that simple, is it?

Katsuki takes a few breaths, pacing for a while between the kitchen and living room. Then, he ends up pouring himself a glass of tea just as Shoto goes back to his room with a glass of warm milk. With Bubbles now in his clutches, he eventually ends up back on the couch. The mental breakdown is still there, but with his cat purring against his chest, he feels like it’s more bearable.

Bearable enough to pick up the phone again, and thumb at the call icon with a bit more bravery than before. It takes a few minutes, a few more curses, but he clicks it. He fucking does it.

The phone starts ringing, and so do Katsuki’s ears. Out of anticipation, jitters, and everything combined. He can feel his chest tightening, with every beep, and the sensation of his ribs closing around his heart, making it hard to breathe was nearly urging him to end the call, and throw his phone on the other side of the room. 

Yet, he can't. He came too far to just let his anxiety eat him away. He needs to just wait.

And, oh boy, the waiting did not disappoint. The phone call clicked in place, crackling on Izuku’s line. 

"If you're calling to say you're in danger and then I find you home, naked trying to seduce me, I will punch you.” He hears the blunt mutter, throaty from the disuse, and utterly annoyed. "So you better think twice about what you're about to say."

Katsuki feels slapped in the face with pure shock. Absolutely flabbergasted.

The words thrown at him, one dagger after another, imbued with poison than didn’t seem to be meant for him, still caught him off-guard. And if those words weren't enough, the voice that was murmuring in his ear sure was. Raspy, like Izuku just woke up, which he probably did. A pleasant baritone.

He’s heard  Izuku’s voice multiple times in interviews and commercials and other stuff, but this ? This was fucking different. 

Katuski opens his mouth a few times, brain running a mile per second, trying to come up with an answer, but nothing actually useful is coming to mind. Nothing, not even a proper goddamn hello feels like it will suffice, not with how ridiculously agitated the butterflies in his stomach are.  

So he did what an usual idiot, with a half of a dead braincell, would do.

Be sarcastic.

"I mean, I'm down if you're also down to fly your ass back to Tokyo just to do that. I bet I could seduce you, though,” he says dryly, trying to hide his nervousness. 

He hopes it worked, even a bit.

The silence that follows makes him all the more agitated, though, and he thinks for a second that maybe he fucked up, somehow. Perhaps he said the wrong thing, or something. He doesn’t remember Izuku to be so silent, even if he is sleepy. But who knows now, right? This is not the boy that left so many years ago. This is unknown territory, in a way. Nothing that the letters would have prepared him for. 

The soft mumble that bursts him out of his stupid overthinking is very much not angry. "Do you know the time here in America, Kacchan?"

A smile almost curves Katsuki’s lips. It does, after a moment. His heart, however, fights between thundering and settling steady in fondness at the hint of grumbling he spots in Izuku’s unchanged gentleness.

Bubbles jumps out of his lap, attracted by something by the window, and the blond makes an unsatisfied noise at the missing heat and weight, for which Izuku responds with a similar sound, just a bit more bemused. Urging, in some manner. 

Katsuki scratches the back of his head, huffing. Numbers don’t seem to be with him, though. Math don’t be mathing, like Denki loves to say in the most inappropriate moments. 

"Evening?" He mumbles after a second, lips pushed in a small pout. "Shit, maybe even later. I'm sorry, I didn't think before calling you. I just-," he takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes. He wants to bend in on himself, hide from the embarrassment of disturbing his crush at ass o’clock on a whim. "I just called you."

To talk to you.

"I'm sorry if I woke you, Izu" he adds soon after, a mumbled whisper, and a frown stichting between his eyebrows.

There’s some hurried shuffling on the other end, as if Izuku just slid of the bed, steps thrundering right after. 

"I'm not angry," Izuku says, sounding like he’s trying to match the softness of Katsuki’s sudden shame. It's tentative at best. He clears his throat, but the huskiness doesn't go away. Izuku sighs. "Really, Kacchan. Don't feel bad. I'm glad to hear from you, I was just surprised. Was actually wondering if you'd ever call."

Kacchan. The way that nickname rolled down his tongue, the way it sounded. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

A small state of panic overtook Katsuki, eyes drifting towards the hallway, as if searching for his probably slumbering best friend. Good fuck, if just this makes him require assistance from outside, a mere fucking nickname, he’s not sure how he’s going to survive more. Especially with how their last letters have been. Dripping sweetness at their core. 

He just hopes Izuku doesn’t go about whipping out fucking petnames all of sudden. Katsuki would probably combust whole. 

After a second of just breathing, he settles on a small mhm sound as he nuzzles at his own wrist, a habit he picked up from Kirishima when he wants to calm the fuck down.

"Well, Japanese post isn’t the best right now, so it took longer for your letter to reach me, and I’ve been stuck at work for a while.” he explains, his free hand fishing into his pockets for the metal lighter, something to play with. Soft clicks begin to fill the room. "You can go back to sleep if you want to. I bet that you're fucking tired as shit. I–I can call later or just, text you beforehand."

Izuku exhales a chuckle, before humming a soft negation. "I won't able to go back to sleep now. Especially since it's the first time I get to talk to you directly, without all the fussing over the words I'd write to you otherwise."

"That's why I like the letters. I can think about what to say to you and change my words if I feel like it's too awkward or shit like that." Katsuki admits in the stuffy air of his silent living room.

Izuku takes a few loud breaths, as if he is, too, trying to calm his nerves. At least Katsuki hopes so. "How are you, Kacchan? How was your day?"

The blonde stands up, picking the cigarette pack from the counter. He walks towards the balcony, fingers shaking around the phone. Once the air hits his face, fresh and unforgiving with its cold, he starts to feel like a human again, and not just a pile of flustered goo.

Pulling a cigarette out, and lighting it with quick moves, he leans back on the brick wall.

"It's barely 10 a.m. here, so my day just started since it's one of the rare free days. I’m just waiting for Shoto to get over his man period so we can make something to eat" He twirls the smoke between his fingers, ashy clouds leaving his mouth with each word he mutters. "What about you? Any buildings destroyed today?"

"Some of your food sounds amazing, even in the middle of the night," Izuku says with a merry huff. "No building. Nothing, actually. It was as if yesterday was a free day for villains, at least in my part of town. You chose the wrong night to call if you wanted to hear some craziness from me, Kacchan."

The breeze is messing with his hair, but Katsuki is so mesmerized by the voice coming from his phone that he doesn’t pay enough attention to the small details happening around him. 

"You salivating over my food reminds me about the days when we were staying at the U.A. dorms. I couldn't trust any of you near a stove or with a knife." Giggles. That's what came from the blond. Small giggles muffled behind freezing fingers. God, is this really happening?

But these are good memories. Even if he never actually said it, he enjoyed when his former classmates were gulping down his food, spitting prayers about how good it was. He liked it. A lot. And he still does. Though, he wishes a certain green-haired dumbass was still among them, trying to get free meals out of him just like the others.

Still, this was somehow peaceful as well. Talking on the phone as he watches over the city, reminiscing about the good days of their shared past. As the situation settles even more, the clarity of the moment, he’s starting to feel comfort in this decision that he finally took. 

"I like this." He admits quietly, a small smile curving his lips.

"It's different," Izuku answers. His voice has also taken a more demure quality, almost as if fearful whatever it is that’s forming between them. A special, rare thing that Izuku woundn't want to disturb for the world. "Letters were nice. Very nice. But... Having you in my ear is something else. I'm... selfish enough to say that I craved it for a while."

He doesn’t know what to respond to that, other than being conscious that his heart is beating louder than the honks of the few cars going around at this hour, the city noises, and for a second - he just gapes at the sky, trying to gather those goddamn wits that he knows he has, just to say something.

A mew resounds behind him, and Katsuki feels all his muscles locking up for a hot second before he exhales loudly. He looks over his shoulder at Bubbles, feeling a slight curl overtaking his mouth. 

“Is that-” Something shuffles on the other end again, and Izuku’s voice comes out with a childlike hush quality of wonder. “Is it Bubbles?”

He lets out an airy chuckle at that. “Yea. She's swinging her tail at me. Curious, as always. Probably sees how fucking nervous you make me act.”

Izuku’s huff is as surprised as it is entertained. “Me? Making you nervous? I think it’s the other way around, more like.”

“You don’t sound like it,” Katsuki says. And it’s true, all Izuku had to show him had been smoothness with a little bit of sleepy hiccups in between. No stutters, no nothing of what he believes he would have done in the past, when he was genuinely nervous. 

“You don’t either,” Izuku murmurs right back,  but the smile echoes in his words. “I guess we’re just that good at hiding it, hm?”

“Then… How about we make this less nervous-worthy?” Katsuki puts out his cigarette, exhaling the last of the smoke. Izuku’s intrigued sound is throaty, it makes his skin tingle pleasantly. “Tell me something crazy. Or stupid. Something completely fucking bonkers.”

A breath is let loose, before he hears the tentative, “Alright, so, I was a phone sex worker for about twelve entire hours, once.”

“What?” Katsuki chokes out, and he doesn’t know if it’s absolute, in-the-moment outrage, or if it’s undiluted amusement. “Wait, run that by me again.”

“Phone sex operator,” Izuku repeats, and the deadpan in his voice is not as authentic as he perhaps tried to make it. Not with the muffled mirth behind it. “For twelve hours. It was… Something else. Your turn.”

“Wait, fuck no. You can’t do that,” Katsuki lets out a rough laugh, as if punched out of him. He threads a hand through his blond strands. “You can’t just casually say that you’ve worked in that kind of business and then just move on.”

“You judging me?” There’s some sort of wryness in those words, and Katsuki swallows as he imagines Izuku lifting an eyebrow at him.

“Not at all.” He already yearns for a cig, just to chew on the end of something, but he wisely refrains. “I respect every line of work, but I’m just trying to understand how a very stable Pro Hero like you got to be one, even if it was for such a short period of time.”

The groan that Izuku lets out is choked out by the humor in his tone. “Fuck, alright- So, this friend of mine left his phone at my house. Forgot it, more like. And went out of town. Didn’t think much of it, you know? He will come and get it in a few days, I told myself. And then, the next day I receive this desperate phone call from him, asking me to substitute for him because he will get fired if he doesn’t work in that day. Something about putting things off for too long, or I don’t know. I’m not very versed in this field. So, I accepted-”

“Slow down, slow down,” Katsuki guffaws, still not believing what he’s hearing. “You just said yes? Just like that? When it comes to fucking substituting for a phone sex operator?”

“Maybe I didn’t think it through as I should’ve,” comes the sheepish reply, and Katsuki shakes his head, engulfed, all of sudden, by a powerful wave of infatuation. “But honestly I didn’t think it'd be that big of a deal-”

“Because getting people off is never a big deal, hm?”

“When it comes to strangers? Indeed. It was a wild ride. Many kinks I needed to adapt to, because of course I didn’t know if I should pull up my own list of soft and hard stops.”

“Just hope you told them you weren’t your friend.” Katsuki finds himself saying, smile slipping a bit off his face. “If I was one of those strangers, I would have punched the living fuck out of you if you were to trick me like that.”

“No, no. They knew from the start, Kacchan.” Izuku is quick with it, reassuring. “I’m pretty sure that catfishing them like that is illegal, besides the obvious intrusiveness of the act itself - even if I wasn’t a respected Pro Hero, my moral compass wouldn’t have allowed me to do such a thing.”

“That’s… Good.” He thinks for a second, then winces. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to seem like I was accusing you of such vile shit-”

“Don’t worry about that,” Izuku croons. “It’s totally understandable. I would’ve done the same if I was in your shoes, probably.”

“So, like, how did it work? I won’t ask you much, it’s probably a breach of privacy. But about your identity? I don’t think you’ve actually told them your name, right?”

“Of course not. People in this line of work usually choose a nickname. Privacy reasons, and all. I did it as well.”

“And?” Katsuki prompts, feeling a grin at the corner of his mouth.

“And?” Izuku’s amusement is like fine honey. 

“What was it? Or are you ashamed of it?” If Kirishima was here to witness it, Katsuki’s sure that he would have said that he’s the one with the shark smile right now. “Was it something embarrassing as fuck, like Pleasure Master? Greeny Weeny?”

“ Greeny Weeny ?” Izuku’s laugh is like a bark. Loud and sharp. “Oh my God, where were you at that time? You should’ve been there to help me out with it.”

“If I was there, you wouldn’t have done it at all, dumbass,” Katsuki huffs, all in good nature. 

“Oh?” The fine hairs on Katsuki’s nape stand up at that husky sound. “And that is because? Jealousy, darling?” 

“Alright, fuck no,” Katsuki breathes out, recoiling from the balcony railing like it burned him. He already feels too hot, in all honesty. “You can’t do that. Shut up with the petnames before I fucking implode.” 

Izuku snorts with undiluted amusement. “Not yet, I see.”

“No, not yet,” he agrees with a groan. “You gonna tease me for it?”

“Not yet,” Izuku repeats, audibly entertained. Indulgent. Sweet.

Katsuki struggles to get air in his lungs, for a second. “I’m about to ask something stupid.”

“Hm?”

It takes more than a second for him to get to it, but Izuku is blissfully patient. “Did you also get off? Doing it? Getting strangers off on the phone?”

He expects more tantalizing words, perhaps one more charming chuckle. But all he gets is a heavy exhale, resounding a bit trembled at the end. 

“Well,” Izuku starts, it's more raspy than anything he’d ever said. It takes Katsuki by surprise. “The thing about phone sex, Kacchan, you see… Is that it works solely on imagination. And mine can be… pretty realistic.”

“Yea?” Katsuki croaks. 

“Yea,” Izuku exhales. “Especially when I have a stubborn ass occupying my thoughts 24/7. Pretty convenient, don’t you think?”

There’s a lot that can be said about this. About being told that someone jerks off to you. Lots of ways it can go. Katsuki rubs at his red face, trying to ignore the absolutely ridiculous, giddy smile plastered on his face. The uncharted happiness blooming in him.

“Glad to know I helped you get your dick wet when an extra is moaning daddy in your ear,” he snarks. If he does it through his fingers, through his glee, Izuku doesn’t have to know. 

The green-haired man hums, “I’m kind of glad, as well, what can I say. Now, you have to tell me all the renditions of possible porn nicknames that you can think of. Please. I’m willing to write them on a list and hang it on my wall in my bedroom.”

Not for the first time since Izuku entered his life again, Katsuki chokes on a genuine laugh. And for the next hours of his afternoon, that's all he tastes while Izuku's delight seeps through him, wholly.