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English
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Bad Buddy Gift Exchange 2022
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Published:
2022-04-19
Completed:
2022-04-19
Words:
4,266
Chapters:
3/3
Comments:
29
Kudos:
379
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46
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2,627

everything but you, i hush.

Chapter 3: Pran

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pran had perfected the art of self control throughout the years. It had been mostly out of self-preservation.

But ever since they had officially become boyfriends, Pran had felt himself slipping. God knows Pat isn’t making this any easier. Then again, Pran thinks he’s been patient long enough.

It’s why when Pat shows up in the library when Pran’s studying, and occupies the table right opposite to theirs, refusing to stop looking over at Pran, he follows Pat into the farthest section of the library and presses him up against the dusty bookshelf and kisses him until Pat squirms underneath him, making tiny little whimpers as Pran pushes a thigh between his legs.

Pran wonders if Pat feels the same way. If he has any idea of how long Pran waited for this. Had to convince himself that staying away from Pat was the only option because being close but never being allowed to hold was too painful.

He can’t believe he gets to have Pat this way — in every way. When he wakes up in the morning, ruffled up from sleep features even softer, and warmer. Or when Pat wins a game and he runs to Pran, to crush him in a hug, lifting him off of his feet, in front of everyone.

When Pran holds him down, and makes Pat tremble under his touch. The way his voice breaks when he says Pran’s name. Sometimes, he sobs, like it gets torn out of him when Pran takes him into his mouth, or Pran moves inside him. And he begs. It’s driving Pran crazy.

There’s a part of him that wants to sink his claws into Pat, and feel his blood and bone underneath his fingernails.

“I used to think about you like this, all the time,” he tells Pat in a moment of weakness, stroking him firmly and slowly. They’re in Pran’s apartment, and Pat’s got his back pressed up against the door. They hadn’t even made it onto the living room couch.

“Define all the time,” Pat manages to grit out, eyes still squeezed shut.

“All the time, Pat,” Pran tells him, twisting his hand, tightening his fingers around the head of Pat’s dick. “I’ve always wanted this.”

Pran nips at Pat’s collarbones, and soon, Pat comes, deflating against Pran’s body so that he has to hold Pat up against the door.

 

—————

 

Turns out, Pat’s got one hell of a one track mind.

“What did you mean earlier?” he asks, sprawled across Pran’s bed, with his homework spread out in front of him.

 

“I say a lot of things, Pat,” Pran reminds him.

“The other day. You know, when we were—” Pat makes a crude gesture with his hands. “You said you’ve always thought of me.”

Oh.

That had just been something Pran had said in the heat of the moment. Pran feels a flush creep up behind his neck.

“So you’ve liked me for longer than we’ve been in college?” Pat shoots up into a seated position like a dog with a bone.

Pran would rather die than admit it when Pat looks so smug, so he doesn’t tell him about being fourteen and falling deeper in love watching Pat fall asleep during class, or watching him dance on top of a table in the most ridiculous way, or the box full of memories he keeps in a corner of his bedroom cupboard — the photos, the make-shift guitar pick and Pat’s handkerchief he had wrapped around Pran’s bloody knee on their highschool football field. Maybe — one day, he would tell Pat.

 

—————

 

Pat climbs in through his window the night before Pran’s flight. There’s a dull ache in Pran’s chest at the knowledge that they won’t be able to do that anymore. It’s one of the many things that settles heavily in him.

Pat burrows his face into the crook of Pran’s neck, peppering him with kisses and unashamedly, and loudly inhaling Pran’s scent as Pran checks his luggage one last time. He’s got everything with him.

Well, almost everything.

He drops a soft kiss on Pat’s lips before untangling himself from Pat’s arms. He walks over to the cupboard in the corner to pull out the old, and dusty shoebox in the corner.

The box feels impossibly heavy in his hands. A part of him wants to wait for Pat to leave so he can stuff it in his luggage and take to Singapore. It’s become an extension of him over the years, and the thought of parting with it gives him mixed emotions. But that’s all the more reason for him to leave it behind. Because Pat’s big doe eyes have been dewy and sorrowful all week.

Sometimes, Pat had let tiny little insecurities slip like: ‘what if you find someone smarter and better than me?’ and then he would laugh, because it was meant to be funny, except the laughter never reached his eyes. He was trying to be strong for Pran, but of course Pran had noticed. He’s got almost a decade worth of practice cataloguing every single detail about Pat.

So, Pran knows that his boyfriend needs this more than he does. Because now more than ever Pat needs to know the full weight of Pran’s devotion to him.

Pran sets the box down on a surprised Pat’s lap like an offering, as if to say: ‘this is everything about us that I held onto, even when I didn’t have a right to.’

And Pran hopes that Pat will understand that now, after they’ve defeated all odds stacked against them, and made it on the other side together — intact, and their lives intertwined, there’s no way Pran’s letting go of him.

“Keep it safe for me, will you? Until I come back home,” Pran tells Pat, with a soft smile when Pat looks up at him in awe, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Pat replies by leaning over the box between them and tenderly kissing Pran on the mouth.

Notes:

thank you for reading!

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