Chapter Text
The episode begins and the title of the current episode is shown: Head Noob in Charge.
"What does noob mean?" asked Don curiously.
"Someone like you." pointed out Vergilius.
"Huh?!"
"He's not wrong Don, 'cause noob means inexperience." said Sinclair, making the hero-obsessed girl slumped in despair comically.
Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing next to the tank outside Blue Base.
Church: Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home.
This got the attention of everyone, hearing that Church has a special someone.
Tucker: Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?
Church: No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out... ah, you know how it works.
"Did something happen between them?" asked Hod in concern.
"Hopefully nothing bad." responded Taii.
"It better not be something tragic..." muttered Roland, getting triggered by his wife's death
Tucker: Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?
Caboose: I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
"Ugh, the way he said it, shows how obviously he can't be married." said Ishmael, getting disgusted at how Caboose's father's message is.
Church: Hey, rookie.. did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
Heathcliff, Gregor, Netzach, Finn, and even Roland laugh at that part, only to be silenced by the likes of Rodya, Angela, Tiphereth, and Outis.
Tucker: No, I think he called her a slut!
Church: I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.
"Like what? Stalking the opposite team?" asked Tiphereth.
"Or argue, through the sniper rifle." added Dante.
Caboose: Great.
Church: See, we've got this General.
Tucker: Right, the General guy.
"Who is even their General? I sincerely doubt they even existed." said Outis, getting frustrated with the military of the Reds and Blues.
Church: ...who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by.
Caboose: When is he coming by?
Tucker: We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.
"How do they even tell the time? They should have some built-in clocks in their suits." said YuRia.
"If they don't have a clock, it means a lot of time has passed them for a long time." said Yi-Sang.
"Of course, they're too idiotic to notice it." said Vespa, bluntly.
Caboose: You want me to stand at attention for a week?
Church: You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.
Caboose: What's so important about the flag?
Church: Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?
Caboose: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?
"Why is the flag important anyway?" asked Ezra.
"Well in my soldier days, flags are considered as a symbol and the very pride of a military faction, losing them is considered a huge loss for all." explained Gregor, with Outis agreeing with him.
"However, their flags felt like they're not close to importance." said Moses.
Church: Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.
Tucker: Well... it's... it's complicated. Uh... It's blue, we're blue.
"Nice, explanation why it's important." said Tiphereth in a sarcastic tone.
Church: It's just important, okay? Trust us. So when the General comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag.
Tucker: Right.
Church: So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him.
"He's getting pretty obvious." said Roland.
Rodya sighed, "I almost feel bad for those rookies."
Caboose turns and heads for the base, but stops half way and turns around.
Caboose: Uh, how will I know when I see him?
Tucker: There's only three of us out here, rookie. He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us.
Church: Now get in there, and don't come out! (turns to Tucker) Man, that guy is dumber than you are.
Tucker: You mean he's dumber than you are.
Church: Wow, Tucker, that was a great come-back.
"Says the guy, with a sucky insult." said Ezra.
Caboose emerges from the base with Church and Tucker in the distance.
Caboose: Uh, Mr. Church? Sir?
Church: Oh my god, WHAT!? (turns to Tucker) Tucker, I swear, I'm gonna kill him!
"Church emotional level is now on their limits." analyzed Meursault.
"Yeah we can see that big guy." said Gregor.
Caboose: Sorry about calling your girl a slut...
Church: ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, GET IN THERE!
"Reminds me of how most of the employees in Lobotomy Corporation, have enough of the Abnormalities." said Flower.
"It was a regular thing back in the day." said Ella.
"Or the unfair jobs in the Backstreets." added Roland.
Tucker: (turns around to laugh) Uh-huh huh huh huh!
Church: (turns around to face Tucker's back) Tucker, are you laughing at me?
"Not very threatening, much." said Gebura.
Donut steps up behind Church.
Donut: Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?
"It looks like, the action between the Reds and Blues is gonna start now." said Hong-Lu.
"All they did are just stand around and talk in useless nonsense." said Angela, shaking her head.
Church:Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I.. I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!
Donut: What did I do?
"Poor pastry man, getting treated crap from both teams." said Rodya.
"Shouldn't Tucker, have seen him coming in their base?" asked Hod in confusion.
"He could be somewhere else, occupying their tank or something." guessed Dante.
Church: One...
Donut: Aw, gimme a break.
Church: TWO!
Donut: Fine!
Donut runs in the base and walks up to Caboose.
Caboose: Wow, you got here fast!
"Shouldn't they be fighting since they're in opposite teams?" asked Ishmael.
"They're incompetent rookies and stupid." said Binah.
Donut: Why is everyone so freakin' rude in this canyon?
Caboose: I'm not, sir. What can I do for you?
Donut: Finally, someone with a little respect around here.
Caboose: Yes, sir! I assume you're here because of this... (turns toward the flag)
"This is gonna get messy for all of the teams since Caboose thought Donut is the general while Donut thinks Caboose is the unknown store clerk in the canyon." said Sinclair.
"They're gonna have an earful later on from their supposed 'leaders'." said Taii.
Donut: Wait, is this all you have?
Caboose: Uh, yes, sir. That's it!
Donut: Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about elbow grease?
Caboose: Uhmm...
Donut: Headlight fluid?
Caboose: No. All we have is this flag.
Donut: Well, I can't go back empty handed. I guess I'll take that.
"Better than nothing, I guess." shrugged Netzach, drinking some beer.
"Hey do you have some spare?" asked Gregor.
The green-haired drunk simply gave him another one, much to the cockroach soldier's appreciation.
Caboose: Sure, that makes sense. I guess.
Donut: (leaving with the flag) Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag.
Cut to Church and Tucker.
Church:Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker.
"Aw yeah, time to see the tank in action." smirked Heathcliff.
"But in the hands of some inexperienced soldiers, it will be chaos." said Angela.
"Charon can drive tank better, compared to them similar to how Charon drives Mephi." said Charon.
Tucker: Me? I can't drive that thing.
Church: You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?
Tucker:I ca- I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle. Don't you know how to drive that?
Church: No! ..Holy Crap! Who is running this army!?
"THAT'S WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW?!" thought all of them, especially Outis.
It's like the entire Head department, is run by little kids.
Caboose: (emerging from the base) Hey! Just wanted to let you know the General stopped by and picked up the flag!
Church: (to Caboose) Yeah! Okay! Whatever, moron! (to Tucker) Why would they give us a tank, if nobody here knows how to drive the damn thing? ...Wait a second... What did he just say?
"They're both dead." said Roland.
To be continued...
(A/N): Do you guys want other characters from their world to join in? (Example: Iori, Yun, San, etc...) I might revived some characters and join in the watching as well, but it's a huge maybe.