Chapter Text
< Twenty Eight Days Left.
Gin had friends.
Ryuunosuke was well aware.
Not simply the members of her squad, the Black Lizard, but she hanged around many other mafiosos, albeit without speaking so as not to reveal her voice and in turn, her gender. She was like a magnet to loud and obnoxious people, in any other situation it would actually be laughable to see how quiet she remained with her tablet or a notebook to write her thoughts around one of the most ear-grating people in existence.
…Ryuunosuke wasn’t thinking of someone in particular.
“Yoooo, Big Bro Akutagawa! Why so gloomy?”
…He definitely wasn’t.
The man looked up from the ground, continuing to lean on the wall he had been all this time to stare sharply at the disturbance from his thoughts.
“Tachihara.” He spoke, his tone curt and absolutely dripping with disdain.
The red haired boy almost jumped at the harshness of his words but regained his composure fairly quickly, a grin still plastered on his face. No one looking at him would even think that he was a high ranked mafioso who had just returned from a particularly bloody mission.
Ryuunosuke resisted the urge to cough, he had been trying to seem indifferent to it all because of Gin, after all.
Speaking of Gin, she was currently holding up her notebook, a message scrawled onto it in a hurry that she was shoving in Tachihara’s face;
/“Leave him alone, Tachihara.”\
“Aww man, but he’s always mean to just me! He talks to that old man- Ow-” He hissed mid-indignant speech, glaring at Gin who had just smacked his shoulder with her notebook. “As I was saying,” he continued, rubbing the place he was hit, “He talks to Hirotsu-san with respect and you’re rarely reprimanded! He’s strict with Big sis but I swear he hates me! He doesn’t even use any honorifics for us, how are you not mad?”
Gin hurriedly shoved her notebook at Tachiara’s face again, glancing at Ryuunosuke with a hint of an apology in her eyes.
/”He is older .”\
“I know he’s older, but he’s–”
Tachihara fell silent for a moment, watching as Gin scribbled something onto her notebook.
/”He is right there, you idiot. Why don’t you tell him?”\
“Oh.”
Apparently, he had completely forgotten that their mission that day was accompanied by the Port Mafia’s dog.
Both Black Lizard members turned in unison to look at Ryuunosuke and almost comically, both of their eyes widened at the same time.
He was... smiling.
Not a forced smile that would’ve made his face morph in grotesquely unfamiliar ways, not a smile that was half-hearted, not a smile that felt wrong to do.
He was smiling genuinely, albeit slightly.
After all, he had decided not to get angry at such trivial things like respect. The other two’s exchange, the way their banter and correcting each other was explained away as them hating the other, yet still acting like old friends, it all, frankly, made Ryuunosuke satisfied.
When he’d be gone, Gin would have someone to lean on.
She was already leaning on others, after all, she didn’t truly need her brother anymore.
Good.
He watched as Tachihara spouted nonsense about his tiny showcase of joy being a miracle and, after leaping through a few hoops of logic, decided that Ryuunosuke was in a good mood and would join the Black Lizard at their drinking party after a successful mission.
He watched as Tachihara’s jaw dropped open when the man actually agreed.
Gin cast a glance full of suspicion and confusion towards him but he ignored it, instead following her obnoxious friend over to a sleek black private car.
-->
Ryuunosuke’s lungs burned.
Well, specifically, it felt like every limb in his body had been cut off, dunked into lava, and then glued back together with acid instead of glue.
He shouldn’t have accepted that drinking invitation.
But he had promised to himself, hadn’t he? That he would push through and try not to upset anyone for his last days, perhaps that would enable him to go through less pain towards the end of his life. He always kept promises so he was in no position to refuse.
Yet, was it worth it?
The night had been an enjoyable one, or at least, the man thought that he had fun. He thought himself incapable of such a thing, or well, undeserving.
Watching the others, mostly Tachihara, drink and tell stories to their heart’s content was amusing. The way that the two siblings exchanged glances everytime the drunk red-head referred to Gin as his ‘best buddy’ and then proclaimed that she was his ‘biggest rival’ in the span of five minutes. It was entertaining how, despite the long amount of time that they had worked together, Tachihara still didn’t know that Gin was a girl, nor that she was Ryuunosuke’s sister.
Ryuunosuke didn’t blame him, of course, he held a sense of pride in how well Gin kept herself hidden. After all, it would spawn problems if she was made to use her body for missions or if someone was to put two and two together and use her as his weakness.
He understood, which is why he hoped that once he was gone, Gin would trust him more. Despite the boy’s obvious inner troubles, he seemed to have morals.
He coughed.
Looking down where he knelt on the floor of his room, his forehead creased as he saw specks of bright red blood.
Shoot.
He had made sure that he would not drink anything more than half a cup that day so as not to aggravate his body more, but it seemed that the mission had done its toll.
Ryuunosuke gritted his teeth, supporting himself with the side post of his bed to get up, ignoring the newly-made stains on the floor and collapsing onto his desk chair.
For a while, he looked up at the ceiling, contemplating if he really wanted to pen this next letter.
…..
He was going to die anyways, why not?
So, deciding to clean his room up later so as not to alarm Gin, he took out a fresh sheet of paper and a pen.
-.. . .- - ....
To Michizō Tachihara. (I believe that we are not close enough to warrant referring to you as ‘Dear,’ as commonly done, but I must add that I do respect you)
If you are reading this, I have most definitely passed away. I will cut straight to the chase. Never once was I a suitable older brother figure to you yet you still insisted on referring to me with a title befitting of one, either due to your youthful whims or because you were projecting.
Apologies, that may have been a bit personal.
You strike me as someone with great self-doubt who attempts to hide his conflicted feelings under the guise of brashness. Not that I think that you are faking your, for the lack of a better word, obnoxious behavior, but it is fairly easy to see that deep down, you have mixed feelings. I will admit that it was not me who noticed these things, but Gin.
If, at this moment, you are wondering why me and Gin have talked enough to share such details, I must confess the truth. To preface this, though, I will say that all of this is with Gin’s consent, for this letter will only make its way to you if Gin sees fit. In her letter, I will leave the choice completely up to her if she would like to send this, cut out some parts, or just burn it.
Yes, her.
Akutagawa Gin is a girl . I must underline it so it gets through your thick head.
She is my younger sister and although we have drifted apart, we remain tied by blood so I will make sure to become a ghost and haunt you if she dies young.
But I digress, she is not a child and does not need protecting.
I am in no position to advise you, we were never close and I will not pretend that we are but as your senior, I feel like it is necessary to do so, lest you lose your mind and cause harm to everyone you know.
You once asked me if I saw you as a mafioso. I doubt you remember, it was a long time ago, back when you were first put into the Black Lizard and, since I was and still am in charge of the guerilla forces, I went to meet you. The first thing that crossed my mind was that you were loud. Yet, your laugh was infectious to those around you, I even saw Hirotsu-san chuckle at your antics. Although he is not an uptight man, that is still fairly rare for him.
I hadn’t known you well back then, either, so when I dragged you out to the balcony after you practically forced everyone to go drinking yet got the most intoxicated yourself, I did not particularly have an answer for your words.
I remember your words clearly, partly because I had not consumed any alcohol and because I simply do not forget my memories easily. A blessing and a curse at times, I suppose, but I am moving out of track.
“Do you think I’m cut out to be a mafioso?”
You asked these words while staring off into the distant sky, your eyes clearly not seeing the cityscape in front of you. It was obvious that you were lost in your thoughts, dark and brooding thoughts that seemed to be plaguing you bit by bit.
I had simply shoved my hands in my pockets, told you that I was leaving, and departed the balcony. Never once did I stop to perhaps ask what was on your mind or even try and stop you from drinking. You were underaged, I was well aware, but at the time such activities were so common to me due to a certain man that I paid it no mind.
I would not stop you from intoxicating yourself if this occurred in the present day, either, but I would have answered you. Most likely, my answer back in the day would have been one of finding your own path or that it was not my business to tell you.
But now, I would say that you are.
Michizo Tachihara, you have earned the right to be called a mafioso. Most, if not all of your missions have finished in success, under your membership the Black Lizard has become the most deadly group in the Port Mafia. I wonder why you ever thought to question yourself but it would be hypocritical of me to say that it was beyond me to understand your woes. Long ago, I was under the impression that I was far too weak to protect what I had to and that I had to endlessly get stronger to earn the right to live.
I was wrong.
I had been strong enough the entire time.
As a side note, change your clothes once in a while. It may sound amusing coming from me, but that jacket you always wear is tacky. Who am I to judge your fashion sense, though.
With that out of the way, I leave you my last words.
Do not give up no matter how unwanted and undeserving of your life you feel. Even if you think that you cannot possibly deserve any joy or possess happiness, you do. I am well aware that we have all committed heinous acts that, aside from eliminating other dangerous targets, have also put innocent civilians in danger. I do not ask you to change your ways, but to embrace your current ones. Do not feel self pity, instead carry your head up high and truly represent the Mafia with all that you have.
I wish you well. While I trust Gin, I worry that she may throw herself into work far too much out of distress. I have no way to know how she may react, of course, she may be relieved, but I ask that you put aside your differences and try not to let her die.
She is not the type to try and end her life, she is resilient and will move on.
You mustn't hinder her.
Goodbye, forever.
—Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.
-.. . .- - ....
Ryuunosuke blinked, turning his eyes to the drawn curtains. The sky was a beautiful hue of orange with bits of purple and blue sprinkles in with gradients.
Ah, he wondered if his funeral would be held on a day like this.