Chapter Text
The stranger's exact words repeat in my mind and I reach for him, stopping short of touching his arm.
"What are you saying?" I ask. "How could I save—"
He silences me with a wave of his hand, then motions off to the side. I turn to see Donatello there… still leaning against the wall as blood continues to flow from the great slash in his throat. I step close to my brother and fall to my knees, staring into his open, aware eyes; but when I try to touch him, my hand passes through his immaterial body.
"Please…" I beg the man in a whisper. "Just… tell me what I need to do… please…"
"Your spirit is still strong, even as close as you are to death," he tells me. "If you are willing, you can use that strength and the grace that is within you to send your brothers back, to let them live again… to reunite their spirits with their bodies. Then, afterwards, to return to your own."
"But how? Teach me how!"
He laughs. "Were you taught how to breathe? Just touch him, and the rest will come to you."
I don't understand, but I do as the man says. I reach out, and my hands slide through Donnie once more.
"He's… I can't touch him."
The stranger sighs. "Perhaps you should think in terms of science, as Donatello always has," he says. "He would speak of radiation, of oxygen, of waves of sound… he would tell you that, just because you cannot feel something, it does not mean that it is not there."
He's right… Donnie would say that, and I wonder if he is telling the old man these things at this very moment, trying to help me to understand.
My fingers fold into fists, then I release them and again place my hands within the specter of Don's body. I don't know what to do… but I want him to live… I want it so much, so desperately… I imagine pouring a piece of myself into his hollow frame…
Is it working? It must be working. Somehow… somehow, I feel him become more solid under my touch…
But how much do I need to give him? How hard am I supposed to hold on? For how long? I don't want to stop… I'm afraid to stop. I don't want to lose Don again because I gave up too soon.
Closing my eyes, I give him more will, more substance, more of myself…
"Let go," the man says close to my ear, his tone holding a warning. "Leonardo, you must let go."
I pull my hands back, then I fall forward onto my chest. It feels as if a piece of me has been torn away, but I welcome its absence. Opening my eyes, I see that Donnie is gone, and my heart lightens with hope. I rise weakly to my knees to look at the man as he smiles down at me.
"Good," he says. "Now, for Raphael."
He points behind me and I turn unsteadily around. I see Raph there, not so far away. He is lying at the bottom of a stagnant water puddle, his eyes staring blankly up at the sky.
It is too hard now for me to stand, so I crawl to my brother's side. It seems almost as if I am dragging my way through a swamp, the resistance in the air is so great. I look down at Raphael and reach into the water to put my hands on him. He is more solid to my touch than Don had been, but not much more than the water around him.
I close my eyes as I breathe into him, willing another part of my soul to revive his own. It is more difficult now, as if I have little left to give. But still I try, I press on, and as my being pours out from me I feel my brother dissolve beneath my touch. When I open my eyes, he too is gone.
A relieved laugh finds its way to my lips as I fall forward, my hands landing on the wet ground where Raphael had just been…
I feel so weak now… frail and faint… I can barely move, but I turn to look at the man as he nods in approval.
"Now," he says, "will yourself back to the world."
It is harder to give myself life than it was to give to my brothers, and as I struggle I wonder if perhaps I had given them so much that I do not now have enough for my own return. But, no… if I had done so, then the man would tell me… I know he would tell me.
So I reach out, in my thoughts taking hold of the tether that links me to the world I left behind… pulling against the current that is trying to keep me here. I stare at the street ahead as I claw at the fragments of life my body must still be clinging to, and I feel my soul beginning to lift…
I stop.
There is a wavering in my vision. A small form appears before me… a child, a baby… an infant of no more than a few weeks old…
The stranger shifts about, then crouches beside the child and touches her head.
"She passed just now…" he says, sorrow in his words. "At just this moment, in her sleep. Her parents do not yet know."
A chill grips me, colder than the grave. "…No…"
"Perhaps it will hearten you at least to know that her time in this place will be short… that all who come here so young move on quickly." The man shakes his head and looks to me. "You still have time to go back. Go, be with your brothers."
But I cannot bring myself to even try. "…Can I…" I force out. "…Can I send her back…?"
"Yes," he says. "But if you do, then you may not have the strength to return to yourself."
I don't care. If I can save her… if I can spare her parents the pain of losing her… then I don't care.
The man watches on wordlessly as I fight to my knees and crawl slowly to the child, then I lift her into my arms and hug her small body to my own. She is as solid as I am, so much more than my brothers were…
My brothers…
I know they will miss me, that they will mourn me… but at least they will have each other again… Mikey won't be alone, he won't feel the need to follow me to this place…
Looking into the child's peaceful face, I imagine her growing, learning, playing, living. I smile… and I let myself go, giving that last piece of myself to her…
I watch her fade away from my feeble embrace… I feel myself fall back onto the ground…
My body is cold, and my thoughts race as memories of my own life dash before my eyes… I see my father, my brothers, our friends… I recall everything I have ever done, have ever thought… I feel again every regret, every joy, every breath…
All at once, my vision stills and my mind grows quiet, and I see nothing but the black sky above me…
I can't move now… I can't blink, I can't breathe…
I'm not meant to…