Chapter Text
Darcy woke up screaming. She was bathed in cold sweat, trembling as she sat up and grabbed Loki’s jacket, clinging to it like a lifeline and inhaling the lingering scent of cinnamon. Calming her breathing, she glanced at the clock. Four in the morning. Close enough .
Darcy got up and showered, getting dressed and heading to the infirmary to get an early start on some work for the day, preparing various potions and poultices the team could bring with them on longer missions where she wasn’t there to help in a pinch. She occasionally flexed her left hand as she worked, stretching out the ache that still radiated across her skin.
Her tattoo—her seidknutr —always burned when she had nightmares about Loki.
After she first learned of Loki falling into the Void, she would feel sharp flares of pain emanating from the seidknutr every once in a while. She had asked Frigga about it, but no one knew enough about the ways of seidknutr to understand what it could mean. Darcy tried suggesting it might mean Loki was alive somewhere, trying to contact her somehow, but Frigga gently rejected that idea.
“Darling, I know how difficult it is to accept, but no one could survive such a fall. Loki is gone…”
Then one day, the pain suddenly stopped, and the only time she felt anything from her seidknutr was after one of her nightmares. This seemed to confirm Frigga’s suggestion that the pain had to do with the broken bond and Darcy’s own grief. Over time, the markings began to fade, and while Darcy felt in part that this was a sign that she was beginning to heal, it also made the thought of getting better and losing the marking entirely unbearable.
Darcy was just finishing preparing the last of the medicinals when Steve walked into the infirmary. “And I thought I was an early riser,” he teased lightly. “How long have you been up?”
Glancing at the clock, Darcy shrugged nonchalantly. “A couple of hours. Couldn’t sleep.”
“Bad dream?”
Grimacing, Darcy nodded. “I need coffee. Wanna join me?”
“Yeah, but I can’t stay long. I’m going to visit Peggy again today.” Steve hesitated. “Do you want to come? You’re always good at making her laugh, and she’s seemed a bit more reserved lately.”
Darcy smiled. “You know I always love visiting Pegs. Let’s go.”
After stopping for some much-needed caffeine, Steve and Darcy headed to the care facility where Peggy lived, arriving right at the start of visiting hours. Steve was grateful for Darcy’s company. He loved visiting Peggy, but sometimes it just made him feel even more alone in the world. She was a reminder of a past he could never have—a history he couldn’t get back to.
After picking up visitor passes, Steve and Darcy were directed to the gardens, where they found Peggy sitting in a wheelchair, a knitted blanket tucked around her legs to stave off the chill.
Peggy was having a good day and seemed to brighten even further as Darcy and Steve joined her. She didn’t remember them, of course, but was always happy to engage with company, and true to form Darcy didn’t fail to make the older woman laugh.
“You’re a lucky young man,” Peggy said, smiling fondly at Steve. “Best hang onto this one—she’s a keeper.”
Steve flushed at the implication. “Oh, no, we’re not—”
Peggy brushed off his denial. “You will be. I have an eye for these sorts of things.”
Darcy chuckled, looking up at Steve and giving him a shrug that said just play along .
As they were getting up to leave, Peggy reached out and took Steve’s hand, stopping him from following Darcy back inside.
“It’s time to move on, Steve,” Peggy said softly, her eyes reflecting a rare moment of clarity. “You can’t live in the past forever.”
Steve’s eyes widened and he kneeled in front of her. “Pegs…”
Peggy reached up a hand to his cheek. “You’re allowed to love more than one person,” she said softly. “Whoever you lost, don’t let memories of her hold you back from the love you could have now. Take it from someone who has loved and lost and never learned to let him go…”
Steve’s heart sank as he realized she didn’t remember him in the way he had hoped. He nodded, giving her a grateful smile. “I’ll think about it, Pegs. Thanks.” After kissing Peggy lightly on the forehead, Steve stood and went back inside, catching up to Darcy.
Darcy looked up at Steve in concern. “You okay, Steve?”
He nodded, forcing a smile. “I will be.”
Steve found Bruce meditating on the roof. He closed the door a little louder than necessary to make sure Bruce knew he was there and wouldn’t get caught off guard.
Bruce smiled, opening his eyes and turning to look at Steve. “I have better control than that, you know. The Other Guy won’t show up just because you sneak up on me, especially not with Tony constantly trying to get a reaction.”
Steve chuckled. “Has he ever succeeded?”
“Not even once.”
“You’ll have to tell me your secret sometime.” Steve walked over and sat down on a mat beside Bruce, resting his arms on his knees.
Bruce gave Steve a knowing look. “What’s going on, Steve?”
Steve sighed, leaning back on his hands. “That obvious?”
“Considering how you tend to treat me like your therapist? Yeah, a little bit.”
Steve winced guiltily. “I don’t mean it like that—”
Bruce waved a hand, cutting Steve off with a reassuring smile. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ve spent years perfecting the art of mental stability—kind of a necessity for me. We’re friends, I don’t mind you coming to me if you’ve got a load to get off your shoulders.”Sighing in relief, Steve opened up. “I’ve just been thinking lately about the past—about who I used to be. Before I woke up in the 21st century, even before I was Captain America…” Steve hesitated. “Do you ever wish you could go back to who you were before? Before the…Other Guy?”
Bruce smirked. “Of course I do. Every day. But I try not to let those thoughts rule me because this is my reality now. Going back isn’t an option. I’ve tried.”
Steve nodded. That’s what the SHIELD therapists had told him too in those early months before he stopped going. It wasn’t like any of them could really understand what he was going through. “And what if you found happiness in your life now ? What if you found something…or someone…who could help you move on and accept that this is your new reality? Do you think that’s okay? Or would it feel like you’re betraying who you used to be?”
“Steve, you can’t let yourself feel guilty for moving forward with your life,” Bruce insisted, resting a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “If you have a chance to be happy, you should take it. Dwelling in the past will just make every day more painful than it needs to be.” Bruce stood up, stretching his arms overhead. “And if you ask me, I think you and Darcy could both use a little dose of happiness.”
Steve looked up at Bruce in shock. “Darcy? Who said anything about Darcy?”
Bruce laughed. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are, Captain. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and it races every time she’s within twenty feet of you.”
Steve flushed, embarrassed he had been so obvious.
“Just ask her out on a date, Steve,” Bruce suggests. “The worst she can do is say no, and then you go back to being friends.”
“You make it sound so easy…” Steve muttered. He still wasn’t even sure if this was what he wanted. He still loved Peggy. Could he have feelings for Darcy too, or was it just platonic affection? He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. I guess there’s only one way to find out…
Darcy was reading a book in the main lounge when Steve found her. He sat next to her on the couch, clearing his throat nervously. Darcy looked up, surprised at his sudden awkwardness.
“Something going on, Steve?” she asked, crinkling her brow curiously.
Steve took a deep breath, bolstering his confidence, and just blurted it out. “I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me.”
Darcy stared at him in shock. “Oh. You want to…with me…a date…” she stammered, still processing what had just happened. Was Captain America seriously asking her on a date? And did she want to go?
“You can say no,” Steve continued, twisting his hands in his lap and avoiding looking at her. “It’s okay if you’re not ready, or not interested. Our friendship is more important, so if you don’t want to go beyond that I understand—”
“Steve!” Darcy shouted, cutting off his rambling. “Calm down. I want to go.”
He finally looked up at her, his eyes wide and innocent like a puppy. “You…you do?”
She gave him a nervous smile and nodded. “I mean, I don’t know yet if I want there to be anything more than friendship between us…and I’m still not sure I’m ready for anything, even if I did want it. But…I think we both deserve to give it a shot, yeah?”
Steve sighed, smiling sheepishly. “Yeah. I’m not sure I’m ready either, but it just feels like we owe it to ourselves to see if we can move on from the past. And what better way to test the waters than with someone you trust, right?”
Darcy closed her book and stood up from the couch. “Alright, if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. But also privately, because you’re Captain America and I’m Tony Stark’s daughter. There are already enough rumors about us just from grabbing coffee together, we really don’t need to stoke the fire with a fancy date.”
“Good point,” Steve agreed. “What do you have in mind?”
Darcy thought for a moment. “Dinner. Your apartment, because I don’t want our dearly beloved Avengers butting in, plus Thor’s due for another visit and he really has no clue how to read a room.”
Steve grinned and nodded. “Okay, but I’m cooking.”
“Deal.”