Chapter Text
Ever since they were young, Naruto’s feelings towards Sasuke had been conflicted and confusing to her.
She had made the decision years ago that she hated Sasuke. It wasn’t because he treated her worse than anyone else did— in fact, in comparison, he really hadn’t been bad at all. Sasuke had never blamed her for things or used her as a scapegoat; he had never sought her out to hurt her or cowered away from her in fear.
No, what had set him apart from all the other kids was that Naruto had wanted so badly to be his friend. Of course Naruto had been desperate for any friends, but Sasuke had been… special.
It was so embarrassing to think about it now, and Naruto would never ever tell Sasuke, but she had admired him so much (she still did).
Sasuke had always been so strong and cool and effortlessly good at everything he did. And… he had been all alone, just like her.
It had been selfish but, as a child, Naruto had found comfort in knowing that Sasuke was just as alone as she was. It had made her feel a little less so.
She had wanted so badly not to be alone anymore. And knowing how painful that loneliness was, she had wanted to help Sasuke too.
Often Naruto had fantasized about approaching Sasuke and becoming friends with him, of saving them both from their loneliness.
But she had never had the courage.
Sasuke was different from everyone else in a way that Naruto still didn’t understand. It went beyond his skills and his matching loneliness. It was something Naruto couldn’t explain.
Growing up, people were always horrible to Naruto. They feared and abhorred her; they hurt her and dismissed her. And it was painful… but not as painful as when Sasuke did it.
A single dismissal from Sasuke had been more devastating than all the other children’s torment combined.
And Naruto didn’t understand why. It was confusing and frustrating— the effect Sasuke had on her, the way he was able to make her feel so strongly. She had hated it, so she had decided that she hated him.
Then everything Sasuke did started to bother her. The skills she admired, she began to envy. (If only she were as good as Sasuke, she would think, then people would like her.) His hardness, coldness, and arrogance— she had hated it all.
But regardless, she had still looked up to him, still wanted to be his friend. It was confusing and frustrating and so she clung to her anger even harder.
But… lying in the dark, in Sasuke’s bed, unwilling to sleep in his company (anyone’s company really), Naruto thought of the last couple months she’d spent with Sasuke.
She thought about their time in Wave— the way they had trained together and pushed each other to be better… the way Sasuke had saved her life even though he’d been convinced it would be at the price of his own. She thought about the way he had fed her because she’d been hungry, that first day as a team, even though he’d just been told that doing so would have him sent back to the Academy. She thought about all of the fun she had with their competitions and bickering. She thought about the way they had trusted each other and moved together so seamlessly to save Sakura yesterday, the slumber party they had last night, the way Sasuke defended her this morning.
She thought and thought and thought…
Even the little things played insistently in her head.
Like the way Sasuke had rolled up her sleeve earlier when he had noticed Naruto trying unsuccessfully to scrunch it up with her chin. He had of course insulted her while doing it, calling her an usuratonkachi, but he had still helped her with noticeable gentleness and care.
Naruto snickered quietly to herself as she remembered dinner too.
They had made do with what Sasuke still had in his cupboards, and cooking together had gone surprisingly well. Naruto only complained a tad about having to take orders from Sasuke and they only fought a little bit. (Though they did nearly burn the rice due to their arguing and then argued about the nearly burnt rice.) But, what really stood out was when Sasuke finally gave in to feeding Naruto.
He had been such a jerk about it, she remembered fondly.
He would hold the bite just slightly too far away from her and when Naruto would move to reach it, he would move it even further back. He would purposefully miss her mouth sometimes, getting food on her cheeks and chin. At one point, he gave her a bite consisting of only the grossest ingredients. He had done all of this with a straight face, acting all nonchalant and like it wasn’t completely intentional, but Naruto could tell by the amusement dancing in his eyes that he had been messing with her.
She had yelled at him for the teasing but privately thought that it was pretty funny.
Even when it was at her expense, seeing Sasuke happy made Naruto inexplicably happy too. The same way that seeing him in pain hurt her terribly in turn.
Naruto didn’t know what it was about Sasuke that made her feel this way.
He was just… special.