Chapter Text
The darkness of the Chamber of Secrets was secret..
Black plumes of smoke slithered across slimy sewer floors, engulfing the legs of that old chair that her old woman ass sat upon. A croak of suppressed laughter caused her nose to drop from her face, the skin too thin and aged to keep structure. Stringy ginger locks of hair hung limp around her muscular, manly shoulders. Sharp enough face to cut through bone. All of her masculine glory was illuminated by the glow of the evil orb sat before her, upon a bone pedestal.
"My child... d/n.... you will see... you will see.." She croaked in a manly way, brittle and soiled fingers circling the evil orb of light that showed an image of y/n, sound asleep...
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Y/n never really dreamt- for dreams always lead to nightmares in real life. But...
Y/n stood before a garden of beauty: it was the middle of spring, with butterflies scattering the crisp morning air, and the sunlight illuminating a plethora of perfectly groomed shrubbery before him. And, sitting within those bushes and long LGBT grass stems, were men. Big buff men, some more lanky, some more charming and charismatic, some bald... Some known, others not so much. They all watched y/n walk with purpose, flushed pink and a little dazed with confusion, towards the center of this... spring garden, along a yellow brick road.
There, in the center of the center, stood in the fountain and looking like he was sent straight from the heavens, was an angel: yellow mohawk, two buttcheeks for a magnificent chin, a cheeky little chappy face, a monarch butterfly resting upon a crooked finger. His face was half turned to y/n's transgender presence. He chuckled.
The sound of musical, rizzy, old time smooth romantic jazz was his laugh.
He said simple words that cut through the beauty of this garden with something even more.
Something better.
Something perfect.
"Ramen, milady?"
And then- just like that!- y/n awoke, panting for breath with a beet red face.
Yare yare...