Chapter Text
The walls of Ramshackle seemed to shift and creak with each movement, a palace of peeling wallpaper and rusted metal, infested with roaches and cobwebs. The mattress was a glorified chunk of foam, resting atop a bed frame so rickety that Spider wouldn’t be shocked if he woke up on the ground. Dust fell from the ceiling as he pitifully tried to fall asleep, this was somehow worse than sharing a room with his sister.
He’d been here for less than a full day and he already wanted to kill himself.
Falling asleep was a chore. He tossed and turned, careful not to wake up Grim. he tried just about every position he could contort himself into until he finally found something tolerable that wouldn’t kill his neck.
Though the sleep wasn’t great, morning was still less than a mercy.
The room smelled of nothing but dust. The sleepwear that Crowley provided was really just some spare P.E shorts and an old t-shirt that was about 3 sizes too big, sporting the NRC logo on the front. The bed was creaky and the mattress expelled enough dust and soot to choke him when he first sat on it, but it was a bed. It was a bed with pillows and blankets that, despite how tattered they were, were still warm.
Grim curled up at Spider’s feet, much like Spider’s cat always did back home. Smoke was a skittish cat, she refused to sleep without curling up against someone. Anything could spook her awake, even the drop of a pin. Spider had to wonder if she was sleeping at all without him there.
Light seeped in through the cracked window and came through Spider’s eyelashes, his eyes hazy and barely open.
A raspy, playful voice invaded his ears, and it wasn’t Grim.
“Hee hee… aren’t you two supposed to be off doing janitor work today~?” it cooed. Spider’s eyes blinked open, uneasy at the unfamiliar voice, but it was just a ghost.
“Mmmm… just another minute, Ma…” Grim whined. He has a mother? That's new.
Another ghost hovered about. Spider wasn’t a fan of sharing a room with ghosts.
“Go ahead, sleep the day away! And you might not eeeever hafta wake up again!” One ghost called. “Just like us~!” another laughed.
Spider wasn’t quite awake yet, his vision was blurry and his body felt like he’d just ran 15 miles. The thin old mattress had him more sore than anyone should be when they start the day. Spider was eternally mad at Crowley for not letting him use one of the perfectly good dorms. He fantasized for a moment about the soft, cushy pillows and plush mattresses that they must offer, given how high end this school is…
“THE GHOSTS ARE BACK! Spider!! Up and at em!!” Grim cried, shooting up like his tail was stepped on. Spider blinked away the haze of his eyes and sat up, cursing the heavens for the pain between his shoulder blades.
Grim blasted them away with one lazy fire spout, they weren’t as persistent this morning. Spider dropped his head back down, burying his face in the barely-soft pillow that he had to shake dust and cobwebs out of. The pillow was now smeared with makeup, he’d been too tired to properly wash his face last night. And the sink barely worked anyway. He nearly dozed off, tuning out whatever bullshit Grim was spewing, until he was rudely greeted by a ghost yet again.
“Soo I hear you’ll be living here from now on? Hope you like pranks as much as we do!” The thinnest ghost of the bunch hovered above the bed, sending a chill down Spider’s aching spine. He groaned, picking up the pillow and attempting to smack the ghost, though it just phased through it. The ghost giggled as it disappeared, and Spider fell against the bed again. He wanted to sleep for 15 more hours.
“We gotta get rid of those guys!! For good!!” Grim exclaimed.
“Mhmm…” Spider drearily agreed, and a shocking few minutes of silence went by. Spider drifted back to sleep in the faint, warm sunlight, and Grim shockingly left him alone. He needed this. He needed 30 hours of sleep. And another 20. He needed to go into a coma. He needed to die.
That lasted all of five minutes before he heard footsteps approach the door. Very comforting thing to hear.
He blinked awake, glancing around the room for something to use to defend himself. He started to reach for the lamp on the bedside table, cautiously watching the rickety old door, which slowly opened to reveal…
Weird Fucker.
“Good morning, Spider! Did you sleep we-” Weird Fucker was interupted by Spider chucking a lamp at him. He didn't need to defend himself, sure, but he wanted to be left alone.
“MYAH!” Grim jumped back, and Weird Fucker used his weird fucker magic to catch the lamp before it hit anything and broke. It levitated in the air for a moment before being brought back to its original place on the bedside table.
Weird Fucker cleared his throat, clearly unhappy. “Let us try this again. Ahem. Did you sleep well?”
“No. Fuck off!!” Spider yelled, and Grim piped up as well.
“Not at all. The mattress fell right through the frame!!” Grim whined.
“No it didn’t, you fuckdick, I’m laying on it!” Spider shot back.
“Ugh. and we got woken up by ghosts!!” Grim looked up at Weird Fucker as if he was at all intimidating and couldn’t easily be punted into the fireplace.
“I slept like ass.” Spider mumbled into the pillow, having flopped back down after his lamp escapade didn't work. He had no idea what his makeup looked like. He did not want Weird Fucker in here.
“Well, it’s understandable you’d be anxious after being pulled into an unfamiliar place.”
Spider was… a lot of things. He wasn’t sure if anxious was one of them.
“I’m not anxious. This bed is shit.” He was basically ignoring Weird Fucker.
“But… the world is cruel sometimes. So suck it up and move on!” Weird Fucker grinned. Grim pouted, curling up on the bed again. They were both ready to go back to sleep. Weird Fucker was essentially talking at them, not to them.
“Let us discuss your assignment for today.” Weird Fucker pulled the tarp off the chair in the corner, unveiling a mound of dust into the air. Spider coughed as he sat down like he owned the place.
“Assignment…?” Spider mumbled.
“Your job today is to clean the campus. That said, the campus is vast, and without magic, it’d be quite a Herculean task to clean it all.” Weird Fucker mused.
“Suck a dick.” Spider said into the pillow. Weird Fucker seemed to be ignoring him at this point.
“For today, i’ll have you focus on the area spanning from the front gates to the library.” Weird Fucker stood up, stepping closer to the bed. Grim hissed at him, acting more and more like a house cat.
“Oh goodie.” Spider said sarcastically.
“Now, Spider…” Weird Fucker was clearly displeased of him still being in bed, and so dismissive towards him. He tapped Spider’s shoulder a time or two with his fuckass claw hands, causing him to unearth his face from the pillow and scowl at him.
“I do expect that you’ll keep a close eye on Grim, lest he cause another incident.” Weird Fucker sounded a bit stern, and Spider finally sat up a bit, waving his hand.
“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes, rubbing his eye a bit to wake up. The smear of eyeshadow left on his hand wasn't a good sign.
“Do not fail me.” Weird Fucker smiled. He began to step towards the door, that fake grin still plastered on his face.
“I’ll leave and allow you to freshen up, but I expect to see you get to work in a timely manner. You may take your lunch in the cafeteria.” he bowed, before stepping out. After a moment, the creak of the main door faded out, and Spider groaned into the pillow yet again.
He glanced at Grim. “What are the chances the shower in this dump works?” He asked, sounding pretty hopeless.
“Probably pretty low.” Grim replied, waddling into the sad little bathroom connected to the bedroom. Spider followed close behind, picking up the broom. He wrung out the cobwebs from the shower and managed to get the bathroom light to turn on, but the chances of the thing turning on were slim.
The sink worked a drop at a time, and the toilet flushed, but not without struggle. The shower… clearly had seen better days.
Spider turned the faucet little by little, and water… actually came out!
…for about 10 seconds.
“UGH!” Spider groaned, tossing the broom on the floor in frustration. Grim pouted a bit.
“Maybe the one downstairs works!” He proposed, already racing downstairs. Whatever, Spider thought. Let him explore.
Spider got the sink to run, and wrung the dust out of the least tattered towel. He managed to scrub the last of the makeup off his face, and stared in the cracked mirror for a moment.
He came to a realization that left a heavy feeling in his chest.
He grabbed the uniform Weird Fucker gave him and managed to shut the door, not without some struggle and a lot of creaking. It didn’t fit right at all.
The shirt was a bit small, and didn’t quite button right over his chest. The jacket, however, was far too big, and came down over his hands. The pants fit fine, but were a bit long. The shoes fit perfectly, but they had no heel, and Spider had a complex about his height. This would never do.
He opted to keep the NRC sleepwear shirt on under the button up. It was comfier, and he didn’t trust that the buttons wouldn’t pop open. He cuffed the pants and rolled up the jacket sleeves, and tossed his hair a bit.
He stared at the mirror a moment too long, standing on his toes. The makeup he was wearing is long gone, and it's not like he has any more.
He let the door open, seeing Grim on the bed again, fur standing straight up. That pit in his chest came back.
Spider never left the house without makeup.
His skin was uneven and covered in blemishes. Small scars here and there, pimples and little spots, other things he couldn’t help but fixate on. And… not to mention, from head to toe, he was covered in freckles.
Years of working out in the blistering Georgia sun gave him freckles, permanently covering him, most evident across his cheeks and his shoulders. He hated them.
His tan faded a bit over the years, due to going outside less. But he wasn’t as pasty as his older sister, he still had a bit. The freckles never seemed to leave.
He didn’t like going out without makeup in his world. Much less in a world where people don’t know him, don’t have an impression of him. He has to make them form good impressions. He can’t go out like this.
He glanced at Grim again, who finally noticed the door was open. He seems exasperated.
“The shower downstairs DON’T work!! It’s worse! I got shocked!” Grim exclaimed, causing Spider to chuckle a bit.
Grim pouted, jumping off the bed and stepping over to Spider. He looked up at him, eyes widening. “You look different, henchhuman!”
Spider rolled his eyes. “Kill yourself.” He walked out of the bedroom, wishing he had literally anything. Weird Fucker gave him some basic stuff, just a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, and some bottled water. But he didn’t have any damn food, or anything to calm the wrath of his acne. Or cover it. Or those goddamn freckles.
He grabbed a bottle of water, which was sitting in the fridge that didn’t work. He needed caffeine badly.
“You have spots on your face!” Grim exclaimed, like he’d never seen a person with freckles. “Shut up. We have shit to do.”
Spider stepped over to the door, Grim sauntering behind him. “Hmph. I don’t wanna clean nothin’!” He whined. Spider opened the door, blinded by the sunlight. He guessed it was around 8am, by the position of the sun. There were no working clocks in Ramshackle, they were all stuck at 4:20. Nice.
Grim jumped around as he followed Spider. “I’m here to study magic so I can be blastin’ off spells! BOOM! POW! BAM!”
“We can go to the library after we’re done cleanin’. I ain’t stoked either.” Spider glared. There were plenty of things he wasn’t stoked about. “Hrmph.” Grim grumbled.
Overall, it was a shit morning. And it was hot as balls outside. Spider did not feel like sweeping in the blistering sun for hours on end. But, here he was.
Kill me now.