Chapter Text
"What do we do? We can't let Donnie find out we were in here."
April and Splinter were mirrors of each other as they paced across the floor. Cassandra watched them about-face in sync and moved her gaze to Sunita, who was cooing and taking pictures of the conked-out blue turtle child. Her eyes slipped back to the pacing pair with a raised brow.
"Should we not tell the purple one what has transpired?"
"Of course not!" They yelled, gazing at her as if she was insane.
"Would he not be the most informed source for what to do now?" She said slowly to the worked-up individuals.
"Yeah, him or Blue or the drone, who would tell on us anyway! None of them are options! We cannot let Purple know about this. He is a monster! I will have to sit through the educational channels for a month at minimum! And we don't even know what he will do to all of you!" He pointed at them wildly and then sat down heavily before Leo's small, sleeping form. Splinter's glaring eyes softened, watching the tot's chest rise and fall. He shook his head and pointed at them sternly. "You should be scared too!"
April crossed her arms.
"It's a mystic potion that's affected Donnie before. I'm pretty sure it has no side effects, and he'll change back after one to two days."
"Well, that's good then," Sunita said, "No one will notice he's gone for only one day, right? We can just come up with an excuse!"
"...maybe." April took out her phone and started tapping at it.
"What are you looking at?" Sunita asked.
April furrowed her brows and swiped rapidly on her phone, searching.
"Donnie's calendar," she said, " He posted the link to our chat so we wouldn't interrupt his experiment periods or whatevs. Here we go…"
April's voice trailed off. They waited patiently for a few moments before Splinter asked:
"Well?"
April moved her eyes from her phone to them and back to the phone.
"...what day is today?" she asked.
Cassandra raised a brow.
"December 17th."
"17th," April repeated.
"Yes."
"You sure?"
Of course, she was. Cassandra didn't let it bother her. The Hamato clan seemed prone to emotional outbursts. Slow processing skills were probably another side effect of not being evil.
"Yes."
"…Happy National Twins Day's Eve," April said distantly.
Splinter let his head fall forward.
"Of course, it would be," he sighed, “Hide the evidence. I know who we can go to.”
The girls quickly swept the glass away and cleared the floor. Sunita frowned at Leo’s odachi and mask on the floor. Unsure what to do with them, she wrapped the sword in the towel they had gotten and stowed it all under a cabinet in Donnie’s lab then gave the others a thumbs up.
15 minutes later...
April, Sunita, Cassandra, and Splinter stood in the elevator of a New York apartment building. Leo was wrapped in a blanket and strapped to Splinter's back like a backpack. Said rat glared grumpily at his feet, him and April both visibly displeased, as the Sunita and Cassandra hummed along to the elevator music.
"Maybe he'll believe that Leo just forgot?" Sunita asked, genuinely curious why the Splinter and April seemed so concerned.
"Blue? Forget about National Twin Day? Pssh-aaah!" Splinter scoffed, shifting the weight on his back and looking sulkily at his vague reflection in the elevator wall.
April sighed."Those two get up to all sorts of nonsense from dawn to dusk on National Twin Day every year. Leo spends all day trying to convince Donnie they're twins, and Donnie spends all day pretending he doesn't enjoy spending time with Leo."
The elevator reached their floor with a polite ding, opening its doors for them to leave. They filed out into the hallway as April continued.
"If Leo's not breaking his door down when he wakes up, Donnie's gonna know something's up immediately. Which is why—"
The girls stopped before a door with Splinter safely holding Leo behind them. Together, the girls lifted their feet and kicked the door open.
"BARRY!" April called.
"SHHHHHHH!!!"Splinter smacked their backs, looking over his shoulder in alarm at Leo, who had begun to squirm at the noise."Shhhh! Shh! Shh!" Splinter hissed.
They all tensed, looking at the distressed baby on Splinter's back. After a couple seconds, Leo's expression smoothed, and their shoulders relaxed.
"O'Neil! Why must you and your 'friends—?!'"
The girls slammed their hands over Draxum's mouth as he entered their view, harshly shushing him. Glaring at him to remain silent, they carefully removed their hands.
Draxum crossed his arms.
"What is it?" he whispered harshly, "Why are you shushing me in my own place of residence?"
A soft cry drew all eyes back to the tot on Splinter's back.
Leo teared up at all the big, weird-looking strangers and the unfamiliar surroundings. One of them took a hesitant step forward, and he started to cry—afraid.
"Dad! Daddy!"
"Shh, Blue. It is okay. Daddy is here."
April, Sunita, and Cassandra looked disapprovingly at Draxum as Splinter comforted the tired, grumpy toddler.
"Is that—?"
"It's Leo."
April frowned as Draxum looked at her suspiciously."And you came to me and not the purple one because…?"
April smiled sheepishly."Because he can't find out."
Draxum released a heavy sigh, head pounding along with the child's cries.
"I despise this family."
"—fascinating. Is it an art unique to your clan?" Cassandra watched Draxum stir his witch-esque cauldron curiously, looking at the runes drawn beneath his feet with some familiarity but mostly curiosity.
Draxum huffed and then chuckled.
"I got my title of baron from my achievements, not my lineage. You pick up a thing or two as a warring warrior scientist."
"Parenting skills aren't one of them," Splinter drawled, watching Leo tug on the yokai's shirt while the yokai persistently ignored him.
"Would one of you please get this child away from me?" Draxum said, "This ritual is very delicate. The measurements have to be extremely precise—"
"You don't need to tell me why you're an awful parent," Splinter said, "I already know. Come here, Blue."
Draxum glared at the lazily reclined rat.
Leo glanced between his dad and the fascinating man who wasn't human but wasn't a turtle or a rat, like his dad. It was so weird seeing someone else like himself. The goat man looked so funny.
The goat man looked down at him again, and Leo beamed. The goat man flinched and almost dropped the beaker, cursing and burning himself on the pot he was stirring instead.
Leo giggled as the goat man shook the pain from his hand.
"Why are your ears so different? I don't have ears," Leo said.
"You do have ears," Draxum gritted out, forcing himself to stand straight as the only useful one of O'Neil's friends—the ex-cultist—gave him a bowl of water to put his hand in. "They are just internal, while ours are external. I am a bovidae yokai."
Leo tilted his head.
"What's that mean?"
"Bovidae or yok—?'
"You use big words like Donnie. Do you know Donnie?"
"I am aware—"
"Donnie's my twin brother. His favorite color is purple, and guess what?"
"No."
"Yesterday, Donnie was playing with his blocks, and I accidentally knocked them over."
"...You are not actually—"
"Then—and then, listen. Then Raph, do you know Raph?"
"Please, I do not—"
"You know Raph, right? He's my biggest bro, and Mikey's our baby bro because he's little. Did you know I have three brothers and a dad?"
Draxum narrowed his eyes, seeing if the tot would interrupt him again. Leo only blinked and waited for his reply.
"...well, I know—"
"And do you know my favorite show?" Leo asked. Draxum groaned.
"I do not care—!"
"I like Jupiter Jim. I watched all the movies and all the shows, but I—I still am reading the comic books. It's hard."
"It is not hard. You have just not developed to that level yet."
Leo pouted angrily.
"It is hard!" he insisted, "Even though I'm a big boy! Even big boys have stuff that is diff-e-cut too."
"’Difficult," Draxum corrected him, "Referring to yourself as a 'big boy' is a term only used by children; therefore, you have proved my—"
"You're dumb!" Leo shouted with tears in his eyes.
Draxum's brows furrowed, frustrated.
"I am not dumb! I am Baron Draxum—!" Draxum's eyes went to Splinter's scowling face. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of the random hallmark card nonsense Mikey constantly spouted around him. "I am sure you find it hard to understand—"
"Stop talking like that!" Leo shouted, "I'm not dumb! You're dumb!"
"I didn't say—"
"Barry, stop arguing with him. He's a kid."
Draxum looked at April, gesturing at the repulsive tiny lifeform in front of him, who was obviously at fault.
"Me?! He's the one—ELP!"
Draxum's face turned an alarming shade of pink as Leo bit down on the hand waving in his face.
"ARGGGGH!"
The sheep yokai rammed his shoulder into the shelf behind him, where a vase slid off and broke on his head, some of the shards falling into the cauldron. The brew in the cauldron flashed and changed color. Now disoriented and still in pain, Draxum knocked into the cauldron beside him. It wobbled dangerously, drawing the eyes of all the room's inhabitants.
"Barry, stop flailing around!" April yelled.
"Watch out!" Sunita yelled.
Sunita hopped onto the couch as Draxum tried to steady himself with the shelf, Leo still chomping down on his hand. With a wild shake of Draxum's hand, Sunita watched as Leo lost his hold on the sheep and was tossed back into the air—
"Blue!" Splinter shouted.
—and into the cauldron.
"OMIGOSH!" Sunita exclaimed.
"Turtle stew," Cassandra muttered under her breath. Sunita shot her a glare as the rest of the room panicked. "I didn't mean to say that out loud."
"BARRY! GET HIM OUT!" April yelled. She and Splinter grabbed Draxum's clothes, tugging urgently on them.
"I would already have him out if you both stopped clinging to me!" Draxum said.
"Just take him out, dude! He's boiling, he's burning!" Splinter wailed, refusing to stop pulling on Draxum's clothes as he cried.
Draxum stuck the large fishing net (that he kept in his apartment, evidently) into the murky, purple liquid and swirled it around, muttering strong curses.
"Aha!" Draxum whipped the net out and over his head. Something green was in it, but it was much too small to be the child who had fallen in. The room became quiet as the net was plopped onto the countertop, and they all stared at Barry's catch.
Said catch—a tiny baby turtle, small enough to fit in the palm of a hand—stuck his head out of his shell. He looked up at them, eyes wide and curious, and then sneezed.
April slumped over, muttering 'no's' as she curled in on herself. Splinter groaned and covered his face with his hands. Cassandra pulled herself a chair and poked at the small creature with cautious interest. Sunita leaned over her shoulder and snapped a photo with her phone. Draxum massaged his forehead as Leo began giggling at Cassandra's pokes.
"It's like whatever I do… is just a joke to the forces that be," he sighed.
"On the bright side," Sunita mused, "He seems completely unharmed! Not a burn on the little guy. And look how cute he is, ohohoho, yes, you are. You are so cute, yes!"
A pleased little cry came from the tiny red slider on the counter as if to say, 'Yes, I am!' Leo flipped himself over and wiggled his limbs, trying to catch Cassandra's finger in his tiny hands so he could stick it in his mouth. Cassandra narrowed her eyes at the baby's actions. She gave him another darting poke, drawing her hand away as Leo burst into giggles, rocking helplessly side to side.
Sunita's finger rapidly tapped on her phone, furiously taking pictures as she moved around the table, stepping over April and Splinter's bodies like they weren't even there.
"So cute! So very cute~" she cooed.
"An infant." Cassandra narrowed her eyes, rolling the word over her tongue like she was identifying a foreign substance. Leo's eyes were drawn away from watching Sunita's antics to meet her eyes. He tilted his head curiously and then beamed. Cassandra blinked. She coughed into her fist, leaned back in her chair, and crossed her arms. She nodded to herself as she made her decision. "I would like several."
"Yeah? You want to be a mom one day?" Sunita asked as she cooed over Leo and tried to get him to crawl into her hands. Cassandra looked thoughtfully at the chirping baby and nodded to herself. She nodded again with more confidence and planted her foot on the table, raising a fist into the air.
"I will raise them into fine WARRIORS! They shall inherit my clan and RULE THE WORLD!"
"Every parent wants their child to have the world," Sunita hummed agreeably as Leo gave a tiny war cry and batted at her hands. "What do you think, April? Do you want kids?"
Sunita glanced under the table to look at her friend. April's head turned to Sunita, showing off her whited-out eyes and her open mouth, emitting what suspiciously looked like her soul leaving her body.
"The earth shall KNEEL before them! WORSHIPPING THEIR—!" Cassandra was shouting.
"Hmm, you look a little pale… both of you," Sunita said.
She gave Splinter a tiny poke, but the rat kept muttering to himself. Sunita caught the words 'silly clock exercises' and 'never going to see the ice tray lady again' before Draxum sighed and pulled her away.
"Leave them. They shall revive themselves in a moment. For now, we need to decide what to do next."
"—and only then! They will learn to FEAR OUR—!" Cassandra roared.
Sunita frowned. She glanced at where Cassandra seemed to be keeping Leo properly entertained—balanced precariously on a leaned chair, weapon held over her head, while the turtle hatchling watched from his place on the table with sparkly eyes—and nodded in agreement. Sunita interlocked her fingers and gripped them tightly, worry and guilt settling in now that her initial delight had faded.
"Can you turn him back?" she asked.
"I can," Draxum said.
"That's great—!"
Draxum held up a hand before her hope could rise too much, shaking his head.
"But I used up the necessary ingredients in that last batch."
Sunita dropped her hands, one to her hip and the other to tap on her chin."And I'm guessing it won't be so easy to get more?"
"—FEAST ON GLORY! UNTIL THERE—!" Cassandra roared.
"Correct."
"Oh, googlyschmootz," she cursed softly, casting a look at baby Leo, who had taken to clapping in delight, watching Cassandra walk around on her hands, still ranting. "What are our options?"
"—like this! AND THIS! None shall SUR—!" Cassandra continued.
"Either we embark on a quest through the wretched wastes on the outskirts of the Hidden City, making our way through the poisonous swamplands of Abbadon—" Draxum said.
Sunita nodded along, taking notes on a notepad with her tongue stuck out in concentration.
"—TASTE the sweet nectar of our VICTORY!" Cassandra roared.
"—toward the resplendent fields of Henry's lilies—" Draxum said.
"Oh, that doesn't sound too bad," Sunita said.
"—the treasures of the earth LAID BEFORE—!" Cassandra continued.
"—to the lava falls of judgment, climb up the deathly cold mountains of the Midnight Mare, scale the cliffs of Calamity—" Draxum said.
Cassandra jumped on the table, planted her foot on the top of a chair she had put on the countertop, and raised her hands, upon which Leo sat with gleaming eyes.
"—TO CERTAIN DOOM!" Cassandra said, accidentally finishing Draxum’s sentence.
Leo lifted his arms and yelled as Cassandra erupted into full-body cackles, holding the turtle aloft all the while.
"Yes, to ‘certain doom.’ That sums it up," Draxum shrugged, turning his attention off the duo and back to Sunita.
Sunita looked dubiously down at her doodled map. Notes saying 'sunscreen???' and 'ask mom for allergy medicine' and a poorly drawn doodle of baby Leo playing peekaboo under a flower annotated its margins. She added a couple hearts around the image of baby Leo and then glanced up at Draxum, who was waiting patiently for her to finish her notes.
"Uh…huh…" she said, frowning at her notepad, "and how long would it take us to do all that?"
"Hmm," Draxum crossed his arms and looked thoughtfully at the floor, "I'd say… at least two hours."
April shot up from beneath the table and slammed her hands down on the counter, startling Draxum, Cassandra, Sunita, and Leo, who all leaned away from her crazed eyes.
"We don't have that kind of time!" April hissed.
"April is right!" Splinter jumped onto the countertop and started pacing. Cassandra obediently hopped down from the table with Leo and her chair to allow him space. April hopped up to pace as well.
The four individuals left on the side tracked their movement back and forth, heads turning in sync. "It has already been an hour! Forget about good parking! If we do not figure this out soon, I will miss the entire event, and Purple will have all our heads!"
"I can't last a day without my phone! And if Mom finds out about this—which she will because Donnie's a snitch, and he'll find a way to tattle on me anonymously—I am so grounded! For life!" April groaned.
Left and right, left and right… Baby Leo put his hands over his eyes and made a little whine, dizzy.
"Can't you just order what you need online, Barry?!"
Draxum leaned away from April's pointed finger and coughed into his fist.
"I could, but normal delivery will take at least three days."
"What? Do they not have the same-day delivery options?" Splinter asked. Draxum scoffed.
"Sure, if you want to pay the prime membership fee. I live off a lunch lady's salary."
April and Splinter rolled back on their heels and crossed their arms, raising their brows in tandem.
"You need a membership to get same-day delivery?"
"For real?" April added.
"No, but it's either $9.99 monthly or $20 now for a single package."
"Man, that's highway robbery. For what? What do you even need?"
"About five grams of a mystic herb. The delivery would cost more than the item itself. It's criminal."
Everyone in the room murmured discontent. Even baby Leo made a face. Cassandra was the exception, muttering, 'Great idea,' clicking a pen and making a quick note to herself.
April surmised, "So it's either we cough up the money or nearly get ourselves iced for five grams of magic lavender."
"Well, there's one more option."
"And I'm not going to like it," April guessed.
"The purple one has some of what I require stocked."
Splinter plopped down to sit on the table and groaned, patting his tired knees.
"Oh, I don't like this option either. Why are all your options so baloney, dude?" Splinter huffed.
"Great. Just fantastic. All we need to do is grab whatever Barry needs right under Donnie's nose, without him finding out. Get the tank, drop us off at the arena, Splinter goes to his event, Leo and Donnie wake up none the wiser in the morning and do their weird stuff, and boom! Everyone's happy!" April's eye twitched a little.
Leo clapped joyfully and made grabby hands. Cassandra lifted him above her head and cooed.
"Someone's taking pain in another's suffering! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!" Cassandra bounced the baby in her hands as they began trudging out of Draxum's apartment. "Isn't the angry lady's face funny? Yes, it is. I know!"
They stopped, waiting for Draxum to lock his door, and Cassandra turned to Sunita."Am I doing this right?"
Sunita tilted her head, looking between the ex-Foot clan recruit and the de-aged ninja turtle in her palms. "What? Baby talk? I think so."
"Hmm. Good. Gaining proficiency now will be beneficial to me in the future." Leo nodded in agreement with Cassandra's words. However, it was anyone's guess if he understood what they were saying or was pretending to be part of their discussion. "Are you also training for motherhood?"
"Me?" Sunita's face scrunched at the thought as they filed into the elevator. Leo bounced up and down to the elevator music, seeming content to amuse himself as they chatted. "Well, I like kids, but I've always been more of the go-getter type. I need to spend more time on myself before I even consider having one. You know? Even then, I'm not sure I want to be a mother."
"A worthy aim regardless," Cassandra nodded approvingly.
Sunita clapped her hands and turned to the other with sparkling eyes.
"I think you'd be a great mother, though!"
Cassandra's face revealed a bit of insecurity as she glanced at the little life cupped in her hands and returned Sunita's smile unsurely.
"You think so?"
"Uh, totally! You'd be the best mom, Cassandra! You're so dedicated and passionate about everything and intent, y'know? You'd teach your kid self-confidence and determination—I bet they'd be the absolute sweetest!"
"Wah!" Leo cried out as if agreeing, patting Cassandra's hand as if to support her.
Cassandra cleared her throat, the slightest blush on her face as she smirked.
"My friends call me Casey."
The back of Draxum's head thumped against the elevator wall as the girls continued their incessant chatter, and O'Neil and Lou Jitsu got lost in their own dark delusions. The faster they turned the blue one back into a teenager, the quicker he could get away from these brain-numbing fools and their revolting, tooth-rotting conversations. Draxum could hardly wait.