Chapter Text
It was just past ten when the Rock-afire began their journey.
"I can't believe my parents are lettin' me do this!" Mitzi exclaimed, setting her overnight bag down beside Dook and the other bags. "I've rarely left Florida."
"And now we're gonna see Dingo!" Dook added. "…Or, The Wolf Pack 5. They must've seen this as a great operatunity for you."
Mitzi giggled at Dook's pronunciation. "I guess they did!"
Fatz scratched his head, walking along the sidewalk while asking, "Where did Beach Bear run off to? He better not have gone without-"
*BEEP BEEP!*
Startled, Fatz's hand dropped to his side. He, Dook and Mitzi looked to the left, seeing a light blue VW surfer bus drive past the strip mall. Judging by its faded, chipped paint, it had certainly seen better days! It sputtered to a stop in front of Showbiz.
Beach Bear hopped out of the van. "Ta daaa!" he sang, grandly gesturing as Dook ran up to him.
"Wow, this thing's a beaut, Beach Bear!" he said.
Beach Bear gave a proud smile. "The only good thing about divorce."
Fatz frowned. "Does this van, er… run?"
"Of course it runs! Do you need your glasses?"
"All I'm sayin' is that thing jerked an' sputtered so much that I thought it would run outta gas right then and there!"
Beach Bear waved a paw while saying, "Pfft, it's fine. It just needs a little bit of tender love and lots and lots of care."
"I just wouldn't want anythin' to happen to it during our journey. Colander Night doesn't wait for a flat tire."
Rolfe scoffed loudly.
"Rolfe! Help us put the bags in." Fatz ordered.
Before the wolf could protest, Earl yanked him towards the bag pile!
Mitzi giggled as he yelped. She handed her bag to him while saying, "Thanks for lending your puppet to us, Earl."
Earl snickered.
"Oh, shut- eeep!" Rolfe squeaked as he was whisked away.
Just as the last bags were being set in the back of the van, Showbiz's front door swung open. Billy Bob hummed Baseball while taping a piece of paper to the door. It said 'Closed for maintenance. See y'all on Wednesday!' in Sharpie.
"People are going to be awfully suspicious of that." Rolfe remarked.
"Like how you're awfully suspicious every day!" Earl told him.
Before they could get into some big argument, Fatz called, "Let's get rollin' folks! We don't have a minute to spare."
Billy Bob hurried into the van, causing it to sway back and forth like an ocean wave. Rolfe, however, stayed behind.
"That includes you, Rolfe. Unfortunately."
Earl started to pull away, but Rolfe grabbed him.
"I can walk perfectly fine, thank you very much!" he said.
He started walking forward, but Earl jerked him! A few steps here, a hard tug there… The rest of the band laughed as they watched through the windows! Rolfe had Earl's mouth grip the side of the door so he could hoist himself into the van.
"Bleh!" Earl exclaimed. "Tastes like twenty year old board shorts."
The microbus had room for eight people (or animals!). Fatz was squeezed into the driver's seat, Billy Bob by his side. Mitzi, Dook and Beach Bear sat in the middle row while Rolfe (sitting across the entire bench) and Earl occupied the back row. Looney Bird- whose barrel was bungeed to the bench's metal bar- watched over the bags in the back.
"It feels like we're in the ocean." Mitzi said, touching the edge of her pale teal seat.
"I'd rather be there than here!" Rolfe grumbled.
"Watch it back there," Fatz said. "Let's fire this thing up and get movin'!"
Looney Bird was the only one who could really hear the engine. "It's all cranked up!" he declared.
"Wow, that thing's quieter than a mouse!" Dook remarked.
"Quieter than Miss Loudmouth over here." Beach Bear added, thumbing at Mitzi.
"Hey!" she exclaimed with a cross of her arms, causing him to laugh. "You're one to talk."
As the van drove past Woolco, Billy Bob rolled the window down and poked his head out to shout, "Bye bye, Showbiz!"
He leaned back in his seat, watching the familiar places of Atlantic Boulevard go by. Then he switched on the radio… which was just muffled static!
"This is the strangest song I've ever heard." he remarked.
"Oh, you just gotta give it a good whack." Beach Bear said while leaning over.
He punched the radio, which didn't run. He muttered, "Come on…" while trying again. A third time created little sparks! Mitzi squeaked fearfully at the sound, relaxing at the sound of an electric guitar sounding through the speakers.
"There ya go!" Beach Bear sat back in his seat. "Works like a charm."
"Hey, turn it to 99.9." Mitzi told Billy Bob.
The station played all sorts of trending hits as the van drove down the freeway. Mitzi belted out Billie Jean while Fatz' smooth voice led Down Under. Beach Bear sang,
Straddle the line, in discord and rhyme
I'm on the hunt, I'm after you
Mouth is alive, with juices like wine
And I'm hungry like the Rolfe!
Mitzi and Dook burst out laughing while Fatz chuckled and Billy Bob giggled.
"Oh, shut up!" Rolfe exclaimed.
"Seriously, can you grab that Cheetos in the cooler back there?"
Rolfe groaned and fished through one of the coolers on the floor. Earl grabbed a Cheetos bag, moved up beside Beach Bear…
"Hey!" the bear exclaimed as he was smacked with the bag.
"It'll quit your discordin'!" Earl said.
Beach Bear rolled his eyes before ripping the bag open. He licked his lips while taking two Cheetos between his claws.
"We have more discord to worry about… Cheeto dust!" Mitzi exclaimed.
She squealed as Beach Bear's claws neared her hair.
"Pipe down back there!" Fatz said. "I don't want anyone fallin' out the window because of some cheetah."
Beach Bear laughed as Mitzi grumbled, "Not funny."
"Just like this trip!" Rolfe muttered.
…
An hour and a half later, Mitzi said, "Alright, Dook, this song is the state we're gonna be in real soon. You gotta guess what it is."
"I'm good at guessin'." Dook said.
"Okay, here goes."
Mitzi cleared her throat before singing,
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you
Georgia…
Oh Georgia… no peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia… on my miiiind…
"Uh… Cleveland!"
Mitzi, Billy Bob, Beach Bear and Fatz chuckled.
"Was I right?" Dook asked.
"Close, Dook." Fatz said, cracking a smile.
Billy Bob giggled. "You'll have to brush up on your geometry, Dook!"
The 'Welcome to Florida' sign across the freeway was seen for a split second before the van drove past it. Then the blue 'Welcome to Georgia' sign came into view.
"We're really doin' this," Dook said softly. "We're really seein' the Wolf Pack 5!"
His tail thumped against the leather seat.
"Oh, will you quiet down up there?" Rolfe asked.
"Hey, how do you kick a seat behind you?" Beach Bear wondered, causing Mitzi to giggle.
…
WNFI's signal was nothing but fuzzy static in Georgia. While Fatz and Billy Bob explored the state's radio stations, Beach Bear, Dook and Mitzi worked on games for The Colander Gazette.
"Pizza… goes to mouth… and fly swatter… goes to fly!" Dook said, drawing a line from one row of doodles to the next.
"I thought foot goes to pizza." Beach Bear remarked, snickering when Mitzi exclaimed, "Ewww, that's disgustin', Beach Bear! You don't step on pizza."
"Unless it's from Pizza Time Theater." Fatz quipped.
"Ohhh!" everyone exclaimed with laughs.
"Nice one, Fatz! High five!" Beach Bear exclaimed, raising his arm. "Oh, wait, I gotta go up there."
"Beach Bear, I'm drivin'. Give me a high five in a few hours."
"That joke's awfully funny, Fatz," Billy Bob said. "Although I wouldn't want to have bad blood with our competitor. There's enough room in the world for everyone to have pizza!"
"I heard the animatronics they got in their stores don't have legs," Earle said. "So they can't run away at the sound of Chuck's whiney voice!"
Everyone laughed.
"The bird they got there is really annoying," Looney Bird said. "All she does is cluck like this, 'Ba-cock!' Buck, buck, buck, ba-cock!"
Rolfe frowned. "Are you sure you're not the bird?"
"No, her name's Helen. Helen Reddy! …Wait, no, that's a lady."
"I think the cowgirl's kinda cute." Dook said softly.
"Well, I think Charles Entertainment Cheese is a big fool," Rolfe said snidely. "Three and a half years ago, he hired the amazing Sally Sashay to do a show. And what did he do? Make a big stink about her!"
"Literally!" Earl added.
"He didn't even give her disco songs a chance! All she got was one lousy showtape. Yet that pig is doing her fourth round," Rolfe crossed his arms. "Arrogant jerk."
Earl's voice was muffled before Rolfe let him say, "You're one to talk!"
Mitzi called over Rolfe and Earl's discordant voices. "Let's get back to the game, guys! We still have most of the page to fill."
Beach Bear sat back, handing the clipboard to whoever grabbed it first.
"Oh, I got one! Lo… dancer." Mitzi wrote on the page.
"I got one, too. Or, I got two, too. Somethin' like that," Dook took the pencil from her. "Zaft. Sounds real spacey, doesn't it?"
"It sure does," Rolfe agreed. "Highly ridiculous!"
"I meant like using it for a spacecraft."
Fatz chuckled. "Sounds more like you're usin' it for me!"
"Me next!" Beach Bear snatched the pencil. "Nedadswey!"
"Sounds like some far off country!" Mitzi said. "Hello, I'm from southern Nedadswey!"
"Is this mom's way home? Nedadswey! You know, like 'no, dad's way'," Beach Bear sighed. "I never get to see Dad anymore."
"This'll make you smile," Dook said. "Beeggrad that we're goin' on this adventure!"
"Ha! Nice one, Dook," Beach Bear wrote down the word and took a few moments to figure it out. "Wait, what does this one have to do with Colander Night?"
"Mitzi, you got one more?" Dook asked her.
Mitzi tapped the pencil on her chin. "Um… Oh, yeah!" She wrote the last word and asked, "Billy Bob, can you unscramble this one?"
"Sure, Mitzi!" Billy Bob took the paper. "Boshwiz… Hmm, that's a hard one."
Mitzi hid a giggle behind her hand as Billy Bob set a clawed finger on his chin, pretending to think hard.
"This one's a real stumper," Billy Bob snapped his claws. "Oh! I think I got it! Showbiz!"
"Yeah!" Mitzi confirmed. "I think the kids will love that one."
"I got a word for you to unscramble," Earl said. "Equibet!"