Chapter Text
“Magnus!” Alec shouted as his ran towards the warlock, arm outstretched. Magnus had his arms extended just out of reach, his eyes wide and dilated and his mouth outstretched to scream as he fell backwards into the floating white-gold mass of the portal.
“Magnus! No!” the shadowhunter shrieked again, the tips of his fingers gently brushed against Magnus’ before the waves consumed him and the portal snapped shut. The gust of the portal closing was so powerful that the blast flung Alec back and slammed him against a concrete wall. His body made a hideous snapping noise as fire zipped through every nerve in his body, tearing him away from consciousness.
Alec woke with a jolt, the nerves in his body all vibrating like plucked guitar strings. He looked around feverishly and delirious; he was back at the institute in the infirmary. When did he get here? The last thing he remembered was the battle….
What happened? He thought to himself, wincing and slowly lifting his legs to rest them on the edge of the bed. He sat there for several moments replaying everything in his head.
Magnus.
All of the blood rushed from Alec’s face as he remembered that Magnus had fallen into the portal. His heartbeat quickened, causing him to grip his chest. Alec struggled to breathe as he tried to push himself up off of the bed. The room began to spin and Alec stumbled, falling to the floor and taking a tray down with him.
“Alec!” he heard someone shout. A pair of strong hands began to lift him up and Alec attempted to balance himself on the weight of the person assisting him.
“What happened? Wha-what happened? Magnus?” words tumbled out of him desperately but was stopped by his inability to breathe steadily.
“Alec, calm down. I can’t tell you what’s going on if you don’t calm down, okay?” Alec sat back down on the bed, this time his parabatai’s eyes staring back into his. Jace had his hands on Alec’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort his brother as well as keep him from standing up again.
“Hey, remember those breathing exercises we worked on, right? Let’s do that.” Jace instructed. Alec nodded hastily and Jace released his brother’s shoulders and grabbed his hands. The two of them stayed in that position for several moments as Jace made steady, deep breaths and Alec attempted to mimic them, counting each breath out loud until Alec had finally calmed down.
“You good?” Jace finally asked, his voice demur and soft.
“Yeah,” Alec swallowed hard before continuing. “Yeah, I’m—I’m okay now. Thanks.”
Jace lifted up from the squatted position he had been in and took a seat on the bed parallel to Alec’s. Alec noticed that Jace was acting suspiciously gentle. He tried to ignore the thoughts that were beginning to flood his mind again as he tried to put together the pieces.
“Jace…what happened?” the shadowhunter blurted. Jace flinched slightly at the increase in volume at Alec’s demand, but took a deep breath and began to tell Alec everything.
“Magnus was trying to evacuate us from the fight. Too many demons,” his voice cracked, briefly interrupting the flow of what was clearly a scripted response.
“Izzy was yelling at Magnus to dodge a demon and he fell back into the portal. You were thrown back in the blast of the portal collapsing in on itself.” Jace avoided his brother’s eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, his hands shaking.
“Alec….Magnus is gone. We don’t know where he is.”
Alec’s eyes widening, panic flooding like tears. His jaw tenses and his teeth began to grit and he tried to hold in the devastation and anger boiling up inside him.
This can’t be right. They didn’t do enough, Magnus has to be saved! His mind screamed.
Jace placed a hand on Alec’s chest, stopping him from walking away. They were both standing now; Alec wasn’t sure when he had stood up or where he had planned to go, but white-hot rage had briefly overtaken him before his brother had knocked him back to reality.
“Don’t do anything stupid, I’m not finished.” Jace hissed quietly to his brother, as if he was trying to keep others from listening. Alec turned to look at his brother, his hazel eyes now more the color of dying grass than a rich marsh, as if finding out he was without Magnus was slowly beginning to erase all color from his world. Alec made a hard swallow and sat back down, resting his hands in his face in an attempt to soak in all that was being told to him. He felt the mattress dip as his parabatai sat next to him.
“They recovered a portal shard. The portal, according to the Seelies, is still partially there. No one can get in or out without magic opening it, but the risks are too dangerous.” Jace exhaled through his nostrils, stress glazing over his eyes.
“Jace…I don’t care how dangerous the risks are. We have to try and find him.”
“What the fuck do you mean I can’t go? I’m not taking anyone with me, this hurts no one!” Alec’s face was burning up, eyes wild with wrath as he gaped in disbelief at his mother.
“Alec, since you’ve been recovering I have had to act as head of the Institute again and I’m telling you, you are not going through that portal. The Clave has it on lockdown until they can figure out how to dissolve it.” Maryse crossed her arms firmly in an attempt to end the discussion, but Alec wasn’t finished.
“Dissolve? Dissolve? You want to dissolve the portal while Magnus is still trapped there?” Alec’s voice was not only booming, but had raised several octaves. Despite his office door being firmly shut, he knew everyone within 100 feet could hear what was going on.
“Alec, it’s too dangerous. Even going alone, you would be hurting people.” Izzy gently responded, striding over to her brother and gently placing her hand on his arm. Alec shook her off and stepped backwards, his eyes burning with betrayal in her direction. Isabelle looked down, ashamed and hurt, and stepped back.
“The Seelies said there was a chance he was portaled to another dimension, there’s no other reason we’d have the shard. Plus, the shard is too small to fit, which means there’s another one out there somewhere!” Alec was huffing and puffing now, his chest fuming with fury, his ears so red they could have been mistaken for being soaked in blood.
“We never found—“ Maryse began, but was interrupted by Alec. She closed her eyes in frustration and exhaled through her nose.
“Then that means Magnus could have the other piece! Someone has to at least try!” Alec had never been this angry in his entire life. He was the head of the Institute, and his mother was telling him he couldn’t do something. “Listen, I am the head of this Institute—“
Maryse raised her voice. “You are not the head of this Institute, Alec. Not until The Clave approves you fit for duty again, and by your current behavior, you aren’t. If you’re going to lead you need to know the difference between being reckless and making hard decisions.” Alec smiled angrily, he was so shocked that he began to laugh. “That…that is hilarious, Maryse. I remember not that long ago your process to handle hard choices was to cut them out like a cancer—or did you forget you said that to me when Jace was kidnapped?” Isabelle and Maryse gawked at Alec, unable to concoct a response in Maryse’s defense. Alec raised his hands in defeat and dropped them, slapping his thighs.
“You know what…? I’m over this, We’re done with this conversation.” Alec turned away from his mother and sister to exit the room, slamming the thick mahogany door behind him.