Chapter Text
“Namjoon-ah!”
“Yes, hyung?”
“You should organize these”, he huffed, throwing a stuck of dossiers on his deck. “Can you do that by 8:00?”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“You could be too distracted” he whispered lasciviously, sitting on his lap.
Namjoon quivered lightly, his body already reacting against his will. “I’ll be for sure, if you keep doing this”
“This lack of self-control is not a good sign, you know? It doesn’t suit a powerful person like you, you should have the situation under control”
“And you should stop teasing me”
“As if you mind”, Seokjin replied, stopping at the door before leaving. “I’ll give you an extra half-hour, only because it’s you. Half past eight, in my office – don’t be late”
“I won’t”, Namjoon smiled, winking at him. He rested himself against the chair, hands on his head, and wondered what he did to deserve all the good things he had. He was only twenty-three but he had an entire company –inherited from his father- at his feet, employees that respected him, a family that supported him and enough money to buy whatever he wanted.
Then there was Seokjin: stunning, confident and equally powerful. He was the son of a family friend (of whom Namjoon barely knew the name) and he was transferred after a deal between the two companies, because their parents believed it would have been economically profitable to combine them into one business. And Seokjin didn’t really like it, not at all: he was the chief of a staff made by thirty people, and now he had to be a intern for that kid. He tried to protest with his father, they even argued about it, but there was nothing he could do: they were at the same level, but Namjoon was the CEO there so he had to follow his rules.
Which he didn’t, because no one could boss Kim Seokjin around.
He went his own way since the first moment but Namjoon didn’t say a word, and that only made him more angry. How could Namjoon not care about him, almost ignoring him? How could he let him to disturb the balance the others found during those years? Seokjin couldn’t find a explanation to it so, after weeks, he decided to talk to him.
It happened on a Sunday morning, in the empty offices; he knew he would have found him there, he heard him the night before rambling about a project he had to finish before Monday. Entering the room, he found him with his glasses on and a cup of coffee near him, trying to not fall asleep on the papers scattered in front of him. Maybe it was his unbuttoned shirt or the way Namjoon was chewing on the pencil, maybe it was because of his hormones or a blow to the head he didn’t realize, but something clicked in Seokjin’s mind. He never really had the chance to look at Namjoon, always focused on his work; but now, he didn’t see an annoying guy anymore, there was something more.
“Oh, Seokjin-ssi!” he greeted him, noticing him. “It’s your free day, what are you doing here?”
Seokjin forced himself to push away those thoughts. “I need to talk to you”
“Have a seat”, Namjoon invited him, gesturing at the chair.
“You’re the chief here, right?”
“I am”
“So why do you let me doing whatever I want? Does your father know you are so permissive with your staff?”
Namjoon laughed. “That’s what you wanted, didn't you? You can’t stand taking orders from others, I noticed it as soon as you arrived here”
“So what are you going to do?”
“Nothing” he shrugged. “Even if your attitude is bad, you’re good and precise and there aren’t mistakes in your works. Why should I impose something to you when you clearly wouldn’t accept it?”
“Are you serious?”
“You can always change company, if you’re not happy here. With your face, I don’t think it would be hard for you”
What was that, a terrible attempt to flirt with him? Seokjin rolled his eyes.
“I don’t like you, you know this, right? Just because our parents are friends, it doesn’t mean we have to get along”
“I would never force you!”, Namjoon huffed, shooting a dirty look to him. “I don’t know why you hate me so much but, for the record, I feel the same about you”
Seokjin stared him, he couldn’t believe his own ears – not only Namjoon said he had a bad attitude, he also spoke at him in that tone.
“Yah, who do you think you’re talking to!?"
“You’re too sensitive, hyung” he replied. “Are you so egocentric to think everyone loves you?”
Then, it all happened too quickly: Seokjin got up, Namjoon looked at him with an arrogant smile and the second after they were kissing. Without reasons nor feelings, they had sex in the office – cliché, Seokjin thought, it looked like one of those romantic comedies in which the secretary falls in love with the boss. Except Seokjin wasn’t a secretary and he didn’t feel anything toward Namjoon.
But the sex was great, he had to admit it, and the physical attraction between them was so strong they couldn’t help but do it again.
Namjoon was confused at first, because he wasn’t the kind of guy to have a “friends with benefits” sort of thing. He thought it was shallow and dangerous and he swore to himself to not get in such situation: he had friends and someone to have sex with, but he didn’t want to mix them. He couldn’t be friend with someone, having sex with them but not being able to progress on an emotional level; it was something he couldn’t comprehend.
With Seokjin, though, it was different: they were colleagues, they respected each other professionally speaking, but apart from it, there wasn’t anything else. Even if their relationship became a bit more civilized after that first time, they didn’t go beyond a greeting when they arrived at the office, a few words during the lunch break and sometimes a smile. The friendship was the missing part, so Namjoon ignored his own morals, convinced he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Seokjin and him were nothing, just colleagues that sometimes made a favour to each other, relieving their stress in a merely physical way. No feelings, no teenage crushes, no boring relationships – it was just sex. It had been months, since the first time.
Namjoon got up, looking at the clock on the wall: 7:59 – he smiled, he finished earlier than he expected. He stretched, putting his phone in the pocket and locking the door.
He arrived in front of Seokjin’s office and knocked, waiting for a response, but instead Seokjin came out.
“Uh?”, Namjoon muttered, looking at him wearing his jacket and taking his bag. “Are you leaving?”
“We are leaving, Namjoon”, he replied.
“But- I thought we would have stayed here”
“I never said it”
“Then where?”
“My place”, he smiled casually. “Are you coming?”
Namjoon rolled his eyes, he couldn’t reject that offer. “You’re always full of surprises, hyung”
Seokjin walked past him without a word, but Namjoon saw the grin on his face.
The journey was pretty silent, only interrupted here and there by Seokjin’s singing – Namjoon was looking outside the window and smiling.
They arrived in one of the richest neighborhood of Seoul –not that Namjoon had doubts- and Seokjin guided him to his apartment. Namjoon gasped, it was beautiful: the furniture was modern and minimal, but it was somehow warm, maybe thanks to the candles; the walls were full of paintings and photographs; the light chaos made the rooms more lived.
“Jin, it’s awesome!”
“Nothing special, it was my father’s present” he minimized, throwing his coat on the couch. “But I didn’t bring you here to look at the artworks, so don’t be too charmed by them”
“You’re asking too much, hyung, I can’t do it when you’re standing there looking like art”, Namjoon winked, earning a dirty look because of that cheesy line, before kissing him.
“That’s better”, Seokjin whispered, dragging him to the bedroom.
Namjoon laid beside him, panting and looking at the ceiling. There was nothing different from the others time, yet a strange feeling was making his stomach twisting, and it wasn’t because of the orgasm. There was something more, in the way they touched and loved each other.
“I’m getting cleaned up” he said after a while, leaving him alone.
Seokjin nodded before he sank in the sheets – he was feeling good. Namjoon always knew how to satisfy him and gaining his own well deserved pleasure; they knew each other so much, physically speaking, that they didn’t need to talk anymore, they perfectly knew about the other’s weak spots. It wasn’t the same for – well, for everything else: they didn’t knew anything about each other, only small and useless details. To be honest, Seokjin was a bit sad about it: despite everything, he thought Namjoon was an interesting guy. Maybe getting to know him and having a normal relationship wasn’t so absurd as he always thought.
The idea that came up to his mind the second after, though, was definitely crazy – but he spoke before he could stop himself and he couldn’t take it back.
“Namjoon?” he called him, throwing his dirty clothes in a corner and looking for something more comfortable to wear. “We could have dinner together this weekend. What do you think?”
He heard the sound of the water in the sink and a thud, then Namjoon came out from the bathroom, his elbow flushed (Seokjin was pretty sure he bumped it against something) and an amazed look on his face.
“W-What did you say, hyung?”
-----------
In the end, they really went out to dinner.
Namjoon wasn’t sure, but Seokjin managed to persuade him – after all, he had the power in that sort of relationship.
Seokjin didn’t know why he asked him out, he didn’t like Namjoon – he started to consider him almost as a friend, someone he cared about somehow, but he wasn’t flirting with him and that was not a date. Though a dinner in one of the more exclusive restaurants of the city could give the opposite idea. Totally opposite.
He shook his head: Namjoon and him were colleagues and fuck buddies, nothing more, that wasn’t a romantic rendez-vous and he wasn’t going to crush on him that night.
The fact that Namjoon was beautiful didn’t help, though – not that normally he was ugly, but Seokjin never saw him so elegant, it looked like he dressed up on purpose.
Get a hold of yourself, Kim Seokjin, you sound like a teenager!
Trying not to think about the way the outfit perfectly suited Namjoon’s body, they went inside and sat at the table- which, of course, was reserved, because Seokjin always did things in the best way he could. That’s why they had expensive dishes, wine and a personal waiter – okay, Seokjin had to admit that they totally looked like a couple celebrating their anniversary.
“You treat yourself well, hyung”, Namjoon muttered, all that luxury was too much even to him.
“I grew up like this, but don’t think I’m picky, I accept everything when it’s about food!”
“Even the bar at the corner?”
“Even the bar at the corner”. Seokjin confirmed.
“Well, next time we can go to that small diner who sells street food. Are you in?”
The oldest nodded. “If there will be a next time” he added then.
Namjoon blushed, realizing he asked him out. He focused on the food, trying not to make a fool of himself.
Despite everything, they found out that it was really easy to talk and they spent the rest of the dinner chatting as if they knew each other since ages, and they were both surprised by the amount of stuff they had in common. And, as soon as the dinner came to an end, Namjoon invited Seokjin to his place- not to have sex, surprisingly, but to play videogames. Someone would have called him childish, but Seokjin nodded enthusiastically, starting to ramble about how he spent most of his childhood in front of the console. It was hard, because Seokjin was damn good, but Namjoon could have sworn he never had so much fun – not since he took over the company, at least, and adult life got the best on him.
They felt good, until Seokjin started to use that sarcastic and condescending tone again.
“You know, Namjoon, you’re not so bad”
“Of course I’m not, I just won!”
Seokjin rolled his eyes. “No, I mean, as a person”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, you know what I used to think about you”
Namjoon crossed his arms, staring at him. “I was starting to like you, Jin, why do you dredge up the past?”
“I know you didn’t appreciate me, too, don’t lie”
“Yes but-“
Seokjin shushed him with a kiss. “I just wanted to tease you, you’re cute when you’re angry. Don’t think too much about it, please”
Namjoon didn’t say anything, that day had already been too strange and he was too tired to trying to find a meaning beyond his words. “See you at the office, tomorrow?”
“I have an offer”
“Go ahead”
“Breakfast together? At the bar at the corner”
“So you weren’t joking”, Namjoon smiled shaking his head. “You’re not so picky as it seems”
“You should trust me, Joonie, I really don’t get why you are so skeptical”
“And you shouldn’t be so touchy, hyung”, he pushed him toward the door, it was getting late. “See you tomorrow, be on time”
Seokjin laughed before leaving the apartment – yes, he was feeling good. Way too good.
In the next weeks, it got worse (though he wasn’t sure that was the right word): between work, brunches and playing videogames together, Seokjin was spending most of his time with Namjoon.
There wouldn’t have been anything wrong about it, except he wasn’t totally comfortable – as much as he enjoyed Namjoon’s company, the voice in his head kept telling him to take a step back; that he didn’t need to get too involved, that they should have been only friends, because it would have been the end if one of them got attached.
And the end inevitably came, on a cold February night. They decided to watch a movie at the oldest’s house, covers up to their nose, a bowl of popcorns to share and a silly comedy on tv.
Seokjin, at some point, had the most banal and terrifying revelation: he wasn’t paying attention. He wasn't watching the movie at all, focusing instead on the way Namjoon’s face brightened up when he laughed because of a stupid joke or the way their hands unintentionally touched when they tried to grab as much popcorns as they could; he didn’t care where they were, what the actors on the screen were saying, the fact he was going to fall asleep at work next morning: he was with Namjoon, and that was enough.
It had been scaring realizing he had fallen in love, and the voice showed up again mocking him, told you. He initially tried to shut it off, but then he gave up: he really liked Namjoon. He couldn’t tell when and how things started to change between them, it just happened – one day they were colleagues that could barely stand each other, then they were having sex and the day after they became friends. It was new and intimidating, he wasn’t sure he knew how to deal with it.
More days flew by and, between an unsure attempt to make him understand what he was feeling and a sarcastic joke to hide his insecurity, nothing seemed to change. They kept going out, having fun, sex, but it looked like Namjoon wasn’t suspecting anything – Seokjin didn’t know whether he had to be relieved or disappointed.
He came to a conclusion: he had to talk with someone about it, or he would have gone crazy. And so he did on an early morning, during breakfast.
“I have a problem” he started, making his dad taking his eyes off the newspaper.
“You didn’t make the company fail, did you?”
“No, no, nothing like that” he reassured him shaking his head. “I like someone”
“Oh, finally!”, the man exclaimed, smiling. “How is she? Is she pretty?”
Seokjin blushed. “Well, dad, the point is that-“
“I hope it’s not Woojin-ah’s daughter! She’s always been spoiled and unbearable, I would never forgive you”
“Namjoon” he confessed before his dad could say anything else. “I fell in love with Namjoon”
“”And where’s the- wait, what? That Namjoon?”
Seokjin nodded, too embarrassed to say anything.
“Does he know?”
“No, I was too scared to confess”
“Why!?”
“It’s not easy, dad! I can’t simply go and tell him I love him!”
The man smiled. “You really know nothing about this stuff”
And that’s how, a few hours and a lot of talking later, Seokjin was standing in front of the building where Namjoon lived, all dressed up and holding a bag of food in his hand.
He wasn’t really sure it would have worked, his father’s advice sounded a bit absurd (“surprise is the best weapon you have, he won’t reject you”) but it was also the only one he received and, after all, he never confessed to anyone, so he accepted it as it was.
He lingered on the building’s door, unsure – he was there, but the idea of confessing everything to Namjoon was scaring him to death, he didn’t know how he’d react. In the past months, despite his endless attempts, Namjoon didn’t get any of his hints, and they stayed in that obnoxious limbo that didn’t evolve in anything concrete; they even stopped to have sex, as if it was something wrong, but they couldn’t stop to meet and go out.
Seokjin hated that situation, it was something he couldn’t stand- half measures didn’t suit him, especially if they concerned friendship or love, and being in a deadlock was one of the worst feelings ever.
He took a deep breath, finally deciding to go in – there was no need to act like a scared kid, what would have Namjoon said, seeing him like that?
He took the stairs, hoping to have more time to calm down, but he almost ran, too nervous to wait. He arrived at the end exhausted, but the fatigue cleared his mind somehow and he was more than sure about what he had to do.
He walked in –they were so close that Namjoon gave him a spare key- and first thing he noticed were the lights on in the hallway and a pair of shoes he wasn’t able to recognize. Then he heard an unequivocal sound and, well, after all Namjoon was a man and had certain needs that he could satisfy by himself, if necessary. It definitely wasn’t the way Seokjin wanted to confess to him, but maybe it would have helped to defuse the tension.
He walked toward the bedroom, mentally repeating his speech, he wanted to make sure he didn’t forget anything.
He took another long breath, then he opened the door – and he froze. “N-Namjoonie?”