Chapter Text
Okay, the next bit is authored by myself, as I have an interest. Okay, so it's a bit... suggestive. Warning - sexy clarinet business ensues. (Jessamy Griffith)
-----
John Watson - Doctor, Soldier, Clarinetist
Sarah: You're, um, well you're a bit over-qualified.
Watson: I could always do with the money.
Sarah: Well we've got two on holiday this week and one's just left to have a baby. Might be a bit mundane for you.
Watson: Ah no, mundane is good sometimes. Mundane works.
Sarah: It says here you're a soldier.
Watson: And a doctor.
Sarah: Anything else you can do?
Watson: Learned the clarinet at school.
Sarah: Oh! I, I look forward to it.
What does this mean for our John Watson of BBC Sherlock fame, the only Watson (so far as I know) to have ever mentioned being able to play music?
He played in school.
This could mean anything from "I started as a kid, my mum made me," to "I was in band/orchestra in secondary school," on and possibly through the start of his uni career. He possibly gave it up when he started his med studies, or just let it slide. Maybe he quit as soon as he could so he could play rugby instead. Maybe he went to band camp, or was in a youth orchestra!
Think of the possibilities inherent there - youth orchestra...! Band CAMP!
So it all depends on your interpretation, John could one of the unfortunates who never wanted to play the clarinet - his mom made him, or perhaps he actually wanted to play trumpet but for some reason he couldn't. Perhaps his dad had an old clarinet he passed down. Perhaps the school already had enough trumpet players, so he didn't get much of a choice.
Or it could be that he was good, very good.
Why would playing the clarinet suit John Watson's character?
Consider the clarinet's role in a piece like John William's Star Wars theme - the trumpets carry the melody with some strong comparatively simple yet impressive sounding playing, while the violins and clarinets embellish with high, fast, difficult trills in counter melody. Why? The clarinetists have the chops for it - Williams gives the hard pieces to them because they can handle the shit he throws down.
Clarinets are also a staple in marching bands, and get the hard work because you don't get violins in marching bands. Why not? Lots of reasons, but marching bands work in all sorts of weather and the violin doesn't always respond well to changes in humidity, extreme temperatures. The clarinet is better suited for it, and as mentioned in the previous chapter, will often take the violin's music in certain music charters.
Yes, but I like to think of John as a BAMF!
That's fine, because as any swing, jazz, klezzmer or big band musician will tell you, clarinets does kick ass as a solo instrument. There is no reason John can't shine on his own terms.
Once upon a time in 221B Baker street...
The beginning of Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin is swoon-worthy. Sherlock feels the music as if a hand passed up his body as the sound climbs. John then swings effortlessly into a humorous klezmer piece, eyes crinkling at Sherlock in enjoyment. From there he swings into Begin the Beguine, a smooth-sounding big band piece, and then into the wistful longing of Copland's Clarinet Concerto.
Sherlock's eyes sting a little as John sways a little with the music, eyes closed. After all the pain John had been through with the war, to hear him play so... soulfully, as if he were telling the universe a small secret about being lonely sometimes... Sherlock swears John will not feel lonely again.
In short, the clarinet shines on its own, or it can be the steady rock of a group of musicians - both fit.
Are there any clarinet and violin duets?
As written? Very few. Most clarinetists have to transpose. So, say Sherlock has a duet for violin and piano. John would transpose the music to the clarinet's B flat to play.
Interested in threesomes - uh, I mean trios? There are more of these, involving violin, clarinet and some other instrument. If you like to think of the elder Holmes brother also playing an instrument, consider the piano for Mycroft. There is quite a good piece - Khachaturian Trio for Clarinet, violin and Piano - Youtube links below.
How Sexy is a Clarinet, or Clarinetist?
Most people will roll their eyes at this point. "It isn't,' they will say flatly, but considering the fandom, let's think about it. No, really.
Picture it:
Once more upon a time in Baker street...
You have an ex-Army doctor holding a clarinet case from his 'school days'. He has been spending a lot of time out of the flat lately. He wants to surprise Sherlock. He places it on the coffee table, and unlatches it. He muses, "I wonder if I still have the knack...?" He carefully lifts the pieces free of the velvet and lays them out in order. He picks up a tube of what looks like lip balm and uncaps it, rubbing the whiteish substance into the cork. Sherlock sniffs. Menthol?
"What's that?" he asks.
"Cork grease. Keeps it from getting dry and crumbly. Not lip balm, in case you wondered," answers John, and recaps the tube.
He smiles at his flatmate, who is lying on the sofa, bemused. "Sherlock," he asks casually, "Give me a countdown from three, won't you?" Sherlock sits up, dressing gown flopping, interest caught.
"Ready? Three, two, one... Go!"
John's hands fly, grabbing pieces and twisting them into place in three...two...one and done. John is holding an assembled clarinet.
(That, ladies and gents is competence, and a kink all on its own. Ever watch a service man slap a gun or rifle together and gotten hot under the collar? This is exactly the same deftness and surety of hand. Lest you doubt it can be done that fast - don't. I've seen it done many and many a time.)
John pulls out his box of reeds, selects one.
(Consider that tongue - it was made to lick a reed to moisten it up so it could be inserted into the ligature of the mouthpiece.)
John tightens it up, holds the clarinet up at a 45 degree angle, hands just so. He plays a few notes, re-adjusting the reed. He has to keep the reed moist while playing so it won't crack or chip.
(And isn't ligature one of the most sexy words you've ever heard concerning the clarinet? Or licking the reed.)
Sherlock has to lick his own lips, which have gotten dry.
(A bit of technique next. For our doctor-soldier, there is also the 'attack', both hard and soft. The tongue is held against the reed, and for the attack you pull it back slightly (more a release actually). For a soft attack, you do the equivalent of saying, "daa" or "Haa." For a sharper attack during the more staccato pieces, the clarinetist uses his tongue in a quick movement, as if he is saying, "Ta ta ta".)
John is a good soldier. He knows how to attack. Sherlock's eyes widen as John plays through Rose Etude N.4 from 32 Etudes.
(Consider the above techniques, and how it could be used on human anatomy both male and female. John Watson was reputed by Murray to be a very "dirty boy.")
You know how to blow, don't you?
In the previous chapter, we discussed embouchure - the mouth and muscles required to play well. The corners of the mouth need to be firm to have a good seal. The throat needs to have an 'open feeling'. The cheeks can't puff out, you need to have good mouth muscles to apply even pressure on the mouthpiece. Folks, this is R-rated stuff right here. To say John would be a good fluffer would be an understatement. Sorry to be crass.
Next - those hands. A little broad, well muscled fingers, deft surgeon's hands. He'd have been very good. First chair, or leader of a section. Good quick fingering is essential to being a good clarinetist.
Sherlock watches, mouth slightly open as John runs a few scales. John's fingering is perfect - he plays the chromatic scale like a boss, and you would never know there is a register break in the clarinet by his deft fingering. His fingers piston through the trills effortlessly.
(And of course, lungs - you need great lungs, to take a deep breath, be able to hold it, and then expel the air in a measure, even way.)
Sherlock is quite sure John can hold his breath a long, long time. His eyelids flutter at the thought, and he drops back on the sofa.
A clarinet has too many bits on it too be sexy.
This is true. But it's pretty, all back and silver.
As to the instrument itself - well, it doesn't lend itself to sensual swaying and gestures as much as the violin does. Of course, there are those who do like to see a good looking man place any kind of long cylindrical object in his mouth, of course.
Sherlock is swooning on the sofa now, arm over his eyes. He lifts his arm, and looks at John. "Are you any good at transposing? I'd like to play a... duet."
John nods. "Of course. Had to do that all the time in band." (Competence/intelligence/talent kink, anyone?)
"But before you ask something awkward, Sherlock, I'd like to show you something," John says casually. He drags a chair next to the sofa and sits on it. He carefully pulls off the bell (end) of the clarinet, and hands it to Sherlock. "Hold that a moment, won't you?" Sherlock takes it, puzzled. "You've always played mainly solo, haven't you? Not in a band or orchestra?" John asks.
"Yes..." answers Sherlock, unsure where this is going.
"So you don't know much about the clarinet, do you?"
Sherlock shakes his head mutely.
John grins. "Imagine that, me teaching you," he says, idly fingering the shining metalwork. "Normally, removing the bell will put the clarinet just slightly out of tune, barring a few notes. Still playable, though."
"Why take it off then?"
John ignores the question as Sherlock has ignored so many of his in the past, continuing his explanation calmly. "Another function of the bell is to spread and diffuse the air flow and sound. Without it... I think you'll like this, then," he says and raises the clarinet, giving the reed a quick swipe of his tongue to re-moisten it. Sherlock's eyes follow the movement. John places the clarinet in his mouth, angling the bell-less end out so that it is hovering over Sherlock's diaphragm. Every finger clamps down, covering every hole except the bottom one. He takes a deep breath, and plays.
He expels hard, blowing a low E, and the resulting vibration of air makes Sherlock jerk in surprise. "Do that again," he demands, and John grins, and then firming his mouth slightly complies, riffing the note with the littlest finger on his right hand.
"I felt that right in my torso,"says Sherlock in a low tone. "Fascinating."
"A direct current of air, mostly being expelled and forced down through the opening where the bell should be. Pulsing with vibration," explains John. "No bell, no diffusion of sound or air. Helps to have good lungs, of course. With all the playing I've done, I have superior capacity, even after all this time."
Sherlock's pupils dilate with interest.
John cradles his instrument and smiles at his flatmate. "Experiment?"
"Yes, please," breathes Sherlock.
As to the ending of the scene, you decide.
-------------------------------
Videos:
The beginning of Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin is swoon-worthy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSMRyv8yNOk
Humorous klezmer piece - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWiNiLE_ck8
Benny Goodman at age 19 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl8jXhh3Khg
Arty Shaw in a wry piece - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOi5vtxCbA
The wistful longing, Copland Clarinet Concerto - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XWDtIGVSNI
The sexier sound of the clarinet, Art Shaw, big band - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps05TaQuYvc
A modern piece, Night Monsoon - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnyDwXmxwac
Khachaturian Trio for Clarinet, violin and Piano http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gU-rrFupx0
A Clarinetist on the 'attack' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgXPX5fSTtI
Fingering - Flight of the Bumblebee - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CkK-LM6Oe0&feature=relmfu