Chapter Text
Bruce is driving home from a long and arduous day at work when his private cell rings.
It's from an unknown number, but that doesn't mean that it's spam, not in his world.
"Bruce Wayne speaking."
A voice disguised with an electronic voice modulator responded and said:
"Mr. Wayne, we have your children. If you don't sign over all of your holdings..."
In an angry, gravelly voice Bruce cuts him off and replies,
"Listen to me, I'll say this once and once only,"
"I don't pay ransoms."
"I don't know who you are,"
"I don't know what you want,"
"I don't know where you're hiding,"
"But what I do have are a very particular set of skills."
"Skills I have acquired over a very long career,"
"Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you."
"If you let my children go now, that will be the end of it."
"I will not look for you."
"I will not pursue you."
"But if you don't,"
"I will seek you out,"
"I will find you,"
"And I will kill you."
Joker abruptly hangs up, he and Harley are visibly shaken.
"Oh my God, this is your worst idea evah, Puddin', he's gonna kill us both!" Harley shrieked.
"Omigod, he's scary, so scary!" Joker yelped, his eyes large with fear.
"Just give him his kids back, I'm shakin, Joker, I"m so scared!" Harley shivered, her arms hugging herself.
"But Harls, we don't even have his kids, remember, we were bluffing!" Joker explained, waving his arms around aimlessly.
"I think you're right, we're both gonna die, baby. He's gonna find us and moider us both!"
Harley found an enormous duffel bag and began stuffing in her clothes haphazardly, tossing in clothes by the fistful.
"We need to get the hell out of Gotham, pack up your shit, and let's get the fuck out of here!" she screamed, panicked.
Joker grabs some stacks of hundred dollar bills and stuffs them into Harley's already overflowing bag, and he drags it outside to the Jokermobile then tosses it in the back seat as Harley gets in, and hits the gas.
He's driving like the devil is following behind them both and drives them out of Gotham, perhaps forever.
As they speed away, some of their loose money is carried off into the wind.
Joker's loss is Gotham's gain.