Chapter Text
The night is young by the time Kyunghoon and Heechul leave the cafe. They stayed there for only a couple of hours in total silence. It was as if the they telepathically told one another that there was nothing to say. There was no urgency to make conversation, and Kyunghoon couldn't be more grateful. He doesn't seem to function normally when he's around people he doesn't know and today was no different. When he started stirring the last bit of coffee in his mug absentmindedly, Heechul suggested they should start heading home before it got too dark. Kyunghoon nodded.
The two of them walked down the street the same way they did before; a gaping distance between them. This was intentional, however. Heechul could feel that he was coming on too strong for Kyunghoon, considering the first day he decides to talk to him is also the first time they spend any time together out of school. Giving him a bit of physical space is the least he can do, so he does. Kyunghoon, however, thinks nothing of it. He looks down to the ground as he walks. He's in no rush to get home.
Heechul halts at a bus stop sign and Kyunghoon does the same. They look at each other for the first time since they started walking. Heechul speaks first.
"So, are you gonna take the bus home?" he asks.
Kyunghoon shakes his head. "Are you?"
"I was going to, but if you're not I can at least walk you home. If that's alright with you, of course."
"Isn't that what you're supposed to do after a first date?" Kyunghoon says with that small smile playing on his lips. Heechul laughs out loud and shrugs.
"I mean, this does seem like a blind date, doesn't it?" Heechul's gummy smile shows his pearly whites. Kyunghoon widens his smile a bit at the sight. Heechul walks towards Kyunghoon with his chin stuck up arrogantly. He offers his arm and Kyunghoon can't help but feel awkward again.
"Too much?"
"Kind of."
The two look at each other for a moment before breaking into giggles, like elementary school children that just discovered their first inside joke. Heechul shakes his head before he starts walking again with Kyunghoon following him.
"It's funny," Heechul says. "I haven't been on a blind date in ages. My friends used to always set me up every now and then with whatever girl they found to be pretty. I guess I complained about being single a lot back then."
Kyunghoon nods along as he listens, hands in his coat pockets. Heechul peers at him. "Have you been on a blind date before?"
Their walking begins to slow down at this. Kyunghoon shrugs.
"It's not my thing. Blind dates. Dating in general. I don't know if you haven't noticed but I'm not exactly great with human interaction."
Heechul smiles to himself. Maybe this is a good chance for Kyunghoon to open up to him, even just a little. It'll be a small victory if he learns anything about him on this fated stroll home. This seems to be a good beginning.
"When did it start?" he asks.
"When did what start?"
"Your...introvertness."
"Oh. As long as I can remember. Even when I was a kid, I always relied on other kids to come and ask me to play with them instead of making the effort to ask myself. I was just scared of everyone, I think. Scared of rejection."
"That young? You were scared of rejection even then? That's rough."
"Yeah, well, what can you do."
Kyunghoon doesn't continue and Heechul understands. He's not surprised to learn that Kyunghoon has always struggled this seemingly inevitable social anxiety, but he can't help in feeling bad knowing he still has to deal with it today. He wishes he would've helped him earlier in the year.
"Have any hobbies?" Heechul fishes again. "What do you like to do?"
Kyunghoon hums in thought for a moment. "I game a lot. It passes the time," he says. It's normal for guys like them, an obvious answer. A safe answer. Heechul wants more.
"Is that it?" he presses on. Kyunghoon pauses again, considering whether or not he should say it. Realizing he has nothing to lose he sighs, letting his breath be seen in front of him.
"I like to sing," he finally says. "I like to write songs, too. Go ahead, make fun of me."
"Make fun of you? No way," Heechul laughs. Kyunghoon lifts his gaze to his. "That's crazy, I also like to sing and write songs. It's just a hobby for me, though. Do you want to be a singer?"
"That'd be cool but no."
"What if someone offered you a contract? Would you take it?"
"I've never really thought about it seriously, nothing like that. It's a hobby for me too."
"I see," Heechul nods. An idea suddenly crosses his mind and he turns his body to Kyunghoon, making him stop in his tracks. "What do you say to a karaoke room this weekend? I wanna hear you sing."
Kyunghoon's eyes widen. His mind is yelling no don't you even think about it absolutely not that sounds like an awful idea no no no. His mind also reminds him just this once, don't push. A sigh escapes him. Quite the crossroad. However, he amazes himself when he hears an 'okay, sounds fun' leave his mouth.
What have you done.
Heechul leaps with utter joy. Kyunghoon forces a smile as well. He doesn't know what he thinks he's doing but it's amusing to see Heechul so elated.
"Okay, yes, cool. Make it Saturday, 3P.M. There's a karaoke place around the same area as the cafe, so let's meet there. Promise?"
Kyunghoon blinks at the pinkie Heechul has stuck up towards his face. He wiggles it as if to allure him. Kyunghoon takes a quick look up at Heechul's round eyes and down again. He can't believe it but he watches his own pinkie link to Heechul's. As hesitant as it is, it's enough to make Heechul smile that gummy smile Kyunghoon saw earlier at the bus stop.
"Promise." he says quietly. Heechul's face softens at this, waving their interlocked hands back and forth gently. He abruptly lets go, dropping Kyunghoon's hand harder than he meant to, and takes his pink phone out.
"Give me your number. I'll text you." he says. Kyunghoon suddenly feels like he doesn't know what a phone is.
"Oh. Um...alright." It's not reluctant, but he's not exactly thrilled to give it to just anyone. He decides to trust Heechul, however. Just for the moment. He slowly tells Heechul his number, watching his slender fingers tap away. He slips his phone back into his coat pocket, unable to hide his satisfaction. For now, this isn't a mistake. At least, Kyunghoon hopes it isn't. He prays to God this isn't a mistake.
--
"Here, my house," Kyunghoon says. "With the persimmon tree." He points to the house only a few feet from where the boys were. Heechul nods and follows Kyunghoon to the small metal gate in front of his home. It's decorated with uncut vines, as well as the stone walls that surround the house. He can see the tree looming over the shrubs that sit by the porch leading to the front door. It's quaint, picturesque.
Kyunghoon steps up to the gate and opens it, producing a creaky noise that makes him cringe. He makes a small wave to Heechul, saying a shy 'bye,' but doesn't go through the gate. He looks down momentarily.
"Thank you," he finally says. "For letting me hang out with you. I'm sorry I...made such an outburst earlier."
"Don't worry about it. It was my pleasure," Heechul laughs slightly, waving his hand dismissively. "I'll see you tomorrow in class. Go inside, it's cold."
Kyunghoon presses his lips and his dimples deepen. He wishes he had more to say, because he does, but the words don't seem to form in his mouth. Without any final remarks, he closes the gate behind him as he walks up the stairs to his front door.
Before pressing the passcode to his house, he turns around. He doesn't know why but his mind seemed to linger for a moment with a thought he didn't expect; one last look at Heechul. When he did, Heechul was right where he left him, watching him. His face could be seen just beyond the branches of the persimmon tree. Their eyes meet and Heechul blinks several times, as if snapping himself out of a trance.
Maybe it was a trick of the light from the dim streetlamp, but Kyunghoon thought he could see Heechul grin. Not in the bright, confident way he usually presents himself with, but one that was rather sheepish.
Kyunghoon tilts his head and before he could think anything else, Heechul raises an arm high into the air, waving it left and right. Kyunghoon waved back and bowed politely, signaling for Heechul to start walking home himself. He had hoped his telepathic message of 'go safely' would reach the boy.
He pressed the numbers to his home and opened the door, already feeling the warmth from the inside. He turned around for what would be his last time. Heechul brought the red scarf wrapped around him up to cover his nose and mouth before scurrying back towards the direction they had come from. Before Kyunghoon knew it, Heechul disappeared.
He didn't know why, but his feet didn't immediately walk into his house. Something stopped him. It didn't last but that doesn't mean he didn't notice it. He shook his head before stepping inside, shedding his coat.
"Kyunghoon? Is that you?"
Kyunghoon lifted his head to the voice of his mother calling from the kitchen. He could smell dinner and quickly kicked his shoes off. He shuffled to where his mother was, stirring a boiling pot of soup he was ready to eat. By the sight of him, the woman smiled. The lines around her eyes crinkled. He smiled back.
"Hi son," she said pleasantly. "Are you hungry? How was your day? Was school alright? Did you finish your homework? Is that why you're back so late?"
Kyunghoon's mom had the habit of asking him a million questions at once and not giving him a chance to answer a single one accordingly. So, he answers each, one by one, with the passing time. She repeats them anyhow, so he doesn't forget to eventually answer all of them by the end. Not a single question gets missed.
"I am hungry," he answers. "My day was...actually good. It wasn't perfect by any means but it was...it was good."
"Oh?" his mother chirped. "Well, I'm so glad my son had a good day. You can tell me about it when food is ready. Now, go change. I'll tell you when it's ready." She rubs his cheek with a smile and Kyunghoon nods.
He takes his bag and opens the door to his room, shutting it behind him. Once he does, he leans against it and takes a very large, needed breath. Absentmindedly he flips the lightswitch, revealing his bed, made ready to be slept in. His social battery was somehow drained by a single person. Now, he wants nothing more than to just lie in his bed without needing to move once. He takes his glasses off and does exactly that, spreading himself out on top of his covers and taking a pillow close to his chest.
His eyes stay open, looking up to his ceiling. He stays like that for a few minutes, replaying events in his mind. His day didn't seem to start until Heechul entered the picture. What Kyunghoon makes of that, he doesn't know. He doesn't want to know anything at the moment, it'll make everything too real, too much to accept that his small world is suddenly changing, yet again. All he chooses to know for now is that he has someone to talk to.
Since moving that summer, Heechul is the only person outside of his immediate family that he can talk to. Calling him a 'friend' is a bit much for him, however. It's not a word he likes to throw around; friend, trust, love…
When was the last time Kyunghoon used the word 'love' for anyone?
--
"Hey guys, I made a new friend!" Heechul yells right as he busts through the door of the apartment. He kicks his shoes off, adding to the noise. It disturbs the rest of the boys inside, who were eating from a very large pot of instant-made noodles. All of them were sitting on the ground in a circle around the low-standing table, heads turning instantly at the sound of Heechul.
"Ohh, so loud!" one says. "Hey, you can't say hello first?"
"Hello, Shindong," Heechul says smiling. He strides up to him and makes it so his mouth is right next to his ear. "I made a new friend!!" he yells.
When Shindong slaps a hand over his ear and tips over into another boy's lap, Heechul bends back and cackles wildly. The others simply shake their heads and resume eating.
"Sit down and eat," one says. "Actually no, go wash your hands, you've been out all day." He directs Heechul to the bathroom with the chopsticks in his hand. Heechul pushes him slightly on his back with his foot, making the boy turn around and swat it away.
"Hello to you too, Jungsoo." Heechul grins wickedly. "Did you cook tonight?"
Jungsoo slurps up a noodle and nods. "Go wash your hands." he says with his mouth full. Heechul snickers as he takes off his coat and scarf, throwing his bag on the sofa packed with a variety of pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals strewn about.
Heechul makes his way to the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He turns the sink on and begins cleaning his hands, but his mind wanders.
He hasn't stopped thinking about Kyunghoon at all. Bits and pieces of him bounce around in his head at a constant rate: The way he always looked down. The way his hand would be positioned when he put one elbow on a table. The way he'd pucker his lips in thought. The way his ears would go red if he looked at him long enough. The way his round, soft cheeks felt under his hand. His eyes. His tears. His silence. His words.
"I'm not a lonely person."
"But you are." Heechul says quietly to himself. He lets the water run so he could let his thoughts simmer in his head for a while longer.
"Heechul?"
Heechul whipped his head around to the closed door to the voice that broke into his pondering. He swiftly turned the faucet off and wiped his hands on the nearby towel hanging on the wall. Breathing deep, he opened the door to a concerned Kyuhyun standing in front of him.
"Hi Kyuhyun," Heechul says with a smile. "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing. It's just that you've been in here for a long time. You alright?" Kyuhyun searches Heechul's face, who's smile never wavered. Never for the youngest in the house. No matter what, Heechul would always smile for Kyuhyun.
"I'm fine," he assures. "Just washed up. Come on, let's go eat." Heechul walks past Kyuhyun, patting his ruffled brown hair. He can feel Kyuhyun watching him, but he follows anyway.
They sit down next to each other at the same time. Chopsticks are handed to him and Heechul accepts them. He looks up and sees it was Siwon, still chewing but smiling at him. Heechul thanks him before digging into the pot himself. As he eats, he feels a foot nudge his knee from under the table. It stops him mid slurp.
"Tell us about the new friend," Youngwoon says. He's the first finished with his share, as always. Usually he'd leave, but this time he has a story to stay for.
"Ah! That's right!" Ryeowook joins. "You can't make all that noise coming in so late and not say anything."
Heechul laughs. "Come on, I literally just sat down."
"Heechul, please?" It's Jongwoon that chimes in, making the rest of the group arrupt in agreement. Jungsoo continues to eat. Heechul lets them go on for a few seconds longer before trying to silence them by waving his arms.
"Hey, hey, hey, okay, damn," he says in mock exasperation.
"Is he the one you ditched us for?" Kyuhyun asks. He's almost offended. "We really needed you on our team earlier."
"And I needed help with my English homework." Sungmin whined. "Was he that cool?"
"He's allowed to have other friends, guys." Hankyung mutters. "Let him talk."
"Thank you. See? It's that easy. Idiots." Heechul laughs. Everyone knows he doesn't mean it, except for two out of the group that have been quiet since he entered. Heechul notices.
"Hey. Lee Donghae. Lee Hyukjae. Look at me." Heechul's voice is suddenly assertive. The two he called for look up slowly. You'd think they were ready to get yelled at by their mothers from the look in their eyes. Heechul puts his chopsticks down on the table and sighs before speaking again. "I'm not mad at you guys."
"You're not?" Donghae asks, almost timidly.
"Why not? We're idiots, aren't we?" Hyukjae challenges, but it doesn't last when Jungsoo shoots a look at him. Heechul continues.
"Yeah, you definitely are. You know what, I lied, I am mad. You guys really hurt that kid's feelings, you know that? And you have been ever since the year started. I yelled at you guys today because I lost my patience for your shit. I don't want to hear any of it again, you hear me?"
The two boys nodded and mumbled their individual yeses and sorrys. Heechul nodded and picked his chopsticks back up. "I hung out with him today."
At this, the group leans in. Jungsoo puts his chopsticks back down and sips from a water bottle. Heechul knows he's paying very close attention.
"He's a good kid. Really good. Nothing bad to say about him. I brought him to the cafe and we talked there. It was nice."
"The cafe I showed you? The one with the French names?" Jongwoon points to himself. Heechul nods and the boy pumps a fist in the air, congratulating himself. Siwon next to him gives him a high-five while Ryeowook rolls his eyes at the sight.
"What'd you learn about him?" Donghae asks with genuine interest in his eyes.
"Well, you know, he likes gaming like us. He said likes to sing too, which is really interesting." Heechul takes another bite of noodles. Hyukjae coughs in disbelief.
"Him? That guy? He knows how to talk? He knows how to work his vocal chords? That's news to me." he remarks, but not before Youngwoon smacks him on the back. He yelps in surrender. Sungmin mutters a 'God, what a bully' before getting up for water. Heechul pretends he didn't hear anything.
"Yeah, he's shy but that doesn't mean he can't talk, much less sing. I'm seeing it for myself this weekend. Saturday. I invited him to karaoke." Heechul looks up at the rest of the group who have all started giving faces at one another. Kyuhyun pouts.
"Bro, that's our day though," he says poking Heechul's shoulder. "You can't just invite someone like that without letting us know."
Heechul pats his leg reassuringly. "Trust me on this. The more the merrier, you know? Besides, he needs to know other people around here. We can help him out on that. If not for him, do it for me."
Siwon nods. "I'll be there," he decides. "I think inviting him wouldn't be such a bad idea." He raises his water bottle and his eyebrow at his suggestion. The others shrug and talk amongst themselves over this. Heechul watches them. Jungsoo watches Heechul.
"Heechul."
The group stops. They all look towards Jungsoo, who has stood up. Heechul looks at him.
"What?"
Jungsoo motions with his head for him to follow. Heechul lets a breath out and excuses himself silently. Everyone watches the two disappear and ease back into their conversations, but a bit quieter than before.
The two walk into a bedroom and Heechul shuts the door. Jungsoo sits on one of the two twin beds and pats on a spot next to him. Heechul sits next to him and looks at him expectedly.
"Tell me about him," Jungsoo speaks calmly, carefully. "Kyunghoon."
"I did," Heechul casually says. "He likes games, he apparently like to sing--"
"Stop, you know I don't mean that. Actually tell me about him. Not the dressed-up version."
At this, Heechul doesn't respond right away. Jungsoo adjusts his position so that he's fully facing the other boy. "You can tell me."
Jungsoo knows how Heechul usually doesn't tell the whole truth when describing such things with the rest of the group. He didn't know he was so obvious, but Jungsoo can always tell right away. Due to this, Heechul tells Jungsoo the whole truth, beginning to end. Tonight was no different.
Heechul takes a deep breath and Jungsoo waits.
"He's really quiet," he starts. He begins to remember the details of Kyunghoon that he took home with him, one at a time. "When someone looks at him for too long, the tips of his ears get red. He said he's always been like that; shy. He won't talk to anyone first. He waits for someone to come to him. I guess I was that person today. I asked him why he thinks he started being like that and he said he thinks he's been scared of rejection since his childhood. He's been irrationally scared of everyone his whole life because of it. I mean, imagine living your whole life like that."
Jungsoo listens carefully and doesn't butt in at any moment. Not until he knows Heechul is done. He lets him continue.
"I brought him to that cafe Jongwoon likes. I asked him if he liked it and something in him made his fight response go off. I got mad. I really wish I was more patient with him. God, I hate how fast I lost my temper, I should've known. I shouldn't have left but I did. I left him there, alone." He stops for a moment. The image of what he saw through the window flashes in his mind: Kyunghoon sitting alone, looking down at his lap, gripping at his pants as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded in reality. His tears flowing down those pink, flushed cheeks. Heechul shakes off the thought but it never really leaves him.
"I went back in because...I saw him. And he was crying. It didn't look like that was the first time someone left him like that, at least from what I could tell. That's the thing, I can't read him at all. You know how quick I can read people. I couldn't get anything from Kyunghoon. I realized it was 'cause his eyes were just...nothing. They were so pretty but nothing was there. Not a sparkle, not a single light. Jungsoo, it scared me. It scared me a lot, I've seen those too many times to not know what that means, you know? He's been through a lot, or he's going through it now, I can't tell. I was just wiping his tears 'cause I felt so bad and I couldn't help but look at his eyes and he wouldn't say anything to me and…"
Jungsoo pulled Heechul into a hug. They don't hug often, if not ever, but this time they do without any questions. Heechul put his hands on Jungsoo back in response.
"I'm just worried about him, Jungsoo…" Heechul whispered in the boy's shoulder. "He must've felt so alone this whole time. He said he's not a lonely person but I know that's not true, I know it's not…."
"It's alright," Jungsoo murmurs. "He has a friend now. Don't worry. Just...You're not responsible for him, so don't feel burdened by this. Just be there for him like how you've been here for me. Nothing extravagant. Be there for him."
Heechul nodded silently. Jungsoo pulls away and peers at the other's face. He pats his arm lightly before leaning back into his original position again.
"So," he says. "Did you guys do anything after the cafe?"
"I walked him home," Heechul says, smiling involuntarily at the thought. Jungsoo notices. "His house has a persimmon tree. He thanked me for hanging out with him and apologized for crying. I said it's fine. Oh, I invited him to karaoke like I mentioned. He doesn't know the rest of you guys are going."
Jungsoo thinks for a moment. "Maybe you guys should go alone. Without us."
Heechul raises his eyebrows. "Why? Thought I'd introduce him to the rest of the family." But Jungsoo shakes his head.
"You're taking things way too quickly for him. Kyunghoon. Consider him for a second. He's met you. The first person he meets since being here, you. You're already quite a lot to begin with, so I can imagine meeting the rest of us would be super overwhelming. Give him time to adjust to you first. Until then, save us for later. Got it?"
Heechul blinks. He somehow forgot the type of people he's friends with. If Jungsoo didn't say anything, Saturday would have been very difficult to handle for the both of them. He agrees with a nod.
"Living with you has made me smarter," he says. "I guess I'm really fucking stupid."
"Maybe."
"Shut up."
"You said it, not me."
Heechul lightly pushes Jungsoo's shoulder. "You're supposed to disagree with me, genius."
Jungsoo laughs. "Well then I'd be lying."
The two laugh, and the rest of the group sits outside listening to them. Jungsoo gets up and pulls Heechul with him, giving him a smile.
"You'll be okay, right?" he asks.
"Right...Thanks, Jungsoo. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Oh shut the fuck up with that, you're such an old man. Have you been drinking?"
"Alright, fuck you, I'm never being nice to you ever again."
A knock comes from the door, startling the two boys. Jungsoo opens it, revealing Hankyung, Youngwoon, and Sungmin. They're all in their coats and scarves.
"We're gonna head out now, guys," Youngwoon says. "See you at school tomorrow."
"Bye you guys!" Sungmin chirps. Hankyung waves behind him. Heechul and Jungsoo make their way out of the room to wave them goodbye with the rest of the group. Once they leave, everyone starts to do their share in cleaning up and setting up sleeping arrangements.
Jungsoo starts to wash the dishes but taps Heechul on the shoulder. He turns around, only to be told to change out of his school uniform he's still wearing. Heechul laughs and heads to the bedroom he sleeps in.
Heechul cozies up in his side of the bed once he's all changed. Siwon climbs in shortly after. They turn their backs against one another. This is how they sleep every night.
"Goodnight Heechul," Siwon yawns. "I hope all goes well with Kyunghoon."
Heechul shifts. "What?"
Siwon yawns again. "I said I hope all goes well with Kyunghoon. Your friendship. I hope it lasts."
An unexpected relief washes over Heechul. "Oh. Haha. Thanks."
Hyukjae and Donghae head in for bed not long after, shutting off lights. Heechul ends up alone with his thoughts about Kyunghoon in the dark. He takes his phone from the nightstand and scrolls through his contacts, landing on Kyunghoon's number he had just acquired. His thumb floats over the messaging button. He has no intention to text him right away, but right now he seems to be the most tempted.
Is Kyunghoon waiting for him to text him right now? To call him? What is he thinking right at this moment? Is he thinking of Heechul like how he is about him?
Eventually, he decides against this and puts his phone back on the nightstand. Pulling the duvet cover over his head, he closes his eyes.The night noises from outside keep him company as he tries to fall asleep. It doesn't take him long to. Finally, he dreams; dimples, tiny noses, red ears, and the prettiest eyes anyone has ever seen.