Chapter Text
A lot of learning had been done between the two and it never really stopped. Kyunghoon eventually learned that Heechul wants to be a fashion designer.
Kyunghoon went to Heechul's shared home often, mostly during the day. Rarely, he'd stay for dinner because that's when Heechul's friends would be around and he felt as though he was intruding. However, none of the boys paid any mind to his presence or considered him a nuisance. Quite the contrary, actually. He was welcomed as a guest.
In the first dinner he stayed for, he sat next to Hyukjae. Just by mere chance, not will. They looked at each other and Kyunghoon visibly froze. Hyukjae stared back at him with a dirty look, and Donghae scooted his way in between them. Other than that, it went well. He ate well. He listened to everyone's recountings of their days well and learned a lot about them, except for Siwon for some reason. He spoke the least, only joined in on everyone's antics and jokings. Kyunghoon chose to ignore it.
Other than these days, he would stay after school to study with Heechul, even if a lot of it was spent not actually studying. Just lying on their backs on Heechul's bed, eyes up at the white ceiling. He didn't care, though. Even if they talked about a whole lot of nothing, he felt safe being with Heechul.
One day, he spotted Heechul's sketchbooks lying next to his pillow on his bed.
"Ah, these?" Heechul asked, following Kyunghoon's line of vision. Kyunghoon looked back at him as if he had been caught seeing something he shouldn't have.
"Sorry, I never saw them," he quickly said. Heechul laughed out loud, holding his tummy.
"It's not some big secret, don't worry about it," Heechul said relaxed. "They're what I'm proud of, nothing to hide."
He patted on a spot next to him on the blankets and Kyunghoon followed, unsure but obediently. Heechul reached over, grabbed two of the three sketchbooks and flipped through them.
Kyunghoon observed them in their swift pencil strokes, abundant colors, different styles, men's and women's designs alike. The two boys met eyes at the same time, both smiling, and Heechul's heart clenched.
Kyunghoon's eyes were sparkling for the first time since he had ever seen him. Sparkling brighter than the sun's glimmer on river waters, brighter than a thousand stars. Not from tears like before, but from pure, innocent joy. The hollow pits seemed to have vanished.
"These are so cool, Heechul!" Kyunghoon exclaimed. "You made these all yourself? How long did they take?"
Heechul pulled himself together from his Kyunghoon-centric orbit and answered him. "Putting them down on paper doesn't take long if I have an idea already in mind. It's easier to have all of my materials within reach. Whenever I think of something, I draw it right away."
Kyunghoon listened to every word and Heechul felt his face warm up.
"It's not a big deal though. They're just vague ideas, you know."
"I think they're great ideas," Kyunghoon whispered. His breath could be felt right on Heechul's cheek.
Heechul looked at him from the corner of his eye, slightly pushing Kyunghoon.
"I'm serious!" Kyunghoon laughed.
"I know. I think...never mind." Heechul hid his face, the warmth growing.
"Think what?" Kyunghoon questioned, peering at the other boy. He used his hand to move his curly hair and Heechul stood up.
"Gotta pee, I'll be back!" Heechul yelled while running out of the bedroom.
Kyunghoon laughed to himself in both disbelief and amusement. He looked back at the two opened sketchbook and went through the pages himself, carefully looking at every detail as he would prefer to.
He draws so well, Kyunghoon thinks. So talented.
He absent-mindedly looks behind him and spots the third sketchbook. He takes it without a second thought and opens it to a random spot in the middle. His feels his mouth open slightly at what he sees: himself.
A detailed, realistic portrait in pencil of himself greets him. It's clearly his face, looking to the side somewhere. The lines are light, soft, and calculated. He can't believe his eyes. He shakes his head and flips to another page, only to meet himself again. This time, it's a full front view of his face. His thin-rimmed glasses are in this portrait and so are his dimples. He touches his own real ones subconsciously. How did Heechul capture his face, his small features, so well? With such delicacy and care? Why? he wonders.
"'Cause I like good faces."
Kyunghoon almost falls off the bed at the sound of Heechul's voice combined with the speed at which he turned around. The sketchbook drops from his hands closed. He realizes…
"Did you hear me?"
"Did you think out-loud? Yeah," Heechul says. He looks at the sketchbook Kyunghoon closed and smiles. "You like them? My portraits?"
Kyunghoon struggles to form words and his ears are getting hot. "What?" is what he manages.
"At a loss for words, huh?" Heechul giggles. "I think I draw my ugly friends pretty well. Especially Siwon, he has such strong features."
Kyunghoon thinks for a moment. Heechul doesn't know he looked at the sketches of, well, himself. He thinks he only saw the ones of his roomates. Kyunghoon exhales at the realization.
"Yeah...Yeah, they're really good. So realistic…"
Heechul pats his chest proudly. "I try my best, I try my best," he says pridefully. "I didn't mean to show those to you until later, but I guess since curiosity got the best of you…"
Kyunghoon raises his hands up in defense. "I never saw them. Promise."
Heechul tilts his head and pouts, as if he saw a baby fall from running too fast. "Those aren't a secret either, but I'm grateful for your loyalty."
Kyunghoon looked away and back at the sketchbook. "Is my face...good?" he asked quietly.
Heechul stood unmoving for a moment, then walked towards the bed. Kyunghoon watched him as he sat next to him, looking straight into his eyes. It looked as though he had something to say. Their noses were inches apart.
Suddenly, Heechul shrugged, like he was finalizing his thorough scans of Kyunghoon's face.
"Yeah. I like your face. It's nice to draw," he says casually. He pats the top of Kyunghoon's head, then lightly on his cheek. "You have a nice face to draw."
Kyunghoon shifts. Heechul has a late reaction to his own words and backs up.
"Not like...I ever drew you or...anything…" he trailed off. Kyunghoon blinks.
"It'd be cool, I think."
"What would?"
"If you drew me...I think it'd be cool."
--
During Christmas break, they saw each other frequently. They would go to PC rooms and that one cafe often. The shortened time made them want to be together more than usual. They'd spend time playing games together for hours or chatted over lattes they didn't drink all the way. Warmth was provided through smiles and occasional, yet welcomed, hand-holding.
"They say it's going to snow today," Heechul supplies, sipping on his latte. "Wanna go to the park? It'd be the first snow of the year."
Kyunghoon looks into his mug. "What do you do with your friends on the first snow?"
Heechul rests his hand on the table. "What, like in general?"
"No, with your friends. What do you guys do together?"
"Oh. I mean...nothing special, really. We'd stay inside and play video games. Someone would look outside and go, 'it's snowing!' Then we'd all go, 'oh wow.' That'd be the extent of our first snow days."
"Are you saying you want to make this one special?"
The boys met eyes. Heechul didn't know what Kyunghoon was insinuating, but he hoped it was something to look forward to.
"You could say that." he answered.
Kyunghoon looked back down at his mug again, smiling a shy smile this time. Heechul inadvertently smiled as well.
--
By the time they arrived at the park, snowflakes had already started falling slowly. Kyunghoon puffed out a breath playfully and watched it dissolve into the air. Heechul took his hand and held it, tucking it into his coat pocket. The two walked on the concrete path in comfortable silence.
"What did you do on the first snow? When you were little, I mean." Heechul asked. His words were muffled by the red scarf wrapped around his neck, drowning him up to his nose.
Kyunghoon hummed, going through kind memories.
"My brother and I would play in the field. It was wide and open, we ran up to the very edges of it. The snow looked like it never ended since it wasn't all shoveled right away." he mused. "I remember we were walking back to our house at night, up the hill. It was covered completely. You couldn't see the road at all. Just the footprints we'd left behind. The moon was so bright."
Heechul nodded along. "You had quite the complicated relationship with your brother, I assume," he thought aloud. "With the favoritism and all..."
Kyunghoon cleared his throat and Heechul realized he crossed a line. "Back then, we didn't notice it as much. We were kids. We still loved each other."
Heechul rubbed circles with his thumb on Kyunghoon's knuckles in his pocket as he listened.
As much torment he experienced, Kyunghoon was very fond of his childhood. It left Heechul light in his heart, knowing Kyunghoon can still look back in happiness and nostalgia. It's exactly what he'd hoped.
"What about you? Did you spend those days with your family when you were a kid?" Kyunghoon asked.
Heechul smiled. "I spent them with my sister. Us siblings were a rare case, back then."
Kyunghoon turned his head to him. "I don't understand…"
Heechul sighed, letting a long puff of breath in front of him. "Foster kids."
Kyunghoon stopped walking. His hand fell out of Heechul's pocket.
"We were fosters, but we learned to be happy with ourselves. First snow's were the best days of our lives. We'd just throw snow at each other and sing Christmas songs when snowflakes fell."
Heechul turned to Kyunghoon, who was wide eyed and sad. Heechul continued to smile. "Like I said, we were happy."
Heechul brushed a snowflake off of Kyunghoon's eyebrow and let his finger fall on his reddened nose. He stuffed Kyunghoon's hand back into his pocket in a tight clasp.
"Come on. The field is close."
--
An endless blanket of white, Kyunghoon thought. The snow was falling harder and the flakes had gotten bigger. Now, the field was covered entirely.
Heechul led Kyunghoon through the children that ran about, leaving powder flying through the air. He had a destination in mind, so he ignored the chaos around him. Kyunghoon clung onto him.
They stopped under three large trees, just barely off the center of the field but yards and yards away from the clusters of children.
The snowfall continued to thicken. Kyunghoon looked up and a flake dropped into his eye, making him yelp in surprise. Heechul blew on his eye while asking him if he's blind, telling him he's brainless for thinking that no consequences would come out of what he did. They laughed together, under a dying tree and the heavy falling of white.
"Pretty," Heechul suddenly commented.
Kyunghoon blinked. "Huh?"
"The sky," Heechul motioned up with his chin. "It's white like the ground. It doesn't sparkle though. Kinda wish it did."
"It will at night," Kyunghoon reasoned. "It's night time. Stars and stuff."
"You know, your eyes looked like that when you saw my sketches."
"Like stars?"
Heechul nodded. "Mm. Stars, starry eyes. Like the Van Gough painting. They swirled."
Kyunghoon grinned. "You're a poet."
Heechul kicked a bit of snow at his legs. "I just tried to compliment you and you're gonna act smart with me," he snarled with no real remorse. "Whatever. I stand by my statement."
Heechul's back was rested against the tree behind him with Kyunghoon standing only a foot away. His hand was still in Heechul's pocket, entrapped in coziness and soft skin. He felt Heechul's thumb make slow, small rounds.
"You know what I've noticed?" Heechul said, not really asking for an answer. "In dramas, couples would kiss while it was snowing, but they would be leaving each other. Every time. Why does it have to snow in such a sad moment? Is it sad to snow? I don't know about you, but I'm perfectly happy right now." He stared at Kyunghoon as he said all of this.
"Are you sad right now, Kyunghoon?"
"No. I'm actually really happy."
Even in this freezing cold, his numb feet and ears, his drying eyes...Kyunghoon never wanted this to end. He made a step closer to Heechul, enclosing themselves from the rest of the world. For now, it didn't exist.
"You wanna know a secret?" Heechul said quietly, just barely over a whisper.
"Hm?" Kyunghoon hummed.
"I've always wanted to have my first kiss in the first snow."
Kyunghoon slightly tightened his grasp on Heechul's hand.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I want it to be special." Heechul said. "With someone really, really special."