Chapter Text
Cold. It was cold. It was so, so cold. Skeppy staggered with each step. Towards where he didn't know, nor did he care. It was so, so cold. A melody, unbeknownst to Skeppy how he knew it, settled into his mind. It was the staggering, slow melody of the whipping winds, the whirling snow, the cold creeping into his skin, into his bones, into his very being. And, the final touch was a slowed, simple melody of a song that he used to know so well. In another lifetime he had stayed frequently...in...Snowdin. Yes. Snowdin. With...Wilbur. And Tommy. The slowed, eerie music seemed to bounce off of every surface. He staggered forwards, through the waist-deep snow, with only his cloak to keep him warm. So...cold...
"SKEPPY!"
Warm. Warmth. It was warm. It took Skeppy about a few seconds to register this in his mind as he sleepily looked up. He was seated next to a fireplace, the hot flames licking at the air. He also had a sweater on that he didn't remember having. Wait. This was Bad's sweater. No. No. No. No, no, nononononoono. This was another bad dream where Bad came back from wherever he had been. Skeppy would apologize a million times over and Bad would pull him close and comfort him as he cried. It'd be back to how it'd been before. Before Skeppy had become a monster. Now, he didn't mean it as scorn to the monsters, or mobs, that inhabited the underground. He meant that he was a true monster, a disguting thing that shoud've never ruled the underground. Hell, he'd offered Technoblade the crown, but the other had declined.
"No, Skeppy. You're a good ruler. You've just made a mistake, and when Bad comes back you can make up for it."
"When."
Skeppy was very sure that Bad was never going to come back. Oh, how he missed the other's touch, his smiles, the warm moments where they cuddled. It was a memory now. Nothing but the past. It was a different life where all of those loving things had happened. Back when he had deserved to be loved. Before this mess.
"Skeppy?" Skeppy's head whipped around to see Bad standing in the doorway of, that he now realized, Tommy and Wilbur's house.
"I'm not dreaming, am I?" Skeppy breathed. "It's not like all of the other times, is it?" Bad stiffened.
"No, Skeppy, it's not..." Bad trailed off. "You've dreamed of me?"
"Every night," Skeppy admitted. "Every single night. I wish about how we could go back. Before I did all of this shit and messed up." There was no usual 'language!' and for a second Skeppy wished for that familiar phrase to come out of his husband's mouth. They never officially divorced. Bad just left. But nothing did come out of the other's hosue, except for a shocked gaze and teary eyes.
"Skeppy, you--"
"I REGRET IT ALL!! "I REGRET EVERYTHING I DID. WHEN I'M NOT DREAMING OF YOU, I HAVE NIGHTMARES OF ALL OF THOSE CHILDREN'S DEATHS. THE CHILDREN THAT I KILLED. THE CHILDREN THAT I FORCED MY CITIZENS TO KILL." Skeppy's breathing was harsh and uneven as he curled up into a ball from his position on blankets on the floor. "I'm so horrible--"
"Stop that now!" Bad said, rushing over and pulling Skeppy into a hug. "You are amazing, I love you, and you are the best husband I could've ever asked for. Sure, you made mistakes, but you feel bad for them and you know that what you did was wrong. It doesn't make up for it just yet, but it's a step," Bad said, rubbing circles on the crying King's back.
"Can you ever forgive me?" Skeppy's broken voice made Bad stiffen.
"I... Skeppy, I..."
"It's okay if you can't," Skeppy lied through his teeth, his soul twisting in on itself and threatening to break.
"No, it's not that I don't want to, and after all these years, I still love you from the bottom of my soul...it's just that I need time. I need time to heal." Skeppy's heart dropped. "But I think I'll heal better with you here." His hopes soared again. "But I need time." It was a rollercoaster of emotions that made Skeppy feel like he was a teenager again. Tears spilled down from his eyes as he let out a choked laugh as he wrapped his arms around Bad.
"Bad, I--"
"Shh, Skeppy. It's going to be all right." They pulled away from each other. The crown that sat down a few feet away from him, as well as the royal cloak, glinted in the soft light of the flickering flames. For some reason, not wearing that crown or cloak made him feel free of responsibility. "But why were you out in that snow?" Skeppy froze.
"George...he's...going to come to the...castle. I'd have to fight him. I can't let the people down. I'll have to kill him, Bad."
"No, you don't." Skeppy looked at Bad. "You can always spare him. I think that many have gotten attached to him, no? He's different than the rest of the fallen humans."
"W-Well, I suppose so," Skeppy agreed.
"That wasn't the other reason why you were out there, was it?" Bad's eyes narrowed. He knew Skeppy too well.
"No," Skeppy admitted. "It's not." Bad waited for an answer. "I wanted to feel something, Bad. I felt so scared, I wanted to be free again for the final time. I wanted to get lost. I wanted to die, Bad. I wanted to somehow have an excuse to not kill that human and to feel anything but fear or dread. I wanted to go back to you, to the past, before all of this."
"We can't go back, Skeppy," Bad said, squeezing Skeppy tighter in his arms. "But that was a stupid decision, you muffin. If you died...and word got back to me...I don't think I would've been able to handle it. I would've died from sadness." Bad's gaze proved that he was not joking. Skeppy nearly choked.
"It was so cold, Bad. It was so, so cold..." Skeppy admitted. "It seeped into my being. It numbed me. But it felt relieving. To feel nothing." Bad's worry flashed across his face.
"Never do that again. I almost lost you," Bad trembled and Skeppy's tears poured down his face.
"I promise."
"I love you, you muffin."
"Even after everything?"
"Even after everything." There were a few more moments of comfortable silence.
"I'll spare George," Skeppy repeated it to himself as if to convince himself that it was possible.
"It's going to be hard to face him...but I'll be right here with you, every step of the way." Bad gripped Skeppy's hand. "Ya muffin. I'll always be here, from now on."
"I love you, Bad."
"I love you too, Skeppy."