Chapter Text
When I woke up again, my limbs still felt a strange mix of light and heavy; I was not a thin person before I died. I was, in fact, pretty dang heavy when I died. What an experience... It was a pretty awful one, actually. I keep thinking about it and I still feel a little cold as I uncover myself, shivering.
I can understand now why the old Wyrm wore such heavy robes.
What the hell was even my name? Why was so much of my prior life gone? I remember how I died. I remember… fragments of a life. It was admittedly not much of a life. Poor and unaccomplished in anything, unable to do anything productive and not even… I feel like there's something more, something I lost, that was stolen that I can't remember.
How did I die? Why did I die? I… I don't know and that scares me a great deal. A lot does right now, for some very good reasons!
Plan. I needed a plan, right the heck now or I am fucked along with the rest of Hallownest. Okay, so I have basic facts of my new weird living situation down, but there's things I need to find out, quickly. I need to figure out if I can do magic and how to do that. I need to find out if I am a god like Wyrm or if I'm just a weird bug.
I open my eyes and the first thing I notice is that I glow, pretty brightly. The lightness of the walls help hide that, but I am definitely glowing. So, I still have the kingslight that was spoken of in a few entries and by the old stag. It almost hurt to look at. Looking at my hands and… body, that sounds about right.
I have a tail now, with little grub pseudopods along part of it. And then two actual legs to hold myself upright. Something told me the legs were also sharp and grabby. The long tail was prehensile and I think with some practice, I can use it like… a snake. I think I could learn how to grab things with it. Worth trying to figure out, maybe.
I sat up and took deep breaths, focused on calming myself in meditation. Out with the negative shit, in with light. I could slowly feel myself calm down and feel less decidedly paranoid. The muscles in my back relaxed and I could feel like there were things that I could rely on near me. Some flew in place, watching and monitoring for trouble, while others patrolled or guarded important, silent places.
What… what am I sensing?
They mostly feel cold but some do not, some feel warm and I can feel respect, admiration and… worry? Am I sensing their minds? But why am I not feeling more, then? I would have thought I would sense a bit more than vague impressions but I have at least one answer to a question. I definitely have magic.
I felt calmer and got up out of the bed, pulling the sheet off me. I stood a bit shakily on my feet, trying to find balance. I had a long tail as thick as my abdomen. While my waist was slender, my hips were very wide. I was thin, mostly, with two sets of arms, one that stayed close to my chest with fewer digits than my upper arms. Weird.
I went to the closet where robes of different kinds were kept. All varying shades of white or pale grey. I picked the softest-looking one and dressed myself; thankfully, robes are easy enough to put on or take off. I decided I wasn't going to think about sleeping in the nude. Far as the White Lady knew, I was her husband and it's not like many bugs in this world gave a toss about nudity anyway. I rubbed my face… no, mask; I'll have to keep my terminology straight. My mask was very smooth, the carapace around my eye being bumpy. I could feel myself blinking occasionally, so I must have actual eyes of some sort.
I poked my head outside of the bedroom to see what lay outside it. It was an office, actually. There were scrolls, small tablets and writing tools scattered around, though the shelves looked organized enough. I sat at the desk and found a half-written parchment, full of equations I didn't understand and words I did despite looking like Sumerian or something, except round instead of angular. I picked up and dipped a stylus, tapping it against the inkwell before copying the last sentence. Not quite the same handwriting, but very close. I am also left-handed now. Interesting. I crossed out with a double line the copied line and set down the stylus. I'll count my blessings in being able to read and write.
The chair for the desk was a stool my tail had subconsciously wrapped around until I got up. I took a few deep breaths and tried not to feel very weird about my new body. It felt… off, wrong but not. I couldn't help but notice my fingers looking mismatched in length, looking stained at the tips. With ink? Void? I hid my hands in my sleeves and continued out of the office.
"Your majesty? You're awake!" A surprised, then emotional voice came.
It was a beetle about my height, who proceeded to kneel and prostrate himself before me. "...you may rise." My voice rumbled out, surprising myself with its sound now that I was relatively calm and not distracted by panic.
"Your lady wife asked me to bring you to her when you woke. Please follow, your grace." He spoke warmly to me, full of awe.
"Very well. I apologize, but… I cannot remember anything, including your name. Might you introduce yourself?" I asked and followed as he led me down the halls.
"Oh! My name is Darfel, your grace. I typically serve your watcher, Lord Lurien as his assistant and butler. He asked that I come and watch over you in his stead so that he may attend to his own duties in the meantime." The beetle explained. "He is quite worried about you. You were asleep after you were recovered for several days, your brief waking aside."
"Ah, I will have to send him a message to show my gratitude. Hopefully, I will not return to a comatose state again." I spoke awkwardly to the butler. I remember seeing a video about his dreamnail lines and could imagine his eyes glowing orange. I tried to put it out of my head, for my own peace of mind.
That Lurien is awake is good. "I remember… a very beautiful woman who comforted me. Do I have any other family?" I asked him plainly.
He rubbed the side of his head in thought. "Hmm. Not that I know of, honestly." He shrugged with a motion of his arm. "Your divine wife wishes for children, but you hadn't given her any far as I am aware. You never seemed to desire such."
We passed a kingsmould and I stopped. "What's this?" I asked and put my hand on the construct's armor.
"Oh, that's one of the new moulds! There's two types, kingsmoulds and wingmoulds. That would be the former. They're not actually bugs, but made from void through some manner." Darfel explained. "I wouldn't know how you managed it myself."
Nor would I, I thought with some irony. I fluttered my wings and looked into the white eyes of the mould. Underneath was a form like the Collector's, that I knew. I put my hand on their cheek. "Hello, child. It's nice to meet you." I greeted them. "Thank you for your service."
The mould patted my cheek gently with an uncertain, armored hand, mimicking my own movement.
"I am glad you were born with my hands. I must go for now." I landed and walked from there.
Darfel said nothing as he led me to a balcony, long vines hanging with white leaves to draw in nutrients where it could. Reclining in a chair much smaller than her in-game sealed form was the White Lady. "My lady, your lord husband has awakened from his slumber."
The gendered language irritated me slightly but she turned to look at me. "Thank you, leave us." The butler turned and left me with her. "Oh, my beloved Wyrm. Come to my side. You seem much better than the last time you awoke. Do you still recall nothing?" She spoke with tender affection.
I walked up to her, full of awe. She and I both glowed and now that I was no longer panicking, I could appreciate that, her beauty and the shock of meeting a named character from a game I had loved in life. "I… I am afraid so, my lady." I found myself reaching out with my hands, which she took with her tendril-like branches. She formed up hands and squeezed mine. "There is much I have to learn… where am I? What is the current standing of this land? What troubles it? Who was I?"
"You are the Pale King, dear Wyrm and my wedded husband. We had loved each other for millennia before the incident." An expression of pain crossed her face. "You stand in Hallownest, which stands in conflict with Deepnest and at a fragile peace with the Mantis tribe. The Hive stands apart, neutral from our affairs but friendly enough to trade. Lately, a sickness has come to our lands, which you stated you had discovered the source and a possible solution to. You had a few solutions, but one you had spoken to me about specifically but it had not yet been undertaken. I do not think with your state that it can be done now." She touched my cheek.
I froze. "Sickness?" I echoed, feeling sick to my stomach. "Please, tell me more."
"An angry goddess has cursed our land, for reasons deserved and undeserved. Her power is very faded, so she is unable to land a blow directly upon our persons, so she cruelly vents her frustrations upon our people instead." She explained. "You proposed a shocking, but audacious plan. It seemed like it was well-thought out and I had thought to prepare myself, except-"
"Except I can no longer do it." I was tense, but a little relieved that the vessel plan was definitely not in progress and never would be.
"You no longer have the magical knowledge to pull it off, in any case and somehow, I doubt you'd have the stomach to winnow out the unsuitable candidates. We will need to rectify at least to you knowing the basics for the sake of Hallownest and try to come up with a different solution to the dream goddess's threat." She spoke sadly. "And try to reconnect. Perhaps that part isn't so hopeless?"
"Er, I suppose we can see where things go." I now felt uncomfortable. "Lady Root, what was the plot to deal with this goddess? Have we ever spoken with her on what she is angry about or what she wants?"
"There's no need. She is attacking our nest, our citizens." She spoke dismissively. "There would be a hollow construct created, in the form of a child that could be trained up to constrain and seal her within a temple of her bane. It would grow into a fine warrior without peer and become the hope of our kingdom, then the sacrifice to enter our kingdom into a stasis to last eternally."
"So, by… winnowing out unsuitable candidates, did that mean to kill newborn children?" I asked quietly.
"Yes." She confirmed, simply and clearly.
I was silent but I let go of her hands. "I see. I will need to learn how to use my magic and to defend myself. When I meditated upon waking, I felt… something like impressions of the minds of others in the palace here. Is that a part of my magic?"
"Yes. For physical defense, your sworn knights would do very nicely. The five Great Knights are the most capable of warriors, good in heart and absolutely loyal to the kingdom." Root explained.
I knew the things she explained, but if I didn't ask, my cover would be suspicious. I needed to learn. To know that she had no apparent current objections to the killing of children and that they hadn't even tried to talk to the Radiance actually sickened me. On one hand, it was understandable given she was attacking civilians. On the other, were they so proud that they couldn't at least find out what she wanted!?
My throat felt dry. "Alright. I think I need food and drink, then I would like to be reintroduced to the knights and… relearn these disciplines as I am able."
She smiled at me with her eyes. "I will enjoy my part immensely, my love."
I couldn't return her affection, I never would.