Chapter Text
I am not ashamed to admit that I slept in the next morning, even with the cold breeze blowing in. When Marie came to shake me awake, I blearily told her I would not be going out for breakfast, and would she kindly order me cornbread, bacon and a pot of chocolate? Of course bringing that back took time, which I used by continuing to sleep. After the lack of sleep the night before, it was heavenly to sleep in.
I groggily ate breakfast, and instead of dressing for the day I returned to my bed. Full of food, and dreaming about tonight. Well, I would have slept if Mother had not torn the blankets from my bed. "You cannot sleep all day, no matter what you want."
"But Mother, there is nothing to do until later." I stretched out, searching for a bit of warmth. Marie had not closed the window and while it was warmer than last night when I had opened it, it was still rather chilly.
"I know you are excited about the dinner, but I cannot allow you to laze about." Mother pulled a dress from my closet and threw it onto me. "I expect you dressed and ready in ten minutes, Marie will be along momentarily. We shall find something to do, even if it nothing more than borrowing a book and laying in a deck chair."
I picked up the dress, smoothing out the yellow silk skirt. "Do you think they have any romances?"
"More than likely they have nothing but," Mother sighed, "If I have to read Jane Eyre one more time I will scream." She stepped out, clearing the way for Marie who quickly got me dressed and had me sit so she could begin to dress my hair.
I looked at myself in the mirror, touching my face. "Marie, do you think you could do something special with my hair tonight?"
"Whatever you have in mind, Miss." She said, draping a lock of hair over my ear.
"That's the thing, I don't have anything in mind. I will need your help, I'm rather hopeless with my hair."
"Of course, Miss." Marie finished with my hair, stepping back and waiting for dismissal. I waved her away, joining Mother in her cabin. She brought us up to the reading room, collecting a few random books before finding us a set of deck chairs. I opened my book, attempting to find some distraction in the pages.
And God, what a bore it was.
The milksop heroine did nothing but pine over her soldier, sent off to fight Napoleon's army, and slowly die of consumption while she waited for him. By the time he returned she had been buried for a month and he sat by her graveside and cried out his heart, until the heroic nun who had saved his life came to his rescue, leaving behind her vows, and he left with her to live a life bereft of his love, while she would patiently stand by him and bear his children while knowing that he would never love her as she loved him.
Fortunately the day was mostly free of the presence of Zachary, but it was also free of Will. I found I missed having him around, not just talking to him but having him near me even if we did not speak. The feeling of contentment I got around him. To know that he was nearby and would be more than willing to lend an ear or take me somewhere. There was something more though, a feeling of safety that I lacked. Even while reading I kept looking for Zachary, comforted only by Mother's presence next to me. Sometimes Zachary would respect her presence, but after the other night, apparently that time had passed. But with Will, I knew that Zachary felt some kind of threat that sent him scurrying off. I set the book down with an exaggerated sigh, "Mother, would you mind if I went to go prepare for dinner now? I feel I would like to wash."
"Go straight to the cabin and send someone for Marie." She nodded, "And ask them to return your book." I fairly flew down the staircases and through the passageways, finding a steward and relaying my requests. By the time Marie entered the cabin I was already up to my chin in hot water.
She sat beside the tub and began to rub the shampoo bar across my hair. "I take it you're excited about this dinner, Miss?"
"Am I that obvious, Marie?" I sleepily said as her fingers began to massage my scalp.
"My sister, when she first met Jean, she was just like you. Always wanted to be with him, make herself pretty for him."
I sunk beneath the water. "Oh God, so I am making a fool of myself."
Marie gently lifted my head back up. "No, you are young and besotted. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Now, get out so I can dry your hair." I rose from the tub, wrapping a towel around myself until I stepped into my dressing gown. Marie spent a solid twenty minutes drying my hair with an increasing number of towels. "Now, let's get you all ready. Have you decided on the gown?"
"The dark blue taffeta with the ivory chiffon underskirt." I knew in an instant what I wanted to wear. It was my favorite gown that I had picked up during our trip, sweeping low in the neckline and the blue silk lifted on one side to expose the ruffled chiffon. When I walked in it the chiffon would swirl out, foaming around my ankles. I had begged Mother for it, and she had not only allowed the purchase but arranged for it to be supplied before we left Paris. Marie pulled it out of the wardrobe, calling the steward to take it to be pressed. From her pocket she withdrew a small bottle and curling papers. I could smell the rose scent as she poured it into her hands, rubbed it onto her fingers and then drug her fingers through my hair. She separated my hair into a series of locks, curling the paper around them.
"There, curls in an hour. So long as you don't open that window again and catch your death of cold." She set the bottle on the vanity. "Will you want anything else for tonight?"
"My diamond earrings? You'd have to get them from the purser."
Marie drew my chin up, her eyes narrowing as she considered my appearance. "I think not, Miss. While beautiful, those are cold stones. Your pearls should suit both your complexion and your dress well." She drew out a fresh chemise and corset, stockings and shoes. I pulled the chemise on, letting it fall and swirl around my calves. The stockings I slowly rolled on, securing with a set of garters. The corset was one of the new fashioned long line ones, coming down over my hips. Marie did not tighten it too much, just enough that I felt supported. A petticoat went over the corset, dropping lower than the chemise.
By that time the gown had been pressed and returned, and it slipped on easy. While Marie busied herself with the myriad buttons on the back I drew on my silk gloves, flexing my fingers against the slight pull of them. I could not describe what Marie did with my hair to dress it, I have never been good at describing hairdressing. Suffice to say it was curled, wound around itself and piled high, held in place with enough pins that I would normally have rejected it but tonight, tonight I could endure it. Marie hooked my pearl necklace around my throat, then covered my dress with a towel as she set to with powder and rouge. She had a delicate touch, a bit of color to my lips and cheeks, blended by powder to appear as natural as could be. A few drops of Florida water completed my toilette, and Marie stood back to admire her work. "Well, whoever he is, he will not be able to resist you tonight."
I admired my reflection in the mirror, so used to seeing my own face that to see her handiwork was like seeing a familiar stranger. "Oh, Marie. Thank you, this is incredible." I looked to the window, seeing that it was dark. The time seemed to have passed so quickly, and I anxiously stood and brushed out my skirt. I looked back to the mirror, perhaps a little more rouge?
"Miss Dalian, are you ready?" Will called from outside, lightly rapping. Marie smirked at my reaction, which had sent me hurriedly patting at my hair and adjusting my necklace. I ignored that and nodded to her, stepping outside as she drew open the door. Will stood there, hat in place and wearing what looked to be a formal version of his uniform, the jacket cut longer, so it became a coat with shining brass buttons. I could see a silk tie wrapped around his throat, a starched collar peeking up. He let out a breath, stepping back. "My God, Anastasia."
I tugged at my gloves. "Do I look alright?"
He reached over, taking my hands in his. "You're beautiful." He shook his head, "Not that you are not always beautiful but, now, now you are breathtaking." My heart was in my throat, and I let him pull me closer. I was trying to come up with something to say when Mother and Father exited their cabin.
"Ah, Mr. Murdoch. Lovely to see you, are you ready?" Mother greeted him warmly, having taken Father's arm as they walked forward.
"Oh, yes, Mrs. Dalian. Thank you again for your invitation. I have been looking forward to it all day, a chance to get away from Mr. Andrews and his myriad problems." Will started walking with them, holding me close.
Father looked over, and I was sure he would say something about Will needing to leave me space, but he merely questioned Will about the issues. Apparently Mr. Andrews had needed Will to help run messages between rooms that were having problems with their heating. Mr. Andrews would come up with some adjustment, and Will would run the orders down to the engine rooms and come back to see the result and receive further orders.
Mother shook her head as the stewards opened the door to the restaurant. "You must be exhausted."
"Oh no, ma'am. It was no hardship." Will said, but I could see the tiredness in his eyes. "I am used to the trials of ship life."
"I would caution you to go light on the wine tonight, the last thing we need is you falling asleep at the table." Father chuckled as he handed Mother down into her seat.
Will gave my fingers as squeeze as he handed me down, then sat beside me. "I do not drink during a voyage, sir. None of the officers do. So, you do not need to worry about me falling asleep. However I may have a hard time moving after all this food." He chuckled as he looked down at the menu.
I looked at the menu. Ten courses, if one considered cigars and after dinner drinks to be a course. "Father, surely you will not make Mr. Murdoch sample everything?"
"He damn well will," Father grumbled, signaling to a steward to come over. "After what he did for you, I will stuff the man as full as I can." Father gave our order for the full meal, with accompanying wines, excluding Will, who would gladly stick to lemonade. Mother and I drew off our gloves, our escorts taking them from us for safekeeping.
I looked over at Will, "I hope you're hungry."
"Oh, I find I enjoy a large dinner." He smiled at me, "Sometimes I forget to eat breakfast so a large dinner is well appreciated." I almost put the white wine we had been brought for the first course through my nose.
Father chuckled at my distress, "I see your time with my daughter has been affecting you."
"I have been enjoying my time with her sir," Will sipped his lemonade. "I find her outlook on life refreshing." The first course was brought, plover eggs over a beef aspic with caviar, arranged to look like a flower. I took a bite, letting the salt of the caviar play across my taste buds, the richness of the egg smooth on my tongue. Will was finished before any of us, letting the steward remove his plate while we took our time to chase down every last bit on our plates. He rubbed at his nose, "I'm sorry, I'm not used to this style of dining. Too many meals in the officer mess, I suppose. Eating as fast as we could to get back to work."
Mother finished her wine, "Well, I hope you learn to enjoy some leisure time here, Mr. Murdoch. These meals are an experience, meant to be savored." The next course was quickly brought, a light and delicate split pea soup. We continued onward, and Will dd manage to slow down the speed with which he ate. Lobster thermidor with potatoes, tender beef with mushrooms and braised cabbage, after those I was feeling quite stuffed when we were presented with the next course. It was a slightly pink sorbet in a chilled glass, garnished with mint.
"Oh, thank God, something light." I muttered, spooning up a bite. The delicate taste of rosewater overwhelmed my mouth, it felt as if I had eaten a flower.
Father ate his in three bites. "You had better pace yourself my dear, this is only the fifth course." I took up another small spoonful, trying to summon the desire to continue eating. But then I looked at Will, gently scraping his spoon along the glass to catch the last bit, and I decided that even if I could not move tomorrow I would eat every morsel as long as he was there.
Will looked over to me as a steward removed his plate. "Ms. Dalian, how did the dinner last night go, with the unexpected guest?"
"Guest? We didn't have any guests." Father furrowed his brow.
"He means the DeWitt Bukater's guest, dear." Mother patted his hand. "The third class boy from last night."
I took a sip of wine. "It was fairly calm, he was actually quite charming."
"You mean you have not heard?" Mother leaned in, all of us listening closely as she dropped her voice. "Mr. Hockley's valet was spotted following him and Rose DeWitt Bukater down into third class. He took her to a party down there."
I could see Father grin. "I bet that put a twist in Hockley's tail."
"I would say we should not expect to see that boy back up here for the rest of the voyage." Mother replied, her voice light. "But if you ask me, Rose has only improved since she met him."
I was just about to try to continue the conversation when stewards approached with the next course, quail in cherries, and I saw a group that had me frozen in my seat. The Reichsters had entered, and I could only pray that we escaped their notice. We were not so fortunate. I will admit I had some trepidation as I saw Mr Reichster, trailed by his wife and son, approach our table. I must have made some sign for I felt Will grip my hand under the table.
"Gareth!" Mr. Reichster called out, shaking Father's hand as he got close. "It's been too long."
"Harry, and here I thought you were too busy to say hello." Father was less enthusiastic but still polite.
"And your family, such a delight. You know Anastasia, Zachary has been asking about a promenade with you all trip." He gave me a smile, "He wants to be sure you weren't too injured after your dance the other night. He was worried that you would be laid up for the rest of the voyage."
"Yes, 'Stasia." Zachary stepped forward, "Please, let me escort you tomorrow. As an apology. We have only a few days left on this boat and I have only seen you a few times. I would dearly love to take you on a walk."
"I'm terribly sorry Mr. Reichster, but I have promised tomorrow's afternoon promenade to First Officer Murdoch here." I felt the lie fall quickly and sweetly from my lips. I squeezed Will's hand, praying he would play along.
Will for his part, covered admirably. "Yes, I have been curious about Dalian shipping and Miss Dalian has been most helpful in that matter. I was hoping to interrogate her a bit more tomorrow."
"Looking for a career change Mr. Murdoch? I must tell you, Reichster Transport would pay you far better." Mr. Reichster set his hand with a thump on the back of Father's chair.
"No sir, merely curious."
"Well, perhaps the day after. You know Anastasia, Zachary quite fancies you. I'm surprised you haven't noticed." He looked back to his son, and Zachary's green eyes flashed in the light as he looked to me.
I bit my tongue, floundering for the right words. "I'm very flattered Mr Reichster, but I cannot break my promise to Mr Murdoch."
"Yes, I have promised Miss Dalian a full tour during her promenade." Will smoothly said, casting a glance over to me. I gave him a small smile. What followed was some masculine blustering between Mr. Reichster and Father, the usual bets laid down on who's ship would come in first and the offer of drinks on the other in the smoking room. But eventually Mr. Reichster strode away, collecting his wife and a glowering Zachary as he left. I avoided looking at Zachary, turning instead to Will. He had handled himself well, and I got to spite Zachary again, all and all a good interaction. I still would rather have avoided it, but I could hardly have stood up and run from the restaurant without causing a scene.
Will waited a few moments before speaking. "This reminds me, I would actually like to ask you something, Mr. Dalian."
"What is it, Mr. Murdoch? A position on one of my ships? I must warn you, I do not give them out easy."
"No, Mr. Dalian, not a position. I should like your permission to call on your daughter while we are docked in New York." He lifted his chin, "I find her to be a most wonderful woman in all ways and would dearly love to continue my courtship."
"You've already begun to court her?" Father placed his hands on the table, and I could see his color beginning to rise. Father, for all his teasing about my lack of suitors, always reacted this way when someone showed interest. Mother said he was just overprotective, but I was always worried that he would scare off any boy who showed up.
"In my mind, yes, but I have not asked Anastasia for her opinion." Will looked over, "Would you agree to a courtship?"
I looked at Father, who was slowly turning more and more red. "Oh Father, please let him. Please, I will do anything."
Father spoke through gritted teeth. "Mr. Murdoch, you will tell me why you think yourself worthy of courting my daughter."
"I know that I am older sir, and that I am a widower, but I feel that I could provide her with a good life. I have a good career with White Star, and I should make Chief Officer soon and then Captain. I have a home in Southampton, and my family has their homes in Scotland. We have been sailors going far back in my family tree, and good sailors will always be needed. I know that I am not of the caliber that other suitors may be, but I feel very strongly toward your daughter and I can only hope that she returns my feelings."
Mother placed a hand on Father's wrist. "Gareth, calm yourself before people notice. Anastasia, what do you have to say?"
I took a sip of champagne to fortify myself. "I do return Mr. Murdoch's feelings Father, I find him to be a kind man who has been nothing but pleasant to me the entire time I have known him. He makes me feel safe, and, I find him very handsome." I bashfully looked down at this, only peeking up to view Will's surprised face. I shamelessly batted my eyelashes, and he quickly looked away.
Father had now lost all color. "If he is lacking in anything Anastasia, if he mistreats you in any way, I am sending him back to England on one of our ships. In the cargo hold."
"Then you will give your permission?" Will asked, his voice catching.
"Yes, you may court my daughter." Father grumbled, then rose saying something about needing a stronger drink. Will waited until he had left to kiss my hand and give me a wide smile. I couldn't help but beam back at him, the fluttering in my heart gone now that I knew my feelings were returned. While Father was gone the next course arrives, quails in cherry sauce, but I could barely notice it. My heart was soaring and I barely even noticed as I started on the quail.
Mother pierced a cherry with her fork. "You could have spoken to him before dinner, Anastasia."
"Oh, I am sorry Mother." I said breezily. "I did not know Mr. Murdoch would bring it up so suddenly." To be quite honest, I didn't care a whit that I hadn't brought it up to Father beforehand. All I cared about at that moment was Will, knowing that he could visit at anytime, could write me letters, could take to dances in New York. I barely tasted the spring asparagus with hollandaise, my mind and eyes focused on Will.
"Anastasia, if I had known you would look so moonstruck I would not have agreed to it." Father said, harshly cutting through my mental haze. "Keep your head on straight."
I looked down, we had moved onto the last course, the fruit course. "I am sorry Father, it is only I am so happy." I ate my orange meringue with a smile, and then it was only light cordials for Mother and I, with cigars presented to Father and Will.
Father tucked it into his coat pocket along with a matchbook, "Would you care to smoke these outside with me, Mr. Murdoch?"
"That sounds pleasant, sir." Will stood, then pulled out his pocket watch. "We shall have to be quick though, I am due on watch in half an hour." Father merely nodded, and started for the door. Will stood, reaching out a hand and lifting me up. He looked to Mother, "Thank you for the dinner, ma'am. It was terrific." I froze as he bent down, and pressed his lips to my cheek. "I shall see you tomorrow, dear." I watched as his lips curved up as he said the word. "For our promenade?"
"Oh yes, after the Divine Service." I gave him a wide smile. "I shall be praying for a rescue after that, I think." Will chuckled at that, and moved to follow Father. I reached up and gently touched my cheek, expecting my face to be as hot as I felt it must be, but my cheek was warm and smooth, nothing out of the ordinary. I am ashamed to say that Mother had to collect me and shake me from my reverie.
She smiled down at me as she removed the pins from my hair back in my cabin. "I think you have chosen well, dear. He must be a brave man to be willing to face down your father like that."
"Mother, you don't think Father will say anything to send him away, do you?" I had a sudden panic, the thought of Father railing against Will and sending him scurrying back to the officer's quarters for the rest of the crossing.
"No, but you have to remember, you are his only child," Mother pressed a kiss to the top of my head, "And mine too. We only want the best for you, more than likely he will just take the measure of Mr. Murdoch, man to man."
I sighed, looking at the mirror, using a washcloth to remove the powder and rouge. All of Marie's hard work, gone in a few wipes of a cloth. "Will he measure up to what Father wants, do you think?"
Mother had sat on the bed, leaning down to unbutton her shoes. "I think he will do fine. All your Father wants is a man who will treat you with respect, act in a proper manner, and keep you safe." She gave a tired smile, "He was so angry at Zachary after I told him what had happened, I thought he would kill the boy."
"Is that why he left?" I asked, my voice soft.
"So you heard that then."
"It was rather hard not to." I smirked, reaching up to unfasten my necklace.
"He left to go find the Master-at-Arms and demand something be done. But he was told that unless Zachary tried to force himself on you again," I flinched at her direct wording, "then there was nothing he could do. Edward brought him back from the Smoking Room at two in the morning, completely drunk."
"Oh not again." I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. Father did not overindulge often, but when he did it practically took the whole house to get him to his bed. Thank God Edward had handled him. I couldn't imagine some poor steward having to deal with Father trying to drag them outside to go for a brisk walk, his usual preferred pastime when he had been drinking.
The knob to the shared door moved, opening slightly. "Ah, Ruth, could I come in?"
"Of course, Gareth." Mother said, reaching down and picking up her shoes, "I need to get ready for bed anyway. Good night, Anastasia."
I felt my stomach twist itself into knots, an absurd nervousness rearing up inside me. "Good night, Mother." I saw her give Father a brief kiss as she slipped by him, and he quickly took her place, sitting on the bed. I could smell the cigar smoke on him, a little bit of ash on his collar.
"Did you know he would ask that at dinner tonight?" Father spoke slowly, but I couldn't feel any anger in his voice.
My stomach unclenched a little. "No, I was going to speak to you tomorrow about a possibility, but I didn't know he would ask about it tonight."
"And he hasn't done anything untoward during this trip?"
I stood up, coming to sit by him. "No Father, he's been very sweet. And he makes Zachary angry which is an added benefit."
He chuckled, pulling me close and kissing the top of my head. "Well, if you're sure that he's what you want."
"I am, I promise." I leaned over and kissed his cheek, feeling the stubble underneath my lips. "Please tell me you didn't scare him off when you went out."
He stood, reaching down to ruffle my hair like I was a schoolgirl. "I doubt I could scare that man, but I think he'll do well for you Anastasia. Now, why don't you get ready for bed, the Divine Service is early tomorrow."
I stood up and embraced him, smelling the sweet bay rum cologne he wore. "Thank you, Father."
He held me close for a few seconds, then gently released me. "Good night Anastasia, you made a good choice."